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Dating women: What do you want from us?

I spent Superbowl Sunday in a den of testosterone surrounded by male debauchery.  My boys know how to throw a party and they certainly didn’t disappoint. I can always count on them for insight into the male brain and believe me, they don’t sugarcoat anything. Ever.

One of them recently broke up with someone that I personally thought was a great match for him. Of course it’s good to break things off when you know there is no future but I always worry when I see people bail out so soon.

Every guy is different but when it comes to dating women, what exactly do you want? I read somewhere that some men will keep looking for the woman that he won’t ever cheat on? Do you agree?

Ladies do you think you know and understand what men what from you in a dating relationship? Do you have a hard time figuring it out based on their behavior?

Are we supposed to be clear about our dating intentions? Do you think it’s necessary so that we can actually make it to the relationship and commitment level?

HAPPY MONDAY!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

211 comments Add your comment

[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Debi Levine, Ashli Long and Meaghan Phillips, Sam N. Plunkett. Sam N. Plunkett said: Dating women: What do you want from us? – Atlanta Journal Constitution (blog) http://dld.bz/KAHs [...]

Dudogger

February 7th, 2011
6:14 am

What a really lame rant to try spinning off the Super Bowl! You must have laid awake all night in conjuring up this one. What do we guys want? No Overly-Opinionated, Self-Righteous Divas – that’s what!!

Realistic

February 7th, 2011
6:56 am

That Dude Devin

February 7th, 2011
7:42 am

I want women to stop asking what men want.

Roll Tide

February 7th, 2011
7:53 am

A great Question actually….I am seeing 2 ladies and they always say ” I don’t understand you…” 1st – I admit, I probably am a poor communicator Therefore 2nd- I don;t give them a chance…

I have been thinking about this very question and saying to myself ” What do I want from these laides? I need to be honest, make up my mind and be faor to them…..

good Question Wise Diva!

Roll Tide

February 7th, 2011
7:53 am

A great Question actually….I am seeing 2 ladies and they always say ” I don’t understand you…” 1st – I admit, I probably am a poor communicator Therefore 2nd- I don;t give them a chance…

I have been thinking about this very question and saying to myself ” What do I want from these ladies? I need to be honest, make up my mind and be fair to them…..

good Question Wise Diva!

alphadog

February 7th, 2011
7:54 am

A mute button.

Y'all Are Kids

February 7th, 2011
8:05 am

What I want in a woman? Me. W/ t!ts. And I found her. Yesterday we, rode our motorcycles to Dawsonville for lunch, then rode to Ellijay and back home. She didn’t shop, I didn’t watch the Stupid Bowl and we ended up the day nekkid. What more could a guy ask for?

SlimNumeroUno

February 7th, 2011
8:14 am

Wow, I see there are some early risers already up in this camp. So good morning to all…

‘Ladies do you think you know and understand what men what from you in a dating relationship?’

Sometimes I think I know…sometimes I don’t. But to take all the guess work out, i’d prefer he just tell me.

Call it like it is

February 7th, 2011
8:29 am

And I see this blog ending in 3……..2………1……….

The Truth

February 7th, 2011
8:33 am

Sex

It’s as simple as that.

Paul

February 7th, 2011
8:39 am

Aren’t women supposed to be smarter than men? If so, why ask? Just figure it out.

The real question is why ask. Why does it matter what men want?

Like all other things men do which women don’t want them to do, just cajole and manipulate and push him to want what you want. Works every time as long as you have the right leverage, right ladies?

Realist

February 7th, 2011
8:49 am

“Every weekend, hundreds pf women marry hundreds of men thinking they’ll change. Every weekend, hundreds of men marry hundreds of women thunking they won’t change. Both will be disappointed.”

I’m in my second marraige and the tone remains the same. When you are dating, everyone is on their best behavior, pleasing, helping, being conscienceous. I must have a bad attitude, but I’ve found that for most people (in my case woman), security in a relationship breeds complaciency. You’ve run the race. You’ve crossed the finish line. I’m addressing the men as well as the women. If you play that game, you are setting yourself up for discontent, restlesness and quite probably cheating. A relationship isn’t a destination, it’s a constant journey.

What do I want? A partner that remains somewhat as vivacious, enigmatic, amorous and imaginative as she was when we were dating. What I suggest something or want more of another thing, I’m not insulting you, rather communicating. You should be able to do the same to me. But we became enamored with you because of the way you were when we dated. THAT is what made us fall in love with you and want you for a spouse. This is twice that I’ve been placed in the siuation of “Who are you and what did you do with my wife?” I want to laugh, cuddle, still have the seduction, hold hands and have the drive that we had early on. Am I being unrealistic? Apparantly so. If my status should change again, I will never, EVER marry again. I want one partner, but I want it the way it was when we were dating…when I thought about seeing you all day and couldn’t wait until I held you hand again AND you acted like you wanted to hold mine, too.

SlimNumeroUno

February 7th, 2011
8:59 am

Truth – Howdy sweetie…so after you’ve knocked the boots and knocked the boots again at THAT point, what else do you guys want? (seems like it would be something more than just that, but i’m just a chick)

Realist

February 7th, 2011
9:10 am

Every weekend hundreds of women marry hundreds of men thinking they’ll change. Every weekend hundreds of men marry hundreds of women thinking they won’t change. Both will be disappointed.

Yep….that about covers it.

AmazonRed™ - A Rodgers...told u he was that DUDE!

February 7th, 2011
9:14 am

Morning all -

Congrats to the Packers and that dude Aaron Rodgers! Show em how those Cal Bears represent! :D

Super Bowl parties…good times. Seems like the game ended earlier than years past or maybe it’s just because I didn’t stay out all night. :lol:

SexyCool

February 7th, 2011
9:42 am

I don’t have to guess about what TheDude wants in our relationship because I ask him and he tells me. Then every so often, I ask for feedback. I mean, you do at least get annual performance evaluations at work – evaluations that are based on a job description and a set of expectations.

Well, in my relationship, it would be presumptive of me to believe that I am being the best mate that I can be, to think that I am meeting his needs if I have never taken time to find out what those needs are and then come back to get HIS opinion on whether or not I am meeting those needs and expectations.

As to whether or not we ever get to a relationship/commitment level, well hit me over the head with big brick, but…I thought that’s why we do this.

Mr_NYC

February 7th, 2011
10:14 am

LOL @ ARed — that’s pretty much how Chris Rock and Dave Chappelle.
Make him a sandwich, get the remote, and yeah the other stuff.

kimmie

February 7th, 2011
10:19 am

Good morning gang!

I agree with what Amred & SCool have said.

Some men are never satisfied, as evidenced on here today by Realist. There is no “one size fits all”. And really that’s fine. Some say they want this & that and when they get it, they still are not happy. Really, what can you do?

I really don’t care what “men” want. The only one I care about is my man and what he wants. That is all that matters. Like SCool said, check in with each other from time to time to make sure each is getting what they need & want from the relationship.

SlimNumeroUno

February 7th, 2011
10:20 am

Looks like everyone caught the Stayed up too late watching the superbowl partying 24hr bug.

DreamsMaterialize

February 7th, 2011
10:24 am

At the end of the day I want someone I can vibe with, someone who genuinely understands and values who I am. I want someone who can see where I am and get right there with me…and be comfortable doing it.

SlimNumeroUno

February 7th, 2011
10:24 am

‘Check in with each other from time to time to make sure each is getting what they need & want from the relationship.’

Makes perfect sense because our wants and needs are ever-changing…but I definitely need my partner to continue to do those special thoughtful things he did while dating as our relationship move on.

[...] more here: Dating women: What do you want from us? | Misadventures in Atlanta This entry was posted in Dating and tagged boys-know, superbowl, superbowl-sunday. Bookmark the [...]

DreamsMaterialize

February 7th, 2011
10:29 am

Some say they want this & that and when they get it, they still are not happy.
kimmie I’ve been guilty of this. I’ve met and dated women who had all the things I felt I should want in a woman, you know those on-paper qualities that seem so important. Yet there was still something missing…maybe that elusive chemistry we’ve talked about before.

SlimDizzyDoodle

February 7th, 2011
10:33 am

Dreams – have you ever met a chick with the IT factor but lacked all the other ‘on paper’ qualities? If so, how did that courtship go?

kimmie

February 7th, 2011
10:41 am

Dreams – It is the chemistry missing. A lot of people look at on-paper stuff and think it SHOULD be a wrap! They look and say “how can he NOT love her, she has this, this and this going for her?” It’s not a resume for a job interview. On-paper stuff won’t make you love someone.

SexyCool

February 7th, 2011
10:42 am

Should I ever have a girl child….or a child, period…I really plan on teaching them a heck of a lot more about how to choose a mate than I was ever taught.

Pass on some of the things that I had to learn through trial and error….with the understanding that they would, in some ways, HAVE to make their own mistakes and learn from their own experiences.

(I’m just having one of those “Hindsight is 20/20″ kinda moments….

TenderRoni

February 7th, 2011
10:45 am

“Some say they want this & that and when they get it, they still are not happy.”- this is what I’m really stuggling to understand with men.

You can bring a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink it!

I have just given up trying to understand. No where are those darn cats…

i'm swiss™

February 7th, 2011
10:46 am

Morning all…

On topic: Um… okay…

1) Regular booty
2) Peace & quiet (especially during the game)
3) Maybe a sandwich or something?

That’ll do… :lol:

SlimDizzyDoodle

February 7th, 2011
10:56 am

swiss – now can you SERIOUSLY just chuck it up to those 3 things…i mean really? So chick can be a total slob and can ONLY know how to fix a sammich?

M. (pronouced M dot)

February 7th, 2011
10:57 am

Monday ;(

I think guys really want a woman who is:

1. Respectful

2. Outgoing/Social but not always in the street.

3. Ambitious

4. Honest.

5. Trustworthy.

kimmie

February 7th, 2011
11:01 am

Swiss – Plenty men get those 3 things and more, yet they are still unhappy. They get the regular booty, but get bored with it. They get the peace & quiet when we’re off doing our own thing. They get tired of sandwiches and canned soup all the time, where are the gourmet meals?That stuff is basic and really can apply to women as well, if we’re honest with ourselves. :) It really does go beyond the basics with everyone.

I just don’t think it’s a question that can be answered – too vague.

kimmie

February 7th, 2011
11:04 am

So chick can be a total slob and can ONLY know how to fix a sammich?

Slim – Yes, I have seen it in action, women like that that have men lined up to be with them. I’m not talking a jump-off or an FWB, I’m talking PROPOSALS!

Just depends on the guy!

Celisea

February 7th, 2011
11:05 am

What do men want from us? For us to not require anything of them.

Purple Rain

February 7th, 2011
11:05 am

Don’t know what I want but I am glad I got it :)

i'm swiss™

February 7th, 2011
11:06 am

Slim — Now do I look like a dude who would eat a sammich made by a sloppy ho?

:lol:

Purple Rain

February 7th, 2011
11:06 am

what I need.

Purple Rain

February 7th, 2011
11:07 am

Respect, Dedication and Honesty, sense of humor, clean house can cook and loves life.

Purple Rain

February 7th, 2011
11:08 am

And know we are having free registration on match.com. LOL

Purple Rain

February 7th, 2011
11:09 am

Did you know that 4 out of 10 new relationships start on the internet because peopler are now scared to interact face to face and take the wuss role of dating via technology. See a woman you want go get her, you will win her eventually if you really want her.

Purple Rain

February 7th, 2011
11:11 am

Look here woman, I am you man and you are my woman…Enjoy!

…and they lived happily ever after.

Seriously when it comes to me outside of the obvious stuff a woman that makes me have no desire to entertain any other women is the right woman. Now how she does this, I don’t know but she does it.

i'm swiss™

February 7th, 2011
11:11 am

On topic (serious answer this time): What does anyone want? There’s no one answer; it’s different for everyone. The trick is:

1) Figuring out exactly what you want (and need)
2) Learning to communicate this ↑
3) Finding that needle in the heystack (someone who is both willing and able to give you what you need and who wants/needs what you have to give).

See how easy that is? :lol:

Purple Rain

February 7th, 2011
11:12 am

Either she loves you so good that you don’t want to cheat or her or she is just a she devil that makes you think I will never get close to another woman again. LOL

Purple Rain

February 7th, 2011
11:14 am

Swiss, you know that answer is to simple and straight forward that SOME of these women will try and find a hidden answer in that.

Ladies us men are very simple either we like it or we don’t and it is not very hard to tell. If you hang around after we have displayed signs of not liking it…well you will just get treated like an old set of drawers that we wear from time to time. LOL, you know we keep those until our new woman comes in and throws them away. #subliminal

kimmie

February 7th, 2011
11:14 am

Don’t know what I want but I am glad I got it

Purple – At lease you are real about it.

I think most people know the basics of what they want. Or they might not be able to as easily pinpoint everything they want but automatically know what they DON’T want. Some are critical of this, but I don’t really see the problem in it, especially if things have worked out for you. If you keep ending up with what you say you don’t want, then you need to work that out with yourself.

Nobody can tell you what you SHOULD want.

Purple Rain

February 7th, 2011
11:16 am

kimmie, I agree. People are so caught up in what others want that they lose focus on their own desires.

SlimDizzyDoodle

February 7th, 2011
11:20 am

‘Now do I look like a dude who would eat a sammich made by a sloppy ho?’

Swiss – first of all, lemme get this out —> :lol: Second of all, I really can’t see yo azz through this puter screen. lol I get your point.

kimmie- those chicks must be eye candy chicks if they aren’t really required to do anything domestic..but how soon do the men realize they need more. Sort of reminds me of Tyler Perry’s movie “Why did I get married” when the dude married to the Jill Scott character ended up with her thinner friend who only liked to shop. He came back around missing the woman Jill was all along.

‘Don’t know what I want but I am glad I got it ‘

Purp – that was worth repeating…Glad that you’re happy but I guess it helps that you get to chum it up with all of us on a weekly basis too.

Purple Rain

February 7th, 2011
11:20 am

LOL Here is a question that Wise Diva asked “Ladies do you think you know and understand what men want from you in a dating relationship?”

I am waiting on the ladies to answer this.

Kym-Alas..number 7 was not meant to be..but I will always root for that Steel City

February 7th, 2011
11:21 am

Good morning All,

I woke up for this insight..sex, sandwiches, and more sex. I am going to take Celisea answer. Men just don’t want to be held accountable. Cause some woman can give you more sex than you can handle and make Dagwood size sandwiches, and platters of food and then you would say..she is not forceful enough or demanding enough. I said it before and I will say it again..something not quite right with that male chromosome.

Off-Topic…I am already experience football withdrawal symptoms. GO STEELERS!

i'm swiss™

February 7th, 2011
11:23 am

Purple — I’m with you. I couldn’t tell you exactly what I want, but I know it when I see it. Actually, I think sometimes folks get too caught up in a checklist of things they think they must have rather than just looking at the whole person. Can’t see the forest for the trees kind of thing…