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How do you pull off going Dutch?

I received an email from one of our male readers seeking some advice.  He wants to know if it’s possible to go Dutch on a date without sending the wrong message.  Is there a way to successfully ask someone out, plan an outing, and go on a date paying your own way or splitting the costs?

Do you think it can be done if you pick the right person and circumstances?

In my experience, going Dutch was only bad because of the “caught off guard” situations.  You know, that time when someone asks you out and don’t mention that they have no intentions of paying your way.  If you know beforehand that you wanted the date to be Dutch, you should say so. Give the person the opportunity to make a fully informed decision before agreeing to it.

What do you think? Does going Dutch automatically mean it’s a “bad” date?  When was the last time you paid your own way on a date?  What did you and how did it come to be a “Dutch” date?

It you had to pick between no date and going Dutch, which would you pick?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

345 comments Add your comment

kimmie

March 9th, 2011
1:28 pm

ChingChang Beauty Supply on Metropolitan.

:lol:

Fion

March 9th, 2011
1:29 pm

Well, kimmie exacly how do you really feel. :)

AmazonRed™ - I love LA (LAKERS)

March 9th, 2011
1:29 pm

I hate what The Game has become so much I don’t even want to talk about it anymore. :lol: Let me continue to play catch up and get back on topic.

COME ON NOW

March 9th, 2011
1:30 pm

What’s so interesting is when the cast was on MoNique right before the season started Tia said that she loves Melanie the most this year out of any of the other years. I haven’t seen anything so far that has me liking her AT ALL this season….or any of them for that matter. And having Tasha’s love interest to be Terrence J—ugh. Watching his little bird chest trying to look sexy in a towel just did it for me.

AmazonRed™ - I love LA (LAKERS)

March 9th, 2011
1:32 pm

I was asked out once to the movies to meet this guy and when I got there, he had already paid for his ticket and was inside the theater, “saving me a seat”.

He would have saved it the whole movie. I would have gotten in my car and went home, or went to see another show. :lol:

Leggs

March 9th, 2011
1:32 pm

Goodness…bird chest….in a towel! :shock: :lol: :shock: :lol:

Leggs

March 9th, 2011
1:33 pm

Definitely with you, ARed! I would not have joined him.

For Real

March 9th, 2011
1:34 pm

“It’s because it moved to BET and the writers went ghetto. The end.” – Or perhaps the network was right, the show had reached its end because there was nothing more the show could do.

Oh Ared you cheap to death for not wanting to pay for parking. I hope your dress masked your cheapscapness.

Speaking of dresses, ladies lookie here I like to see women appropriate fitted dresses. Please stop with the supa dupa tight ish. I mean if I tell you have Inflammatory Bile Disease then your ish is too tight.

SexyCool

March 9th, 2011
1:34 pm

LOL!

It USED to have a least some positive depictions of relationships and personalities. Now, all of them are spastic and out of control. There is no voice of reason.

AmazonRed™ - I love LA (LAKERS)

March 9th, 2011
1:34 pm

A picnic at Stone Mtn and the laser show…cheap.

I had a nice first kiss during the laser show there!

AmazonRed™ - I love LA (LAKERS)

March 9th, 2011
1:36 pm

Oh Ared you cheap to death for not wanting to pay for parking. I hope your dress masked your cheapscapness.

I can be rather thrifty but I think parking is the biggest racket out there. It shouldn’t cost me $20 to park in an empty lot.

AmazonRed™ - I love LA (LAKERS)

March 9th, 2011
1:38 pm

Or perhaps the network was right, the show had reached its end because there was nothing more the show could do.

There are plenty of storylines you can give to a newlywed couple, a newly divorced couple and a football superstar that isn’t straight garbage. We’re talking season 4, not 20.

Fion

March 9th, 2011
1:40 pm

@ For Real a.k.a. (Dr. Bushkin)

Inflammatory Bile Disease, question Doc. Can you be up walkin’ round with that!

M. (pronouced M dot)

March 9th, 2011
1:41 pm

@AmazonRed

LOL that is funny my friend from hs used to talk about that….

My coworker told me a cheap date story and I had to share…

She got 2 free movie passes and invites this new guy out…they arrive at the movie and she asks if he wants some refreshments….He says “Them (yes them) refreshments are way to high…I am not paying for that”…Then they get into the theatre and she has a dry throat and asks if he would mind going to get some water….”He comes back with a cup of tap water!” Then the movie is over and he says, do you want to get something to eat? I know just the place, follow me…They pull up to McDonalds LOL!!!!! Lets just say she told him no thanks and left him in line at the drive thru!!!

AmazonRed™ - I love LA (LAKERS)

March 9th, 2011
1:43 pm

M. dot…please tell me you are lying. :lol:

COME ON NOW

March 9th, 2011
1:43 pm

“There are plenty of storylines you can give to a newlywed couple, a newly divorced couple and a football superstar that isn’t straight garbage. We’re talking season 4, not 20″

ARED-I agree. They tried to change up everything when what they had originally worked just fine. I hate when shows try to jump ahead 2 or 5 years. I’m going to stop short of calling this season garbage but that “loving feeling” I once had for it is gone.

Blackfoote

March 9th, 2011
1:45 pm

Y’all still on the game haven’t seen it knows nothing about it.
Hall pass on the game forum.

For Real shooting from the hip as always.

For Real

March 9th, 2011
1:46 pm

“Inflammatory Bile Disease, question Doc. Can you be up walkin’ round with that!” – You sure can it comes off as a sexy walk but the chick experiences extreme rectal pain.

AmazonRed™ - I love LA (LAKERS)

March 9th, 2011
1:46 pm

It’s garbage. Tell me one storyline that’s headed in a positive direction?

Fion

March 9th, 2011
1:49 pm

@For Real
You killin me Man. Stop.

M. (pronouced M dot)

March 9th, 2011
1:49 pm

@Amazon

I wish..lol its some crazy people in the dating world that are messed up..thats just their lot in life!

Purple Rain

March 9th, 2011
1:50 pm

Are we still talking about Dutch Ovens?

Blackfoote

March 9th, 2011
1:52 pm

Sexy walk with rectal pain…….LOL
WTH that looks like…..LOL

COME ON NOW

March 9th, 2011
1:53 pm

“It’s garbage. Tell me one storyline that’s headed in a positive direction?”

ARED-There isn’t one :-(

Leggs

March 9th, 2011
1:54 pm

“…a sexy walk but the chick experiences extreme rectal pain.” Don’t know anyone who can pull that off!!!

Purple Rain

March 9th, 2011
1:56 pm

What exactly is a mixed person supposed to look like? LOL

For Real

March 9th, 2011
1:56 pm

“Sexy walk with rectal pain…. WTH that looks like” – Picture Ared walking with a pebble in her 6″ heeled shoes and Macy’s forgetting to remove the anti-theft tag out her brand new skinny jeans.

Blackfoote

March 9th, 2011
1:57 pm

Purple some of the ladies are talking about the game tv show. For Real got me trying to picture a sexy walking lady with rectal pain……LOL

For Real

March 9th, 2011
1:59 pm

“What exactly is a mixed person supposed to look like?” – Al Green!!!

For Real now starting to feel dizzy from not eating lunch and why does these peanuts big momma gave me have an hint of chocolate favor to them and they kinda soft too.

Purple Rain

March 9th, 2011
2:00 pm

Blackfoote, a sexy walk with rectal pain. Oddly I bet women have tried to and pull that off before. I have never seen but I am sure it has been attempted. LOL

Blackfoote

March 9th, 2011
2:01 pm

LOL…….I can see it clearly now.

kimmie

March 9th, 2011
2:02 pm

4 Real – Okay, I’m trying to sit here at my desk and look serious but it is impossible reading your posts!!! :lol:

Leggs

March 9th, 2011
2:03 pm

And only a man would put a walk like that in the “sexy” category.

For Real

March 9th, 2011
2:03 pm

Don’t know anyone who can pull that off!!! – Apparently Ared has done it before with great success cause she didn’t have to pay for parking.

AmazonRed™ - I love LA (LAKERS)

March 9th, 2011
2:03 pm

a sexy walk with rectal pain. Oddly I bet women have tried to and pull that off before. I have never seen but I am sure it has been attempted. LOL

PR – Pregnant women often get hemorrhoids. So you might be seeing it now. :lol:

Purple Rain

March 9th, 2011
2:04 pm

Blackfoote, I am sure hookers can do it after a john has just left them with their rectum damaged

For Real

March 9th, 2011
2:06 pm

Kimmie: Here catch this baby while I slap the ish out of Leggs.

“And only a man would put a walk like that in the “sexy” category” – The day J-Z became a sex symbol was the last day a chick can use “only a man would”.

Purple Rain

March 9th, 2011
2:07 pm

Amazon, no she doesnt have hemorrhoids. LOL

Leggs

March 9th, 2011
2:08 pm

I sure hope my lunch stays down with all this gut wrenching laughing I’m doing. You are a sick man, 4Real!

For Real

March 9th, 2011
2:09 pm

Purp: Good call on the hookers and I’m sorry about you having hemorrhoid duty.

Mrs. Purp: Purp!!!! It’s starting to itch again!!!!!

Purp: Coming dear!!!

Purple Rain

March 9th, 2011
2:10 pm

For Real, women think Old Camel Joe is a sex symbol? Probably because he doesn’t use coupons
http://cheezburger.com/View/1798151936

Leggs

March 9th, 2011
2:10 pm

@ForReal ~ You have a point w/the JayZ comment! Money made Big Poppa (Biggie Smalls, not Kim on the HOA’s Big Poppa) even sexier!

kimmie

March 9th, 2011
2:12 pm

4 Real – Since when did Joe Camel be considered sexy? The only thing sexy about him is his money!

Blackfoote

March 9th, 2011
2:12 pm

LOL……..it’s a damaged rectum
Got to keep my composure I can’t let my co-workers know what I’m reading gotta take a break.

Purple Rain

March 9th, 2011
2:13 pm

I am going to push Amazon down for starting a hemorrhoids conversation about my wife. LOL

AmazonRed™ - I love LA (LAKERS)

March 9th, 2011
2:13 pm

For Real, there are no hemorrhoids…my tongue still glides smoothly…no speed bumps at all. LOL

You like her rectum? TMI

AmazonRed™ - I love LA (LAKERS)

March 9th, 2011
2:13 pm

I meant “lick” her rectum?

Leggs

March 9th, 2011
2:15 pm

Well, I guess that applies to both Big Poppas now that I think about it.

Purple Rain

March 9th, 2011
2:15 pm

Amazon do you really want me to answer that? LOL

For Real

March 9th, 2011
2:15 pm

Leggs: If you can give me an explanation for what chicks do to Flavor Flav, I got a good hemorrhoid man that can smooth out your bumps with his tongue. I know but he swears he can.