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Things to do before you get married?

Before you single life kicks the bucket, there are a few things that should probably be checked on off your list of things to do.  That’s right, a single life bucket list. Who wants to meet the one, settle down, and look back and regret not doing something?

Of course, your life doesn’t end just because you are married! It’s just that when you are single and free you can be a little reckless or daring.  Or you can be cautious and calculating.  That’s really the exciting thing, you can do what you want!

What are experiences you want to have before you get married? What do you think are the most important things single people should get to do before getting hitched?

Are there any misadventures you are relieved you got out of your system as a single person?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

323 comments Add your comment

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Y'all Are Kids

February 17th, 2011
7:24 am

Find someone that wants to do all the things you do when you’re single. Then it’s not like a death sentence. Me and my S.O. are honeymooning at Punkin Chunkin this fall! Her idea.

Just Slim

February 17th, 2011
8:14 am

Good morning,

Um, there isn’t anything that I want to do as a ’single’ person, that I wouldn’t do or couldn’t do as a married person. I’m with Y’all R Kids on this one…find someone who would be willing to travel, jump out of planes or whatever, with you. It’s important for couples to experience things together anyway.

Ricco

February 17th, 2011
8:27 am

For starters, have all of the sex that you can while you’re single/dating, because it doesn’t matter who or what she is when you were dating, she turns the switch to OFF after the ceremony.

Avatar

February 17th, 2011
8:32 am

I’ve noticed that the women on this blog think that it’s only the men that have issues and problems when it comes to relationships. Honey, that’s your first and biggest problem. Every man has his view and every woman has her view. The truth lies somewhere in the middle.

lucinda

February 17th, 2011
8:44 am

@Ricco
That’s rather jaded, don’t you think? Plenty of people have great sex lives when married. Sorry you aren’t one of them.

What to do as “single” before married? Date different people to be SURE you are marrying the right person for the right reasons. Of course, many people think they did, and it doesn’t work out, but at least you can do as much as you can to marry the right person.

Randyt (aka "tired of this coolie work, need to get on a plane somewhere)

February 17th, 2011
8:45 am

When I got married, my uncle told me, “you are tying a knot with your mouth, that both hands and both feet are going to have a hard time untying”. You can get married with just a preacher or a JP. Lawyers have to “assist” you on the other end. Cockroaches, maggots, divorce attorneys, and Washington staffers share a similar DNA string.

Dr. Sigmund

February 17th, 2011
8:46 am

Despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, I have not yet been able to answer the greatest question that has never been answered: What does a woman want? It could very well be that the conditions and variables for that answer change each and every six hours.

Randyt (aka "tired of this coolie work, need to get on a plane somewhere)

February 17th, 2011
8:46 am

(Now watch the next interesting person I meet be a divorce attorney or Washington staffer…ignore my last post ;-)

Da_Man!

February 17th, 2011
8:49 am

What are the things you do as a single person that can’t happen when you’re married??? I dunno … This almost sounds like a PASS to hit 1 of the skrippers at the Bachelor party. I would assume that any misadventures you want to get out your system happens well before you decided to get married, considering engagements last anywhere bewteen 6mths – 2 years.

Frazier Crane

February 17th, 2011
8:50 am

You cannot fall into a woman’s heart without getting within reach of her claws.

Randyt (aka "tired of this coolie work, need to get on a plane somewhere)

February 17th, 2011
8:51 am

Six hours seems a little (read “a lot”) too generous. I was thinking mid stream in a sentence sort of. Unfortunately, not only is it the thing that drives men totally crazy, it is also part of a woman’s allure (okay where is the Webster’s Collegiate, I need to look up “sadomasochistic” again to remind me of my place as a heterosexual male. The more confusing and exasperating a lady is, the more we sometimes want her). Maybe men ARE the screwed up ones.

Purple Rain

February 17th, 2011
9:03 am

This topic sounds like the thought process of someone who should not even be considering marriage.

mamiefone

February 17th, 2011
9:08 am

poor ricco!!! sounds like his wife has a new, bigger, better, and younger man! HAHAHAHAAH

Purple Rain

February 17th, 2011
9:09 am

I will be back this afternoon once the sillies have stopped.

Celisea

February 17th, 2011
9:09 am

Morning,

Why all the whining about women this beautiful morning? What’s up with that?

Randyt (aka "tired of this coolie work, need to get on a plane somewhere)

February 17th, 2011
9:12 am

Nahhhh, Celisea, women are great, truthfully…just confusing, that’s all.

Mr_NYC

February 17th, 2011
9:13 am

Good morning all
Sounds like the new movie Hall Pass

Fion

February 17th, 2011
9:13 am

Good brother Ricco, If you refuse to come inside, at least get yourself an umbrella while you’re out there in the RAIN.

Celisea

February 17th, 2011
9:16 am

Randy – Nahhhh, Celisea, women are great, truthfully…just confusing, that’s all.

I agree with everything except the confusing part :)

Y'all Are Kids

February 17th, 2011
9:16 am

See, I think everybody’s reading this wrong. WD talks about things to do while you’re “SINGLE”. Not “things to do while you’re engaged and fixin’ to be married that’ll get you in a heap of trouble anyway”.

Da_Man!

February 17th, 2011
9:25 am

@Y’all Are Kids – ok, well then answer the question …

What are experiences you want to have before you get married? What do you think are the most important things single people should get to do before getting hitched?

I’m just thinking there’s nothing I can do single that I can’t do married with the exception of sexing someone other than my future bride.

Leggs

February 17th, 2011
9:30 am

Good morning, everyone! This should be interesting.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE ONE AND ONLY JAILBIRD = MR. ME.LO!!! Hope you have a fantastic day!

Y'all Are Kids

February 17th, 2011
9:33 am

Da_Man – I hear you. Guys think that way. But if this question were directed at wimins (Sounds like it to me), who are always thinking about getting married, their answers would be different. Guys think about getting married 2 weeks before the wedding or as soon as she tells him she’s pregnant. Women think about getting married when they turn 8 until they are.

Your mileage may vary

Da_Man!

February 17th, 2011
9:43 am

@Y’all Are Kids – ok, as a woman …

What are experiences you want to have before you get married? What do you think are the most important things single people should get to do before getting hitched?

Dan - Simply...Superior

February 17th, 2011
9:43 am

There’s something to be said for “sowing [one's] oats”, but there’s also a place for sharing life experiences with the right person.

I would think that prior to marriage, the couple knows not only the past (good/bad), but the unfulfilled “wishes”.

I don’t expect my wife to be down for a lot, be she’s gotta be good with somma my freaky….else, why would we get married?

Leggs

February 17th, 2011
9:48 am

Yes indeed, Dan, both should know about the “unfilled wishes.” Great point.

Y'all Are Kids

February 17th, 2011
9:49 am

@Da_Man – I can’t think as a woman. I have great massive testicles that cloud my judgement. You do it.

But I did two things as a post college, pre-work thing that I thought I better get outa the way before I find someone to tolerate me. I walked the Appalachian trail and then joined the Peace Corps. After three years of that, I was able to commit my time to one woman. Ask my Ex-wife how that turned out…lol

Raqi V

February 17th, 2011
9:53 am

WiseDiva, I clearly understand this topic is meant to be a somewhat “fun” topic but I just want to say this. The first thing everyone needs to do before getting married is count up the cost of being married. Make sure it is what you want to do.

There was nothing left unchecked on my single life bucket list when I got married that I cannot do and/or have not done with my husband.

If you have the mindset of being wild and crazy still you probably should not be getting married. If having a one night stand with that hot bouncer at the club you frequent is on that checklist you are not ready to get married. IMO if there is anything in your mind that may cause inner resentment because you were not able to wildly do now that you are married do your future spouse a favor and don’t marry them.

When it comes to stuff like traveling and adventures I suggest marrying someone that like to do those things or is open to doing them with you. That’s stuff you can do together.

Da_Man!

February 17th, 2011
9:54 am

Ok we’re back on the sex “thing”, which leads me back to my assumption/question … Is this a PASS? b/c I’m technically not married yet so during the last days of being single I want to …

Let’s not forget, I may be engaged 6 mths, a year, maybe 2 yrs.

Skip

February 17th, 2011
9:57 am

How about just never get married? There is a reason the divorce rate is through the roof and that less people are getting married. It is a waste of time, makes most people miserable, and people cheat!

Y'all Are Kids

February 17th, 2011
9:59 am

The Pass is a myth. I know no woman that would give you a pass, let alone ever let you forget that you were unfaithful, even if she’d said, “G’head”. You might just as well get that out of your head before you PoP the question.

M. (pronouced M dot)

February 17th, 2011
10:01 am

Good day…

I have definately been doing alot before I even think of getting married. My top 5 things to do are to:

1. Travel a lot. Go on a 3 day weekend every month if you want to. The idea is to get alot of different experiences.
2. Go to Vegas and do a drinking, gambling and partying weekend binge.
3. Start a business or do something that you can take personal ownership over.
4. Splurge on yourself. Buy something that you really want (iPad, New Car, Home, just do it!)
5. Clear the air with any ex that is still on your mind. Im not big on closure but if this helps, do it.

Da_Man!

February 17th, 2011
10:04 am

@Y’all Are Kids – OK, I can understand working with the Peace Corps, which involves a commitment & will have you away from home for long periods of time. But hiking the Mountains … wifey has to allow some liberties that should not thrust a dagger in the relationship.

Plus, shouldn’t we be marrying someone with like interest. what if you meet your wife through the Peace Corp experience. Would she be open to accepting your extension while she fulfills her duties to that group & moves on?

M. (pronouced M dot)

February 17th, 2011
10:05 am

@Raqi

That is an excellent point you made about the wedding cost. I know when you get married, you are joined in every area, but I know a woman who has $80,000 in student loans. If you get married, fella, you will be taking on some of that debt. Whats worst was that she said she does not think she should contribute to the mortgage because the man is supposed to be the provider. I hope she likes the single life ;)

kimmie

February 17th, 2011
10:07 am

Morning!

Raqi, I agree with your post but I would even take it further. If you are still wanting to have a one-night stand with that hot bouncer, not only should you not be getting married, you should’nt even be getting engaged or dating someone seriously. You should do things like that when you are “between” relationships. How can you put your mind to committing to one person if you still have oats to sow? I have always felt you need to be married already in your mind when you get engaged, even though you haven’t taken your vows yet. Otherwise, I mean how can you go sleep with that stripper at the bachelor/bachelorette party? If so, you are definitely not ready to be in a committed relationship.

I have a friend from UGA that used to ride a motorcycle to get around. I ran into him a few years ago and asked him was he still riding. He said once he married & had kids the appeal to be a speed demon went away. He said putting his life at risk like he used to suddenly looked irresponsible because now he has other people depending on him.

So I say get daredevil-type stuff out of your system unless you meet someone that is cool with it.

Y'all Are Kids

February 17th, 2011
10:09 am

I didn’t meet anyone in the PC. Not for lack of trying though. As for hiking the AT. I knew guys that did it with S.O.’s at home, but 4-6 months is a long time to be gone. It’s just easier without any responsibilities back home.

Da_Man!

February 17th, 2011
10:13 am

So @ M(dot) Once you get married, you can’t …

1. Travel (alot would be relative)
2. Go to Vegas … drink, gamble, & party.
3. Start a business
4. Splurge on yourself
5. Clear the air with ex. (nothing wrong with that just as long as you’re both not nekkid).

Sounds like it’s going to be a great marriage?!?!?

Y'all Are Kids

February 17th, 2011
10:13 am

Kimmie said = “So I say get daredevil-type stuff out of your system unless you meet someone that is cool with it.”

This is a must. I ride motorcycles. My ex thought I would stop when I had a bad wreck. She was wrong and tried almost daily to make me give them up. I stopped for a little while, but only resented her all to hell, which eventually was the demise of the marriage. That and when I started riding again. My S.O. now also rides.

lucinda

February 17th, 2011
10:14 am

sex as many different kinds of people as you want to before you get married. Check out the asians, the latinos, the brothas, the white boys, the whatever!!! Then you not thinking about what you missing after you’re committed to somebody.

jmike

February 17th, 2011
10:15 am

backpack around europe with friends, go on lots of mini vacations, get rowdy, etc

TenderRoni

February 17th, 2011
10:16 am

The answer is pretty simple really…accomplish all the selfish actions and thoughts out, the ones that you don’t have any one to consider but yourself.

Once you get married, its not about you, it should be about ‘we’.

kimmie

February 17th, 2011
10:21 am

My S.O. now also rides.

Y’all – And that is the key. Otherwise there will be resentment. That is something I’ve always been careful of at the beginning, when choosing someone to date, much less marry. I ask myself “can I live with this hobby/habit/mindset/religion/etc that this person has”? That way I don’t have to try to expect someone to change and resent me. I accept you as you are, and if I can’t hang, I bounce. After we get married, it’s too late. I knew it going in.

Da_Man!

February 17th, 2011
10:23 am

TenderRoni – Whatever! I’m still going to be selfish, it’s just not going to be to the extreme. Trust me, I’ve been through it. After my divorce, there was a time where I thought I spent too much time doing the we and none of the me. People in my circle thought the same and saw how that was affecting me well before my the marraige ended.

Just Slim

February 17th, 2011
10:26 am

A chick giving her dude a ‘free pass’ to run amuck is equal to that all time favorite trick question, “Does it look like I’ve gained weight”…You lie and say no, then she gets on you for lying…You say yes to be honest then she gets upset that you hurt her feelings.

M. (pronouced M dot)

February 17th, 2011
10:28 am

@Da_Man!

Its not that you cant do any of those things…its just that you dont have as much if any pressure when you are single vs when you are married.

1. Travel-You can travel where you want no questions asked when you are single.

2. Go to Vegas … drink, gamble, & party.-When you are single, you dont have to explain why you were at the blackjack tables for 10 hours, had 15 beers, and stayed out until 8 am. You dont have to answer to anyone.

3. Start a business-When you are single, no one is going to get mad at you for spending to much time on your business like 19 hours and why you havent came to bed yet.

4. Splurge on yourself-When you are single, its you that you have to worry about so when you are taken care of you can do what you want to splurge on you.

5. Clear the air with ex-You can do this without any guilt on your Conscious.

Raqi V

February 17th, 2011
10:34 am

Mdot,

(Travel a lot.) If the woman you love shows no interest in traveling with you don’t marry her.

(Go to Vegas) If she is not willing to be you designated driver don’t marry her.

(Start a business) If she is not willing to support you in your business endeavors don’t marry her.

(Splurge on yourself) Hell man if you can’t buy a freaking iPad because you are married please don’t marry her. Cars and homes can be purchased together.

(Clear the air with any ex) If you are even thinking about an ex stop dating altogether. LOL

montyearelman

February 17th, 2011
10:35 am

Why on earth would any man want to get married? Unless she is filthy rich?

Da_Man!

February 17th, 2011
10:36 am

@M(Dot) Pressure = Henpecked.

Raqi V

February 17th, 2011
10:36 am

I have always felt you need to be married already in your mind

kimmie, exactly. People need to learn that saying those vows will not turn a switch on or off magically making your “Marriage minded”. If you are not there before buying or accepting the ring, you will not get there after the honeymoon.