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Dating: Do you breakup when it gets boring?

I tend to get on my guy friends who bounce around from women to women, then whine about not having a special woman in their lives.  I can understand not staying with someone they have no future with, especially when it’s obvious they are not compatible.  I am bothered when they say that things got dull or boring.  Did they ever stop to think that women get bored too?

When you decide to become exclusive and only date each other, that oh so thrilling roller coaster ride that is dating stops. Oddly enough, some of us miss that dizzying ride and yearn to have that same kind of uncertainty in relationships.  By definition, that is the opposite of what we say we want!

Do you think that it’s a good idea to dump someone when things get dull? Do you expect your dating relationship to always entertain you?

What  kind of excitement would keep a man interested in a woman? How should a man broach this subject with someone he is dating, or should he?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

400 comments Add your comment

chink

March 24th, 2011
10:33 am

SCool

I don’t know …that’s why I advised on what she could do to ease her financial burden!

If I had the answer I bet alot of Single Parents would be Happy!!

Purple Rain

March 24th, 2011
10:38 am

Yet another reason we moved back home. My child will not be going to a daycare($$$ and I don’t know the caregivers), the baby will stay on the farm with family members

SexyCool

March 24th, 2011
10:39 am

Yeah…no…we’re looking at this from two different angles. But I get what you’re saying.

And since I’m really not trying to have a child support discussion today, I will leave it at that.

In other news, I’m beginning to think I should be able to close on my house….say…..sometime before Christmas. Sheesh….

kimmie

March 24th, 2011
10:40 am

Purple Olive – When is the little olive due?

AmazonRed™

March 24th, 2011
10:41 am

There was a very good daycare by my job Cobb County. All my coworkers sent their kids there. There was a waiting list and everything. Cost: $1200 per month for one child.

Purple Rain

March 24th, 2011
10:42 am

May 12th!!!!!!

Leggs

March 24th, 2011
10:44 am

@ARed ~ a co-worker was telling me her daycare woes. That same afternoon V103 was having a contest to pay people’s daycare expenses that month. I entered with a little essay re: my co-worker. Her name was called the next day. She tried to hug me each time she saw me in the hallway. Ater the 3rd one, I had to ask her to stop. We both laughed. Yeah, I don’t only enter contests for myself.

AmazonRed™

March 24th, 2011
10:44 am

I want to have fun, go out, be social…not everyday but at least once in awhile. Sitting on the couch all the time is not my idea of fun.

So why didn’t you do that anyway? Why did your man have to do all that with you?

Leggs

March 24th, 2011
10:45 am

$1200 per month – highway robbery!!! They better feed, cloth, potty train and wake up in the middle of night with that child!

Purple Rain

March 24th, 2011
10:45 am

Yet another reason people should be more responsible…having kids without thinking of all the costs.

kimmie

March 24th, 2011
10:45 am

Dang Leggs, you are a lucky lady!

Sweet Pea

March 24th, 2011
10:46 am

Awww Sweat Pea, I see you said it’s a two-way street too.

Pulling the curtains open to take a peek…Leggs, it’s a two-way street most definitely and finding a happy medium to maintain a relationship is what creates staying power. Love that song too! :)

You decide to company her on her excurssions, but she doesn’t on yours. What then?

MCH~ Have you expressed your feelings about this to her? I’ve found that my parents do things separately at times and it works for them…My dad loves to go to movies while my mom loves concerts. If the other half still refuses to participate after much effort on your behalf then I’d say go solo! Personally, I became single by default after much counseling and endless attempts to communicate. Of course, I am an advocate of marriage I wish you well.

Shutting the curtains w/ my two fanga in the air!

Purple Rain

March 24th, 2011
10:46 am

Is an orgasm worth all of that are her breast really that nice butt really that fine, personality really that great? Think before you Stick!

Sweet Pea

March 24th, 2011
10:47 am

oops…fangas

AmazonRed™

March 24th, 2011
10:47 am

Yeah, if I had a $1200 a month childcare bill, it would be more financially beneficial to quit my job, take care of my kid myself an live off the county. :?

chink

March 24th, 2011
10:48 am

$300 a week seems a little excessive for a baby…

But some parents can get assistance from the state for child care.

AmazonRed™

March 24th, 2011
10:48 am

Yet another reason people should be more responsible…having kids without thinking of all the costs.

Absolutely. I pay more than I want to for my bc pills every month…but it shooooole is cheaper than the alternative if I don’t pay. :lol:

AmazonRed™

March 24th, 2011
10:48 am

chink – Mind you that is a very good child care. Most aren’t that expensive, but not as good either.

Purple Rain

March 24th, 2011
10:49 am

Celisea

March 24th, 2011
10:51 am

I am not for putting deadbeats in prison.

I’m not either but allowing them to remain deadbeats with no accountability won’t exactly help. I’m so happy that I’m beyond the daycare years. You definitely need to think about expenses involved when having kids. Because once you move from diapers and milk and baby food and daycare, it’s on to things like making sure they’re well kept once they attend school (i.e. afterschool programs, ms jane that keeps kids, the kid’s grandmother, etc). From there it’s on the paying as much for their clothes and upkeep as yours. From there it’s on to attitudes and keeping ‘em in check because they know absolutely NOTHING about live and living, although they believe they do. And against society and how it dictates you should rear your child and making them aware that it’s your dang house and it’s your rules….or else….raising kids ain’t no joke. I will say though, the baby/toddler/younger years are the more expensive years. If you can weather that part, you’ll do just fine…..and that’s my .02 cents for tday :)

Celisea

March 24th, 2011
10:52 am

I’m actually enjoying these years with my kid…16 in 2 weeks :)

Leggs

March 24th, 2011
10:53 am

@kimmie ~ so I’ve been told. I’ve won lots of things. My first win started with V103 with this clue: I sit in a nook, what am I? Back then everyone had microwaves in a nook in the kitchen (LOL). I won and mailed it to Mama.

Still waiting to win a car (lol). Now I’m playing “cold cut artist” of the day to try to win Prince tickets.

chink

March 24th, 2011
10:55 am

Celisea

I know very well …I have a 10 year old.

I didnt say don’t file for c.support etc…just don’t make it the only way to get more money.

kimmie

March 24th, 2011
10:55 am

My beau and I do things seperately all the time. We both bring different interests and friends to the table. We also do quite a bit together. And quite a lot with the kids. There is a whole lot between the two of us to keep things interesting. We actually would welcome a lull every now and then. Like M dot said, balance. Too much of anything is not always good.

AmazonRed™

March 24th, 2011
10:56 am

I read this quote on one of the (single) mom blogs I read:

“I love my kid to death, but I don’t like being a mom.”

As someone who is still on the fence about having kids, this scared the wits out of me.

COME ON NOW

March 24th, 2011
10:57 am

“So why didn’t you do that anyway? Why did your man have to do all that with you?”

ARed-I wasn’t looking at him as my sole source of fun or entertainment. As I also stated, that wasn’t the only reason why our relationship fell apart. I have girlfriends and we like to go out, and I have a life outside of my relationships. I am perfectly content chilling at the house with my SO. But let’s be real, everyone wants to do things with their SO. Yes you may not NEED to go out but experiencing different things with your SO is something that everyone wants. But when someone puts forth NO effort in a relationship, when they completely become something other than whay they portrayed themself to be, who is going to stay around for that? I know that relationships have ebbs and flows, but like I said, it takes 2.

SexyCool

March 24th, 2011
11:01 am

So…she should work a part time job? Resulting in:

a. Being away from her child and having less time to actively parent
b. Increasing her child care costs

Or..perhaps she should go back to school and “degree up”? Which, in the long term, will result in some benefit. However, in the short term, it results in….See a. and b. above.

I know that there are no easy answers/resolutions in this matter.

chink

March 24th, 2011
11:02 am

ARed

Thats absolutely terrible!! I feel blessed to have a child …nothing like being a Parent but its not for everyone its work but oh so sentimental. Most resentment comes from doing it alone not the kids…I think that applies to both single and married folks…the constant theme is the lack of support…

Leggs

March 24th, 2011
11:03 am

That is why I don’t understand those with meager salaries having 2-4 children. Raising one child is no joke. It’s a little easier after they get out of daycare, but man there are so many other expenses in raising one crumbsnatcher. If you can barely feed yourself, what makes you think you take on the responsibilities of raising a child.

You’re right, PR, think before you let yourself be sticked!!!

Leggs

March 24th, 2011
11:05 am

@ARed ~ don’t let that scare you. Sure, many moms may think that after the child arrives. Pay attention to only the positive.

I love being a Mom! The job is exhausting, and not always rewarded, but the benefits are beyond anything you can ever imagine!

chink

March 24th, 2011
11:05 am

SCool

There are no easy answers ..theres just sacrifice and you have to choose.

PrincessNik

March 24th, 2011
11:09 am

“But the daycare bill and being a sole provider is a real and serious thing”

I know i’m all late, but CO-SIGN!

Like Fantasia’s song said:
I see you get that support check in the mail lookin like WTH, this aint even half of daycare….

However, I do what i Have to do to get it taken care of, but I can’t wait til I no longer have to worry about that.

chink

March 24th, 2011
11:10 am

Leggs

Lets not forget there are plenty of successful woman who want children …don’t have a man ..and have procedures / adopt and are happy!

SexyCool

March 24th, 2011
11:11 am

Yeah…we had that whole sacrifice versus responsibility conversation last week as well.

AmazonRed™

March 24th, 2011
11:13 am

Thats absolutely terrible!!

I don’t think it’s terrible, I think it’s honest. Everyone says parenting is the hardest job out there. Well, if we complain about our easier jobs, it shouldn’t be so taboo to say, it’s not so much fun all the time.

I understand the reward is greater.

There is an infamous “Dear Abby” column where many readers wrote back in response saying that if they had to do it all over again, they wouldn’t have had kids. It’s just taboo to actually admit such a thing.

Purple Rain

March 24th, 2011
11:17 am

Well….I am going to bow out of this conversation now. Toodle Lou ladies. LOL

chink

March 24th, 2011
11:17 am

Nobody said it was fun all the time…too me you are just looking at the surface…it is so much more.

How would you feel if your mother said she wish she never had children…its a terrible thing to say.

Thats not honestly to me thats selfishness if that was the case give your child up for adoption someone will appreciate them if not you.

Purple Rain

March 24th, 2011
11:17 am

Just realized I was the only guy in here during this women talk so I have to go. LOL

chink

March 24th, 2011
11:18 am

PR

I think the topic of c.support ran them off….

PrincessNik

March 24th, 2011
11:19 am

Leggs, I have to agree with your 11:03, when i pull up to pick up lil mama, and i see parents with multiple kids in daycare like under age 4 driving big fancy SUV’s i’m always like :shock: especially in this economy.

AmazonRed™

March 24th, 2011
11:20 am

How would you feel if your mother said she wish she never had children…

Uh…she didn’t say it to her kid.

But i’m grown and realize it’s not so easy and sometimes you raise your kids and they aren’t really about ish. That’s a lot of sacrifice for that result. :lol:

But if my mom were bold enough to say it to me, I’d live. I’d realize it’s not really about ME anyway.

SexyCool

March 24th, 2011
11:21 am

I tell you…just having a four month old puppy is enough to make me *and* TheDude give some real thought to the kid thing.

Purple Rain

March 24th, 2011
11:21 am

I’m really happy to be home and I rally hope we have a boy so that I can get him dirty and he can just ride with me as I work the fields. Life is great! My wife works outside of the home I work “at home” If it’s a girl I would still get that quality time but she would me more around my mama and aunts as I worked outside. But if it’s a boy he will attached to me at all possible times..learning and living the country way! I am so excited, I try and play it down around my wife but I can not wait. It’s like I have a brand new best bud on the way who likes everything I like.

AmazonRed™

March 24th, 2011
11:22 am

Thats not honestly to me thats selfishness if that was the case give your child up for adoption someone will appreciate them if not you.

chink – Are you actually reading what was said? Or are you just on your emotional soapbox?

What she said is she LOVES HER CHILD to death. But she doesn’t like being a mom.

Adoption? Like the foster system isn’t filled with kids who can’t get adopted? How bout you made em, you raise em. Take responsibility for the choice you make. She is.

Leggs

March 24th, 2011
11:23 am

@SexyC ~ it was only a matter of time before you would say something along those lines (lol).

@PR ~ you’re free to change the topic, remember this is Throwdown Thursday not Freakum Friday!!!!

Purple Rain

March 24th, 2011
11:23 am

SexyCool, that’s why I got two pups at once. They keep each other busy! Won’t do that with kids though. LOL Daycare for the dogs is letting them run the fields all day until chow time or just looking them in a cage. PRICELESS!

Willie Dynamite

March 24th, 2011
11:24 am

Morning All,

Good topic, The concept of boredom in a relationship can either be very complex or very simple. Some people have no problem with it and some have HUGE problems with it. The crux of the matter IMO comes in the choosing/Dating stage. Of course you have some people that will pull the old bait and switch on you but thats part of the deal. Before you enter into that LTR or marriage for that matter take a look at the things that genuinely make you happy. If those things are superficial and and/or dependant upon short term circumstances then chances are you’ll have problems down the road. Your mate is not obligated to provide entertainment for you, BUT your Mate should be entertaining to you. Be realistic in your expectations as well as flexible. Take it upon yourself to be entertaining. Be open to communication (talk with not AT when sharing your thoughts). Some of us are not selfless enough to understand the concept of give to get.

Purple Rain

March 24th, 2011
11:24 am

Leggs, first off I have toned down my freaky convo tons. Secondly who made you the rule maker. Third and not the least…I don’t follow rules…especially from Ms New Booooty

PrincessNik

March 24th, 2011
11:24 am

I am so excited, I try and play it down around my wife but I can not wait. It’s like I have a brand new best bud on the way who likes everything I like.

awwww, thats so cute. C-Lo you seem to have done a big change from your first days around blogsville :)

Lady~Spring is Beautiful!

March 24th, 2011
11:25 am

poppin’ back in…..briefly…