City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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Archive for March, 2011

Date check: Chain restaurant test

I read someone lamenting on Twitter about the fact that they had been taken out to dinner at a chain restaurant.  I guess it didn’t go over well.  Would it bother you if your date took you to some horrendous place for a date or to dine?

When you talk about dating compatibility, do you ever think, “Gosh, if we don’t have the same taste in restaurants, it will never work out?”  I’m being facetious, but you would be surprised how this becomes a thing on the dating scene!

I’ve even seen the chain restaurant test to gauge every thing from a person’s personal taste, financial/social status, to snobby attitude checks.  This basically involves suggesting/going to a chain restaurant for the express purpose of getting a reaction.

Now I am a firm believer in having common interests, world outlooks, and values because it’s important to connect on deeper levels.  When it comes to harshly judging each other based on things  like taste in music and food, it seems like an excuse to be elitist …

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In the bedroom: The case for ‘faking it’

I never understood why so many women faked the Big O (O is not for Oprah, obviously).  It just seems like a lose-lose situation, man.  You won’t get what we  all ultimately want and your partner is oblivious to the fact that the chemistry between you two needs a little work.  So why exactly do so many women fake it?  The common answer seems to be because it’s easier..but easier for whom?

Are there certain circumstances that call for you to fake it? Of course, no one wants to make it a habit, but do you think it’s alright to do it when you have no other choice?

One of the most notable scenes about orgasms, like in the history of cinema, is in the movie When Harry Met Sally.  We are still debating whether or not men can tell when it’s really authentic or when it’s fake.  What do you think?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

Continue reading In the bedroom: The case for ‘faking it’ »

How do you get your ex back?

Let’s say you really sabotaged something a really good relationship and you have major regrets. You’ve grown up and learned your lesson and now you are convinced you want another chance with your ex.  How would you get them back?

Such is the dilemma of one of our dear readers, “Jen.”  I have told her that sometimes it’s best to charge one to the “personal growth” game and learn your lesson for the next one.  She is adamant that the one that got away is the best person for her.  So I agreed to petition you creative romantic types: How do you campaign to get your ex back?

Background: Jen dated “Alex” for approximately eight months.  After they had “the talk” around month 6 agreeing to be exclusive, Jen failed to stop the other suitors from pursuing her.  She didn’t confess, she got caught. He’s still angry and won’t take her calls.  What should she do next?

Do you think that you can recover from a bad mistake when your relationship is new and still fragile?  Would you consider …

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Do you lend your honey money?

Dating relationships can sometimes take on marital-type roles.  Whether it’s making joint decisions about where to live, vacation, or even spending money.  A lot of couples figure out that they have some major differences when money becomes an issue.

When a guy I had just started seeing asked to borrow money, I can remember my opinion of him changing a little. I  don’t know if it was the sign of things to come, but his attitude about repaying me didn’t sit well with me at all.  I don’t think it is why we broke up, but it definitely was an eye-opening experience about compatibility.

Money and relationships can be tough for women but I can’t imagine what it’s like for men.  Generally men have a natural desire to provide and protect, but does this apply in dating?  Do men mind loaning money to the women they date? If so, would men raise their gold-digger threat level to green?

Have you ever loaned money to someone you dated? Have you ever asked someone you were seeing for …

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Dating dilemma: Platonic friends

Can men and women truly be friends. Whichever side you think you stand on in this debate, you probably will think twice when you are knee-deep in some situations.

Let’s say your wonderful new romance is getting hot and heavy.  You begin merging your social activities and coordinating outings with friends. You meet and interact with the people that have known your date a really long time.  Then you meet the one (or more??)  they have a history with – the horizontal history, to be more blunt.

Could you be at ease with your date’s platonic friends that are a mainstay in their lives?

I always find that people often say that they aren’t the jealous type and they could trust people who seem trustworthy.  This is tested the most when you find out the “platonic friend” (and she’s says he’s just a friend!) had been intimate with your significant other.

When introducing platonic friends to your date, do you wait for the probing question “Did you two ever hook up?” or do you take the …

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Bad boy attraction, when does it end?

I can’t recall the age when bad boys stop getting so much attention from me.  I’d just take a guess and say it was late 20s, after a restraining order and complete exhaustion from the roller coaster ride that comes with dating the bad boys.  Now, I’m all about the “good dudes” and they are just as sexy.

I think men and women go through phases when we are easily swayed by the hot looks, edgy personality, with a little bit of crazy.  At some point, the appeal starts to wane.  My guy friends say the older they get and the more they stand to lose, the less appealing a “wild” bad girl becomes.

I just believe that as our maturity level goes up, the less tolerant we become. We want sexy, stable dates! Do you think that we all have a little bit of edge to us though?  Do you think you have a bad boy/edgy girl vibe?  Has it worked for you on the dating scene?

I’m sure the bad boy/girl can still turn heads and get your attention, but when does your “moth to a flame” attraction for that …

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How do you pull off going Dutch?

I received an email from one of our male readers seeking some advice.  He wants to know if it’s possible to go Dutch on a date without sending the wrong message.  Is there a way to successfully ask someone out, plan an outing, and go on a date paying your own way or splitting the costs?

Do you think it can be done if you pick the right person and circumstances?

In my experience, going Dutch was only bad because of the “caught off guard” situations.  You know, that time when someone asks you out and don’t mention that they have no intentions of paying your way.  If you know beforehand that you wanted the date to be Dutch, you should say so. Give the person the opportunity to make a fully informed decision before agreeing to it.

What do you think? Does going Dutch automatically mean it’s a “bad” date?  When was the last time you paid your own way on a date?  What did you and how did it come to be a “Dutch” date?

It you had to pick between no date and going Dutch, which would you …

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Career and money keeping you single?

Recently we talked about being too busy to date with our busy schedules and responsibilities.  Some of us admitted that we sometimes use our busy calendars as an excuse not to make real efforts to date.  I also think that a lot of single people believe that putting careers first is a “safer investment” of our time and effort.

When we set out to accomplish our goals of building empires, finding our purpose in life, why  don’t we think of doing all this with a partner? Marriage doesn’t have to be limiting, does it? If you meet someone that could support your endeavors, would that make it easier to merge your lives together?

Do you think too many of us are letting careers and our pursuit of the “American dream” get in the way of long term relationships?

Would you be willing to date someone who has a serious five year plan?

It seems that during their late 20s and early 30s, men want to work first, play later.  Does this play a part in how men date?

Ladies, would you perceive …

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Dating: Is challenging good or bad?

One of the perplexing things I’ve noticed about some men is their propensity to be drawn to challenging women. They are attracted by the ambitious, smart, driven and opinionated type.  Once they are with her, it becomes apparent that she is a challenge for him.  At some point, all these qualities can become the problem in the context of a relationship. Conversely, the powerful, confident and successful man poses the same conundrum.

Do we really want to be with someone who challenges us?  I think we always hope that the person brings out the best in us, but that isn’t always the case. How do we know when being challenged by the person we are dating is a good thing or a bad thing?

Happy Monday!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

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Never getting married? Tell your date!

It can be pretty disappointing when it dawns on you that you have not met the one.  Sometimes you clear those dating hurdles early on and it starts to look promising. You’re starting to feel really good about the prospect of something long-term.

Then it happens.

Perhaps their skeletons come screaming out the of closest. Maybe you find out about some awfully huge lie.  Or you realize that you have met, dated, and started to fall for.. Mr/Miss Never Ever Getting Married.

You start mentally rewinding to find out how you overlooked the signs and missed all those anti-marriage comments.  You wonder how it’s even possible that you ended up dating this person as long as you have without knowing they felt that way.

I’ve been there! This is why you ask key questions. Not in a Nancy Grace “Sir, please answer the question!” kind of way.  The direct approach works best, but there are certainly smooth and subtle ways to find information out.

There are plenty of single people who want to be …

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