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Dating on the other side of the tracks?

There was a time when you wouldn’t think of dating outside your socioeconomic class.  According to a lot of people, this is still an issue in modern day dating.  There are still mothers that ask their sons, “Who are her people? What do they do?, ” and if he doesn’t respond with an acceptable profession that signifies affluent wealthy family? Well, that is where things get a little tricky.

Whether you are from a modest, working class family or a wealthy, powerful one, when you make a decision to break from tradition, you have to be prepared for the backlash.  A lot of couples realize they are not built for this and others become closer because of it.  Do you think our upbringing and our socioeconomic status is an issue in your dating life?

Have you ever dated someone that seemed to come from a completely different world than you?  Perhaps you are used to down home, unpretentious surroundings (like me!)  and you met someone who spent their childhood in boarding schools and mansions.  Do you think it could work?

When we talked about family disapproving of the person you were dating, I wondered how this situation would play out once things got to be serious.  Once the family has come to accept your mate, how do you think the cultural and social differences would impact your relationship?

Do you think single people still have to contend with “dating from the wrong side of the track” or has society moved beyond that school of thought?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

361 comments Add your comment

Celisea

March 28th, 2011
12:48 pm

Wealthy folks that are born and bred into that money that replinishes itself and never fully understanding how or where the money came from until someone explains the family history or come to know it. Or their great great great grandpappy made enough money to last until the last person is born in the bloodline…lol THAT’S wealthy. Because you have a corner office and a parking space right outside the door, won’t qualify.

B 4 Real?

March 28th, 2011
12:50 pm

You are either Wealthy or Poor, the wealthy created the middle class concept so people who think they have made it wouldn’t raise hell when they arent invited to the country club.
So, please put more ice in my drink on the way back to your 5 series bmw, Baller!!!

Purple Rain

March 28th, 2011
12:51 pm

Financial status does not deter me from dating a certain individual as long as they are smart with what they do have. When determining a persons background for serious dating I just prefer that she is not an only child and that she comes from a dual parent household in which a good example of how a man and woman should be together was set.

Celisea

March 28th, 2011
12:53 pm

I’m ready to go

Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got THIS T-Shirt and Many More)

March 28th, 2011
12:55 pm

I do think that inherited wealth is far less common than people think. You look at Forbes richest men, and you have a hard time finding a “Rockefeller” in there anymore, and haven’t for awhile. Most of theose mansions on the Gold Coast on Long Island (The Great Gatsby era)were sold decades ago to pay their taxes. Most have been great investors or computer geeks that had a great idea. Most wealthy people I know earned it, by way of thinking of a “better mousetrap”…or busting their azzes 60 – 70 hours per week for years until they made it to the top…or both Usually there was a lot of sacrifice that put them where they are…not always, but most I know paid their price.

For Real

March 28th, 2011
12:55 pm

Wealth is built by each generation. 5 million can turn into a billion if you teach the generations after you to how to make money.

Celisea

March 28th, 2011
12:57 pm

Wealth is built by each generation. 5 million can turn into a billion if you teach the generations after you to how to make money.

yep

kimmie

March 28th, 2011
1:01 pm

Usually there was a lot of sacrifice that put them where they are…not always, but most I know paid their price.

Randy – This is true of those I know. Most were not born into it. Most were not “given” anything. That’s what I meant when I said I come from a family of “hard-working high achievers”. They may not have aquired a lot of wealth, but made enough to at least educate themselves and those after them so they could achieve.

Blackfoote

March 28th, 2011
1:01 pm

@Leggs (12:09) perfect recipe for living. What kind of world would it be if everyone remotely thought the same.

Celsiea good points with the salary figures you make what you can make unless you can write the check.

Celisea

March 28th, 2011
1:03 pm

Hey Blackfoote

Dan - Simply....Superior

March 28th, 2011
1:04 pm

“Promise me you’ll invest, promise me you’ll ball, promise you’ll save three fourths of it all,

cause wealth is the word, rich is around the corner from the curb..”

–Andre Benjamin “Hollywood Divorce”

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

March 28th, 2011
1:05 pm

“Most wealthy people I know earned it, by way of thinking of a “better mousetrap”…or busting their azzes 60 – 70 hours per week for years until they made it to the top”

Those are just the ones you hear about. Or should I say the ones the “old money” want you to hear about so you’ll believe that one of these days, that’ll be ME in that mansion. Hell, most of the folks who claim to be self made actually inherited a sh!t ton (Donald Trump, I’m looking at you). :lol:

Leggs

March 28th, 2011
1:08 pm

@Blackfoote ~ I too wish people were a little more caring for their fellow man!

SexyCool

March 28th, 2011
1:10 pm

I’ve pretty much let go of the idea of *working* my way to riches. I’m all about that MegaMillions now, dawg. (lol)

Seriously though, the measuring stick by which I measure success has changed over the years and it has come less to do with a bank account balance than it does peace of mind. (Although, I am fully aware that a healthy bank account balance can go a long way in establishing peace of mind.)

Blackfoote

March 28th, 2011
1:10 pm

Hey Celisea sorry for spelling your name wrong.

kimmie

March 28th, 2011
1:10 pm

Those are just the ones you hear about. Or should I say the ones the “old money” want you to hear about so you’ll believe that one of these days, that’ll be ME in that mansion.

Swiss – Naw, in the AA community, very few trust fund babies. Most of my people had to work hard. Too many on the outside looking in think the only rich among us are the athletes & entertainers. A lot of hardworking AA success stories out here that are not publicized.

Celisea

March 28th, 2011
1:12 pm

Blackfoote – Hey Celisea sorry for spelling your name wrong.

No problem. It’s just us in here. Don’t mind the typos :)

Purple Rain

March 28th, 2011
1:13 pm

Family Business equals generational wealth. Farming, Livestock, feed and land been that way..3 Generations :) At some point you have to think longterm and not immediate gratification.

kimmie

March 28th, 2011
1:15 pm

At some point you have to think longterm and not immediate gratification.

Purple – So true, but that’s a tough sell in this microwave society we live in today!

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

March 28th, 2011
1:17 pm

kimmie — I think we’re talking about two very different levels of “wealth.” I’m talking about folks who are in that group of 400 individual people in this country who have as much combined wealth as the other 500 million of us put together.

Leggs

March 28th, 2011
1:19 pm

O/T ~ one of the male parents on the track team contacted me via email saying “Hi Beautiful!” I found the email in my junk folder and wondered who this person was. It finally dawned on me who he was. His ex-wife (divorced in 1995) is also one of the parents and we all sit together. I thanked him for the compliment and when he forwarded his phone number to me asking for mine, I had to decline. He sent one other “suggestive” email and I had to tell him straight up that I took offense because he doesn’t even know me. (This is the msg he sent :arrow: Oh you keeping that body tight, so…. I don’t have to worry ,bout you being wore out and out of breathe! You got Milk! :D Lol! Milk,does the body Good.) I see no reason to continue communicating with him because he’s not my type. (In case you’re wondering, he got my email address from the email tree of all the parents.)

I went to a neighboring waterhole with 2 other moms from the team this past Saturday. While we were having our drinks and wings, he called one of the moms. The mom said “he’s been blowing up my phone all week.” We asked who and when she told us I started snickering. I told her he has been contacting me as well and even asked if I felt anything for him. She talked for a min then asked if I wanted to say hello. I said sure. Now, you guys may tackle me for this, but this is how I felt. I wanted to say hello simply to call foul on him attempting to sample the water in our small pool to see which one of us would bite. Sure, he can contact anybody he likes, but I wanted him to know that we are hip to him trying to strike up a conversation with the both of us at the same time….had to call foul on the play!

I already know who will pounce first!

Leggs

March 28th, 2011
1:19 pm

Oops, longer than I thought.

kimmie

March 28th, 2011
1:19 pm

Swiss – Gotcha.

Purple Rain

March 28th, 2011
1:21 pm

kimmie, I agree.

kimmie

March 28th, 2011
1:22 pm

Leggs – Yuck! That’s the only word I could think of to describe dude. No finese at all.

And you have the right to feel the way you want to feel.

Purple Rain

March 28th, 2011
1:23 pm

Well Leggs, I promise you one of those very women at that table have hooked up with him or will. He’s single the ladies are single who cares how he tries to mingle. LOL

Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got THIS T-Shirt and Many More)

March 28th, 2011
1:26 pm

@ im swiss…not my experience and I was a stockbroker with two major firms for 14 years and knew a lot of rich people. There were some who were 2nd generation, but not a long line of generationsof “old money”. There is a saying that the time from “shirtsleeves to shirtsleeves” is three generations…from the time the one built the wealth, til the descendents pizz it away.

My richest client when I was a broker for Paine Webber was running the family business for his brother and sister. His father was an itinerant coal miner. who had a talent for driving big equipment. One day the company his father was working for bought a new digger and asked him to drive it. Instead he proposed that they sell it to him instead of paying him his wages, he would drive it for them during the week…and on the weekend it was his to use. He saved enough to buy a small mining rights holding (by earning money on the side with the barefisted fighting matches) and he would mine and the mother would drive the truck on Saturdays and Sundays. Worked his butt off…and sold it in the 70’s for the paltrey sum of 89 million dollars.

This is what I have seen more of.

SexyCool

March 28th, 2011
1:26 pm

Leggs – what is most unfortunate about that whole deal is that o’girl won’t see it for the foolishness that it is. Instead, she will get a rush that she *won* him and will miss this very important clue into it’s character for what it is.

Buddy was throwing out bait left and right and hoping for a nibble.

Purple Rain

March 28th, 2011
1:28 pm

Leggs, you got milk! I don’t have to worry about you being wore out and out of breath! LOL

On a more serious note I would watch the guy around you alls daughters if he is that horny he may just be eyeing the little girls as well.

Purple Rain

March 28th, 2011
1:30 pm

A lot of generational wealth up here in the farmlands and also when they started discovery oil up here in the last few decades has really boosted an already stable economy for land owners

For Real

March 28th, 2011
1:31 pm

Swiss: Exactly and those are the ones always talking about pulling themselves up by their own bootstraps.

Leggs

March 28th, 2011
1:32 pm

@PR ~ I promise you this as well…neither of the ladies at the table with me that night has or will hook up with him. Out of the 3 of us, no one likes him like that, and one is married w/no intentions of cheating!

Blackfoote

March 28th, 2011
1:32 pm

LOL…..@Leggs threw out the red challenge flag.

Celisea

March 28th, 2011
1:32 pm

Leggs – No foul calling here….on nobody but him. You should have put him on blast. Yeah, if ole girl is asking if you’re feeling, clearly she’s interested….even though it’s been revealed that he’s shady.

Leggs

March 28th, 2011
1:32 pm

@PR ~ I watch all men around my daughter.

kimmie

March 28th, 2011
1:33 pm

Purple, you’re right about watching the daughters! That’s actually one of the things that popped in my head when reading her post! :(

Celisea

March 28th, 2011
1:33 pm

@Leggs threw out the red challenge flag.

How bout a can of blackflag for him being an insect.

SexyCool

March 28th, 2011
1:34 pm

“if ole girl is asking if you’re feeling, clearly she’s interested”

Double co-sign…even though you obviously feel strongly that he will get no play. Me not so sure.

Purple Rain

March 28th, 2011
1:34 pm

I laugh at the whole “Put On Blast” that women do. That does not bother men at all, if anything it’s more advertising. LOL A smart man knows that women in a certain circle will talk to each other. He was probably banking on that and seeing who would bite. LOL

Celisea

March 28th, 2011
1:35 pm

you’re right about watching the daughters!

Something I’ve always been in tune with. Not saying I’m not a good judge of character but that’s why, my kid turning 16 in 2 weeks, have only met 2 other dudes outside of her dad. Ut uh, don’t play that.

kimmie

March 28th, 2011
1:35 pm

Yep, he’ll get play.

Leggs

March 28th, 2011
1:36 pm

@Celisea ~ he was asking me if I was feeling him. I wanted to put him on blast, but I’m working on my people skills (LOL). I just needed him to know that I knew. I’m not your bait and switch type of gal.

Yes, shady’s a good word in this instance…as well as STUPID!

kimmie

March 28th, 2011
1:38 pm

Purple – Laugh if you want. Sleaze will attract weak.

Celisea

March 28th, 2011
1:38 pm

PR – I laugh at the whole “Put On Blast” that women do. That does not bother men at all, if anything it’s more advertising.

Not for his sake but the women. Just a repellant though for him. Clearly if he’s not good, he’ll just move that behavior to the next circle. No need in my circle though tolerating or entertaining the bug man.

SexyC – That’s what I gathered too when she asked Leggs if she was interested. Just finding out that you’re trying to hit on me and another lady in the circle is reason enough to shut it down…all the way.

Purple Rain

March 28th, 2011
1:39 pm

Leggs reference your 1:32, I would not make that promise. Women are not always honest with their other lady friends. One will hook up with him and enjoy it but when its brought up in the womens convo she will still talk bad about him…but yet will go see him right after you all disperse. Not saying this is a bad thing just saying that’s how it is.

Also, outside of him being so direct in the initial email I don’t see anything wrong with him trying to see which one he can get. No different than walking up to a table of ladies in a lounge/bar/club or AppleBee’s …put some words out there to the whole group and see which lady responds. Nobody at this table…turn around and go to another. LOL

Celisea

March 28th, 2011
1:39 pm

Leggs – he was asking me if I was feeling him

Gotcha.

SexyCool

March 28th, 2011
1:40 pm

Exactly…and certainly no need for me to question your feelings.

Purple Rain

March 28th, 2011
1:40 pm

kimmie, and if a man does something to warrant being put on blast he probably already views those involved as “sleeze” He is not looking for wife material because if he were doing something to be put on blast would not have occurred.

SexyCool

March 28th, 2011
1:40 pm

Oh..okay…gotcha x 2. (lol)

For Real

March 28th, 2011
1:42 pm

“Women are not always honest with their other lady friends. One will hook up with him and enjoy it but when its brought up in the womens convo she will still talk bad about him…but yet will go see him right after you all disperse.” – Happens everyday and twice on Sundays.