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Archive for March, 2011

Wedding vows: Skip the obey part?

It seems everyone is talking about the upcoming royal wedding between Kate Middleton and Prince William.  It will surely be the center of intense media coverage. There is even talk of whether or not the vows will include the word obey, i.e. “ I will love, serve, and obey you as long as we both shall live.”

I don’t think that any of my friends included obey in there vows. Come to think of it, none of the last couple of weddings I attended included obey, which is probably a sign of the times.

Do you think that the word obey is important in wedding vows? If you are married, did you use the word obey?  Was it ever an issue of whether or not it should have been included?

My Dad has married a lot of couples (he brags that they are all still together) in his ministerial career and he would encourage the use of the word obey.  He thinks that wives should submit to their husbands, so the word obey is necessary.  If you don’t have religious reasons, would you ever consider keeping …

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Single and sexless

Whether you are going through a serious dating drought or celibate for personal reasons, you’ve probably become accustomed to your single and sexless status.  Quiet as its kept, there are many single people who go for long, long periods of time without hooking up with anyone.

Do you think that being single and sexless is the reason why so many of us jump into less then ideal relationships? I’m talking about when we start dating inappropriate people simply because we crave that connection with someone.  Does that cloud our dating judgment?  It would explain a lot, don’t you think?

How do you handle your single status when it comes to living without sex? Does it become a problem for you when you try to date someone?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

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Dating: Mixed messages turn you on?

According to a recent study,  He loves me, he loves me not: Uncertainty and Attraction, mixed messages can intensify attraction in some people.  That’s odd because it sort of makes me stabby and annoyed.  I end up wishing I never met the ambiguous lad because I’m generally not a fan of he loves me, he loves me not.

It’s possible that I’m just a lazy dater and don’t want to do any work to figure out how a guy feels about me. I remember a time when that is all I ever did, though.  I can’t even count the hours spent deciphering behavior of the men I dated. That was pretty draining so I’m basically not willing to go back to that.

What sort of masochist do you have to be to fall for someone who doesn’t care enough to show you how they feel about you?  Maybe that is a little harsh but what pleasure is there in uncertainty?

How sexy is the cat and mouse game, really? When does it stop being fun and starts becoming a colossal waste of time?

Would you be willing to play the cat and …

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Dating on the other side of the tracks?

There was a time when you wouldn’t think of dating outside your socioeconomic class.  According to a lot of people, this is still an issue in modern day dating.  There are still mothers that ask their sons, “Who are her people? What do they do?, ” and if he doesn’t respond with an acceptable profession that signifies affluent wealthy family? Well, that is where things get a little tricky.

Whether you are from a modest, working class family or a wealthy, powerful one, when you make a decision to break from tradition, you have to be prepared for the backlash.  A lot of couples realize they are not built for this and others become closer because of it.  Do you think our upbringing and our socioeconomic status is an issue in your dating life?

Have you ever dated someone that seemed to come from a completely different world than you?  Perhaps you are used to down home, unpretentious surroundings (like me!)  and you met someone who spent their childhood in boarding schools and …

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Dating dilemma: Their representative left, now what?

Have you ever reached the 90 day mark in a new romance and start to notice a new personality emerging?  Don’t be alarmed! That’s just the representative leaving and the real person showing up. Occasionally you get lucky and the representative closely resembles the real person.

Sadly, there are other times when that “dating representative” may as well have been a paid actor hired to lure you into a false sense of security and relationship bliss.  You then have to make a choice: Do you decide to give the real person a shot or do you bail on the potentially good/bad ride you are about to take?

How do you know when the “real person” is worth the same amount of time and investment you gave their representative?

Do you think that it’s hard to show all your true sides when you first meet someone? Is it possible to date without having that “representative” show up at all?

How real do you get when it comes to letting someone new in your life get to know your authentic self?

Happy …

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Dating: Do you breakup when it gets boring?

I tend to get on my guy friends who bounce around from women to women, then whine about not having a special woman in their lives.  I can understand not staying with someone they have no future with, especially when it’s obvious they are not compatible.  I am bothered when they say that things got dull or boring.  Did they ever stop to think that women get bored too?

When you decide to become exclusive and only date each other, that oh so thrilling roller coaster ride that is dating stops. Oddly enough, some of us miss that dizzying ride and yearn to have that same kind of uncertainty in relationships.  By definition, that is the opposite of what we say we want!

Do you think that it’s a good idea to dump someone when things get dull? Do you expect your dating relationship to always entertain you?

What  kind of excitement would keep a man interested in a woman? How should a man broach this subject with someone he is dating, or should he?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta …

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Dating women: Can you tell when she likes you?

A lot of women refuse to ask a man out or do anything remotely close to “pursuing” a guy.  I understand why and I’ve argued the reasons why women should give it a try.  It’s a personal preference, really.  I don’t think there is a right or wrong way because most of us stick to what works.

Even if women prefer not to do the “heavy lifting” when it comes to dating, I think it makes things a lot easier on men when we let them know we are in fact interested in them.  It sounds simple enough but I know a lot of women who think they are sending some subtle message to men, but the men don’t always catch it.

Now, I am not saying we need to go around clubbing guys over the head and dragging them off somewhere . I mean, that wouldn’t go over well, would it fellas?  I am saying that being direct and upfront about how much you enjoy a man’s company should happen fairly quickly.  It’s been my experience that men respond well to reciprocity in effort and interest level.

Aside from flirting …

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Is there such a thing as closure?

Hello everyone! I’m taking a quick business trip, so we have a guest blogger today.  Her name is Molly and she is no stranger to Atlanta. I hope you welcome her and I will check in later today!

Closure. We ALL know the word. Oh yes, we know it well. Everyone has felt the need for it, felt called to provide it or tried to prevent it altogether at some point in their life.  In love and relationships, why is closure such a staple at the end? If we or our partner has already decided our relationship should be over or is on it’s way out the door, does it truly provide the calming of internal conflict individuals seek to gain from it?

Closure by it’s mere definition is the act of closing or the condition of being closed. At best, the idea of closure can only be described as redundant. Some may argue that we are emotional beings and a feeling of closure lends it’s sensibilities to our softer side. It’s a matter of respect, some say. But as adults in relationships, when someone makes …

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Dating: You are in love, but your family is not

Can you imagine being in love with someone who is unable to introduce you to their family?  I don’t know how I would manage a relationship if either of our families didn’t approve.  Talk about being stuck between a rock and a hard place!

I am very close to my family so if I discovered that they didn’t like my man, I admit I would be crushed.  I would mainly be hurt that they didn’t trust my judgment and know that I would not to be involved with a knucklehead.  Granted, I’ve had questionable choices in the past, but come on, you can’t hold that against a person forever!

I don’t know how I would manage juggling the relationship and my family because we are so close.  We talk nearly everyday, we own companies, property, and spend holidays and vacations together.  If they were not happy about my mate, how would that impact the dynamics of the relationship and the connection I had to my family?

Do you ever worry about your relationship being controversial in your family? Have you …

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Dating debate: Give up guilty pleasures?

As much as I want a guy to call my own right now, I can definitely appreciate the art of being single.  That’s right, the art.  When you are perpetually single as long as I have been, you get kind of good at it…fortunately or unfortunately, if that makes sense!

One of the first things you have to do when you get coupled up is curb your crazy weird habits as not to scare off your potential Mr./Miss. Right.  Yeah, I know it brings you immense pleasure watching adult entertainment for countless hours, but can that guilty pleasure stick around when you are coupled up?

Should we have to give up our guilty pleasures when we get in a relationship? What about all those fun (naughty?) things that made single life so great?

One of my friends told me that her new man has a problem with her collection of “toys.”  He doesn’t like it for a variety of reasons and he basically said it was disrespectful for her to disregard his request to throw them away.

This made me think about when you draw …

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