Dating: Mixed messages turn you on?
According to a recent study, He loves me, he loves me not: Uncertainty and Attraction, mixed messages can intensify attraction in some people. That’s odd because it sort of makes me stabby and annoyed. I end up wishing I never met the ambiguous lad because I’m generally not a fan of he loves me, he loves me not.
It’s possible that I’m just a lazy dater and don’t want to do any work to figure out how a guy feels about me. I remember a time when that is all I ever did, though. I can’t even count the hours spent deciphering behavior of the men I dated. That was pretty draining so I’m basically not willing to go back to that.
What sort of masochist do you have to be to fall for someone who doesn’t care enough to show you how they feel about you? Maybe that is a little harsh but what pleasure is there in uncertainty?
How sexy is the cat and mouse game, really? When does it stop being fun and starts becoming a colossal waste of time?
Would you be willing to play the cat and mouse game for someone who just blew you away? Are there rare occasions that you meet someone you feel is worth deciphering mixed messages? Has that ever happened to you?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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249 comments Add your comment
DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"
March 29th, 2011
1:37 pm
Heyal naw! Mormons don’t drink, so that rules me out off the bat. Plus, they have that “magic underwear” and I prefer to free-ball it…
Watson, as the first suspect to refute his status as the accused, it appears as though we have our first lead. In the absence of a response this may even be concluded prima facie. swiss what say you my friend? Hurry now before this spot of Earl Grey loses it’s aromatic fortitude.
Leggs
March 29th, 2011
1:41 pm
@Celisa ~ sssshhhh, he will never be forgotten (lol).
Willie Dynamite
March 29th, 2011
2:04 pm
Afternoon All
Dayum I need an Alibi to get in the blog now? For the record I was with my Wife Claire on the night in question officer.
Celisea
March 29th, 2011
2:08 pm
Leggs – I know right…LOL
DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"
March 29th, 2011
2:13 pm
Dayum I need an Alibi to get in the blog now?
WillieD Maybe not. Seems the blog done cleared out. Maybe everyone was involved in this. How did I not see it?
For Real
March 29th, 2011
2:17 pm
Hey, I didn’t know she was married. What’s a brother to do? I’m I suppose to ASSUME that ring is a wedding ring? Or am I to ASSUME that family in the picture frame did not come with frame? And I know I am not the ONLY one that get Mrs. and Ms. confused!!!
Dan - Simply....Superior
March 29th, 2011
2:18 pm
For the record, my alibi’s make complete sense….in historical context; if you can remember Hannibal through the Pyrenees and Alps
Lady
March 29th, 2011
2:19 pm
wow…….
For Real
March 29th, 2011
2:20 pm
On topic: Chick like to say they don’t like games when they are the queens of games. What chicks should say is I don’t like for men to play games. If you can determine within 30 minutes whether or not you like a person then something is really, really wrong with YOU!!! It doesn’t take 30 days.
Leggs
March 29th, 2011
2:27 pm
@Dan ~ we don’t need to remember your alibis by referring to historical context. It is your job to state your alibi as clearly and concise as possible, no jibber jabbering!
kimmie
March 29th, 2011
2:27 pm
If you can determine within 30 minutes whether or not you like a person then something is really, really wrong with YOU!!! It doesn’t take 30 days.
4 Real – Tell that to Simple Man. He seems to think it take a long time, beyond 2 dates, to decide if you like someone!
NY state of mind
March 29th, 2011
2:28 pm
@For Real…you do see the MR. before the S..right?
Dan - Simply....Superior
March 29th, 2011
2:30 pm
@Leggs
Actually, it ain’t. If I feel the need for an alibi (read: guilty) then it’s on you to disprove my alibi (be it the logic, location, or legality).
Otherwise, I don’t owe nobody an alibi or explanation; I’m Dan.
Leggs
March 29th, 2011
2:31 pm
No doubt it’s on me to disprove your alibi, but first I have to know what it is. Yep you’re ______________________
Leggs
March 29th, 2011
2:32 pm
And, the need for an alibi doesn’t necessarily mean you’re guilty. It helps to remove guilt away from you!
i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")
March 29th, 2011
2:33 pm
Alright… Sorry, I had to step away for a bit to set some of my hometown idiots straight on FB…
Is this investigation wrapped up yet? Am I free to
go mack on unsuspecting single blogettesgo yet?Leggs
March 29th, 2011
2:35 pm
Blackfoote
March 29th, 2011
2:39 pm
Cat and mice reminds me of the cartoon Tom and Jerry which is hillarious but in real life just don’t jibe. I’ts almost time for me to get off. I missed practically the whole day with y’all today.
How Y’all Doing:
kimmie
March 29th, 2011
2:39 pm
Swiss – You were always free to mack as you wish. Like I told Policia earlier, it’s a free country, we’re all grown and doing nothing illegal! LOL!! Now what Mrs. Swiss has to say about that is on you! LOL!!
For Real
March 29th, 2011
2:39 pm
“Tell that to Simple Man. He seems to think it take a long time, beyond 2 dates, to decide if you like someone!” – Simple Kimmie told me to tell you “it don’t take that long to determine if you like someone. Also, it don’t take 30 days or 4 days to determine if you want to have sex with someone. Kimmie didn’t tell me tell you that tho.
“For Real…you do see the MR. before the S..right?” – Yes but I get confused on is Ms. married and Mrs. is single. Don’t judge me!
kimmie
March 29th, 2011
2:47 pm
4 Real –
Blackfoote
March 29th, 2011
2:47 pm
Talking alibi’s somebody must be in trouble.
Simple Man!!!
March 29th, 2011
2:48 pm
Come on Kimmie…what I said was I can tell in very short period of time whether I like a person or not, but It takes more than a couple of dates to decide If I want to invest in a person long term…Case in point, how many times has EVERYONE on this blog gone out with someone and on the first date the person appeared to be all together…fast forward 4 or five dates and you figure out the car belonged to his brother, and he used his tax money to take you to that concert or she cant get away for the weekend because Squirt has to do community service and all five of the kids stuck at home with her….
Leggs
March 29th, 2011
2:54 pm
So, should they have put all her cards on the table upfront and let you know all this. That way, you can make a decision on if you want to get involved. After 4-5 dates, one may be catching feelings by now?
kimmie
March 29th, 2011
2:59 pm
Simple – But that’s just life. You could discover something on the first date or it may be a year later before you find out a dealbreaker. That’s what dating is, getting to know someone. What is all this about long-term investments? Are you talking about deciding if you want to limit yourself to dating just that one person or are you talking shacking/marriage?
NY state of mind
March 29th, 2011
3:06 pm
@Real..I guess it doesn’t really matter…sometimes the Mr. has a Mistress that the Mrs. didnt know about or the Mrs. pretends she’s a Ms. when a she meets another Mr.
@Simple…Soo funny…I once dated a guy and for two years he told me his car was in the shop…I was young dumb back then.
Simple Man!!!
March 29th, 2011
3:11 pm
Kimmie, I guess it comes as no surprise that I enjoy dating…..In my ideal world, I would have a wife, but that not being the case, I like having two or three peolpe that I date on a semi regular basis. This allows me to have some familarity with the person I am seeing but not to the point of being committed. Like I said earlier, I will not do the Rules, or follow the Steve Harvey outline..We date..Multiple dates I hope at some point I move past that, But don’t understand that thought behind making a exclusive dating choice after one or two dates….
Geechee
March 29th, 2011
3:15 pm
Thanks to all of you for making a benign subject fun & entertaining.
@knockoutblonde: I don’t care for games like most here, but I like the way you think.
kimmie
March 29th, 2011
3:16 pm
Simple – Okay. I’m with Leggs though, after 4 or 5 dates it’s possible that someone could catch feelings. If everyone involved knows up front that they are part of the rotation, yall grown do you.
You keep mentioning the Rules & Steve Harvey. Are you running into a lot of women that subscribe to those methods and actually tell you they are?
NY state of mind
March 29th, 2011
3:18 pm
@KO..I agree w/Geechee
@Real..I look forward to your posts!
Simple Man!!!
March 29th, 2011
3:21 pm
LOL…on a couple of occasions, The topic of dating rules has come up in discussion and I was surprised to see how frank they were in just putting it out there…But those books have sold millions of copies, and I would be willing to bet not a single copy has been purchased by a successfully dating guy!
Leggs
March 29th, 2011
3:22 pm
@kimmie ~ the same lady who old dude was blowing up her phone while he was trying to talk to me told me last week about a book I needed to read. When she pulled out Steve Harvey’s book, I said he’s not saying anything I don’t already know. Won’t be reading that book.
kimmie
March 29th, 2011
3:22 pm
But those books have sold millions of copies, and I would be willing to bet not a single copy has been purchased by a successfully dating guy!
Simple – Not one that likes women anyway!
For Real
March 29th, 2011
3:24 pm
“So, should they have put all her cards on the table upfront and let you know all this. That way, you can make a decision on if you want to get involved.” – This is what I do.
Chick: Soooo, For Real tell me something about yourself.
For Real: I ain’t getting married and I ain’t lookin for a SO.
Chick: Welll Dayum!!! Excuse YOU!!! I don’t need a man!!!!
For Real: Cool! What do you want to eat?
Chick: HUH? WHAT? EAT?
For Real: I’m having the garlic lambs. They are really, really good. You should try it. Oh look that chick over there has on the same dress that you do.
Chick: What don’t try and…. Where?
For Real: Ova there next to the couple with the dude wearing a smoking jacket.
Chick: Oh the lady on the date with the dude with Gary Colman part in his hair?
For Real: Close but look to right of the chick with the lil badonkadonk. Well, it’s okay if you don’t see her. But I know for fact she can’t wear it like you are wearing yours.
Chick: Awwww… Thank you For Real. You are so nice.
For Real: Here I ordered you a sex on the beach.
Chick: How did you know that was my favorite drink?
kimmie
March 29th, 2011
3:25 pm
Leggs – I read Steve’s 1st book because a friend gave it to me. It was an entertaining read, but you are right, nothing a woman with common sense shouldn’t already know. I actually skimmed thru much of it, after a point it got boring. I let a lady in the office borrow it and have not seen it since. I definitely won’t be reading the 2nd one.
Leggs
March 29th, 2011
3:27 pm
Bait and switch (so to speak)…gullible.
But, I see nothing wrong with you stating up front you don’t want to be married, a sperm donor or wanting a SO! If she can dissect that, it’s on her!
For Real
March 29th, 2011
3:29 pm
“I once dated a guy and for two years he told me his car was in the shop…I was young dumb back then.” – Let’s go on a date and we can pretend to be young again. I’ll pick you on my bike.
Leggs
March 29th, 2011
3:29 pm
If she CAN’T dissect that, it’s on her…
Geechee
March 29th, 2011
3:29 pm
Speaking of mistresses and such, have you ever seen the situation where Married Dude has Mistress1 and then sneaks around behind her and gets Misstress2.
Man, hell has no greater fury than when Misstress1 finds out about Misstress2. It’s actually kind of fun to watch from afar.
DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"
March 29th, 2011
3:30 pm
for two years he told me his car was in the shop…
NY state Why you gotta put me on blast in front of the blog like that. My car was in the
impoundshop and I’m stickin to it. Oh and can you bring me a Big Mac when you pick me up from work today?Are you running into a lot of women that subscribe to those methods and actually tell you they are?
kimmie the book sold like 2 million copies, so I’m guessing there are plenty women who subscribe to those rules.
Leggs
March 29th, 2011
3:33 pm
There are a lot of women out there that need something/someone to lean on other than themselves and their own instincts. Don’t really know why these women praise SHarvey. He’s ok, but dayum he ain’t Ghandi!
For Real
March 29th, 2011
3:34 pm
“Bait and switch (so to speak)…” – Not quite it’s more like a superior mind guiding a lesser mind or does that just sound better than gullible?
DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"
March 29th, 2011
3:35 pm
He’s ok, but dayum he ain’t Ghandi!
Yeah I got a book in the making too. Get ready to praise me ladies.
Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit :-)
March 29th, 2011
3:35 pm
He’s ok, but dayum he ain’t Ghandi!
Not by a long shot….it’s not as if he’s saying some new isht but yeah some women need an external source other than common sense and intuition.
Leggs
March 29th, 2011
3:36 pm
@Geechee ~ since you seem to like to laugh at bizzare happenings, I have to leave again at 4. Would you be so kind and leave the E.O.D? If not, regulars you know what to do. Thank you.
Leggs
March 29th, 2011
3:37 pm
Thanks For Real ~ it just sounds better!
DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"
March 29th, 2011
3:37 pm
but yeah some women need an external source other than common sense and intuition.
Apparently alot more than “some”, judging from book sales. lol
SexyCool
March 29th, 2011
3:37 pm
Yeah…but there are over 150 million women in the United States alone. So…doing the math…well….that’s less than 2% of women in the U.S. (assuming that everyone that bought his book were female and the each book sales represents a single book purchased by a single female – as opposed to a purchase of several copies at one time for gifts and the like) that have Steve Harvey’s book.
NY state of mind
March 29th, 2011
3:39 pm
@Real..my badonkadonk is way toooooo big for that bike seat. Fall thru w/the Maybach so that I can ride comfy…thanks!
@GeeChee- I used to be a MRS..then my Mr. got a Mistress…then he got a Mistres x2. The first Mistress went in on Mistress X2..while me and Mr. had ring side seats to the show down. The re-match was played out in Divorce court!!
Miss me w/the bull-ish!
Leggs
March 29th, 2011
3:41 pm
That’s deep, NY!