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Chasing the instant connection

Have you ever met someone and felt an instant connection with them? It feels like it’s deeper than mere physical attraction and yet it’s not “love at first sight” either.  It’s kind of like you connect somewhere in the middle.  It’s a pretty amazing feeling and it always seems to happen when you least expect it. Not sure, why that is, but this has been my experience.

The thing is, once you’ve had that really great, totally bananas connection with one person, you can feel as if you embark on this pursuit of the same instant connection with other people.  I think it’s probably the reason why there are so many missed connections because we keep comparing everyone to that one great connection.

Do you think it is a good idea to keep chasing that instant connection?  I’ve only felt it twice but I wonder if I will feel it again.

What do you think it means when you don’t feel instantly drawn to a person but over time it gets stronger? Isn’t that the way most relationships actually begin?  Do you believe that the instant connection means you have a better chance of getting to a relationship?

When was the last time you met someone and felt an instant connection with them? What do you think it was about them that made your introduction stand out?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

282 comments Add your comment

Da_Man!

February 22nd, 2011
12:00 pm

sounds like “dreamslut” may be your alter ego.
So what is everyone else’s alter ego?

I could live with MobyDick …

Willie Dynamite

February 22nd, 2011
12:08 pm

Afternoon All,

I see M..E..L..O has been replaced with a Slut. he would be so proud .

On Topic – As with almost everything else, if you are chasing the instant connection then the chase becomes the connection. Like someone earlier said it just begins an endless spiral. It becomes the expectation and when that falls short whether the person is a good thing for you or not then it falls by the wayside. Not saying its right or wrong. Just is, and that happens to be alot of peoples comfort zone.

AmazonRed™ - back from vacay!

February 22nd, 2011
12:08 pm

So what is everyone else’s alter ego?

I am… Sasha Fierce!

BlackMagicWoman

February 22nd, 2011
12:10 pm

DREAMS…you know I have way too many Alter Egos that come out when they want to! :lol: But Let’s see:

Lola
Ava
Closet Geek
Black Mamba

Need I name more? :lol:

DMV

February 22nd, 2011
12:16 pm

I saw a few ladies this weekend at Tattletails that I would call Power Girl……*jeese

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
12:17 pm

My Altar Ego is Tone Loc..and I like to do tha willllllllllllld thang!

DMV

February 22nd, 2011
12:23 pm

Purple, my brother got lucky. He got married 4 years ago and he said that he’s descended into hell. His wife still wants to do dat thang most every day whether he wants to or not. What’s that old saying “The thing about marrying a nympho is that the first three weeks you think you’ve died and gone to heaven. After that, you think you’ve died and gone to hell.” I’m just sayin….

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
12:25 pm

DMV, I don’t need it all of the time but she makes me feel bad like it’s a chore for her when I do. We’ve gone from 6 or 7 times a week to 2 and before where I did 70% of the work I now do 98%. Bummer! LOL

Leggs

February 22nd, 2011
12:27 pm

I am cracking up at MobyDick.

@ARed ~ I was given Sasha Fierce a few years ago by an admirer. Too funny.

I just came up with one for myself that my dancer teacher told me I do very well….let me mull over this a little more.

DMV

February 22nd, 2011
12:32 pm

Purple, she hasn’t lost one step from their dating days. He said that they just can’t sit down and watch TV without her getting all doggy on him. I figure he’s a LOT better looking to her than what I see or she’s been taking testosterone injections. He’s worried that if he goes into a “Gimme some rest” routine, she might get upset. He’s taking freaking VITAMINS because of her. He’s hilarious!

And I’m jealous….

DMV

February 22nd, 2011
12:33 pm

I would give my right leg for 2 times a week, Purple. Dang……

AmazonRed™ - back from vacay!

February 22nd, 2011
12:34 pm

she makes me feel bad like it’s a chore for her when I do. We’ve gone from 6 or 7 times a week to 2 and before where I did 70% of the work I now do 98%. Bummer! LOL

Strap a bowling ball to your stomach and see how much you enjoy sex after that. :lol:

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
12:35 pm

DMV, I guess I should not complain then lol

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
12:35 pm

Amazon, Deal!

AmazonRed™ - back from vacay!

February 22nd, 2011
12:36 pm

DMV – A friend of mine still wants it all the time too. Her husband gets sidetracked by worries like bills and chores and doesn’t mind missing a few nights. But he loves to play golf, so she has made a deal with him…every time he golfs, she gets some. He’s going away on a golf trip during their anniversary this year, so he’s gonna have some heavy sex payments when he gets back! :lol:

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
12:39 pm

She had the higher sex drive before and now it’s me. Darn, the baby is a hater.

Melania

February 22nd, 2011
12:40 pm

I had to break up with my boyfriend (now fiance)several times before I realized he was the one. My love at first sight crush was just that…a crush. I was so torn between them until I realized that the one who had my heart was the one that I knew loved me – for me, flaws and all. A man who knows a woman has the capacity for greatness will nuture that. So ladies..If he is psychotic and always on the fence, do yourself a favor and walk away.

DMV

February 22nd, 2011
12:41 pm

Ain’t it the truth, Amazon! It’s either one extreme or the other. Either it’s twice a day and hanging from the ceiling or they act like it’s a trip to the dentist. Wonder what happens to us, ya know? One of my wife’s friends said that while she was preggie, all she thought about was sex. I guess it’s different for each cat.

AmazonRed™ - back from vacay!

February 22nd, 2011
12:43 pm

Darn, the baby is a hater.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

AmazonRed™ - back from vacay!

February 22nd, 2011
12:46 pm

Ain’t it the truth, Amazon! It’s either one extreme or the other.

Actually, I think they’re are couples that find the right balance, but they don’t tell anyone. :lol:

Raqi V

February 22nd, 2011
12:50 pm

Good Afternoon.

I have a couple of experiences where I thought I had an instant connection but it fizzled out no sooner than they were out of my sight.

I had an instant connection with my son’s father but that taught me to take the time to better get to know someone rather than going with that instant grab.

Some of the better dates I have had were taking time to get to know the man. I can’t help but speak up my husband and the year long built up of a connection that we developed. For those that cook they know what I mean when I say sometimes those dishes that simmer and steep for hours is the best. The herb and spices have time to fuse and marry making the dish to die for. I am pleased and thankful for where he and I are at this point in our lives. But I do know that just because it is working out good for us does not mean it would have happened the same had it been a different guy.

Melania

February 22nd, 2011
12:51 pm

@DMV…if she is complaing about those extra pounds, tell her The power of love (SEX) to change bodies is legendary,common sense, and should be an everyday experience. Love moves the flesh, it pushes matter around…. Throughout history, “tender loving care” has uniformly been recognized as a valuable element in healing….So do it until your satisfied! :)

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
12:55 pm

Stop eating so much and just being a couch potato, that will help you lose the pounds. LOL, ever seen people complain about their weight and buy dvd’s, gym memberships and NEVER work out at all.

Simple Man!!!!

February 22nd, 2011
12:59 pm

” so he’s gonna have some heavy sex payments when he gets back!”

Why the hell can’t I ever have a problem like that???

Leggs

February 22nd, 2011
1:05 pm

Probably because you’re not married, SimpleMan! Husbands and wives exchange I.O.U’s all the time (lol).

Raqi V

February 22nd, 2011
1:43 pm

Husbands and wives exchange I.O.U’s all the time (lol).

Yep.

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

February 22nd, 2011
1:57 pm

Husbands and wives exchange I.O.U’s all the time
Heck naw, pay me up front, or at least set up a payment plan. lol

DMV

February 22nd, 2011
2:04 pm

@DreamsMaterialize, I’m with ya, bub. How about lets do a rental agreement with payment due weekly. I’ll rent you for an hour or two each week and you can rent me. I’ll even wear a different wig and speak with a different accent each week if it helps. LMAO

SlimSquareOne

February 22nd, 2011
2:05 pm

So since married folk use I.O.U’s, does that mean single folk are on an AOD basis? (Ass on delivery)

Raqi V

February 22nd, 2011
2:06 pm

LOL DreamsMat.

An IOU simply means I am aware and I understand your present need and you know I am more than willing to join you in taking care of it however XYZ does not permit me to do so at this moment but tomorrow I promise I will make a lite dinner, get the kids to bed early and then it’s you and me on until the break of dawn.

Raqi V

February 22nd, 2011
2:07 pm

LOL No Slim. We do have SOD (sex ondemand) but sometimes you have to wait a night before pressing the button.

BlackMagicWoman

February 22nd, 2011
2:11 pm

” I’ll even wear a different wig and speak with a different accent each week if it helps”

DMV…you rang? :lol: That is me all day!

DMV

February 22nd, 2011
2:12 pm

Raqi V, how about the good ‘ol days when we WANTED to do that instead of “I’m aware of your need, so I guess we’ll do it.” That just takes ALL the steam out of the sails. Whatever happened to “I can’t wait until we get home, pull over here.” or “grabbing me/you by the collar and one of us say “I’m gonna make you limp for a week!”….you know….THAT kind? Now it’s like a financial agreement, go over the terms and if the proposal is approved by both parties, we decide to get naked. It’s mechanical. I’ts like a chore. It’s like a high school term paper. You know you gotta do it, so you may as well go ahead and do it. Remember what it was like before then? OK….I’m done venting….pant, pant.

Leggs

February 22nd, 2011
2:14 pm

A payment plan is a form of an I.O.U (now matter how you slice it). :wink:

Leggs

February 22nd, 2011
2:15 pm

Exactly, Raqi V @ 2:06.

cba

February 22nd, 2011
2:15 pm

It’s after 2:00pm, my rant for today. Of all the freaking people on this planet, lard-azz Rush Limbaugh has the audacity to call out the first lady about her physique. Said she doesn’t have the type of body that Alex Rodriquez (sp) would like and she couldn’t be on the cover of SI.
All this to criticize the woman for trying to get kids to exercise and make better food choices.
Then you have Sarah Palin and Michele Bachman tossing stones from the peanut gallery.

Raqi V

February 22nd, 2011
2:16 pm

I’m aware of your need, so I guess we’ll do it

DMV that happens also. It’s better than your wife/husband saying they couldn’t careless about your need.

Leggs

February 22nd, 2011
2:19 pm

@cba ~ as long as Victoria Bechham doesn’t get into this, we can ignore the other two females. Somethings you just let roll down your back. The First Lady is laughing heartedly at both of them.

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
2:21 pm

An I.O.U. is better than a spouse saying I have options. LOL

Leggs

February 22nd, 2011
2:23 pm

Yep, PR. She still cares for you and your feelings. The “option” chick could give a rat’s a$$ what you care or feel about!

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
2:23 pm

The First Lady is in great shape, look at those arms and legs when she wears workout clothes and her posture when she stands and moves speaks volumes about her workout regime. Rush Limbaugh is a walking heart attack.

DMV

February 22nd, 2011
2:24 pm

Well, I guess it’s better…but not by much. It’s like giving a starving person a piece of bread and say “OK, here….I’ve fed you. Now go somewhere and play.”

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

February 22nd, 2011
2:24 pm

but tomorrow I promise I will make a lite dinner, get the kids to bed early and then it’s you and me on until the break of dawn.
Raqi That sounds like a Wimpy line “I’ll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.” lol I know that’s how married folks have to do…glad I’m single…for now. lol

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
2:25 pm

The drastic change is what caught me off guard, my vixen will be back one day. LOL

Leggs

February 22nd, 2011
2:26 pm

Awwww, Popeye’s sidekick.

Leggs

February 22nd, 2011
2:27 pm

LOL at you PR. That’s an area where men truly do not understand. You call it a “drastic” change, and this woman is carrying another human being inside of her…it was not drastic!

Raqi V

February 22nd, 2011
2:28 pm

Leggs, and I an IOU is much better than “good grief”. At least making a promise for a later or different time or date says you so at least have the desire to relate with your mate.

There are some partners out there getting the cold shoulder and emphatic NO’s.

DMV

February 22nd, 2011
2:28 pm

@DreamsMaterialize…it’s usually “OK, I’ve got a few minutes to between Gray’s Anatomy and Private Practice. Just be sure you make the bed afterwards.” Single and sexing was SO much better than the married version…IMO

Raqi V

February 22nd, 2011
2:29 pm

glad I’m single…for now.

DreamsMat, so when you are dating or in a relationship with a woman she is always willing and able to go? Where they do that at?

Raqi V

February 22nd, 2011
2:30 pm

Single and sexing was SO much better than the married version

DMV, the same question I asked DreamsMat you answer.