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Is it love or lust?

It’s officially Valentine’s day and love is in the air. Well, more like in the restaurants, retail stores, and flower shops – but you know what I mean.   The day when love is on the minds of many people – single (who came up with Singles Awareness Day? I mean, really?) and coupled up people.

Last week we talked about the importance of passion in a relationship, especially if you want a long-lasting marriage. I often wonder how passion fuels the lust, that sometimes gets mistaken for love in the beginning.  How do you really know when you are falling in love or lust with someone?

What do you think the difference is between love and lust? Have you felt as if you have been in love and/or lust? Do you think the two “feel” the same or is there a notable difference?

Have you ever thought you were in love, only to discover later that you were mistaking it for lust? What did you do?

Happy Valentine’s Day to everyone!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

388 comments Add your comment

SexyCool

February 14th, 2011
10:48 am

Love and lust can exist independently of each other. However, they are both so much better when they co-exist.

SlimHearted - Man, I love lovin'!

February 14th, 2011
10:49 am

BMW – I think you’ll find one in his bathroom hanging over the shower curtain rod. :lol:

Leggs

February 14th, 2011
10:52 am

LOLOLOL, no I didn’t say that. Just repeated what someone else said….the “hmmmmmm” is my only contribution. :lol:

SexyCool

February 14th, 2011
10:53 am

I’m set to close on the Washington Park house on March 18th.

Y’all wish me luck.

Randyt (aka "tired of this coolie work, need to get on a plane somewhere)

February 14th, 2011
10:55 am

I am at a point where I hide from relationships between Dec. 1 and Feb 14. All four major relationships in my life ended in December, and frankly men should act like every day is Valentine’s Day (try to add something surprising or romantic every day). Not easy but should.

Leggs

February 14th, 2011
10:57 am

SexyC ~ CONGRATULATIONS!

Dan - Simply...Superior

February 14th, 2011
10:58 am

Good Luck SC!!

Fion

February 14th, 2011
11:02 am

I have to say honestly, the times I’ve been in love and loved regardless of how the relationship ended I was always glad that I shared what I had with that person.
All in all, they were worth every once I gave. To all those that I’ve truly loved.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

Good Night Ursula, wherever you are!

Leggs

February 14th, 2011
11:05 am

@SexyC ~ guess “Good Luck” is more appropriate than congratulations. Whatever shennigans that may arise at closing will have to “walking” or taking care of them. Be prepared for them asking for more $$. There seems to always be some surprise at closing.

BlackMagicWoman

February 14th, 2011
11:08 am

“Jizza-Due” ???????? :shock: :lol:

Congrats SCOOL!

SlimHearted - Man, I love lovin'!

February 14th, 2011
11:10 am

Leggs – It can be appropriate to use Congratulations especially if she wants to go ahead and claim it’s hers anyway. ;-)

kimmie

February 14th, 2011
11:11 am

Morning all!

Yesterday was our annual Love Sunday at my church. The pastor gave a great sermon on what real love is all about. How it’s an action, not a feeling. He compared lust to that BB King song “The Thrill is Gone”!

Like SCool said, love and lust can be independant of each other, but together it’s wonderful! I look at my fiance’ sometimes and say to myself “How lucky am I, to have found a wonderful guy I love dearly, that is sooooo HOT”!

Happy Love Day everyone!!

Leggs

February 14th, 2011
11:11 am

Thanks, SlimHearted! I thought that, but since she hasn’t inked the deal yet, second guessed myself.

AmazonRed™ - XOXO

February 14th, 2011
11:14 am

ARED…do you have that Anti-D0uchbag spray with you?

I keep “Bytch be gone” spray…but I think it works on d0uchbags. :lol:

Leggs

February 14th, 2011
11:14 am

Love is a verb! Remember that and you can easily assess when love really isn’t present.

Leggs

February 14th, 2011
11:15 am

I see no one is really talking about the Grammys. I think Justin Beiber and his handlers ate some humble pie. Probably believed he was a shoo-in to win something, but he walked away empty handed.

AmazonRed™ - XOXO

February 14th, 2011
11:15 am

Congrats SCool. Welcome back to the club!

SlimHearted - Man, I love lovin'!

February 14th, 2011
11:17 am

‘I keep “Bytch be gone” spray…but I think it works on d0uchbags’

I nominate this as COMMENT OF THE DAY!!!! :LOL:

Leggs

February 14th, 2011
11:19 am

Bytch Be Gone spray! There’s definitely a market for that.

SlimHearted - Man, I love lovin'!

February 14th, 2011
11:20 am

Leggs – Re: Bieber Fever…i think the fact his movie didn’t hit the #1 spot was also a shock to them. Justin was on Q100 this morning urging not only girls to go see it, but that boys should jump on the “Never Say Never” bandwagon too…if not to see the movie, at least to be in the presence of all the screaming young ladies lol

Da_Man!

February 14th, 2011
11:20 am

Do I cover all my bases if I love to lust???

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

February 14th, 2011
11:22 am

Good luck, SC

“There seems to always be some surprise at closing.”

There shouldn’t be if you have a good agent. I’ve seen both ends of the spectrum — when I sold my house, I had the worst agent in the history of agents. She was completely unprepared. I even asked her some specific questions beforehand and she completely misinformed me. But luckily by the time Mrs. Swiss & I bought our new place, we found the best agent I’ve ever seen. He literally saved us $70K just before our initial due-diligence period was set to expire by doing some extra digging (and in the process reduced his own commission to make sure we were getting the best deal possible). And for the closing, he had us both 100% prepared — absolutely no surprises.

Leggs

February 14th, 2011
11:23 am

@SlimHearted ~ bet his pleas fell on deaf ears. Boys don’t want to go to the movies to see a bunch of silly, screaming, panting girls over someone other than themselves. :lol:

Dan - Simply...Superior

February 14th, 2011
11:24 am

@Swiss

If you still have that cats number, holla at cha boy.

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

February 14th, 2011
11:27 am

Dan — I do. Email me and I’ll give you his info…

SlimHearted - Man, I love lovin'!

February 14th, 2011
11:28 am

Leggs – You ain’t neva lied bout dat. lol

Leggs

February 14th, 2011
11:28 am

Glad to hear that, i’m swiss. There was a surprise at my closing, and my agent knew her trade. Somewhere more $$ were asked ($1000 to be exact). I stuck to my guns and stated all that was negotiated and agreed upon. I wasn’t going to give another $1000. We went back and forth, but I stuck to my guns and prevailed…

kimmie

February 14th, 2011
11:29 am

I like Bieber. He really seems to be a sweetheart, not cocky. His handlers may be cocky, but he comes across as nothing but humble, he & his mom. I hope he keeps some of that innocence about him just a little while longer. Nice kid.

They did India Irie like that at the Grammy’s. The Grammy’s can be a trip. Seems to be sort of a jinx with that Best New Artist category too. Bieber’s probably better off not getting that one.

SlimHearted - Man, I love lovin'!

February 14th, 2011
11:30 am

‘Infatuation is when you think he’s as sexy as Robert Redford, as smart as Henry Kissinger, as noble as Ralph Nader, as funny as Woody Allen, and as athletic as Jimmy Conners. Love is when you realize that he’s as sexy as Woody Allen, as smart as Jimmy Connors, as funny as Ralph Nader, as athletic as Henry Kissinger and nothing like Robert Redford – but you’ll take him anyway.’ ~Judith Viorst, Redbook, 1975

SexyCool

February 14th, 2011
11:31 am

I like the “Beib” too.

Chelle

February 14th, 2011
11:33 am

HAPPY VALENTINES’ DAY EVERYONE :)

SexyCool

February 14th, 2011
11:34 am

In addition to the “Bytch Be Gone” products, there is a method that you can employ as well. “Bytch, Boo, Bye” (As made famous by Royce on Basketball Wives – lol)

AmazonRed™ - XOXO

February 14th, 2011
11:35 am

AmazonRed™ - XOXO

February 14th, 2011
11:37 am

They sell Bullsh-t repellant too. :lol:

Leggs

February 14th, 2011
11:43 am

@kimmie ~ I believe he’s a good kid, not cocky. I like his mother as well. I even thought he might take home an award until Lady Antebellum stole everything.

That was really really funny, SlimHearted, and TRUE! That’s love.

Well, my ex just called to confirm he was the one who sent the flowers saying he owed it to me for prior years. Again, you don’t miss the water until the well runs dry! Oh well. Nice gesture. I’m not going to throw them in the garbage!

Da_Man!

February 14th, 2011
11:44 am

So if a Guy goes out and does his “due diligence” with the flowers, card, candy, perfume (or whatever gift to her liking) … Does that mean he should expect at minimal his Lady to Swing from the Basket above the bed, for her to make CERTAIN sparks fly outta his azz or even try to get a beachball through a straw???

Leggs

February 14th, 2011
11:46 am

@SexyC ~ she (Royce) definitely says that (lol).

Sad Valentine's

February 14th, 2011
11:48 am

WORSE THAN NOT GETTING ANYTHING WOULD BE GETTING GIFTED BY SOMEONE YOU DON’T WANT ANYTHING FROM OR NOTHING TO DO WITH

:(
:(
:(

SlimHearted - Man, I love lovin'!

February 14th, 2011
11:48 am

Leggs – A guy friend of mine told me how he was in the ‘dawg house’ with his gf and how he begged, pleaded or whatever to get her to give him another chance. Well, he went to a floral shop and ordered a huge flower arrangement to be sent to the chicks job. On the day of the delivery, the floral shop called him to tell him to come get his money back because the chick had refused the flowers. I was like dayum, I never heard of anyone doing that even if it was from someone you were upset with. I’d at least enjoy them or give them to a friend. lol I was just like dayum, even the floral guy felt bad enough to give him his money back :lol:

Leggs

February 14th, 2011
11:48 am

@Da_Man ~ you make “due diligence” sound so much like a chore and a desire from his heart to show his love for his woman.

SexyCool

February 14th, 2011
11:50 am

NOT getting a V-Day gift is not the end of the world.

Leggs

February 14th, 2011
11:51 am

sound so much like a chore THAN a desire from his heart….

SexyCool

February 14th, 2011
11:52 am

I’m buying TheDude a card and pan broiling his favorite cut of steak for dinner….and just may blindfold him and feed him fruit and chocolate afterwards.

Leggs

February 14th, 2011
11:54 am

No, it’s definitely isn’t, SexyC! I truly do not understand why you have to give $$ to Kay Jewelers to show your love and appreciation for me. There are so many other ways that buying into the commercialization of this day! And, please do give me a box of chocolates. If you don’t see me eat chocolate on a regular basis, I definitely don’t want it on that day!

SlimHearted - Man, I love lovin'!

February 14th, 2011
11:55 am

And speaking of BBall wives….is Tami a schizo? lol

SexyCool

February 14th, 2011
11:57 am

Tami seems to have little voices that speak to her.

(And she looks so much better withOUT the bangs. I wish she would set her forehead free.)

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

February 14th, 2011
11:58 am

“….and just may blindfold him and feed him fruit and chocolate afterwards.”

SCool — With your va-jay-jay, I’m hoping? And make sure you video that, too — we need some post V-day entertainment up in this joint… :lol:

Da_Man!

February 14th, 2011
11:59 am

@Leggs … It is a chore (for me) only b/c I give from the heart & show my love on others days like June 7th or Oct 8th, which are just avg day … nothing special about those days. V-day is the only time when men moreso than women feel compelled to show their love. If i had not walked in the house last nite with anything less than some flowers, it would have been Dirty Look Day for me & the punanny would have been held hostage for about a month.

SexyCool

February 14th, 2011
12:00 pm

Why, lawd, why?

Leggs

February 14th, 2011
12:03 pm

Hadn’t heard punanny in quite some time.

Re: Tami. All I know is I wouldn’t want to mess with her on ANY LEVEL. I like her because she’s real 100%, 24/7 365. Can’t ask anything else from a person. Hmmmmm, I wonder about that?