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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Dating: Mixed messages turn you on?

According to a recent study,  He loves me, he loves me not: Uncertainty and Attraction, mixed messages can intensify attraction in some people.  That’s odd because it sort of makes me stabby and annoyed.  I end up wishing I never met the ambiguous lad because I’m generally not a fan of he loves me, he loves me not.

It’s possible that I’m just a lazy dater and don’t want to do any work to figure out how a guy feels about me. I remember a time when that is all I ever did, though.  I can’t even count the hours spent deciphering behavior of the men I dated. That was pretty draining so I’m basically not willing to go back to that.

What sort of masochist do you have to be to fall for someone who doesn’t care enough to show you how they feel about you?  Maybe that is a little harsh but what pleasure is there in uncertainty?

How sexy is the cat and mouse game, really? When does it stop being fun and starts becoming a colossal waste of time?

Would you be willing to play the cat and mouse game for someone who just blew you away? Are there rare occasions that you meet someone you feel is worth deciphering mixed messages? Has that ever happened to you?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

249 comments Add your comment

Celisea

March 29th, 2011
3:43 pm

I didn’t buy Steve’s book either but a girlfriend emailed the pdf version. So I read. I frankly didn’t care for his nice way of telling women how to “tailor” relationships to fit a man’s need….or else. I have no problem tailoring to man’s need in the form of an ultimatum. Taking care of home is just what you do because you both have love invested and making a go at it. If it’s gotta lean a particular person’s way, you’ll be chasing that chicken until the next of never. All that mess about ladies if you don’t get this that and other other right he’ll leave. BYE then. I think by now all of us know what to do and how to get it done. I’on want him telling me nothing antyway after cheating, running around and then your 3rd marriage you’re a freaking connoissuer.

Simple Man!!!

March 29th, 2011
3:43 pm

“used to be a MRS..then my Mr. got a Mistress…then he got a Mistres x2.”
DAYYYYYUUUUMMMMM!!! The former Mr. State of mind got a strong Ass Back!!!

kimmie

March 29th, 2011
3:44 pm

Dreams – I don’t see anything wrong with purchasing the book or reading it. I am intelligent and like politics and science and current events. I also like keeping up with pop culture and the latest whatever – to a certain extent. I read different things for entertainment and stress-relief. Steve’s book would fall under that.

But to announce to a date that I’m running my life and dating by Steve Harvey’s book or anything like it – well that’s just …. laughable…then sad. :(

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit :-)

March 29th, 2011
3:45 pm

while me and Mr. had ring side seats to the show down.

:shock:

weeellll aaalrighty then….that must’ve been interesting….

Leggs

March 29th, 2011
3:48 pm

How deep was the cut hearing things from the two of them about your husband?

Simple Man!!!

March 29th, 2011
3:48 pm

Kimmie, Not all women are as well versed, complete and confident as you are :) …. You wanna catch up sometime??? :) :D :)

kimmie

March 29th, 2011
3:52 pm

Simple – Unlike some women I guess, I’m too proud. If I was following The Rules or Steve Harvey, nobody would know about it, especially my man! That’s why I said it’s a little sad.

Celisea

March 29th, 2011
3:53 pm

I have no problem tailoring to man’s need in the form of an ultimatum

I have a problem…is what I meant.

SexyCool

March 29th, 2011
3:54 pm

2% is not “a lot.”

Geechee

March 29th, 2011
3:54 pm

@NY: Sorry for the bad memory.

@Leggs: You’re making me laugh and almost feel like part of the family. I can handle it, but lord I’m feeling a really big burden here.

NY state of mind

March 29th, 2011
3:55 pm

Seriously..Steve Harvey is the Bait & Switch Master.

@Leggs..yeah I married one of the original Ohio players…LOL

kimmie

March 29th, 2011
3:56 pm

SCool – It’s a lot if you’re selling books though! Just give me a dollar for each of those 2 million sold!

Leggs

March 29th, 2011
3:57 pm

SexyCool

March 29th, 2011
3:57 pm

I agree, kimmie. However, it is not the “a lot” that it is made out to be. For every 1 chick that read the book, I can name ten to fifteen that didn’t.

Leggs

March 29th, 2011
3:59 pm

@Geechee ~ everyone gets a shot (at least I hope so). Anyone on here is family (excluding the noticeable trolls)!!

PEACE!

Celisea

March 29th, 2011
3:59 pm

Geechee – but lord I’m feeling a really big burden here.

Don’t. Just jump in.

NY state of mind

March 29th, 2011
4:01 pm

I’m cool…the show down was aired on HBO for $49.95
I did mention that I live in NY…and for my northern’ers ..you do know how much real estate is here. I currently own my brownstone and the Range…thanks to my Mr. who I refer to now as Trick daddy..check mate playa!!

NY state of mind

March 29th, 2011
4:04 pm

@Simple..yes his back was strong as hell…but Alimony/spousal support child support/ pain and suffering and a good old fashion civil suit will cripple a Nucca!!

Celisea

March 29th, 2011
4:08 pm

NYSofM – Careful, some of the male bloggers don’t take to kind to men having to pay alimony/child support. They think that’s the devil :)

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit :-)

March 29th, 2011
4:09 pm

but Alimony/spousal support child support/ pain and suffering and a good old fashion civil suit will cripple a Nucca!!

:lol:

Superman got his kryptonite all kinda ways….

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit :-)

March 29th, 2011
4:10 pm

LOL @ They think that’s the devil….

Simple Man!!!

March 29th, 2011
4:10 pm

Dayum NY!!! That turned out to really be some high dollar STRANGE…

Celisea

March 29th, 2011
4:10 pm

Simple Man!!!

March 29th, 2011
4:11 pm

SexyCool

March 29th, 2011
4:12 pm

It’s looking like I just might close by Thursday. (Keep ya’ fangas crossed and ya’ knees bent.)

Simple Man!!!

March 29th, 2011
4:12 pm

NYSoM, Can I ask how he got caught????

Celisea

March 29th, 2011
4:13 pm

Good for you SexyC

NY state of mind

March 29th, 2011
4:14 pm

Sorry guys..but let that a lesson well learned. The EX NY truly knows what it means when they say “you gotta pay to play” in his case he paid because of his playing. funny but true..dude is currently studying to be a pastor…now all of sudden he found jesus..

Celisea

March 29th, 2011
4:15 pm

NYSofMind – Sounds like the ex got the grits…most times they convert after getting grits tossed on ‘em….lololol

Celisea

March 29th, 2011
4:15 pm

Ask Al Green…ha ha ha

Celisea

March 29th, 2011
4:16 pm

Oh wait, the “Reverend” Al Green. Grits got mo power than Jesus…some say

kimmie

March 29th, 2011
4:16 pm

SCool – I’m so excited for you, I’m claiming it!!

Celisea

March 29th, 2011
4:17 pm

“Everything is gonna be alright”

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

March 29th, 2011
4:17 pm

Yeah…but there are over 150 million women in the United States alone. So…doing the math…well….that’s less than 2% of women in the U.S.
That’s grossly overstating. About 60% of that 150 million aren’t even dating, not including lesbians. That 2 million copies account for more like 10% of the dating female population in the US. That’s sizeable. If you narrow it down by demographic you’re probably looking at much more than 10% of AA women who have read that book.

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

March 29th, 2011
4:19 pm

It’s looking like I just might close by Thursday
Congrats. When’s the housewarming?

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

March 29th, 2011
4:22 pm

dude is currently studying to be a pastor…now all of sudden he found jesus.
Nope, he’s just taking what he did to you and applying it on a much larger scale. He’ll use all those tithes to pay your alimony. lol

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

March 29th, 2011
4:22 pm

Goodnight ya’ll.

SexyCool

March 29th, 2011
4:25 pm

After the painting and the carpeting.

NY state of mind

March 29th, 2011
4:25 pm

Its all good now..its a story we laugh about. It was part of my past and something I cant change. Mr. and I are still cool parents. I’m not bitter and do not believe all men are created equal. I have no intentions on getting married again…but hey you never know…right For Real…LOL

Simple Man!!!

March 29th, 2011
4:26 pm

“dude is currently studying to be a pastor…now all of sudden he found jesus..”

Sounds like buddy Just came up on a quick hustle to get his money back in order….

SexyCool

March 29th, 2011
4:27 pm

Everybody that is a pastor ain’t making big bucks.

Simple Man!!!

March 29th, 2011
4:28 pm

Ok…But there are a WHOLE BUNCH of them that are…..

NY state of mind

March 29th, 2011
4:29 pm

@Dreams..too funny but prob true..LOL

@Simple…when Mistress 1 found out about Mistress 2..she starting talking and the show down began. We literally watched it and they we acting like I (the wife) was just a spector who happened to be driving by an saw a fight. No one acknowledged me..soo funny!

SexyCool

March 29th, 2011
4:30 pm

You guys and these unspecific, unmeasurable terms. “A lot”, “a WHOLE BUNCH”….um, yeah…okay.

NY state of mind

March 29th, 2011
4:31 pm

God forgive my tongue..but if that’s what he has to do to pay my property taxes..he better get to church on time each and every sunday…the doors of the church are now open.

SexyCool

March 29th, 2011
4:33 pm

And the church said, “Amen.”

Simple Man!!!

March 29th, 2011
4:35 pm

SCool…I can’t name them all, but I can run off a few names…LOL

NY state of mind

March 29th, 2011
4:41 pm

Sorry guys about the typos…I have three monitors and one keyboard…I’m not even looking at the monitor where I have this blog pulled up…I should prob pay attention while I’m at work.

Geechee

March 29th, 2011
4:45 pm

E.O.D.

“Well, I believe in the soul, …., the small of a woman’s back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.”

Crash Davis (Kevin Costner), Bull Durham