accessAtlanta

City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Chasing the instant connection

Have you ever met someone and felt an instant connection with them? It feels like it’s deeper than mere physical attraction and yet it’s not “love at first sight” either.  It’s kind of like you connect somewhere in the middle.  It’s a pretty amazing feeling and it always seems to happen when you least expect it. Not sure, why that is, but this has been my experience.

The thing is, once you’ve had that really great, totally bananas connection with one person, you can feel as if you embark on this pursuit of the same instant connection with other people.  I think it’s probably the reason why there are so many missed connections because we keep comparing everyone to that one great connection.

Do you think it is a good idea to keep chasing that instant connection?  I’ve only felt it twice but I wonder if I will feel it again.

What do you think it means when you don’t feel instantly drawn to a person but over time it gets stronger? Isn’t that the way most relationships actually begin?  Do you believe that the instant connection means you have a better chance of getting to a relationship?

When was the last time you met someone and felt an instant connection with them? What do you think it was about them that made your introduction stand out?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

282 comments Add your comment

winkasdad29

February 22nd, 2011
8:32 am

Nah, don’t chase it. Each person and situation is different. Take your time, get to know someone first. The instant connection is a thing that just happens – you can’t make it happen. It’s kind of like your first serious love that lasted a long time – you may never feel that again – as much as you may want to.

Y'all Are Kids

February 22nd, 2011
8:44 am

If you keep chasing one particular feeling, you’re going to miss a lot. Everyone is different and every feeling is different. Variety is the spice of life. That instant connection is mostly just physical anyway.

Leggs

February 22nd, 2011
8:58 am

Good morning!

SlimSquareOne

February 22nd, 2011
8:58 am

A quick fast connection doesn’t equate to everlasting romance just as a slow simmering one does. Each situation(courtship) will generate, develop, crash and sink in their own unique ways.

Leggs

February 22nd, 2011
9:00 am

I kinda sorta had an instant connection with someone I thought I could have fun with and get to know better. However, when we met that second time, I soon realized he through the word “is” all over the place. That immediately killed any desire to go any further.

AmazonRed™ - back from vacay!

February 22nd, 2011
9:04 am

Morning all!

Let’s see…instant connection… not really. I remember setting my sights on a guy, and making sure we actually connected, but that was more of a constant decision rather than just getting struck by a person. I may expect the guy to make the first move, but I will set it in motion that he notices me and subsequently comes to me. :lol:

I think I’m not moved by “instant connections” because I know so much more is required than chemistry. I find I’m more drawn to people the more I get to know them!

Biff

February 22nd, 2011
9:07 am

You have to close the deal! I just had this happen with a hot 5′2″ natural THIN blonde with a good rack. It lasts a few weeks and then you move on to the next chick but you have to take care of business!

Its a shame so many chicks in the ATL are so fat. They are missing out on good times!

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
9:08 am

Instant connection I don’t believe in it, probably because I do not open up very quickly. But once you set a high standard whether it be from an experience or a personal desire you only have yourself to blame if you lower it or allow someone who does not meet your expectations to cloud your vision. Patience is a virtue.

AmazonRed™ - back from vacay!

February 22nd, 2011
9:16 am

All that being said above, I’d still think it would be nice to be struck by “the thunderbolt.” Fans of the Godfather know what I’m talking about.

Celisea

February 22nd, 2011
9:27 am

Morning,

Hmmmm, instant connection? Chasing the instant connection. Not into instant…you know if I’m not digging instant grits, coffee and stuff of that sort I’m definitely not doing instant love. Can’t say I’ve experienced instant but I have vibed and had mad chemistry coming out of the gate. Even with that I didn’t react to that as I feel “instant” tend to not yield not much of an outcome. I allowed it to play out and unfold.

Celisea

February 22nd, 2011
9:29 am

Right now, I’m so loving “whatsoever a man soweth, that will he also reap”….can’t do folks wrong and expect for a good outcome. Ahhhh, as my coworker says “ain’t God gooood?”

Oops, pardon me :)

Superman

February 22nd, 2011
9:41 am

I feel like getting into some trouble today… :)

kimmie

February 22nd, 2011
9:42 am

Morning Gang!

The instant connection/chemistry is wonderful when it happens, but it would be silly to expect that every time you meet someone. On the other hand, while the connection doesn’t have to be instant for me, it does need to be present rather quickly for me to continue with a person. I don’t believe in dating someone for months and Sundays, “waiting” for that chemistry to kick in. It’s been my experience that either we have it or we don’t. I don’t care how nice he is either, or how nice he thinks I am. If we’re both not feeling it – keep it moving.

Leggs

February 22nd, 2011
9:43 am

@Superman ~ you missed Lois Lane yesterday (a/k/a dreamslut). Perhaps she’ll come back today and you two can partay!

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
9:44 am

What did I miss yesterday?

SlimSquareOne

February 22nd, 2011
9:46 am

‘I feel like getting into some trouble today…’

Superman – That’s exactly what my ex from college said to me one time we were on the phone just catching up, YEARS after we dated. He was married at the time and sort of tried me…he was like, “Hey…you feel like getting into some trouble?” I told him he needed to go get into some trouble with his wife

Celisea

February 22nd, 2011
9:47 am

PR – Nothing much….just some chick coming on here saying most women on here are boring cause we don’t live slanging cleaving to get dudes to buy us drinks. Of course a couple thought it was cute though. That wasn’t surprising :)

TenderRoni

February 22nd, 2011
9:51 am

Gm,
Instant connections I find its usually one aspect about that person I really, really like. But the more I get to know them, that instant feeling I once had fades. I don’t chase a feeling.

And its not always about the physical. Years ago in my undergrad I took a psychology class and me and this dude would debate about different topics, we had instant intellectual connection. After that class we continued to talk, but it wasn’t the same. we decided to just be friends.

CalTransplant

February 22nd, 2011
9:52 am

The instant connection thing is odd….I really never believed in it….then it happened to me when I was 41 …..we met each other & my reaction was “oh, there you are.” And, if anything, his reaction was even stronger. Very very odd. The bad part is that I was (am) married….so nothing came of it (and he, thankfully, lived in another part of the country) but I can guarantee you that neither of us has ever forgotten it…..

Randyt (aka "tired of this coolie work, need to get on a plane somewhere)

February 22nd, 2011
9:52 am

Personally I’ve found what I thought was and instant connection only to get kicked to the curb before the second outing. Reading the tea leaves can be a bit misleading sometimes ;-)
…or as the wise old Indian said, “sometimes the magic works, sometimes it doesn’t”.

Randyt (aka "tired of this coolie work, need to get on a plane somewhere)

February 22nd, 2011
9:53 am

an not and, sorry

Dan - Simply...Superior

February 22nd, 2011
9:55 am

When that “boom” drops, it really feels like how doing illicit drugs feel (as explained to me by people that do them).

The first hit is magical, it takes you to places you never knew existed. Like how seeing her, smelling her, feeling her just felt different from any other woman.

And you chase that feeling. You want it again and again, but it’ll never be like that first time. You begin to see the effects of chasing [her/him] – lost weight, lack of focus, the loss of reality (you don’t see his/her red flags)- but you can’t shake it. By now, you need that feeling.

And like with any other brain altering chemical, once the effect of oxytocin (the neurochemical produced during romance/sex) wears off; you’re left with the object of your desire, the habit formed based on [her/him], and the reality of [who] you truly posses.

It’s in this time that the habit is excised or explored deeper.

BlackMagicWoman

February 22nd, 2011
9:57 am

Ah yes….the tingles, aka the tickles. I have met guys that give me the instant tingles. I knew I was physically attracted to them. So then it all boiled down to the intelligence and personality to determine whether he was a yay or a nay! But I love when I get the tingles. It makes me more interested in hanging out with him more often. If I get no tingles then it’s kind of like…”see ya when I see ya”! I know…I could miss out on a good guy by only really trying to know the guys who tickle my fancies. But it makes the difference in, going to dinner and then parting ways. Or going to dinner but not wanting to leave him yet so we take a walk or go have drinks or go get ice cream if the weather is nice. I’ve tried dating out of my comfort zone. But the girl wants what the girl wants damnit and I can’t fight it! :lol:

Randyt (aka "tired of this coolie work, need to get on a plane somewhere)

February 22nd, 2011
9:57 am

On the flip side, getting dragged to the BR on the first date is, while flattering, a bit confusing too.

SexyCool

February 22nd, 2011
9:58 am

Chasing an instant connection is like chasing a bigger and bigger high. Nearly pointless. Almost always setting yourself up for a disappointment and…in the long run, will have you running around doing senseless stuff and looking crackish and desperate.’

Now…allowing a connection to happen. Well, that is an animal of a different color and is a wonderful thing when the stars line up just right or…you happen to be sitting at the same bar on a late summer afternoon. (lol)

kimmie

February 22nd, 2011
9:59 am

BMW – Girl, I feel ya on the “girl wants what she wants”! I get/got tired of hearing about what I MIGHT be missing out on! Guess what – I can’t miss what I never had!

dreamslut

February 22nd, 2011
10:01 am

Instant connections are more about fun and not exactly what you want long term, but you never know. I meat lots of peoplr and some you just vibe with and others you don’t. You stay friendly, though, because you never know if it might develop into something. I agree that “Instant Connections” are more physical and “intimate” chemistry right off the bat. I don’t put each kind of “attraction” into a jar and label it. I just got with the flow, enjoy the moment and when/if it passes, I move on. Men that feel the “instant attraction” are just looking at our faces, rack, bum or legs. You can get to know us better and then the personality comes into play. I guess it depends on how INSTANT the connection is….ha ha

kimmie

February 22nd, 2011
10:01 am

you happen to be sitting at the same bar on a late summer afternoon.

SCool – Hey, how ya doin? Baby whatcha gettin into?…… :lol:

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
10:02 am

Celisea, so I did not miss anything.

I like the “aha!” moment after you have really gotten to know each other. LOL

Superman

February 22nd, 2011
10:02 am

Hey dreamslut!

Celisea

February 22nd, 2011
10:04 am

PR – Naaah.

Me too, on the aha moment.

dreamslut

February 22nd, 2011
10:07 am

Some of the posters here are being WAY too analytical and too serious. My god, it’s not like we are discussing the Theory of Relativity or Physics. It’s simple meeting, getting to know someone and seeing what they have. It’s called socializing and some of you should try it sometime. Every meeting isn’t a matter of life or death…Live, enjoy, smile, experience, laugh…

dreamslut

February 22nd, 2011
10:08 am

Hi Super Duper Man!

Randyt (aka "tired of this coolie work, need to get on a plane somewhere)

February 22nd, 2011
10:09 am

Totally off topic, but did y’all catcht he news item about how males are something like eight times more likely to develop mouth and throat cancer by having had performed oral $ex on six or more partners than by chewing tobacco?

I am going to have to think about that one awhile.

SexyCool

February 22nd, 2011
10:12 am

Advice from a slut….mmmmkay….

Celisea

February 22nd, 2011
10:19 am

Those folks taken hostage by Somali pirates are dead….gheesh, what is this world coming to?

BlackMagicWoman

February 22nd, 2011
10:19 am

KIMMIE…girl…you are so right! :lol:

SCOOL…. :shock: girl I almost spat out my hot coco reading that one! :lol:

RANDY..I am really picky about kissing. I don’t know where dude’s mouth has been. I do not want any of the Herpes simplexes! :lol: But that is crazy about the cancer though. Maybe the girls they went down on smoked and that increased thier odds! :lol: Pay me no mind…I am freezing, sleepy and goofy this morning! Damn you NYC weather..almost 70 on Friday and snow yesterday and brick cold today!

Me

February 22nd, 2011
10:25 am

SexyCool

February 22nd, 2011
10:27 am

Okay, dreamchik, really. We get it. Your life is mad fun. You get free drinks into the night just by showing a little skin. Party, party, party. Let’s all get wasted.

Um…yeah…okay.

All that is all fine and good and cute and has it’s place. But there is more to life than just winging it. And most of us longtimers on this board have realized that there has to be a balance. Some level headed thinking and looking ahead with some good old fashioned “Big Fun.”

But do you, love. It’s all good, really.

SexyCool

February 22nd, 2011
10:29 am

Cel – that’s messed up about those missionaries. Wow. So unfortunate that they took this particular gamble and lost. My heart goes out to their loved ones.

Y'all Are Kids

February 22nd, 2011
10:29 am

Randy – Male or female partners? Cause if it’s male partners, I’m cool.

Simple Man!!!!

February 22nd, 2011
10:30 am

Morning peeps…..

On topic….about 9 years ago, I was in Key largo with some buddies…One of the guys saw a young lady taking pictures as part of a wedding party…He gave me a pat onthe back and said, ” I think I just saw the woman I am going to spend the rest of my life with”… He walked over and introduced himself…4 months later they were married…I am having dinner with them tonight, And there is a magic in their bond that I would not have believed had I not benn there from the begining… In short I don’t think that will happen for me, but I know that it can, and I know that it does….

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
10:32 am

Although I mourn for the dead Americans. Why in the world would you go sailing in that part of the world or hiking in Iran for that matter. Those are known bad areas. That’s like taking a vacation in Egypt or Libya right now.

AmazonRed™ - back from vacay!

February 22nd, 2011
10:33 am

One of the guys saw a young lady taking pictures as part of a wedding party…He gave me a pat onthe back and said, ” I think I just saw the woman I am going to spend the rest of my life with”… He walked over and introduced himself…4 months later they were married…

Now that’s the thunderbolt!

Y'all Are Kids

February 22nd, 2011
10:34 am

PR – Same reason some people ride motorcycles and others roll Suburbans. People in Suburbans are 9ussies.

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
10:36 am

Seriously those pirates are taking barges and huge ships, why go through there in a sail boat?

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

February 22nd, 2011
10:37 am

Morning
I don’t chase instant chemistry. I just like to have a nice time with someone who also enjoys hanging out with me. Sure, it’s always nice to vibe with someone right off the bat, but some people are slower to open up than others. You have to wait for the flower to bloom to appreciate its real beauty.

dreamslut

February 22nd, 2011
10:40 am

I really don’t like being around people that seem so guarded, closed off and introverted. It’s like “What are you hiding or scared of?” Some people are just naturally suspicious of other people. I always assume the best of people until proven otherwise. I guess I just like people and enjoy meeting them and that’s why I’m good in sales and marketing.

Simple Man!!!!

February 22nd, 2011
10:41 am

Morning Ared…

“Now that’s the thunderbolt!”
LOL..Its was like in that moment, he changed!! We were friends since college, and I never saw him serious before that day..In that moment, He became the most committed, devoted guy in the world.

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
10:43 am

Yall. Sailing through that area you are more likely to get pirated than you are to get hit riding a motorcycle. I don’t get the Suburban reference?

dreamslut, can you explain your name. I would hate so make any assumptions.

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

February 22nd, 2011
10:45 am

“did y’all catcht he news item about how males are something like eight times more likely to develop mouth and throat cancer by having had performed oral $ex on six or more partners than by chewing tobacco? “

Randy — GOT DAMMIT! Well, it’s official: everything good gives you cancer. Et tu, pusse?

AmazonRed™ - back from vacay!

February 22nd, 2011
10:46 am

Its was like in that moment, he changed!! We were friends since college, and I never saw him serious before that day..In that moment, He became the most committed, devoted guy in the world.

Gosh, you have to love and HATE stories like this. Love it because you know this stuff can really happen. You hate it though, cuz you never know if it will ever happen to you. :lol:

I feel this way watching “Hitch.” :lol:

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
10:49 am

So the key to a male not getting throat cancer is to not pass 5 oral sex partners. LOL, make her earn her position. Good thing that does not pertain to women. So is it just six partners not how many times you do it with the initial 5? You are screwed if you were ever at a wild orgy.

Celisea

February 22nd, 2011
10:51 am

Ugh I got censored…breats and backside

dreamslut

February 22nd, 2011
10:51 am

PR, it’s really nothing to do directly with me in real life. I’ve been called a tease before, because of how social I am and I like to wear hot clothes and business suits. I do take care of myself, work out regularly and, while I don’t have the body of a porn star, I do get complements. I use that name because it simply garners attention on this blog. I work for a medical supply company, so I have to let loose on what I dream that I could act like, but don’t think it would be such a good idea in the real world. I guess I’m kind of like a man in my brain, but I don’t have the guts to act on it as much as I think about it. How’s that?

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

February 22nd, 2011
10:51 am

Purple / Randy — I don’t know why I even bothered spitting out my chaw before going downtown now… :lol:

Celisea

February 22nd, 2011
10:52 am

I can’t even say azz now?

Celisea

February 22nd, 2011
10:54 am

Ahhh so it wasn’t ass it was ass and t&ts that got my posts banned. Okay nevermind on that.

SexyC – My heart goes out as well. Life now for some on worth a couple of nickels and some stuff that can be stolen from a boat. Why not let them go, it ain’t like you’re law abiding and gonna face jail time. You over there doing whatever the heck feels good to you…Somalis that is.

Simple Man!!!!

February 22nd, 2011
10:56 am

dreamslut

February 22nd, 2011
10:51 am

Solid and fair explaination….. At this point..my mind will not go into the gutter whenever I see your post!!! :)

SexyCool

February 22nd, 2011
10:59 am

Swizzbeats – you’re a nutcase.

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
10:59 am

Dreamslut, thank you. I was with you until you got to the think like a man part. LOL

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
11:00 am

But if you advertise as a slut don not get mad when or if someone her treats you as such. LOL

AmazonRed™ - back from vacay!

February 22nd, 2011
11:01 am

And have you ever met someone and felt that connection so you’re a little excited. But then part of you won’t allow yourself to get too excited because all your other relationships you were excited about have crashed and burned too?

Randyt (aka "tired of this coolie work, need to get on a plane somewhere)

February 22nd, 2011
11:02 am

@ Y’all…the item was talking about male going down on multiple females. Made me think and do some major counting. If six makes you eight times more, does twelve make you sixteen times more…? Guess i thought that since I am a non-tobacco used that I was not a candidate…now I wonder.

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
11:03 am

Swiss/Randy- I do not believe those statistics, it was probably made up by a woman with a cheating husband. I am cancer free!

Amazon, we here that story daily on the blog. Women meeting a cool guy but ghosts of guys past rear their head and then the woman finds faults with the new guy or wont even allow her to really get to know the new guy

Randyt (aka "tired of this coolie work, need to get on a plane somewhere)

February 22nd, 2011
11:04 am

LOL @ Swiss. Gut feeling is I may be doomed…et tu?

dreamslut

February 22nd, 2011
11:04 am

@Simple. No problem. Actually, I hang out with guys most of my day in my job. I’m used to all the gutter talk. They don’t exactly hold back, you know. I just play along and add my own off color comments. They know I’m about 70% talk….especially at work.

SexyCool

February 22nd, 2011
11:05 am

ARed – it’s that whole “once burned, twice shy” lesson most tend to learn rather quickly.

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
11:05 am

I read something that said if a woman performs oral sex on a man at least 4 to 5 times a weak it will help her keep weight off, have a firm butt and perkier breast.

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
11:06 am

It may even get you a raise.

Randyt (aka "tired of this coolie work, need to get on a plane somewhere)

February 22nd, 2011
11:06 am

@ AR re: “But then part of you won’t allow yourself to get too excited because all your other relationships you were excited about have crashed and burned too?”

Almost every time. Probably causes the outcome in advance.

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
11:07 am

There is just something odd to me about a woman who will call herself a slut whether she is one or not.

dreamslut

February 22nd, 2011
11:08 am

PR, no one knows me on here, so I can say pretty much what is on my mind and have fun with it. I don’t sleep around, even though parts of me wish that I did…lol. I just let it roll off my back and go on. My friends and co-workers know how I am and the way I talk isn’t exactly the way I act, hence I get called a tease at times with wink and a nod. It’s all good. But the evil part of me in my mind would make a sailor blush..ha ha

AmazonRed™ - back from vacay!

February 22nd, 2011
11:08 am

Amazon, we here that story daily on the blog. Women meeting a cool guy but ghosts of guys past rear their head and then the woman finds faults with the new guy or wont even allow her to really get to know the new guy

PR – That’s more like self sabatoge and we do see that daily.

I’m talking more about holding back about “falling” for someone when all you really have to go on is feelings. Like, maybe you could be that person who gets married after 4 months, but you don’t think it’s really realistic, so you just stay cautious….

Randyt (aka "tired of this coolie work, need to get on a plane somewhere)

February 22nd, 2011
11:08 am

@ PR re: “I read something that said if a woman performs oral sex on a man at least 4 to 5 times a weak it will help her keep weight off, have a firm butt and perkier breast”.

…in time all becomes clear. So this is why my ex-wife grew a big butt, floopy boobies, and gained weight? You may be right there.

Y'all Are Kids

February 22nd, 2011
11:09 am

Randy, even if you spread them out over a longer period?

Holy crap! Spread…period…I kill me!

AmazonRed™ - back from vacay!

February 22nd, 2011
11:09 am

Almost every time. Probably causes the outcome in advance.

Hmmm…. you might be on to something there…

BlackMagicWoman

February 22nd, 2011
11:09 am

“have you ever met someone and felt that connection so you’re a little excited. But then part of you won’t allow yourself to get too excited because all your other relationships you were excited about have crashed and burned too”

ARED…that is the story of my life! If I meet a guy and I like him…my first thought is…what’s wrong with him? I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop!

AmazonRed™ - back from vacay!

February 22nd, 2011
11:10 am

There is just something odd to me about a woman who will call herself a slut whether she is one or not.

Odd, tacky, stupid, silly… any of those words would apply. :lol:

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
11:10 am

Where is Raqi or any woman who has had a kid and was married during the pregnancy?

Does pregnancy kill wanting to be affectionate and the sex drive of a woman? When does it come back? It is cold indoors and out up here. That reminds me I need to buy more paper towels.

AmazonRed™ - back from vacay!

February 22nd, 2011
11:12 am

ARED…that is the story of my life! If I meet a guy and I like him…my first thought is…what’s wrong with him? I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop!

Drives you crazy doesn’t it?

And I wouldn’t even want to marry someone I only new for 6 months. But I would like to feel that “wow, he could really be the one” without the practical side going “take your time, proceed with caution.”

SexyCool

February 22nd, 2011
11:12 am

Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.

The power of life and death is in the tongue. (Okay…I’m laughing at this for so many reasons this morning.) (lmao)

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
11:14 am

dreamslut, so basically don’t believe what you say because it may not be the truth? LOL yes you are a normal woman.

Amazon, Okay I understand now. It is scary to just go on feelings because you think it might not end in a success. Sometimes you have to take the risk. Those are the times when you keep the relationship to yourself so that everyone is not in your business and if it does work you tell people afterwards of your amazing story.

Randy, see the story I read is fact. Not like that man throat cancer deal. LOL

Y'all Are Kids

February 22nd, 2011
11:14 am

SC – Sounds like lip service to me!

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
11:17 am

SexyCool, I get you. :)

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
11:18 am

dreamslut, well welcome to the blog. I am Plito and I call it like I see it. LOL

AmazonRed™ - back from vacay!

February 22nd, 2011
11:18 am

Those are the times when you keep the relationship to yourself so that everyone is not in your business and if it does work you tell people afterwards of your amazing story.

Exactly. :lol:

But you know it sucks having to keep it to yourself! That is, until the relationship goes bad. Then it was just smart. :lol:

dreamslut

February 22nd, 2011
11:19 am

The Instant Connections thing goes on a lot. Sometimes it’s personal and sometimes it’s professional. It’s just having that same vibe. I’m very emotional and can instantly like someone due to physical appearance. But once they open their mouth, it can fade very quickly. Men can be gorgeous, but also cocky, arrogant or just plain boring. Same with women. Men like the outter part, but the inner is pessamistic, whiny or complaining too much. That’s the journey. Just meeting a lot of people and throwing out the refuse that you don’t want.

dreamslut

February 22nd, 2011
11:21 am

If you never go out on a limb, you’ll never get to taste the fruit!

dreamslut

February 22nd, 2011
11:22 am

Gotta run. Gotta run go make some money. Caio!

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
11:23 am

Amazon, sometimes our friends and advice are the worse things in a new relationship.

dreamslut, nice use of the word “refuse” where are you from? Oh yeah there is one person that I call Dream on here and I really don’t want to call you a slut so I am going to call you “DS” but darn that has a bad meaning also….you need another nickname.

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
11:25 am

I think you meant Ciao’.

dreamslut is a regular playing games huh?

SlimSquareOne

February 22nd, 2011
11:27 am

‘And have you ever met someone and felt that connection so you’re a little excited. But then part of you won’t allow yourself to get too excited because all your other relationships you were excited about have crashed and burned too?’

Ared – Yup and it doesn’t help one bit to soften the blow of disappointment & hurt

SlimSquareOne

February 22nd, 2011
11:31 am

‘Those are the times when you keep the relationship to yourself so that everyone is not in your business and if it does work you tell people afterwards of your amazing story’

Great words of advice…because when you’re walking around looking obviously hurt or upset folks won’t be salivating waiting to hear of your demise and temporary misery. I’m not sure which they rather hear…the good lovey dovey part of the courtship or when the shoe drops and all that lovey dovey turns to tears and trying to keep it together

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
11:35 am

Slim, it happens on the blog. When a person meets a new guy/gal there are one or two comments but when she says there is something she may think is wrong with the new guy/gal that person is made out to be Jeffrey Dahmer. LOL

Da_Man!

February 22nd, 2011
11:45 am

I’m only chiming in b/c I heard there was a Dreamslut on the board. I hate to say it but I’m instantly intrigued by “almost” anything slut related …

SlimSquareOne

February 22nd, 2011
11:47 am

I like this quote:
“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should be just friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”
Neil Gaiman

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
11:52 am

Leggs

February 22nd, 2011
11:55 am

Just finished the blood drive. I see dreamslut has arrived, explained her name, closed SimpleMan’s mouth, PR not necessarily vibing with her as is the case with others.

@dreamslut ~ to be honest with you, when you came on yesterday I read your posts all the while Donna Summer’s “Bad Girls” played in my head. But, I liked your explanation for your moniker. However, sounds like “dreamslut” may be your alter ego.

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

February 22nd, 2011
11:57 am

sounds like “dreamslut” may be your alter ego.
So what is everyone else’s alter ego?

Da_Man!

February 22nd, 2011
12:00 pm

sounds like “dreamslut” may be your alter ego.
So what is everyone else’s alter ego?

I could live with MobyDick …

Willie Dynamite

February 22nd, 2011
12:08 pm

Afternoon All,

I see M..E..L..O has been replaced with a Slut. he would be so proud .

On Topic – As with almost everything else, if you are chasing the instant connection then the chase becomes the connection. Like someone earlier said it just begins an endless spiral. It becomes the expectation and when that falls short whether the person is a good thing for you or not then it falls by the wayside. Not saying its right or wrong. Just is, and that happens to be alot of peoples comfort zone.

AmazonRed™ - back from vacay!

February 22nd, 2011
12:08 pm

So what is everyone else’s alter ego?

I am… Sasha Fierce!

BlackMagicWoman

February 22nd, 2011
12:10 pm

DREAMS…you know I have way too many Alter Egos that come out when they want to! :lol: But Let’s see:

Lola
Ava
Closet Geek
Black Mamba

Need I name more? :lol:

DMV

February 22nd, 2011
12:16 pm

I saw a few ladies this weekend at Tattletails that I would call Power Girl……*jeese

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
12:17 pm

My Altar Ego is Tone Loc..and I like to do tha willllllllllllld thang!

DMV

February 22nd, 2011
12:23 pm

Purple, my brother got lucky. He got married 4 years ago and he said that he’s descended into hell. His wife still wants to do dat thang most every day whether he wants to or not. What’s that old saying “The thing about marrying a nympho is that the first three weeks you think you’ve died and gone to heaven. After that, you think you’ve died and gone to hell.” I’m just sayin….

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
12:25 pm

DMV, I don’t need it all of the time but she makes me feel bad like it’s a chore for her when I do. We’ve gone from 6 or 7 times a week to 2 and before where I did 70% of the work I now do 98%. Bummer! LOL

Leggs

February 22nd, 2011
12:27 pm

I am cracking up at MobyDick.

@ARed ~ I was given Sasha Fierce a few years ago by an admirer. Too funny.

I just came up with one for myself that my dancer teacher told me I do very well….let me mull over this a little more.

DMV

February 22nd, 2011
12:32 pm

Purple, she hasn’t lost one step from their dating days. He said that they just can’t sit down and watch TV without her getting all doggy on him. I figure he’s a LOT better looking to her than what I see or she’s been taking testosterone injections. He’s worried that if he goes into a “Gimme some rest” routine, she might get upset. He’s taking freaking VITAMINS because of her. He’s hilarious!

And I’m jealous….

DMV

February 22nd, 2011
12:33 pm

I would give my right leg for 2 times a week, Purple. Dang……

AmazonRed™ - back from vacay!

February 22nd, 2011
12:34 pm

she makes me feel bad like it’s a chore for her when I do. We’ve gone from 6 or 7 times a week to 2 and before where I did 70% of the work I now do 98%. Bummer! LOL

Strap a bowling ball to your stomach and see how much you enjoy sex after that. :lol:

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
12:35 pm

DMV, I guess I should not complain then lol

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
12:35 pm

Amazon, Deal!

AmazonRed™ - back from vacay!

February 22nd, 2011
12:36 pm

DMV – A friend of mine still wants it all the time too. Her husband gets sidetracked by worries like bills and chores and doesn’t mind missing a few nights. But he loves to play golf, so she has made a deal with him…every time he golfs, she gets some. He’s going away on a golf trip during their anniversary this year, so he’s gonna have some heavy sex payments when he gets back! :lol:

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
12:39 pm

She had the higher sex drive before and now it’s me. Darn, the baby is a hater.

Melania

February 22nd, 2011
12:40 pm

I had to break up with my boyfriend (now fiance)several times before I realized he was the one. My love at first sight crush was just that…a crush. I was so torn between them until I realized that the one who had my heart was the one that I knew loved me – for me, flaws and all. A man who knows a woman has the capacity for greatness will nuture that. So ladies..If he is psychotic and always on the fence, do yourself a favor and walk away.

DMV

February 22nd, 2011
12:41 pm

Ain’t it the truth, Amazon! It’s either one extreme or the other. Either it’s twice a day and hanging from the ceiling or they act like it’s a trip to the dentist. Wonder what happens to us, ya know? One of my wife’s friends said that while she was preggie, all she thought about was sex. I guess it’s different for each cat.

AmazonRed™ - back from vacay!

February 22nd, 2011
12:43 pm

Darn, the baby is a hater.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

AmazonRed™ - back from vacay!

February 22nd, 2011
12:46 pm

Ain’t it the truth, Amazon! It’s either one extreme or the other.

Actually, I think they’re are couples that find the right balance, but they don’t tell anyone. :lol:

Raqi V

February 22nd, 2011
12:50 pm

Good Afternoon.

I have a couple of experiences where I thought I had an instant connection but it fizzled out no sooner than they were out of my sight.

I had an instant connection with my son’s father but that taught me to take the time to better get to know someone rather than going with that instant grab.

Some of the better dates I have had were taking time to get to know the man. I can’t help but speak up my husband and the year long built up of a connection that we developed. For those that cook they know what I mean when I say sometimes those dishes that simmer and steep for hours is the best. The herb and spices have time to fuse and marry making the dish to die for. I am pleased and thankful for where he and I are at this point in our lives. But I do know that just because it is working out good for us does not mean it would have happened the same had it been a different guy.

Melania

February 22nd, 2011
12:51 pm

@DMV…if she is complaing about those extra pounds, tell her The power of love (SEX) to change bodies is legendary,common sense, and should be an everyday experience. Love moves the flesh, it pushes matter around…. Throughout history, “tender loving care” has uniformly been recognized as a valuable element in healing….So do it until your satisfied! :)

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
12:55 pm

Stop eating so much and just being a couch potato, that will help you lose the pounds. LOL, ever seen people complain about their weight and buy dvd’s, gym memberships and NEVER work out at all.

Simple Man!!!!

February 22nd, 2011
12:59 pm

” so he’s gonna have some heavy sex payments when he gets back!”

Why the hell can’t I ever have a problem like that???

Leggs

February 22nd, 2011
1:05 pm

Probably because you’re not married, SimpleMan! Husbands and wives exchange I.O.U’s all the time (lol).

Raqi V

February 22nd, 2011
1:43 pm

Husbands and wives exchange I.O.U’s all the time (lol).

Yep.

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

February 22nd, 2011
1:57 pm

Husbands and wives exchange I.O.U’s all the time
Heck naw, pay me up front, or at least set up a payment plan. lol

DMV

February 22nd, 2011
2:04 pm

@DreamsMaterialize, I’m with ya, bub. How about lets do a rental agreement with payment due weekly. I’ll rent you for an hour or two each week and you can rent me. I’ll even wear a different wig and speak with a different accent each week if it helps. LMAO

SlimSquareOne

February 22nd, 2011
2:05 pm

So since married folk use I.O.U’s, does that mean single folk are on an AOD basis? (Ass on delivery)

Raqi V

February 22nd, 2011
2:06 pm

LOL DreamsMat.

An IOU simply means I am aware and I understand your present need and you know I am more than willing to join you in taking care of it however XYZ does not permit me to do so at this moment but tomorrow I promise I will make a lite dinner, get the kids to bed early and then it’s you and me on until the break of dawn.

Raqi V

February 22nd, 2011
2:07 pm

LOL No Slim. We do have SOD (sex ondemand) but sometimes you have to wait a night before pressing the button.

BlackMagicWoman

February 22nd, 2011
2:11 pm

” I’ll even wear a different wig and speak with a different accent each week if it helps”

DMV…you rang? :lol: That is me all day!

DMV

February 22nd, 2011
2:12 pm

Raqi V, how about the good ‘ol days when we WANTED to do that instead of “I’m aware of your need, so I guess we’ll do it.” That just takes ALL the steam out of the sails. Whatever happened to “I can’t wait until we get home, pull over here.” or “grabbing me/you by the collar and one of us say “I’m gonna make you limp for a week!”….you know….THAT kind? Now it’s like a financial agreement, go over the terms and if the proposal is approved by both parties, we decide to get naked. It’s mechanical. I’ts like a chore. It’s like a high school term paper. You know you gotta do it, so you may as well go ahead and do it. Remember what it was like before then? OK….I’m done venting….pant, pant.

Leggs

February 22nd, 2011
2:14 pm

A payment plan is a form of an I.O.U (now matter how you slice it). :wink:

Leggs

February 22nd, 2011
2:15 pm

Exactly, Raqi V @ 2:06.

cba

February 22nd, 2011
2:15 pm

It’s after 2:00pm, my rant for today. Of all the freaking people on this planet, lard-azz Rush Limbaugh has the audacity to call out the first lady about her physique. Said she doesn’t have the type of body that Alex Rodriquez (sp) would like and she couldn’t be on the cover of SI.
All this to criticize the woman for trying to get kids to exercise and make better food choices.
Then you have Sarah Palin and Michele Bachman tossing stones from the peanut gallery.

Raqi V

February 22nd, 2011
2:16 pm

I’m aware of your need, so I guess we’ll do it

DMV that happens also. It’s better than your wife/husband saying they couldn’t careless about your need.

Leggs

February 22nd, 2011
2:19 pm

@cba ~ as long as Victoria Bechham doesn’t get into this, we can ignore the other two females. Somethings you just let roll down your back. The First Lady is laughing heartedly at both of them.

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
2:21 pm

An I.O.U. is better than a spouse saying I have options. LOL

Leggs

February 22nd, 2011
2:23 pm

Yep, PR. She still cares for you and your feelings. The “option” chick could give a rat’s a$$ what you care or feel about!

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
2:23 pm

The First Lady is in great shape, look at those arms and legs when she wears workout clothes and her posture when she stands and moves speaks volumes about her workout regime. Rush Limbaugh is a walking heart attack.

DMV

February 22nd, 2011
2:24 pm

Well, I guess it’s better…but not by much. It’s like giving a starving person a piece of bread and say “OK, here….I’ve fed you. Now go somewhere and play.”

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

February 22nd, 2011
2:24 pm

but tomorrow I promise I will make a lite dinner, get the kids to bed early and then it’s you and me on until the break of dawn.
Raqi That sounds like a Wimpy line “I’ll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.” lol I know that’s how married folks have to do…glad I’m single…for now. lol

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
2:25 pm

The drastic change is what caught me off guard, my vixen will be back one day. LOL

Leggs

February 22nd, 2011
2:26 pm

Awwww, Popeye’s sidekick.

Leggs

February 22nd, 2011
2:27 pm

LOL at you PR. That’s an area where men truly do not understand. You call it a “drastic” change, and this woman is carrying another human being inside of her…it was not drastic!

Raqi V

February 22nd, 2011
2:28 pm

Leggs, and I an IOU is much better than “good grief”. At least making a promise for a later or different time or date says you so at least have the desire to relate with your mate.

There are some partners out there getting the cold shoulder and emphatic NO’s.

DMV

February 22nd, 2011
2:28 pm

@DreamsMaterialize…it’s usually “OK, I’ve got a few minutes to between Gray’s Anatomy and Private Practice. Just be sure you make the bed afterwards.” Single and sexing was SO much better than the married version…IMO

Raqi V

February 22nd, 2011
2:29 pm

glad I’m single…for now.

DreamsMat, so when you are dating or in a relationship with a woman she is always willing and able to go? Where they do that at?

Raqi V

February 22nd, 2011
2:30 pm

Single and sexing was SO much better than the married version

DMV, the same question I asked DreamsMat you answer.

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
2:30 pm

It is a drastic change Leggs, it went from one extreme to another. I am not saying I don’t understand it because I do and respect it. It’s just a drastic change from the normal activities and exploits.

SexyCool

February 22nd, 2011
2:31 pm

“Where they do that at?” echoing Rock.

sreanslut

February 22nd, 2011
2:31 pm

Hi everybody. Just pulled into a Taco Mac and using their WiFi to do some orders and paperwork. Thought I’d check in and see if I missed anything.

Leggs

February 22nd, 2011
2:31 pm

Exactly, Raqi V. An I.O.U. trumps a “good grief” any day, err day!

dreamslut

February 22nd, 2011
2:31 pm

oops…can’t type and eat at the same time

Raqi V

February 22nd, 2011
2:34 pm

I am seriously laughing out loud at these men implying that when a woman is single she never does not want to have sex or find herself in a situation where she cannot have sex. Seriously what island are these woman on. I was single for long time so I know single women.

That is unless you men aren’t sexing the same woman consecutively. If you juggling women like the cash three machine then yeah I guess you can get it whenever you want. But that’s a life everyone chooses to live.

Leggs

February 22nd, 2011
2:35 pm

Is sreanslut and dreamslut the same person just with bad typing?

Leggs

February 22nd, 2011
2:35 pm

Nevermind…

Raqi V

February 22nd, 2011
2:36 pm

But that’s a life NOT everyone chooses to live.

DMV

February 22nd, 2011
2:36 pm

It’s not like they were ready 100% of the time, but all it took was a little kissy kissy, some rubbing and the show started. Most importantly, it was like she wanted and enjoyed it as much as I did. It was the passion, the desire, all of that. When my bride and I dated, we did it in a movie theater once, once in the closet of her work, really miost anywhere we could think of. My office desk or just in my office was about her fav. Now it’s only in the bed and probably no longer than 8-10 minutes. Before we would spend an entire afternoon in bed….

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
2:36 pm

It went from me seeing her in her short shorts and being able to slap the hiney and it was on wherever in the house we were. LOL, now I still get to slap the hiney and she likes it but then I hear “not now tesoro mio” LOL I tell her that it’s not fair for her to be that beautiful and I can’t enjoy it when I want to.

Randyt (aka "tired of this coolie work, need to get on a plane somewhere)

February 22nd, 2011
2:37 pm

If they ever determine that broccoli is a libido enhancer then I am hosed because I am not eating broccoli…not going to happen.

dreamslut

February 22nd, 2011
2:38 pm

Sorry Leggs. Typed and didn’t pay attention

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
2:38 pm

DMV, you have to give her more than 8 to 10 minutes. There are some exercises you can do to nor get to your point so fast.

Leggs

February 22nd, 2011
2:39 pm

@Raqi V ~ are you laughing over there like I am???

SexyCool

February 22nd, 2011
2:39 pm

Yeah, but DMV, I am sure you were romancing her a helluva lot more then than you are now.

It’s funny how that flirting, romancing, special attention thing pays off.

Just like women are accused of cutting off the sex, men sometimes cut off the affection.

Why does the other grass *seem* greener? Because you stopped watering the yard on your side of the fence.

Raqi V

February 22nd, 2011
2:40 pm

SexyCool, I guess there is a species of women out there that we are not aware of. LOL

Leggs

February 22nd, 2011
2:41 pm

That is laughing at DMV and PR. PR, you enjoyed it so much when YOU wanted to she is now giving you a gift of thank you (LOL)!

@RandyT ~ I love broccoli!!

Randyt (aka "tired of this coolie work, need to get on a plane somewhere)

February 22nd, 2011
2:44 pm

Regarding the sex deive of single women vs.. married women…hmmmm. I’ve met a lot of divorcees that were like “Cougar Town”, but often it is a lot about validation I suspect as much as sex drive. They reach a point where they want to know if they are attractive anymore since they have been kicked to the curb, or been beaten down while extracating themselves from a bad marriage. “Ashleymadison.com” if they don’t want to wait for validation.

Am I have been very happy being the “vali-dater” ;-) (Now I have to worry about mouth and throat cancer…geez.

Re married woman, I think married PEOPLE have a bad habit of thinking they no longer have anything to prove, or maybe don’t have to try. WRONG…should never stop trying to make it great, never, never, never.

Simple Man!!!!

February 22nd, 2011
2:44 pm

Married people have too many sex rules….

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

February 22nd, 2011
2:44 pm

At least making a promise for a later or different time or date says you so at least have the desire to relate with your mate.
Raqi It depends on your track record of making good on your IOU’s. If you never make good, then at some point the IOU’s become junk bonds. lol

so when you are dating or in a relationship with a woman she is always willing and able to go? Where they do that at?
Raqi A married person has to (if they’re a good spouse) accept the IOU, whether it’s honored or not. A single person doesn’t have to rely on IOU’s. If I’m with a woman whose drive is not compatible with mine, then I can choose to date someone else.

DMV

February 22nd, 2011
2:45 pm

No Purple….that’s the time she gives ME. Includes kissing and disrobing….no joke. I would love some cuddling and schmoozing leading up to it.

Raqi V

February 22nd, 2011
2:46 pm

DMV, either you were not spending much time with her doing other things outside of having sex or it’s all in your mind.

When you are seeing and getting together with someone a couple of times a week in your mind you are having a lot of sex because you are doing it every time you are together. But when you start to spend every single day together it may seem to you that the relating dropped off because you are not doing it every time you see each other. And the life brings interrupts and there is more to life and relationships than sex.

Raqi V

February 22nd, 2011
2:46 pm

Leggs, yes just as hard.

Raqi V

February 22nd, 2011
2:48 pm

Just like women are accused of cutting off the sex, men sometimes cut off the affection

Exactly. You have to keep feeding the meter.

cba

February 22nd, 2011
2:49 pm

OK Leggs, I get your reference to Victoria Beckman; had to google her. Familiar with spice girls, but not their individual names.
Oh, I read your post early this morning about “IS”. Long after blogging is obsolete, I will always think of you whenever I see the verb “IS” :-) That brotha just doesn’t know the everlasting impression he left on you, is.

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

February 22nd, 2011
2:49 pm

Exactly, Raqi V. An I.O.U. trumps a “good grief” any day, err day!
Leggs This is a distinction a single person never has to make. lol

Simple Man!!!!

February 22nd, 2011
2:51 pm

“A married person has to (if they’re a good spouse) accept the IOU, whether it’s honored or not. A single person doesn’t have to rely on IOU’s. If I’m with a woman whose drive is not compatible with mine, then I can choose to date someone else.”

Yup…or you can just catch up with that freaky girl you can always count on when you want / need her…

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
2:52 pm

Leggs, you have me mistaken. I said that her drive was always more than mine so if anything I was doing it when SHE wanted to and for her of course I enjoyed it but she was the one who wanted it morning noon and night everyday and now to 2 times a week. That’s why I said it was a drastic change. LOL

DMV

February 22nd, 2011
2:52 pm

Never met a woman that totally discounts any extended foreplay. Just get busy and get done…..before 9:00.

SexyCool

February 22nd, 2011
2:52 pm

Plus…when you’re just dating, you can let the laundry go a day or so while you lie around in bed relating or put off running the errands on a Saturday morning, but when you are living in the same household, when do you expect that to get done?

Because if I’m laying in bed with you all day, the meals are not going to cook themselves, the toilet is not going to magically clean itself, the dusting does not get blown away by Richter scale oh’s, the groceries don’t buy themself, the laundry doesn’t fold itself.

Please believe that I cannot sex you enough to make those things not matter. Because before you know it, you will be calling me the junkiest, messiest, nastiest chick in creation.

But…at least you sack will be empty.

Um..yeah…okay…side eye on that.

SexyCool

February 22nd, 2011
2:53 pm

DMV – you should buy a DVR.

Raqi V

February 22nd, 2011
2:54 pm

A single person doesn’t have to rely on IOU’s

DreamsMat, truthfully, honestly neither does a married person but that a book of a different publisher.

Single people, which I once was, that choose to be in a relationship are very much willing to accept an IOU. That’s what relationships are all about. But I do understand that you don’t care for being in a relationship so nothing I say will matter to you.

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
2:54 pm

LOL, I must have married an odd ball. She is not with all of the foreplay all of the time, maybe every now and then. But when it’s time to get to business it is just that. I used to feel like a piece of meat, and I liked it. But now that we have a bambino on the way it’s all hugs and cuddling and everything is we did not used to do to much of. LOL

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
2:56 pm

Can honestly say never had to do the I.O.U. thing yet willingly. I just read the vibe and a good predator knows when it is time to pounce. LOL

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

February 22nd, 2011
2:58 pm

DMV, either you were not spending much time with her doing other things outside of having sex or it’s all in your mind.
DMV Understand that, no matter what you do, it will always be your fault that your wife isn’t giving you any. The other day ME was on here saying that he romanced his wife, told her how beautiful she was on a regular basis, took her out, did laundry and chores, paid the bills on time, painted the house, worked out, pulled the sun closer when she was cold, convinced God to guarantee her spot in Heaven, and it was STILL all his fault. There HAD to be SOMETHING he wasn’t doing or doing right.

Raqi V

February 22nd, 2011
2:58 pm

LOL SexyCool, I mean really, who are these women they are in relationships with.

My man and I seeing each other a few times a week does not match up to living in the same household. Life happens.

Leggs

February 22nd, 2011
2:59 pm

Thanks for the continued laugh, cba!! Is or isn’t IS!

Raqi V

February 22nd, 2011
2:59 pm

The other day ME was on here saying

Then he came back a day or two later with a whole different story on how their relationship had been.

DMV

February 22nd, 2011
3:00 pm

I agree with DreamsMaterialize….too, too many rules…..just too many hoops, conditions and rules for what we used to do just because the wind changed direction….lol

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
3:01 pm

Dreams, Me was too nice, Hey..was ME the guy kissing the girl in the club? LOL

It wasn’t ME. LOL

Melania

February 22nd, 2011
3:01 pm

@PR wait until the bambino comes…you will get IOU’s :)

Raqi V

February 22nd, 2011
3:02 pm

just because the wind changed direction

Which is what? Expecting the cow to live on just air after you bought?

Randyt (aka "tired of this coolie work, need to get on a plane somewhere)

February 22nd, 2011
3:03 pm

Heard in a column long before I got married that “there are no fridgid women, only clumsy men”. Like I said, that was before I got married.

The bigger problem is the resentment that builds in both parties. The man for “leaving the table still hungry all the time” and the woman for “not feeling romanced”. Once the resentment starts buildiing, pride, stubborness, and a measure of fear of rejection sets in.

cba

February 22nd, 2011
3:05 pm

One of my female friend told me that her husband didn’t want to have sex with her during her pregnancy. She became so frustrated that she locked the bedroom door and put a chair behind the door. She told him that he was not getting out until she got what she wanted. When she told me the story, I could still see the anger in her eyes.
As for me, once the dr said it was okay, it was great, quite moist and no worry about unexpected pregnancy.

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
3:05 pm

Melania, small price to pay. I can’t wait!

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
3:06 pm

cba, being pregnant only limits the positions and roughness. LOL

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

February 22nd, 2011
3:09 pm

truthfully, honestly neither does a married person but that a book of a different publisher.
Raqi I know that. That’s why in the first part of that quote I used parentheses to emphasize that a “good spouse” will accept the IOU. A bad spouse…well all bets are off.

so nothing I say will matter to you.
Raqi And this is just noooooot true. I’m a little bit hurt. :-( lol I value your opinions, this one included. It may not be applicable to me at this point in my life, but I don’t value it any less. Ok listen…when I meet the chick who blows my mind and I accept the first IOU of our relationship, I’ll give you a big blog shout out. ;-)

Leggs

February 22nd, 2011
3:10 pm

@Raqi V ~ a day or two later he came on saying he asked for a separation and moved out.

Celisea

February 22nd, 2011
3:10 pm

cba, being pregnant only limits the positions and roughness.

Yep because we didn’t skip a beat when I was preggers. We got permission from the doctor after I was so far along but he was like, have at it. So, we did it and did it…PR is right, we had to consider not so rough and me being the person to position since I knew how much I could take. Couldn’t leave that in his hands, mighta had me going into labor early. LOL Really, you can continue to enjoy one another right until the baby comes unless for medical reasons you’ve been placed on restriction.

Celisea

February 22nd, 2011
3:11 pm

Just can’t throw it back as quick and as much since you riding with along with another person…it’s 3 of ya’ll present you know. :)

Celisea

February 22nd, 2011
3:12 pm

since you’re riding along with another person…a 3rd person…is what I was saying.

Randyt (aka "tired of this coolie work, need to get on a plane somewhere)

February 22nd, 2011
3:13 pm

Off topic, I was watching the news several years ago out of the corner of my eye, when I realized I was hearing the voice of an ex-lover on TV. When I turned around, sure enough a former flame was being interviewed on TV because she worked in Chamblee next door to the ba$tard that killed and decapitated the hiker four years ago, and now given the death sentence for killing the lady in Florida. He would come over to her office when she was working alone and want to use her computer to look up things on the Internet. She started locking the door and pretending she did not hear the knocks or she could have been one of his victims.

I would have no problem right this second pushing the button that drops the needle or fires up “ole Sparky” and not bat an eye. He is a monster, not a human being.

Leggs

February 22nd, 2011
3:13 pm

@cba ~ darling, I have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard. So many men love pregnant “stuff,” but her husband didn’t want to do anything. I’m in disbelief! :shock: :cry:

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

February 22nd, 2011
3:15 pm

When she told me the story, I could still see the anger in her eyes.

cba Actually that’s a way better discussion than men not getting any. We’re used to dealing with that. Let a woman not get sex when she wants it…someone might be getting hurt. lol

Really, you can continue to enjoy one another right until the baby comes
Sure can.

Raqi V

February 22nd, 2011
3:19 pm

Leggs, I have heard that some men are turned off by pregnant sex. Maybe they think they will hurt the baby or something. Or maybe they are turned of from the bulge of the belly.

Leggs

February 22nd, 2011
3:22 pm

I’ve heard it as wel, it’s just weird when I hear of it. I’ve seen men gawk with admiration at a pregnant woman on the streets and can only imagine WTH they’re saying to themselves.

Randyt (aka "tired of this coolie work, need to get on a plane somewhere)

February 22nd, 2011
3:22 pm

For most women, their pregnancy is the prettiest they will ever look in their lives. The skin softens and gets a glow, they look happy (most of the time, partly pecause of the attention)…best my wife ever looked, (and also the neighbor across the street who worked in the same building I did ;-)

cba

February 22nd, 2011
3:25 pm

PR/Celisea, it was my friend’s husband who had an issue, not me. As I recall 26 yrs ago, we had sex on a Sunday, after lamaze class, daughter was born that following Thurs.

Raqi V

February 22nd, 2011
3:25 pm

Leggs, I kind of find it a little sickening when a man gawk at a pregnant woman that he did not get pregnant.

SlimSquareOne

February 22nd, 2011
3:26 pm

Dreams – I don’t know what it is but there definitely will be a small Whatchutomboutwillis face when we get turned down at a time we’re ready to be turned on. I don’t know which is worse, being turned down by your current supplier or having a huge desire but no ‘dealer’ to get it from.

Raqi V

February 22nd, 2011
3:27 pm

RandyT, the second trimester is usually when most women feel their best when pregnant. Or at least for me. Passed the morning sickness and hormone overload but before becoming big and uncomfortable.

Leggs

February 22nd, 2011
3:27 pm

I find it sickening too because it feels like you can actually see the wheels turning in their heads with saliva dripping from their fangs like the wolf in Little Red Riding Hood! Some are not as discreet as they think they are!

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

February 22nd, 2011
3:29 pm

“I don’t know what it is but there definitely will be a small Whatchutomboutwillis face when we get turned down at a time we’re ready to be turned on.”

Slim — I have a theory: Chics have no problem dishing out rejection, but lose their d@mn minds when they have to take it… :lol:

Raqi V

February 22nd, 2011
3:30 pm

Not to mention that’s another mans baby she is carrying. Unless she and that man are not together and she gets with someone else before the show, a man imagining or wanting to lay with a pregnant woman is defiling and disrespectful.

Randyt (aka "tired of this coolie work, need to get on a plane somewhere)

February 22nd, 2011
3:30 pm

@ Raqi define definition of “gawk” vs. “admiration”, men struggle with this.

It is not always a sexual thing, contrary to popular belief. I know for me, I have noted that a female coworker was pregnant even before she did on several occasions, not because of the morning sickness but because of the glow. Is that a bad thing?

Raqi V

February 22nd, 2011
3:30 pm

Again, a pregnant woman that he did not get pregnant.

Celisea

February 22nd, 2011
3:30 pm

cba – I got you….understood. I didn’t have morning sickness, no breat tenderness, didn’t find out I was pregnany until 11 weeks. I had a good pregnancy. I walked a mile a day until I was too big to walk. I gained 27 pounds in all. Think I would have gained more if I hadn’t exercised. But I was good the entire time. I went in 7 weeks early…hmmmm, now that I think about it…..

Randyt (aka "tired of this coolie work, need to get on a plane somewhere)

February 22nd, 2011
3:31 pm

Raqi, I agree on the second trimester although if one is observant, the signs are there usually.

cba

February 22nd, 2011
3:32 pm

The thing about it, her husband is one of those Kevin Garnett type, chest beating and all. Played linebacker in college but brotha didn’t show affection during the pregnancy, according to her.

Randyt (aka "tired of this coolie work, need to get on a plane somewhere)

February 22nd, 2011
3:32 pm

@ swiss re: “Chics have no problem dishing out rejection, but lose their d@mn minds when they have to take it…”

NO KIDDING.

Raqi V

February 22nd, 2011
3:33 pm

RandyT, I understand that. Pregnacy does add a glow to a lot of women and there is nothing wrong with any man or woman pointing that out. But I have seen very disrespectful comments on here in the past from some of the men about another man’s pregnant woman.

Leggs

February 22nd, 2011
3:33 pm

@Celisea ~ I was like you. Never sick, never had any cravings, I gained 47 lbs (because I was so skinny and needed to), and she came 5 weeks early. I loved being pregnant. I became a nicer individual. I was a little firecracker before then!

Melania

February 22nd, 2011
3:35 pm

The old folks use to say the baby will look like the one who is feeding it – meaning the man she is having sex with. Do you guys think that’s true? My cousin’s baby came out looking like the boyfriend and not the biological father…(and the boyfriend was not the biological father) makes you wanna say hummmm

Raqi V

February 22nd, 2011
3:36 pm

I didn’t have morning sickness with my second one. His birth weighed on me more emotionally and mentally than anything.

But the others, I had morning sickness for several weeks.

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

February 22nd, 2011
3:39 pm

I don’t know what it is but there definitely will be a small Whatchutomboutwillis face when we get turned down at a time we’re ready to be turned on.
Slim Small? Yeah you downplaying it. lol You subject to getting called every name in the book. Oh you gon’ give it up. haha

Celisea

February 22nd, 2011
3:39 pm

Leggs – I became a nicer individual. I was a little firecracker before then!

Girl, firecracker ain’t the word. I have soooo mellowed since then. LOL My coworkers threw me the biggest baby shower ever (catered and cooked food), because I was soooo sweet during that time. Heck it was unbelievable to them…I guess…LOL But yeah, I would have gained more had I not exercised. Plus my doctor (current gyn) was good in letting you know if you was gaining too fast.

Melania – The old folks use to say the baby will look like the one who is feeding it

I always heard it favors the one that did the most “work.” Not sure how true that is but ummm, my kid STILL looks like her dad. Every blue moon someone will say we favor but she looks like he birthed her.

Raqi V

February 22nd, 2011
3:40 pm

Melania, I think it’s a matter of association creating simulation. That’s why you find old couples that have been married for 50, 60, 70 years that look alike.

Leggs

February 22nd, 2011
3:40 pm

My child came out looking like an Eskimo and I was very concerned because I didn’t have “any relations with an Eskimo” and truly wasn’t in the mood to bicker if my husband questioned me. So glad she changed rather quickly to be his clone (LOLOLOL)!

Celisea

February 22nd, 2011
3:41 pm

The ONLY thing that would make me sick was smell of microwaved popcorn. Talk about getting sick…whew. That would get me EVERYTIME. Otherwise I was good.

cba

February 22nd, 2011
3:42 pm

Melania, people always tell my wife that she must have been very angry at me because our child doesn’t look like her one bit. In elementary school, kids would ask my daughter, is that your real mommy?? :-) I think my wife sorta got tired of it.

Raqi V

February 22nd, 2011
3:42 pm

DreamsMat and Slim, I did have to learn that when the man says no or not to night, he is not rejecting me but just saying no to sex at the time.

Yes we woman can sometimes be overly sensitive.

Raqi V

February 22nd, 2011
3:44 pm

I think that’s because woman grow up hearing all a man wants from us is sex so when he says no to it you feel like he is rejecting you. It really helps to have lived and learned.

Leggs

February 22nd, 2011
3:47 pm

LOL, when I asked my ex for sex and he said no, I happily skipped away!

Raqi V

February 22nd, 2011
3:49 pm

Leggs LMBO. Always? Even in the beginning when he was the love of your life?

Side note: I want a piece of Dove chocolate right now. Imma send the hub a text and tell if he finds himself needing to come up here anytime soon to bring me one from the freezer. That’s not a craving. I just love chocolate.

SlimSquareOne

February 22nd, 2011
3:54 pm

‘Chics have no problem dishing out rejection, but lose their d@mn minds when they have to take it…’

swiss – I admit to wrassling my way into some nookie :lol:

‘You subject to getting called every name in the book’

Dreams – chick will be like, “Oh what, you must be cheating on me then!!! Or don’t make me go there…you gone make me go there aren’t cha…You ain’t ghey iz you!?”

SlimSquareOne

February 22nd, 2011
3:56 pm

‘when I asked my ex for sex and he said no, I happily skipped away!’

Leggs – I didn’t skip away, I just said well I hope you don’t mind feeling the bed shake in approximately 5-6 minutes then bc Slim has a monkey on her back that’s just to heavy to carry into my dreams. :lol: Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Raqi V

February 22nd, 2011
3:57 pm

DreamsMat, I am still pondering over this matter. With these women that you are with, when one of them tell you No and you leave or say you are going to get it from another, do they really allow you to come back to them later to get some? Are these women accepting you back after you ditch them when they don’t want sex?

Leggs

February 22nd, 2011
4:02 pm

OMG, SlimQOne ~ I am wiping my eyes I’m laughing so hard.

First, RaqiV ~ in the beginning we didn’t have to ask each other, we just did it. That statement really was toward the ending of the marriage. He was stubborn enough to try to make a point with me that he could turn me down. So, I played along and asked when he least expected me to, but I knew he would say no at that particular when I asked.

I just said well I hope you don’t mind feeling the bed shake in approximately… I remember going through this just before he moved into the other room (w/him being the one to shake the bed).

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
4:04 pm

I know that if I say no to sex there will be no peace in our house.

Randyt (aka "tired of this coolie work, need to get on a plane somewhere)

February 22nd, 2011
4:04 pm

@ Raqi …disrespect is something else entirely. That I agree with. Actually, I never have pointed the obvious out, just noticed the signs. Would be rude.

WHILE WE ARE ON THE SUBJECT OF STUPID MALES AND PREGNANCY…it is so embarassing to ask a women when she is due, only to find out she just delivered and the stomach has not gone down yet.

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

February 22nd, 2011
4:05 pm

Raqi You still thinking ’bout that. Why you brining up old stuff? lol Honestly, whenever sex was an issue like that in past relationships, it was probably the least of the issues. So, when we parted ways, it was never simply because of the sex. I’ve actually never been in a relationship where one issue was the sole cause of the breakup. There were always a few different things in play. I would never tell any woman that I’m leaving her to go get laid somewhere else. I’m just not a disrespectful dude like that. Dang, you don’t know that about me by now. Man I thought we went back on the blog. lol

SlimSquareOne

February 22nd, 2011
4:08 pm

‘I remember going through this just before he moved into the other room (w/him being the one to shake the bed).’

Leggs – My ex did that a few times when things were a bit rocky. But I think he used to try to overexaggerate the movements just to annoy me or either to garner enough attention from me that I would somehow take over. When that didn’t work and I laid stiff as a board acting like I was in a coma-like sleep, he proceeded to going in the other room. I’ll never forget the time I got up in the middle of the night and found him having a little solo time. If I could take a picture of his face when he saw me standing there…PRICELESS! I couldn’t even go to back to sleep from laughing…had me singing in my head Ge, ge, ge, get it boy! :lol:

cba

February 22nd, 2011
4:09 pm

Randyt@ your 3:13, I’m glad that SOB was sentenced to death. Next to Texas, Florida has no problem frying your azz.
Did you hear what he said about the lady he killed in Florida ? He said he wanted some good sex but she was nasty. Where I’m from, my late grandfather would say, he need to be tarred and feathered.

Randyt (aka "tired of this coolie work, need to get on a plane somewhere)

February 22nd, 2011
4:09 pm

my wife would not dilate properly with our first and was in labor for about two days. She was in the pushing stage for hours (should last fifteen minutes maybe). Nurse took me aside and said, “I hate to break this to you, but that kid is going to have a head like an ice cream cone”. I thought she was kidding!!! Kid looked like a conehead for the first few days. Turned into a remarkable handsome man, but looked like a conehead.

Raqi V

February 22nd, 2011
4:10 pm

I have never given the hub a hard time when he said no to sex. I have and do however attempt to persuade him to want it sometimes. But for the most part I am a grown woman and I know this man is not going to always want sex when I want it. I don’t want him getting angry with me when I say no so why act a b!tch when he doesn’t want it.

SlimSquareOne

February 22nd, 2011
4:10 pm

‘Man I thought we went back on the blog. lol’

Dreams – Yall do go waaay back…back to the previous page but that’s about it. j/k

Randyt (aka "tired of this coolie work, need to get on a plane somewhere)

February 22nd, 2011
4:11 pm

Me too CBA. I’d be delighted to help send him to his next life. Crank up old Sparky, watch him dance and sizzle, then make myself a sandwich and go watch Netflix.

SlimSquareOne

February 22nd, 2011
4:12 pm

When the partner says no to sex, then it’s time to negotiate for some other favors. Write the word Earmuffilectomy down on a piece of paper and pass it across the table face down. lolol

Raqi V

February 22nd, 2011
4:12 pm

DreamsMat, I guess I totally misinterpreted what you were saying. It read as if you were saying when you are with a woman and she does not want sex or want to give you sex that’s a non-issue for you because you have other places to get it. You never worded it as if the relationship was rocky but merely you being single can get it whenever you want because when one says no you have another that is willing and able. Sorry for the misunderstanding.

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
4:13 pm

The blog is so peaceful and relaxing now.

Raqi V

February 22nd, 2011
4:13 pm

When the partner says no to sex

Not all the time. That’s just being greedy and a horndog.

Raqi V

February 22nd, 2011
4:15 pm

then it’s time to negotiate for some other favors

That’s ^ the line I meant to copy and paste. LOL

Not all the time. That’s just being greedy and a horndog.

Leggs

February 22nd, 2011
4:16 pm

I feel your entire post, SlimSOne, esp. the overexaggeration hoping to wake you up so you can help out. Hmmm, I was a lump of coal not feeling a thing!

Raqi V

February 22nd, 2011
4:23 pm

Is it too early to leave the EOD quote, Leggs?

“Jesus wept.” ~ St. John

SlimSquareOne

February 22nd, 2011
4:24 pm

Raqi – No harm in trying ;-) They do it

Leggs – Yeah it doesn’t work when they do it but oddly enough once Slim would get going, for whatever reason, he would suddenly become interested. Be like, Hole up home boy…this ride is now closed :lol:

cba

February 22nd, 2011
4:29 pm

PR, somehow I picture you sitting in the barn on a bale of hay with you lap top and your eyes slightly glazed ;-)

Leggs

February 22nd, 2011
4:29 pm

Yes, it’s too early!

Leggs

February 22nd, 2011
4:31 pm

…this ride is now closed! Boy o boy!

Raqi V

February 22nd, 2011
4:33 pm

LOL Leggs. I am going to sneak downstairs and seat on the couch so you at 5pm you repost my EOD quote. Thanks.

dreamslut

February 22nd, 2011
4:36 pm

Hi guys. My day is finally over. I’ve read all the posts and some of you don’t paint a pretty picture. I have a girlfriend of mine that has been having an affair with the same guy for the past nine years because she said her hubby was boring in bed. Then the guys are complaining that their wives almost cut them off. Boy, if someone were thinking about marraige, this ain’t the place to go looking for themes.I really don’t understand the “I don’t want it like I used to” excuse from either person. It’s fun, it’s a great stress reliever, it feels mah-velous and it’s a way to connect (whether it’s long term or not). If people, both us women and you men, would keep the same mind set and do the same things that we did when dating, what’s the problem? My job is high stress and if I don’t sell, I don’t get paid. I have a mortgage, bills, cleaning, all that stuff. But my libido is always churning. Maybe it’s the familiarity with your partner or something, I don’t know.

Celisea

February 22nd, 2011
4:41 pm

Dreamslut – It would be much nicer if you posted under your real name…I ain’t buying you’re a newbie.

dreamslut

February 22nd, 2011
4:41 pm

Raqi V, I know that there are many things that go into a relationship, but there are some things, all things being equal, that are unnegotiable. Respect, conscienciousness and yes, a satisfactory intimate life. I don’t ever want to become boring (or bored) and I expect the same thing from my partner. But it seems we lose sight of the simple pleasures that brought people together. We put them off as not important enough or not time for. Wants to lose your tight grip on a relationship? Start drifting apart and negate some of the fun and pleasure that should be part of a relationship. It’s not all toil, toil and sweat.

dreamslut

February 22nd, 2011
4:42 pm

I’m off to go do aerobics. Have a great evening!

Celisea

February 22nd, 2011
4:43 pm

I have a girlfriend of mine that has been having an affair with the same guy for the past nine years because she said her hubby was boring in bed.

….and you get a side eye look for this one. Not accusing you of anything but birds of a feather…well you know the saying. You’re hanging with a chick that’s cheating for 9 years??!!

Leggs

February 22nd, 2011
4:43 pm

@dreamslut ~ unless you’ve been lurking, you wouldn’t understand the crew here. This is definitely your Atypical bunch of people.

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
4:48 pm

cba

February 22nd, 2011
4:48 pm

I’m with you Celisea on DS. Since Simpleman works in the legalized drug business, maybe he knows her lol

Leggs

February 22nd, 2011
4:49 pm

Ok, going to my exercise class! Good night everyone!

“Jesus wept.” ~ St. John

Enjoy your evening and

don’t say no baby, not tonight!
I need to have you near me in more ways than one….Major Harris (Love Won’t Let me Wait) (I think)!

:smile:

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
4:50 pm

Celisea, none of my friends would tolerate me cheating on my wife..ever. If they did that’s really not a friend

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
4:52 pm

I still can’t wrap my mind around a woman referring to herself as a slut.

cba

February 22nd, 2011
4:54 pm

remebered that song well, Leggs LOL

SlimSquareOne

February 22nd, 2011
4:55 pm

‘I still can’t wrap my mind around a woman referring to herself as a slut’

Purp – I see you walking out of blogsville shaking your head…lol Just. Don’t. Get. It

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
4:57 pm

Slim, lol this will come up in conversation at dinner tonight. LOL

SlimSquareOne

February 22nd, 2011
5:03 pm

Well, as long as you’re not calling her one i’m sure the food will stay on the plate and not on the wall. lol

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
5:05 pm

Slim, never ever

SlimSquareOne

February 22nd, 2011
5:07 pm

Alrighty then…holla at yall after lunch tomorrow. Peach out

Celisea

February 22nd, 2011
5:31 pm

cba – I’m with you Celisea on DS. Since Simpleman works in the legalized drug business, maybe he knows her lol

Yep, something ain’t right…lol

PR – Celisea, none of my friends would tolerate me cheating on my wife..ever. If they did that’s really not a friend

The company you keep speaks volumes about you…especially if you refer to yourself as a slut

Celisea

February 22nd, 2011
5:32 pm

Did I come back too late? Everybody is gone? See what happens when you get busy working.

Celisea

February 22nd, 2011
5:34 pm

and I just knew For Real would come out on the earmufflectomy statement

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
5:40 pm

Hello is it 2038?

Celisea

February 22nd, 2011
6:03 pm

Yeah babe….not quite…around the corner