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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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Chasing the instant connection

Have you ever met someone and felt an instant connection with them? It feels like it’s deeper than mere physical attraction and yet it’s not “love at first sight” either.  It’s kind of like you connect somewhere in the middle.  It’s a pretty amazing feeling and it always seems to happen when you least expect it. Not sure, why that is, but this has been my experience.

The thing is, once you’ve had that really great, totally bananas connection with one person, you can feel as if you embark on this pursuit of the same instant connection with other people.  I think it’s probably the reason why there are so many missed connections because we keep comparing everyone to that one great connection.

Do you think it is a good idea to keep chasing that instant connection?  I’ve only felt it twice but I wonder if I will feel it again.

What do you think it means when you don’t feel instantly drawn to a person but over time it gets stronger? Isn’t that the way most relationships actually begin?  Do you believe that the instant connection means you have a better chance of getting to a relationship?

When was the last time you met someone and felt an instant connection with them? What do you think it was about them that made your introduction stand out?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

282 comments Add your comment

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

February 22nd, 2011
10:45 am

“did y’all catcht he news item about how males are something like eight times more likely to develop mouth and throat cancer by having had performed oral $ex on six or more partners than by chewing tobacco? “

Randy — GOT DAMMIT! Well, it’s official: everything good gives you cancer. Et tu, pusse?

AmazonRed™ - back from vacay!

February 22nd, 2011
10:46 am

Its was like in that moment, he changed!! We were friends since college, and I never saw him serious before that day..In that moment, He became the most committed, devoted guy in the world.

Gosh, you have to love and HATE stories like this. Love it because you know this stuff can really happen. You hate it though, cuz you never know if it will ever happen to you. :lol:

I feel this way watching “Hitch.” :lol:

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
10:49 am

So the key to a male not getting throat cancer is to not pass 5 oral sex partners. LOL, make her earn her position. Good thing that does not pertain to women. So is it just six partners not how many times you do it with the initial 5? You are screwed if you were ever at a wild orgy.

Celisea

February 22nd, 2011
10:51 am

Ugh I got censored…breats and backside

dreamslut

February 22nd, 2011
10:51 am

PR, it’s really nothing to do directly with me in real life. I’ve been called a tease before, because of how social I am and I like to wear hot clothes and business suits. I do take care of myself, work out regularly and, while I don’t have the body of a porn star, I do get complements. I use that name because it simply garners attention on this blog. I work for a medical supply company, so I have to let loose on what I dream that I could act like, but don’t think it would be such a good idea in the real world. I guess I’m kind of like a man in my brain, but I don’t have the guts to act on it as much as I think about it. How’s that?

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

February 22nd, 2011
10:51 am

Purple / Randy — I don’t know why I even bothered spitting out my chaw before going downtown now… :lol:

Celisea

February 22nd, 2011
10:52 am

I can’t even say azz now?

Celisea

February 22nd, 2011
10:54 am

Ahhh so it wasn’t ass it was ass and t&ts that got my posts banned. Okay nevermind on that.

SexyC – My heart goes out as well. Life now for some on worth a couple of nickels and some stuff that can be stolen from a boat. Why not let them go, it ain’t like you’re law abiding and gonna face jail time. You over there doing whatever the heck feels good to you…Somalis that is.

Simple Man!!!!

February 22nd, 2011
10:56 am

dreamslut

February 22nd, 2011
10:51 am

Solid and fair explaination….. At this point..my mind will not go into the gutter whenever I see your post!!! :)

SexyCool

February 22nd, 2011
10:59 am

Swizzbeats – you’re a nutcase.

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
10:59 am

Dreamslut, thank you. I was with you until you got to the think like a man part. LOL

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
11:00 am

But if you advertise as a slut don not get mad when or if someone her treats you as such. LOL

AmazonRed™ - back from vacay!

February 22nd, 2011
11:01 am

And have you ever met someone and felt that connection so you’re a little excited. But then part of you won’t allow yourself to get too excited because all your other relationships you were excited about have crashed and burned too?

Randyt (aka "tired of this coolie work, need to get on a plane somewhere)

February 22nd, 2011
11:02 am

@ Y’all…the item was talking about male going down on multiple females. Made me think and do some major counting. If six makes you eight times more, does twelve make you sixteen times more…? Guess i thought that since I am a non-tobacco used that I was not a candidate…now I wonder.

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
11:03 am

Swiss/Randy- I do not believe those statistics, it was probably made up by a woman with a cheating husband. I am cancer free!

Amazon, we here that story daily on the blog. Women meeting a cool guy but ghosts of guys past rear their head and then the woman finds faults with the new guy or wont even allow her to really get to know the new guy

Randyt (aka "tired of this coolie work, need to get on a plane somewhere)

February 22nd, 2011
11:04 am

LOL @ Swiss. Gut feeling is I may be doomed…et tu?

dreamslut

February 22nd, 2011
11:04 am

@Simple. No problem. Actually, I hang out with guys most of my day in my job. I’m used to all the gutter talk. They don’t exactly hold back, you know. I just play along and add my own off color comments. They know I’m about 70% talk….especially at work.

SexyCool

February 22nd, 2011
11:05 am

ARed – it’s that whole “once burned, twice shy” lesson most tend to learn rather quickly.

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
11:05 am

I read something that said if a woman performs oral sex on a man at least 4 to 5 times a weak it will help her keep weight off, have a firm butt and perkier breast.

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
11:06 am

It may even get you a raise.

Randyt (aka "tired of this coolie work, need to get on a plane somewhere)

February 22nd, 2011
11:06 am

@ AR re: “But then part of you won’t allow yourself to get too excited because all your other relationships you were excited about have crashed and burned too?”

Almost every time. Probably causes the outcome in advance.

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
11:07 am

There is just something odd to me about a woman who will call herself a slut whether she is one or not.

dreamslut

February 22nd, 2011
11:08 am

PR, no one knows me on here, so I can say pretty much what is on my mind and have fun with it. I don’t sleep around, even though parts of me wish that I did…lol. I just let it roll off my back and go on. My friends and co-workers know how I am and the way I talk isn’t exactly the way I act, hence I get called a tease at times with wink and a nod. It’s all good. But the evil part of me in my mind would make a sailor blush..ha ha

AmazonRed™ - back from vacay!

February 22nd, 2011
11:08 am

Amazon, we here that story daily on the blog. Women meeting a cool guy but ghosts of guys past rear their head and then the woman finds faults with the new guy or wont even allow her to really get to know the new guy

PR – That’s more like self sabatoge and we do see that daily.

I’m talking more about holding back about “falling” for someone when all you really have to go on is feelings. Like, maybe you could be that person who gets married after 4 months, but you don’t think it’s really realistic, so you just stay cautious….

Randyt (aka "tired of this coolie work, need to get on a plane somewhere)

February 22nd, 2011
11:08 am

@ PR re: “I read something that said if a woman performs oral sex on a man at least 4 to 5 times a weak it will help her keep weight off, have a firm butt and perkier breast”.

…in time all becomes clear. So this is why my ex-wife grew a big butt, floopy boobies, and gained weight? You may be right there.

Y'all Are Kids

February 22nd, 2011
11:09 am

Randy, even if you spread them out over a longer period?

Holy crap! Spread…period…I kill me!

AmazonRed™ - back from vacay!

February 22nd, 2011
11:09 am

Almost every time. Probably causes the outcome in advance.

Hmmm…. you might be on to something there…

BlackMagicWoman

February 22nd, 2011
11:09 am

“have you ever met someone and felt that connection so you’re a little excited. But then part of you won’t allow yourself to get too excited because all your other relationships you were excited about have crashed and burned too”

ARED…that is the story of my life! If I meet a guy and I like him…my first thought is…what’s wrong with him? I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop!

AmazonRed™ - back from vacay!

February 22nd, 2011
11:10 am

There is just something odd to me about a woman who will call herself a slut whether she is one or not.

Odd, tacky, stupid, silly… any of those words would apply. :lol:

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
11:10 am

Where is Raqi or any woman who has had a kid and was married during the pregnancy?

Does pregnancy kill wanting to be affectionate and the sex drive of a woman? When does it come back? It is cold indoors and out up here. That reminds me I need to buy more paper towels.

AmazonRed™ - back from vacay!

February 22nd, 2011
11:12 am

ARED…that is the story of my life! If I meet a guy and I like him…my first thought is…what’s wrong with him? I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop!

Drives you crazy doesn’t it?

And I wouldn’t even want to marry someone I only new for 6 months. But I would like to feel that “wow, he could really be the one” without the practical side going “take your time, proceed with caution.”

SexyCool

February 22nd, 2011
11:12 am

Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.

The power of life and death is in the tongue. (Okay…I’m laughing at this for so many reasons this morning.) (lmao)

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
11:14 am

dreamslut, so basically don’t believe what you say because it may not be the truth? LOL yes you are a normal woman.

Amazon, Okay I understand now. It is scary to just go on feelings because you think it might not end in a success. Sometimes you have to take the risk. Those are the times when you keep the relationship to yourself so that everyone is not in your business and if it does work you tell people afterwards of your amazing story.

Randy, see the story I read is fact. Not like that man throat cancer deal. LOL

Y'all Are Kids

February 22nd, 2011
11:14 am

SC – Sounds like lip service to me!

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
11:17 am

SexyCool, I get you. :)

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
11:18 am

dreamslut, well welcome to the blog. I am Plito and I call it like I see it. LOL

AmazonRed™ - back from vacay!

February 22nd, 2011
11:18 am

Those are the times when you keep the relationship to yourself so that everyone is not in your business and if it does work you tell people afterwards of your amazing story.

Exactly. :lol:

But you know it sucks having to keep it to yourself! That is, until the relationship goes bad. Then it was just smart. :lol:

dreamslut

February 22nd, 2011
11:19 am

The Instant Connections thing goes on a lot. Sometimes it’s personal and sometimes it’s professional. It’s just having that same vibe. I’m very emotional and can instantly like someone due to physical appearance. But once they open their mouth, it can fade very quickly. Men can be gorgeous, but also cocky, arrogant or just plain boring. Same with women. Men like the outter part, but the inner is pessamistic, whiny or complaining too much. That’s the journey. Just meeting a lot of people and throwing out the refuse that you don’t want.

dreamslut

February 22nd, 2011
11:21 am

If you never go out on a limb, you’ll never get to taste the fruit!

dreamslut

February 22nd, 2011
11:22 am

Gotta run. Gotta run go make some money. Caio!

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
11:23 am

Amazon, sometimes our friends and advice are the worse things in a new relationship.

dreamslut, nice use of the word “refuse” where are you from? Oh yeah there is one person that I call Dream on here and I really don’t want to call you a slut so I am going to call you “DS” but darn that has a bad meaning also….you need another nickname.

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
11:25 am

I think you meant Ciao’.

dreamslut is a regular playing games huh?

SlimSquareOne

February 22nd, 2011
11:27 am

‘And have you ever met someone and felt that connection so you’re a little excited. But then part of you won’t allow yourself to get too excited because all your other relationships you were excited about have crashed and burned too?’

Ared – Yup and it doesn’t help one bit to soften the blow of disappointment & hurt

SlimSquareOne

February 22nd, 2011
11:31 am

‘Those are the times when you keep the relationship to yourself so that everyone is not in your business and if it does work you tell people afterwards of your amazing story’

Great words of advice…because when you’re walking around looking obviously hurt or upset folks won’t be salivating waiting to hear of your demise and temporary misery. I’m not sure which they rather hear…the good lovey dovey part of the courtship or when the shoe drops and all that lovey dovey turns to tears and trying to keep it together

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
11:35 am

Slim, it happens on the blog. When a person meets a new guy/gal there are one or two comments but when she says there is something she may think is wrong with the new guy/gal that person is made out to be Jeffrey Dahmer. LOL

Da_Man!

February 22nd, 2011
11:45 am

I’m only chiming in b/c I heard there was a Dreamslut on the board. I hate to say it but I’m instantly intrigued by “almost” anything slut related …

SlimSquareOne

February 22nd, 2011
11:47 am

I like this quote:
“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should be just friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”
Neil Gaiman

Purple Rain

February 22nd, 2011
11:52 am

Leggs

February 22nd, 2011
11:55 am

Just finished the blood drive. I see dreamslut has arrived, explained her name, closed SimpleMan’s mouth, PR not necessarily vibing with her as is the case with others.

@dreamslut ~ to be honest with you, when you came on yesterday I read your posts all the while Donna Summer’s “Bad Girls” played in my head. But, I liked your explanation for your moniker. However, sounds like “dreamslut” may be your alter ego.

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

February 22nd, 2011
11:57 am

sounds like “dreamslut” may be your alter ego.
So what is everyone else’s alter ego?