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Dating: If you use me, you lose me

If single people listed their top 10 most annoying things about dating in Atlanta, I would bet that being used ranks pretty high. There is no way to get around it, and many of us are guilty of it ourselves.

Going out on a date with someone you have absolutely no physical attraction to because you are bored? You, my friend are a user. Keeping someone around for pseudo-dating because they make a great arm ornament? Yep, use. use. use.

So if it happens so much, and we are all guilty of it, is it always a bad thing? How is it avoidable? How would you feel if someone you met and really liked, used you for a specific come up. Would it be a deal breaker?

I am often asked by guy friends for help in recognizing when they are being used by women. Ladies, can you give men tips on when women are using them? What ways have you used a guy, and did it backfire? If so, how did you pay for it later?

Guys  how can you advise a woman when a guy is using her for personal gain? (I know, this means you may to confess your romantic crimes and put yourself on blast)

Aren’t two people who really like each other supposed to rely on one another if they are able to provide something? Shouldn’t men be able to show how he can protect, provide, and support a woman? Shouldn’t a woman be able to demonstrate how she can be dependable, nurturing, and reliable for her man?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

156 comments Add your comment

BL

April 4th, 2011
7:29 am

Nothing wrong with that…just be forthcoming. If a guy or a gal needs a “date” for an office party or some such social event, just say it. As long as both parties understand what’s really going on, there’s no foul.

czBrat

April 4th, 2011
7:55 am

HiYas!

just be forthcoming. If a guy or a gal needs a “date” for an office party or some such social event, just say it.

it should be that simple, BL. but then dude decides to go for more in spite of the ‘agreement’ and name-calling ensues.

oh well. live ‘n learn.

and guys, if she has absolutely zero interest in any aspect of your life that does not involve her in some way, you’re being used.

CoolShadow

April 4th, 2011
7:56 am

In “relationships”, we often use people for some personal gain; when the using is reciprocated and treated as a privilege, trust is then established. The problem comes in when the phenomena of using is not mutually beneficial to both parties and/or there’s a misalignment in agendas, in which those states of disequilibrium create a situation where one party is being used or played.

To extend yourself emotionally, physically, financially, etc., to someone in order to display dependability, worthiness and reliability is to potentially expose yourself to being used. How the other party responds will determine whether your actions are being treated as the development of trust or you’re being used.

Simple Man!!!!

April 4th, 2011
8:09 am

Morning all….Funny Depending on what I am getting out of the deal, I don’t have a problem “being used”…I generally recognize when a date is going from feeling to using, so I try to shift my expectations accordingly….

SexyCool

April 4th, 2011
8:14 am

Using a person is something that I carefully guarded against when I was actively dating. Even if it wasn’t a love connection, I had enough respect for the person to not want to take advantage of him.

Big Dawg Cobb

April 4th, 2011
8:14 am

As a male I think a lot of female daters are users these days. It seems to me that women enjoy running up a big alcohol tab on a first date. Take a women to dinner these days and she orders either a salad or the most expensive seafood plate. Either way she proceeds to pound down 4 to 6 10 dollar drinks.

Funny thing is after dinner she suggests we go out for a drink. I’d be interested in knowing how many female first date DUI’s happen?

Folks want too much, but give little in return

April 4th, 2011
8:16 am

CZ Brat’s final line describes it best. Another way to see if you’re being used is if you’re always being summoned at the last minute. Text at 430 for a 7pm date…..means someone else probably cancelled. The person contacting you is scrambling and you better believe calls went out elsewhere or will go out elsewhere if you decline.

In the end, Bill Withers’ line holds true, “I wanna spread the news…that if it feels this good getting used……you just keep on using me……..until you use me up” If it doesnt feel good to be used…it wont last. If the using transmits to a redeemable quality…it has a chance to last because there is some good out of it.

czBrat

April 4th, 2011
8:27 am

Diva makes a good point. do we call it using only when there is no reciprocal emotional interest, but if we’re ‘in love’ then all is exactly as it should be?

Folks want too much, but give little in return

April 4th, 2011
8:32 am

In love and a committed relationship are different from “dating.” If youre in love, its sacrifice for your partner….if it’s in the “dating” unclear commitment phase, then it’s an evening with an attention starved person.

czBrat

April 4th, 2011
8:41 am

since your moniker fits so well, Folks, i’ll ask you directly. in a loving, committed relationship where one person loves the other more and, therefore, probably sacrifices more (albeit willingly) is there still some using going on?

Reggie

April 4th, 2011
8:41 am

Depending on what you were being used for. I’ve used other women and I have been used. Doesn’t bother me that much unless it comes face to face with outright disrespect. I’ve been used by women to get into a certain party or event, to get a free meal, etc. If you hear the “Let’s just go out as friends.” tab and you wanted it to be more….disengage, brothah. If I just wanted a companion to hang with, I’ll get another guy and won’t have to pay his tab. I’ve also used women because I thought they were hot or because I KNEW that they like to sleep around. it works both ways. Establish the rules, state the conditions and then let both parties decide whether or not to go forward. Isn’t that what dating is all about? Trial and error? It is what it is and you shouldn’t get all bent up about it too badly if it happens to you. It happens to everyone. Just learn and move on.

OMG

April 4th, 2011
8:45 am

Dating is a “trial run” and too many people take it too seriously, like each date is seeing if you want to marry that person. Lighten up and live life. I’m a divorced woman and it happens….big deal. I’ve done it and I’ve had it done to me. You win some and you lose some. Welcome to this place lots of us like to call REALITY. If you are just out checking off boxes with each date just to decide if you want to marry them, you’re missing about 3/4 of the idea. Like I said, lighten up and stop taking everything so seriously.

MC Hammock

April 4th, 2011
8:52 am

I loved dating light heartedly and just seeing what developed. People everywhere use other people everywhere. The first date is a “using “phase where you are just feeling them out as to whether they are 1) undatable, 2) great person, but just for fun or 3) great person and I’d like to go out with them and find out more. My dates are doing that to me, as well. So what? Some of the best times I’ve had were just light hearted and nothing serious. We may see each other again and we may not. Sometimes we roll around in the hay and others we don’t. If you want to take it a step further, but they don’t, the rules have just been stated and you decide what to do then…take it or leave it. I don’t see the big, scandalous, emotionally traumatic deal here. Be big boys and girls of you want to play big boys and girls games. It could be lots of fun inspite of yourself.

Folks want too much, but give little in return

April 4th, 2011
8:55 am

There is ALWAYS using going on CZ, just not at the appropriate level or fairness to the other party. Give and take has a gray area. To be used by someone I love, not all that bad…..to be used by random dater who just met me…. I’d hate to feel like Im wasting my time and resources.

knockoutblonde

April 4th, 2011
8:58 am

Been there, done that….and had it done to me. I lived, got over it and got back in the game. No biggie. I used to have guy friends that would (I guess) be classified as “using”, but I was doing the same thing to them. It’s when one person wants to take the next step and the other either does or doesn’t I don’t get emotionally invested for many, many dates. I enjoy the moment, savor the experience and the next day, I make my call. I prefer to live life and smell the flowers as I go. if something develops from it, it develops. if it doesn’t, it doesn’t.

NY state of mind

April 4th, 2011
9:00 am

Morn Fam- I can only speak of my personal experience. I live in NYC where MTA is commonly used as a means of trasnportation- with that said you have a better chance of dating a man w/o a car than with one. I’ve had a permit since age 15. I have owned several cars and I can honestly say that I have dated a man in NYC or NYS that didn’t own his own vehicle. This has become a MAJOR problem for me due to the fact I felt as if I was being used for my vehicle- No it wasn’t and isnt now a fancy fancy whip but its mine. The man I met was taking mass transit and/or taxi cabs just fine in the beginning now all of sudden he has a problem with the bus and trains and need for me to drive him everywhere…I cared for him but I wasnt about to take care of him. He had money to buy his own car but did not because I had one. The relationship seemed as if it were a one-way street with me driving him around and putting more into the relationshio than him. So I ended the relationship.

czBrat

April 4th, 2011
9:16 am

well said, Folks. also luvin the light hearted approach to dating, MC. what’s the point if you’re not having fun!?!

Dan - Simply....Superior

April 4th, 2011
9:20 am

To use someone without their consent is a breach of trust.

I found that being upfront, honest, and providing “informed consent” made thing easier back when I was actively dating. (thanks for that line SC).

But the feeling of being used is one that you never.quite.shake. Because it means this person actively played you for what amounted to a minor gain (in the realm of a lifetime). And being aware of the potential usury nature makes one gunshy, but you can’t love half heartedly, so there’s the risk management.

Ion know, this is a toughy; I can literaly see both side to the argument.

Dan - Simply....Superior

April 4th, 2011
9:22 am

@WD

Shame on you for thinking anyone on this blog is less than perfect, never been hurt, never been duped, or has less than a stellar dating record.

You know that “the timing wasn’t [ever] right”

knockoutblonde

April 4th, 2011
9:36 am

goof morning, dan. I agree with you. While eventually it may develop into something, it has to start off being fun and light hearted in the beginning for the ship to begin it’s cruise. I HATE when people (and we women are notorious for this) think they are in love after a couple of dates or immediately start talking about 1)how they are ready for a relationship, 2) start talking about wht they plan to do differently so their NEXT relationship to be better than the last one or 3) start talking about what they want in their next husband/wife. Listen, it’s our first/second date. Laugh, be fun take me dancing and gimme a kiss, willya? Jeese……

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 4th, 2011
9:41 am

Morning, blogville…

On topic: Leggs & Slim used me for my cunning linguist skills, then threw me away like a cheap man-ho. I was fine with it.

Rafael Nadal

April 4th, 2011
9:49 am

I’ve found that the biggest “users” are married people for obvious reasons and being a guy, I’ve got mucho experience from the fairer side. Didn’t bother me a bit…in fact, I was quite fond of it.

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 4th, 2011
9:52 am

Tough match yesterday, Rafa

SlimNumeroUno

April 4th, 2011
9:56 am

swiss – Now if you gone tell it, tell it right. You were the one walking around tombout “Keep on using me until you use me up”. Plus your cunning linquist skills are far better than that Rosetta Stone ;-)

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

April 4th, 2011
9:57 am

Morning
Everyone uses. It has a negative connotation so people generally don’t like to admit that they do it, but they do. This happens in every aspect of life. It’s no big deal though. Life is good, and dating is fun. Enjoy it for what it is. What good is the destination if the journey was he!!?

Rafael Nadal

April 4th, 2011
9:58 am

@Swiss, yep…Novak’s on a roll. Hard to stop him at this point. Have to see if he’s gonna come back down outta the clouds before the French.

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 4th, 2011
10:04 am

Rafa — My $$ is still on you for the French… Don’t let me down, bro….

“Plus your cunning linquist skills are far better than that Rosetta Stone”

Slim — Awww, thanks, boo… :lol:

Fion

April 4th, 2011
10:10 am

“What good is the destination if the journey was he!!? ”

Well, if ya gonna go through “hell”, keep on going!

Dan - Simply....Superior

April 4th, 2011
10:10 am

@Dreams/KOB

I agree that everyone uses, no doubt.

However, no one ever wants to feel used; and that’s where the “issues” arise.

OMG

April 4th, 2011
10:13 am

Hard to beat a “cunning linquist” with fine skills. I could become a regular “user”…LOL

knockoutblonde

April 4th, 2011
10:18 am

Dan, I see your point, but it’s pretty unavoidable at some point. My stance is that don’t collapse in a heap and sob about it or hate ALL men or women just because it happened. if happened before and it will happen again. It’s like cutting the grass. I don’t like tha allergies, but if you want a nice lawn, ya gotta cut the grass. Some call it a necessary evil. Know that it’s there and do the best you can with the hand that you’re dealt.

Simple Man!!!!

April 4th, 2011
10:18 am

Off topic just a bit…Reading the article about Matt Ryan getting Married this weekend and folks are killing him cause his wife is ” Less than attractive” (Butt ugly)

knockoutblonde

April 4th, 2011
10:20 am

I really feel it’s how you HANDLE it when you suspect or know that you are being used. My favorite response is to tuen it around on them. Just getting mad about it and cursing the world isn’t gonna help matters one bit.

Rafael Nadal

April 4th, 2011
10:21 am

@Simple. It’s called a “butterface”. Everything looks fine, “but her face.”…LOL

M. (pronouced M dot)

April 4th, 2011
10:26 am

Monday…

Everybody has been used or the user. It just happens. Lately, there is this new girl I met and I thought she was cool and we went out on 3 dates that I set up. My problem with her is, I only really here from her when I reach out to her. Therefore, I dont really think she is interested. I think women do use guys mainly because they are always getting approached so they can have their pick and have different guys for different things.

Guys how can you advise a woman when a guy is using her for personal gain?

I think women should know they are being used when he really only reaches out to you at the last minute, its always late and if they are always doing home activities with you.

Simple Man!!!!

April 4th, 2011
10:26 am

KOB….I thik its been said before, As long as one is getting something out of the deal, wheres the harm? I am always tickled by the ones that go in head first and are surprised to look up and find that they are being played…

Celisea

April 4th, 2011
10:26 am

Morning,

This one is not hard. Folks wanting something for nothing are users. Point blank, period. Chances and taking chances, all with good intentions are not. You have to allow vunerability if you ever expect to get anywhere, that’s a given. People are much more in tune than willing to say…..a person knows fully when they’re using versus going all in but it just didn’t happen. Chalking things up to experience and cutting your losses are a part of life….so is having the experience of getting used but they’re not the same. If you don’t intend on going all the way, if you know your intents didn’t align or you swing it until the person comes to realize you’re just getting what you can, you’re a user.

kimmie

April 4th, 2011
10:30 am

Morning Gang!

I was never into the whole going out with a guy I was not attracted to to get a free meal, to get out of the house, etc. It was always in the back of my head that the guy would want a kiss and possibly another date and if I could not see myself doing either, no go. I’m no saint, but I never got into that. Actually a few of my friends couldn’t understand why I’d rather just go dateless. I am not a good actress at all. I can’t hide how I feel (or don’t feel) very well. Yes, I have asked guys I only liked as friends to work functions and I made my intentions quite clear up front – even went dutch like I do with all friends. Some tried to take it a step further – turned my stomach. I’ve just found it more trouble than it’s worth. So I would roll solo or with girlfriends until I met someone whose potential kiss would not repulse me.

As for free meals, nothing is free. And I can make do on a peanut butter sandwich. I got plenty family and friends that would feed me if I was hungry. Don’t need to use some dude to eat.

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

April 4th, 2011
10:32 am

Well, if ya gonna go through “hell”, keep on going!
Yeah but some people make their own journey he!!, overanalyzing things, making every situation a 911 emergency. I don’t see why people do that. When it’s all said and done, I want to be able to say I enjoyed my life and made the most of it.

However, no one ever wants to feel used;
Dan Happens to the best of us. If you can avoid it, then avoid it. Otherwise, your best bet is to minimze the impact. Like you said…risk management.

czBrat

April 4th, 2011
10:34 am

Folks wanting something for nothing are users. Point blank, period. Chances and taking chances, all with good intentions are not.
luv it!!

knockoutblonde

April 4th, 2011
10:42 am

“Some people want to go through life unscathers, unbruised and lying down in the casket all nice and pretty. Not me. When I go, I want to come to the casket, sliding in sideways, face muddied and scratched, clothes worn and used, a martini in one hand and a beer in the other proclaiming “Life…..WOW, what a ride!”

knockoutblonde

April 4th, 2011
10:43 am

oops….”unscathed”…sorry

Willie Dynamite

April 4th, 2011
11:01 am

Morning All,

As most have stated i think it is definitely part of the deal. Your job during the dating and discovery phase is to find out as soon as possible if what you are involved in fits the criteria. The problem with the user is that they have honed there skills are are quite adept at hiding that fact. Plus the same problem with the Usee is that a lot of times you hold out thinking that person will come around. By that time you are officially a Sponsor.

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 4th, 2011
11:15 am

Okay, now, being a DAWG fan, my hate for the gators runs deep, but this is just some bullsh!t… C’mon, man! You gotta arrest a dude for Viagra? :lol:

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

April 4th, 2011
11:30 am

Man where is everyone. Don’t you all know that I “use” the blog to fulfill my entertainment needs while at work. Rahahahaha, I’m soooo devious.

Simple Man!!!!

April 4th, 2011
11:33 am

Here I am already to be used and abused, and there are no women on board to make that happen…WTH???? :(

Willie Dynamite

April 4th, 2011
11:33 am

DreamsMat – how was your weekend man? It was so nice out. I just enjoyed being a spectator while out n about.

MC Hammock

April 4th, 2011
11:37 am

dadgum….sounds like crickets in here……not a drop of estrogen in sight.

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

April 4th, 2011
11:40 am

Hey what’s good WillieD. The weekend on point. Hit the game Friday night and watched the Hawks bring it to the Celtics. Was out and about on Saturday. Took babygirl fishing Sunday. Looks like another nice one today…about to get out there and enjoy the sights.

Willie Dynamite

April 4th, 2011
11:43 am

Aww man, great minds think alike. I took my lil girl fishing for a few Sunday as well. She’s getting pretty good (read;arrogant) with the Rod skills. I think she just likes casting and could care less about whether she gets a fish.

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 4th, 2011
11:49 am

What’s up with the sausage fest? Who scared all the blogettes away?

SexyCool

April 4th, 2011
11:49 am

We went to the Ludacris concert at Georgia State Friday night – (shoulda been packing)

Appliance shopped on Saturday – (hated that)

Worked the Wrestlemania event last night – (shoulda been packing) – Leaving the Georgia Dome last night with 70,000+ slightly drunk fans was a kind of mania all in itself.

SexyCool

April 4th, 2011
11:54 am

Number One Tip That A Chick Is Dating Your Wallet – She always calls with suggestions for places to go and things to do and always expects you to pay.

Simple Man!!!!

April 4th, 2011
12:00 pm

@ SexyCool ….”She always calls with suggestions for places to go and things to do and always expects you to pay.”

Been there……

SexyCool

April 4th, 2011
12:01 pm

Big Dawg Cobb – Where are you meeting these chicks that are one drink away from an AA meeting?

Willie Dynamite

April 4th, 2011
12:01 pm

Swiss – They are still around. Just gotta say something to bring them out the shadows. Plus as Men we all know that with this topic our upstanding Blog Ladies have never “knowingly” used anyone before. Besides we know thats just code for guy friend

SC- I was down around Centennial this weekend and the WWE folks were slightly drunk all weekend. Slightly drunk for that crowd is un understatement. The only saving grace for most of them was they had kids in tow.

SexyCool

April 4th, 2011
12:03 pm

Number One Clue That A Dude is Dating Your Va-Jay-Jay – He’s male. (Teasing)

SexyCool

April 4th, 2011
12:04 pm

WillieD – exactly, slightly was an understatement.

SexyCool

April 4th, 2011
12:05 pm

The nine walking vendors (beer guys) in the room that I managed sold $7K worth of beer alone in five hours.

Dan - Simply....Superior

April 4th, 2011
12:07 pm

Be thankful y’all weren’t on the road with those….nice revenue generating individuals…

SexyCool

April 4th, 2011
12:14 pm

The souvenir purchase that I thought was the funniest thing going last night – the replica championship wrestling belts. Hilarious.

SexyCool

April 4th, 2011
12:16 pm

I heard the Rick Flair trademark “Wooooooooo!!!!” so many times yesterday, I was hearing it in my sleep last night.

Simple Man!!!!

April 4th, 2011
12:17 pm

@ SexyCool ….

“Number One Clue That A Dude is Dating Your Va-Jay-Jay”

Been There….

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 4th, 2011
12:18 pm

Number 2 clue that a dude is dating your va-jay-jay: You have a va-jay-jay. ;-) :lol:

czBrat

April 4th, 2011
12:38 pm

Simple, i’ve got a little time on my hands while s/o is away. i’ll be happy to take full advantage of all you have to offer, as long as we’re clear it’s all about us for four days and four days ONLY!

Jeff

April 4th, 2011
12:46 pm

Women do it all the time to men for free dinners, etc. I’ve long since gone past the point of having any compassion for the entire gender.

Simple Man!!!!

April 4th, 2011
12:50 pm

LOL..Brat…I am so game for everything except leather chaps and ball gags!!! :)

SexyCool

April 4th, 2011
12:59 pm

swiss…you nut. (yeah…I know…”Wait for it. Wait for it.”)

czBrat

April 4th, 2011
1:06 pm

no worries. we not goin down that road anyway. this here adventure starts with a shopping spree. so break out the black amex and get the door for me, dear simple man.

Simple Man!!!!

April 4th, 2011
1:08 pm

Black Amex??? Not quite there, but I have a Platinum with hella points :) :D :) ( Now accepted at Kroger and Target)

Lord Velonese

April 4th, 2011
1:12 pm

“If you use me, you lose me”

Agreed, some may argue “but what if it’s in a good way” to me there is no such thing. Also just because a person might be easy doesn’t mean you have a right to use them, how low do you want to sink yourself?

czBrat

April 4th, 2011
1:15 pm

mmmm. i think this is gonna work out fine. just fine. :)

Willie Dynamite

April 4th, 2011
1:17 pm

SimpMan – digressing again are we?????

LV – Did you hunt the chick down that paid your tab yet?

SexyCool

April 4th, 2011
1:18 pm

LV – “how low do you want to sink yourself?”

Exactly…that was one of my main reasons for attempting to do right by men that I have met in the past who were good dudes, just not the dude for me.

It was because I hold myself to a higher regard….(for the most part anyway.)

Willie Dynamite

April 4th, 2011
1:23 pm

….(for the most part anyway.)

interesting concept. Did you find that Dudes would exploit that part of your personality. I know for a fact (cause I did it) that dudes will pass over good chicks for the vulnerable/thirsty ones that will fall in line with the program for the moment.

czBrat

April 4th, 2011
1:26 pm

dudes will pass over good chicks for the vulnerable/thirsty ones that will fall in line with the program for the moment.

uh huh. and yet there will always be chicks who believe they can be thirsty and beat the odds. i’d much rather sleep with my self-respect and my good name than any ol dude.

SexyCool

April 4th, 2011
1:29 pm

WillieD – I meant that in the way of…not wanting to take advantage of a person who was putting more in to me than I was in to them as opposed to any vulnerability on my part. (Not saying that I have not been vulnerable.)

And I’m also saying that I have never taken advantage of a man’s kindness. I’m just saying that I tried not to do that, but in instances where I did, I was really good at recognizing it and pulling up from a guy fairly quickly.

SexyCool

April 4th, 2011
1:31 pm

And I’m also NOT saying that I have never taken advantage of a man’s kindness.

Willie Dynamite

April 4th, 2011
1:39 pm

CZ – yep, the dating game thrives on EVERY type that fits the bill.

SC – so true, In most cases the thirsty dudes and the truly good guys get taken advantage of. The Thirsty dudes because all they see is the end result in some cases. They think that a few dates and drinks are part of the deal to get a lil puddy. In there eyes thats a even swap until they realize they’ve run into a superior player. The good guys are just naive and outclassed when they run into a predator.

Gold-digging doesn’t always happen on a large Millionare type scale. I tell my friends all the time, If you in the jungle the Lions and Elephants wont be the ones getting you. Its the insects, bugs and Ants you gotta pay attention to.

Celisea

April 4th, 2011
1:43 pm

Hey LV – Nice comments.

SexyCool

April 4th, 2011
1:45 pm

And when it comes to being exploited, because I have been, as I grew, matured and experienced more in life, I learned better to recognize the signs of such and developed a much, MUCH lower tolerance level for bllsht. And that’s not to say that I could not still be *got*, oh yeah…I got *got* a time or two even after thinking I knew better.

When it comes to Game, sometimes you can recognize it. Sometimes, you’re outplayed. And in those instances, you take the lump, the lesson and move on.

kimmie

April 4th, 2011
1:47 pm

Any of you all seen Black Swan? We watched it yesterday – that is really a horror film, but it was excellent!

Willie Dynamite

April 4th, 2011
2:06 pm

When it comes to Game, sometimes you can recognize it. Sometimes, you’re outplayed. And in those instances, you take the lump, the lesson and move on

Bottom Line right there. We’ve all drawn the short stick. Whine, Cry or whatever it is you do to get over it and K.I.M.

Simple Man!!!!

April 4th, 2011
2:10 pm

Off topic…What ever happened to Chante’ Moore??? She is on my Ipod now, and girl had SKILLS…..

For Real aka MC Daequan

April 4th, 2011
2:10 pm

Intent is inconsequential, all people use other people. We learn it as child and some of us prefect it as adults. The objective is to determine WHO will use you and HOW MUCH you are willing to be used.

czBrat

April 4th, 2011
2:15 pm

i’ve seen it kimmie. absolutely my kinda movie.

kimmie

April 4th, 2011
2:17 pm

Simple – I heard Chante’ Moore along with some others at Chastain Park a few years ago. She was incredible. She definitely has a voice and sounds great live!

kimmie

April 4th, 2011
2:18 pm

Brat – Natalie Portman EARNED that Oscar!

Willie Dynamite

April 4th, 2011
2:26 pm

SimpMan – I’ve met her, she is a distant cousin of the Wifey. I can tell you she is very down to earth with no outward Diva tendencies. Drop dead, roll out the bed, every day gorgeous. She has a disdain for the industry. At her heart she’s a good girl that doesn’t want to be involved in the cut-throat world of Major Music labels. She’s keeping busy flying under the radar and being in Love.

czBrat

April 4th, 2011
2:28 pm

after watching that, i thought about other movies i’ve seen her in (star wars, anywhere but here, where the heart is) where she played “nice” characters, and i realized that the really, REALLY good actors must have more than a little bit of crazy in them. that applies to denzel too.

MC Hammock

April 4th, 2011
2:29 pm

My 14 year old daughter has to go to a kiddie shrink because she has “issues” with her Dad (me). The shrink (a lady) told me that I should LET her manipulate me a little because she is “learning how to relate to men”. All I could stammer was “So it’s all true! Women DO control the world!”.

MC Hammock

April 4th, 2011
2:30 pm

A grown lady telling a grown man that he should let his 14 year old daughter manipulate him because she is learning (i.e., in training) how to relate to men. Can ya believe that? Well, just #### a duck……

Charlie Sheen

April 4th, 2011
2:31 pm

“really, REALLY good actors must have more than a little bit of crazy in them”

#winning

Simple Man!!!!

April 4th, 2011
2:32 pm

Willie, thats whats up…..I would pay top dollar to see her in concert again ,and would even be ok with CZ using me for dinnerr and a concert that night… ( Chante’s love songs might just be magic) :)

NY state of mind

April 4th, 2011
2:34 pm

@MC- my son saw a kiddie shrink (therapist) because he couldn’t understand why I was divorcing his dad because he had a mistress x2. He told the therapist I was overreacting because all men have wives and girlfriends.

I totally disgree with you’re therapist.

kimmie

April 4th, 2011
2:37 pm

Simple – I remember now, it was the Rhythm of Love concert. It was Chante’, Will Downing and Jonathan Butler. Very nice!

czBrat

April 4th, 2011
2:38 pm

like i said, simple. ya got four days. if ms. moore ain’t workin this week i can’t help ya.

on that topic though, i tried desperately to find “love’s taken over” for a ringback tone but alas, no luck. :(

Simple Man!!!!

April 4th, 2011
2:39 pm

Kimmie, hate I missed that one!!! Will downing is my boy!!! Stays in the rotation at my house!!!

kimmie

April 4th, 2011
2:42 pm

I guess I am just too old school. Growing up the only “therapist” we had was a belt!

MC – That’s hogwash. Change shrinks! No wonder these kids today can’t handle anything!

MC Hammock

April 4th, 2011
2:42 pm

I think that the shrink, my daughter and my ex wife are in cahoots together. They already have all my money, so now they’re tring to take my sanity. I feel like Bill Murray in “What about Bob.”

NY, so you say “Black Swan” is really a horror movie and it’s pretty good?

Willie Dynamite

April 4th, 2011
2:43 pm

SimpMan – come on bruh, you just got ya card back. Are you throwing dinner parties again? Then again if it works for you who am I to rain on your parade. Do what you do. Just don’t call the cops on me. LOL!!!!

I think Therapist have a predisposition to say the right/wrong things to get you back in the office for another session.

MC Hammock

April 4th, 2011
2:44 pm

@kimmie, I can relate. My Dad gave me the Bill Cosby line “Boy, I brought you into this world and I can take you out. And it won’t make any difference to me because I can make another one that looks just like you.” We got two whuppings a week and a third every Sunday morning just in case they missed something…..

kimmie

April 4th, 2011
2:44 pm

MC – Tis I that said it’s really a horror movie. And yes, it is excellent! Brat agrees!

Fion

April 4th, 2011
2:45 pm

MCH, I hope you’re kidding, cause if you’re not, there is no way I take my daughter back to that Shrink!

For Real aka MC Daequan

April 4th, 2011
2:46 pm

MC: You should have reminded that quack that you are her FATHER and not her MAN! Now go beat her azz for making you have to deal with this foolishness.

I knew Natalie Portman was going to be a great actress when I saw her in The Professional.

Chante is the truth.

Simple: don’t make me start the presses. now you tell Brat to leave the spare key under flower pot. I’ll take the first two days.

Simple Man!!!!

April 4th, 2011
2:47 pm

Willie D..its all good dude…This is for research only…Gonna see if a top flight strong willed lady like CZ will fall under the spell of Shoe Shopping, Sea food, and Chante’ Moore.. And remember, all mankind is subject to benifit from this knowledge….

MC Hammock

April 4th, 2011
2:47 pm

OK, Kimmie. I’m gonna take your recommendation. I love horror movies, but my wife hates ‘em. She mentioned how she wanted to watch the movie, so that means she doesn’t know it’s a skeery one. I win on both fronts!

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 4th, 2011
2:47 pm

If y’all need an extra “Barry Azz Barry” banner for Simple, you can come take this one off my d@mn front lawn… :lol:

MC Hammock

April 4th, 2011
2:48 pm

@Fion, if I’m lyin’, I’m dyin’. That’s what the shrink said!

MC Hammock

April 4th, 2011
2:50 pm

And it’s my ex wife that’s taking her. They live 3 hrs away in Knoxville. Teenagers just have brain damage I’m afraid to say….

Simple Man!!!!

April 4th, 2011
2:53 pm

Come on swiss…Not the Barry banner!!!

kimmie

April 4th, 2011
2:54 pm

MC – I immediately wanted to see it because I love ballet and I have always liked Natalie Portman. It was a different story for my fiance’ – he wanted nothing to do with BALLET!LOL!! He likes horror, thriller and action and scifi flicks. He is a movie buff and listens to these podcasts that give movie reviews and heard nothing but good things. Heard that it was a thriller and the ballet part was really kind of incidental. On the dvd back, it describes it as a “psychosexual thriller”. Yes, it is! He quite enjoyed it and so did it!

kimmie

April 4th, 2011
2:59 pm

4 Real – Did you know Natalie is a genius in real life? She has a bachelor’s from Harvard in psychology and has many scientific publications!

czBrat

April 4th, 2011
3:02 pm

Gonna see if a top flight strong willed lady like CZ will fall under the spell of Shoe Shopping, Sea food, and Chante’ Moore.. c’mon wit it. better men have tried and failed. you dudes are not the only ones capable of walking away after you get what you want. :wink:

and while we’re on the subject of movies, the award for the WORST movie i saw last year goes to “the american”. :mad: s/o said that entire movie was made just so chicks could sit and look at george clooney.

Celisea

April 4th, 2011
3:02 pm

MC Hammock – Hang in there…get yaself some switches…lol That might be too late for a 14 y.o…..but you can let miss lady know who’s the daddy

Simple Man!!!!

April 4th, 2011
3:04 pm

Cz..Yo walking away after which part??? :D

For Real aka MC Daequan

April 4th, 2011
3:07 pm

MC: If you have experience any one of these then your wife and daughter are fugging with you:

Change all your setting on cable
Open your beer just enough to let the fizz out
Switching your Dr. Shoals (left one in the right shoe and right one in the left shoe)
Hiding the remote control
Buying you left handed belts
Changing the code to the garage
Cooking your food without salt
Moving the label on your draws to the front
Draw full of socks with no match
Unscrewing the light bulb in the refrigerator
Hiding one of your house shoes
Shrinking your clothes
Never leaving enough toilet paper on the role
Leaving the cap off your toothpaste
Leaving hair in your brush
Moving the seat in your car

czBrat

April 4th, 2011
3:10 pm

for real = stooooooopid!!

simple, i’ll tell you when. you just keep doting.

Lord Velonese

April 4th, 2011
3:13 pm

@WillieD

Negative, she alluded me this weekend, I’m thinking it might be a friday thing. So (crosses fingers) I am hoping I might run into her this Friday.

For Real aka MC Daequan

April 4th, 2011
3:17 pm

Simple Man!!!!

April 4th, 2011
3:23 pm

Cz..I with you sweetness, but all that giggling and these Free Barry azz B. T-shirts are a distraction….

SexyCool

April 4th, 2011
3:39 pm

The Wolfpack is back!

Willie Dynamite

April 4th, 2011
3:41 pm

Swiss – looks like you have a couple of leads for your banner. LV or SimpMan. Personally I’d go for Simp. He already has a few on his lawn whats one more.

4Real – Can’t wait for that movie. Chow is funny as heyal.

czBrat

April 4th, 2011
3:44 pm

no idea what the banner buzz is all about but i find it hard to believe a man of your stature is so easily distracted. are you with me now?

Simple Man!!!!

April 4th, 2011
3:50 pm

Slight distraction my dear….not enough to cause me to loose focus on your freshly painted toes sliding into these prime for summertime 9 West Sling backs…

czBrat

April 4th, 2011
3:58 pm

thanx papa. the michael antonio’s a little more my style. you’re a dear! muah!

Celisea

April 4th, 2011
4:00 pm

B.A.B. in full effect and this thing is just on page 3…lemme stop

Fion

April 4th, 2011
4:01 pm

@Lord Velonese / @ Willie D
“Negative, she alluded me this weekend”

I believe Willie D had it right last week whe he said:
“I can see you now outside some chicks window with nite-vision goggles, boots and a bow-tie on holding a Thank You card.”

I’ve always been one to spot trouble a long way off. I’m going to kick this thing off with $25 towards your Bail money.

Willie Dynamite

April 4th, 2011
4:03 pm

Fellas – dayummmit man, we got a habitual offender. Prepare a B.A.B. production team stat. Skip the banners and T-Shirts this time. It’s time to bring out the big guns.

4Real – call ya cuz “lil bout to be half dead” time for the face tatoo.

Willie Dynamite

April 4th, 2011
4:09 pm

Fion – No bail money from me. I do banners, T-shirts, bumper stickers and the occasional face tatoo. If you need bail money then he too far gone for the masses. All I can say is i hope he like bustin dudes bumps and know how to do corn-rows.

Fion

April 4th, 2011
4:11 pm

Willie D. that’s Cold-Blooded Man!!!!!

For Real aka MC Daequan

April 4th, 2011
4:11 pm

“4Real – call ya cuz “lil bout to be half dead” time for the face tatoo.” – Cool but I have to warn you, he is in to angry tribal stick figures now.

For Real aka MC Daequan

April 4th, 2011
4:14 pm

LV: Come here and let Twan buss that bump and scratch the dead skin off yo feet.

Willie Dynamite

April 4th, 2011
4:18 pm

Fion – but you didn’t call me a liar.

4real – cool only if he can add a bokay, um booqu, ish add some flowers to the stick man and we in bidness. Tell him like last time. 1/2 the $$ now and the rest in Honey buns, and knowing him next week we’ll put sumn on his books for 2 months

Simple Man!!!!

April 4th, 2011
4:19 pm

Damn CZ….All jokes aside, there are some sandals there that I would but FOR REAL!!!

Simple Man!!!!

April 4th, 2011
4:20 pm

Fion

April 4th, 2011
4:21 pm

MCH, on your daughter, one thing I can say, give her a lot of Love and effection. Hugs, tell her what she means to you and your expectations of her.
And one last thing, don’t always or only react when its something negative. this too shall pass.
Keep ya head up.

For Real aka MC Daequan

April 4th, 2011
4:23 pm

“All jokes aside, there are some sandals there that I would but FOR REAL!!!” – Oh my dayum!!! This one right here! This one right here!! All in favor of sympathy killing say “I”

czBrat

April 4th, 2011
4:24 pm

there are some sandals there that I would but FOR REAL!!!

and buy you will.

i’ve booked a day at exhale and an appointment at vibez for tomorrow. i’m sure you’ll be busy running your lil office, so what time will you sending a driver for me, papa?

Fion

April 4th, 2011
4:26 pm

“Oh my dayum!!! This one right here! This one right here!! All in favor of sympathy killing say “I”

For Real, you and Willie D killin me man. Straight killin me!!!!! Funny as hell.

czBrat

April 4th, 2011
4:27 pm

stop it, for real! leave the “man” alone. he’s happy that i’m happy! :)

Fion

April 4th, 2011
4:31 pm

Back on Topic as I Close.

From the movie Ghetto Physics
“All those that ain’t Pimpin’ are being Played”.

“Ciao Baby”

Willie Dynamite

April 4th, 2011
4:32 pm

and buy you will

Oh my dayum is right. This one right here, this one right here. She need some Mgmt. All bull -ishting aside. We got a winner.

Cz – allow me to introduce myself, heres my card. Mr.Dynamite. Personal Income Management Protector. Your services at my disposal

Simple Man!!!!

April 4th, 2011
4:33 pm

CZ..esperate, yo lo voy areglar….:)

Simple Man!!!!

April 4th, 2011
4:35 pm

czBrat

April 4th, 2011
4:37 pm

Mr. Dynamite, i trust you don’t ask the source of the income your protecting, right? good. open an account for me and be prepared to receive a number of sizable deposits over the next few days.

simple, shall we head out for some aperitifs?
i’ll even let you pick the place. subject to my approval of course.

ciao!

Simple Man!!!!

April 4th, 2011
4:41 pm

CZ…I am headed that way, but its hard for me to walk strait with this wool being pulled over my eyes…..

czBrat

April 4th, 2011
4:42 pm

sí papá. por favor, cuida que tus amigitos van arruinar nuestros planes. te esperaré en el carro.

czBrat

April 4th, 2011
4:44 pm

you’re over-thinking things sweetheart. just follow the sound of my voice. now hurry up!

Willie Dynamite

April 4th, 2011
4:49 pm

CZ – done, good girl

Simple Man!!!!

April 4th, 2011
4:51 pm

We’re good….Its a nice day…Wewi ll let the top back so your hair can flow just like I like it….

Lord Velonese

April 4th, 2011
4:54 pm

Yall are funny, Stalking is not my M.O.

Simple Man!!!!

April 4th, 2011
4:58 pm

Lord V…yeah paying ain’t mine either, But CZ is putting in work while her Mr. is out of town, so imma just roll with it!!!

Willie Dynamite

April 4th, 2011
5:08 pm

yeah yeah yeah. Walk like a duck, quack like a duck I’ll call yo azz Daffy.

Geechee

April 4th, 2011
7:44 pm

Hopy you guys are well.. Geechee’s at the beachee.

[...] Dating: If you use me, you lose me, an article from the AJC was an interesting read, especially the comments that people posted.  I feel like men do feel used when women go on dates with them nowadays. Sometimes I feel like it’s not the intentions of a woman to use a man for a few drinks, or to use them just to have something to do…we, as women, want to date to get to know someone. I need men to understand that dating is expensive. I see it every time i’m out on a date. I order even just a burger for $8.50, some fries for $1.50 and a margarita for $8.00 and that’s not too bad. But most of the time we have an appetizer, he is eating, he has a drink too, and we have at least 2 drinks a piece. That adds up. We are not being greedy or spending up your damn money, that’s how much it costs when you go on  a friggin date!! And that’s an economical date to like Fox Sports grill or Applebee’s. I hate that men see spending money as such a problem. Like, “I spent $50 on her meal b/c she kept ordering drinks, then she don’t want to come over, or hang out for free.” Why did you ask her out if you didn’t expect to spend money? Why not tell her before you go what your budget is? So many men are about acting like they have so much money and status that they take us to these restaurants and say “have another drink” “what do you want to do next,” if you can’t afford the date or the possibility that you are spending money on someone that may end up not being interested in you then you need not date! Bottom line! If you are going to be mad if she orders more than one drink, then why not tell her up front?! [...]