How much communication do you need?
Comedian Chris Rock once said that women loved talking so much, that if talking were an Olympic sport men wouldn’t stand a chance. Alright, so women enjoy talking…a lot. What do men have against talking? There doesn’t seem to be a loss of words when it comes to NBA playoff debates or fantasy football stats!
What some men seem to dread is the discussions about their relationships, though. Honestly, I’m not a big fan of the long drawn out talks about relationship issues either. I understand that communication is important to make a relationship work. I just think some people take it too far and go overboard. How much communication do you really need in a relationship, anyway?
A reader emailed me recently because she has a hard time getting her man to talk about their sex life. She wants to find out what he likes, tell him what she likes, and really work on making things better. Her man is not the “communicating type” i.e. he’d rather just figure it out in the bedroom without all the deconstructing and analyzing.
I know that a man who is not big on communicating is likely to change, but is there some way to compromise this kind of thing?
Men, does it bother you when you are pressed to share feelings, thoughts, etc. when you are dating someone? If you are in a relationship, are you willing to meet your woman half way and do a little more communicating?
Ladies, do you find that talking to your man about the relationship is like pulling teeth? Have you tried taking him to a sports bar and talking to him over a beer? <– Advice from Steve Harvey. True Story.
BY Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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279 comments Add your comment
Blackfoote
April 13th, 2011
1:26 pm
LOL…..@Leggs
What about you Leggs do you have any more cradles on order for you?
Sassy Me...Exhaling :-)
April 13th, 2011
1:27 pm
Okay I just read an article about TSA frisking a 6 year old…a six year old!!
Was that even necessary? I understand that we are in a heightened security age since the 911 attacks but how far is too far when it comes to frisking people?!
Celisea
April 13th, 2011
1:27 pm
Fion – Whew, I thought you was gonna take me waaaay back. Naw not that number but you’re not too far off.
Leggs
April 13th, 2011
1:30 pm
@Blackfoote ~ go wash your mouth out with soap! I ain’t birthing no mo babies! At my age, why would I even let that cross my mind? I sealed my wiring long time ago!
Blackfoote
April 13th, 2011
1:32 pm
Yeah Sassy the oldest I’ve heard them frisking is a 91 year old lady now a 6 year old. Next it will be newborns…..LOL
Celisea
April 13th, 2011
1:34 pm
Leggs – I sealed my wiring long time ago!
I haven’t but I ain’t birthing no mo babies either
Leggs
April 13th, 2011
1:34 pm
@SassyMe ~ it was all over the news. The little girl was so polite and mannerable. But, she kept saying she “wanted to be excused” from the pat down. She didn’t understand what she had done. I understand the comment her parents made this morning. How do you tell your child that grownups are not suppose to touch you/pat you in certain places. That it’s “bad,” only to ten have a security officer do exactly that. The girl started crying because she thought she did something wrong.
Blackfoote
April 13th, 2011
1:37 pm
LOL……@Leggs
“go wash your mouth out with soap!”
My grandmom took care of that a long time ago there you go bringing back the memories some I would rather forget…..LOL
Leggs
April 13th, 2011
1:38 pm
@Blackfoote ~
Cute!
Sassy Me...Exhaling :-)
April 13th, 2011
1:38 pm
Leggs that is too sad and unfortunate. It definietly sends mixed messaged to children. Now this little girl may have developed a fear of flying because of that. That can be a very traumatic for a child and even moreso because she thought it was her fault.
Blackfoote they probably already have tried to scan a newborn at the rate they’re going…tsk tsk tsk..
Celisea
April 13th, 2011
1:38 pm
Leggs – @Celisea ~ I’m over here thinking like a little like you. I love my child dearly, but not enough to give her a sibling. Hell, not even enough to give her a gerbil (which she wants)!
Every now and then she’ll make reference to being an only child and wishing for sibs but that’s neither here nor there to me. Not a rodent. Ut uh, heck no, no way. Gold fish or a dog…take her pick
Sassy Me...Exhaling :-)
April 13th, 2011
1:39 pm
should’ve been *definitely* but y’all get the jist..
Leggs
April 13th, 2011
1:43 pm
Exactly ~ no freaking rodents! Get a cat…they take care of themselves. You only need to do 3 things (1) feed them, (2) yearly vet visits, and (3) stroke the top of their heads every so often.
I did ask if she wanted a bro or sis up to about age 7. She said no. I always got the same 2 answers. (1) she would have to share her toys, and (2) she would have to share her mommy! That was so sweet. I stopped asking because I knew the answers would change as she got older. I opted to stick with the sweet one (lol)!!
Blackfoote
April 13th, 2011
1:47 pm
Leggs are you trying to envoke Stanley Q……LOL
Leggs
April 13th, 2011
1:48 pm
Naturally, I thought of him, Blackfoote. Perhaps he won’t surface since the convo was geared toward a pet for a child (not a grownup). Hopefully, he sees the difference (LOLOL).
Raqi V
April 13th, 2011
1:50 pm
Celisea and Leggs, once they have reach teen years sibling free let it stay that way. LOL
My womb must have felt obligated to give Liz someone to grow up with being that her other brothers are 20 and 14 years older than her.
Leggs
April 13th, 2011
1:55 pm
Yes indeedy, Raqi V, yes indeedy! I’m cracking up. You are right, Celisea!!!
Fion
April 13th, 2011
1:58 pm
At some point you just have to shut the factory down. As a Guy, why have a baby at 60, or some other crazy (Ol’azz) age. i just don’t get it.
Raqi V
April 13th, 2011
2:07 pm
LOL Fion. I am in no way closed for my hub’s business because I likes the way he handles his business. But that department (the baby making depot) of the establishment has been officially terminated.
Fion
April 13th, 2011
2:11 pm
To that extent I agree, if you’re not having children, why get married. If you know Procreation is not going to be part of the picture, love your SO and be happy. Why not.
just sayin
Fion
April 13th, 2011
2:15 pm
Caveat , now I’m talk grown folk who by and lagre are shootin’ blanks anyhow!!!!
Yeah, i said it!!!! Now what!!!!! DO SUMTHIN!!!!!
Fion
April 13th, 2011
2:17 pm
Male and Female…..
Raqi V
April 13th, 2011
2:17 pm
if you’re not having children, why get married
Really Fion? When I married my husband having more kids was not in my plans. He and I married because we want a life together as husband and wife. The ultimate commitment.
I think having the grandson over so much a while back got his paternal wheels turning. He loves being a granddad so he wanted some of his own. LOL I guess.
Fion
April 13th, 2011
2:21 pm
yeah Raqi, but you were young enough to make that plausible. If you are in your 20’s 30’s
you should marry because it’s plausible for you have kids.
As you mature and get older its a different question.
DidItOnThem
April 13th, 2011
2:21 pm
Is a 45 yr old man wanting to just get started having kids strange?
To be 50 with a five yr old>>>weird
Celisea
April 13th, 2011
2:25 pm
Raqi/Leggs – Celisea and Leggs, once they have reach teen years sibling free let it stay that way. LOL
Amen and Amen
Fion – You ain’t shacking up are you? I know you ain’t procreating and you just said no babies no marriage….you shaking up?
Leggs
April 13th, 2011
2:25 pm
Let me ask you guys this: Any of you have an opinion on the Muslim lady missing. Specifically, her husband showing her picture in Muslim garb and w/o saying he wouldn’t normally show this to the public because it’s against their religion. Perhaps, I’m reading too much into it, but thought it would have had more strength if he said something along the lines of “I’m showing her w/o her traditional garb in the hopes that if’s she’s not wearing it she may be recognized.” I don’t know. Something’s not right with the chain of events.
Raqi V
April 13th, 2011
2:26 pm
you should marry because it’s plausible for you have kids
And for no other reason, Fion? So you see marriage as just a means to bring kids into the world? Other than that marriage has no honor in your opinion?
i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")
April 13th, 2011
2:26 pm
Okay, since we’re on the baby talk… maybe some of you blog parents can help me out here…
Question: Is there any correlation between a woman’s level of PMS crazy and her level of hormone-induced preggers crazy? Is preggers crazy > PMS crazy? And if so, by how much? Trying to gauge whether or not I’d be able to survive for 9 months my own d@mn self…
Leggs
April 13th, 2011
2:27 pm
@Fion ~ your post reminded me of Tony Randall. Why the heck have a child and your 78 or maybe he was 80 years of age. Why! The fact he could even ejaculate was impressive. Ok, I take the last comment back! Not really.
Celisea
April 13th, 2011
2:30 pm
DIDITONTHEM – Is a 45 yr old man wanting to just get started having kids strange? To be 50 with a five yr old>>>weird
Heck yeah. My oldest brother is 12 years older than me and he’s got a 12 year old….huh? I get irked everytime he’s visiting the city. He can’t seem to grasp how “unnatural” that looks.
Fion
April 13th, 2011
2:31 pm
@Celisea
“Fion – You ain’t shacking up are you? I know you ain’t procreating and you just said no babies no marriage….you shaking up?”
Will you stop blowin cigarette smoke in my face. And please turn that Lamp off!!!!
No, I’m not shackin’
Celisea
April 13th, 2011
2:33 pm
Swiss from my experience and what I’ve been told about the roller coaster ride I took my kid’s dad on, ummm not the same crazy. Even before I knew I was pregnant he said “you must be pregnant because your emotions are ALL OVER THE PLACE.” Guess what? I was…VERY pregnant at that.
Leggs – I think there’s something wrong with that picture. I can’t say for certain I believe her husband had something to do with it but something ain’t right and ain’t adding up.
Celisea
April 13th, 2011
2:34 pm
Fion – Will you stop blowin cigarette smoke in my face. And please turn that Lamp off!!!!
Okay okay, my bad
Raqi V
April 13th, 2011
2:36 pm
Leggs, him showing her exposed says a lot. Those that even practice the covering up of the women are very strict when it comes to their religion. Reading your comment I just assume what you said he should have said is why he actually showed the picture.
And the one thing about certain sects of people, getting rid of a wife (that goes against “whatever”) is like throwing out trash for them. They will do it and go back to their home country where it is accepted to avoid being governed under the US laws. He stayed here so I think she may just have gone missing by some other evil means.
DidItOnThem
April 13th, 2011
2:36 pm
@Celisea- how old is your brother?
The way my friend has explained it, it sounds logical but I be damned. You 60 with a ten yr old, people will think you a grand-dad…wtf?
Purple Rain
April 13th, 2011
2:37 pm
I am setting up a Flicker account so you all can see Dante!
Raqi V
April 13th, 2011
2:38 pm
Swiss, no it’s different. My PMS crazy makes me ornery, but my preggers overload made me overly girly sensitive and physically sick.
i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")
April 13th, 2011
2:38 pm
“Even before I knew I was pregnant he said “you must be pregnant because your emotions are ALL OVER THE PLACE.” Guess what? I was…VERY pregnant at that.”
Hmmm… maybe I need to stop by the drug store on the way home…
Raqi V
April 13th, 2011
2:40 pm
Didit, I will be 52 and my hub 53 when our son turns 10. I know many people will think we are the grandparents. My grandson turns 5 this year.
Celisea
April 13th, 2011
2:41 pm
DIDITONTHEM – @Celisea- how old is your brother?
Well, let’s see. If I tell that then I’ll reveal my exact age
He’s not 60 but he’s too old for a young girl like that. He’s been asked on more than one occasion if that was his granddaughter. Then her tail is fast as I don’t know what. That’s another thing. I have to leave because I want to take a switch to her with that grown mouth. Of course it’s all cute to him. I have NO PROBLEM AT ALL TELLING HER at granny’s house children stay in their place.
Celisea
April 13th, 2011
2:43 pm
Swiss, no it’s different. My PMS crazy makes me ornery, but my preggers overload made me overly girly sensitive and physically sick.
Cosign
Swiss – You have been warned
Raqi V
April 13th, 2011
2:43 pm
Celisea, didn’t I read one day where you said you are very close to my age? I think that was you. Or was that BlackMagic?
Celisea
April 13th, 2011
2:44 pm
Raqi – Celisea, didn’t I read one day where you said you are very close to my age? I think that was you
Yes ma’am that was me.
Celisea
April 13th, 2011
2:44 pm
BlackMagic is a youngin…
want to know
April 13th, 2011
2:51 pm
Swiss, Is your wife pregnant?
i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")
April 13th, 2011
2:56 pm
Not that I know of — though it’s possible. Based on the Crazy-Meter over the weekend, if Aunt Flo doesn’t visit in the next day or two, then I’d say there’s a good chance…
Raqi V
April 13th, 2011
2:56 pm
BlackMagic is a youngin…
Whatchu saying? So am I!!!! LOL
Seriously though I love being 40+. Love, love, love it. I am not to fond of the extra stretching I have to do every morning to get going but I am so far loving my 40s.
Raqi V
April 13th, 2011
2:57 pm
Swiss, does she hate you hate any extra or love you any more than usual?
i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")
April 13th, 2011
2:59 pm
“Swiss, does she hate you hate any extra or love you any more than usual?”
Raqi — We went back & forth to/from both extremes a few times in very short order…