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Is it love or lust?

It’s officially Valentine’s day and love is in the air. Well, more like in the restaurants, retail stores, and flower shops – but you know what I mean.   The day when love is on the minds of many people – single (who came up with Singles Awareness Day? I mean, really?) and coupled up people.

Last week we talked about the importance of passion in a relationship, especially if you want a long-lasting marriage. I often wonder how passion fuels the lust, that sometimes gets mistaken for love in the beginning.  How do you really know when you are falling in love or lust with someone?

What do you think the difference is between love and lust? Have you felt as if you have been in love and/or lust? Do you think the two “feel” the same or is there a notable difference?

Have you ever thought you were in love, only to discover later that you were mistaking it for lust? What did you do?

Happy Valentine’s Day to everyone!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

388 comments Add your comment

[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Tiffany Miller, Atlanta Real Time. Atlanta Real Time said: Is it love or lust?: It’s officially Valentine’s day and love is in the air. Well, more like in the restaurants,… http://dlvr.it/GXjR8 [...]

SlimHearted

February 14th, 2011
8:10 am

Good morning and Happy Show Your Love Some Love Day!

SlimHearted - Man, I love lovin'!

February 14th, 2011
8:17 am

As far as lust versus love, my opinion would be that lust is purely a physical entity…a desire and excitement to please self whilst using someone else as an aide. lol Love on the other hand transcends onto a mental & emotional level. It is more self-sacrificing for the desire to ensure the person on the other end is happy, better off, nurtured, etc. Love is that thing that would make you want to nurse the person back to health if they were sick or upset….Lust would have you tell them to call you when they were better. No need of both of yall getting sick, having them breathing all on you while in the midst of adult horizontal tangoing lol

Truthhurts

February 14th, 2011
8:30 am

After two tries at love and getting married, I’ll stick with lust from here on out. For some reason, women don’t feel lust any more once the ring is on the finger. Lust in a relationship is like oil in a car. It isn’t the only thing that the car needs, but it won’t go very far without it.

Simple Man!!!!

February 14th, 2011
8:38 am

Happy Valentines Day to all the Blog ladies…..I sincerly hope that your hearts and minds are filled with all of the love you wish for!!!

SlimHearted - Man, I love lovin'!

February 14th, 2011
8:39 am

‘Lust in a relationship is like oil in a car. It isn’t the only thing that the car needs, but it won’t go very far without it’

TH – Um, as sad as your post is, I do like the way you put that line though. But I guess we use the term Chemistry or X-factor in place of your ‘lust’.

Mi Amor

February 14th, 2011
8:40 am

I need both love and lust. Just love isn’t enough and just lust isn’t eanough. I work hard to stay in shape and look nice. I want my man to truly love me, but I also need a healthy dose of lust from him. Just plain love becomes boring as does lust without love behind it. I have bushels of love to give and if you are the object of my lust, there is no mistaking it, either.

Sweet Pea~Happy V Day!!

February 14th, 2011
8:52 am

Good Morning All!

What do you think the difference is between love and lust?

Of course they are different, Lust is an ignition of attraction and desire to b.e.d. another without any means of substance. Love is something that is heartfelt where you’ve gained trust, understanding, and a desire to want more from a person than the physical aspect. You make sacrifices and complement each other.

Sweet Pea~Happy V Day!!

February 14th, 2011
8:57 am

@SlimHearted~ Chemistry or X-factor in place of your ‘lust’.

I totally agree.

Leggs

February 14th, 2011
9:01 am

Good morning! Hope you all enjoy such a beautiful weekend.

Lust will fuel one’s desire to move into love! Love cannot sustain itself w/o lust, passion, desire and pure delight in being with that person, among other attributes.

AmazonRed™ - XOXO &

February 14th, 2011
9:12 am

Happy Valentines Day everyone!

Lust is easy. Love is what happens when you sort through the lust and find the substance underneath!

Simple Man!!!!

February 14th, 2011
9:12 am

Morning Leggs!!! How are you Darling???

Leggs

February 14th, 2011
9:14 am

@SimpleM ~ I am good, hope you’re doing well.

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY TO ALL!!

Sweet Pea~Happy V Day!!

February 14th, 2011
9:15 am

@Leggs/Mi Amor~ A combination of love and lust can certainly create bliss!!

OhMyGod!

February 14th, 2011
9:15 am

Love, affection, and devotion all mean a deep and emotional regard, usually for another person. Lust (in this instance) means intense sexual desire or appetite. Two totally different emotions.

Dan - Simply...Superior

February 14th, 2011
9:16 am

Happy Valentine’s Day folks

Dan - Simply...Superior

February 14th, 2011
9:16 am

Happy Valentine’s Day folks

Simple Man!!!!

February 14th, 2011
9:17 am

Whats Good ARED??? Hope you had a wonderful weekend….. :)

AmazonRed™ - XOXO &

February 14th, 2011
9:21 am

Morning Simple Man, happy valentines day!

Randyt (aka "tired of this coolie work, need to get on a plane somewhere)

February 14th, 2011
9:25 am

It is hard to totally separate the two…especially into a relationship. I once heard that a woman needs to feel loved to want sex, and a man needs sex to feel loved. Since I have given up trying to get into a woman’s head, I can only address the men’s part which I think is true. Woman sometimes think that cooking, cleaning, being a good arm ornament, great mother, etc. is their way of showing love. Unfortunately for men a woman can be the perfect wife in every other way, but if she does not convey to him that he is desirable, then the other attributes tend to get minimized. A man’s ego is the most fragile thing on Earth, in spite of all the macho bs.

The biggest problem I have run into over my dating years, is allowing sex to enter the equation way to early. Up until “the do” is introduced, a man (or at least me) is truly wanting to get to know the lady. Once sex is introduced, then for the guy it tends to become all about when can we do it again. Good sex is an addiction every bit as strong or stronger than cocaine.

Sex ALWAYS changes the dynamics of a relationship. It is what it is.

LaVerne Mattox

February 14th, 2011
9:43 am

Love is meeting someone on the playground at 10 years of age and still being in love at age 60. Love you with all of my heart and yes you still look 11 to me….

Simple Man!!!!

February 14th, 2011
9:51 am

Wow…I am reading all of the comments today and I am impressed with the “power” of love…..Gotta admit, not sure If I a buying it….Seems to me that love is kinda like a few stiff drinks….In the short term, It makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, but at some point the high is gone and you don’t quite remember what was so great about it.. Now if that is the case, give me LUST!!! at least that way I know am not blinded by whats happening and beat alll to hell when its over…..

Fion

February 14th, 2011
9:53 am

“How do you really know when you are falling in love or lust with someone?”

What is your motivation? Lust takes. Love gives.
Are you a Taker or a Giver?

Leggs

February 14th, 2011
10:02 am

I just received 2 dozen yellow, white, peach and red roses. Card just said “Happy Valentine’s Day because you are Beautiful.” The only admirer I thought sent them said he didn’t when I called and asked. That was funny. The other person I thought of is my ex-husband! Waiting for him to return my call. I hope it wasn’t him, but I really think it was. Phooey!

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

February 14th, 2011
10:03 am

Happy Valentine’s Day to all the blog queens. I hope you get all the love (or lust) you can stand today. ;-)

TenderRoni

February 14th, 2011
10:06 am

Happy V day to all the menfolk,

The difference between love and lust, love is an unconditional intention. I love not based on some condition, but because I accept you. And my intention, is to decide everyday to show love.

Lust is temporary, it will come and go.

@Fion- I agree with your post.

AmazonRed™ - XOXO

February 14th, 2011
10:11 am

I just received 2 dozen yellow, white, peach and red roses.

That’s wonderful. You deserve them!

Gwinnett

February 14th, 2011
10:12 am

Love or Lust…..hmmmm arent they both good??

Leggs

February 14th, 2011
10:13 am

Awwww, thank you ARed!

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

February 14th, 2011
10:14 am

Morning, folks… Happy VD to all the ladies… Er, wait… maybe I should spell that all the way out… oh well… :lol:

“What do you think the difference is between love and lust?”

Lust = Ex: sprouting wood at the mere thought of that booty…

Love = Ex: taking care of her 24/7 when she’s sick & rank & you know you’re not getting any…

And you need a healthy dose of both, IMO…

“Have you ever thought you were in love, only to discover later that you were mistaking it for lust? What did you do?”

Yes… Shrugged & kept humping… :lol:

SlimHearted - Man, I love lovin'!

February 14th, 2011
10:19 am

Leggs – sounds like a boootiful bouquet…Peach, white & red sounds like a great break from the normal red.

Marcus

February 14th, 2011
10:20 am

White people are in it for the love, blacks are in it for the lust.

Simple Man!!!!

February 14th, 2011
10:23 am

“White people are in it for the love, blacks are in it for the lust”

Ok…Who let this dumbass in the building????

Marcus

February 14th, 2011
10:24 am

Its true, that’s why they have so many baby daddies.

Rell

February 14th, 2011
10:24 am

Happy lovers day to all

dan

February 14th, 2011
10:24 am

“White people are in it for the love, blacks are in it for the lust.”

So what if you’re mixed?

dan

February 14th, 2011
10:26 am

I have the perfect idea for your loved one. It’s great for all occasions!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WhwbxEfy7fg

Marcus

February 14th, 2011
10:26 am

If you’re mixed, you are just screwed

Leggs

February 14th, 2011
10:26 am

They’re gorgeous, SlimHearted.

BlackMagicWoman

February 14th, 2011
10:33 am

V-day is 1 day designed by retail to make mass fools come up out of their pockets at the same time to cause a surge in earnings in the earlier part of the year. I call it a head start on the fiscal year that just happens to fall around tax return time? Conspiracy…I thinketh so!

Hows about I LOVE my money and keep it in my bank account? Happy V-day to my funds! I love you enough to hold onto you! Or at least spend it on someone really deserving…ME!

Signed,
The Anti-Cupid

QUESTION: Who in the hell left the gate open? The troll got in and he needs to be taken out to pasture! :roll:

AmazonRed™ - XOXO

February 14th, 2011
10:35 am

It would have been really cool if everyone just ignored the troll. Oh well.

Leggs

February 14th, 2011
10:35 am

@dan ~ what would you suggest for same sex couples (lol)???

SlimHearted - Man, I love lovin'!

February 14th, 2011
10:38 am

Well last time I checked, Ared and myself were black and have a ZERO count on the baby daddy scale. But let you tell it, my 25% white probably saved me from Baby Daddy Doom…riiiiiiiggght! :roll:

Leggs

February 14th, 2011
10:41 am

“Love is what remains long after the oils emanating from a lustful encounter have been wiped off!” – hmmmmmmm

Marcus

February 14th, 2011
10:41 am

It sure did Slim, and that means you are 25% as smart as us white people too.

Leggs

February 14th, 2011
10:44 am

Keep your eyes straight ahead…do not look to your side…do not look behind you…stay looking ahead!!!!

SlimHearted - Man, I love lovin'!

February 14th, 2011
10:45 am

Marcus – thank you for validating who I am…I was totally lost until today.

Leggs- That sounds just wrong…lol :shock:

Mean as hell...

February 14th, 2011
10:46 am

Marcus, I am black and if not for the pull out and spray method, me and your mom may have had another kid to prove your point!!!!

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

February 14th, 2011
10:46 am

Leggs — Did you just say love was jizz residue? :shock: :lol:

BlackMagicWoman

February 14th, 2011
10:47 am

ARED…do you have that Anti-D0uchbag spray with you? I need it….all of a sudden this blog just got that “not so fresh feeling”! :lol: