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Is your dating GPS broken?

On the Bravo show Millionaire Matchmaker,  Patty Sanger is often referring to the ” picker.”  It’s like some sort of uncontrollable dating GPS device that steers us toward a specific type.

She thinks that the male picker is, well his picker and women tend to pick based on security and wealth .  A bit sexist I think, but I suppose women aren’t considered as visual as men are in this regard.

I can’t with say with certainty that I have a single picker. If I were to have one though, it would be my brain. I am very much into a man’s intellect and heaven help me if the man has an extensive vocabulary. Seriously.

When we talked about chasing the instant connection this week,  I started thinking of the routes and paths we take looking for it.  Are we looking for love in the right places? Is there a right place?

Even when all conditions are right, we’re around those who have common likes and interests, our dating GPS can still direct us the wrong way. I’d argue that we can sometimes even get lost – and you know how some of us are about asking for directions.

Do you think you follow your instincts? Do you trust what your gut tells you? Does it generally guide you in the right direction?

Is it better to be lead by your head or your heart? Do you ever get a sense that your dating GPS is broken or malfunctioning? If so, how can it get fixed?

P.S. Maybe your Dating GPS can steer you toward Modern Day Matchmaker’s event this Saturday. The Quarterly Atlanta brings a new twist to mixing and mingling with flow dating (equal parts networking, speed dating,  flirting marathon). It’s sophisticated singles networking socially. Get your pickers ready!

P.S.S  One Degree From Me is offering Misadventures in Atlanta lucky readers a chance to win admission.  The first 5 guys and first 5 girls to email their name, age, phone number and why they believe they are so fly and a great catch (brandon@onedegreefrom.me) gets a shot at it. Good luck!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

481 comments Add your comment

Purple Rain

February 24th, 2011
11:41 am

“These women are not intelligent enough to follow a GPS let alone drive.” – Barry Azz Barry

Raqi V

February 24th, 2011
11:41 am

Thankfully I have had the good fortune of being able to retire my dating GPS but when I was using it I do believe that I had the thing upset down a few times. It took me way off course a time or two.

And the thing is the place it took me looked like the right destination but I soon found out, not soon enough though, that the location was already occupied by another. I upgraded my ‘picker” model after that.

One thing I learned is to first know what it is I truly wanted and where I wanted to go with it. I agree security is a big thing for me but not just financial security. I need emotional and mental security. I am a closet worrier so my man has to offer something that eases that emotional and mental turbulence of me worrying. He just makes it all stable and set for me. I can’t really explain it but I know what I am talking about.

I also need to feel physically secure in my man’s presence. Not that I am the type to cause ruckus nor do I expect him to stop bullets but there is feeling of security that I have walking alongside him. Maybe it’s his height…I don’t know LOL but he makes me feel safe.

I had met other guys that could have probably been a good pick but timing and other matters did not make those relationships accessible.
Just being where I am now I am glad I missed on the others because I love what I have here

Randyt (aka "tired of this coolie work, need to get on a plane somewhere)

February 24th, 2011
11:41 am

Bet he will wear a raincoat when he goes out from now on.

Never could understand why some guys correlate manhood with making children. Manhood is “what” you do, not “who” you did.

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

February 24th, 2011
11:42 am

When you’re an NFL starter (on a good team, no less), shouldn’t you be able to pull a higher quality of azz than that RHA drag queen? Just sayin’…

Purple Rain

February 24th, 2011
11:42 am

“Good things comes to those who wait, so I am going to be at least an hour late”- Kanye LOL

Dan - Simply...Superior

February 24th, 2011
11:42 am

I’ll say this,

In addition to having your GPS system updated, you should keep up the maintenance on the car. The body, the motor, the engine, oil, etc.

In addition to being in the right place (venue) to find love, be in the right place (emotionally/mentally) to find love. Because meeting “the one” is a product of both circumstances.

Purple Rain

February 24th, 2011
11:43 am

Hey there is someone for everyone, don’t knock the guy for knocking her up. Maybe they really like each other. Do they not deserve love, happiness and sex? LOL

Purple Rain

February 24th, 2011
11:44 am

Get your motor running, head out on the highway…looking for adventure…whatever comes my way

Purple Rain

February 24th, 2011
11:45 am

Dan, the GPS my gave the right coordinates but the vehicle is not road worthy. LOL

Randyt (aka "tired of this coolie work, need to get on a plane somewhere)

February 24th, 2011
11:46 am

@ swiss, true…the gal at Tattletales really liked me too, had nothing to do with the 10’s and 20’s I’m sure.

Purple Rain Kush

February 24th, 2011
11:46 am

Inhale/Exhale InHale/Exhale

Purple Rain Kush

February 24th, 2011
11:48 am

Swiss him being a starter for the Falcons is part of the problem, that city shows their players no love..fair weather fans. LOL

Purple Rain Kush "This ish right HERE!"

February 24th, 2011
11:49 am

Who is the lady anyway? What’s her claim to fame besides that reality show?

Randyt (aka "tired of this coolie work, need to get on a plane somewhere)

February 24th, 2011
11:49 am

meant (re Tattletales) at PR for Liking each other, not swiss…my bad. I’ve seen stranger partnerships than that that worked.

There was a gal in the town near where I grew up that had the nickname “Moby”. Very seet, but very large. A guy I graduated with started hitting it. She told him she was pregnant (couldn’t tell becaue of her size), so he married her. She was BSing him. They are still married and happy as far as I can telll.

Randyt (aka "tired of this coolie work, need to get on a plane somewhere)

February 24th, 2011
11:50 am

sweet not seet.

Purple Rain Kush "This ish right HERE!"

February 24th, 2011
11:51 am

Randyt, people keep dating Halle Berry’s crazy azz too. LOL

Dan - Simply...Superior

February 24th, 2011
11:52 am

I’m not just saying road worthy, be a good and responsible driver too.

Many times I’d meet women and we just weren’t in the same place at the same time, she’d want a relationship (or not) and I wouldn’t (or would) and seemed like I just couldn’t get right.

But along the way, instead getting down on myself and after getting down on the idea of love (hey, somma y’all remember), I realized that I needed to get me together first.

So in the phrasing of the metaphor: I took some driving courses, got better at the craft, practiced, and when the time came to take that trip, I was ready/willing/able.

That’s not to say I didn’t get lost or go straight at the fork in the road (a couple of times).

SlimNumeroUno

February 24th, 2011
11:52 am

Yall have to realize, that even though there may not be much difference from the Reality Show Kym to the Real Life Kym…he knew what he was getting into when he went out with her. It was no secret that she had been dating a rich married dude for Years…that she likes Nice, expensive things so he willingly signed up for that. We are so quick to judge and like Purp said, is she or him not deserving of love or a love child? lol

Purple Rain Kush "This ish right HERE!"

February 24th, 2011
11:52 am

Is it Randy-T or Ran-dyt?

Raqi V

February 24th, 2011
11:52 am

Dan, I agree that you have to be in the right place emotionally and mentally.

I do believe I let a couple of good ones go by because I was not at a good place at the time of our paths crossing.

But all in all I am glad I got it together, figured out where I wanted to go, calibrated the GPS , washed the windows to see clearly and am where I want and need to be now. I am at a great place with a great person. Me. And that affords me to be in a great relationship with a great man.

Randyt (aka "tired of this coolie work, need to get on a plane somewhere)

February 24th, 2011
11:52 am

I love Halle Berry’s “crazy azz”. Alway have. When she walked out of the water in that James Bond flick, I wanted to jump through the screen.

Purple Rain Kush "This ish right HERE!"

February 24th, 2011
11:54 am

Slim< I am mad at myself for even caring about it all. LOL

Randyt (aka "tired of this coolie work, need to get on a plane somewhere)

February 24th, 2011
11:54 am

Just Randyt, although a lady asked me if Randy was my name or my personality. I just said, “yes”.

Purple Rain Kush "This ish right HERE!"

February 24th, 2011
11:55 am

See Randy, even though you know she has been looney tunes since she was with that guy who played for the Braves you will still give her a shot. LOL

Purple Rain Kush "This ish right HERE!"

February 24th, 2011
11:56 am

That’s like signing a deal with Puff Daddy, just enjoy it while it lasts because it’s going to end once you have lost your luster. LOL

Purple Rain Kush "This ish right HERE!"

February 24th, 2011
11:57 am

I bet that guy could have done a lot worse than the Kim lady he got pregnant. LOL

Randyt (aka "tired of this coolie work, need to get on a plane somewhere)

February 24th, 2011
11:57 am

There are Ho’s that do it for the money, and Ho’s that do it because it is them…I guess I am the latter, PR. ;-)

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

February 24th, 2011
12:00 pm

RE: Halle… She’s hot & all, but I just can’t get that image of her buck-nekkid with Billy Bob out of my head… Kills it for me…

“Can you make me feel guuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuud?”

:lol:

Purple Rain "Why don't you purify yourself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka?"

February 24th, 2011
12:00 pm

Randyt, a Ho by any other name is just not the same. LOL

Purple Rain "Why don't you purify yourself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka?"

February 24th, 2011
12:01 pm

Swiss, I didn’t say I would kick her out of bed. I just would not date her. My GPS labeled her a “rest area” LOL

Purple Rain "Why don't you purify yourself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka?"

February 24th, 2011
12:02 pm

Billy Bob, had her and Angelina Jolie. He also had that little middle eastern guy humping him in Bad Santa.

AmazonRed™ - Show time...

February 24th, 2011
12:03 pm

We live in a time where all kinds of birth control & disease prevention are available like no time in history. And the main ones acting a fool are good and grown – not talking 14 year olds here. Nope, zero sympathy.

Lawd, don’t get me started. My friends “baby daddy” is hollering about how he got trapped. He’s convinced she wanted to get pregnant and that’s why she slept with him so quickly. But did he EVER use a condom? No. :? And this dummy is pushing 40. Come on, son.

AmazonRed™ - Show time...

February 24th, 2011
12:04 pm

Get your motor running, head out on the highway…looking for adventure…whatever comes my way

:lol: You are so dumb. :lol:

cba

February 24th, 2011
12:04 pm

That guy PR was David Justice

Randyt (aka "tired of this coolie work, need to get on a plane somewhere)

February 24th, 2011
12:04 pm

Can’t quite get it but Billy Bob has had and thrown away better than 99% of males will ever even have. Must have three legs with one longer than the other two.

Raqi V

February 24th, 2011
12:05 pm

Dan, I agree with that next comment you just made. Sometimes it does require taking refresher courses and becoming a better driver. As well as being better at following directions and knowing where it is you need to go rather than want to go.

You remember growing up and you wanted to go somewhere that all you friends were going and your parents told you no. You don’t need to go there. It worked out for our good. That’s the same with dating. There are folks that some of us can admit to knowing that we should have never gone down that road but we did and had to pay the toll of it.

We ignored the deadend signs, the detour signs and the wrong way signs. And above all the no trespassing signs. But because we liked what we saw on that road or thought we saw on that road we went anyway. Thankfully we made it out.

And another thing I learned about GPS, literally, not all of them are the same. Some do not have the capability of letting you know there is a road out or traffic jam up ahead. Some are just cheap while other you have to download updated software as you go along. The same applies to the dating pickers.

Purple Rain "Why don't you purify yourself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka?"

February 24th, 2011
12:12 pm

Amazon, LOL

cba, yes that’s him David Justice. He said she was crazy too along with all of her exes, it’s been a reoccurring theme for many years now. LOL

Randyt, Prince has thrown away some good ones as well. Billy Bob is doing something right. LOL

SlimNumeroUno

February 24th, 2011
12:12 pm

swiss – I felt so bad watching that scene with Halle and Billy Bob…if my memory serves me correctly, didn’t he go vomit right after they did it?

Raqi V

February 24th, 2011
12:13 pm

AmazonR, I just shake my head when I hear grown men talk about they got trapped as if they don’t know how babies are made. Yes relationships are about trust but you better be picky about who you trust like that.

Making raw deposits, I mean come on, you know what’s going on. And shade trees cast shade.

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

February 24th, 2011
12:14 pm

Angelina is another one that I just don’t get… Apart from Billy Bob, wasn’t she f__king her brother there for a while…? :lol: Just nasty.

Actually, there aren’t that many celebs that I find really sexy… Now, Kerry Washington could get the Swiss Full Body Tongue Rub any day… :lol:

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

February 24th, 2011
12:15 pm

“if my memory serves me correctly, didn’t he go vomit right after they did it?”

I wouldn’t know. I was too busy cleaning up my own vomit from watching them do it… :lol:

Purple Rain "Why don't you purify yourself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka?"

February 24th, 2011
12:17 pm

Swiss, they just kissed. LOL So are you saying that you would not have sex with Halle or Angelina?

I know it’s a lame excuse to say trapped, but are you saying that women have never trapped a guy by having his baby…or saying a child was his but afterwards he finds out it was not and she knew all along that it wasn’t? “That billie jean is not my lover…..she’s just a girl that says that I am the one……”

Celisea

February 24th, 2011
12:18 pm

Angelina is another one that I just don’t get… Apart from Billy Bob, wasn’t she f__king her brother there for a while…? Just nasty.

ummmm, yeah…if not actually screwing at least tongue deep throat…just nasty

Purple Rain "Why don't you purify yourself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka?"

February 24th, 2011
12:18 pm

Ans women have be known to poke holes in a condom. LOL

Raqi V

February 24th, 2011
12:18 pm

LOL Purple. I am not hating on Halle Berry because she is a beautiful woman. However, the number of “relationships” she has run thru just proves a pretty face does not a good mate make. I wonder does she have entitlement issues or is it just that she is not good at relationships or choosing mates. Some people just don’t have what it takes.

After awhile you grow to see that some men are just wanting “that experience” and nothing more. She needs to choose better.

Wise Diva

February 24th, 2011
12:19 pm

Hey everyone! I’ve had server problems ALL morning grr, trying to catch up
@ RandyT, you have such a way with words LOL

Purple Rain "Why don't you purify yourself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka?"

February 24th, 2011
12:19 pm

The pull and spray method is not an effective form of birth control

Raqi V

February 24th, 2011
12:20 pm

Ans women have be known to poke holes in a condom. LOL

That’s why you go prepared with your own supply. Men need to stop quickly just trusting women just because is giving to you regularly. Yall better look deeper.

AmazonRed™ - Show time...

February 24th, 2011
12:21 pm

Ans women have be known to poke holes in a condom. LOL

Yeah, but when you’re not using one in the first place… pipe down. :lol:

Purple Rain "Why don't you purify yourself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka?"

February 24th, 2011
12:21 pm

Raqi, I don’t know what her problem is. She may have self esteem issues or really ugly toes. LOL