accessAtlanta

City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Dating: Is jealousy ever ok?

I sometimes like to ask men if they are the jealous type.  It’s just a random question I toss out during the getting to know you stage in dating. Of course, no man ever admits to being jealous.  Truthfully, only time and certain circumstances will reveal how they actually handle being jealous.  It’s a human emotion that we have all experienced at one time or another.

I’ve certainly given my date a raised eyebrow/dirty look when he didn’t correct an aggressive female shamelessly flirting in front of me.  He was clearly amused by the attention. It wasn’t until the shoe was on the other foot did he realize that being with a babe magnet has its moments.

Some people can tolerate more than others but the key is how you handle jealousy: Throw pouting fits in a juvenile way? Turn into a ragey, possessive nutbag that is a total nightmare to be around? I’ve actually seen varying responses and the one thing I realized is that the way you handle it separates the mature from the immature.

Listen, not one of us wants to be with someone that nobody else finds desirable.  We all want to be proud of who we are rocking on our arm, right? It’s perfectly normal that someone else will see what you in your date.   So what do you do when someone you are seeing attracts a lot of attention in public?

How do you handle it when the person you are dating has a slew of admirers that love to make their presence known? What happens when former flings, exes that won’t go away, not-so secret admirers of your date are constantly popping up, what do you do?

Is it ever ok to be a little jealous of the attention they receive?

Happy Friday! What are you planning for this beautiful weekend weather in Atlanta?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

249 comments Add your comment

For Real

February 18th, 2011
11:53 am

Me: It’s cheaper to keep her!!!

SexyCool

February 18th, 2011
11:54 am

Exactly, Rock and I really don’t get those people who say that a relationship shouldn’t be work. How else do you get a relationship to work if you don’t work at it? You don’t just happen to be a good employee. You work at improving the skills/knowledge required in your chosen career. You set goals and hold yourself to standards. You make an effort.

Well, good relationships don’t just happen either.

SexyCool

February 18th, 2011
11:56 am

Naw…ForReal…I’m good with the candy I got at the house. (lol)

Ya’ nut.

For Real

February 18th, 2011
11:57 am

Scool: “How else do you get a relationship to work if you don’t work at it? You don’t just happen to be a good employee. You work at improving the skills/knowledge required in your chosen career. You set goals and hold yourself to standards. You make an effort.” – you on point with that but one big excuse for not doing as you stated is LOVE will fix eva-rye-thang so I don’t have to work at it.

Simple Man!!!!

February 18th, 2011
11:57 am

Whats good peeps?? i see the Blog Boos are out in force and on point today!!!

“I do NOT have time for “ego-sitting”! Ball up and stop being a chick!”

Number one line of the day!!!

Ok….back to Lurking….

For Real

February 18th, 2011
11:58 am

So no candy huh? Well I happen to know where I can get my hands on some Subway coupons???

Raqi V

February 18th, 2011
11:59 am

Me, thanks for the recap.

Well there you have it. Just from what you were saying the other day about your marriage and intimacy going from what seems to be 10 to zero flat in a short number of years, something obviously changed for her. It may or may not have something to do with you but you did your part.

Saying you want too much from marriage sounds like a statement of someone wanting to make it be your fault or someone that has discovered that relationship is not what she wants. Maybe she didn’t properly count up the cost before accepting the ring. Or at all.

Blackfoote

February 18th, 2011
12:01 pm

Me:

You shouldn’t have left the premises…..now there is an opportunity for her to say abandonment……should have toughed it out on the couch or in another room.

After Noon:

Dan - Simply...Superior

February 18th, 2011
12:04 pm

@SC

Nope. Model, body, whatever.

I wouldn’t take notice

SlimNumeroUno

February 18th, 2011
12:05 pm

For Real – No need to be jealous about the sub coupon. You know I was going to give you 2 inches of it. After all, you should know I’m not the stingy type ;-)

Simple Man!!!!

February 18th, 2011
12:07 pm

I think the blog dudes need to hold in intervention and take “ME” out somewhere so that he can get his confidence back… Sounds like the wife is looking to take away the last of your manhood and I suggest you not let it go without a fight!!!!

kimmie

February 18th, 2011
12:09 pm

What’s up Gang? Off, working at home today!

Well being that me & my fiance’ are both hot, I think we handle other’s advances or flirting very well!! LOL!!! Just kidding. But really, while we would not be human if we didn’t get a twing, that’s just never been an issue with us. I lay back in the cut when women get a little too flirty and let him handle it. He the same with me. Me personally, I am confident and secure and I try to give my best to the relationship. The day my best is not enough, even after we marry, and he decides there’s someone else that can make him happier, he knows what he can do and I can do it too. Can’t stress myself out on it.

I have never tolerated guys that try to “make” me jealous. That’s a sure way to show me to the door. And some folks thrive on jealousy, they don’t feel someone “loves” them unless they react in a jealous rage to things. That’s just sad, but happen every day!

Raqi V

February 18th, 2011
12:11 pm

Still thinking about that statement “you want too much from marriage” after a number of years, that statement translates in my mind as “I have found something else I would rather be doing or I like doing better”.

Marriage is the ultimate commitment. The only entity were you promise to forsake all others. If that’s not giving of your whole self nothing is.

Purple Rain

February 18th, 2011
12:13 pm

Simple Man, I agree it sounds like he has lost his spine and is just second guessing himself. He needs to pray that he makes the right decisions and be the man he is supposed to be whether that involves making his marriage work or not.

Celisea

February 18th, 2011
12:13 pm

Busy today…have a 1:15 appt…when I come back my page shows page 1 but ya’ll are on there so if I miss anybody, not on purpose

Swiss/PR – Okaaay, if ya’ll say so

Raqi – You really believe me are oblivious because a woman is not attractive to them? I would think attractive or not, if a person if flirting you can still get a read on it. I know I can….had an old nasty bat watching me in the cafe last week…no matter which food counter I went to he was looking. Well wouldn’t you know, I pay for my food and getting napkins, salt, straw and turn around to walk away and he bumps into me frontal…and say “wooo, easy to bump into each other” nasty bat.

SexyCool

February 18th, 2011
12:13 pm

I’d be interested in hearing PoppaGrande’s legal advice in Me’s situation.

Purple Rain

February 18th, 2011
12:13 pm

What we hear and what is said is not always the same thing.

Celisea

February 18th, 2011
12:14 pm

I was saying I’m on page 1 ya’ll are on page 3…

Celisea

February 18th, 2011
12:15 pm

Okay, Imma have to read Me’s situation when I come back.

BlackMagicWoman

February 18th, 2011
12:19 pm

Thank you Simple Man…I aims to please! :lol:

SCOOL…I don’t think you know this girl. I had kicked her to the curb before I met you. But on a side note…girl who you talkin’ ’bout? :lol:

PURPLE…Me’s wife is playing a game. And he should not have to stay there and deal with that. Life is too short to be miserable!

Leggs

February 18th, 2011
12:22 pm

Coming from a woman, I agree with Blackfoote. As much as I hated my ex being in the other room, I knew I wasn’t going to leave and perhaps be charged with abandonment giving him a better legal fight than the one I had. However, I don’t know how long one must be gone for to stand on the grounds of abandonment. But, I do have one tip for you, do not change your “mailing” address.

Purple Rain

February 18th, 2011
12:22 pm

Celisea, are you one of those women who tell a man what he is thinking but the man tells you what he is really thinking and you still tell him he is wrong?

Celisea

February 18th, 2011
12:24 pm

PR – Celisea, are you one of those women who tell a man what he is thinking but the man tells you what he is really thinking and you still tell him he is wrong?

LOL Not at all. I believe men when they say what they think or feel but I just find it HARD TO BELIEVE that if someone pulled up their dress and showed you they aren’t wearing panties, if you said you didn’t see that. LOL

SexyCool

February 18th, 2011
12:25 pm

Don’t pay me no mind.

kimmie

February 18th, 2011
12:26 pm

Nasty bat – :lol:

Celisea – That’s hilarious! And no, I don’t believe for a minute dudes don’t notice when a chick is flirting! They may not notice subtle stuff, and especially when they are not looking for it. But that’s the way I would get a single guy’s attention without directly approaching or asking him out. I would flirt. And if he was interested, he definitely got the message. If not, we both kept it moving. It’s a dance both men and women know.

Purple Rain

February 18th, 2011
12:27 pm

Black, I just don’t think that “Me” is squeaky clean in the situation. Not saying he is or isn’t but we don’t know what transpired to get to this point he came on her and told his story about the lady in the club and kissing, but let’s be real he may have done other stuff and his wife found out or he could have been talking down to her etc, who knows and who knows the truth. I really doubt that we are getting the full story but that is just my suspicious nature. I am saying I could be wrong. But I will admit as men when there is a problem with a woman we don’t always paint the full picture then get around other women and try and play the “it’s not me it’s her card” in an effort to gain sympathy. Once again, I could be wrong…but I am not as wet behind the ears as some may think. Maybe I am not in a good mood today because it really bothers me when I hear a man whining and being wimpy leaving stuff open ended instead of taking charge, making strong decisions that will conquer the challenge that is presented.

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

February 18th, 2011
12:28 pm

“I just find it HARD TO BELIEVE that if someone pulled up their dress and showed you they aren’t wearing panties, if you said you didn’t see that. “

Come on, now C… Not all chics flirt as openly as BMW;-) :lol:

Simple Man!!!!

February 18th, 2011
12:29 pm

“LOL Not at all. I believe men when they say what they think or feel but I just find it HARD TO BELIEVE that if someone pulled up their dress and showed you they aren’t wearing panties, if you said you didn’t see that. LOL”

What???? He may have been looking at his phone, watching the TV behind her in the corner…..

Raqi V

February 18th, 2011
12:32 pm

Purple, mark your calendar because for the second time this week I am agreeing with you. Your 12:27 that is.

SexyCool

February 18th, 2011
12:34 pm

PR – I indicated as much when we talked about it earlier this week. It could be that she is holding on to some past issue, slight, problem, hurt or something that Me thinks he has atoned for and should be over by now, but she’s not. It seems that *some*thing happened to change the way she sees him. And I advocated him asking her (IF he doesn’t have some idea).

Because usually, when you have injured a person in a way that affects them profoundly, you know. You may not want to acknowledge that you know, but you do.

Purple Rain

February 18th, 2011
12:34 pm

Raqi, :) I thought I was alone.

Raqi V

February 18th, 2011
12:35 pm

How do you go from “she doesn’t want sex and no other problems exist” to “we separated” in only 3 days?

SexyCool

February 18th, 2011
12:36 pm

Um…okay, Dan….if you say so.

Purple Rain

February 18th, 2011
12:37 pm

SexyCool exactly. Me may think the relationship has moved on but his wife is thinking otherwise and he may just be back to his old behavior. Furthermore if you are having marriage problems you don’t work them out by going to the club without your spouse…wait until things are better to go out by yourself. Wait a minute am I being a player hater? I don’t mean to be I just take marriage very seriously.

Raqi V

February 18th, 2011
12:37 pm

Nah, Purple I am with you on this one. The first day conversations and comments was too lighthearted and jovial for a separation to have taken place so soon.

Blackfoote

February 18th, 2011
12:39 pm

Although amicably when I and my ex divorced, I left the house she re-married and is still leasing our former house today. Those knee jerk reactions do come with high price. I agree Purp we just can’t side with one side and not have heard the other.

SexyCool

February 18th, 2011
12:40 pm

Past infidelity? Dishonesty? Disrespect? Money issues? Lack of support? Lack of communication? Lack of trust? Verbal abuse? Physical abuse? Problems caused by family? Problems caused by children? Problems caused by work?

Leggs

February 18th, 2011
12:40 pm

@SexyC ~ the point Dan isn’t speaking on is that he may be looking you dead in your eyes talking with you and smiling but his peripheral vision is better than most peoples! He ain’t slick….you can look w/o turning your head (LOL).

SexyCool

February 18th, 2011
12:41 pm

Or…she could just feel like she’s done her part in the marriage. The kids are grown and gone. She’s wifed you for long enough and now…she just wants to coast.

Raqi V

February 18th, 2011
12:42 pm

Furthermore if you are having marriage problems you don’t work them out by going to the club

Or on a blog. There are a few women that I have had the pleasure of sharing with whose opinion I respect to the highest but what they say helps me see things better or gives me something to consider. I have much respect for these women and their comments but in the end I know how I have to deal in my house. I know the entire conversation and what it is I did or am doing wrong.

I hear the advice and opinions but only my husband and I can work it out.

Raqi V

February 18th, 2011
12:43 pm

SexyCool, exactly. The list is endless. I told him the other day it is always “somthing”. “Nothing” is never true.

Celisea

February 18th, 2011
12:44 pm

Kimmie – Exactly

Swiss/Simple Man – Ya’ll know I’m right :)

SexyCool

February 18th, 2011
12:44 pm

Could there be something that you *think* you got away with, but maybe she has known all along or somehow found out about?

Purple Rain

February 18th, 2011
12:45 pm

Celisea, I would look but would not think to much of it.

cba

February 18th, 2011
12:48 pm

We sold our house in 1999 to a single lady. We did a buy owners contract and when she signed it, my wife was out of town, she seem nervous. I thought it was because this was her first house but I also felt alittle vibe from her. Anyway, atleast two years after the sale, she would call and ask me to come over and take a look at something, hole in the wall, door sticking, just minor stuff. I ALWAYS TOLD MY WIFE when I would go over.
One time she offered me a coke and I accepted it and while I was patching the hole in the wall, she asked would I like something in the coke. I said no thanks, I headed to the gym. She said I know you have to go home to your wife and kid.
She calls to our house atleast once a year, asking for an invite. She called about six months ago and said we had mail at her house. Eleven years later!! I gave her our address and she mailed the junk mail to me. Whenever my wife sees her name on the caller ID, she says that your woman.
How bold can you freaking be.
Living in the ATL, you better have your ish solid because these people have no respect.
This is the worst for me but I could tell way more stories concerning men coming after her.

For Real

February 18th, 2011
12:51 pm

Me: Look here bruh, first thing first you got to man up and stop running. Which means take yo azz back home. Second, take inventory of the facts (not what you think) about what you are doing or not doing or have done and whether you want your wife or not. Third, if you want to communicate better with your wife a change of scenery is required. Somewhere relaxing, close and most important not over the top romantic. Remember y’all got issues to resolve and ain’t no amount of fuggin gon solve it. If she refuses to go then you have your answer and you should plan accordingly.

Celisea

February 18th, 2011
12:52 pm

PR – Not doing anything is better but you can’t say you didn’t see it right? That’s all I’m saying…SOMETIMES you can tell, it’s just pays off and works better for all parties to pretend not to notice…lol

Purple Rain

February 18th, 2011
12:52 pm

And another major difference Raqi is he went to the club and basically hooked up with a woman. LOL, that guy is full of it. Me, if you want some attention from the ladies here just say so and stop with all of the antics, we have some strong smart women on here. LOL Just follow my lead :)

Purple Rain

February 18th, 2011
12:53 pm

Celisea, I can tell if a woman moons me no problem. But I can rarely tell if a woman is flirting because I am not paying that much attention. If she moons me then flirts well hell I am on the way to the ATM!

Raqi V

February 18th, 2011
12:54 pm

I told the hub to come over here, lay down and take a nap because he looks a bit tired. He said he is not sleepy and he has some work he needs to get done. I asked him can he please come over and lay down with Lizzy and help keep her still so she will stop flailing her legs kicking me and hitting the wires until she falls asleep. How come it hasn’t even been 15 minutes and he is snoring like a buzzsaw and she is laying here still awake watching The Backyardigans?

Not tired huh? LOL