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Is it love or lust?

It’s officially Valentine’s day and love is in the air. Well, more like in the restaurants, retail stores, and flower shops – but you know what I mean.   The day when love is on the minds of many people – single (who came up with Singles Awareness Day? I mean, really?) and coupled up people.

Last week we talked about the importance of passion in a relationship, especially if you want a long-lasting marriage. I often wonder how passion fuels the lust, that sometimes gets mistaken for love in the beginning.  How do you really know when you are falling in love or lust with someone?

What do you think the difference is between love and lust? Have you felt as if you have been in love and/or lust? Do you think the two “feel” the same or is there a notable difference?

Have you ever thought you were in love, only to discover later that you were mistaking it for lust? What did you do?

Happy Valentine’s Day to everyone!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

388 comments Add your comment

Da_Man!

February 14th, 2011
2:15 pm

Kimmie – The fact still remains that he is doing something, I guess what I was really trying to get at the irony (with SOME women) that V-day should be extra-special. I have no problem with that expectation but am I wrong for thinking it should something done extra-special when it comes to the bedroom theatrics on V-day?

SexyCool

February 14th, 2011
2:15 pm

I’m just saying…that…some of what men (and women) are always bmc’ing about in life and relationships is based on standards that they have set, expectations that they have created and/or behaviors that they have allowed.

Da_Man!

February 14th, 2011
2:18 pm

SC – Usually because that bag of tricks has a lock and the key is more often a nice little something from the Mall.

SexyCool

February 14th, 2011
2:18 pm

Why can’t you get extra special on Friday night or on Sunday morning? Why does it have to only be relegated to days/occasions that someone else decided for you that was special?

Fion

February 14th, 2011
2:21 pm

@ Randyt

Are you taking “Liberties” with established?

AmazonRed™ - XOXO

February 14th, 2011
2:21 pm

Randy’s in looooove, Randy’s in looooooove….!!!

SexyCool

February 14th, 2011
2:21 pm

DA – you keep going around in the same circle. “Because I bought her something extra, she has to do something extra.

My dude can get extra just because he is breathing. He does so much for me on a consistent basis that a new dress or a bottle of perfume is not going to make me turn cartwheels.

I don’t phfck for purses. (Another Basketball Wives reference – lol.)

Da_Man!

February 14th, 2011
2:23 pm

SC – I don’t give out the “extra-special” label. Women do … That’s right I said it, Women do! If it was up to me extra-special would be 8 days a week, but my compromising side settles for my Birthday, V-day & Father’s Day (glad I got some kids or I’d be short a day).

SexyCool

February 14th, 2011
2:23 pm

DA – Really, though….I’m just messing wit’cha, dude. I really do get where you’re coming from. I just like the debate.

Leggs

February 14th, 2011
2:25 pm

@RandyT ~ that’s a good example of lust right off the bat.

Fion

February 14th, 2011
2:25 pm

@Randyt
If you are, then that’s like having the shopping cart half full of groceries and deciding you want to go back for Cantalope.
You’ve established a relationship with the woman’s teenage daughter already.

Da_Man!

February 14th, 2011
2:25 pm

SC – I know … love it too. Makes my cubicle hostage day a bit more entertaining.

SexyCool

February 14th, 2011
2:26 pm

Well…dern…I typed ri.dic.ulous and got sent to moderation. (lol)

Simple Man!!!!

February 14th, 2011
2:26 pm

OK…Randy….Sounds like she is worthy of the investmenton the surface…Why not take some time to get to know her..In all likelyhood, she is not looking ot make you a “adopted baby-daddy”….But If you still wanna run the other way, have her call me…..Like Trick Daddy says.” Simple Loves the kids” LOL

kimmie

February 14th, 2011
2:27 pm

Da Man – I get what you are saying and what SCool said in her 2:18. Do what works for the two of you in your relationship. If you two have it understood that on these special days you shower her with roses and she showers you with “extra”, then what’s the harm? But what if you were having financial problems and could only get her one rose? Will she be understanding or will she pout? If she’s still cool & still give you what you desire, you’ve got a winner!

I LOVE chocolate. So much that I told one guy I dated I didn’t care about flowers or dinner or anything else. As long as he gave me chocolate candy like he did one V day that was spectacular, it was all good!! And it wasn’t even the most expensive, it was just so delicious!

Leggs

February 14th, 2011
2:28 pm

@SexyC ~ guess you forgot that word was banned!

cba

February 14th, 2011
2:28 pm

Off Topic: I hope one of Tiger’s jump-offs send him a V gift. Damn, brother world is crashing underneath him. Man get fined for spitting on course. Baseball players scratch and dig all the time.

SexyCool

February 14th, 2011
2:28 pm

What I said was….

Not “Women” – marketing and ad campaigns call those days “extra-special”.

Hell, it was a marketing executive that came up with the ri.dic.ulous rule that engagement rings should cost three months salary. Why? To create an unreal expectation that would entice people to spend more money on their products.

Simple Man!!!!

February 14th, 2011
2:29 pm

But not in a Eddie Long kinda way…. ( gotta make that clear)

SexyCool

February 14th, 2011
2:30 pm

I just refuse to fall for the hype.

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

February 14th, 2011
2:30 pm

“Why can’t you get extra special on Friday night or on Sunday morning?”

I gave Mrs. Swiss the “extra special” on Friday night, twice Saturday night and again on Sunday morning.

:-D

SexyCool

February 14th, 2011
2:32 pm

Simple – LMAO – hilarious.

Leggs

February 14th, 2011
2:34 pm

@cba ~ looks like Tiger has aged considerably.

Dan - Simply...Superior

February 14th, 2011
2:34 pm

@SC

The attempt to divest someone of the artifically imposed notions that they have internalized as core values, is a wasted effort.

Let those that can, see; pray for the truly blind and KIP.

Celisea (free Me-lo)

February 14th, 2011
2:36 pm

cba – Tiga should have thought of the repercussions before jumping in his bag of tricks with all those tricks. Sometimes the fallout is much more severe than realized. And trust when the white man is funding, one step to the left and they’ll quickly remind you where you stand and how they REALLY feel about your black azz. Tiga might not consider himself a black man but I bet he feels like one…lol Too, folks still don’t smile on black men marrying white women so the first opportunity to hit where it hurts, it’s gonna happen. Sticking everything that’s got a faint pulse, all because you can when really just a hint of discipline and “just say no” could have landed him on some distant island right about now laid back with his wife.

Happy V-day Tiga :)

BlackMagicWoman

February 14th, 2011
2:45 pm

I wonder….6-8 weeks from now….how many rabbits will have died!!! No wonder there are so many early December Sags. Our parents were being nasty on V-day! :lol:

SexyCool

February 14th, 2011
2:46 pm

If you know anyone who is a member of Delta Community Credit Union who has a relative that is a high school senior going to college this fall, DCCU has an essay contest that is good for one of three $5,000 scholarships. The deadline to enter is April 15, 2011. Check out their website.

Da_Man!

February 14th, 2011
2:46 pm

Wow … mention Tiger & Celisea will get “Al Sharpton” on that azz!

Let’s see what happens if we mention Kobe Bryant or Charles Barkley???

Celisea (free Me-lo)

February 14th, 2011
2:50 pm

Hush Da-Man…lol I just typed that cause it seems there was a bit of “empathy” in cba’s post. Heck you ain’t gotta be famous, at some point you just know better. When you know better….act accordingly. No Al Sharpton here…I could go on and on to that character but I won’t. It’s a character thing not a “cheating” thing :) ….back to work

AmazonRed™ - XOXO

February 14th, 2011
2:51 pm

RandyT – I don’t think she should get knocked for adopting. That’s such a noble thing.

If she had a couple of baby daddies…that’d be different. :lol:

kimmie

February 14th, 2011
2:51 pm

Randy – Go for it. Don’t know how many times I here where a dude didn’t want a woman with young kids. But they made the exception and married her. And they are happy!

She sounds like a winner – and compassionate too!

cba

February 14th, 2011
2:51 pm

Leggs, I have noticed that also. Stress can be a b!tch.
Celisea, I have to agree with you.
I heard last week on the Boortz show that Tiger went to vist his kids and the ex had some company.
I hope this doesn’t turn into OJ, part II.

AmazonRed™ - XOXO

February 14th, 2011
2:52 pm

No wonder there are so many early December Sags. Our parents were being nasty on V-day

:twisted:

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

February 14th, 2011
2:55 pm

Dang, women don’t like teddy bears? And what’s wrong with the Universoul Circus?!? I like the Universoul Circus…more than Ringling Brothers and Cirque du Soleil. Oh and is someone giving out special M&M’s? Lastly, Tiger just shouldn’t have gotten married. Then he could have lived the Derek Jeter life with no backlash.

AmazonRed™ - XOXO

February 14th, 2011
2:55 pm

My friend just reminded me that two years ago this time…we were in Paris! I’ve gotta get back there!

Da_Man!

February 14th, 2011
2:56 pm

cba – what a way to say OJ was really GUILTY. “if it doesn’t fit, you must acquit …”

Celisea (free Me-lo)

February 14th, 2011
2:56 pm

cba – I hope this doesn’t turn into OJ, part II.

Let’s hope not

Randyt (aka "tired of this coolie work, need to get on a plane somewhere)

February 14th, 2011
2:57 pm

% Fion … could you elaborate. I’m thick today.

@ AR Hey, I fall in love two or three times a week, (or on topic, is that just lust?) ;-)

Leggs

February 14th, 2011
2:58 pm

First thing I thought of with the spitting incident is if he was still in his prime, it probably would have been overlooked. However, a black man spit is reprehensible in some places. As though our saliva is different from theirs. Tiger has felt the foot of opprehension like he never has in the past.

He’s going to find a nice African American to tame his wild behind! Haaa, I doubt it.

Celisea (free Me-lo)

February 14th, 2011
3:01 pm

Enter your comments here

cba

February 14th, 2011
3:03 pm

Da_Man!, did I say guilty?? ;-)

Celisea (free Me-lo)

February 14th, 2011
3:03 pm

He’s going to find a nice African American to tame his wild behind

Imma bet he’s gonna take the “sista” route the next time around.

Da_Man!

February 14th, 2011
3:03 pm

The irony is those chicks probably don’t want Tiger now that he’s he un-attached. With hella spousal & child support he still PAID!!! made millions last year. But typically women don’t want the loner, why is that???

Randyt (aka "tired of this coolie work, need to get on a plane somewhere)

February 14th, 2011
3:04 pm

@ AR, I love Paris. I was there last April and really wish I could have hung there for a month or two just to totally embrace the feeling and atmoshere there. I like Rome, love Barcelona, but French pastries, great wine, elegant ladies everywhere with a wild look in their eyes. It doesn’t get any better (except for the Romanian gypsies trying to bum money from an American, that is a pain).

kimmie

February 14th, 2011
3:09 pm

Da Man – He still won’t have any trouble getting women. None at all.

Leggs

February 14th, 2011
3:11 pm

@kimmie ~ his new problem will be finding women that won’t run to the tabloids and sell a story on him.

kimmie

February 14th, 2011
3:13 pm

Leggs – I bet his next woman will be plain and unattractive. Somebody just happy to be with him. He won’t have any trouble with her being discreet.

SexyCool

February 14th, 2011
3:13 pm

Leggs – I agree with you. I would think Eldridge would be a lot less trusting of women now.

Da_Man!

February 14th, 2011
3:14 pm

The only thing Tiger can get right now is a super gold-digger or a tranny. That’s just how his luck is now. Although, He can still shoot a mean 18 holes, don’t care what those commentators (haters) say.

Randyt (aka "tired of this coolie work, need to get on a plane somewhere)

February 14th, 2011
3:15 pm

Re Tiger, someone here at my office said that while he was in Dubai, he got paid 56 million for making some commercials for one of the royalty’s commercial/residential developments. Must be nice.