Online dating: Does everyone lie?
In case you missed the quick and dirty scandal in the news, New York Congressman Chris Lee resigned after Gawker.com revealed that he was doing a little internet flirting. He had a brief email exchange with a single woman in DC and led her to believe that he was a 39 year old single father. Turns out he was married, with children, 46, oh and a congressman!
I felt bad for the young woman, “Leggy Glamazon” because I have certainly been where she has been. I’ve met men who totally misrepresented themselves online. I can’t imagine how I’d feel if one of the posers turned out to be a politician or public figure. (Full disclosure: I actually met and hung out with the Leggy Glamazon last year and I found her to be fabulous and cool.)
Needless to say, it brought back awful memories of discovering the lies that people tell. I think I read some outrageous statistic that up to 30% of online daters are actually married. This isn’t the – divorce papers about to be signed kind of married- either. It’s more like – still rocking the wedding band, living with mate, pretending to be happy at home – kind of married.
I won’t bash online dating because it can work, although not actively online dating myself. It’s just that stories like this reminds us that a lot of people lie online. It’s just something you have to deal with in dating – online and off.
Do you think that everyone lies on their dating profiles? Is there a way to filter out the posers?
How can you tell if the person you are dating is actually single?
Happy Friday!
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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300 comments Add your comment
AmazonRed™
February 25th, 2011
10:17 am
I actually would lie about my height so that I would seem shorter. Growing up I always had a complex about being tall, I did not want to be this tall.
Blasphemy!
Purple Rain "When the pimp's in the crib ma drop it like it's hot"
February 25th, 2011
10:18 am
Amazon, LOL
Fion
February 25th, 2011
10:18 am
@Purp
“women who claim celibate are the easiest and that is what they wish to be
instead of what they are.”
That’s like the Church Theory, ‘the biggest Freaks are sittin right there every Sunday
czBrat
February 25th, 2011
10:18 am
Men always add on an inch or two to the height, women seem to pick the weight category they want to be, rather than what they are today
LMAO!! truer words have never been posted on this blog
BMW, surely you realize that announcing your celibate or a virgin is like catnip to the lions, right?
Purple Rain
February 25th, 2011
10:22 am
Fion and preachers daughters
MC Hammock
February 25th, 2011
10:22 am
It’s amazing how many people will travel LONG distances to meet someone. When I did the online thing I met ladies from Illinois, Idaho and one flew in from Tucson, AZ. And while these chicks weren’t total hotties, they weren’t bad looking. Incedentally, the one from IL thought that the more times we did the deed, the more I would like her and we went into double digits from mid afternoon Friday until she left early Monday morning). A lot of the ladies I met were a little over weight, a couple were really overweight and one had the body of a 10+, but the face of a 2 minus. The last one had me horizontal about 2 hours after we met. Most of the pics are only of their faces or older pics, but that’s the way the game is played.
i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")
February 25th, 2011
10:23 am
“That’s like the Church Theory, ‘the biggest Freaks are sittin right there every Sunday”
Fion — That’s not a theory. That’s empirical fact.
Good lawd, the stories I could tell…. 
i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")
February 25th, 2011
10:24 am
Purple — RE: Preacher’s daughters. Hell yes. Guess the fruit doesn’t fall far from the tree…
Fion
February 25th, 2011
10:25 am
@swiss
it is 4th Sunday after all. Think I’ll go and get that after service chicken dinner in the “Fellowship Hall’.
SlimNumeroUno
February 25th, 2011
10:33 am
I only ever flew out of town once to meet someone I met online. That didn’t go as well as one would hope which is why I ended up leaving a day early.
Purple Rain
February 25th, 2011
10:33 am
What’s with the looooooooooooonnnnnng Church Services. LOL
BlackMagicWoman
February 25th, 2011
10:35 am
SWISS..men do it too. They post a picture when they had a 6 pack not a keg…and when their hair wasn’t running away from their heads…and when they actually had a neck…now they are just like shampoo, Head and shoulders! No pack of franks neck please. You know when the back of a dudes head looks like a pack of Oscar Meyer’s…UGH…not cute! Oh and 6ft in Tims does NOT make you 6ft. If I wear heels and and I taller than you….we have issues!
“SOOOOO true. Most times “celibate” = “h0rny as f__k”
Guess they met my Everlast chastity belt and had no key!
PURPLE…I am with ARED…BLASPHEMY! You know how many trial size men would love to have your height!?!
Fion
February 25th, 2011
10:38 am
I echo what several people have said already, no matter where you met the person, Online, Gas Station or Market doing your Due Diligence does not change. Only a naive neophyte would go into the dating arena whether online or not and believe everything he/she is told without
confirmation of fact.
Celisea
February 25th, 2011
10:39 am
Watch out PR and Fion – there’s room for all…so why not the church folks too? LOL Ain’t no stipulations invoked with the phrase “come as you are”
Leggs
February 25th, 2011
10:39 am
Goodness gracious! MC H ~ you have it going on in that you have women willing to travel to meet you and jump your bones within 2 hours of meeting (lol).
The two sites I’ve been on, I have honestly answered all questions. One thing I don’t want to do is put out a profile that doesn’t represent who I am. If by chance someone wants to meet me and I meet them, if there’s going to be any shock value it will be when I see them! I’m true to myself online and offline. If you don’t lie, you don’t have to worry about backtracking trying to keep your story straight.
SexyCool
February 25th, 2011
10:40 am
Cel – I know someone who may be interested in that job. Send me an email to cscfromajc@yahoo.com and I will forward you her resume.
Fion
February 25th, 2011
10:41 am
Preachers Daughter story,
went to High School with a Preachers daughter, sweet girl. Could always count on her to put any Liquor or Wine you wanted to slip in party into her purse.
She didn’t drink, but man she smoked more dope than any of us dudes.
……she always had that real oooooh-weeeee
Celisea
February 25th, 2011
10:41 am
SexyC…Okay. I’m going to ask a friend of mine in that same role about the pay range…see if I can get some answers from him.
kimmie
February 25th, 2011
10:44 am
Morning All!! TGIF and I mean it!
What’s up Brat??
Online or in person, take the time to get to know someone. Period. I had to do some investigative work to find out a guy I met was married once. Luckily I did my homework before we even went on our first date. And this was years ago, before match.com.
As for the lying about height/weight – well it is what it is. They’ll be found out the minute you meet them for the first time, so then you will have a decision to make! Was it just a slight exaggeration or boldface lie?
DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"
February 25th, 2011
10:45 am
Morning
People lie in every facet of dating, online or off. Just pay attention to people’s words and body language…time reveals. It is amazing what people will lie about though.
Fion
February 25th, 2011
10:49 am
@Dreams “It is amazing what people will lie about though.”
I’m not Colombo, but I do pay attention when dating.
I don’t react to everything that’s said, but if a woman says something That doesn’t add up, I file it.
Let me say this, the more unnecessary the Lie, the faster I run away. Sometime, you meet folks who lie for no reason at all.
You didn’t put any pressure on them at all to lie. You could have withstood the truth just as well as the lie, but yet in still they chose to lie.
Go figure.
Purple Rain
February 25th, 2011
10:49 am
on a blind date I have lied about the type of vehicle I drove and what I was going to wear just so that if I pulled up and she lied about her looks I could drive away without her knowing.
Black, that is funny. What about the woman who says she has a 36 DD, but did not mention that they are flat and wrinkled. Or what about the person who steals someone else photo entirely?
MC Hammock
February 25th, 2011
10:50 am
Leggs, I was VERY surprised! Not that I was complaining. I had heard that the “regular online” dating sites were at LEAST as bad (as far as people just wanting to hook up almost instantly) than the “Adult” hook up sites. Not all of them did and some were very stand-offish, but by and large it was a Sodom and Gomorah scene. They made no bones about what they were there for. They showed up, sweated for a couple of days and then went back home. There was no one that I would consider even remotely having an extended relationship with. It was just a very intense weekend one. Go figure….and they say that guys are the only ones that did this.
DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"
February 25th, 2011
10:51 am
Sometime, you meet folks who lie for no reason at all.
You didn’t put any pressure on them at all to lie.
Fion I call this volunteering lies. I didn’t even ask you about that, so why are you volunteering the lie?
SexyCool
February 25th, 2011
10:53 am
I have online dated in the past and much like others have posted – it’s as much of a crapshoot as meeting in person..And I agree, men add inches, women subtract pounds.
What I don’t really get, for men or women, are the super extra sexy poses in lingerie or topless photos.
But what was always the biggest red flag for me. No photos. For me, that almost *always* made me feel like the person was perhaps married or otherwise engaged.
BlackMagicWoman
February 25th, 2011
10:53 am
PURPLE..I have had my photo stolen. How pathetic are you that you have to lie? Eventually when this guy sees you he will see that you are not me!
I hope you were kidding. I know that you weren’t one of those punk dudes. If you don’t like the girl when you see her, at least go through with the date…standing her up is a bish move!
Purple Rain
February 25th, 2011
10:53 am
I did meet the lady when I was in Atlanta. she told me that her son played for the Orlando Magic, I thought she was lying….but she was hot and I continued to fool around with her. I went to her house eventually and met her son. He was a hater, but he did play for the Orlando Magic
i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")
February 25th, 2011
10:53 am
“They’ll be found out the minute you meet them for the first time”
kimmie — That’s what I never understood about misrepresenting yourself online… What do these people really expect to get out of it, except the “gas face” upon meeting face-to-face?
Also a good reason why video chat is a good idea before the first meet up…
MC Hammock
February 25th, 2011
10:53 am
One sent me a pic of her 75 lbs. ago, so I walked in to where we were supposed to meet, recognized her, but acted like I was still looking around. I just turned around and headed for the door. I know that’s pretty bad, but I’m sure there were ladies that did the same with me. I’m 6′5, so it’s not like you can miss me without trying….lol
Leggs
February 25th, 2011
10:54 am
“on a blind date I have lied about the type of vehicle I drove and what I was going to wear just so that if I pulled up and she lied about her looks I could drive away without her knowing.” Man, this tickled me. It’s only 10:52 and I’m already cracking up!
Purple Rain
February 25th, 2011
10:55 am
Black, well call me and spank me like a bish. If I pulled up and she lied about her appearance I was pulling/walking right back on out. No need for me to be a gentleman and spend money on someone who lied to me. Internet Porn is Free and more fun than a liar who is fat. LOL
Purple Rain
February 25th, 2011
10:58 am
Or the lady who has a 14 year old child and still talking about she is still trying to lose baby weight.
SexyCool
February 25th, 2011
10:58 am
I think I have shared my worst online dating story on here a few times. But here goes….
Met this really good looking guy on Yahoo Personals several years back. In all of his pictures, was sitting down. After some exchanges via IM then on the phone, he invited me over to his apartment (something I would never agree to today) and when he opened the door, he was in a wheelchair, paralyzed from the waist down.
Purple Rain
February 25th, 2011
11:00 am
SexyCool, wow what did you do?
That’s something you never think of asking a potential date. Are you in a wheelchair? But the positive side is that you will always have a good parking space.
Leggs
February 25th, 2011
11:00 am
I met a guy from an online service. We met in the parking lot of O’Charleys since he was delivering products (legitimate products I think) in the area. We chatted for about 30 mins. Chemistry seemed ok, but I did notice his dreads were in the back of his head much like Steve Wonder’s braides. Anywho, he called me later that evening and when I told him it was good to have finally met him he said he never met me but would like to. HUH? I told him I met him that afternoon and he swore up and down I hadn’t. I havent been on a online dating site SINCE! (Perhaps he wasn’t delivering legitimate products afterall!)
Fion
February 25th, 2011
11:01 am
@ Sexy
Wow! now that’s deep. Man, all I can say is ‘Wow”.
Leggs
February 25th, 2011
11:01 am
@SexyC ~ I remember you sharing that story and you handled the evening gracefully.
Celisea
February 25th, 2011
11:02 am
And lying ain’t limited to the ones coming out of the mouth. You can lie by withholding and just not quite telling all of it. You know, you hate to do a run down or give a person the 3rd degree but sometimes for some of these jokers if you don’t ask some things point blank and direct, they’ll never disclose. Really, if you ain’t shady you won’t try to find that gray area to hide the shenanigans. Again, back to the first page, actions and words need to be synonymous. I ain’t running the 3rd degree on anybody…IMO if I have to do all that then you’re character ain’t right. But it’s a catch 22…don’t do it and more than likely you gonna get a 3 faced joker.
Dan - Simply...Superior
February 25th, 2011
11:03 am
@SC
Somma us grew up on the edict of “not getting caught on camera”. Whether you were doing something good or bad.
And didn’t you say you have some injun in your family? Did you forget that “the camera takes your soul”?
Celisea
February 25th, 2011
11:04 am
I remember the wheelchair story…I don’t know what I would have done…seriously. I wouldn’t have been ugly but I might would have asked soooo, you didn’t tell me this.
Leggs…that’s funny
PR – You ain’t right man..lol
Raqi V
February 25th, 2011
11:04 am
Okay I was going to seat this one out since I am not feeling 100% today but after reading SexyCool’s wheelchair story and Leggs “it wasn’t me” story, I had to just come on to say thanks for the late morning chuckle. LOL
kimmie
February 25th, 2011
11:06 am
Swiss – I don’t get it either.
SexyCool
February 25th, 2011
11:06 am
Oh…yeah…Dan…right….
My other thought was that they were weird looking or ugly.
Purple Rain
February 25th, 2011
11:07 am
I think my worse blind date story was meeting a woman who had crooked teeth, that I could not stop staring at.
Purple Rain
February 25th, 2011
11:08 am
Leggs, LOL he sent his stand in.
Blackfoote
February 25th, 2011
11:08 am
I’ll pass on the net dating game. I want to see and touch who I may have an interest in. Too old school I am.
“on a blind date I have lied about the type of vehicle I drove and what I was going to wear just so that if I pulled up and she lied about her looks I could drive away without her knowing”
Purp: that say it all……LOL
Good Friday Morining:
MC Hammock
February 25th, 2011
11:10 am
People doing the online dating are generally pretty nice. Many didn’t want the hassle of going places to meet and sifting through the meat grinder. Online dating is just like going grocery shopping. You want this, not that, this is too expensive and I think this one is as good as that one and looks less expensive. I just did it in addition to my normal nocternal activities. Keep your pipeline always full, my VP of Sales would always say! LOL
SlimNumeroUno
February 25th, 2011
11:10 am
‘on a blind date I have lied about the type of vehicle I drove and what I was going to wear’
Purp – The dude I date now lied about what he was wearing when he decided to come meet me while I was already out on the town with my girls. I’m standing looking out over the balcony for a dude wearing all black. I do see a dude that fit that description talking on a cell phone but he wasn’t looking up for me. The fool was standing off in the cut watching me the whole time.
DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"
February 25th, 2011
11:10 am
I told him I met him that afternoon and he swore up and down I hadn’t.
Leggs Maybe dude sends his representative on all first dates, and if it goes well, you actually get to meet him. lol
Leggs
February 25th, 2011
11:10 am
Naw, PR, he sent himself in. He was just too freaking high to remember!