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Better off friends?

So I asked my Guy Decoder for a little advice on how to handle a little dating situation. After spending time with a new guy, I realize we are definitely not romantically compatible, but I really would love to have him in my life – as a friend.

I know most men DESPISE the friend zone because it basically eliminates any possibility of bedroom action. The thing is, we really have the best time talking, laughing, and hanging out. We certainly could continue to spend time together, but I want to let him know that romance is not in our future.

I don’t think this guy is hopelessly in love with me or anything, so I still figure I could pull this off. I just wondered if it’s all or none, use me romantically or lose me as a friend. What do you guys think? Would it help if I fixed him up with a great girl?

Aren’t there situations where men are able to remain friends with a woman after being rejected romantically?

Ladies, have you ever been in this situation? How did you handle it?

Is it really mission impossible to parlay a great friendship with someone you once dated, but dumped?

When you find out you are better off friends, how do the dynamics change?  In a way, couldn’t you become closer without the pressure of a romantic relationship?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

191 comments Add your comment

Reio

April 6th, 2011
10:50 am

Lana, Marriage is for child rearing. Biological or adoptive. Marriage is the best arraingement for this.

Purple Rain

April 6th, 2011
10:51 am

Properly vet, then marry the right person and don’t be afraid to stick it out and face the challenges. You determine if you are in the percentile of happy or sad marriages.

Anticoli

April 6th, 2011
10:52 am

I agree with kimmie, some people…heck MOST people are in your life for a season, few years and then people or things change. I prefer to have a very loving, respectful and intimate relationship without getting married for that reason. Life is too short to confine yourself or shackle yourself to one person for your entire life. I have many, many friends both male and female. Conditions change, some for the better and others not so much. I keep the ones that I treasure and discard the ones that aren’t. Live and learn life’s lessons. Some stay friends, others move forward or backwards. Relationships either move forward or backwards. They never stand still.

Purple Rain

April 6th, 2011
10:58 am

I chose to be married because I found the person I want to be with for life! I know I have the best for me.

kimmie

April 6th, 2011
11:02 am

Correction – I didn’t mean a spouse is in your life for a season. They could be, but it isn’t supposed to be that way. My bad.

But looking back on my life, I’ve run across many amazing people. Some I’ve lost touch with, changed jobs so I don’t see them anymore, broken up with, some have died. Some just kind of naturally fall by the wayside with the busyness that is life. You are “doomed” and shouldn’t fall to pieces when these natural occurances of life happen.

kimmie

April 6th, 2011
11:03 am

aren’t doomed – Okay my fingers are working faster than my brain today!

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit :-)

April 6th, 2011
11:08 am

I suppose gay guys could be platonic friends with a chick.

I have several and I love it…they also help me decipher who is on the D.L. and that’s critical now-a-days…

The other male friends I’ve had(around my age) at some point have tried to hit on me so I had to distance myself. The other male friend I have is like my grandaddy’s age and we’ve been cool for the past 13 years and he’s never tried me.

Fantasy Land

April 6th, 2011
11:11 am

Men and women just being friends?

I have alot of female friends they are my sister, aunts, and cousins. Its funny how women of today always want to have their cake and eat it too. The only reason that wonderful guy who has it all is displaying all of his wonderful attributes is because he wants to be with you, SCREW YOU or USE YOU, there is no in between (if he is in between any of that he is GAY) and that is being honest ladies, from a MAN!!!

The man who hangs around for no reason other than being a friends is C@ckblocking the man who is in the position to be with that women or in the transition of making that move.

Ladies with male freinds ask your man friend if he could have sex with you would he and im pretty sure you would get a 100% yes, with no questions asked. Please stop fooling yourself into actually thinking a man just wants to be just your friend.

C’MON SON!!!

kimmie

April 6th, 2011
11:12 am

My fiance’s older sister is looking for a place to go listen to some music or have a drink and sit and talk with her BF that’s in town. Any suggestions, Gang?

Fion

April 6th, 2011
11:21 am

Kimmie, I won’t charge you for this one.

Try the InterContinental Hotel Lobby in Buckhead. They used to do live music through
the week there.

Simple Man!!!!

April 6th, 2011
11:23 am

kimmie, The Intercontinental In Buckhead has Great live Jazz Thursday thru Sunday in the Piano lounge… Great food and a wonderful vibe for just chillin, catching up or whatever…

kimmie

April 6th, 2011
11:24 am

Fion & Simple – Thank you so much! I knew you guys could help a sister out! :)

Celisea

April 6th, 2011
11:24 am

Fantasy Land – You okay? You vented just a bit there huh? Somebody in your way…lol

Simple Man!!!!

April 6th, 2011
11:27 am

Fantasy Land, sounds like your game might not have been strong enough to get past theat dude that was just kicking it with that girl you were tryin to holla at…LOL!!! Step it Up Bruh!!! You will get it next time!!!

Fion

April 6th, 2011
11:28 am

Celisea, Leave Fantasy alone. I read that sh>> twice. he’s on that Charlie Sheen!!!!!

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 6th, 2011
11:31 am

And while you’re at the Intercontinental, stop in at Au Pied de Cochon for some tasty escargot…

Fion

April 6th, 2011
11:34 am

Swiss are they still doing the late night menu. 2am action????

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 6th, 2011
11:36 am

It’s been a while since I’ve been there, but I believe they used to be open 24/7

kimmie

April 6th, 2011
11:37 am

Swiss – Just went on the website – they are 24/7 – thanks!

Celisea

April 6th, 2011
11:37 am

Fion – Celisea, Leave Fantasy alone. I read that sh>> twice. he’s on that Charlie Sheen!!!!!

It’s apparent ain’t it. Fantasy do your thing, tell ole girl where you want to go and replace her BFF. You’ll become all of those wonderful things that he is to her :)

Fion

April 6th, 2011
11:38 am

Right, right.
Then they went to late night and stopped serving at 4am. It’s been a minute since I went thorugh, but I got to put that one back in play this Spring and summer.

Fion

April 6th, 2011
11:40 am

Cool, cool. didn’t see kimmie’s post.

Fantasy Land

April 6th, 2011
11:46 am

Im good I love’ em and leave’em thats for the haters and the confused cats who disrespect the game!

Simple Man!!!!

April 6th, 2011
11:49 am

Yup..all of them ‘cept oh girl that buddy kicking it wit!!! lol

Celisea

April 6th, 2011
11:54 am

Fantasy Land – Im good I love’ em and leave’em thats for the haters and the confused cats who disrespect the game!

That ain’t what your post said. Cut it out, we’re fam here…you can vent and let it out…lol Just kidding

Fantasy Land

April 6th, 2011
11:55 am

Yo girl over here right now, lame!!!!

Purple Rain

April 6th, 2011
12:08 pm

Someone is on Spring Break. LOL

Purple Rain

April 6th, 2011
12:08 pm

and playing on the internetz

Simple Man!!!!

April 6th, 2011
12:16 pm

OK Fantasy….The afternoon Cash 3 just played…Why don’t you be a good boy and go back into the basement so mommy can check her numbers….

Fantasy land

April 6th, 2011
12:38 pm

Simple man, I would like to apologize I didn’t read your earlier statements before I commented. I can see now that your a woman trapped in a mans body and no matter how many times you fix your makeup and get your eyebrows arched you are still a boy, Damon!!!

MC Hammock

April 6th, 2011
12:39 pm

OK, just had my fifteen minutes of fame just now…in my eyes, anyway.

MC Hammock

April 6th, 2011
12:44 pm

I was just at the gym for my lunch hour, chick (who shall remain nameless) is in her upper 40’s, hard body, great rack, not gorgeous in the face, but pretty. I joke with her when I go at this time….she is talking and an ear phone “drops” from her hand and….wait for it….right into her cleavage. I play around and joke “Will you stop teasing me?” and ended it with a laugh. She smiles and says “Is it working?” and keeps staring at me. I just laugh it off and then she asks me again. I don’t know how to respond, so I laugh again and walk away to the next machine.

People that doesn’t happen to me…..not at this age. Whether she was hitting on me or not…in my own private world…she was. Let me live in my fantasy world, OK? LMAO

MC Hammock

April 6th, 2011
12:45 pm

In case any newbies are here…yes, I’m married and ain’t interested in getting a divorce….lol

kimmie

April 6th, 2011
12:46 pm

MC – Looks like you still got it! :)

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit :-)

April 6th, 2011
12:47 pm

Geeze MC you don’t look like the elephant man do you? You seem rather perplexed that this happened…take it as is but if she does that again then she just might be interested in “working out” with you… I’m jus sayin…

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit :-)

April 6th, 2011
12:49 pm

Oh okay I’m far from a newbie but I didn’t know you were married MC so please disregard my earlier comment por favor…gracias.

Celisea

April 6th, 2011
12:51 pm

MC Hammock – May I ask…how old are you? I thought early forties…maybe

Celisea

April 6th, 2011
12:51 pm

And I would tell you to go ahead and work that but you’re married so nevermind.

Simple Man!!!!

April 6th, 2011
12:52 pm

MC….Yeah, she is now in play!! Smile puff your chest out a bit and K.I.M… Go home and kiss the misses…Knowing you still got it!!!

Fion

April 6th, 2011
1:10 pm

MCH, you married right????? cause if you ain’t, Clean out yo locker!!!!

Purple Rain

April 6th, 2011
1:15 pm

MC that was an ego boost enjoy the moment now stay far far away from her. A determined woman is hell to fight off.

Purple Rain

April 6th, 2011
1:50 pm

It got quiet

cba

April 6th, 2011
1:50 pm

There is a God…….Fox is cutting ties with Glen Beck (GTFOH!!!)

Simple Man!!!!

April 6th, 2011
1:53 pm

cba…he finally jumped the shark huh???

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

April 6th, 2011
1:55 pm

Whew it’s so nice out there. I didn’t want to come back in. I see it got kinda slow in here though. You all are going to have to pick up the pace though because I’m depending on you to keep me from nodding while this code runs. lol

Purple Rain

April 6th, 2011
2:04 pm

Give me some fuel on here and I will make the most of it. LOL

MC Hammock

April 6th, 2011
2:07 pm

Sorry, just got out of a meeting. Celises, I’m 47, but I get mistaken for my upper 30’s all the time.

cba

April 6th, 2011
2:07 pm

Dreams, if I’m not mistaken, you have a degree in math. The topic on yesterday’s blog, Get Schooled, was about whether or not algebra II should still be taught in high school. Quite interesting.
My response was, what do you think the Chinese are doing??
I saw a stat yesterday where 200 million Chinese students are learning english and 50,000 american students are learning chinese.

MC Hammock

April 6th, 2011
2:09 pm

Yeah, it’s not like I wanted to make a kill, but’s it’s nice knowing I could still hunt if I wanted to. OK, back to reality and this %$#@@&*$ sales report…..*sigh

MC Hammock

April 6th, 2011
2:11 pm

I’m more of a Libertarian with a Conservative slant, but that Glenn Beck is as embarrasing for the GOP and Keith Oberman is for the Dems. Glad he’s gone!