Dating expectations ruin everything?
I once heard a guy say that if women could back off their expectations and demands on men, they would see better results. I questioned if by “expectations” he mean unrealistic ones, but no. Apparently expectations can become bothersome and unnecessary in dating.
Quick poll of my male friends revealed that women foolishly expect: every date to be a love connection; good relationships to just happen; and every guy that you want should want you back. (Yeah umm I’ll admit that I’m guilty of all three of these at one time or another oy!)
I found some truth in a lot of what he was saying. I believe men have expectations that cause problems too, though. Obviously we all are guilty of this but how do we stop it?!
Do you think we are let down and disappointed so much because we expect dating to be something that it’s not?
Are our dating expectations ruining our chances at beginning real relationships?
Happy Monday!
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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142 comments Add your comment
SlimNumeroUno
February 21st, 2011
1:45 pm
Raqi – We’ll keep holding you up on the Blogsville Bed Rest Prayer list
Leggs
February 21st, 2011
1:47 pm
Excellent news. Ms. Raqi V.
Raqi V
February 21st, 2011
2:02 pm
Yes, kimmie and Leggs, very good news. I think my hub breathed a greater sigh of relief than I did this morning. LOL
Slim, thank you. We can always use prayer.
Raqi V
February 21st, 2011
2:13 pm
*tap*tap*tap*
.
.
.
.
I guess it’s just me and my shadow again. But this time I am not feeling blue. LOL
SlimNumeroUno
February 21st, 2011
2:17 pm
I’s still herrrr…but it’s looking rather skimpy around deez herr parts. I know THAT many folks didn’t get today off.
Raqi V
February 21st, 2011
2:29 pm
LOL Slim I know unless more of them work for the government than they are admitting to.
When Mase is downstairs working I tend to get sleepy sitting here with no one to talk to. The television does not keep me awake. If I sleep during the day I will not be able to sleep at night so I try to talk to someone. One of my friends is coming over but she will not here until around 4pm so I am not bothering her with emails and texts right now.
You want to talk? LOL
SlimNumeroUno
February 21st, 2011
2:32 pm
If that many folks have goberment jobs then Houston we have a problem…lol
You ever play Family Feud online? lol
SlimNumeroUno
February 21st, 2011
2:33 pm
I really think Wise should let all the exiled members come out to play on a day-pass or something…this is just tom foolery. (I almost said an “R” word that was going to send my blog straight to file 13…the garbage can)
Raqi V
February 21st, 2011
2:38 pm
Slim, I think some may be in lock up thru their employers moreso than the blog.
I know where I used to work if your station or computer was seen to be frequenting certain prohibited sites or your constant use of certain language was noticed you got shut down from the www.
And those that get indefinitely blocked by the ajc filter I would imagine have blatantly ignored warnings. I don’t care what we may feel should be allowed every organization has it rules. You either abide or get banned.
It’s no different than what you allow to go on in your house. No one can tell you how to run your house. Right?
Raqi V
February 21st, 2011
2:41 pm
And seriously being adults why do they insist on being obnoxious to the moderator and the participants? That behavior reeks of bitterness.
Raqi V
February 21st, 2011
2:42 pm
There is a way to disagree and not be vulgar and hateful. I know I would kick you out of my house if you came with that behavior.
Raqi V
February 21st, 2011
2:43 pm
And yes I have played an online version of Family Feud. And checkers.
Leggs
February 21st, 2011
2:45 pm
So, we are now having a 2-person gabfest (LOL).
Leggs
February 21st, 2011
2:47 pm
Here’s an observation which we all know works. I had on a dress Saturday night that showed quite a bit of clevage (tastefully, that is). It is true, women with boobs (anything over 32A) gets more attention. I walked up to the bar, ordered my drink and another paid for it. I’m convinced it was because of the boobs (LOL)…
Raqi V
February 21st, 2011
2:49 pm
Leggs, I think Slim left me talking to myself. LOL
And yes the boobs got you a drink. LOL Now I wonder what that man’s undisclosed expectations were after buying you that drink.
DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"
February 21st, 2011
2:53 pm
So, there are some blog feuds going on? I’m so out of the blog loop. Anyway, I was out for lunch and just had a pomegranate yogurt with fresh strawberries, kiwi, and raspberries. that was some good shyyyyyyyt. lol
Leggs
February 21st, 2011
2:54 pm
No telling what is “expectations” were. That drink was $9.50…sheesh!
Raqi V
February 21st, 2011
2:55 pm
Just making chitchat with the tech at the doctor’s I asked her if she was me what would be the first thing she would do after getting off bedrest. She looked at me and said “the first thing YOU are going to do after being released from bed rest is have this baby. That’s the only way you will be getting released.”
Leggs
February 21st, 2011
2:57 pm
Heck, I’m typing like I’m still feeling that drink.
DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"
February 21st, 2011
2:57 pm
Now I wonder what that man’s undisclosed expectations were after buying you that drink.
Raqi a slice of conversation, a scoop of dancing, a helping of laughter, and a side of boooootay. lol you know what it was.
Leggs
February 21st, 2011
2:58 pm
Have to laugh at that answer, even though that’s not what you thought she would say!
DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"
February 21st, 2011
2:59 pm
That drink was $9.50…
Ok forget the convo, dancing, and laughter, and make that two helpings of booootay. lol what drink whas that?
Raqi V
February 21st, 2011
3:01 pm
DreamsMat, all of that for a $9.50 drink? For $9.50 a smile and a “thank you” is enough. LOL
Raqi V
February 21st, 2011
3:02 pm
Yeah Leggs she was pretty much saying don’t bother thinking about anything else until this baby is born.
SlimNumeroUno
February 21st, 2011
3:02 pm
Sorry Raqi – I had to step away from my desk for a few. But I heard everything you said. LOL
kimmie
February 21st, 2011
3:04 pm
Leggs – Go on with your bad self!
Raqi – Talking about folks not knowing how to act on the blog, one time, after things got particularly crazy on here, Wise came on to remind folks of the rules. I thanked her for coming on and doing that. How about a few folks on here asked if I was the one that “tattled”? How could I snitch to the moderator on a blog she moderates??LOL!! It’s not that serious that I lose sleep over this thing! LOL!!
Raqi V
February 21st, 2011
3:05 pm
It really amazed me when I would be out and guys really thought offering or buying a drink for a woman entitled him to anything other than a “thank you”. Getting conversation is a small stretch but anything more is just an insane expectation. Nope my goods are not for sale at the price of an Apple Martini.
SlimNumeroUno
February 21st, 2011
3:08 pm
Dreams – daaaaaang homie, where did you get that yogurt? I’m supposed to be trying to eat better and I just had a snack craving but ended up with some tatoe chips smh
Raqi V
February 21st, 2011
3:09 pm
Tattled? Snitched? LOL No one needs to tattle or snitch when the filter is in place and the woman actually do read the comments.
Yes people voiced their grievances about the nonsense but that was done right here on the screen for all to see. We are adults. We should be able to have conflicting point of views without folks taking it to the extreme of being hateful, obnoxious and rude.
SlimNumeroUno
February 21st, 2011
3:09 pm
If gas has gone up to over $3…then lawd knows the price of boootay done gone up too….and guess what? $9.50 doesn’t cost the overhead for boootay
kimmie
February 21st, 2011
3:10 pm
Yeah that yogurt does sound good, Dreams. I thought I was doing something this morning with that little vanilla yogurt with the fresh blackberries I put together, but you have me beat!LOL!
Simple Man!!!!
February 21st, 2011
3:11 pm
Coming out of the woodwork….
What kind of drink can one buy at the club that cost $9.50????
SlimNumeroUno
February 21st, 2011
3:13 pm
correction: $9.50 doesn’t cover the cost of overhead for boootay
Raqi V
February 21st, 2011
3:15 pm
My friend just called to say she and husband are on their way and bringing dinner catered by Alon’s Bakery. I haven’t eaten from there in years.
SlimNumeroUno
February 21st, 2011
3:15 pm
Simple – 9.50 is almost a discout….If you get a Goose w/juice from Strip i think it’s either 10 or 11 bucks. Places force you to bring in your own flask hidden in your oversized purse sheesh
kimmie
February 21st, 2011
3:15 pm
Yeah, I’m all about a healthy debate, disagreement or even folks playing devils advocate. I mean it would be straight up boring if we all nodded our heads in agreement about everything on here. But a few took to downright insulting everything some folks said. It was all so obvious.
Or I got acused of being a prude when #1 – I’m at work on here most times & #2 – a lot of the more risque talk is dudes talking about female parts – something that naturally just doesn’t interest me!
Raqi V
February 21st, 2011
3:16 pm
More men could probably get more play if they stopped trying to make a woman feel like she is obligated to give it just because he shelled out $10 for a drink or $30 for dinner.
Leggs
February 21st, 2011
3:17 pm
@DreamsM ~ he got 2 out of the 4.
Raqi V
February 21st, 2011
3:19 pm
kimmie, exactly. There are many on here that don’t agree on everything but we know how to do so without going for the throat. I don’t see how those people even maintain relationships if they can’t disagree without trying to draw blood.
DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"
February 21st, 2011
3:21 pm
DreamsMat, all of that for a $9.50 drink? For $9.50 a smile and a “thank you” is enough. LOL
Raqi Hey I’m just telling you what was running through HIS mind…I’m just translating. lol
How about a few folks on here asked if I was the one that “tattled”?
I’ll buy you one of those yogurts to make up for it. And for you, a “thank you” will suffice…only cuz it’s you though. 
kimmie I think one of those people was me, but I was completely joking. You know I would never disparage you.
Dreams – daaaaaang homie, where did you get that yogurt?
Slim got this one from Pinkberry. It was really good, but still not as good as The Yogurt Tap in downtown Decatur.
Leggs
February 21st, 2011
3:23 pm
@DreamsM ~ I was drinking Grand Marnier and pineapple juice.
kimmie
February 21st, 2011
3:25 pm
Dream – LOL!! Thanks for the yogurt! I knew you were joking, but others that I knew were hating on me were not!LOL!!
Leggs
February 21st, 2011
3:26 pm
@SlimNU ~ I had a bottle of liquor in the car that I thought about smuggling into the club. I didn’t, but it fleetingly crossed my mind (lol).
SexyCool
February 21st, 2011
3:28 pm
As a frequent target of the madness, I tell you, it was downright offputting and extremely difficult to maintain the “bigger person” of it all. (I failed at that on more than one occasion. There are only so many insults you can ignore.)
DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"
February 21st, 2011
3:29 pm
My friend just called to say she and husband are on their way and bringing dinner catered by Alon’s Bakery. I haven’t eaten from there in years.
Raqi can you have them bring me a couple of their crab cakes and a some chocolate croissants from the bakery? Oh and grab a bottle of their Chilean merlot…it’s pretty good. I’ll hit them with the cash when I get paid. lol
DreamsM ~ he got 2 out of the 4.
Leggs 50%? That’s a failing grade. I like A’s, so I shoot for 100% all of the time. hahaha
Leggs
February 21st, 2011
3:31 pm
@DreamsM ~ I guess you better buy her more than 1 drink.
Raqi V
February 21st, 2011
3:33 pm
SexyCool, exactly. It went beyond just disagreeing on views of life experiences to folks just being insulting for no good reason. I don’t miss that at all.
DreamsMat, yeah from what I can remember eating from there the food is very good. Imma have to pass on the desserts though.
kimmie
February 21st, 2011
3:33 pm
SCool – That was a dark blog time. Glad it’s over! This thing is supposed to be fun way to pass the time and exchange ideas and banter! Not a place to come get slapped!LOL!!
DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"
February 21st, 2011
3:38 pm
DreamsM ~ I guess you better buy her more than 1 drink.
Leggs I can get the bootay without a drink. lol ok let me stop. Honestly, the first 3 things are usually enough. Good, genuine conversation and laughter go alot further than a drink with most.
SexyCool
February 21st, 2011
3:40 pm
DreamsMat, I agree. TheDude turned my head with a compliment, his conversation and he made me laugh. Hell, I am just realizing today that he did not buy me a drink that day. wow…(lol)