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Better off friends?

So I asked my Guy Decoder for a little advice on how to handle a little dating situation. After spending time with a new guy, I realize we are definitely not romantically compatible, but I really would love to have him in my life – as a friend.

I know most men DESPISE the friend zone because it basically eliminates any possibility of bedroom action. The thing is, we really have the best time talking, laughing, and hanging out. We certainly could continue to spend time together, but I want to let him know that romance is not in our future.

I don’t think this guy is hopelessly in love with me or anything, so I still figure I could pull this off. I just wondered if it’s all or none, use me romantically or lose me as a friend. What do you guys think? Would it help if I fixed him up with a great girl?

Aren’t there situations where men are able to remain friends with a woman after being rejected romantically?

Ladies, have you ever been in this situation? How did you handle it?

Is it really mission impossible to parlay a great friendship with someone you once dated, but dumped?

When you find out you are better off friends, how do the dynamics change?  In a way, couldn’t you become closer without the pressure of a romantic relationship?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

191 comments Add your comment

CoolShadow

April 6th, 2011
7:49 am

Aren’t there situations where men are able to remain friends with a woman after being rejected romantically?

It’s possible, but problems ensue when women still attempt to extract boyfriend-like privileges from you while placing you in the dreaded friend zone. It can be tricky especially when you still have romantic feelings about her but she chooses to ignore or reject your intentions. Once she redefines those boundaries as the friend zone, you might have to remind her it works both ways when comes to limiting access because she only wants to be friends. Or you may just decide you can’t be friends at all.

Dan - Simply....Superior

April 6th, 2011
7:59 am

“extract boyfriend-like privileges from you”

The worst.

Simple Man!!!!

April 6th, 2011
8:23 am

Good Morning Fam!!!

I might have to endure a suspension of My Blog Guy privalages for this, but I don’t for the life of me see what the big deal about being in the friend zone???? I have tried but I don’t see what the big deal is. Contrary to how its presented, I don’t want too sleep with every lady I know the same way every women I meet does not want to sleep with me! ( As difficult as that is to believe):)

the watch dog

April 6th, 2011
8:28 am

That is a great question, I really like it. friendless and loveless, it does not get any better than that. Tooooooo many people put way too much priority on having love and friends. There is no need to have either, in fact, the happiest people are void of relationships except for the most transitory type.
Take a smelly, stinky panhandler, he is a happy guy, no relationships to impede his day, no responsiblities. He has the sun in the mornin and the moon at night, that is all he wants. He is a deliriously happy fella.
I know I am off the topic, but that is what comes to mind when I hear about having friends.

jw

April 6th, 2011
8:35 am

Since it’s obvious the two of you like each other and enjoy each other’s company – but you feel no spark, it’s better to talk about it now – since it’s early in the relationship – that way, IF you do come across someone that gives you that spark – he’s going to be more understanding. If you two are that close and happy, he probably isn’t going to mess it up over the lack of romance.

Problem is – how is this relationship going to continue when you two meet others that DO romantically give you the spark? In the long term, having an opposite as a BFF is not going to work – regardless of what anyone will post – sorry. There is too much jealousy from the “boyfriend” or “girlfriend” to keep that great relationship with the “friend” going. Plus, the “friend” and you will be jealous over one another’s significant other.

Sounds like you two are at that crucial point in the dating world – good luck. Not sure you get your cake and eat it too in this one. It’s going to take special people to keep it going as is. I do hope you two can continue to date and be friends.

Phil c

April 6th, 2011
8:39 am

“Homeless people are happy” ? What a sad and mistaken attitude, I don’t think anyone will be taking advice from you and if it was meant to be funny you won’t be getting that stand up gig anytime soon

I wonder...

April 6th, 2011
8:41 am

What, exactly, are boyfriend-like privileges?

MC Hammock

April 6th, 2011
8:43 am

Different strokes for different folks. Personally, I can be a “hanging out” friend with a woman, but nothing more then that. Don’t expect me to pay for your meals, movie tickets, etc. It wouldn’t be anything regular, either. If we hang out on a regular basis, it’s because I think that MAYBE we could “get together”….that there is a chance. But if nothing happens over a given length of time. I’m probably not interested. Maybe if you had some hot female friends, there would be that angle. Like it or not, it usually comes back to the romantic or sex factor with guys and girls being “friends”. Call it the law of nature, if you must.

If you’ve dated before, there is little chance of staying in the “friend” zone. Once the dating rejection takes place, time to move on to greener pastures. Just my two cents.

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

April 6th, 2011
8:49 am

Morning
I can hang out with a woman and not be romantically involved with her. I WON’T be doing things that her man should be doing though. That’s usually the problem.

knockoutblonde

April 6th, 2011
8:52 am

I have many male friends, but I think it’s much easier for a female to have male friends than it is for males to have female friends. I’m pretty sure that if I gave most of my male friends the green light, there would be a coupling. You really can feel that “hope” just hanging around at all times, constant lead ons and suggestive comments…not that I’m complaining. I love being around men much more than I like being around women for reasons that are a topic for another day. I just think that 90% of the time, whether it be in a friendship or casual scenario, women will always be the hunted (whether they know it or not) and men will always be the hunters. Some men are like hawks, just diving down as soon as a small animal is spotted and others are like wolves, tracking prey for days until they see an opening.

knockoutblonde

April 6th, 2011
8:53 am

Happy hump day, Dreams and MCH!

MC Hammock

April 6th, 2011
8:54 am

good morning and happy humping to you, KOB!

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

April 6th, 2011
9:07 am

Happy hump day, Dreams and MCH
Hey Knockout. I’m working on it. Hope you are too. ;-)

Purple Rain

April 6th, 2011
9:08 am

If it started off as a friendship with no romantic interest initially then grew to a spark but there was no flame lit. Sure you can be friends. But if his intentions were romantic at first I do not think that he will be a full friend, in the back of his mind he would always be thinking of a way to spark it up. I just don’t think that those feelings would die down because after the rejection…and that woman is still around the conquer part of the man will still be there. That will lead to trouble because even though he wanted a relationship first and you two decided it was not a good idea and just be friends…as soon as he slips up and “hits” he will be gone because his secondary objective has been accomplished. IMO So my answer is if the first contact was romantic in nature no you can’t be friends, but if you had some sort of familiarity before the romance attempt was made then yes you can revert to being good friends.

Purple Rain

April 6th, 2011
9:13 am

I don’t have to many female friends, don’t need them. I have a lot of females in my family..sisters, cousins and aunts. But I just don’t understand a guy who is always around women that he has no attraction to, just for the sake of hanging out…..Shopping, Watching Sex in the City, Real Housewives and just being there for them as a shoulder all of the time.

Yes She Is Cute

April 6th, 2011
9:18 am

Good morning everyone! I been there done that. Usually guys only stay friends in hopes that they will get out of the friends zone. Other than that they are like “I’m good on friends”. That’s what I’ve noticed. I even asked my boyfriend if we could be friends after a break up he was like no, the past is the past not holding on to it. Even though I don’t see it that way.

It’s just the nature of the beast :S

Dan - Simply....Superior

April 6th, 2011
9:19 am

KOB brings up the other point – d!ck in a box.

Yet another reason to not be involved in that “male/female friend” dynamic. I’m not around to give you some opposite sex attention to boost your self esteem; no, my female friends get treated just like my male friends do.

More insults than compliments. More @rsehole encouragement than the shoulder crying ‘you too good for him’ isht. Naw, shawty, I’m not hear to hold your hand through no breakup, as your male friend, I’m here to hit you off with reality.

“Maybe you should take a pole dancing class…stretch in the mornings, so you could do some freaky isht…”

Celisea

April 6th, 2011
9:22 am

Morning

Dreams – question for you…you say: I can hang out with a woman and not be romantically involved with her. I WON’T be doing things that her man should be doing though. That’s usually the problem

Problem for you or her?

Is it just me or am I reading/hearing the men say no way, can’t do…without the “possibility” hanging somewhere around??? Wow…lol
Well I for one could do, have done and currently am doing…”friends.” Let it be known though that it becomes a REALLY uncomfortable place when you can feel and tell dude is feeling you and you ain’t feeling him like that.

Yes She Is Cute

April 6th, 2011
9:23 am

@dreams what’s up with the “free me-lo”? is he banned?

Purple Rain

April 6th, 2011
9:25 am

What is even more odd is when you tell a woman “no”. Some of them never think that someone would not want to date them and would rather keep her as a friend. I went through that when I was single. I told he no there is something strange about you that I can’t put my hand on so I would rather not have you come over for dinner tomorrow. Now she and I had been out on about 2 dates before then. Her response was “Better delete my number, wouldn’t want her to find out” (she sent me that text after I told her verbally my feelings. All that did was tell me I made the right choice. LOL

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 6th, 2011
9:26 am

“Some men are like hawks, just diving down as soon as a small animal is spotted and others are like wolves, tracking prey for days until they see an opening.”

And some are like farmers: planting seed, patiently waiting & nurturing those seed until, one day, one little seed grows into a beautiful plant. Then we f__k the plant.

Morning folks. Oh, sports update: your boy swiss pulled out a 3-set win last night & is on to the league semifinals. :-D

Reggie

April 6th, 2011
9:26 am

I don’t think men can be REAL friends with an attractive woman, because he will always wonder what she looks like naked…lol. If she is on the low end of the food chain, then he won’t be REAL friends with her because if he’s SEEN with her, people will think they are dating and no man wants that. And Purple is right. Why would a man just hang out with a woman that he has no physical attraction for? Just find a few giys and you can drink beer, talk sports, look at T & A and tell our “completely made up” war stories of how we bagged that swim suit model back in 1992.

Dan - Simply....Superior

April 6th, 2011
9:29 am

@Cel

Men and women have different energies and outlooks on life (and confrontation techniques). It’s that way naturally.

Thus, when men and women are friends, as long as both understand that there are inherent conflicts (yes, sex is included in that) in how y’all are going to see things; then no problem.

Where the issue usually lies is a female expecting her male friend to act like her female friends.

“Why would you say something to hurt my feelings?”

Male: “I, didn’t; I told you the truth – it hurt your feelings.”

COME ON NOW

April 6th, 2011
9:29 am

I have 3 REALLY good guy friends who all had romantic intentions when we first met. I nipped it in the bud early on telling them there would never be anything, that we would be better off as friends. I’ve been friends with all three for over 12 years. We all happen to be mutual friends so we all hang out. I’m treated just like one of the guys. Just like Dan said, I get jokes cracked on me everyday, all day. They tell me when I’m being stupid when it comes to other guys. They basically don’t sugar coat anything. I LOVE our friendship. They are all in long-term relationships and I’m cool with each of their girlfriends. Sometimes I do enjoy hanging out with them more than my female friends simply because there is no drama. We don’t gossip, we just talk ish. When we go out we go dutch or we pay for our own stuff. There are no boyfriend-like privileges going on over here. I honestly think that my friendship with them is very rare because most people say it can’t be done. But we’ve made it work.

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 6th, 2011
9:29 am

“Maybe you should take a pole dancing class…stretch in the mornings, so you could do some freaky isht…”

Now that’s some good advice… :lol:

abc

April 6th, 2011
9:30 am

There is no such thing as strictly platonic male/female relationships. The possibility always exists, and it’s quite easy to act upon it. All you have to do is feel like it on some isolated, random date.

I suppose gay guys could be platonic friends with a chick.

Purple Rain

April 6th, 2011
9:34 am

Come On Now, all 3 guys liked you, you told them that there was nothing there but friendship and now you all are mutual friends for over 12 years. Try this experiment 1) Tell them seperately that you have romantic feelings or 2) Tell them you want sex with one of them or all of them. I bet you none of them will say “NO” to either scenario. LOL

abc, I think a gay guy would want a woman every know and then if he was around her all of the time. But I agree with your initial statement.

Purple Rain

April 6th, 2011
9:37 am

I’ve always considered a woman who says that they can not hang around other women or preffered to hanf around men all of the time odd. Then when they respond that women have to much drama and men do not that’s why they like to hang around guys…I then say men have been saying women have to much drama for years..but yet women say they don’t and it’s men who have drama..LOL

Dan - Simply....Superior

April 6th, 2011
9:37 am

@abc

I knew you would chime in and with that very line of logic.

Reggie’s right, if she’s attractive; we can be friends until…if she ain’t, we good until we in public; then you gotta walk ahead of me (j/k..bnr)

Though, I don’t recall saying “platonic.” Every female friend knows that I’m a threat to knock (see earlier post: energy, male). There are comments, looks, and they know better than to wear a “freak ‘um” dress around ya boy…..rarrr.

Once she signs up for a male/female friendship she takes the good with the bad.

abc

April 6th, 2011
9:41 am

For the guys: could you be good friends with a fat and ugly girl? Really, friends? If so, WHY?

I think answers to that pretty much details the topic.

Reggie

April 6th, 2011
9:42 am

Dan’s right. Man and women relate and feel on two different levels. Women REALLY don’t want to be treated like one of the guys because we are merciless with feelings, screw ups and poor decisions/judgement….and we are OK with that. Guys tell the honest to god truth, no sugar coating, this is the reality of the situation. If I had a nickel for every time my wife said that I could have said that in a more gentle way (even though I spelled it out straight forward), I would be a millionaire. Guys that show emotional “weakness”, the ability to get your feelings hurt easily or just get upset at the slightest off color comment, are either pounded FURTHER into submission or ostrocized from the group. That’s the way we relate. It’s part of our lifestyle. Women need a friend they can detail the emotional event, describe the hurt she felt when ________ happened and have someone that feels, thinks and needs in the same way that she does. Not that there’s anything WRONG with that. It just is. Men can be “the shoulder” only for a given length of time each day.

Dan - Simply....Superior

April 6th, 2011
9:43 am

@abc

Pretty women always have an ugly friend in the circle (see previous post: esteem, self). Why not get in good with old springboard?

Purple Rain

April 6th, 2011
9:44 am

abc, I would say no. Why, because I would have never taken the time to get to know her as a friend. That’s mean, I wonder if fat ugly women have friends besides Little Debbies.

Ladies, it’s best not to be friends with guys because the majority will f**k you if given the chance. LOL

Purple Rain

April 6th, 2011
9:46 am

Yep women keep an uglier woman around so that they feel better about themselves. I wonder who is thinking if she is the ugly chick in the group. LOL

Celisea

April 6th, 2011
9:46 am

Dan – Honestly I agree with your 9:29 and I get that…seriously I do. But help me out here, is there not one (not you per se) man that’s been able to set aside our obvious differences and truly be friends, removing the underlying want of getting or becoming physical? Have any of you ever had the opportunity and for the sake of keeping a really good friend passed? Surely someone has.

MC Hammock

April 6th, 2011
9:46 am

@abc. “Could I be friends with a fat and/or ugly girl?” Nope, Nyet, Nada, negative, absolutely not, ain’t gonna happen……..unless her friend was smoking hot…..

Fion

April 6th, 2011
9:46 am

“I just wondered if it’s all or none, use me romantically or lose me as a friend.”

Sometime it is all are none. For me I’ve met women and received that speech and told them straight up, “I don’t want to be yo friend, I have other things in mind for you.” Once those facts are on the table I K.I.M. I’m on to the next hunt.

“Would it help if I fixed him up with a great girl?”

Now, here’s the tricky part for you women. If he’s any kind of Man, he won’t need your help in getting a lady. He got your attention,”Right”!
If he stays in your circle of female friends and pulls one of your girl friends “Don’t Cock Block”and get all in the way. Go somewhere and sit down.
That’s the part most women have trouble with, for those that still aren’t clear, that’s the Cock Block and sit down part.

kimmie

April 6th, 2011
9:48 am

Morning All!

I’m kinda feeling Simple’s post and Dan’s 9:19. When I have had guy friends, they are not some pseudo boyfriend. They are buddies and I appreciate them for the no-holds barred male perspective they have to offer. Like my brothers. When we are out we go dutch, like I do with my female friends and coworkers and actual brothers.

It does get sticky if someone catches feelings or gets into a romantic relationship with someone. That’s why these type of “friendships” don’t usually work very long, at least with the hanging out part. Plus, folks just get busy with the process of living life. Work, raising kids, family, etc. I barely have time to hang out with my female friends anymore. Just too busy.

Simple Man!!!!

April 6th, 2011
9:50 am

OK…. I am really amazed…. What are we still 20????

COME ON NOW

April 6th, 2011
9:50 am

Purple- I’m sure if I ever tried your little experiment that they might pounce on the idea. But I’m not going to just to prove a point. I know that if you give most people and inch they’ll take a mile. Like I said, my friendship with them is rare, the exception and NOT the norm. I’ve set boundaries with them that there will NEVER be anything romantic between us and they set boundaries with me. The boundary being that I will be treated like ONE OF THE GUYS. We’ve all accepted the terms. But I’ve never dated any of them so maybe if I had it wouldn’t be the same dynamic.

COME ON NOW

April 6th, 2011
9:53 am

Purple- I don’t see how you can call someone “odd” who SOMETIMES prefers to hang out with their male friends. There is a different dynamic that I have with both sets of friends. But to say someone is odd is kind of crazy to me

Dan - Simply....Superior

April 6th, 2011
9:53 am

@Cel

The two things aren’t mutually exclusive: sex and friendship. Especially in light of the male/female dynamic.

What usually happens is the woman can’t take that he will knock, and she decides to move on (see WD’s post – that’s her underlying concern). For the guy, he can stay around, doesn’t have to change, see other women and still knock when the opportunity arises (Swiss @9:26).

And go back to being friends in the morning.

Purple Rain

April 6th, 2011
9:53 am

Men set clear lines that’s why you don’t hear us whining to much about “I don’t know what she wants” when we talk about women.

“..if i’m not your lover…if i’m not your friend…tell me baaabayy just what iiiiiiiiiii ammmmmmmmm” lol

Purple Rain

April 6th, 2011
9:55 am

It’s odd not to be able to get along with your own kind….that is crazy and odd to me. And boundaries are ment to be broken, why do you think they are there in the first place. LOL

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

April 6th, 2011
9:55 am

Problem for you or her?
Celisea Not a problem for me because I just won’t be available to do boyfriend type stuff. It’s usually a problem for the woman because she’s usually (not all the time) trying to have her cake and eat it too. If you want me to do the things your guy should be doing, then X your guy and let’s make us official. Can’t have it all.

dreams what’s up with the “free me-lo”? is he banned?
Yes Seems so. You can’t even type his name properly without having your post filtered. Btw, good to see read ya. Haven’t seen you on too much lately.

Purple Rain

April 6th, 2011
9:56 am

Swiss, Congrats on the wins!

abc

April 6th, 2011
9:56 am

I’ve always found that the chicks who claim to prefer platonic male friends to chicks, on account of all the drama, etc., are the biggest slamhounds around. Guys accommodate them for a reason.

Simple Man!!!!

April 6th, 2011
9:56 am

Damn…The first ever Al B Sure! reference on the blog!!! LOL

Purple Rain

April 6th, 2011
9:57 am

And there is a fineline between boyfriend stuff and just being a man stuff.

Purple Rain

April 6th, 2011
9:58 am

Simple Man I thought Ready for The World sang that song. LOL

abc, I am so trying not to go there but I think you are reading my mind..

Dan - Simply....Superior

April 6th, 2011
10:00 am

@Swiss

FOrgot to say congrats..

Celisea

April 6th, 2011
10:00 am

I suppose gay guys could be platonic friends with a chick.

Nevermind my question…lol

Purple Rain

April 6th, 2011
10:03 am

Guys could you have a true female friend that’s a lesbian? Not to get close to her lesbian friends but if she was a manly lesbian could you be her friend?

COME ON NOW

April 6th, 2011
10:04 am

Purple-Never said I didn’t get along with my female friends. We are VERY close. I said SOMETIMES I prefer to hang out with my male friends. Anyway, my point is that I have been able to maintain a platonic relatioship with my male friends. I believe it can be done. Is it the norm? No. But it CAN happen. If you don’t believe it can happen then keep doing you and I’ll be over here enjoying having male friends in my life

Celisea

April 6th, 2011
10:05 am

Alright Dan/Dreams.

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

April 6th, 2011
10:07 am

Have any of you ever had the opportunity and for the sake of keeping a really good friend passed? Surely someone has.
Celisea I’ve passed on sex numerous times, as I’m sure most guys have. Sometimes, the potential fallout just isn’t worth it, so you take the high road. As a man I have principles, and I can choose to honor those principles over the random f$%ck. I have done and probably will do in the future. Of couse, I wouldn’t say any of those women are really my friends. We’re still cordial, and I might have lunch with them if they’re in town or something, call them a time or two during the year to check on them, but that’s about it.

abc

April 6th, 2011
10:08 am

I only have 1 lesbian friend — I don’t meet that many, I guess — is smokin hot. She’d do me to get to the only so-called platonic female friend I have, who is also smokin hot.

I try to avoid them, frankly. I don’t need that kind of temptation.

Purple Rain

April 6th, 2011
10:08 am

Come On Now, why are you taking it personal. I have no bearing on what goes on in your life. Enjoy your mail friends, no need to TYPE with so much EMPHASIS.

MC Hammock

April 6th, 2011
10:08 am

Purple, Nope…no interest in being friends with a manly lesbian. I’ll be NICE to ger, but no hanging out or friendship stuff. If she was a HOT lesbian……

Purple Rain

April 6th, 2011
10:10 am

Random sex is over rated, it is very rarely hands free

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 6th, 2011
10:11 am

abc — That sounds like a good plot for a p0rno….

Simple Man!!!!

April 6th, 2011
10:12 am

Fellas, have any of you ever been out with your boys, say playing a round of golf, and one person in the group picked up the round for everybody???

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 6th, 2011
10:13 am

Purple Rain

April 6th, 2011
10:14 am

Simple Man, no we usually pay when we get there or if someone is late whomever was ther first would just pay but the money is paid back when they arrive or at the bar afterwards. But just taking a friend golfing and me paying out of the blue. Nope has not happened.

Celisea

April 6th, 2011
10:14 am

I’m not a slamhog and actually I prefer hanging with my male friends over my female friends. With men you can be yourself, no faking, fronting, great advice…all of it. And a couple that will “spring” for meals…I kid I kid.

Purple Rain

April 6th, 2011
10:15 am

Swiss is good at hitting balls!

Purple Rain

April 6th, 2011
10:16 am

Not saying you are a slamhog but will a slamhog ever admit to being a slamhog?

Fion

April 6th, 2011
10:16 am

Ladies, ladies, ladies, please get it straight. If i’m tryin’ to “Pluck ya” you ain’t my friend.
You are a chick I’m tryin to ‘Pluck”.
Choochie I’m indifferent about, that’s choochie ‘i’ll take if you throw it at me, but I ain’t pursuing,
yeah we can be friends.
For you Girls you get the standard issued card that reads:

(”Break glass and Pull rope in case of Emergency”)

Celisea

April 6th, 2011
10:17 am

Dreams – Your 10:07…yep that about sums it up. So really and for hte most part, the answer is no.

COME ON NOW

April 6th, 2011
10:19 am

Purple-Not taking it personally at all. It just seemed that you implied that I don’t get along with my female friends and I never said that in any of my posts so I was just reiterating that point. I understand you have your opinion so that’s why I said do you. And I pretty much always type with EMPHASIS so I’m not singling you at by any means.

Celisea

April 6th, 2011
10:19 am

PR – Not saying you are a slamhog but will a slamhog ever admit to being a slamhog?

You’d have to ask a slamhog.

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 6th, 2011
10:20 am

:lol: @ PurplePounding them, actually…

Purple Rain

April 6th, 2011
10:21 am

I was taking what you said and expounding on it not singling you out. Hey do you want to be friends? LOL

Simple Man!!!!

April 6th, 2011
10:21 am

Purp….Thats cool. for you guys I guess, but for me and my buddies, its not that big a deal for the first person there to pick up the whole foursome…I guess it works for us cause the same guy is not stuck paying all the time, and Nobody feels like they are getting hosed in the process….

Purple Rain

April 6th, 2011
10:21 am

Celisea, I would only know the slamhogginess after the fact. LOL

Purple Rain

April 6th, 2011
10:22 am

Simple, when I was in Atlanta I only had one golf buddy who was constant otherwise the group was random. If he was not there I would pay for him but that usually meant he was picking up the beer, wine and water. So it all even out.

Celisea

April 6th, 2011
10:23 am

PR – Celisea, I would only know the slamhogginess after the fact. LOL

Then you should be able to answer the question yourself…according to some of what you’ve posted (that you’ve done).

Celisea

April 6th, 2011
10:23 am

Gotta work….be back later

Da_Man!

April 6th, 2011
10:24 am

I don’t think men should have a problem with being in the friend zone. At the very best, you have a lifelong dear friend. At the very least, she may hit a drought & give you some “what the heck!!!” action.

Reio

April 6th, 2011
10:25 am

No. Can Not Be Done. Be Done. Unless you get busy every now and then, he’ll just slowly fade away. Sorry.

Ron Jeremy

April 6th, 2011
10:25 am

There are female “friends” and female “friends with benefits”. Problem is, I want to pluck them all, truth be told….

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

April 6th, 2011
10:25 am

Fellas, have any of you ever been out with your boys, say playing a round of golf, and one person in the group picked up the round for everybody???
Simple Not in reference to golf, but there have been other times that I have picked up the tab for the group. No problem. They’re my friends, and I know that over the course of our friendship, the things I do for them are balanced by the the things they do for me. If that’s not the case then I need to reevaluate my “friendships.” I know the analogy you’re trying to make, but it’s just usually NOT the case with women “friends” because that same balance often isn’t there.

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

April 6th, 2011
10:29 am

PR – Not saying you are a slamhog but will a slamhog ever admit to being a slamhog?

You’d have to ask a slamhog.
This is funny, kinda like a riddle. If you have to ask a slamhog to know a slamhog, but a true slamhog will never tell you, then can can you ever know who’s a slamhog? lol

Reio

April 6th, 2011
10:31 am

Whats a slamhog?

Simple Man!!!!

April 6th, 2011
10:31 am

Dreams… There we go…As long as there is a balance, then its all good… I have ladies that I consider my friends, and its nothing for us to be out and for one of them to get the tab…Same thing holds true for me…to paraphrase what you said, when there is not balance there needs to be a re-evaluation of the friendship whether we are talking Men or women….

kimmie

April 6th, 2011
10:32 am

I appreciate all the guy friends I’ve had, including some wonderful gay guy friends. Most I have lost touch with. As I stated before, life happens, things change. It’s okay.

I really treasure my good female friends. There are 3 from college and one I met at work about 15 years ago. The 4 of them are like sisters to me. We’ve been there for each other thru boyfriends, marriages, babies, divorces, death. All 4 will be at my wedding. I can always count on them to be honest with me. We let our hair down around each other. We are not catty with each other, no jealousy. You don’t have much choice with who is blood. They are like family and I chose them. I chose my friends very carefully, like I chose my fiance’. The men in my life have always liked them.

Would not trade them for the world.

Jenna Jameson

April 6th, 2011
10:33 am

Can we all just get along and badonk until we can’t walk straight? Is that too much to ask? We can be friends afterwards….I promise.

Lisa Ann

April 6th, 2011
10:36 am

I’m very good friends with all of my son’s high school buddies. They wash my car, clean my pool, trim my hedge….

Reio

April 6th, 2011
10:36 am

Kimmie, your fiance’ chose you, not the other way around.

Celisea

April 6th, 2011
10:36 am

One last post for now….I have to agree with I have ladies that I consider my friends, and its nothing for us to be out and for one of them to get the tab

I have a few male friends but seriously only one where we’re tight like this. It’s nothing for me to pay sometimes and him to pay sometimes but if he calls several times in one week asking what’s for lunch, ummm he knows the drill, he’s paying :) :) :) It ain’t even a convo around that…he might joke and say that’s 5 to your 1 but we’re cool like that.

kimmie

April 6th, 2011
10:39 am

and its nothing for us to be out and for one of them to get the tab…Same thing holds true for me

Simple – While me & my friends mostly go dutch, occasionally one will grab the tab for all. No big deal. You are right, there has to be a balance there though. I think where the issues come in is when we are suppose to be platonic friends, yet I EXPECT you to pick up the tab like we are on a date and you are my man.

kimmie

April 6th, 2011
10:40 am

Reio – How about we chose each other, k?

Idealist

April 6th, 2011
10:40 am

New Guy here. I often peak in on the blog to get a feel of what it is like to be “Single in Atlanta.” But decided to chime in on today’s topic. In reading all of the entries here, it really appears mutually agreed upon that men and women cannot have meaningful relationships (friends) outside of having each other. If such is the case, then we all are doomed to go from one relationship to the next making friends, then lovers and starting all over again. Then this also makes the concepts of marriage/significant other obsolete because at some point during the course of your life you will inevitably meet someone that you want to be in your life from that point forward. If we cannot figure out how to have and manage meaningful male/female friendships then marriage is a life sentence of solitary confinement.

Reio

April 6th, 2011
10:42 am

kimmie

April 6th, 2011
10:43 am

Some people are just in your life for a season, whether they are friends, lovers, spouses, etc.

That’s life.

Reio

April 6th, 2011
10:45 am

Idealist, Marriage/significant other implies intimacy, so I do’nt understand your point in this context.

Lana

April 6th, 2011
10:46 am

Idealist, what makes you think marriage isn’t already solitary confinement? Recent poll on CNN said that 83% or men and women consider their marriage “less than happy”. I say stay single, have relationships and when things take a bad turn or the partner changes for the worse, you can pick up and move on without the lawyers or money/property changing hands. Getting married is whack.

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 6th, 2011
10:48 am

Idealist — Um, you totally lost me there, bro.

1) How would having no male/female friendships make marriage obsolete, exactly?

2) Why would being married = solitary confinement without male/female friendships?

abc

April 6th, 2011
10:48 am

Marriage is not “a life sentence of solitary confinement”. If you feel that way about your marriage, you married the wrong person. And, spouses are not for a season. You make a covenant with God and the person you marry that binds you for life, else you’ve only made a legal arrangement.

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

April 6th, 2011
10:49 am

Idealist I’m not sure I understand what you’re getting at. Can you elaborate?

Reio

April 6th, 2011
10:50 am

Lana, Marriage is for child rearing. Biological or adoptive. Marriage is the best arraingement for this.

Purple Rain

April 6th, 2011
10:51 am

Properly vet, then marry the right person and don’t be afraid to stick it out and face the challenges. You determine if you are in the percentile of happy or sad marriages.

Anticoli

April 6th, 2011
10:52 am

I agree with kimmie, some people…heck MOST people are in your life for a season, few years and then people or things change. I prefer to have a very loving, respectful and intimate relationship without getting married for that reason. Life is too short to confine yourself or shackle yourself to one person for your entire life. I have many, many friends both male and female. Conditions change, some for the better and others not so much. I keep the ones that I treasure and discard the ones that aren’t. Live and learn life’s lessons. Some stay friends, others move forward or backwards. Relationships either move forward or backwards. They never stand still.

Purple Rain

April 6th, 2011
10:58 am

I chose to be married because I found the person I want to be with for life! I know I have the best for me.

kimmie

April 6th, 2011
11:02 am

Correction – I didn’t mean a spouse is in your life for a season. They could be, but it isn’t supposed to be that way. My bad.

But looking back on my life, I’ve run across many amazing people. Some I’ve lost touch with, changed jobs so I don’t see them anymore, broken up with, some have died. Some just kind of naturally fall by the wayside with the busyness that is life. You are “doomed” and shouldn’t fall to pieces when these natural occurances of life happen.

kimmie

April 6th, 2011
11:03 am

aren’t doomed – Okay my fingers are working faster than my brain today!

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit :-)

April 6th, 2011
11:08 am

I suppose gay guys could be platonic friends with a chick.

I have several and I love it…they also help me decipher who is on the D.L. and that’s critical now-a-days…

The other male friends I’ve had(around my age) at some point have tried to hit on me so I had to distance myself. The other male friend I have is like my grandaddy’s age and we’ve been cool for the past 13 years and he’s never tried me.

Fantasy Land

April 6th, 2011
11:11 am

Men and women just being friends?

I have alot of female friends they are my sister, aunts, and cousins. Its funny how women of today always want to have their cake and eat it too. The only reason that wonderful guy who has it all is displaying all of his wonderful attributes is because he wants to be with you, SCREW YOU or USE YOU, there is no in between (if he is in between any of that he is GAY) and that is being honest ladies, from a MAN!!!

The man who hangs around for no reason other than being a friends is C@ckblocking the man who is in the position to be with that women or in the transition of making that move.

Ladies with male freinds ask your man friend if he could have sex with you would he and im pretty sure you would get a 100% yes, with no questions asked. Please stop fooling yourself into actually thinking a man just wants to be just your friend.

C’MON SON!!!

kimmie

April 6th, 2011
11:12 am

My fiance’s older sister is looking for a place to go listen to some music or have a drink and sit and talk with her BF that’s in town. Any suggestions, Gang?

Fion

April 6th, 2011
11:21 am

Kimmie, I won’t charge you for this one.

Try the InterContinental Hotel Lobby in Buckhead. They used to do live music through
the week there.

Simple Man!!!!

April 6th, 2011
11:23 am

kimmie, The Intercontinental In Buckhead has Great live Jazz Thursday thru Sunday in the Piano lounge… Great food and a wonderful vibe for just chillin, catching up or whatever…

kimmie

April 6th, 2011
11:24 am

Fion & Simple – Thank you so much! I knew you guys could help a sister out! :)

Celisea

April 6th, 2011
11:24 am

Fantasy Land – You okay? You vented just a bit there huh? Somebody in your way…lol

Simple Man!!!!

April 6th, 2011
11:27 am

Fantasy Land, sounds like your game might not have been strong enough to get past theat dude that was just kicking it with that girl you were tryin to holla at…LOL!!! Step it Up Bruh!!! You will get it next time!!!

Fion

April 6th, 2011
11:28 am

Celisea, Leave Fantasy alone. I read that sh>> twice. he’s on that Charlie Sheen!!!!!

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 6th, 2011
11:31 am

And while you’re at the Intercontinental, stop in at Au Pied de Cochon for some tasty escargot…

Fion

April 6th, 2011
11:34 am

Swiss are they still doing the late night menu. 2am action????

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 6th, 2011
11:36 am

It’s been a while since I’ve been there, but I believe they used to be open 24/7

kimmie

April 6th, 2011
11:37 am

Swiss – Just went on the website – they are 24/7 – thanks!

Celisea

April 6th, 2011
11:37 am

Fion – Celisea, Leave Fantasy alone. I read that sh>> twice. he’s on that Charlie Sheen!!!!!

It’s apparent ain’t it. Fantasy do your thing, tell ole girl where you want to go and replace her BFF. You’ll become all of those wonderful things that he is to her :)

Fion

April 6th, 2011
11:38 am

Right, right.
Then they went to late night and stopped serving at 4am. It’s been a minute since I went thorugh, but I got to put that one back in play this Spring and summer.

Fion

April 6th, 2011
11:40 am

Cool, cool. didn’t see kimmie’s post.

Fantasy Land

April 6th, 2011
11:46 am

Im good I love’ em and leave’em thats for the haters and the confused cats who disrespect the game!

Simple Man!!!!

April 6th, 2011
11:49 am

Yup..all of them ‘cept oh girl that buddy kicking it wit!!! lol

Celisea

April 6th, 2011
11:54 am

Fantasy Land – Im good I love’ em and leave’em thats for the haters and the confused cats who disrespect the game!

That ain’t what your post said. Cut it out, we’re fam here…you can vent and let it out…lol Just kidding

Fantasy Land

April 6th, 2011
11:55 am

Yo girl over here right now, lame!!!!

Purple Rain

April 6th, 2011
12:08 pm

Someone is on Spring Break. LOL

Purple Rain

April 6th, 2011
12:08 pm

and playing on the internetz

Simple Man!!!!

April 6th, 2011
12:16 pm

OK Fantasy….The afternoon Cash 3 just played…Why don’t you be a good boy and go back into the basement so mommy can check her numbers….

Fantasy land

April 6th, 2011
12:38 pm

Simple man, I would like to apologize I didn’t read your earlier statements before I commented. I can see now that your a woman trapped in a mans body and no matter how many times you fix your makeup and get your eyebrows arched you are still a boy, Damon!!!

MC Hammock

April 6th, 2011
12:39 pm

OK, just had my fifteen minutes of fame just now…in my eyes, anyway.

MC Hammock

April 6th, 2011
12:44 pm

I was just at the gym for my lunch hour, chick (who shall remain nameless) is in her upper 40’s, hard body, great rack, not gorgeous in the face, but pretty. I joke with her when I go at this time….she is talking and an ear phone “drops” from her hand and….wait for it….right into her cleavage. I play around and joke “Will you stop teasing me?” and ended it with a laugh. She smiles and says “Is it working?” and keeps staring at me. I just laugh it off and then she asks me again. I don’t know how to respond, so I laugh again and walk away to the next machine.

People that doesn’t happen to me…..not at this age. Whether she was hitting on me or not…in my own private world…she was. Let me live in my fantasy world, OK? LMAO

MC Hammock

April 6th, 2011
12:45 pm

In case any newbies are here…yes, I’m married and ain’t interested in getting a divorce….lol

kimmie

April 6th, 2011
12:46 pm

MC – Looks like you still got it! :)

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit :-)

April 6th, 2011
12:47 pm

Geeze MC you don’t look like the elephant man do you? You seem rather perplexed that this happened…take it as is but if she does that again then she just might be interested in “working out” with you… I’m jus sayin…

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit :-)

April 6th, 2011
12:49 pm

Oh okay I’m far from a newbie but I didn’t know you were married MC so please disregard my earlier comment por favor…gracias.

Celisea

April 6th, 2011
12:51 pm

MC Hammock – May I ask…how old are you? I thought early forties…maybe

Celisea

April 6th, 2011
12:51 pm

And I would tell you to go ahead and work that but you’re married so nevermind.

Simple Man!!!!

April 6th, 2011
12:52 pm

MC….Yeah, she is now in play!! Smile puff your chest out a bit and K.I.M… Go home and kiss the misses…Knowing you still got it!!!

Fion

April 6th, 2011
1:10 pm

MCH, you married right????? cause if you ain’t, Clean out yo locker!!!!

Purple Rain

April 6th, 2011
1:15 pm

MC that was an ego boost enjoy the moment now stay far far away from her. A determined woman is hell to fight off.

Purple Rain

April 6th, 2011
1:50 pm

It got quiet

cba

April 6th, 2011
1:50 pm

There is a God…….Fox is cutting ties with Glen Beck (GTFOH!!!)

Simple Man!!!!

April 6th, 2011
1:53 pm

cba…he finally jumped the shark huh???

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

April 6th, 2011
1:55 pm

Whew it’s so nice out there. I didn’t want to come back in. I see it got kinda slow in here though. You all are going to have to pick up the pace though because I’m depending on you to keep me from nodding while this code runs. lol

Purple Rain

April 6th, 2011
2:04 pm

Give me some fuel on here and I will make the most of it. LOL

MC Hammock

April 6th, 2011
2:07 pm

Sorry, just got out of a meeting. Celises, I’m 47, but I get mistaken for my upper 30’s all the time.

cba

April 6th, 2011
2:07 pm

Dreams, if I’m not mistaken, you have a degree in math. The topic on yesterday’s blog, Get Schooled, was about whether or not algebra II should still be taught in high school. Quite interesting.
My response was, what do you think the Chinese are doing??
I saw a stat yesterday where 200 million Chinese students are learning english and 50,000 american students are learning chinese.

MC Hammock

April 6th, 2011
2:09 pm

Yeah, it’s not like I wanted to make a kill, but’s it’s nice knowing I could still hunt if I wanted to. OK, back to reality and this %$#@@&*$ sales report…..*sigh

MC Hammock

April 6th, 2011
2:11 pm

I’m more of a Libertarian with a Conservative slant, but that Glenn Beck is as embarrasing for the GOP and Keith Oberman is for the Dems. Glad he’s gone!

Fion

April 6th, 2011
2:15 pm

Ya know MCH “Conservative slant’, that’s a Code phrase. Unpack that for me?

Celisea

April 6th, 2011
2:15 pm

I’m so freaking frustrated right about now. Freaking clients and all the crap they want and all the legal hoops I gotta hop through to get it done….I’on take the Lord’s name in vain but Jesus Christ!!!! Fa real. I wish I was old enough to retire and become a greeter at WalMart on days like this…don’t judge me…. I’ve been sent in circles since freaking Friday on this same matter and all the legalities that’s blocking me. All she can say is we did it before well hell that’s why the process and stuff is so stringent now cause you’ve bossed folks around got ‘em doing stuff all wrong so now I gotta conquer freaking Mt. Everest to get this accomplished. THAT’S JUST ONE THING ON MY PLATE FROM HER!!!!

woosah woosah….Where’s Dr. Spock that was on here yesterday?? I don’t believe in mental therapists (that’s for another day) but I feel like I need the couch right about now…

woosah woosah

kimmie

April 6th, 2011
2:26 pm

MC – I don’t see how either can really be much of an “embarrasment” to the political parties because neither are elected officials. They are not, in my opinion, even really serious journalists. They are more entertainers, especially Beck.

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

April 6th, 2011
2:27 pm

Get Schooled, was about whether or not algebra II should still be taught in high school.
cba They’re retarded if they want to take that out of school. 5th graders can learn algebra with the right preparation. The problem with lots of kids and math is that they never mastered the fundamentals (this is really the parents fault). My daughter is 5, and she can add and subtract from memory. Parents aren’t challenging their children to excel. The Chinese are though, just as you stated. Amy Chua wrote an article in the Wall Street Journal about the differences in Asian parenting models and the prevailing western models. I don’t see eye to eye with everything she says, but I agree with her overall assessment. We coddle our kids too much and let them think that mediocrity is ok as long as they “tried their best.” Kids don’t know what their best is, which is why it’s up to us as parents to push them. There’s no feeling like the satisfaction of having accomplished something you never thought you could. We are dooming our kids if we think that less math is the solution.

Simple Man!!!!

April 6th, 2011
2:27 pm

Damn… All I have to wory about is a small theft problem…..1 call to corporate security and one to Gwinnett Co. and I will be all better!!1 :)

Simple Man!!!!

April 6th, 2011
2:29 pm

All Jokes aside…I am thinking about running for the house seat held by Hank Johnson next year…..

cba

April 6th, 2011
2:31 pm

Celisea, take a deep breath and think about the people down at the unemployment office.

Fion, @ 2:15 I’m with you on code. When I hear libertarian, I think Boortz and all his BS.

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

April 6th, 2011
2:32 pm

They are not, in my opinion, even really serious journalists. They are more entertainers, especially Beck.
kimmie but you see that elected officials hardly ever reprimand them for the things they say. Both parties know that these types of characters have huge followings, and they don’t want to alienate large portions of their potential votes by chastising these “entertainers.” Besides, I think that many of the elected officials actually agree with what’s being said, but can’t publicly say so, so they let someone else do it for them.

Fion

April 6th, 2011
2:40 pm

@ cba

hold on, Celisea didn’t say she was going to dislodge 4 or 5 rounds into the ceiling, she’s just a little upset.
………..pisss you did leave the ‘9′ at home today right Mommie?

cba

April 6th, 2011
2:42 pm

One of the posts to the algebra II topic was, if you want to be one of the 50,000 that mac donald is hiring, algebra II not necessary. But, if you want to write some of their software programs, algebra has an advantage.

Celisea

April 6th, 2011
2:50 pm

cba/Fion – LOLOL…I’m good and nope not packing…today I’m just saying folks make me sick sometimes. You can get so much more accomplished working together rather than pulling in the opposite direction. But cba is right. Too many folks need jobs. Now that that’s off my chest I’m going to skip through the rest of my day.

kimmie

April 6th, 2011
2:55 pm

Dreams – You are right. I just had to stop getting in an uproar every time one of these actors says something. I focus like a laser beam on what the actual official is doing & saying. That’s who I vote for. If that official acts like he/she goes along with the madness, well I know who I’m voting for or not.

Like when I was watching the network morning shows after the Libya bombing. I turned on ABC and they were asking Palin about the decision. She’s not an elected official! She’s not even a military or foreign affairs authority. I immediately changed channels to NBC and they were talking to a senator who was on some foreign affairs committee. He had credibility. Her, not a shred, at least not to me.

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

April 6th, 2011
2:55 pm

if you want to be one of the 50,000 that mac donald is hiring, algebra II not necessary.
cba I think this is one of the main areas where math is misunderstood. People always complain “where am I going to use this in real life?”, but they don’t understand that math is so much more comprehensive than its direct applications. Math, at its foundation, is based on proofs, which are based on logic. Everyone THINKS they know how to think logically, but the truth is that very few do. I see it everyday, at work and in my daily interactions with people. People making choices that don’t make any logical sense. Understanding math allows you to break a problem down and find the optimal solution. I know everyone thinks they can already do this, but I see the fallout from poor logic everyday, in corporate america, in politics, in religion, in dating.

Dan - Simply....Superior

April 6th, 2011
2:56 pm

@cba

Math is good for life.

The higher in your studies, the more theoretical, but math teaches you how to think. It also teaches you the process for evaluation.

Those that shun math, risk more than pushing fries; the risk the opportunity of franchising those most profitable of chain’s.

kimmie

April 6th, 2011
3:00 pm

Dreams – You are right about 5th grades because my soon-to-be 5th grade son is learning algebra.

You are so right about the coddling and the acceptance of mediocrity today! We can dumb down everything if we want to. The world is passing us by.

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 6th, 2011
3:00 pm

cba / Dreams — That whole algebra 2 or no debate is just a symptom of a much bigger issue: Our whole society is being steadily “dumbed-down.” Ignorance is not only accepted; it’s admired by some (cough, cough, right-wingers, I’m looking at you). We need higher educational standards in all disciplines, not necessarily because it will directly relate to a future vocation (an education != trade school), but because it’s better to be an educated member of society than an uneducated blow-hard.

kimmie

April 6th, 2011
3:02 pm

Dreams – Correction – soon-to-be son who happens to be in 5th grade. He is learning algebra!

MC Hammock

April 6th, 2011
3:02 pm

I remember algebra. It’s formula’s like 38-24-36…..I think there’s a C or a D in there somewhere…..or something like that…..memory’s kinda foggy now….

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 6th, 2011
3:03 pm

“I was watching the network morning shows after the Libya bombing. I turned on ABC and they were asking Palin about the decision. “

They should have asked her to find Libya on a map.

kimmie

April 6th, 2011
3:06 pm

Swiss – It is just a complete insult to everyones intelligence that the media asks her opinion on anything of importance! I bet Kim Kardishian probably would be more knowledgable!LOL!!

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

April 6th, 2011
3:07 pm

He had credibility. Her, not a shred, at least not to me.
kimmie Here’s the politician’s dilemma though. Probably 95% of the American population is critically uninformed about domestic AND international events. They have absolutely no clue what issues a politician is really dealing with or what it takes for them to address the challenges before them. There might be 1000 factors influencing an official’s decision to be in Libya or not (for example), and even the most informed citizen probably only knows 10 of the 1000. So, how do you convince your constituency that you’re doing what’s best for them without overwhelming them with a bunch of information they surely wouldn’t understand? Easy, let some “entertainer” with a connection to the people blast your message based on superficial (sometimes even untrue) talking points that the people can relate to. Fear is probably the #1 talking point.

cba

April 6th, 2011
3:08 pm

Dreams/Dan, there were quite a few posts along your line of thinking. I agree 100% with the logical and analytical thinking. The downside is my wife will often say ” so you think you have it all figured out”. Yep!! and here’s why :-)

kimmie

April 6th, 2011
3:12 pm

Dreams – Once when son was complaining about his math homework, I sat down with a calculator with him. I calculated with him the wages of your average burger-flipper at about $6 per hour. Then I calculated the average wages of say, a pharmacist, at about $40 per hour. I asked him which salary would he prefer, taking into account his lifestyle that he’s become accustomed to – the latest video games and flat-screens to play them on, nice home in a nice neighborhood, nice clothes, good food.

It made it all clear to him. Whenever he starts up, I just mention that McDonalds is usually always hiring or he could try Wendy’s if he really wants to get fancy.

It always gets his attention! :)

Dan - Simply....Superior

April 6th, 2011
3:12 pm

@cba

You can show her and then say “Q.E.D.” then walk off for effect

kimmie

April 6th, 2011
3:14 pm

Dreams – As usual, right on point, especially about the misinformed public.

I can’t be a party to it, though.

Dan - Simply....Superior

April 6th, 2011
3:18 pm

@Dreams

Or you just keep going on different shows using the same catchphrases, no matter the question.

(see also, War, Iraq and cloud, mushroom)

How are you today Mr. SecDef? Mushroom Cloud.

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 6th, 2011
3:20 pm

Dreams — So true. And the even bigger problem is that too many of the public don’t want to be truly informed. They don’t like it when someone actually tries to spell out all the complexities of an issue; they feel they’re being “talked down to.” Well, duh. If you don’t want to be talked down to, how about raising your own level of understanding. We shouldn’t have to pander to the dumbest muff@#kers lowest common denominator…

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

April 6th, 2011
3:21 pm

kimmie If your child is failing at any point in elementary school, it’s YOUR fault, barring a legitimate learning disability of course. There’s no reason a child isn’t getting 100% on a spelling test every week. It’s just memorization!

That whole algebra 2 or no debate is just a symptom of a much bigger issue: Our whole society is being steadily “dumbed-down.”
swiss This is true. It isn’t ugent though because a select few benefit from this type of socioeconomic arrangement. The dumber the masses, the higher the concentration of wealth is at the top 3%.

The downside is my wife will often say ” so you think you have it all figured out”.
cba Actually, this is a good example of what I mean. lol Being able to think analytically doesn’t mean you will always be right. Your decsion (conclusion) is only as good as the information (premises) you have available to you to make your decision.

Dan - Simply....Superior

April 6th, 2011
3:23 pm

@Swiss

Acceptance is the final stage of grief.

Accept that 90% of the people you talk to are morons, cherish that 10%, and KIM bro.

Acceptance is really less stress than trying to convince a rock to drink.

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 6th, 2011
3:23 pm

Dreams — Bingo.

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

April 6th, 2011
3:24 pm

You guys can check out this WSJ article.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704111504576059713528698754.html

We shouldn’t have to pander to the dumbest muff@#kers lowest common denominator…
swisss well this takes us right back to education doesn’t it? lol

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 6th, 2011
3:27 pm

“Acceptance is the final stage of grief.

Accept that 90% of the people you talk to are morons, cherish that 10%, and KIM bro. “

Yeah… and then after the grieving ends, I suppose you move on to the “F__k Trying To Enlighten The Moronic 90% And Just Exploit Them In Order To Join That 3% That Dreams Mentioned” phase… :lol:

kimmie

April 6th, 2011
3:30 pm

barring a legitimate learning disability of course.

Dreams – Man, everything you are saying I have been preaching! I can’t help it, I get it from my mother who was a teacher. I say it to the kids all the time – I would not be so hard on you if I knew you were not capable! Sometimes that child comes out with the most intelligent questions and statements! I know he is capable of doing more than the bare minimum and that’s what I expect out of him. He’s so proud when I’m proven right!

Dan - Simply....Superior

April 6th, 2011
3:30 pm

Yeap, cycnism.

That, combined with a moral compass, is the reason I never got into sales. It’d be too dangerous.

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 6th, 2011
3:31 pm

“well this takes us right back to education doesn’t it?”

Dreams — Exactly, but we don’t have any $$ for education. We’ve got to cut that so that top 3% can keep their W-era tax cuts. I’m just sittin’ here watching the wheels go round-and-roooooooooooound….

cba

April 6th, 2011
3:36 pm

Well, in about 25 to 30 yrs, robots will be programmed to do most of human jobs.
My nephew posted an article on FB that stated there is a program that lawyers can now use and it can do the work of 500 lawyers. Especially, when it comes to researching documents for a case.
A MIT professor stated that, at some point, we are going to have to look at the impact technology is having on the human experience. He said, there will always be jobs for people but not at the payscale they are today. Mainly he was referring to the middle-class.

Dan - Simply....Superior

April 6th, 2011
3:57 pm

@cba

There are tasks that require intiuition that even the be Japanese female autonomon cannot approximate. Likewise, automation carries it’s own risk. As any hacker will tell you “code responds only to instructions.”

So, while automation and technology has been improving and changing life since the wheel, man’s errant and curious nature will always need reassuring.

abc

April 6th, 2011
3:59 pm

In 25-30 years we could well be closely approaching the Singularity — when everything about life as we know it will change.

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

April 6th, 2011
4:08 pm

In 25-30 years we could well be closely approaching the Singularity — when everything about life as we know it will change.
abc It’s definitely possible. The thing about singularities is that all known “laws” break down as you approach that point, making it impossible to predict what will happen as you pass through the singularity.

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 6th, 2011
4:31 pm

I forget where I read this, but this pretty much sums up my feelings on the subject:

The Singularity == The Rapture for Nerds

Simple Man!!!!

April 6th, 2011
4:57 pm

Pretty damn remarkable that we can go from starting the day talking about Not Fuggin your female BFF to Algebra to Singularity…. I guess the moral of the story is, if you wanna hit her, you better do it now ’cause in 2045 the I-Robot will be here and he gonna do EVERYBODY!!!!