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Dating outside the box

A friend of mine wanted to know if I had any tips for meeting and dating white guys.  I’ve been known to date men from many different ethnic backgrounds, while she has recently decided to date “other.” I honestly don’t do anything differently, though. I generally meet and date them the same as I do other men.

I have found that when you find people who share the same interests, you are likely to meet someone that sparks an interest, regardless of their background. That is when you sort of let things happen naturally.  I did encourage her to venture to different “scenes” and add some variety to her social calendar.

Do you find it hard to date outside your box? Do you think we should meet and date people from different backgrounds to increase our dating options?

When it comes to race, religion, or political beliefs, how different are you willing to date?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

347 comments Add your comment

[...] more: Dating outside the box | Misadventures in Atlanta This entry was posted in Dating and tagged been-known, date-men, dating, different-ethnic, [...]

Katz

April 11th, 2011
8:16 am

Simple Man!!!!

April 11th, 2011
8:21 am

Morning All!!! Hella weekend I can say that much!!!I do not nor have I ever had a dating box but This is Atlanta and we all thsi is the town of cliques!!!I fully understand how it happens just not quite sure why?????

Caitlin

April 11th, 2011
8:46 am

Box, Schmox……I just need some sex. Everyone is on the table….

Simple Man!!!!

April 11th, 2011
8:49 am

“I just need some sex” :D :) :D

Abdul

April 11th, 2011
8:52 am

I don’t think there is much of anything wrong with “dating outside of the box”…that is IF you can handle whatever repercussions follow. Dating different races is more and more acceptable in the adult world, but the younger generation will pile on someone that dates interacially. It used to be that a black man with a white woman was the only minling, but now more white men are dating black women. Both races have a sect that will just HAMMER these people. Like I said, if you can handle the repercussions, more power to you. But make no mistake about it, there will be rammifications for the adult couple AND the children. It’s not a question of IF.

Mike P

April 11th, 2011
8:54 am

This should be an interesting topic… wanna see what the women folk gonna say.

MC Hammock

April 11th, 2011
8:57 am

It’s always easier to date within your religion, race, economic background, etc., but it’s not exclusive. You do whatever is you. We had a group of black thugs beat another black boy senseless because he was dating a white girl and these things do happen. I think adults are more responsible and tolerant, but there is the lunatic fringe in whites and blacks. Just do what you do and forget about the naysayers.

knockoutblonde

April 11th, 2011
9:02 am

Good morning everyone. Hope you had a great weekend!

I think it’s individual choosing and no one else’s business. I do have certain things that don’t appeal to me, but it’s not religious intolerance, racism or class discrimination. It’s just that certain things don’t apreal to me. I date who I want and that’s that. Doesn’t make me any less of a person or more of a person than the next chick. Different cultures bring different things to the table and that’s a good thing. It’s like a buffet. Just choose what you want and clean your plate.

Reggie

April 11th, 2011
9:04 am

I speak just for myself, but there is absolutely nothing sexier than a hot latino woman. Latin fire and they move their hips like they are attached by a ball socket. Heaven’s gotta look a lot like Eva Menendez.

Black Queen

April 11th, 2011
9:07 am

I date mainly black men, but have dated white and latino men as well. Noting wrong with that as long as they treat me with respect. I don’t pay any attention to religion, unless they are athiest or Muslim. Just be nice, treat me well and it’s a date!

Denzel Washington

April 11th, 2011
9:10 am

I get along with everyone as long as they know I’m the best looking and sexiest man alive. Look at this smile…..you want me, dontcha?

Simple Man!!!!

April 11th, 2011
9:11 am

Black Queen, Why would you not date an athiest???

Groom2011

April 11th, 2011
9:15 am

Doesn’t matter what race, who you get or what the question is. Halle Berry is the answer!

Quetsion: “Who is the hottest woman on the planet, but still can’t seem to hang onto a man for very long?”

Black Queen

April 11th, 2011
9:17 am

@Simple. Not my cup of tea. Way too many philosophical differences in that coupling and dating is stressful enough without that being in the mix. If you want to, do get ‘em!

Ronnie

April 11th, 2011
9:19 am

The only restriction I have is…..if you aren’t in the p0rn industry, we ain’t datin’.

mark

April 11th, 2011
9:46 am

i see we are beating this dead horse again!! and i personally would not date “outside of the Box”. because i was told early in life to only date black women and thats what im going to do! someone stated that you see more white men dating black women, thats because a lot of sistas are confused and think that white men want them for lifepartners and thats so not the truth. white men only like black Ass not black women. and when the novelty of screwing a black woman wears off then what sistas? i personaly would would drop a sista with the quickness if i found out she had Dated a White Man.

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 11th, 2011
9:49 am

“Dating different races is more and more acceptable in the adult world, but the younger generation will pile on someone that dates interacially”

Actually, from my experience, it’s been the exact opposite. The older folks are more likely to take issue with it than younger generations, at least from my experience.

Simple Man!!!!

April 11th, 2011
9:50 am

Damn Mark…Little early for that kind of hostility Huh????. Take off the Bow Tie, Put away the Final Call, and exhale….It will be ok…. :)

Fion

April 11th, 2011
9:52 am

……..Bean pie, my brother!

Leggs

April 11th, 2011
9:52 am

Good morning! Hope you guys behaved (but somehow I doubt that).

<em?Do you find it hard to date outside your box? Haven’t quite wrapped my brain around dating outside of my race, but must admit I’ve been thinking about it. Not sure what hangups I will have until I’m actually faced with the prospect.

Do you think we should meet and date people from different backgrounds to increase our dating options? YES. Men tend to date women of different ethnicities, why shouldn’t women do the same. Again, it’s all about one’s mindset. Right now, mine is still stuck on black!

When it comes to race, religion, or political beliefs, how different are you willing to date? I doubt that I could date a devout church goer. Although I go to church, I don’t go every Sunday. I’m of the mindset that I can worship my God, rever my God, love my God without actually being in a church building all the time.

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 11th, 2011
10:00 am

I see the trolls got a bright & early start this morning…

kimmie

April 11th, 2011
10:01 am

Good morning all!

I date those who want to date me. That’s usually been my own kind. Just the way it worked out. The only “box” I have ever put myself in when choosing a man to date has been religion. I am one that thinks ahead. Sure it’s “just a date”. But what if that 1 date turns into several and I catch feelings? I don’t date anyone whose religious beliefs and practices are radically different than mine. So I find out before I even get anything started. No need in looking crazy a few months down the line when I’ve caught feelings. I am not converting, and I am not raising any kids in something I don’t believe in. It has not limited my personal dating pool at all.

I say to each his/her own though. Do what makes YOU happy. Forget the naysayers. I just hate it when folks get with “other” then put down their own.

Dan - Simply....Superior

April 11th, 2011
10:02 am

Putting yourself in a box: limits possibilities, defines down your opportunities (in life and in love) and confines you to an existence that – at it’s basis – won’t allow you to grow beyond your own fears and perceptions.

It also places you in the unproductive condundrum of having a set of beliefs, never looking to challenge those beliefs, and thusly, never knowing if your belief system stands up to scrutiny – essentially creating your own world (reality).

Placing other people in “boxes”: is the height of arrogance and ignorance. To think that you limited experience could be translated and projected upon another person is just….

AmazonRed™

April 11th, 2011
10:02 am

Morning all –

While I am not opposed to dating “others” :lol: … this is Atlanta, black folks are the majority. Since the pickins aren’t slim, I just don’t really encounter too many opportunities to meet “others.”

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 11th, 2011
10:07 am

From a purely genetics standpoint, inter-racial mating is probably the best thing you could do for any potential offspring — best possible odds of getting good genes and avoiding bad ones. So there’s that… ;-)

Lasha

April 11th, 2011
10:08 am

@Mark, I take issue with your post. Comments and the attitude like that is exactly one of the reasons I sometimes date white men if they ask. There are just as many black men putting “notches” in their bedpost as white men. If he treats me nice, whether he is black or white, I enjoy his company. Someone as shallow as you and obviously has a chip on his shoulder about whites, wouldn’t understand. Maybe you CAN’T understand…

Lasha

April 11th, 2011
10:12 am

And MARK, the sistas aren’t confused, they are just on a DATE. Take off your Balck Panther coast and relax a little. Everything isn’t about black and white.

Simple Man!!!!

April 11th, 2011
10:13 am

heheheh…( In my Mark pretending to be Chuck D voice) “FIGHT THE POWER”!!! lolololol

AmazonRed™

April 11th, 2011
10:14 am

……..Bean pie, my brother!

:lol:

Before it gets hot in here…remember we all are entitled to our opinions/ preferences. Maybe we should all be so vocal about it…much easier to spot the ones to avoid! :lol:

kimmie

April 11th, 2011
10:19 am

remember we all are entitled to our opinions/ preferences.

Amred – You are right, and mark should remember that too when he spouts off about AA women. But yes, I’ve taken to ignoring posts like his.

Fion

April 11th, 2011
10:20 am

Someone mentioned this a few weeks back and I agree. There’s a huge difference dating women who are none American.
Far less dating bullsh.. to deal with.
My experience is that they don’t play games. By large they are straight shooters. I dated a Lebanese woman for 2yrs. Simply magnificent!

Leggs

April 11th, 2011
10:21 am

@SassyMe ~ did you get a chance to pluck that wild hair or did you smooth it out on your own (lol)?

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 11th, 2011
10:23 am

Fion — If you haven’t already, you gotta find yourself an Island Chica… They know how to put a :-D on your face…

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 11th, 2011
10:24 am

Leggs — Now you know Sassy ain’t gonna be able to type straight until at least Thursday or Friday…. Give ol’ girl some recovery time… :lol:

Simple Man!!!!

April 11th, 2011
10:27 am

LOL…Sassy might still be tied to the bed!!!

kimmie

April 11th, 2011
10:29 am

Fion – Why didn’t you marry her?

Letitia

April 11th, 2011
10:29 am

Dating outside the box means women or men outside of your culture, race, etc. NOT OUTSIDE YOUR MARRIAGE. If you’re married, please say in your box, please stay in your lane.

Letitia

April 11th, 2011
10:30 am

Oh, and if you’re married, you’re done dating.

SexyCool

April 11th, 2011
10:34 am

If she’s got to try that hard to meet a white dude, it’s probably not worth her time. Sounds like she’s not the kind of person that white dudes are attracted to. I’ve not ever had a problem attracting anybody that was attracted to me. Never had to go out of my way or place myself in special situations.

I would hate for your person to end up looking like the desperate black chick in the building.

Reggie

April 11th, 2011
10:35 am

@Letitia. If you’re married, you’re done dating, having sex, having an opinion and having a life. What’s you’re point?

Leggs

April 11th, 2011
10:40 am

@i’m swiss/SimpleM ~ FUNNY. Ok, wasn’t aware of the particulars.

@Letitia ~ I see you’re still gracing us with your presence.

Sassy Me...Exhaling :-)

April 11th, 2011
10:41 am

did you get a chance to pluck that wild hair or did you smooth it out on your own

Leggs umm…well….errr ahhh let’s just say I got it worked out.

Now you know Sassy ain’t gonna be able to type straight until at least Thursday or Friday….

I’m alright(feeling like I’ve been in the Olympics ) Swiss. Plus he’ll be here for another two weeks so you already know ;-)

kimmie

April 11th, 2011
10:41 am

I’ve not ever had a problem attracting anybody that was attracted to me. Never had to go out of my way or place myself in special situations.

SCool – Me either.

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 11th, 2011
10:42 am

“Ok, wasn’t aware of the particulars.”

Leggs — Yeah, uh, in particular, I believe Sassy was gonna get her back blown out this weekend… :lol:

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 11th, 2011
10:44 am

Oh wow, Sassy is here… How are managing to read this with your head bobbing up & down? :lol:

DFW D.C.

April 11th, 2011
10:45 am

people are people, a box should never exist, if the attraction is mutual, roll wit it

Simple Man!!!!

April 11th, 2011
10:51 am

Sooo…Sassy..You shopping for a headboard this week, or are you gonna wait til Ole boy is on his way back home??? :)

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 11th, 2011
10:51 am

“People are people so why should it be

You and I should get along so awfully?”

↑ If you can name the artist & song (without google), you probably already dated a whiteboy… :lol:

Letitia

April 11th, 2011
10:52 am

Hi Leggs. My husband is hanging out here. So I want to check out what he’s checking out.