Sex as a political weapon?
Did you hear about the proposed sex strike by the spouses of Belgian politicians? Apparently, desperate times calls for sex moratorium measures: “Belgian politicians have failed for eight months to form a government, and one senator has a unique solution: Have spouses withhold sex until a deal is struck.”
Although this suggestion was somewhat facetious, it’s not the first time this tactic has surfaced in political stalemate situations. I think it’s rather telling that sexual leverage has its place in political history and now in modern day times.
Do you think that how much we value sex has changed?
I know using sex as a weapon in a marriage brings huge implications and resentment, yet I hear about it happening all the time. Do you think it’s a viable solution to a couple’s problems, though?
I’ve heard men say that single women have “power” and can use sexual leverage in dating but what kind of impact does that really have on dating relationships? How does that help us build trust and get us closer to long lasting relationships? I mean, that is, after all, the goal of a lot of single men and women. Does sex really have to be a means to an end?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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352 comments Add your comment
Leggs
February 16th, 2011
3:22 pm
@Da_Man ~ too funny.
@DreamsM ~ I had to laugh at you too because if I was given the opportunity to do it
@Me ~ whatcha doing kissing this random woman anyway. You is married…
Randyt (aka "tired of this coolie work, need to get on a plane somewhere)
February 16th, 2011
3:24 pm
@Raqi, I agree with the woman on top (got that t-shirt
but “standing up in a hammock” where a little personal danger is added…now that is an adventure.
Purple Rain
February 16th, 2011
3:25 pm
Dreams, LOL only thing left then is men or horses.
That was “ME” who said it always has to be the man’s fault. Not me PLito, if you let a woman trick you into believing it is always your fault she will alway play the blame game with you. LOL
Leggs
February 16th, 2011
3:25 pm
Sheesh, meant to delete that sentence to you DreamsM…just disregard…{{whistling while kicking rocks down the street}}.
Purple Rain
February 16th, 2011
3:27 pm
ME, is married and kissing women a few times he does not know? You might get a fever blister and that would be hard to explain to the wife. Also have the decency to leave your wife before you look for falling in love elsewhere, you owe it to yourself, your wife and Ms Slobby Lips. Unless you all are swingers and just like to shag!
Me
February 16th, 2011
3:29 pm
Leggs, as far as the kissing…the restaurant wasn’t taking orders at home, so I went for take out. Probably wasn’t my best decision, but I wouldn’t trade it right now for the world.
Purple Rain
February 16th, 2011
3:29 pm
He threw the card away so that his wife would not find it.
Randyt (aka "tired of this coolie work, need to get on a plane somewhere)
February 16th, 2011
3:30 pm
In all seriousness for a brief moment, I just never could get really in to sex in a waterbed in the day. Couldn’t get friction, if heat wasn’t right it was too hot or too cold (and a cold azzed waterbed can chill you to the bone), hard to coordinate the motion, and maybe a bit of seasickness for the weak stomached ones. I tried, but could never get what I considered an A+…and I strive for performance perfection, just wired that way.
Da_Man!
February 16th, 2011
3:32 pm
Aaaaaah … Interesting point @PR. @ME have you suggested or dropped sutle hints about adding on 1 of her girlfriends (or any women). Give it a try … not much to lose.
Purple Rain
February 16th, 2011
3:32 pm
Randyt, water beds are not fun. Well not the soft ones, but if you take the sheets off and add some baby oil it is a totally different experience
Raqi V
February 16th, 2011
3:33 pm
RandyT, I hate waterbeds for all the reasons you mentioned and then some.
Purple Rain
February 16th, 2011
3:33 pm
Da_Man, it’s safe to say it’s probably not his first time getting loving away from home….or his wifes.
Dan - Simply...Superior
February 16th, 2011
3:35 pm
@Randy
Sex on a waterbed requires planning.
You use the frame for leverage and traction. And while I feel you on the “coordination” issue in the long run, the intial wave is created by the rock
Purple Rain
February 16th, 2011
3:36 pm
You have to flow with motion of the ocean. LOL I don’t mind water beds once you get the rhythm, and then you can get this whole opposite motion thing going. LOL
Randyt (aka "tired of this coolie work, need to get on a plane somewhere)
February 16th, 2011
3:36 pm
PR, though I agree with you totally re ME’s dilemma, I have to say I flew close to the flames when I was married. The wife was so cold, if she opened her legs a light would come on. Even if men won’t stray, the validation of their masculinity, when no valdiation is occurring at home, can make a ‘6′ look like a ‘10′ through blurred vision. Men need validation just as much as women…just not as vocal about it.
Leggs
February 16th, 2011
3:38 pm
@Me ~ have you tried this approach. Tell her when you want sex, that you need some tonite….she’s married to you so she has to give you some. Period!
If she doesn’t, let her know you got options. That should go over very well.
Purple Rain
February 16th, 2011
3:39 pm
Randyt, I agree. Some men won’t close the deal with sex outside of the home but they sure will enjoy the flirts and conversation if things are not right at home. Some men not all men. But I think that is the case with anyone
Purple Rain
February 16th, 2011
3:39 pm
Leggs, you want him to tell his wife that he has options? LOL
Randyt (aka "tired of this coolie work, need to get on a plane somewhere)
February 16th, 2011
3:40 pm
But if you do not get into rhythm, the man might break “a bone” or something. Man all of a sudden saying “ouch, dayum, that thing is not meant to be bent that way”.
Raqi V
February 16th, 2011
3:40 pm
You cannot get mutual rhythm on a waterbed. My man don’t need me moving away from him with every thrust. It makes for shallow diving. Pun intended.
Da_Man!
February 16th, 2011
3:41 pm
@ME – Us Fellas up here, Trying give you some good free advise … like a true “Homie”. Some of the post presented by the Ladies were sound advise, but remember, they women … it’s a woman holding out on you. Get it? Women on the same team …
Like i said earlier … Go out and smash another chick, feel guilty for a short period, cover your tracks then go home & CHILL!
Randyt (aka "tired of this coolie work, need to get on a plane somewhere)
February 16th, 2011
3:42 pm
Well, off to a meeting. Well at least it is late enough after lunch that I might be able to stay awake.
Me
February 16th, 2011
3:42 pm
To quell any “not his first time” talk, it was the first time my lips had touched any other woman since we started dating 9 years ago. I’m concerned that if something doesn’t happened and the situation presents itself, it may not be the last.
BlackMagicWoman
February 16th, 2011
3:44 pm
PURPLE…you so nasty!
SCOOL….sounds like a BMW night. I used to dance for my ex’s. I’m talking wigs, costumes and aliases!
And hell yeah…I kept the money too! I worked hard for it.
DREAMS…shhhhh! I’m trying to keep “sextra-curricular activites” on the low! Don’t be putting me on Front Street!
Randyt (aka "tired of this coolie work, need to get on a plane somewhere)
February 16th, 2011
3:45 pm
Oh and thanks Dan. I might ask for pointers some time if sex on a waterbed looks inevitable…although have to admit had some awesome times just saying to hellz with it, dragging the sheets off the bed onto the floor and making like monkeys all over the room.
Me
February 16th, 2011
3:45 pm
Da Man, no, I won’t do that. If it gets close to that, I’ll just call it a game and get the D. Then it’ll be Free at Last, Free at Last, Thank Gawd Almighty I am free at Last!
Randyt (aka "tired of this coolie work, need to get on a plane somewhere)
February 16th, 2011
3:45 pm
night y’all
Leggs
February 16th, 2011
3:46 pm
@Me ~ I do understand, unfortunately! Although it pains you right now, you were right to throw the card away. You must keep temptation at bay the best way you know how.
@PR ~ probably, but I would bet he threw it away so he wouldn’t go down that path because he knew in his heart of hearts he was going to go there!!!
Leggs
February 16th, 2011
3:49 pm
@PR ~ I hope every married woman knows her man always has options just like women always have options. It’s up to that individual to guage their own moral barometer.
Raqi V
February 16th, 2011
3:49 pm
But Da-Man, that still will not solve his problem with his wife. He is better off just leaving and freely having sex with someone else because he is going to want it again and again. Until he fixes what is wrong with his marriage things are not going to change under his roof. Sexing another woman is just going to get himself a year down the line in a life of cheating. He will be better off just divorcing and finding someone else.
Dan - Simply...Superior
February 16th, 2011
3:49 pm
@Randy
What are these “sheets” you speak of?
Raqi V
February 16th, 2011
3:56 pm
There are always options. The thing to being marriage is knowing and choosing not to tap into those options. Or they into you. Pun. And doing what you are supposed to do and need to do at home to keep those options out of your spouses mind.
Purple Rain
February 16th, 2011
3:56 pm
Leggs, yes but the obvious does not need to be stated to a spouse. “I have options” lol if that is said the relation is on the way if not already over.
Ladies is it a difference if you found out your husband only kissed a woman on the dance floor and then at her car rather than knowing he slept with her? I am thinking that the woman is not going to believe that he only just kissed but that he did much more.
Purple Rain
February 16th, 2011
3:58 pm
Waterbeds are only good for different variations of missionary positions. LOL
Da_Man!
February 16th, 2011
3:59 pm
@Raqi – Won’t solve his problem with his wife but damn sure won’t have the “Dusty D”. Divorce is a timely & costly process. Fill in the gaps in-between and be happy. He doesn’t have to go out & fall in love with another chick (which is likely since he’s already swapping saliva and don’t even know her name) … just get “some” and counsel/work better at/re-ignite his marriage.
Leggs
February 16th, 2011
4:00 pm
@PR ~ I disagree. Sometimes the “obvious” definitely has to stated. Some people actually miss the writing on the wall!
Raqi V
February 16th, 2011
4:00 pm
your husband only kissed a woman on the dance floor
A drug addict and alcoholic did not become so until getting that first high or taking that first drink. It matters. It matters much.
Before my husband married me, he sexed me. Before he sexed me, he kissed me. Before his kissed me, he flirted with me. It matters.
Celisea
February 16th, 2011
4:01 pm
Wow…I’ve missed a lot. I can’t read all but in skimming page, I’m agreeing whole heartedly on the 3 best positions. Top (me), top (you), behind. All that other stuff is acrobatics void of catching a good one…most times.
Me – Haven’t read all but it seems Da_Man might be leading you over a cliff…lol It seems better to guve it a serious go rather than cheat. That’ts a mindless cop out. Still love you Da_Man
Me – Work it out
Sassy Me :-)
February 16th, 2011
4:02 pm
Men need validation just as much as women…just not as vocal about it.
True…
Raqi V
February 16th, 2011
4:02 pm
Da-Man, what’s wrong with self pleasuring instead of cheating if getting off is all he wants? He said that other woman made him feel good. That my dear is the words of a man that will not stop at one lay. If that woman makes him feel good now and she gives him sex, he will not stop at one time because it’s more than sex that he is needing and feeling.
Purple Rain
February 16th, 2011
4:03 pm
Leggs, okay. Seriously you would be okay with you man/husband telling you he has options? If he felt his needs weren’t being met?
SexyCool
February 16th, 2011
4:04 pm
Okay, Da_Man, you trippin’. Overall, you’re telling this guy to go out and be unfaithful to his wife, but that he shouldn’t KISS her because she might have bad breath or cold sores?!?!?!?!?
Stop it, I say.
Raqi V
February 16th, 2011
4:05 pm
Yall know what feels better than any sexual pleasure or orgasm? It’s when my daughter runs in here like she just did coming home from sitter and greet me with a big smile like she has not seen me in weeks. Makes my heart feel joyous.
Da_Man!
February 16th, 2011
4:06 pm
@Celisea – Dude been hanging off a cliff for some time now. I’m just telling him it’s alright to let go. It’s just a 5ft drop.
and as for you still loving me … YES!!! 1 step closer. Great 4:01 post (top paragragh)!
Purple Rain
February 16th, 2011
4:07 pm
The orgasm feels great, but I like the whole act and the visual of everything.
Raqi V
February 16th, 2011
4:08 pm
Purple, I am forced to agree with you. I think. My husband telling me he has options sounds like a threat. If we aren’t getting along and sex is not happening in our bed I will already be aware of there being a problem. And that problem will more than likely be something more than just sex. I don’t take to well to threats.
Purple Rain
February 16th, 2011
4:08 pm
I missed the best positions conversation, But I like the top, being behind her and her on top, I like both of us spooning too
DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"
February 16th, 2011
4:09 pm
Dang I think I’m too young to have had sex on a waterbed. I think they went out of style before I was old enough to take advantage. Do they still even make waterbeds? I mean my Aunt and Uncle had a waterbed, but they also had bead curtains as the entrance to their living room and the plastic carpet that you roll over the rug with the pointy things on the bottom side. lol
DREAMS…shhhhh! I’m trying to keep “sextra-curricular activites” on the low! Don’t be putting me on Front Street!
BMW My bad. Let’s move this convo on over to Backstreet Alley. I’ll whisper…but you gotta come closer…
Da_Man!
February 16th, 2011
4:10 pm
Nah @SexyC, I DID encourage the cheat but thought it was odd that he slobbed down the random chick.
I’m encouraging the cheat within reason … it’s not like he said his wife was Perfect in every sense of the word and some of you guys even pointed out that she might have dealings with the pool boy. I’m just saying … “I Don’t See Nothing Wrong … With a lil Bump & Grind Baby …”.
Celisea
February 16th, 2011
4:11 pm
Da_Man – I think you’re riding the bad train today…lol He’s still married…for better for worse, so forth and so on. Bailing ain’t writtne. How ’bout you start over and come back tomorrow