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How do you pull off going Dutch?

I received an email from one of our male readers seeking some advice.  He wants to know if it’s possible to go Dutch on a date without sending the wrong message.  Is there a way to successfully ask someone out, plan an outing, and go on a date paying your own way or splitting the costs?

Do you think it can be done if you pick the right person and circumstances?

In my experience, going Dutch was only bad because of the “caught off guard” situations.  You know, that time when someone asks you out and don’t mention that they have no intentions of paying your way.  If you know beforehand that you wanted the date to be Dutch, you should say so. Give the person the opportunity to make a fully informed decision before agreeing to it.

What do you think? Does going Dutch automatically mean it’s a “bad” date?  When was the last time you paid your own way on a date?  What did you and how did it come to be a “Dutch” date?

It you had to pick between no date and going Dutch, which would you pick?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

345 comments Add your comment

SlimNumeroUno

March 9th, 2011
3:25 pm

Going dutch doesn’t alway have to refer to going to dinner. Sometimes you wanna bust one off but don’t really feel like feeling obligated to hook your partner up so there are times going dutch in the bedroom should be ok & encouraged.

(Leggs, sorry….NOw you can call the dogs off lol)

Blackfoote

March 9th, 2011
3:26 pm

Leggs if she immediatley goes to rinse I’m woke if not I have fallen alseep………LOL

Leggs

March 9th, 2011
3:27 pm

@RandyT ~ our banned mate says you nearly killed him with that 2.26 HBO special preview.

SexyCool

March 9th, 2011
3:27 pm

TPain – and hence you have the reason buddy is single. (lol) wow…

SexyCool

March 9th, 2011
3:28 pm

I do have one question, TPain. Was it news to you that he had other *active* options? Or did you think that you were the only person he had been spending time with?

Blackfoote

March 9th, 2011
3:30 pm

LOL…….@Slim1

Leggs

March 9th, 2011
3:33 pm

@SlimNU ~ I can understand that being the case for women, but doubt men would want to do the dutch thing in the bedroom.

@TPain ~ that definitely was arrogant on his part. It was his delivery that did him in. He could have kept that to himself because it always lowers the “wantability” of him in our eyes. Yeah, I made up a word.

Purple Rain

March 9th, 2011
3:33 pm

Certified Tongue Diver!

Leggs

March 9th, 2011
3:33 pm

Exactly, was the “active” part bothersome to you?

Randyt (aka "Been There, Done That, Got a Closet Full of T-shirts))

March 9th, 2011
3:38 pm

@ Leggs …tell our banned friend I said hi…or if he is reading this, hey buddy, how are ya?

Leggs

March 9th, 2011
3:39 pm

He’s definitely reading and loving it (of course, he is)! :lol:

Randyt (aka "Been There, Done That, Got a Closet Full of T-shirts))

March 9th, 2011
3:39 pm

Oh to be in paris right now with business cards saying…

R. Terrell, Oral Gynecologist.

Randyt (aka "Been There, Done That, Got a Closet Full of T-shirts))

March 9th, 2011
3:40 pm

oops, ignore the name…my bad.

Leggs

March 9th, 2011
3:41 pm

SlimNumeroUno

March 9th, 2011
3:42 pm

‘doubt men would want to do the dutch thing in the bedroom.’

Leggs – They may not ADMIT to going dutch but it’s been done. :mrgreen: :lol: Actually, I think it allows you to bond on a different level where you both watch each other while you take care of your own business.

Randyt (aka "Been There, Done That, Got a Closet Full of T-shirts))

March 9th, 2011
3:43 pm

Is this like a “68 1/2″ where she takes care of you and you owe her one?

Leggs

March 9th, 2011
3:43 pm

Gotcha, SlimNU! Makes sense when you put it that way, because we know they sure like to watch us go Dutch!

SlimNumeroUno

March 9th, 2011
3:44 pm

‘Oral Gynecologist’

Randyt – Not sure if you’re aware but during one of those types of exams, there comes a part where the doc says, “Okay, you’re going to feel a little bit of pressure from my fingers”…so in your case it would be your tongue…gotcha :shock:

Leggs

March 9th, 2011
3:44 pm

No, she takes care of herself and she owes you one!

Leggs

March 9th, 2011
3:46 pm

We do know those words by heart, SlimNU!

SexyCool

March 9th, 2011
3:48 pm

The risk in being an oral gynecologist is that sometimes, you don’t know if the patient has a problem until after the exam has begun or….3 to 7 days later.

Randyt (aka "Been There, Done That, Got a Closet Full of T-shirts))

March 9th, 2011
3:49 pm

@ SexyCool …OOOOPPPPS

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

March 9th, 2011
3:51 pm

you both watch each other while you take care of your own business.
Naw sex is not a spectator sport for me. When it comes to this, I’m grass roots…I like to be in the trenches.

Leggs

March 9th, 2011
3:52 pm

Like the wording, DreamsM!

Leggs

March 9th, 2011
4:12 pm

What happened, have we finally derailed?

Jacques Cousteau

March 9th, 2011
4:24 pm

has anyone seen my mask by chance.

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

March 9th, 2011
4:25 pm

Leggs — Sorry… Both hands (and my tongue) were otherwise occupied there for a minute… :lol:

Leggs

March 9th, 2011
4:32 pm

What you need a mask for Mr. Cousteau. You’re a spirit!

Purple Rain

March 9th, 2011
4:35 pm

I bet a Lesbian OBGYN loves her job.

Jacques Cousteau

March 9th, 2011
4:37 pm

“Sacrebleu”.

Leggs

March 9th, 2011
4:37 pm

Same can be said for straignt male OBGYN. What’s the difference?

Leggs

March 9th, 2011
4:38 pm

Now that I’ve googled that word, what’s wrong? Oh, you can’t find your mask.

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

March 9th, 2011
4:40 pm

I don’t know, Purple. For every smoking hot, well-maintained, hygienic cooch an OBGYN sees, he/she probably sees 10 stank ones… :shock:

Leggs

March 9th, 2011
4:40 pm

After a while, I would surmise both gets tired of looking at it all day every day. Hmmmmmmm??

Purple Rain

March 9th, 2011
4:43 pm

Leggs, not the same. If it were a gay urologist then it would be the same.

Leggs

March 9th, 2011
4:44 pm

Not sure about that. I know a male OBGYN who said he was tired of looking at it. It just didn’t phase him. When he said that I wondered how he felt about his wife’s at home. I didn’t ask.

Purple Rain

March 9th, 2011
4:45 pm

Jedi mind trick Leggs.

Jacques Cousteau

March 9th, 2011
4:46 pm

You see madame, that is whay i need the mask, for the how you say the “stanks ones”.

Leggs

March 9th, 2011
4:48 pm

Could be, PR, could be…mind over matter.

JCousteau got jokes.

Purple Rain

March 9th, 2011
4:52 pm

Leggs

March 9th, 2011
4:53 pm

@PR ~ you leave the E.O.D. I can’t think of anything to top this discussion on bootays!

Purple Rain

March 9th, 2011
4:58 pm

Purple Rain

March 9th, 2011
5:02 pm

Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.

Leggs

March 9th, 2011
5:04 pm

Ok, that works just fine. Thank you.

Next time, remember the Bylaws state the E.O.D. must be boldface!

Good night, everyone!

Leggs

March 9th, 2011
5:07 pm