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Dating: If you use me, you lose me

If single people listed their top 10 most annoying things about dating in Atlanta, I would bet that being used ranks pretty high. There is no way to get around it, and many of us are guilty of it ourselves.

Going out on a date with someone you have absolutely no physical attraction to because you are bored? You, my friend are a user. Keeping someone around for pseudo-dating because they make a great arm ornament? Yep, use. use. use.

So if it happens so much, and we are all guilty of it, is it always a bad thing? How is it avoidable? How would you feel if someone you met and really liked, used you for a specific come up. Would it be a deal breaker?

I am often asked by guy friends for help in recognizing when they are being used by women. Ladies, can you give men tips on when women are using them? What ways have you used a guy, and did it backfire? If so, how did you pay for it later?

Guys  how can you advise a woman when a guy is using her for personal gain? (I know, this means you may to confess your romantic crimes and put yourself on blast)

Aren’t two people who really like each other supposed to rely on one another if they are able to provide something? Shouldn’t men be able to show how he can protect, provide, and support a woman? Shouldn’t a woman be able to demonstrate how she can be dependable, nurturing, and reliable for her man?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

156 comments Add your comment

Willie Dynamite

April 4th, 2011
2:43 pm

SimpMan – come on bruh, you just got ya card back. Are you throwing dinner parties again? Then again if it works for you who am I to rain on your parade. Do what you do. Just don’t call the cops on me. LOL!!!!

I think Therapist have a predisposition to say the right/wrong things to get you back in the office for another session.

MC Hammock

April 4th, 2011
2:44 pm

@kimmie, I can relate. My Dad gave me the Bill Cosby line “Boy, I brought you into this world and I can take you out. And it won’t make any difference to me because I can make another one that looks just like you.” We got two whuppings a week and a third every Sunday morning just in case they missed something…..

kimmie

April 4th, 2011
2:44 pm

MC – Tis I that said it’s really a horror movie. And yes, it is excellent! Brat agrees!

Fion

April 4th, 2011
2:45 pm

MCH, I hope you’re kidding, cause if you’re not, there is no way I take my daughter back to that Shrink!

For Real aka MC Daequan

April 4th, 2011
2:46 pm

MC: You should have reminded that quack that you are her FATHER and not her MAN! Now go beat her azz for making you have to deal with this foolishness.

I knew Natalie Portman was going to be a great actress when I saw her in The Professional.

Chante is the truth.

Simple: don’t make me start the presses. now you tell Brat to leave the spare key under flower pot. I’ll take the first two days.

Simple Man!!!!

April 4th, 2011
2:47 pm

Willie D..its all good dude…This is for research only…Gonna see if a top flight strong willed lady like CZ will fall under the spell of Shoe Shopping, Sea food, and Chante’ Moore.. And remember, all mankind is subject to benifit from this knowledge….

MC Hammock

April 4th, 2011
2:47 pm

OK, Kimmie. I’m gonna take your recommendation. I love horror movies, but my wife hates ‘em. She mentioned how she wanted to watch the movie, so that means she doesn’t know it’s a skeery one. I win on both fronts!

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 4th, 2011
2:47 pm

If y’all need an extra “Barry Azz Barry” banner for Simple, you can come take this one off my d@mn front lawn… :lol:

MC Hammock

April 4th, 2011
2:48 pm

@Fion, if I’m lyin’, I’m dyin’. That’s what the shrink said!

MC Hammock

April 4th, 2011
2:50 pm

And it’s my ex wife that’s taking her. They live 3 hrs away in Knoxville. Teenagers just have brain damage I’m afraid to say….

Simple Man!!!!

April 4th, 2011
2:53 pm

Come on swiss…Not the Barry banner!!!

kimmie

April 4th, 2011
2:54 pm

MC – I immediately wanted to see it because I love ballet and I have always liked Natalie Portman. It was a different story for my fiance’ – he wanted nothing to do with BALLET!LOL!! He likes horror, thriller and action and scifi flicks. He is a movie buff and listens to these podcasts that give movie reviews and heard nothing but good things. Heard that it was a thriller and the ballet part was really kind of incidental. On the dvd back, it describes it as a “psychosexual thriller”. Yes, it is! He quite enjoyed it and so did it!

kimmie

April 4th, 2011
2:59 pm

4 Real – Did you know Natalie is a genius in real life? She has a bachelor’s from Harvard in psychology and has many scientific publications!

czBrat

April 4th, 2011
3:02 pm

Gonna see if a top flight strong willed lady like CZ will fall under the spell of Shoe Shopping, Sea food, and Chante’ Moore.. c’mon wit it. better men have tried and failed. you dudes are not the only ones capable of walking away after you get what you want. :wink:

and while we’re on the subject of movies, the award for the WORST movie i saw last year goes to “the american”. :mad: s/o said that entire movie was made just so chicks could sit and look at george clooney.

Celisea

April 4th, 2011
3:02 pm

MC Hammock – Hang in there…get yaself some switches…lol That might be too late for a 14 y.o…..but you can let miss lady know who’s the daddy

Simple Man!!!!

April 4th, 2011
3:04 pm

Cz..Yo walking away after which part??? :D

For Real aka MC Daequan

April 4th, 2011
3:07 pm

MC: If you have experience any one of these then your wife and daughter are fugging with you:

Change all your setting on cable
Open your beer just enough to let the fizz out
Switching your Dr. Shoals (left one in the right shoe and right one in the left shoe)
Hiding the remote control
Buying you left handed belts
Changing the code to the garage
Cooking your food without salt
Moving the label on your draws to the front
Draw full of socks with no match
Unscrewing the light bulb in the refrigerator
Hiding one of your house shoes
Shrinking your clothes
Never leaving enough toilet paper on the role
Leaving the cap off your toothpaste
Leaving hair in your brush
Moving the seat in your car

czBrat

April 4th, 2011
3:10 pm

for real = stooooooopid!!

simple, i’ll tell you when. you just keep doting.

Lord Velonese

April 4th, 2011
3:13 pm

@WillieD

Negative, she alluded me this weekend, I’m thinking it might be a friday thing. So (crosses fingers) I am hoping I might run into her this Friday.

For Real aka MC Daequan

April 4th, 2011
3:17 pm

Simple Man!!!!

April 4th, 2011
3:23 pm

Cz..I with you sweetness, but all that giggling and these Free Barry azz B. T-shirts are a distraction….

SexyCool

April 4th, 2011
3:39 pm

The Wolfpack is back!

Willie Dynamite

April 4th, 2011
3:41 pm

Swiss – looks like you have a couple of leads for your banner. LV or SimpMan. Personally I’d go for Simp. He already has a few on his lawn whats one more.

4Real – Can’t wait for that movie. Chow is funny as heyal.

czBrat

April 4th, 2011
3:44 pm

no idea what the banner buzz is all about but i find it hard to believe a man of your stature is so easily distracted. are you with me now?

Simple Man!!!!

April 4th, 2011
3:50 pm

Slight distraction my dear….not enough to cause me to loose focus on your freshly painted toes sliding into these prime for summertime 9 West Sling backs…

czBrat

April 4th, 2011
3:58 pm

thanx papa. the michael antonio’s a little more my style. you’re a dear! muah!

Celisea

April 4th, 2011
4:00 pm

B.A.B. in full effect and this thing is just on page 3…lemme stop

Fion

April 4th, 2011
4:01 pm

@Lord Velonese / @ Willie D
“Negative, she alluded me this weekend”

I believe Willie D had it right last week whe he said:
“I can see you now outside some chicks window with nite-vision goggles, boots and a bow-tie on holding a Thank You card.”

I’ve always been one to spot trouble a long way off. I’m going to kick this thing off with $25 towards your Bail money.

Willie Dynamite

April 4th, 2011
4:03 pm

Fellas – dayummmit man, we got a habitual offender. Prepare a B.A.B. production team stat. Skip the banners and T-Shirts this time. It’s time to bring out the big guns.

4Real – call ya cuz “lil bout to be half dead” time for the face tatoo.

Willie Dynamite

April 4th, 2011
4:09 pm

Fion – No bail money from me. I do banners, T-shirts, bumper stickers and the occasional face tatoo. If you need bail money then he too far gone for the masses. All I can say is i hope he like bustin dudes bumps and know how to do corn-rows.

Fion

April 4th, 2011
4:11 pm

Willie D. that’s Cold-Blooded Man!!!!!

For Real aka MC Daequan

April 4th, 2011
4:11 pm

“4Real – call ya cuz “lil bout to be half dead” time for the face tatoo.” – Cool but I have to warn you, he is in to angry tribal stick figures now.

For Real aka MC Daequan

April 4th, 2011
4:14 pm

LV: Come here and let Twan buss that bump and scratch the dead skin off yo feet.

Willie Dynamite

April 4th, 2011
4:18 pm

Fion – but you didn’t call me a liar.

4real – cool only if he can add a bokay, um booqu, ish add some flowers to the stick man and we in bidness. Tell him like last time. 1/2 the $$ now and the rest in Honey buns, and knowing him next week we’ll put sumn on his books for 2 months

Simple Man!!!!

April 4th, 2011
4:19 pm

Damn CZ….All jokes aside, there are some sandals there that I would but FOR REAL!!!

Simple Man!!!!

April 4th, 2011
4:20 pm

Fion

April 4th, 2011
4:21 pm

MCH, on your daughter, one thing I can say, give her a lot of Love and effection. Hugs, tell her what she means to you and your expectations of her.
And one last thing, don’t always or only react when its something negative. this too shall pass.
Keep ya head up.

For Real aka MC Daequan

April 4th, 2011
4:23 pm

“All jokes aside, there are some sandals there that I would but FOR REAL!!!” – Oh my dayum!!! This one right here! This one right here!! All in favor of sympathy killing say “I”

czBrat

April 4th, 2011
4:24 pm

there are some sandals there that I would but FOR REAL!!!

and buy you will.

i’ve booked a day at exhale and an appointment at vibez for tomorrow. i’m sure you’ll be busy running your lil office, so what time will you sending a driver for me, papa?

Fion

April 4th, 2011
4:26 pm

“Oh my dayum!!! This one right here! This one right here!! All in favor of sympathy killing say “I”

For Real, you and Willie D killin me man. Straight killin me!!!!! Funny as hell.

czBrat

April 4th, 2011
4:27 pm

stop it, for real! leave the “man” alone. he’s happy that i’m happy! :)

Fion

April 4th, 2011
4:31 pm

Back on Topic as I Close.

From the movie Ghetto Physics
“All those that ain’t Pimpin’ are being Played”.

“Ciao Baby”

Willie Dynamite

April 4th, 2011
4:32 pm

and buy you will

Oh my dayum is right. This one right here, this one right here. She need some Mgmt. All bull -ishting aside. We got a winner.

Cz – allow me to introduce myself, heres my card. Mr.Dynamite. Personal Income Management Protector. Your services at my disposal

Simple Man!!!!

April 4th, 2011
4:33 pm

CZ..esperate, yo lo voy areglar….:)

Simple Man!!!!

April 4th, 2011
4:35 pm

czBrat

April 4th, 2011
4:37 pm

Mr. Dynamite, i trust you don’t ask the source of the income your protecting, right? good. open an account for me and be prepared to receive a number of sizable deposits over the next few days.

simple, shall we head out for some aperitifs?
i’ll even let you pick the place. subject to my approval of course.

ciao!

Simple Man!!!!

April 4th, 2011
4:41 pm

CZ…I am headed that way, but its hard for me to walk strait with this wool being pulled over my eyes…..

czBrat

April 4th, 2011
4:42 pm

sí papá. por favor, cuida que tus amigitos van arruinar nuestros planes. te esperaré en el carro.

czBrat

April 4th, 2011
4:44 pm

you’re over-thinking things sweetheart. just follow the sound of my voice. now hurry up!

Willie Dynamite

April 4th, 2011
4:49 pm

CZ – done, good girl