Dating dilemma: What if they have a mean streak?
Everyone knows that the first 90 days is the honeymoon phase in dating. You don’t usually meet the “real” person until you’ve seen them in different environments and/or handling a variety of circumstances. What happens when you are seeing someone new and you see their nasty side (read: Not the good kind. The Ms. Jackson, If you’re ‘nasty’ kind)?
Obviously, you don’t want to dump someone for having a normal, human emotion, do you? Would it bother you if someone you were seeing revealed a pretty mean streak? What do you do when you have seen them react to something in a way that doesn’t really sit well with you?
What are you willing to overlook and what classifies as a deal-breaking mean streak?
Have you ever been on a date and the person had a seemingly random outburst of anger or mean behavior?
Happy Monday! I hope you all enjoyed that beautiful weather this weekend!
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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308 comments Add your comment
Raqi V
February 28th, 2011
12:25 pm
Dan, that’s an odd question. LOL
Have you ever had a woman stay overnight and hung her delicates in your bathroom to dry after washing?
cba
February 28th, 2011
12:26 pm
random: damn, they have 14 freaking pages before noon on the blog discussing “white-male only scholarship”. Only needed to read one or two…….not feeling all the ignorant, hate filled people today.
Raqi V
February 28th, 2011
12:27 pm
I find it rather bewildering at some of the everyday stuff that people get so turned off by.
BlackMagicWoman
February 28th, 2011
12:28 pm
DAN….I hang my undryables in my washer/dryer closet. So nobody sees them. In my NY apartment where I did not have that luxury, I made sure not to hang those when company was coming over.
SCOOL….yes she did…but they married anyway! See where that led!
FOR REAL…it depends on the disorder. I have one…sleep walking disorder! Oh I lied, I have two. The other one is Lack-of-patience-for-delaing-with BS-itis!
Lurking
February 28th, 2011
12:36 pm
For real, I just asked him a simple question, and he started ranting and raving about questioning him, why he doesn’t have to lie to me, how all these worthless men are making it hard for real men to be honest in their relationship, not be taken for granted, etc…Why do we always run to the ones that mistreat us, and leave the one that really cares about our well being or has our best interest at heart?
SexyCool
February 28th, 2011
12:37 pm
Lurking – in that case, run. Fast.
Raqi V
February 28th, 2011
12:41 pm
Lurking, is that all? Had you asked him anything else in the same line of questioning early or before?
For Real
February 28th, 2011
12:45 pm
What was the simple question?
SexyCool
February 28th, 2011
12:45 pm
I can distinctly remember the first time Shthead went off when I simply asked this question:
“So, what do you plan on doing with your day off?”
With his reaction, you would think that I had opened up a grand jury investigation, an inquisition, or something. I would later come to realize as the beginning of him conditioning me to NOT ask him about his activities when he was away from me. Besides, if I didn’t ask him where he was going or what he was doing, then he wasn’t lying to me about then, was he?
Raqi V
February 28th, 2011
12:47 pm
LOL SexyCool. That was guilt.
OooWeeE!!!
February 28th, 2011
12:47 pm
There are alot of angry women in the world for some odd reason these days, you have the house, job, car and dream life now take a deep breath and relax a little, please.
Leggs
February 28th, 2011
12:53 pm
I know a man just like that SexyC. I’ve since learned he is a hypocrite, a liar and a cheat. He cannot stand someone to lie to him, and got in his daughter’s behind when she lied to him. He lies through his teeth. It’s reverse psychology. He wants you to believe and feel with every fiber of your being that since he abhors lying, you wouldn’t think he would lie…yeah right!
Dan - Simply....Superior
February 28th, 2011
12:54 pm
@Raqi
Overnight (te, as in one) – no.
Overnights (se’, as in more than one) – yes; which is why I asked.
Simple Man!!!!
February 28th, 2011
12:54 pm
Afternoon Peeps….
Quick check in…..Ok Comment of the day:
BMW and The Crusty Nuts…( Sounds like a Spielburg Movie)
Raqi V
February 28th, 2011
12:54 pm
When a person becomes defensive at the simplest questions or statements (where are you going? how was your day?) there is something not so innocent going on.
Celisea
February 28th, 2011
1:00 pm
For Real – Celisea are you blogging topless again?
No secret is safe around here
Blackfoote – again……WTH Damn it I missed that day.
Yeah you did
Celisea
February 28th, 2011
1:02 pm
Swiss – But feel free to post all the racist, sexist, and generally inflammatory remarks you want — those are perfectly acceptable.
The word was solic!tation
Lurking
February 28th, 2011
1:02 pm
How are we going to get to know one another if I can’t ask you anything, even if I do ask you the same thing twice…I’m trying to see if you’re going to change your response…Lol
As for the question, I’m going to uses this scenario just in case he’s lurking as well (you never know) I was being sarcastic when I asked if he had slept with his colleague since they weren’t getting along. He told me he didn’t want to discuss it since we had just shared an intimate experience, had breakfast in bed, watched movies, and spoke to his family on the phone. Either way, I made joke about it and he freaked out….literally. Went into a spill about his hatred toward this individually, he wish I would have left it alone, and we could’ve discussed it at another time. Told how someone tried to rob him and shot him outside his home, and the said person told the police that they wish it had been a fatal shooting, etc.
Raqi V
February 28th, 2011
1:02 pm
Dan, I had not really thought about it until just this moment. I am feeling some kind of way right now wondering how my delicates are being treated. LOL
Are they being stuffed into a hot air machine along with jeans or towels? Or are they being delicately handled as the delicates that they are? LOL
No urgent concern seriously but now you have me wondering.
Raqi V
February 28th, 2011
1:08 pm
I’m trying to see if you’re going to change your response…Lol
That can be borderline annoying and irritating when you are aware why someone is asking you the same question over and over.
What makes you think he could possibly be lurking? Just the mere changing of one fact can completely alter a situation. How close is that scenario to the real issue?
Dan - Simply....Superior
February 28th, 2011
1:08 pm
@Raqi
My point is, I may not need to see or know about your delicates once their on and then off if that all I want to know. The cleaning, maintenance, and all is your department, until….
Likewise, you may never know that I leave my draws, socks, etc. on the flo, until….
I marvel watching folks “I won’t do this/that/the other” for someone that they’re in a relationship with, when in fact, it’s the little isht that annoys.you.to.death that’s the “secret spice” of the jawn.
SexyCool
February 28th, 2011
1:10 pm
Lurking – that example was rather specific and IF he’s lurking, he’s going to know you are definitely talking about him.
And it seems like, TO ME, dude threw up a whole lot of smoke and put up some mirrors for something that you say that you were only joking about.
Lurking
February 28th, 2011
1:11 pm
I really like him and I want to give us a chance, but I doubt we can go any further. I know he was probably hurt by their comments, but that doesn’t excuse his behavior or give him the right to lash out. Why can’t we leave the baggage at the door (past hurt or experiences, issues at work, problems with the car, kids, pets, etc.) and just enjoy the moment?!?
Raqi V
February 28th, 2011
1:11 pm
Likewise, you may never know that I leave my draws, socks, etc. on the flo, until….
Dan, yeah. Those days spent doing pretty much nothing at each other’s place usually reveals such. LOL Most have our guards done during those times.
BlackMagicWoman
February 28th, 2011
1:12 pm
SIMPLE MAN…thank you…thank you! Well I did win the Quote of the year for 2010! So I must aim to hold onto my title!
LURKING…why am I hearing the soundtrack from “Psycho” playing as I read your post?
This dude sounds a burger and fries short of a Happy Meal!
SCOOL…I am with Raqi…he was guilty of doing dirt and was getting offensive.
Raqi V
February 28th, 2011
1:12 pm
guards down, I meant.
Raqi V
February 28th, 2011
1:13 pm
SexyCool, that’s why I am wondering how close is the scenario to the real happening. Asking about if I slept with someone is not the same as asking did I turned them in for stealing office supplies.
SexyCool
February 28th, 2011
1:13 pm
Dan…so, you’ve been at babygirl’s house for night(S)plural and she hung up her undies to air dry…and that’s a problem?!?!? Really?!?!?
At least you know she washes them. (lol)
But seriously, this goes back to what I was talking about the other day, about when you’re *just* dating and not spending day(S) and night(S)plural with someone, then you can put off chores and errands and the like.
But when you are with someone day in and day out, when the heck do you think the draws are going to get washed if not while you’re there?
Wise Diva
February 28th, 2011
1:14 pm
You can’t always tell from their every day demeanor, either. I remember a quiet and laid back guy nearly made me jump out of my skin when he lost it with a relative he was arguing with one day. I was like ummm have WE met???
Raqi V
February 28th, 2011
1:14 pm
Lurking, were you two talking about that person at the time or did you just bring it up out of the blue?
Wise Diva
February 28th, 2011
1:15 pm
oh! and please refrain from making comments filled with racial stereotypes, it’s not welcome, nor is it necessary to discussions on here. Thank you
BlackMagicWoman
February 28th, 2011
1:16 pm
“I was like ummm have WE met???”
WISE…did you pack up like the band did in “The Color Purple” when Squeak called Sophia a big ole heffa in tje juke joint?
Simple Man!!!!
February 28th, 2011
1:16 pm
So Lurking….Did you ever find out how long your guy has been rabbit dancing with his co-worker????
SexyCool
February 28th, 2011
1:17 pm
“Time to go.”
Raqi V
February 28th, 2011
1:17 pm
SexyCool, exactly on that 1:13. People being turned off by everyday living really does baffle me.
Dan - Simply....Superior
February 28th, 2011
1:19 pm
@SC/Raqi
That’s my point.
Those days and nights together get to the “draws on the floor” or even “period panties” (which the first time I heard about them, I cried a little; first time I seen ‘em, I cried a little more)
Dirty draws on the floor, bras on the shower, are annoying but, in the long run, minor irritations.
SexyCool
February 28th, 2011
1:20 pm
(which the first time I heard about them, I cried a little; first time I seen ‘em, I cried a little more)
LMAO – you’re a nut.
Lurking
February 28th, 2011
1:20 pm
OK, I guess the cat is already out of the bag. As it turns out, the individual was his 60-year-old neighbor, whom is going out of her way to make his life miserable, and he said that they had another faceoff the day before we had our discussion. I didn’t know that it was still fresh and brewing…do men have problems expressing themselves? Is it OK for them to cry? Do they have people to confide in, not just their partners them (lol) but real men???
Blackfoote
February 28th, 2011
1:21 pm
Black:
Come south you wont be celibate for long………I’m joking had to say that to stir you up we have plenty of “losers” here as well……LOL
Simple Man!!!!
February 28th, 2011
1:22 pm
So Lurking……How long has your guy been doing that old lady?????
BlackMagicWoman
February 28th, 2011
1:23 pm
BLACKFOOTE…I lived in Atlanta. I just recently came back home to NYC. I have met so many losers there! Hell they are the reason for my celibate status.
SexyCool
February 28th, 2011
1:24 pm
How old is your dude? Is the neighbor a “young 60″? (lol)
Raqi V
February 28th, 2011
1:28 pm
LMBO Dan.
Lurking, he may just be a nut job but to his defense, I have been gravely irritated by something and when someone chooses to make light of it it irritates me that much more.
Blackfoote
February 28th, 2011
1:30 pm
LOL…..@Black…….I Love New Yorkers
Lurking
February 28th, 2011
1:31 pm
He is 35, and his actions really scared me. I don’t want to deal with that mean streak in future, esp if he accused me of cheating or found out I had a side piece…I’m going to cut my losses and move on. It’s not worth it….
Leggs
February 28th, 2011
1:33 pm
“Dirty draws on the floor, bras on the shower, are annoying but, in the long run, minor irritations.” Did I miss something? Are you visiting or are you living together. Either way, it shouldn’t be annoying unless you want to build her a special place to hang her intimates.
Bet you didn’t think of them as being dirty while you were trying to pull them off her.
Simple Man!!!!
February 28th, 2011
1:33 pm
Lurking,
“I don’t want to deal with that mean streak in future, esp if he accused me of cheating or found out I had a side piece…”
So he is wrasslin’ with that old lady….
Lurking
February 28th, 2011
1:35 pm
And for the record, he was on life support after the shooting…
Celisea
February 28th, 2011
1:37 pm
Ummm, and to add to the dirty panties convo, if you wear them all day, they are dirty. No such thing as clean panties unless freshly laundered. Naw they ain’t got to “look” dirty but the mere fact that they covered the bottom which btw should be bathed daily, causes them to get dirty. Oh and the mention of period panties?? If you’re having intimate relations over a period of time, suck it up, you’re gonna encounter all of the above.
Blackfoote
February 28th, 2011
1:37 pm
Wont happen again I’m not going to miss any more days Celisea.
“Bet you didn’t think of them as being dirty while you were trying to pull them off her.”
Ya’ll are killing me.