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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Dating men and their complex egos

One of our great male readers mentioned the male ego (Thanks For Real!) and it reminded me why I love this blog. Part of my fascination with blogging on Misadventures in Atlanta is learning more about men. I am still on that quest to understand the male psyche, behavioral patterns, and the male ego!

Here’s what I know about male egos: it’s powerful, important to understand for a peaceful relationship, and it’s not solely based in sex. Here’s what I don’t know about male egos: how do I manage (stroke?) it and co-exist with it (happily) – especially with my own, equally complex, female ego. I don’t know if it’s a huge problem for me in dating but in relationships I think it can be.

What do you understand about the male ego? Ladies, what did you learn about them from the men in your lives? Are you ever confused by a man’s ego?

Guys, what is the best advice you can give women to handle your egos? Do you think women try to manipulate or control your egos?

What role does it play in how you value yourself as a man? What is the biggest misconception about male egos?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

325 comments Add your comment

Celisea

January 28th, 2011
12:26 pm

A. I. American Idol

Leggs

January 28th, 2011
12:32 pm

:lol: :lol: @ PoppaG!

@Celisea ~ I am digging Steve Tyler. He’s very interesting, empathetic and genuine!

SexyCool

January 28th, 2011
12:32 pm

Celisea – Yeah. I check out the beginning of the season. IF they manage to put someone through PAST Hollywood that has some real talent, I may follow along. But…I have been less than impressed the past few seasons.

AmazonRed™

January 28th, 2011
12:37 pm

Your baby dust delivery to my house must have ended up in my next door neighbor’s box. She is pregnant with twins.

PG – That’s some strong stuff. I thought you boomeranged that shipment back to Raqi which is how she got her little seedling right now. :lol:

Raqi V

January 28th, 2011
12:37 pm

I watched A.I. Wednesday and too thought the pickings are looking quite slim so far.

Celisea

January 28th, 2011
12:40 pm

Leggs – I’m LOVING Steve Tyler…just never really watched or followed him. I like him.

SexyC – I followed with Kelly and Rueben and the dude with the salt and pepper hair but after then it was pretty much just the auditions and then in and out so this is the first time I’ve really watched. They had quite a few folks with really nice voices.

AmazonRed™

January 28th, 2011
12:40 pm

She already has a 2 year grandson. Now, she is expecting 2 new babies of her own

:lol: So clearly those spores struck only those who already had grandkids.

PG – Is she happy? I’d be a lil pissed. :lol:

AmazonRed™

January 28th, 2011
12:40 pm

I wish American Idol will die already. :evil:

Poppa Grande

January 28th, 2011
12:41 pm

How are you, Leggs?

My over 70 year old classmate is now a former classmate. He graduated with JD in December. He is now studying to take the NY bar exam.

You can go back!

Celisea

January 28th, 2011
12:41 pm

I liked the young asian girl, the country singer the chick that cleaned areanas for a living…a couple of others

Poppa Grande

January 28th, 2011
12:44 pm

ARed

Is she happy? I’d be a lil pissed. :lol:

From what I can tell, she appears to be worried more than pissed. She works for the government. The government is making cuts everywhere to make budget. So, she is more worried that this will give them a reason to find a way to cut ties with her.

Raqi V

January 28th, 2011
12:44 pm

I was looking at all of those contestants on A.I. that didn’t make it and stormed off in anger. Why don’t their friends and family save them the embarrassment and tell them don’t try out? There has to be somebody in the family without a hearing problem.

I am no young Whitney Houston but I sound alright. But I am very much aware while spewing a tune when I hit an off key. Some of those folks don’t even hit one on key and they get mad when they are told no.

SexyCool

January 28th, 2011
12:45 pm

When is it ego-stroking versus positive reinforcement?
Patronization versus support?
Insulting versus uplifting?

How do I celebrate what I think is wonderful about you and what keeps me coming back to you without making you think that I’m just blowing smoke up your ass?

Why does it even have to be that deep?

Why can’t it just be what it is?

I like you.
I respect you.
I *get* you.
I want to support you.
I want to be your partner.
I want you to be *able* to find peace, love, joy, renewal, reinforcement, protection, agreement and whatever else you need in me AT THE POINT that you NEED it.
You may not need it from me all the time, but when you do…am I wrong to want to be there for you in whatever way you need to the best of my ability? Just because I’m feeling you like that? Because that’s the kind of partner that I’ve determined that I’m going to be?

What gives?

SexyCool

January 28th, 2011
12:47 pm

I like the black chick raised by older white parents, the little chunky kid and a few others so far.

Poppa Grande

January 28th, 2011
12:47 pm

Raqi

That’s some strong stuff. I thought you boomeranged that shipment back to Raqi which is how she got her little seedling right now.

Yeah, that is some strong stuff.

In an effort of full disclosure, I must admit that I watch Fox News, CNN, and MSNBC for the sole purpose to see if Raqi has been caught and charged as a biological terrorist for mailing that stuff. :lol:

Until that day, I go to the mailbox wearing a surgical mask and latex gloves.

Raqi V

January 28th, 2011
12:48 pm

I’d be a lil pissed

AmazonR, why? One thing about making baby number 2, 3 or 4, you know good and well how they come to be. LOL

That’s about like me telling the hub now it’s all his fault when I am more than positive I was there laying under him with my legs wrapped around him when it happened.

SlimNumeroUno

January 28th, 2011
12:49 pm

‘I’ve seen him live before, and I was more upset about losing that hour of my life than losing the money’

PoppaG – Duly noted….um…don’t want to spend $$ to not laugh. I can do that at work for free

Poppa Grande

January 28th, 2011
12:51 pm

Raqi

Why don’t their friends and family save them the embarrassment and tell them don’t try out?

I can answer that for you with two words: William Hung

I haven’t watched American Idol since the Clay Aiken vs. Ruben Studdard final. But even I know who William “She Bangs” Hung is. Some people will do anything for infamy.

Celisea

January 28th, 2011
12:51 pm

Heeeey, where’s my post?! I didn’t say anything bad. As I was saying, I grew up singing and it was nothing for me and sibs to break out harmonizing while doing nothing. I was about 10 when my brother sang Everything Must Change with a flute to accompany. I almost cried. My mama cried.

Raqi V

January 28th, 2011
12:51 pm

How do I celebrate what I think is wonderful about you and what keeps me coming back to you without making you think that I’m just blowing smoke up your ass?

SexyCool, that is an excellent question!!!!!!

Poppa Grande

January 28th, 2011
12:53 pm

Slim…

I just wanted to weigh in. Note that I said that it was a long time ago. It was at Chris Tucker’s old club in the RIo Mall. He may be better. That night he ventured into the taboo land of granny’s having sex, and wondered why no one laughed.

AmazonRed™

January 28th, 2011
12:54 pm

AmazonR, why?

Cuz that’s another 18 year sentence… she only had 4 more years to freedom. :lol: Now the clock resets.

But yeah, certainly it’s their own fault. :lol: And perhaps they were trying for it!

AmazonRed™

January 28th, 2011
12:56 pm

But additionally Raqi, you know I’m different on the baby thing. The present I plan on giving to myself on my 36th birthday is having my tubes tied (if I’m still single by then with no man in sight)

SexyCool

January 28th, 2011
12:56 pm

And you may deny that you have ego til Je.sus comes or call, but you cannot deny pride.

I don’t care how you color it, disrespect, in any form in which YOU perceive it, is a bruise to the ego in much the same way as it is a blow to the pride.

kimmie

January 28th, 2011
12:57 pm

PG – Thanks!

cba

January 28th, 2011
12:57 pm

SC@12:45, Just DAMN, now that’s what I’m talking about :-)

DreamsMaterialize

January 28th, 2011
12:57 pm

So what is everyone doing this weekend? It’s supposed to be beautiful out there.

Celisea

January 28th, 2011
12:58 pm

Cuz that’s another 18 year sentence… she only had 4 more years to freedom. Now the clock resets.

I ain’t gonna lie…this is how I’d feel if I got preggers right about now, seeing I have a child 2 months shy of turning 16. Can’t say I wouldn’t do again but he’d have to be dang freaking magically wonderful.

Raqi V

January 28th, 2011
12:58 pm

having my tubes tied

Then you will have a reason to be p!ssed. LOL

Dan - Simply...Superior

January 28th, 2011
12:59 pm

@SC

Not at all.

As PG said, and I’ve repeated, it’s about the man.

I’m not one to vent unless I’ve had my limit and no release (gym), more often than not, I’m “processing”.

My girl wants to vent, she doesn’t want to offer suggestions or solve anything, just listen.

We’ve had that discussion, made our decisions. Again, knowing you, I’m sure that you have had that convo as well.

SexyCool

January 28th, 2011
1:00 pm

DreamsMat – I am house hunting (again.)
Changed my mind about the first house I made an offer on – wanted to do more looking.
Got outbid on the second one – suuuu-huuuxxxx.

I have about 5 more I’m trying to see this weekend.

AmazonRed™

January 28th, 2011
1:01 pm

So what is everyone doing this weekend? It’s supposed to be beautiful out there.

The Trumpet Awards are this weekend. But I don’t know if I feel like getting pretty’d up for it. Winter maintence on the body isn’t as frequent as it is in the warmer months. There will be a lot to do. :lol:

SexyCool

January 28th, 2011
1:01 pm

Um…yeah…no, I didn’t follow that.

Raqi V

January 28th, 2011
1:01 pm

he’d have to be dang freaking magically wonderful

At least most of the time he is. LOL And I think he has questions about when I feel that he isn’t. Especially while I am pregnant.

AmazonRed™

January 28th, 2011
1:02 pm

Celisea – Glad you feel me. :lol:

Dan - Simply...Superior

January 28th, 2011
1:02 pm

@Raqi

Are you pregnant again? If so, Mazeltov!!

SlimNumeroUno

January 28th, 2011
1:02 pm

PG – The RIO MALL!!!???? OMG, I remember that…dayum that was ages ago. lol

Leggs

January 28th, 2011
1:03 pm

@PoppaG ~ it’s funny you gave me that update because your 70 yr old “former” classmate has crossed my mind a few times. And, I’ve been in contact with GSU College of Law. We shall see. My biggest block is $$ and getting lil leggs to college. I am entertaining some things!

Thanks for asking. I’m doing doing great!

Celisea

January 28th, 2011
1:03 pm

Raqi – At least most of the time he is. LOL And I think he has questions about when I feel that he isn’t. Especially while I am pregnant.

Oh, I’m sure for you…that’s just what I’d have to be getting to pop out another…having an almost 16 year old. I mean almost walking on water…that’s a lot of work

Raqi V

January 28th, 2011
1:03 pm

I’m “processing”

We buy that ’bout as much as you men buy us reacting because we are PMSing. You need more people dude. LOL

kimmie

January 28th, 2011
1:04 pm

SCool – Yeah, you shut it down with that 12:45.

Poppa – That’s the truth you posted about learning your mate. It’s just like with my employees. Some need constant reassurance and handholding. Some are okay with a pat on the back every now & then. Others, if they don’t see the “appreciation” in the form of a raise on their paycheck, you can keep the pretty words.

Just gotta learn people. Then, either you can hang or you can’t.

AmazonRed™

January 28th, 2011
1:04 pm

Um…yeah…no, I didn’t follow that.

:lol:

Dan - Simply...Superior

January 28th, 2011
1:05 pm

@SC

“am I wrong to want to be there for you in whatever way you need to the best of my ability?” @ 12:45

Poppa Grande

January 28th, 2011
1:05 pm

AmazonRed…

And perhaps they were trying for it!

Maybe or maybe not….the neighbor’s husband (he may be an ex-husband now) is a guest of the state of Georgia and has been since 2005.

She did something with somebody, though.

Celisea

January 28th, 2011
1:05 pm

ARed – Celisea – Glad you feel me

All day long on the baby thing. Can’t see myself chasing around a tot…I’m LOVING where I am now. If I can just get her grown and gown it would be even better.

AmazonRed™

January 28th, 2011
1:05 pm

I mean almost walking on water…that’s a lot of work

:lol:

abc

January 28th, 2011
1:05 pm

How do I celebrate what I think is wonderful about you and what keeps me coming back to you without making you think that I’m just blowing smoke up your ass?

By not blowing smoke up his azz. It’s really not as complicated as yall are making it out to be. Here’s the deal: give up your preconceived notions about what [a, the] man’s ego is all about, and just be your genuine self. If he doesn’t seem very approachable at times, then leave him alone at those times.

Guaranteed, if you don’t seem very approachable, chances are the man will just plain leave you alone, and be happy to do so.

AmazonRed™

January 28th, 2011
1:06 pm

We buy that ’bout as much as you men buy us reacting because we are PMSing. You need more people dude. LOL

:idea:

Dan - Simply...Superior

January 28th, 2011
1:06 pm

@Raqi

I’m processing the issue, my reactions, and the chain of events based on a given reaction.

It’s a chess match sometimes for me

SlimNumeroUno

January 28th, 2011
1:07 pm

SexyCool (re 12:45) Good arse question/post

Dreams – I think i may venture out to the Battle of the Bands Saturday w/my cuzzo. The beau will be in Bama hunting before the season ends. (Git errrr done!)