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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Chasing the instant connection

Have you ever met someone and felt an instant connection with them? It feels like it’s deeper than mere physical attraction and yet it’s not “love at first sight” either.  It’s kind of like you connect somewhere in the middle.  It’s a pretty amazing feeling and it always seems to happen when you least expect it. Not sure, why that is, but this has been my experience.

The thing is, once you’ve had that really great, totally bananas connection with one person, you can feel as if you embark on this pursuit of the same instant connection with other people.  I think it’s probably the reason why there are so many missed connections because we keep comparing everyone to that one great connection.

Do you think it is a good idea to keep chasing that instant connection?  I’ve only felt it twice but I wonder if I will feel it again.

What do you think it means when you don’t feel instantly drawn to a person but over time it gets stronger? Isn’t that the way most relationships actually begin?  Do you believe that the instant connection means you have a better chance of getting to a relationship?

When was the last time you met someone and felt an instant connection with them? What do you think it was about them that made your introduction stand out?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

282 comments Add your comment

Celisea

February 22nd, 2011
3:11 pm

Just can’t throw it back as quick and as much since you riding with along with another person…it’s 3 of ya’ll present you know. :)

Celisea

February 22nd, 2011
3:12 pm

since you’re riding along with another person…a 3rd person…is what I was saying.

Randyt (aka "tired of this coolie work, need to get on a plane somewhere)

February 22nd, 2011
3:13 pm

Off topic, I was watching the news several years ago out of the corner of my eye, when I realized I was hearing the voice of an ex-lover on TV. When I turned around, sure enough a former flame was being interviewed on TV because she worked in Chamblee next door to the ba$tard that killed and decapitated the hiker four years ago, and now given the death sentence for killing the lady in Florida. He would come over to her office when she was working alone and want to use her computer to look up things on the Internet. She started locking the door and pretending she did not hear the knocks or she could have been one of his victims.

I would have no problem right this second pushing the button that drops the needle or fires up “ole Sparky” and not bat an eye. He is a monster, not a human being.

Leggs

February 22nd, 2011
3:13 pm

@cba ~ darling, I have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard. So many men love pregnant “stuff,” but her husband didn’t want to do anything. I’m in disbelief! :shock: :cry:

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

February 22nd, 2011
3:15 pm

When she told me the story, I could still see the anger in her eyes.

cba Actually that’s a way better discussion than men not getting any. We’re used to dealing with that. Let a woman not get sex when she wants it…someone might be getting hurt. lol

Really, you can continue to enjoy one another right until the baby comes
Sure can.

Raqi V

February 22nd, 2011
3:19 pm

Leggs, I have heard that some men are turned off by pregnant sex. Maybe they think they will hurt the baby or something. Or maybe they are turned of from the bulge of the belly.

Leggs

February 22nd, 2011
3:22 pm

I’ve heard it as wel, it’s just weird when I hear of it. I’ve seen men gawk with admiration at a pregnant woman on the streets and can only imagine WTH they’re saying to themselves.

Randyt (aka "tired of this coolie work, need to get on a plane somewhere)

February 22nd, 2011
3:22 pm

For most women, their pregnancy is the prettiest they will ever look in their lives. The skin softens and gets a glow, they look happy (most of the time, partly pecause of the attention)…best my wife ever looked, (and also the neighbor across the street who worked in the same building I did ;-)

cba

February 22nd, 2011
3:25 pm

PR/Celisea, it was my friend’s husband who had an issue, not me. As I recall 26 yrs ago, we had sex on a Sunday, after lamaze class, daughter was born that following Thurs.

Raqi V

February 22nd, 2011
3:25 pm

Leggs, I kind of find it a little sickening when a man gawk at a pregnant woman that he did not get pregnant.

SlimSquareOne

February 22nd, 2011
3:26 pm

Dreams – I don’t know what it is but there definitely will be a small Whatchutomboutwillis face when we get turned down at a time we’re ready to be turned on. I don’t know which is worse, being turned down by your current supplier or having a huge desire but no ‘dealer’ to get it from.

Raqi V

February 22nd, 2011
3:27 pm

RandyT, the second trimester is usually when most women feel their best when pregnant. Or at least for me. Passed the morning sickness and hormone overload but before becoming big and uncomfortable.

Leggs

February 22nd, 2011
3:27 pm

I find it sickening too because it feels like you can actually see the wheels turning in their heads with saliva dripping from their fangs like the wolf in Little Red Riding Hood! Some are not as discreet as they think they are!

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

February 22nd, 2011
3:29 pm

“I don’t know what it is but there definitely will be a small Whatchutomboutwillis face when we get turned down at a time we’re ready to be turned on.”

Slim — I have a theory: Chics have no problem dishing out rejection, but lose their d@mn minds when they have to take it… :lol:

Raqi V

February 22nd, 2011
3:30 pm

Not to mention that’s another mans baby she is carrying. Unless she and that man are not together and she gets with someone else before the show, a man imagining or wanting to lay with a pregnant woman is defiling and disrespectful.

Randyt (aka "tired of this coolie work, need to get on a plane somewhere)

February 22nd, 2011
3:30 pm

@ Raqi define definition of “gawk” vs. “admiration”, men struggle with this.

It is not always a sexual thing, contrary to popular belief. I know for me, I have noted that a female coworker was pregnant even before she did on several occasions, not because of the morning sickness but because of the glow. Is that a bad thing?

Raqi V

February 22nd, 2011
3:30 pm

Again, a pregnant woman that he did not get pregnant.

Celisea

February 22nd, 2011
3:30 pm

cba – I got you….understood. I didn’t have morning sickness, no breat tenderness, didn’t find out I was pregnany until 11 weeks. I had a good pregnancy. I walked a mile a day until I was too big to walk. I gained 27 pounds in all. Think I would have gained more if I hadn’t exercised. But I was good the entire time. I went in 7 weeks early…hmmmm, now that I think about it…..

Randyt (aka "tired of this coolie work, need to get on a plane somewhere)

February 22nd, 2011
3:31 pm

Raqi, I agree on the second trimester although if one is observant, the signs are there usually.

cba

February 22nd, 2011
3:32 pm

The thing about it, her husband is one of those Kevin Garnett type, chest beating and all. Played linebacker in college but brotha didn’t show affection during the pregnancy, according to her.

Randyt (aka "tired of this coolie work, need to get on a plane somewhere)

February 22nd, 2011
3:32 pm

@ swiss re: “Chics have no problem dishing out rejection, but lose their d@mn minds when they have to take it…”

NO KIDDING.

Raqi V

February 22nd, 2011
3:33 pm

RandyT, I understand that. Pregnacy does add a glow to a lot of women and there is nothing wrong with any man or woman pointing that out. But I have seen very disrespectful comments on here in the past from some of the men about another man’s pregnant woman.

Leggs

February 22nd, 2011
3:33 pm

@Celisea ~ I was like you. Never sick, never had any cravings, I gained 47 lbs (because I was so skinny and needed to), and she came 5 weeks early. I loved being pregnant. I became a nicer individual. I was a little firecracker before then!

Melania

February 22nd, 2011
3:35 pm

The old folks use to say the baby will look like the one who is feeding it – meaning the man she is having sex with. Do you guys think that’s true? My cousin’s baby came out looking like the boyfriend and not the biological father…(and the boyfriend was not the biological father) makes you wanna say hummmm

Raqi V

February 22nd, 2011
3:36 pm

I didn’t have morning sickness with my second one. His birth weighed on me more emotionally and mentally than anything.

But the others, I had morning sickness for several weeks.

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

February 22nd, 2011
3:39 pm

I don’t know what it is but there definitely will be a small Whatchutomboutwillis face when we get turned down at a time we’re ready to be turned on.
Slim Small? Yeah you downplaying it. lol You subject to getting called every name in the book. Oh you gon’ give it up. haha

Celisea

February 22nd, 2011
3:39 pm

Leggs – I became a nicer individual. I was a little firecracker before then!

Girl, firecracker ain’t the word. I have soooo mellowed since then. LOL My coworkers threw me the biggest baby shower ever (catered and cooked food), because I was soooo sweet during that time. Heck it was unbelievable to them…I guess…LOL But yeah, I would have gained more had I not exercised. Plus my doctor (current gyn) was good in letting you know if you was gaining too fast.

Melania – The old folks use to say the baby will look like the one who is feeding it

I always heard it favors the one that did the most “work.” Not sure how true that is but ummm, my kid STILL looks like her dad. Every blue moon someone will say we favor but she looks like he birthed her.

Raqi V

February 22nd, 2011
3:40 pm

Melania, I think it’s a matter of association creating simulation. That’s why you find old couples that have been married for 50, 60, 70 years that look alike.

Leggs

February 22nd, 2011
3:40 pm

My child came out looking like an Eskimo and I was very concerned because I didn’t have “any relations with an Eskimo” and truly wasn’t in the mood to bicker if my husband questioned me. So glad she changed rather quickly to be his clone (LOLOLOL)!

Celisea

February 22nd, 2011
3:41 pm

The ONLY thing that would make me sick was smell of microwaved popcorn. Talk about getting sick…whew. That would get me EVERYTIME. Otherwise I was good.

cba

February 22nd, 2011
3:42 pm

Melania, people always tell my wife that she must have been very angry at me because our child doesn’t look like her one bit. In elementary school, kids would ask my daughter, is that your real mommy?? :-) I think my wife sorta got tired of it.

Raqi V

February 22nd, 2011
3:42 pm

DreamsMat and Slim, I did have to learn that when the man says no or not to night, he is not rejecting me but just saying no to sex at the time.

Yes we woman can sometimes be overly sensitive.

Raqi V

February 22nd, 2011
3:44 pm

I think that’s because woman grow up hearing all a man wants from us is sex so when he says no to it you feel like he is rejecting you. It really helps to have lived and learned.

Leggs

February 22nd, 2011
3:47 pm

LOL, when I asked my ex for sex and he said no, I happily skipped away!

Raqi V

February 22nd, 2011
3:49 pm

Leggs LMBO. Always? Even in the beginning when he was the love of your life?

Side note: I want a piece of Dove chocolate right now. Imma send the hub a text and tell if he finds himself needing to come up here anytime soon to bring me one from the freezer. That’s not a craving. I just love chocolate.

SlimSquareOne

February 22nd, 2011
3:54 pm

‘Chics have no problem dishing out rejection, but lose their d@mn minds when they have to take it…’

swiss – I admit to wrassling my way into some nookie :lol:

‘You subject to getting called every name in the book’

Dreams – chick will be like, “Oh what, you must be cheating on me then!!! Or don’t make me go there…you gone make me go there aren’t cha…You ain’t ghey iz you!?”

SlimSquareOne

February 22nd, 2011
3:56 pm

‘when I asked my ex for sex and he said no, I happily skipped away!’

Leggs – I didn’t skip away, I just said well I hope you don’t mind feeling the bed shake in approximately 5-6 minutes then bc Slim has a monkey on her back that’s just to heavy to carry into my dreams. :lol: Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Raqi V

February 22nd, 2011
3:57 pm

DreamsMat, I am still pondering over this matter. With these women that you are with, when one of them tell you No and you leave or say you are going to get it from another, do they really allow you to come back to them later to get some? Are these women accepting you back after you ditch them when they don’t want sex?

Leggs

February 22nd, 2011
4:02 pm

OMG, SlimQOne ~ I am wiping my eyes I’m laughing so hard.

First, RaqiV ~ in the beginning we didn’t have to ask each other, we just did it. That statement really was toward the ending of the marriage. He was stubborn enough to try to make a point with me that he could turn me down. So, I played along and asked when he least expected me to, but I knew he would say no at that particular when I asked.

I just said well I hope you don’t mind feeling the bed shake in approximately… I remember going through this just before he moved into the other room (w/him being the one to shake the bed).

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
4:04 pm

I know that if I say no to sex there will be no peace in our house.

Randyt (aka "tired of this coolie work, need to get on a plane somewhere)

February 22nd, 2011
4:04 pm

@ Raqi …disrespect is something else entirely. That I agree with. Actually, I never have pointed the obvious out, just noticed the signs. Would be rude.

WHILE WE ARE ON THE SUBJECT OF STUPID MALES AND PREGNANCY…it is so embarassing to ask a women when she is due, only to find out she just delivered and the stomach has not gone down yet.

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

February 22nd, 2011
4:05 pm

Raqi You still thinking ’bout that. Why you brining up old stuff? lol Honestly, whenever sex was an issue like that in past relationships, it was probably the least of the issues. So, when we parted ways, it was never simply because of the sex. I’ve actually never been in a relationship where one issue was the sole cause of the breakup. There were always a few different things in play. I would never tell any woman that I’m leaving her to go get laid somewhere else. I’m just not a disrespectful dude like that. Dang, you don’t know that about me by now. Man I thought we went back on the blog. lol

SlimSquareOne

February 22nd, 2011
4:08 pm

‘I remember going through this just before he moved into the other room (w/him being the one to shake the bed).’

Leggs – My ex did that a few times when things were a bit rocky. But I think he used to try to overexaggerate the movements just to annoy me or either to garner enough attention from me that I would somehow take over. When that didn’t work and I laid stiff as a board acting like I was in a coma-like sleep, he proceeded to going in the other room. I’ll never forget the time I got up in the middle of the night and found him having a little solo time. If I could take a picture of his face when he saw me standing there…PRICELESS! I couldn’t even go to back to sleep from laughing…had me singing in my head Ge, ge, ge, get it boy! :lol:

cba

February 22nd, 2011
4:09 pm

Randyt@ your 3:13, I’m glad that SOB was sentenced to death. Next to Texas, Florida has no problem frying your azz.
Did you hear what he said about the lady he killed in Florida ? He said he wanted some good sex but she was nasty. Where I’m from, my late grandfather would say, he need to be tarred and feathered.

Randyt (aka "tired of this coolie work, need to get on a plane somewhere)

February 22nd, 2011
4:09 pm

my wife would not dilate properly with our first and was in labor for about two days. She was in the pushing stage for hours (should last fifteen minutes maybe). Nurse took me aside and said, “I hate to break this to you, but that kid is going to have a head like an ice cream cone”. I thought she was kidding!!! Kid looked like a conehead for the first few days. Turned into a remarkable handsome man, but looked like a conehead.

Raqi V

February 22nd, 2011
4:10 pm

I have never given the hub a hard time when he said no to sex. I have and do however attempt to persuade him to want it sometimes. But for the most part I am a grown woman and I know this man is not going to always want sex when I want it. I don’t want him getting angry with me when I say no so why act a b!tch when he doesn’t want it.

SlimSquareOne

February 22nd, 2011
4:10 pm

‘Man I thought we went back on the blog. lol’

Dreams – Yall do go waaay back…back to the previous page but that’s about it. j/k

Randyt (aka "tired of this coolie work, need to get on a plane somewhere)

February 22nd, 2011
4:11 pm

Me too CBA. I’d be delighted to help send him to his next life. Crank up old Sparky, watch him dance and sizzle, then make myself a sandwich and go watch Netflix.

SlimSquareOne

February 22nd, 2011
4:12 pm

When the partner says no to sex, then it’s time to negotiate for some other favors. Write the word Earmuffilectomy down on a piece of paper and pass it across the table face down. lolol

Raqi V

February 22nd, 2011
4:12 pm

DreamsMat, I guess I totally misinterpreted what you were saying. It read as if you were saying when you are with a woman and she does not want sex or want to give you sex that’s a non-issue for you because you have other places to get it. You never worded it as if the relationship was rocky but merely you being single can get it whenever you want because when one says no you have another that is willing and able. Sorry for the misunderstanding.