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Archive for January, 2011

Breakup tips: Closing the ex files

You can’t start something great with a new person if you harbor feelings for your ex. The thing about break ups? They don’t completely shut off those “pesky” emotions you once had a short time ago. We each handle break ups in our own way, but is there a trick to getting over your ex quickly?

Is it a good idea to remain friends? When do you stop hooking up with them? How do you move on without feeling bitter and resentful?

I don’t like staying friends with exes unless a lot of time has lapsed. It just works better for me because I think cutting ties means I won’t get confused and start reconsidering the breakup. Have you ever had a relationship that survived many breakups? Do you regret giving it another shot?

How long does it usually take to let go and move on after a break up? Is it true that men get over breakups faster than women?

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Dating: Should you steer clear of dirty talk?

There is something supremely creepy about a guy who talks about sex all. the. time. Listen, I’m no prude, by any stretch of the imagination. I can handle conversations about anything, but a little variety doesn’t hurt anyone. Does a person really have to bring it up every other minute to have an engaging conversation?

Have you ever met someone who constantly talks about raunchy stuff? Why do you think they honed in on that topic all the time?

I actually think that is one of the topics that you can wait to cover/discuss. If you bring up sex on the first date/encounter, you are probably not going to be taken seriously.

What do you think? Should you really jump straight to the hot and steamy talk? Doesn’t it sort of take away the fun in the build up? What do you have left to look forward to?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Blog

Apologies for the unplanned blog break, I lost internet access and couldn’t find a safe path to my nearest coffee shop, but I’m back online …

Continue reading Dating: Should you steer clear of dirty talk? »

Dating: Actions speak louder?

I’ve met and dated some really “charismatic” men in my day. I’m talking about the smooth, slick, totally engaging type that could convince you of just about anything. Oh they can make you swoon for days. It’s all fun and games until all that lip service they served is not backed up by actions!

I don’t know if we really grasp the idea that actions hold the most value when you are trying to get to know someone. I think it’s normal for people to talk a good game but how do you know who is playing to win?

If someone doesn’t back up their words with actions, do you think they are trustworthy?

Continue reading Dating: Actions speak louder? »

Worst first date plans?

I have had my fair share of great dates but I could probably write a book on the not so great ones. I’m convinced that some men think it’s a good idea to test women with some outrageous dates to see how she “handles” it.

The first couple of dates can set the tone of a dating relationship. Why would you want to risk sending the wrong message at the crucial stage of dating? Have you ever dumped someone because of the plans that were made for your date?

What would be the places to avoid during your first couple of dates?

I remember a guy friend telling me he didn’t call a girl back after she had them watch Last Tango in Paris. Apparently there are even some films that are not good date movies!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Blog

Continue reading Worst first date plans? »

What makes someone marriage material?

I think it’s really interesting that the happy couples I know admit that they did not foresee marriage when they first met. I even remember one couple saying they downright disliked each other upon introduction!

If you can go from utter dislike to tumbling head over heels, I’d say that’s proof positive that we don’t always know what we are looking for in a future partner. Even if we claim to know what makes someone marriage material, would we be able to tell if someone had it or not?

I used to think that anyone who desires to be married is marriage material! Do you think it’s that simple, though?

How do you know if you are marriage material? How do your ideas about love, marriage and what you expect from them play a role in all of this?

Continue reading What makes someone marriage material? »

May-December romances

At the age of 84, Hugh Hefner is engaged to Crystal Lewis, 24. I also read that actress Vivica Fox, 46, is engaged to Atlanta promoter Omar White, 27. As I read about the pending nuptials for these couples, I started to wonder why so many of us get hung up on age and our target age ranges in dating.

Celebrity aside, if two people have found that they have enough in common, how much does age really matter?

Admittedly, my last two misadventures in dating were with younger guys (both were 9 years younger!) I can’t figure out if it was the age difference that played a role in the break ups or not but I usually vow to leave the younger dudes alone. Of cours, this is also when I meet the really mature for his age, (read: very hot guy) that has me lifting the so-called ban on younger men.

I believe there can be pros and cons to dating younger/older, though. Maybe you just have to decide if it’s worth a shot.

What do you think? What are the really great reasons you should date …

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Saying “I love you”

If you have ever experienced the euphoria of “falling” for someone you probably remember the exact moment when you wanted to tell them. Saying I love you, dropping the L word…it can be a pretty big step. The seconds that follow can pretty much determine the course of how a relationship will proceed.

What do you do when you have said those three words and the person isn’t ready to say them back?

Have you ever had someone tell you they loved you way too early? Why do we get so weirded out when that happens?

What is the best and worst time to say I love you to someone you are dating?

If you are in a relationship, how often do you tell the person you love them?

Continue reading Saying “I love you” »

Dating: Do we still need the chase?

You can predict how some conversations about love and sex will unfold among a group of men and women. Not unlike the discussions we have on the Misadventures in Atlanta blog, you realize how differently men and women think.

I think that seeing different perspectives can be quite enlightening though! Some of the best revelations I’ve had about men have come from talking to men about men.

I remember a group of us were having dinner to celebrate one of our friend’s birthday. That evening turned into what we called The Great Chase Debate of 2010 because we ended up having a heated debate about chasing and pursuing someone you are interested in. I was surprised to hear the women say men in Atlanta don’t pursue them.

A few of the men admitted that they really don’t “chase” women all that much. One of the guys even said that a lot of women in Atlanta make it super easy for them em not to chase.

Interestingly enough, the argument got most heated when we debated whether …

Continue reading Dating: Do we still need the chase? »