accessAtlanta

City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Is it love or lust?

It’s officially Valentine’s day and love is in the air. Well, more like in the restaurants, retail stores, and flower shops – but you know what I mean.   The day when love is on the minds of many people – single (who came up with Singles Awareness Day? I mean, really?) and coupled up people.

Last week we talked about the importance of passion in a relationship, especially if you want a long-lasting marriage. I often wonder how passion fuels the lust, that sometimes gets mistaken for love in the beginning.  How do you really know when you are falling in love or lust with someone?

What do you think the difference is between love and lust? Have you felt as if you have been in love and/or lust? Do you think the two “feel” the same or is there a notable difference?

Have you ever thought you were in love, only to discover later that you were mistaking it for lust? What did you do?

Happy Valentine’s Day to everyone!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

388 comments Add your comment

SlimHearted - Man, I love lovin'!

February 14th, 2011
1:01 pm

I’ve never bought one of those side-road holiday baskets…I like to make them myself, personalizing it with items specific to the person on the receiving end.

Leggs

February 14th, 2011
1:02 pm

@SexyC ~ speaking about those baskets. I know a guy who walks around the club selling holiday related baskets. A few years ago he calls me up saying he has a gift for me for V-Day. I didn’t want to be rude, but told him if it’s one of the baskets he sells in the club to not waste it on me and get the $$ for it because there’s nothing in there I would want. A little callous, sure, notheless honest. I didn’t want to invite him over and feign appreciation for such a tacky basket.

SexyCool

February 14th, 2011
1:03 pm

Da-Man – your wife may LOVE the basket. I am just speaking for MYSELF.

And then too…in keeping with the “something is better than nothing” theme that some have espoused, at least it’s something.

Leggs

February 14th, 2011
1:04 pm

I know, I know. I was heartless!

SexyCool

February 14th, 2011
1:04 pm

Oh…and like kimmie, I’m a grown @ss woman. Do not buy me a teddy bear.

Simple Man!!!!

February 14th, 2011
1:06 pm

Damn Leggs, was the basket tacky because of the cheap Easter grass or because of the noisy ass plastic wrapping??? :)

Da_Man!

February 14th, 2011
1:06 pm

SC – You dam skippy Imma be upset. on V-day I want Cirque du Soleil not Ringling Bros. That’s what I bring to the table.

SexyCool

February 14th, 2011
1:07 pm

If you *really* bought a basket off the side of the road, you better get ready for UniverSoul.

Leggs

February 14th, 2011
1:08 pm

@SimpleM ~ BOTH. Not only that, if you’re going to give a woman a basket make it specific to her. I’m not like the women at the club. I don’t need a little white teddy bear with a red heart in the front to place on my dresser admiring it thinking you give a damn about me.

Simple Man!!!!

February 14th, 2011
1:09 pm

Da man….Be careful, she might forget and you end up with Univer”Soul”…. LOL

Da_Man!

February 14th, 2011
1:09 pm

Noooooooo. Not the Soul Circus. I think I can make it to Kay Jewelers before I get home.

Simple Man!!!!

February 14th, 2011
1:10 pm

But Leggs, what else are they gonna do with the bath beads they got from Dollar General????

Da_Man!

February 14th, 2011
1:13 pm

Simple Man – Don’t hate on the Bath Beads … I did that basket a few years ago & dam near got “Man of the Year”!

Leggs

February 14th, 2011
1:14 pm

OMG, :lol: :lol: :lol: seriously laughing at you SimpleM!

Leggs

February 14th, 2011
1:15 pm

@Da_Man ~ again, you made the basket specific to her. Not any ole woman coming in the front door or out the back door of a club!

Simple Man!!!!

February 14th, 2011
1:16 pm

Da man…Ok….LOL…. If you tricked your girl into being down with the Calgon, then you REALLY are the man of the year!!!!

Fion

February 14th, 2011
1:17 pm

@Dan, let me right that down!

Da_Man!

February 14th, 2011
1:20 pm

Simple Man … I personalized it like Slimhearted. 1st I took off the price tag then I tore a small hole & stuck in some Juicy Couture. Had that basket looking like it was straight from Macy. I was on a roll then. Haven’t topped that 1 yet.

Fion

February 14th, 2011
1:21 pm

I meant Write. That will teach me. I need to pay attention. Multi-tasking is tough today.

Randyt (aka "tired of this coolie work, need to get on a plane somewhere)

February 14th, 2011
1:23 pm

I think the dude ought to be really considerate and just buy a $100 gift card from Starship Enterprises!!! Now that is romantic!!!

(just kidding, but would be funny to see the look on a lady’s face)

Purple Rain

February 14th, 2011
1:26 pm

I’ve spoken on love or lust on here.

Valentines day is no different than any other day, so I do not put an emphasis on it and she doesn’t expect me to. I always do random gestures of love and appreciation. :)

Da_Man!

February 14th, 2011
1:29 pm

Awwwww Man … Purple Rain has gotten “Banana’d in the tail pipe”. It’s going to come back to haunt you one day. One of those nasty disagreement days.

SlimHearted - Man, I love lovin'!

February 14th, 2011
1:31 pm

‘what else are they gonna do with the bath beads they got from Dollar General????’

OMG, I think i just snotted on myself. :lol: Have her azz itching and breaking out into hives.

‘I personalized it like Slimhearted. 1st I took off the price tag then I tore a small hole & stuck in some Juicy Couture. Had that basket looking like it was straight from Macy’

Da Man – Not quite what I meant but I must say there is a loophole to everything i suppose. And Juicy Couture is my shizzle.

Da_Man!

February 14th, 2011
1:34 pm

SlimHearted – “Loophole”??? That is definitely male ingenuity.

BlackMagicWoman

February 14th, 2011
1:35 pm

How about putting your face on M&M’s and saying eat me? :lol:

Randyt (aka "tired of this coolie work, need to get on a plane somewhere)

February 14th, 2011
1:36 pm

PR good luck with not doing anything special. Just a reminder from someone who was married way too long…women NEVER forget an injustice, real or perceived.

Remembering V-day, Mother’s Day, Christmas, Secretaries Day,
birthdays, anniversaries, and probably a dozen more I am forgetting is a small investment in harmonious relationships.

Forgetting can be hazardous to one’s health. Ask me how I know…”been there, done that, have a closet FULL of t-shirts”.

Da_Man!

February 14th, 2011
1:38 pm

BMW – M&M’s in the “Right” place will gobbled down like a glazed donut …

Purple Rain

February 14th, 2011
1:39 pm

Guys, I know my wife and have done the opposite and gotten her stuff on Valentines Day(had many before we got married) and she hates the whole thing. Things go smoother when I don’t make a fuss out of the day. We’ve had our ups and downs but never has this day been an issue. Her mindset is no reason to put on a show for a day that someone else decided to glorify, it’s not a birthday or Christmas. Her words not mine.

cba

February 14th, 2011
1:40 pm

LEGGS, my daughter has the exact white teddy bear w/ red heart, on the dresser, in the guest bedroom. I think it has been there a couple of years……long shelf life :-)

SlimHearted - Man, I love lovin'!

February 14th, 2011
1:40 pm

BMW – I wish I would’ve thought about that idea before I made my basket. lol

Da_Man!

February 14th, 2011
1:42 pm

PR – How’d you get so Lucky. Please write a manual.

Leggs

February 14th, 2011
1:45 pm

@cba ~ that teddy is very popular. It sounds as though there’s sentiment behind hers…that’s an entirely different story. I’m glad for her because it is a cute bear.

Purple Rain

February 14th, 2011
1:45 pm

Da_Man, I just found the right one for me (shrugs)

Purple Rain

February 14th, 2011
1:47 pm

But on why valentines day is not a big issue is because a rarely let a week go buy that I do not get her a card and some flowers. I always compliment her and feed her “ego” and each day I think of three ways to tell her that I love her outside of just saying “I love you”. I just love her :)

Da_Man!

February 14th, 2011
1:48 pm

PR – Congrats … I believe I found the right 1 too. She just better be ready to get in that basket and swiiiiiiiing b/c Daddys’ bringin home the MALL!

AmazonRed™ - XOXO

February 14th, 2011
1:50 pm

Is avoiding my Valentine…. :lol:

Purple Rain

February 14th, 2011
1:50 pm

Da_Man, anything done with confidence she will love :)

SexyCool

February 14th, 2011
1:50 pm

Da_Man – that almost sounds like “Payment rendered. Service expected.”

Purple Rain

February 14th, 2011
1:51 pm

She still irks me to much though. LOL

kimmie

February 14th, 2011
1:54 pm

Purple – You said a mouthful. You found the right one for YOU.

My birthday is Jan 17, a few weeks after Christmas. Now rolls around V Day. We got engaged Christmas Eve. My boo told me my birthday & V day would be a little light this year due to him paying off the ring & us saving for wedding & honeymoon. A reasonable request. He still acknowledged my birthday & V day, just on a smaller scale.

So do you think I’m pouting and “withholding” thru all of this? I know there are some women who would – but I’m not one of them.

Simple Man!!!!

February 14th, 2011
1:55 pm

Ared, Why are you dodging your guy????

Leggs

February 14th, 2011
1:56 pm

@kimmie ~ any woman that would “pout” or even “withhold” after he explained all of that to her doesn’t deserve to be with ANY MAN! She’s content with her B.O.B.

SlimHearted - Man, I love lovin'!

February 14th, 2011
1:56 pm

Well, don’t yall do too much loving tonight. Off to see the hematologist. (sorta ironic with the holiday and all) Anyhoo, have a good one. ;-)

Purple Rain

February 14th, 2011
1:58 pm

kimmie, because you two are one team :) and you know him and there is no tangible item that could ever come to meaning as much as having his heart

Karpetheday

February 14th, 2011
2:00 pm

Randyt (aka "tired of this coolie work, need to get on a plane somewhere)

February 14th, 2011
2:02 pm

PR…that’s great man. I’m truly glad for you and truly jealous. I really have gotten jaded and have to try hard to bring out the “hopeful romantic” in me now. Age and footprints up my back I guess.

Da_Man!

February 14th, 2011
2:04 pm

SC – Ya killin me … making me seem like a monster.

SexyCool

February 14th, 2011
2:05 pm

LOL – just not sure why you buying her something means that she has to go into her special bag of tricks.

Fion

February 14th, 2011
2:11 pm

@ Da_Man!

If you know what it takes to keep you from sittin’ out there on the front stoop of the Dog House with
a 50lb. bag of Alpo, handle yo business Man.

Randyt (aka "tired of this coolie work, need to get on a plane somewhere)

February 14th, 2011
2:14 pm

Not relevant to the day’s topic, but I just met an absoulutely stunning lady, beautiful, studied acting at NYU for a year and a half, smart, awesome anatomy, did I say beautiful??? Just one little problem…she has two adopted children that are eight years old. My youngest has left the nest and I am used to being friends with a potential partner’s teenage children, but these are babies. I’m struggling here. I was hoping to get involved with someone to travel with, use Delta skymiles, and Marriott and Amex points to take us traveling every few months. Probably should walk, run, make like horse manure and hit the trail, but I look into those eyes and I am hooked.