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Their dating mistakes, but do you pay the price?

I think it was Abraham Lincoln that said “I don’t think much of a man who is not wiser today than he was yesterday.”  This is especially true when we think about how little we knew about love, sex, and relationships before compared to what we know now! Would you say that you are smarter now?

Of course,  there are relationship lessons that some people refuse to learn. It sort of has this butterfly effect that can actually effect other people. I know I’ve been stuck on stupid before and it probably turned into a train wreck for someone else.

I’m sure that some poor soul has had to pay the price of bad decisions made by somebody else.  A cheating wife or girlfriend has made some guy super paranoid or bitter.  A possessive or jealous man has turned a once free spirited woman into a guarded person that doesn’t let anyone in.

Do you think that your dating mistakes has caused another person to endure challenges?

Do you ever feel as if you are paying the relationship price of somebody else and their mistakes?

Does this ever happen in a good way? Do you reap the benefits of someone’s hard work from your significant other’s previous relationship?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

309 comments Add your comment

Purple Rain "Free Me-Lo"

February 8th, 2011
4:08 pm

Just because it is thrown at me does not mean I have to catch it!

Fion

February 8th, 2011
4:08 pm

Simply because her girlfriend asked doesn’t mean she has to answer. If she calls let it go to voicemail.

Purple Rain "Free Me-Lo"

February 8th, 2011
4:09 pm

kimmie, I will never was this hand again :)

Purple Rain "Free Me-Lo"

February 8th, 2011
4:09 pm

I still say that there are three sides to a story and we are only hearing one.

Raqi V

February 8th, 2011
4:10 pm

if your friends can’t pull your coat to bllsht

That’s ^ what friends are for.

kimmie

February 8th, 2011
4:10 pm

Raqi- You are right. I have one friend that is a Methodist preacher’s daughter that married a Muslim. The only reason it works is because she basically has abandoned her faith, doesn’t go to church and they decided to let the kids decide what they want to do when they grow up and leave home.

Purple Rain "Free Me-Lo"

February 8th, 2011
4:11 pm

Ex-con, different religion(until adulthood), rude to women and said mean things to them, dangerous young adult life, drug usage in the past marries a good christian woman with strong morals

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

February 8th, 2011
4:12 pm

They both slapped him on occasions.
kimmie haha you made it sound so routine and nonchalant, like it was so normal for him that it was no big deal. lol

Dude: Baby can I watch the Superbowl?

Girl: Naw, I got “Murder She Wrote” on.

Dude: b-b-b-b-but you’re not even watching it.

Girl: I know, I just want it on as background noise while I talk to my girl and do this crossword puzzle.

Dude: can I at least see halftime?

Girl: get out my face…

Dude: w-w-w-well…

SMACK

Girl: I said get out my face…and get the clothes out the dryer.

SexyCool

February 8th, 2011
4:13 pm

Sounds like dude is a size 8 shoe when your girlfriend wears an 8 and a half. Yeah…she can get her foot in the shoe, but it won’t wear will and will definitely cause some pain.

But…from the outside looking in…it fits.

Leggs - "Free Me-Lo"

February 8th, 2011
4:13 pm

@DreamsM ~ that’s not a man, that’s some one that’s henpecked! :lol:

Purple Rain "Free Me-Lo"

February 8th, 2011
4:15 pm

If you are not living a religious life why does it matter if you married someone who is outside of your religion? And it is okay for a Muslim man to marry a Christian woman(Acording to the Quran), Islam means equality and no discrimination

Fion

February 8th, 2011
4:15 pm

@Dreams
that’s what I’m saying. If that ain’t some crazy !$#+=*%

Purple Rain "Free Me-Lo"

February 8th, 2011
4:17 pm

He should have Ike Turner, Rick James, Chris Browned both of those women who slapped him. LOL

kimmie

February 8th, 2011
4:18 pm

Raqi/SCool – I will never abandon my friend. She has always been there for me. I am one of the few friends she has whose opinion she respects. I will always listen to her. But she knows I won’t tell her what to do and that’s why she can open up to me. She knows she has to make her own decision.

It’s tough seeing her have these questions because otherwise she seems very happy with him. I just see these problems looming, I’m on the outside looking in.

I told you guys yesterday that I am hard. I am strong enough at this point to cut off a guy and not even give him a chance should a major dealbreaker such as those above rear their ugly head. But that’s me.

All I can be is as supportive as I can, without getting into her business.

Raqi V

February 8th, 2011
4:18 pm

Him allowing, not one but TWO women to slap him leads me to believe that he may not be all the devout in his faith. Muslim men are in no way that docile. In fact they usually view woman on the same level as children or less.

I used to work with two and they both irked me. And most of the women in the company also. One of the dudes actually held his son in higher regards than his wife.

kimmie

February 8th, 2011
4:19 pm

Dreams – LOL!!!

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

February 8th, 2011
4:19 pm

My grandmother is a devout christian, and my grandfather was never religious at all. He believed in God, but not religion. They were married 50+ years until my grandfather passed. They both would tell you in a heartbeat that they were soul mates and were meant for each other.

Raqi V

February 8th, 2011
4:19 pm

But that could just be my opinion from working with two arsewipes that served under the Muslim faith.

Purple Rain "Free Me-Lo"

February 8th, 2011
4:19 pm

kimmie, you are being a great friend by being supportive and let her choose her own course because those may not be deal breakers for her as we all have a different value system.

Purple Rain "Free Me-Lo"

February 8th, 2011
4:20 pm

Dreams, given my past any woman would have been crazy to marry me and told my wife as such(the post@4:11 is me). But Look at us now!

Fion

February 8th, 2011
4:20 pm

@kimmie

Ok, BillieJean Bad azz. Go ahead. be careful is all I’m gonna say.

Purple Rain "Free Me-Lo"

February 8th, 2011
4:21 pm

LOL and Christians are not the prime examples of religious people. LOL

Celisea (free Me-Lo)

February 8th, 2011
4:21 pm

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

February 8th, 2011
4:21 pm

kimmie has your girl ever slapped dude? Tell the truth… lol

Celisea (free Me-Lo)

February 8th, 2011
4:22 pm

Middle Eastern Muslims are the prime example of religious. Christians are spiritual :)

Celisea (free Me-Lo)

February 8th, 2011
4:23 pm

Black or AA Muslims are prime examples of hate and belittlement (is that a word). They ain’t gonna become sacrificial lambs for their cause. They just blame folks and won’t eat pork.

kimmie

February 8th, 2011
4:23 pm

Purple – To your 4:15 – I get your point and I would agree, except my friend’s hubby is “devout” when it’s convenient! Like when he doesn’t want her to go out with her girlfriends or drink alcohol. Then that’s when we get “holier than thou”!

And this is typical of most unequally yoked relationships I know of. Dude is like “it’s no big deal” before the wedding. Then it’s used as a form of control.

So not for me!

Raqi V

February 8th, 2011
4:23 pm

He believed in God, but not religion

DreamsMat, that’s different than having being devout under two separate conflicting faiths. Most of our actions are fueled by our faith. When you have no faiths to conflict it easier than The One True God and Elijah Mohammad or Buddha butting heads at the dinner table over raising children, spending money, etc.

Raqi V

February 8th, 2011
4:24 pm

LMBO Celisea. You are right in both of those statements.

Raqi V

February 8th, 2011
4:25 pm

kimmie, while you can’t tell her what to do you can try to help her see why that’s just not a good road to venture onto.

For Real

February 8th, 2011
4:26 pm

Blackfoote at the door re-inactment……..

BF: (thinking to himself when he pulled up) Imma get some tonight! (Runs up to the door in his finest Freddie Jackson jacket and rings the doorbell)

Dudethatjustgotoutofjail: Sssssssay mmmmmmmmmman imma, imma, imma, back now tic,tic,tic imma, imma, imma, ssssssso,ssssssssor, pleease forgive me fo wawawawawawawa, wastin yo time. Ssssssssssss, see back totototototo, ish! wewewe back totototototogetgetgetget ish! Im hittin it again fo the chillismses sake.

Celisea (free Me-Lo)

February 8th, 2011
4:26 pm

Raqi – When I was about 19, there was a cutie whose mom owned the beauty supply store across from the hair salon and he asked me out a couple of times. After I found out he was Muslim, I was like ut uh. He was about my age but had already been brainwashed with their beliefs.

Raqi V

February 8th, 2011
4:28 pm

when it’s convenient

Yep. Folks like that when it comes to what they are supposed to be contributing to the relationship or not doing they throw religion, the bible, the torah and the qu’ran out the window. It’s called selective amnesia.

kimmie

February 8th, 2011
4:29 pm

Fion – Hey, I’m just the friend who lends an ear. I don’t have nothing to be careful about in my own situation! My fiance’ is all that and a big ole bag of chips! No worries here. Both of my parents have passed on, but my grandmother, aunts and uncles have all given their blessing. We are good!

Dreams – If she has, she hasn’t told me!LOL!! That doesn’t seem to be in her nature, but you never know folks behind closed doors!! Oh, and your grandparents sound exactly like mine! My grandmother is very devout but grandfather not so much. But married over 60 years til he passed.

Raqi V

February 8th, 2011
4:30 pm

Celisea, every one is entitled to their faiths and beliefs but there when dating there were some areas I dared not venture. Muslim men was one of them. Military and Ball players were the next. LOL

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

February 8th, 2011
4:31 pm

They just blame folks and won’t eat pork.
Celisea hahaha that’s funny. Most black muslims don’t practice a form of orthodox Islam though. They’re usually NOI, which is more of a nationalist organization than an Islamic one. You ever see that movie “I’m Gonna Get You Sucka” with the black radical muslim dude that had the white wife? That’s what your post reminded me of. Bean pie my sista? lol

DreamsMat, that’s different than having being devout under two separate conflicting faiths
Raqi I feel you, although I would say most faiths aren’t really conflicting in principle. I feel what you’re saying though.

Leggs - "Free Me-Lo"

February 8th, 2011
4:31 pm

@PR ~ we knew the 4:11 was you.

Celisea (free Me-Lo)

February 8th, 2011
4:32 pm

Raqi – I agree. I can just about date most. Matter fact I’d rather date a nonchurch goer than a religious fanatic. I don’t do extremes though. Muslims are one, atheists another. Nonreligious, yeah I’d agree to ballplayers. I dated military but that was before they got in there good and got tainted :)

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

February 8th, 2011
4:33 pm

If she has, she hasn’t told me
kimmie yeah she smacked him. lol next time she calls you, ask her if she’s had to lay hands on him before. haha

Celisea (free Me-Lo)

February 8th, 2011
4:34 pm

Dreams – You ever see that movie “I’m Gonna Get You Sucka” with the black radical muslim dude that had the white wife?

Yep, lol…that was funny. My second hair stylist (for about 10 years) was located on MLK and there was like a center or something on the side block and I’d see duded coming and going with their newspapers and bean pies…in traffic selling pies. Oh and the bow ties…lol

Purple Rain "Free Me-Lo"

February 8th, 2011
4:35 pm

Christians are committing just about every crime you see on the news. LOL

For Real

February 8th, 2011
4:35 pm

Kimmie: Your is over there beating the ish out of that man and she wants you to stop her because she can’t help herselves. Bet she at Home Depot right now buying a telephone book on a stick.

Celisea (free Me-Lo)

February 8th, 2011
4:35 pm

PR – Christians that commit crimes aren’t Christians :)

kimmie

February 8th, 2011
4:36 pm

I dated military but that was before they got in there good and got tainted

Celisea – Same here. But they were still crazy. Had to let that go too. And the ballplayers were cool to have as friends. They could get us in the best parties & clubs and get us tickets. But I let the groupies have them garden tools!

Simple Man!!!

February 8th, 2011
4:36 pm

“They ain’t gonna become sacrificial lambs for their cause. They just blame folks and won’t eat pork.”

Too Funny!!! LOL

SexyCool

February 8th, 2011
4:37 pm

We’ve had the same dude selling bean pies over at the corner of Greenbriar and Headland Drive all five years that I’ve lived in that area.

kimmie

February 8th, 2011
4:37 pm

Bet she at Home Depot right now buying a telephone book on a stick.

4Real/Dreams – You 2 are in rare form today! :lol:

SexyCool

February 8th, 2011
4:37 pm

Oh…and he has added fresh fruit to his product selection.

Purple Rain "Free Me-Lo"

February 8th, 2011
4:37 pm

I bet that woman who tried to mail a puppy was a Christian. LOL

Leggs - "Free Me-Lo"

February 8th, 2011
4:38 pm

@Blackfoote ~ I need to ask you this question. Why did you stand there listening to the dude of the woman you thought you might “hit” that night for 40 mins. Why didn’t you nip that at the bud with the quickness???