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Dating expectations ruin everything?

I once heard a guy say that if women could back off their expectations and demands on men, they would see better results.  I questioned if by “expectations” he mean unrealistic ones, but no.  Apparently expectations can become bothersome and unnecessary in dating.

Quick poll of my male friends revealed that women foolishly expect: every date to be a love connection; good relationships to just happen; and every guy that you want should want you back.  (Yeah umm I’ll admit that I’m guilty of all three of these at one time or another oy!)

I found some truth in a lot of what he was saying. I believe men have expectations that cause problems too, though. Obviously we all are guilty of this but how do we stop it?!

Do you think we are let down and disappointed so much because we expect dating to be something that it’s not?

Are our dating expectations ruining our chances at beginning real relationships?

Happy Monday!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

142 comments Add your comment

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Newrandyt (home for a few hours)

February 21st, 2011
6:53 am

Andy Stanley did a sermon on why relationships fail. He said that this is one of the main ones. The reason is simple…a “desire” says “I wish you to do (fill in the blank) and would think of it as a gift to me”. An “expectation” says “you owe me this’ and it is not a gift but EXPECTED”.

An example might be one might have a desire, hope, etc., that the lady would never wear ugly flannel pjs and always look mighty fine…but it is a desire not an expectation that gives her the opportunity to do something special for you. If the male “expects” the lady to always “service him” on his time table, that puts her in a subservient position of having to rather wanting to. It can’t be a free gift because it is expected.

With a woman, she might desire a nice house, but when that becomes an expectation it puts a terrible burden on him that he has to deliver or get a failing grade..

Expectations, put stress on a relationship. Try hard to “desire” rather than “expect or demand” and it takes resentment out of the equation. You have to teach yourself to think this way, but if you can, men and women will more often rise up than you think.

It is a respect issue.

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SlimNumeroUno

February 21st, 2011
8:08 am

Good morning,

RandyT – Sounds like a great take on Expectations versus Desires…

Me

February 21st, 2011
8:26 am

Desire and Expectations often overlap. Sometimes you “desire” something and it’s unattainable. Other “desires” are deal breakers and if those desires aren’t met, then it’s time to move on and part ways. Expectations are pretty much things that we assume are a given or bars that must be met in order for a relationship to move forward. Different strokes for different folks. Some people think that other’s desires and expectations are outlandish and unrealistic while others say to you “Is that all you want? You need to raise the bar and get what you want or think you deserve instead of just settling.” Most often, 100% of the desires and expectations are not met whether it’s yours or your partners. Just give it your best shot and let the chips fall where they may.

PR in GA

February 21st, 2011
8:26 am

I don’t understand this “expectation thing”… All you should expect from a new relationship is… Does he/she complete you…. If, you’re looking for that house, big ring, fancy car after a few dates.. their not the one… I just met the MAN perfect for me and I know “He’s the one” I knew it the minute I laid my eyes on him… maybe being 47, having life experiences, married once before has given me an edge over younger people but the only thing I expect from him is his LOVE… nuf said.
We’re building our own “yellow brick road”. And yes I desire HIM not the possessions he has. Just him. Mind body and soul…

Lane

February 21st, 2011
8:35 am

Dating sets unrealistic expectations and desires. Every date cannot be something out of a The Bachelor set up where the woman is wowed each time nor can every date be a fantasy seduction and connection that leads to a “connection” that brings firewiorks and seeing stars. Dating is more like that because of the newness, the excitement and the infatuation. Many men and women hold onto this and get let down when it wears off. They can’t deal with relationships when reality sets in. Others want ONLY that feeling and won’t settle for anything less. I have a cousin that women just fall all over. He’s successful, tall and gorgeous. But he got married and didn’t like it when the passion decreased, the sponteneity stopped and (of course) the sex dropped off. He divorced after three years and has been having the time of his life the past six years.Now he has women at each corner and it’s all understood that he isn’t out to get married and won’t be tied down. But the women just keep coming and coming… He told me once “Eventually, both men AND women are going to start asking themselves “Why in the world would I ever WANT to get married?”

Kurt GoBang

February 21st, 2011
9:25 am

One thing I’ve noticed lately is people want out of their partner what they should be trying to obtain themselves. When material objects become a part of their desires or expectations, whatever date that person goes on will lead to an inevitable end. How can you expect something if someone that you don’t bring to the table yourself? As a matter of fact, that goes beyond just material items. Before I met my girlfriend, I could not find a woman who could answer the question, “if I can do whatever it is they say a woman is stereotypically supposed to do for a man, why should I be with you? What do you bring to the table?” I say people nowadays stopped looking for someone to complete them and started looking for someone to complete their list of things they want to obtain in life…

SlimNumeroUno

February 21st, 2011
9:28 am

What are some of you all’s Desires and Expectations

I EXPECT someone i’m dating to respect me and treat me like they have some sense.

I DESIRE to be with someone who will have no struggles in connecting on the same love language I do and understanding me fully.

kimmie

February 21st, 2011
9:29 am

Morning gang!

I don’t really know what to say on this topic. Let me mull over it awhile. I think a lot of guys don’t want a woman to have any expections of anything at all except the desire to give it up. They want you to just go with the “let it flow, whatever happens happens” approach. That let it flow thing is cool for a few early dates and the very young, but I’m sorry, things should be spelled out so no one is wasting their time. A lot of folks are just too old for that. If you just want a FWB, a friend to kick it with or want to really get to know a person with the intent on a long-term relationsbip down the line, put it on the table.

every guy that you want should want you back.

Wise, a lot of men have this expectation. They think just because they paid you some attention and decided they are interested in a woman, she should be interested in him or something is wrong with her. Sometimes we’re just not into him. And we have that right.

Raqi V

February 21st, 2011
9:44 am

IMO there is nothing wrong with having expectations for dating. True some people do have unrealistic expectations but for others it’s just a matter of having standards.

Being void of expectations is to me the same as opening yourself up to accept anything. Every date will not lead to a love connection and you shouldn’t expect every date to be a love connection. However everybody has their reasons for dating and whatever those reasons there are expectations. Conditions. If there wasn’t how would relationship ever form?

Raqi V

February 21st, 2011
9:47 am

kimmie, I agree. It seems that men these days don’t want women to have expectations because they have no desire to present anything of substance. They want women to give it up holding them to no expectation or follow up.

In the famous words of many “I never promised you anything”. But then they get mad when they put out $$$ for a date and get to go home alone. Heck, the woman never promised you anything either so why you got your drawers in bunch.

And I agree you just get too old for the “no expectations” game after a while. If you are 30, 35, 40 years old and dating you should have expectations of the person or people that you are carving out time in your life for. My time is valuable so dating after a certain age I expected certain things. Heck I already knew enough men that I could just kick it with and sex with no other expectation if that’s what I was looking for I didn’t need to add more “nothings” to my life.

SexyCool

February 21st, 2011
9:54 am

Sometimes what some see as expectations are really standards. Lack of standards are a sure path to failure every single time.

Unrealistic expectations (I’m getting a mental picture of Chili here) set you up for disappointment.

PR – I am delighted for you that you seem to have met “The One”. However, I always find it interesting when someone says that they were looking for someone to “complete” them. I’m of the belief that I was a whole person coming into the relationship and I’m looking to be in a relationship with a whole person. Nobody should want to be in a relationship with a piece of a person. (just my outlook)

Celisea

February 21st, 2011
9:56 am

Morning,

Kimmie/Raqi…..I agree with you both whole heartedly. I will tell a guy “no expectations” when initiallt starting up only because I already know I’m not doing or giving anything to somebody I just met or haven’t established some sort of foundation with….nothing doing. If there’s enough interaction and time invested, by all means we’ll establish what we’re doing.

Leggs

February 21st, 2011
9:57 am

Good morning. I don’t get it. Why not have expectations on a date? I don’t expect all dates to turn into a love connection right out the gate, but I do have expectations. Nor do I expect every person I like will like me. After that first date, both will determine if there’s even a need for a second.

Celisea

February 21st, 2011
10:01 am

And yes, now adays you get looked at like you’ve grown two heads if you practice and have standards as a means for living. Most dudes that want something for nothing or wants to eternally “hang out” forever or lack the inability to grow up and get it down to one won’t even garner a head turn from me. I’d much rather you didn’t waste your time by wasting mine.

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

February 21st, 2011
10:03 am

Morning
Expectations are a problem when they’re a product of entitlement.

kimmie

February 21st, 2011
10:05 am

Quick poll of my male friends revealed that women foolishly expect: every date to be a love connection; good relationships to just happen; and every guy that you want should want you back.

Wise – Maybe these are true of the women THEY date. Looks like they need to upgrade their selection process.

Sometimes what some see as expectations are really standards. Lack of standards are a sure path to failure every single time.

SCool – This bears repeating!

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

February 21st, 2011
10:06 am

The expectations I set are for myself. I don’t have any expectations for you.

SexyCool

February 21st, 2011
10:10 am

“I didn’t need to add more “nothings” to my life.”

More people should realize this.

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

February 21st, 2011
10:16 am

Morning, peeps…

On topic: Everybody has expectations. Some are just more reasonable than others. I’m pretty sure most of us would expect our S/O not to go f__k around with half the town behind our backs, so there is always some level of expectation in any relationship. The trick is finding someone whose expectations align with what you want to give and vice versa.

SexyCool

February 21st, 2011
10:19 am

One of the last guys that I dated before meeting TheDude initially made it seem as if he was looking for a serious relationship. However, it didn’t take me long to realize that he was trying to put me on an FWB program.

I politely declined to participate and informed him of just that.

“Look, guy. I respect where you are in your life and alhough you said you wanted a serious relationship, it is obvious that you have somehow determined that I am not long-term potential because you are trying to treat me like a booty call. And, er, um…that’s not my thing. So, let’s just let this lie where it falls and I’ll keep it moving.”

Like Rock said….I just would have been adding another “nothing” and I would have allowed myself to be another “nothing.”

Celisea

February 21st, 2011
10:32 am

I’ve experienced many times that dudes will present themselves to you “as if” they’re wanting something serious. I’ve also discovered as often as it’s presented this way, you won’t have to wait no time to find most times their actions don’t match their words. I’d much prefer and respect a person saying I’m just adding to my smach numbers…that way I can say no from the jump. That’s why you NEVER act on words alone or prematurely.

Leggs

February 21st, 2011
10:33 am

I was almost a “nothing,” but quickly came to my senses (LOL)!

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

February 21st, 2011
10:43 am

None of you are “nothings” to me. ;-)

Leggs

February 21st, 2011
10:46 am

Always so sweet, DreamsM!

SexyCool

February 21st, 2011
11:03 am

If someone is a match for you, your expectations/desires/standards won’t be dealbreakers for them. And vice versa.

So…obviously, having the above mentioned in place are designed to weed out folks who are not for you.

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

February 21st, 2011
11:10 am

everyone must be off for President’s Day.

SlimNumeroUno

February 21st, 2011
11:11 am

So folks, did you all do anything special/exciting this weekend? My sis and niece came up and we spent the beautiful Saturday at the Atlanta Zoo. The animals look like they sure could use a pick me up and I almost got kicked by a greedy goat. I’m really living on the edge of life now :lol:

Leggs

February 21st, 2011
11:15 am

@SlimNU ~ I actually wasted precious hours of my life at Crow’s Nest and then Grown Folk. Haven’t hung out on Old National Hwy in decades and I now remember why! UUGGHH!!!

SexyCool

February 21st, 2011
11:40 am

Leggs – I went to Crow’s Nest last Friday night for a birthday party. I actually had a good time. However, that was due in part to the very low expectations that I had and my determination that I would be leaving by midnight.

The most interesting thing that happened – the striptease like “special lip syncing performance” from the old lady that looked like a man. She started off in a rather interesting costume for her first song, a slow number. Then, for her second selection, she stripped it off to reveal something that was sheer and barely covering the thong she had on. It was not pretty. It was entertaining as all get out….but…it was not pretty.

Oh…and I’m like…really, Crow’s Nest management, do y’all care so little that you can’t fix that tattered ass awning?

SlimNumeroUno

February 21st, 2011
11:59 am

Leggs – Ohhh, well um…sorry bout that. I can’t even recall the last time I partied off Ole Nat’ El

Leggs

February 21st, 2011
12:00 pm

@SexyC ~ I think most places are better on Friday nights now that Saturdays are regulated to b-day parties. There were too many old folk, and really big women. Si-Man was deejaying, but he didn’t do a good job!

Leggs

February 21st, 2011
12:08 pm

I really like Echelon on Fridays, but going on a Saturday to see what it’s like. Saturdays are also regulated to their bday parties.

SlimNumeroUno

February 21st, 2011
12:13 pm

I haven’t been to Echelon…The last club I attempted to go to was Esso’s for a friend of a friends bday party. I didn’t make it out of the parking lot because it just looked like too many young folks going in. We ended up ditching that spot and headed off to Shout instead.

SexyCool

February 21st, 2011
12:15 pm

Really, the only reason I can see myself out in a club these days is for a birthday party, a GNO (girl’s night out) or if TheDude and I decide to go out dancing.

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

February 21st, 2011
12:20 pm

Yeah I haven’t been to the club in long time either. I did enjoy the weather over the weekend though. About to go out and enjoy it for lunch too. lol

Leggs

February 21st, 2011
12:22 pm

I think I like Echelon mostly due to its poximity to my home (LOL). 2 free drinks and a very nice buffet!

@SexyC ~ other than the 3 reasons you listed, IF you aren’t on the prowl, I see no reason to go to a club (LOL). Oh and while I was out, I went over to see what “Grown Folks” was about. I saw no rhyme or reason to that club. Got there a little after midnight and seemed everyone up in that camp was drunk!

Eric

February 21st, 2011
12:23 pm

I was told about Johnny’s Hidaway and kept putting off going there. I went there last Friday and had the best time I’ve had in a couple of years. It’s a small place and not very modern, but it was a major part atmosphere. I’m just 38, but around midnight, it was just swarming with people. I know it’s an older crowd, but there were some really jawdroppingly beautiful women there. Learned to swing, then taught them how to really dance later. Great spot and I will be there again very soon!

Leggs

February 21st, 2011
12:35 pm

Glad you had a great time, Eric. My Saturday was a BUSTED one. To top matters off, I was with a gf who was a “Debbie Downer” the entire evening.

SexyCool

February 21st, 2011
12:39 pm

Well, Leggs, hopefully, you will make that the last time you hang out with her at the club.

For Real

February 21st, 2011
12:47 pm

What up Blog Fam!

On topic: DATING EXPECTATIONS!!! – There are the only two expectations one should have when they are DATING; Respect and having a good time.

Leggs

February 21st, 2011
1:10 pm

Yes indeed, SexyC, yes indeed! I thought I was doing a good thing by inviting her and getting her out of the house. She doesn’t go many places since she doesn’t have a car, but she was definitely not in a good mood while there. I just don’t understand how a woman can be in a club and frown the entire evening. Keep your arse home!

SexyCool

February 21st, 2011
1:13 pm

Leggs, next time, take her to the movies and take her butt home. (lol)

SlimNumeroUno

February 21st, 2011
1:16 pm

Leggs – I would classify that as WIGGETY WACK! :roll:

Leggs

February 21st, 2011
1:25 pm

Raqi V

February 21st, 2011
1:30 pm

Wow not many comments on this one and I thought this was an excellent topic.

Oh well I’ll just talk about my favorite then…RAQI. LOL

I went to the doctors this morning and the little one is doing quite splendidly. His heartbeat is very strong and he is already 13″ long according to the sonogram. He is going to be a tall one.

I don’t have to wear the monitors around the clock since after being off of the meds that stop the contractions I have shown very little to none in the past 3 days. I only have hook-up for a reading every two hours. However I have not been releases from bed rest. But it’s a good feeling knowing the little squid is getting very strong and healthy.

Raqi V

February 21st, 2011
1:31 pm

I hate typos. LOL

kimmie

February 21st, 2011
1:36 pm

Raqi – That’s good news

SlimNumeroUno

February 21st, 2011
1:45 pm

Raqi – We’ll keep holding you up on the Blogsville Bed Rest Prayer list ;-)

Leggs

February 21st, 2011
1:47 pm

Excellent news. Ms. Raqi V.

Raqi V

February 21st, 2011
2:02 pm

Yes, kimmie and Leggs, very good news. I think my hub breathed a greater sigh of relief than I did this morning. LOL

Slim, thank you. We can always use prayer.

Raqi V

February 21st, 2011
2:13 pm

*tap*tap*tap*
.
.
.
.
I guess it’s just me and my shadow again. But this time I am not feeling blue. LOL

SlimNumeroUno

February 21st, 2011
2:17 pm

I’s still herrrr…but it’s looking rather skimpy around deez herr parts. I know THAT many folks didn’t get today off.

Raqi V

February 21st, 2011
2:29 pm

LOL Slim I know unless more of them work for the government than they are admitting to.

When Mase is downstairs working I tend to get sleepy sitting here with no one to talk to. The television does not keep me awake. If I sleep during the day I will not be able to sleep at night so I try to talk to someone. One of my friends is coming over but she will not here until around 4pm so I am not bothering her with emails and texts right now.

You want to talk? LOL

SlimNumeroUno

February 21st, 2011
2:32 pm

If that many folks have goberment jobs then Houston we have a problem…lol

You ever play Family Feud online? lol

SlimNumeroUno

February 21st, 2011
2:33 pm

I really think Wise should let all the exiled members come out to play on a day-pass or something…this is just tom foolery. (I almost said an “R” word that was going to send my blog straight to file 13…the garbage can)

Raqi V

February 21st, 2011
2:38 pm

Slim, I think some may be in lock up thru their employers moreso than the blog.

I know where I used to work if your station or computer was seen to be frequenting certain prohibited sites or your constant use of certain language was noticed you got shut down from the www.

And those that get indefinitely blocked by the ajc filter I would imagine have blatantly ignored warnings. I don’t care what we may feel should be allowed every organization has it rules. You either abide or get banned.

It’s no different than what you allow to go on in your house. No one can tell you how to run your house. Right?

Raqi V

February 21st, 2011
2:41 pm

And seriously being adults why do they insist on being obnoxious to the moderator and the participants? That behavior reeks of bitterness.

Raqi V

February 21st, 2011
2:42 pm

There is a way to disagree and not be vulgar and hateful. I know I would kick you out of my house if you came with that behavior.

Raqi V

February 21st, 2011
2:43 pm

And yes I have played an online version of Family Feud. And checkers.

Leggs

February 21st, 2011
2:45 pm

So, we are now having a 2-person gabfest (LOL).

Leggs

February 21st, 2011
2:47 pm

Here’s an observation which we all know works. I had on a dress Saturday night that showed quite a bit of clevage (tastefully, that is). It is true, women with boobs (anything over 32A) gets more attention. I walked up to the bar, ordered my drink and another paid for it. I’m convinced it was because of the boobs (LOL)…

Raqi V

February 21st, 2011
2:49 pm

Leggs, I think Slim left me talking to myself. LOL

And yes the boobs got you a drink. LOL Now I wonder what that man’s undisclosed expectations were after buying you that drink.

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

February 21st, 2011
2:53 pm

So, there are some blog feuds going on? I’m so out of the blog loop. Anyway, I was out for lunch and just had a pomegranate yogurt with fresh strawberries, kiwi, and raspberries. that was some good shyyyyyyyt. lol

Leggs

February 21st, 2011
2:54 pm

:lol: She should have tapped you on your shoulder to let you know she was leaving.

No telling what is “expectations” were. That drink was $9.50…sheesh!

Raqi V

February 21st, 2011
2:55 pm

Just making chitchat with the tech at the doctor’s I asked her if she was me what would be the first thing she would do after getting off bedrest. She looked at me and said “the first thing YOU are going to do after being released from bed rest is have this baby. That’s the only way you will be getting released.”

Leggs

February 21st, 2011
2:57 pm

Heck, I’m typing like I’m still feeling that drink.

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

February 21st, 2011
2:57 pm

Now I wonder what that man’s undisclosed expectations were after buying you that drink.
Raqi a slice of conversation, a scoop of dancing, a helping of laughter, and a side of boooootay. lol you know what it was.

Leggs

February 21st, 2011
2:58 pm

Have to laugh at that answer, even though that’s not what you thought she would say!

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

February 21st, 2011
2:59 pm

That drink was $9.50…
Ok forget the convo, dancing, and laughter, and make that two helpings of booootay. lol what drink whas that?

Raqi V

February 21st, 2011
3:01 pm

DreamsMat, all of that for a $9.50 drink? For $9.50 a smile and a “thank you” is enough. LOL

Raqi V

February 21st, 2011
3:02 pm

Yeah Leggs she was pretty much saying don’t bother thinking about anything else until this baby is born.

SlimNumeroUno

February 21st, 2011
3:02 pm

Sorry Raqi – I had to step away from my desk for a few. But I heard everything you said. LOL

kimmie

February 21st, 2011
3:04 pm

Leggs – Go on with your bad self!

Raqi – Talking about folks not knowing how to act on the blog, one time, after things got particularly crazy on here, Wise came on to remind folks of the rules. I thanked her for coming on and doing that. How about a few folks on here asked if I was the one that “tattled”? How could I snitch to the moderator on a blog she moderates??LOL!! It’s not that serious that I lose sleep over this thing! LOL!!

Raqi V

February 21st, 2011
3:05 pm

It really amazed me when I would be out and guys really thought offering or buying a drink for a woman entitled him to anything other than a “thank you”. Getting conversation is a small stretch but anything more is just an insane expectation. Nope my goods are not for sale at the price of an Apple Martini.

SlimNumeroUno

February 21st, 2011
3:08 pm

Dreams – daaaaaang homie, where did you get that yogurt? I’m supposed to be trying to eat better and I just had a snack craving but ended up with some tatoe chips smh

Raqi V

February 21st, 2011
3:09 pm

Tattled? Snitched? LOL No one needs to tattle or snitch when the filter is in place and the woman actually do read the comments.

Yes people voiced their grievances about the nonsense but that was done right here on the screen for all to see. We are adults. We should be able to have conflicting point of views without folks taking it to the extreme of being hateful, obnoxious and rude.

SlimNumeroUno

February 21st, 2011
3:09 pm

If gas has gone up to over $3…then lawd knows the price of boootay done gone up too….and guess what? $9.50 doesn’t cost the overhead for boootay :lol:

kimmie

February 21st, 2011
3:10 pm

Yeah that yogurt does sound good, Dreams. I thought I was doing something this morning with that little vanilla yogurt with the fresh blackberries I put together, but you have me beat!LOL!

Simple Man!!!!

February 21st, 2011
3:11 pm

Coming out of the woodwork….

What kind of drink can one buy at the club that cost $9.50????

SlimNumeroUno

February 21st, 2011
3:13 pm

correction: $9.50 doesn’t cover the cost of overhead for boootay

Raqi V

February 21st, 2011
3:15 pm

My friend just called to say she and husband are on their way and bringing dinner catered by Alon’s Bakery. I haven’t eaten from there in years.

SlimNumeroUno

February 21st, 2011
3:15 pm

Simple – 9.50 is almost a discout….If you get a Goose w/juice from Strip i think it’s either 10 or 11 bucks. Places force you to bring in your own flask hidden in your oversized purse sheesh

kimmie

February 21st, 2011
3:15 pm

Yeah, I’m all about a healthy debate, disagreement or even folks playing devils advocate. I mean it would be straight up boring if we all nodded our heads in agreement about everything on here. But a few took to downright insulting everything some folks said. It was all so obvious.

Or I got acused of being a prude when #1 – I’m at work on here most times & #2 – a lot of the more risque talk is dudes talking about female parts – something that naturally just doesn’t interest me! :)

Raqi V

February 21st, 2011
3:16 pm

More men could probably get more play if they stopped trying to make a woman feel like she is obligated to give it just because he shelled out $10 for a drink or $30 for dinner.

Leggs

February 21st, 2011
3:17 pm

@DreamsM ~ he got 2 out of the 4.

Raqi V

February 21st, 2011
3:19 pm

kimmie, exactly. There are many on here that don’t agree on everything but we know how to do so without going for the throat. I don’t see how those people even maintain relationships if they can’t disagree without trying to draw blood.

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

February 21st, 2011
3:21 pm

DreamsMat, all of that for a $9.50 drink? For $9.50 a smile and a “thank you” is enough. LOL
Raqi Hey I’m just telling you what was running through HIS mind…I’m just translating. lol

How about a few folks on here asked if I was the one that “tattled”?
kimmie I think one of those people was me, but I was completely joking. You know I would never disparage you. ;-) I’ll buy you one of those yogurts to make up for it. And for you, a “thank you” will suffice…only cuz it’s you though. ;-)

Dreams – daaaaaang homie, where did you get that yogurt?
Slim got this one from Pinkberry. It was really good, but still not as good as The Yogurt Tap in downtown Decatur.

Leggs

February 21st, 2011
3:23 pm

@DreamsM ~ I was drinking Grand Marnier and pineapple juice.

kimmie

February 21st, 2011
3:25 pm

Dream – LOL!! Thanks for the yogurt! I knew you were joking, but others that I knew were hating on me were not!LOL!!

Leggs

February 21st, 2011
3:26 pm

@SlimNU ~ I had a bottle of liquor in the car that I thought about smuggling into the club. I didn’t, but it fleetingly crossed my mind (lol).

SexyCool

February 21st, 2011
3:28 pm

As a frequent target of the madness, I tell you, it was downright offputting and extremely difficult to maintain the “bigger person” of it all. (I failed at that on more than one occasion. There are only so many insults you can ignore.)

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

February 21st, 2011
3:29 pm

My friend just called to say she and husband are on their way and bringing dinner catered by Alon’s Bakery. I haven’t eaten from there in years.
Raqi can you have them bring me a couple of their crab cakes and a some chocolate croissants from the bakery? Oh and grab a bottle of their Chilean merlot…it’s pretty good. I’ll hit them with the cash when I get paid. lol

DreamsM ~ he got 2 out of the 4.
Leggs 50%? That’s a failing grade. I like A’s, so I shoot for 100% all of the time. hahaha

Leggs

February 21st, 2011
3:31 pm

@DreamsM ~ I guess you better buy her more than 1 drink.

Raqi V

February 21st, 2011
3:33 pm

SexyCool, exactly. It went beyond just disagreeing on views of life experiences to folks just being insulting for no good reason. I don’t miss that at all.

DreamsMat, yeah from what I can remember eating from there the food is very good. Imma have to pass on the desserts though. :sad:

kimmie

February 21st, 2011
3:33 pm

SCool – That was a dark blog time. Glad it’s over! This thing is supposed to be fun way to pass the time and exchange ideas and banter! Not a place to come get slapped!LOL!!

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

February 21st, 2011
3:38 pm

DreamsM ~ I guess you better buy her more than 1 drink.
Leggs I can get the bootay without a drink. lol ok let me stop. Honestly, the first 3 things are usually enough. Good, genuine conversation and laughter go alot further than a drink with most.

SexyCool

February 21st, 2011
3:40 pm

DreamsMat, I agree. TheDude turned my head with a compliment, his conversation and he made me laugh. Hell, I am just realizing today that he did not buy me a drink that day. wow…(lol)

Raqi V

February 21st, 2011
3:40 pm

My son just me a text saying his friend girl has invited him to join their band. He will be the drummer. LOL He plays pretty good but I want him to think long and hard before making that move.

It would something good for him to do in place of spending idle time doing nothing but I have started to see signs of that little girl being a little controlling.

Raqi V

February 21st, 2011
3:43 pm

Good compliments go a lot further than $10 for a drink. LOL Most will not remember the drink you bought but will definitely remember the compliment.

kimmie

February 21st, 2011
3:46 pm

Any man I’ve ever met out that got my attention got it with intelligent, easy conversation and good humor.

SexyCool

February 21st, 2011
3:47 pm

Yep. I can still remember exactly what he said, word for word. And with my patchy memory, that’s a minor miracle.

SlimNumeroUno

February 21st, 2011
3:47 pm

Dreams – That yogurt shole sounds good but I already drive from Conyers to Fairburn everyday so adding Downtown Catur to my list just ain’t happenin’

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

February 21st, 2011
3:48 pm

Hell, I am just realizing today that he did not buy me a drink that day. wow…
SexyC lol that’s funny, but I bet it’s irrelevant in the grand scheme of your relationship. People put too much emphasis on things that don’t really matter, dudes by thinking a drink entitles them to something, and women for sometimes thinking they are entitled to a drink in the first place. Focus on good convo and laughter, and you’re likely to get someone who will provide that (and more). Focus on a drink, and you’re likely to get…well drunk. lol

I have started to see signs of that little girl being a little controlling.
Raqi so everything is status quo? lol kidding. You should definitely watch out for that. Also, are you sure he’s not trying to use his drummer time to bang something else?

kimmie

February 21st, 2011
3:49 pm

SCool – Did he say

Hey, how ya doin?
Baby whatcha gettin into?
I don’t whatcha name is
Or who ya came with
But I ain’t leavin without ya!!

:lol:

SlimNumeroUno

February 21st, 2011
3:53 pm

Dreams – What I find funny is when a dude clearly has been watching you at the bar, order your drink and then pay for it….then he decides to come over asking whatcha drinkin as if he wanted to pay for it. Oh, you already paid? (Then he’ll throw the bartender a dolla tip) :lol:

SexyCool

February 21st, 2011
3:54 pm

And it wasn’t that I had an “expectation” (since that’s what we are talking about today) for him to buy me a drink. I only realized, today, that he didn’t buy me one since we were talking about it.

SexyCool

February 21st, 2011
3:55 pm

kimmie – LMAO!!!

Raqi V

February 21st, 2011
3:56 pm

i>Also, are you sure he’s not trying to use his drummer time to bang something else?

DreamsMat, shut up. LOL And no he is not.

kimmie

February 21st, 2011
3:58 pm

Raqi – It does sound like she’s running thangs! Leader of the band and all!!LOL!!

SexyCool

February 21st, 2011
4:01 pm

And oddly enough, what he said to me wasn’t very original and was something that I’d heard versions of in the past. But, there was something about the way he said it that just made it……..undescribable.

“I don’t mean to stare at you, but I think you’re beautiful.”

My heart skipped a beat when he said it and it skips another beat every time I remember him saying it.

Raqi V

February 21st, 2011
4:03 pm

Kimmie, I think it’s her way of keeping him in eye sight. Mase will not tell me but I think she thinks she owns him now because she gave him “something”. She calls a lot now on the landline because he is not allowed to talk on his cell after a certain hour and I have to tell her she needs to cool it.

kimmie

February 21st, 2011
4:04 pm

SCool – That’s hot! My heart would skip too! :)

Raqi V

February 21st, 2011
4:04 pm

“I don’t mean to stare at you, but I think you’re beautiful.”

Girl that is worth way more than a stupid drink that just goes thru your body and out down the toilet. LOL

Raqi V

February 21st, 2011
4:05 pm

Children are stupid. LOL

kimmie

February 21st, 2011
4:07 pm

Raqi – I’m just shaking my head. Bold. Good they know not to mess with you, that you’ve got their number!

I just smh at some of the little things the kids try to get over on me. It frustrates them to no end, I know, and I just laugh. They don’t realize I’ve been there, done that, got the t-shirt and the hoodie!LOL!!

SexyCool

February 21st, 2011
4:10 pm

I just wonder where the heck are her parents and if they are up on their Hot Momma Monitoring Duties. Cause it really sounds like they need to be.

Raqi V

February 21st, 2011
4:15 pm

kimmie and SexyCool, it’s starting to feel like de javu but I am a step ahead of this one.

I know how it is being the mother of the boy and I can tell when something change about them. But I do wonder do these little girls parents not look for the signs. Hell the mother is a girl she should recognize herself in her own daughter.

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

February 21st, 2011
4:16 pm

DreamsMat, shut up. LOL And no he is not.
Raqi hey I’m just checking. I know it crossed your mind though, if just for a minute. I see you got Mase on it though, so you’re good.

Raqi V

February 21st, 2011
4:17 pm

My dad used to have piercing eyes and a voice so stern that some boys never showed up to see me and my sister again after one visit. LOL

kimmie

February 21st, 2011
4:18 pm

Raqi – Girl, my mother watched me like a hawk, worse than my brothers. But we couldn’t get anything by her! She used to say she had eyes behind her head and I believed her!

Raqi V

February 21st, 2011
4:20 pm

Gotta go. I hear my bestie coming up the stairs. You all have a good evening.

dreamslut

February 21st, 2011
4:22 pm

If I go into a bar and pay for more than one drink, I unbutton a few more shirt buttons. If ya got ‘em, use ‘em to your advantage, I say! LOL

Leggs

February 21st, 2011
4:23 pm

Had to laugh at your 4:05, Raqi V. So eloquently stated and so true!

dreamslut

February 21st, 2011
4:25 pm

I hate the uptight people that bad mouth women that are proud of what they did in the gym (or my plasto doc). I’ll damn sure use whatever I can to get what I want. I won’t necessarily sex you, but I’ll make you wonder if I might. That’s all it usually takes.

Leggs

February 21st, 2011
4:30 pm

DreamsM ~ I didn’t know you had a slut on the side!

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

February 21st, 2011
4:33 pm

DreamsM ~ I didn’t know you had a slut on the side!
Don’t sleep. lol

SlimNumeroUno

February 21st, 2011
4:34 pm

She’s a Drink Slut lol

Leggs

February 21st, 2011
4:35 pm

Wrong, you better not sleep. Sounds like she’s also a pick pocketer…

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

February 21st, 2011
4:37 pm

Wrong, you better not sleep. Sounds like she’s also a pick pocketer…
Leggs
I never sleep, and if I do, I still got my game face on.

dreamslut call me. LMAO

dreamslut

February 21st, 2011
4:40 pm

Oh, come on. We ALL do it! The men KNOW we do it. They just can’t help themselves. It’s like that movie line “So….you’re saying there’s a chance…?” Probably not, but until you realize that, I’ll flirt with the best of them. Use a push up and turn a pair of C’s into a pair of D’s and you’ll drink free all night. It’s just a game out there and it’s played all day, every day at work, stores, clubs, everywhere. You either lead, follow or get left behind.

Leggs

February 21st, 2011
4:41 pm

OMG, you sound like the Twlight dude. He never slept! Too funny, game face on if you do fall asleep.

Dan - Simply...Superior

February 21st, 2011
4:44 pm

@ Dreamslut,

You keep thinking that until that one lame follow you back to car and want that expectation met. I pray it never happens, but I’d advise you not to keep testing fate.

Leggs

February 21st, 2011
4:47 pm

You do have a point, dreamslut. I sat at my table with a light shawl wrapped around my shoulders (right under the AC duct). Two men came and stood by the side of the table just watching the women. Turned to my table to see who was sitting there, even looked my way. I laughed to myself and continue sittng there. About 10 mins. later I knew what would happen if I got up so I did. I took the shawl from around my shoulders, tapped one on the shoulder so I could get by. Went to the bar and ordered my drink (that’s when another man paid for it), walked back to my seat with those two guys acting like they’re seeing me for the first time. Well, they kinda are, they saw the boobs, but never thought about connecting with my face while I was sitting at the table in front of them. At that point, I was invisible. Cool, because as I was walking back to my seat, they were invisible to me as well…it’s all a game!

dreamslut

February 21st, 2011
4:51 pm

@Dan

I know that it happens, but I am pretty careful and don’t go out alone or walk to my car alone. It’s not like there aren’t another 100 women in the club doing the same thing. That’s why we get to do the picking. It’s nature’s order and law. The men strut for us and we get to pick who we dance with. I love attention, so sue me. I listen to these other women on here and it’s like watching The Old Wives Club on DVD. I’ll settle down…some day. But until then it’s raining men, Hallelujah!

dreamslut

February 21st, 2011
4:54 pm

Absolutely, Leggs. t’s not like we sex every man that buys us a drink. We say nice things, act like we have half a personality, dress nice and be happy. Just have FUN! It’s not like we go to clubs to discuss our IRS return. Lighten up, people. Life is a great trip if you just allow it to be.

SexyCool

February 21st, 2011
4:58 pm

Um, yeah…no, dreamchik….I don’t need to trade a glimpse of my D-cup cleavage for a drink. I’m not that cheap or that easy.

Leggs

February 21st, 2011
5:02 pm

To get to the top, you’ll have to get off your bottom ~ Church Bulletin

Good night!

SexyCool

February 21st, 2011
5:03 pm

And if you’re drinking free all night, I hope you’re not getting your drunk ass behind the wheel.

Simple Man!!!!

February 21st, 2011
5:16 pm

Popping back in……Dreamslut, Huh…..Not to self…..
( back to lurking)