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Do you lend your honey money?

Dating relationships can sometimes take on marital-type roles.  Whether it’s making joint decisions about where to live, vacation, or even spending money.  A lot of couples figure out that they have some major differences when money becomes an issue.

When a guy I had just started seeing asked to borrow money, I can remember my opinion of him changing a little. I  don’t know if it was the sign of things to come, but his attitude about repaying me didn’t sit well with me at all.  I don’t think it is why we broke up, but it definitely was an eye-opening experience about compatibility.

Money and relationships can be tough for women but I can’t imagine what it’s like for men.  Generally men have a natural desire to provide and protect, but does this apply in dating?  Do men mind loaning money to the women they date? If so, would men raise their gold-digger threat level to green?

Have you ever loaned money to someone you dated? Have you ever asked someone you were seeing for financial support?

Do you think there are a few tips or guidelines for loaning your honey money?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

Would you lend money to someone you are dating?

View Results

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232 comments Add your comment

COME ON NOW

March 14th, 2011
7:37 am

Good morning,

This is interesting because my first reaction is to say no, simply because i’ve done it before and it left a SUPER sour taste in my mouth because of my ex’s attitude about the whole thing. But I guess it depends on the situation. I’ve never asked any man I’ve dated for a loan so I expect them to do the same. Plus, I honestly think I would probably look at my man differently. I personally don’t know any man who would even feel comfortable asking their chick for money. But if I were ever going to do it again, it better be a DIRE situation. Literally like life or death.

PrincessNik

March 14th, 2011
7:46 am

Good Morning,

A lesson I learned long ago don’t LOAN what you can’t afford to GIVE, now of course that goes for money to significant others, and anybody else. Now as far as the topic I won’t say I would NEVER do it, but it is VERY highly unlikely, especially if it is someone that we haven’t been dating all that long. I personally will go to family first if there is a situation that I need to borrow money, and even then it would have to be something major.

Chink

March 14th, 2011
8:05 am

I don’t like saying never so the probability of that happening is zilch. If I need money I borrow it from the bank/credit card…I dont ask folks for money so anyone asking me better have a heck of reason. And I have a limit usually so if I don’t get it back its ok but don’t ever ask me again!

Whenever you mix money and family/personal it gets messy…why not just get a loan if you can’t get one than you have more problems than needing money ..usually its “easier” to ask family/friends because you don’t have major consequences for not paying back.

precious rambo

March 14th, 2011
8:06 am

Will make a secured loan, and charge interest,just like the pawn shop. Documented and witnessed too!

the easter bunny

March 14th, 2011
8:19 am

There is absolutely nothing wrong in lending your honey money. A much larger detrimental situation is your honey having humongus bills that you are unaware of until the relationship is far along. There are some people that will spend everything in sight. I am careful with money, I like to spend on what is needed, I got into dental work at one of those chain dental clinics, they can lift the money out of a wallet quicker than a flim, flam, thank you mam gold digger.

LL411

March 14th, 2011
8:40 am

My honey and I have never “had to” borrower from each other, but each knows the other has their back. The good news is we both are fiscally responsible, so asking to borrower to pay a light bill would be looked at sideways…in our world. If we see/sense the other is in real need it’s given without anyone having to ask.

Simple Man!!!!

March 14th, 2011
8:50 am

Hmmmmm…Interesting topic as just this weekend, a “friend” asked to borrow $1800.00 to repalce a transmission in her car…. Kinda torn as to if I want do it…Her need is legit, but DAMN!!!!!

COME ON NOW

March 14th, 2011
8:56 am

I have a real issue asking for ANYTHING let alone money. And I don’t know how someone is going to “sense” that I’m low on funds unless I’m hinting around to it which seems a lil sneaky to me. I think I just have too much pride. But to each his own. I just can’t do it.

Simple Man- $1800.00….Double DAMN!!

PrincessNik

March 14th, 2011
8:56 am

Simple Man

:shock: whoa

Simple Man!!!!

March 14th, 2011
8:59 am

And the sad part is, we are cool. but not nearly like that!!! In fact we are not even on a “spend the night after the deed” level!!!

COME ON NOW

March 14th, 2011
9:02 am

Simple Man—so then why are you hesitating? That would be a NO

Chink

March 14th, 2011
9:05 am

Boils down to being responsible with your money and having savings for emergencies such as “replace transmission”…and if you dont usually you can do a payment plan with the auto shop/etc.

Leggs

March 14th, 2011
9:06 am

Good morning. No matter the circumstance, I couldn’t bring myself to ask ANYONE for $1800.

Depending on the circumstances, I will lend my honey $$.

PrincessNik

March 14th, 2011
9:09 am

C.O.N, your 8:56 that is so me also! I don’t like to ask anyone for anything and try to keep my fiscal issues to myself, be it plenty to spare or just enough to make it.

COME ON NOW

March 14th, 2011
9:13 am

PrincessNik-Yeah, I don’t discuss my financial issues with anyone. Plus, that’s why I have a savings…so that when things come up I don’t even have to flinch, I can pay for it myself. I guess it makes me feel weak if I have to ask someone for money. My exes have always said that they got me if I need it but I don’t like the feeling of oweing anyone ANYTHING.

AmazonRed™

March 14th, 2011
9:19 am

Morning all -

Dating relationships can sometimes take on marital-type roles.

Well, I guess that’s why my relationships never go too long or too deep because I refuse to live the married life while just dating.

I have never ever ever loaned or given a guy money and no guy has ever asked. Nor have I ever asked for any money from a guy. I can’t even imagine how something like that would go!

SlimNumeroUno

March 14th, 2011
9:27 am

Good morning,

I have lent money to an SO in the past when I had it to give. However, I would not want to get in the habit of them always asking…

Simple – Maybe you can just give her some of the cash but not necessarily the whole $1800. Tell her that’s all you have to spare and let her figure out the rest..

Celisea

March 14th, 2011
9:31 am

Morning,

Would I loan my honey money? Absolutely NOT. Sorry but that’s just point blank. I don’t borrow from a honey and I don’t loan. I’ve cohabitated but even then we worked out household finances and sometimes that’s hard to separate but even so, there was never hey babe can you loan me such and such. Now I’ve had a honey that would say won’t you stop and pick this or that up for me. Something of that nature is not a problem.

Simple Man!!!!

March 14th, 2011
9:33 am

Morning ARed!!

“I can’t even imagine how something like that would go!”

Goes something like this:

Chick: Can I talk to you about something?
Simple: Yeah whats up…..
Chick: I took my car to get serviced a couple days ago and they told me That I needed to get my Tranny rebuilt…
Simple : Wow! How long is that gonna take?
Chick: They said a new one would take a couple of weeks because It would need to be ordered, but that could rebuild to old one in about 4 or 5 days…..
Simple: Are you gonna be ok with that??? Will you be able to get to work?
Chick: Thats not the problem…The new one is close to 3 grand, but They came do the rebuild for about 1800….
Simple: Really????
Chick: I hate to ask you this, but do you think you can help me out with that????
Simple: with WHAT???
Chick: The 1800????

Simple did not answer because First of all I was naked, and secondly, Her ability / willingness to ask such a thing took my breath away!!!!

Simple Man!!!!

March 14th, 2011
9:36 am

Slim..The way I figure it, It would have to be all or none….I would be the same sucker for 900 as I would for 1800…..

Leggs

March 14th, 2011
9:38 am

OMG, SimpleM, I just choked on my Frosted Flakes spilling milk from my mouth onto my keyboard!

AmazonRed™

March 14th, 2011
9:38 am

LOL @ Simple Man…I’m more talking about a dude asking me for some cash. I think it would be a while before I snapped out of the —-> :| face.

COME ON NOW

March 14th, 2011
9:40 am

Simple–That’s a straight up sucka move. Problem #1: Asking for that amount of money. Problem #2: The fact that she did while y’all were doing the “do” (unless I have misinterpreted this part). She obviously thinks your relationship has evolved to the point that she could ask you such a question. Does this make you look at her differently? Does it make you reevaluate the status of your “friendship”?

AmazonRed™

March 14th, 2011
9:49 am

The one time I took money from a dude was on a date to an Indian Casino. I was a broke intern and had no intention of parting with my paltry salary to gamble! So I was cool with watching and taking in the sites. He gave me $200 and told me just to enjoy myself.

Well, I lost his $200 in about 30 minutes. I felt TERRIBLE and was intent to at least win his money back somehow. So I withdrew $40 of my own and hit the slots. God took pity on me and I won $750!

So I happily skipped back to where dude was and gave him half of my winnings. He was thrilled! He didn’t expect me to share any of my winnings with him (nice guy! :lol: ). Heck, we were gambling seperately, so I could have told him I lost it all and kept the winnings for myself! :lol: I was just glad I was able to give him my money back, plus interest. He said he’d knew I’d be lucky. Good gamble. :lol:

AmazonRed™

March 14th, 2011
9:50 am

*give him HIS money back, plus interest.

Leggs

March 14th, 2011
9:53 am

Good for you, ARed. I would have done the same thing.

Fion

March 14th, 2011
9:53 am

It’s a sure sign of the apocalypse, I actually agree with something AmazonR said.
“I refuse to live the married life while just dating”.

“Do men mind loaning money to the women they date?” Absolutely! This one does.

Ay, we are dating, I’m not looking for obligation and responsibility for ya.
That’s territory reserved for a WIFE.

I’m responsible for me, you be responsible for you.

I have to go lay down now!

Lady J

March 14th, 2011
9:54 am

WOW~!

Morning!

Simple Man!!!!

March 14th, 2011
9:54 am

C.O.N., The truth is there is NO chance that I would ever give HER that or any amount of money… She is cool and everything, but she is also the type that we view and sort of assistance as cart blanche’ to put her hand out all day every day!!! But also in the spirit of complete honesty, If she would have asked about 15 to 20 minutes earlier, she may have been able to get something on it!!! LOL

AmazonRed™

March 14th, 2011
9:55 am

It’s a sure sign of the apocalypse, I actually agree with something AmazonR said

:?

Sounds to me you finally wised up then.

PrincessNik

March 14th, 2011
9:55 am

I’m responsible for me, you be responsible for you

@ Fion, this reminds me of something I just told my sister last week, there is no community property outside of marriage.

Leggs

March 14th, 2011
9:58 am

Still laughing at her asking why you two were dancing between the sheets. Why she thought that was a good time to ask is comical at best!

SlimNumeroUno

March 14th, 2011
9:58 am

Ared – Dayum chica…Um…I have this nice crisp $5 bill. You think you can flip that for me because mama needs a tune-up? lol

Simple – So how did you get around not giving her an answer at all? She didn’t come back like, Well, can you hook a sistah in need up?

AmazonRed™

March 14th, 2011
9:59 am

Ared – Dayum chica…Um…I have this nice crisp $5 bill. You think you can flip that for me because mama needs a tune-up? lol

I wish! I haven’t been that lucky since! I went to Vegas back in October and lost my damn shirt! (almost literally :lol: )

Lady J

March 14th, 2011
10:00 am

right Leggs! LMBAO @ that too funny! the game is fierce!

Safer Dates

March 14th, 2011
10:01 am

Loaning your honey money usually depends on the situation. That said, it’s a HUGE red flag if your honey asks to borrow money in the beginning of your relationship.

kellibean

March 14th, 2011
10:04 am

This can be a very touchy thing. My SO and I borrow small amounts from each other, but pay it back within a few days. It’s no big deal to us because it usually is anywhere from $5 to $20.

A few years ago, I was dating a guy for about 2.5 years when we picked up a stray cat that got really sick. I was not living with my BF and he was adament about the cat living with him. She ended up in the hospital for 6 weeks. The vet split the bill in half and I was able to raise $800 from organizations online to help with the bill, but there was still $1000 left. I went ahead a paid it with my credit card, but I drew up a repayment plan and had him sign it and had it notarized. After we broke up, he still sent me monthly payments until it was done.

I have more of a problem lending money to a friend than a SO…I lost a dear friend due to loaning her money and her lying to me about pay back. Now, she’s trying to get back into my good graces, but that’s not gonna happen.

COME ON NOW

March 14th, 2011
10:04 am

Simple-That’s why I said it was a sucka move on her part. Using sex as a way to get money out of someone. I know people do it everyday but it’s sooooo low class.

Simple Man!!!!

March 14th, 2011
10:04 am

Slim, I told her that was not the time for that….We got dressed And went to the IHOP…( I drove and I paid) I droped her back at home and told the I would call later…Needless to say……

Celisea

March 14th, 2011
10:04 am

Simple Man – That’s the oldest profession. Don’t do it.

Celisea

March 14th, 2011
10:05 am

Of course though, most that roll that way see it as you scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours…quid pro quo

Celisea

March 14th, 2011
10:07 am

I’ll loan to my sister but that’s about it…

Leggs

March 14th, 2011
10:07 am

@C.O.N ~ she’s probably thinking his blood flow is still mostly down below and not flowing to his brain.

Leggs

March 14th, 2011
10:10 am

@SimpleM ~ why not suggest she take out a PayDay Loan. Heck, she’s has to pay someone back. This way, she won’t lose your friendship. Well, she may think of you differently by not helping her out.

COME ON NOW

March 14th, 2011
10:10 am

Leggs–LOL. Well for most men that’s when you have the best chance of getting anything out of them. They can’t think straight when the blood if flowing down there. That’s why women keep doing that ish

SlimNumeroUno

March 14th, 2011
10:11 am

‘I haven’t been that lucky since! I went to Vegas back in October and lost my damn shirt!’

Ared – There must be something to the whole “Beginners Luck” thing because I went to visit a dude I was dating, some years back, up in Indy. We went to the casino there and he showed me how to play Roulette for the first time and he gave me some money to try it out with. It was sooooo exciting because everything I betted on came up and I was on a roooll. He was like Daannngg Slim, I can’t believe you’re winning like that. So the next day we went back up there and boy was that a buzzkill. I don’t think I wont ANYTHING. :cry: Damn Beginners luck had turned back into a pumpkin after midnight the previous day I suppose. lol

SlimNumeroUno

March 14th, 2011
10:13 am

Simple – Your situation went right along with the song that was just playing on the radio

Sweet dreams are made of this
Who am I to disagree?
I travel the world
And the seven seas
Everybody’s looking for something.

Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused

:lol:

AmazonRed™

March 14th, 2011
10:14 am

Slim – Absolutely. I remember going skiing in Tahoe and going to Reno for the first time. A friend was playing roulette and told me to pick a number. I had never played and looked at the wheel and saw the #29. So I picked it and it hit. I’ve NEVER been that lucky on my own. Dammit!!!!

Celisea

March 14th, 2011
10:15 am

Simple Man – She is cool and everything, but she is also the type that we view and sort of assistance as cart blanche’ to put her hand out all day every day!!!

If you know this, it seems to me you shouldn’t be surprised at her asking and (forgive me) but that you’ve been entertaining this sort of mentality prior to now….which IMO creates a comfortable opening to ask for favors….at least bigger ones anyway.

AmazonRed™

March 14th, 2011
10:16 am

So where are the posters who DO loan money to folks? We know they’re out there…. :lol: