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Liquid courage required to date?

There are a lot of “social crutches” people tend to lean on in dating these days. Some people seem to think that they need alcohol to help them feel at ease. I think this is partly why a bar can be a bad place to meet someone for the first time. You don’t know if you are getting a really good “sober” representation of their personality (Let’s not forget beer goggles).

To be honest, drinking doesn’t always give you liquid courage. It can actually change your personality…for the worse. It’s amazing to meet people who have gone through life not realizing that when they drink too much their behavior is awful.

What is your drinking policy for dating? Do you date drinkers?

Do you limit your alcohol intake when you are on a date?

Has anyone ever told you that you behave differently when you have had a couple of drinks?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

200 comments Add your comment

Varinia

January 27th, 2011
7:04 am

I rarely drink and I found that many men are bothered by that.

Does my personality change?
Well, I’m kind of a loner and when I do drink I become more outgoing.

Do I date drinkers?
I think that depends on what you define as drinkers?
An alcoholic? Probably not.
Someone that has a beer to 2 at night, or a glass of wine – sure.

Lady

January 27th, 2011
8:32 am

Good Morning Good People! :)

~truly glad my “bar” days are behind me………a distored venue to meet someone IMHO……….and from experiences……….

Have a productive day! ;)

Y'all Are Kids

January 27th, 2011
8:46 am

The problem with dating someone you meet in a bar is that you’re now dating someone who hangs out in bars and in my experience, that’s not a good personality to associate with. I like the occasional adult beverage and enjoy sharing that with someone similar, non-drinkers are ok too. It’s the party girl who gets “tipsy” whenever alcohol is available that I avoid. People who need crutches are weak and unpredictable. And that’s all I got to say about that.

SlimNumeroUno

January 27th, 2011
8:54 am

Top of the morning to all

‘What is your drinking policy for dating? Do you date drinkers?’
Clearly I wouldn’t want to date an alcoholic but in same token, I wouldn’t want to date a person who DIDN’T drink. I like to partake of the adult spirits and it would make me a bit uncomfortable to be the only one drinking in a relationship with a non-drinker.

As far as alcohol intake on a date, I would probably just have one, but not more than two drinks…depending on if it was a lunch date or not. However, there has been one time that I had one too many shots when out with someone…wouldn’t have called it a ‘date’ tho. :lol:

As far as my drinking personality, I am just more lovey dovey, laugh more, dance more, more social etc…so all in all, i’m a happy drunk. So instead of getting SlimOne…you’re getting Slim-squared ;-)

Ugly Betty

January 27th, 2011
8:59 am

I have to date drinkers – sober guys take one look at me and run away.

Dan - Simply...Superior

January 27th, 2011
9:09 am

@Y’all

Bars or coffee houses, places where people congregate to engage in general activities are all the same

(ie “why don’t we get together and eat some caramels, which when you think about it is as abitrary as drinking coffee” – Will Hunting)

My point is, wether you meet someone for drinks, at a driving range, shooting range or bowling alley, the venue should be a common social setting, with a lot of people (for the comfort of both parties); and the activity that you all engage in is just as arbitrary.

For example: I’ve had dates at bowling alleys where we ended up playing video games at the arcade and never bowled a frame, likewise with a bar and karoake (sp?).

kimmie

January 27th, 2011
9:23 am

Good morning! The weekend is ALMOST here!!Yay!!!

I like an occasion drink in a social setting. My SO does too. I agree with Slim that it is a bit uncomfortable when you are the only one drinking. I’ve been in that setting before, have a few friends that are that way. Those that don’t I’ve found, especially if it’s for religious reasons, tend to give you that disapproving look. I hate that because I don’t believe in public drunkeness! I find sometimes it’s lack of sophistication that you don’t drink but you have a problem with someone ordering a simple glass of wine in your presence. That’s my opinion. Anyway, I feel relaxed and more chatty when I’ve had a few but that’s it. In fact, if I’m not moving around I tend to get sleepy! :)

I was good friends with a couple who were recovering alcoholics. I even went with them to an AA meeting. If that is your situation, I definitely respect that. I have no problem with alcohol-free activities and parties!

just me

January 27th, 2011
9:29 am

Kimmee….. you don’t believe in public drunkeness? It exists, I swear.

AmazonRed™

January 27th, 2011
9:31 am

Morning all -

I drink. I do it in moderation (as with everything else in life). I do actually prefer drinkers, because the non-drinkers I meet are kind of stuck up about it. It be different if I got drunk or couldn’t handle my liquor. I don’t even really drink when I’m at home, bottles of wine go bad, it takes years for me to go though a bottle of Goose (keep it for company) :lol: . So why would you encourage me to quit? *shrugs*

Leggs

January 27th, 2011
9:32 am

Good morning!

I prefer to date someone who doesn’t mind having an occasional drink or 2, but not alkies. On a date, I would limit myself to 2 drinks. I’ll never forget the time I went overboard while out on a date. Had a great time, but too much to drink. And, you’re right WD, liquid couarge definitely can backfire and instead of making you more outgoing, will turn you into a meanie. I stay clear of those folk.

Sam

January 27th, 2011
9:34 am

And when I woke up in the morning
Opened my eyes and I saw you
And I had to think about it
What did I say? What did I do?

So there’s no understanding
Before I dive into your cup
I never said that I would love you
I said I’d love to fill you up

Dating for love or dating for other?

January 27th, 2011
9:34 am

if she drinks caipirinas – then I know she’s for me baby

AmazonRed™

January 27th, 2011
9:38 am

caipirinas

Those are great!

Sassy Me :-)

January 27th, 2011
9:42 am

I imbibe and would rather date someone who did the same and on the flip,I don’t want to date an alkie or a lush who gets plastered in public. I’ve gone out with persons who didn’t drink and it felt kinda awkward and they tended to look down their noses at it.

Mornting Y’all!! :mrgreen:

kimmie

January 27th, 2011
9:43 am

just me – I know it does, I just don’t do it!LOL!! Especially since I’ve finished college and grown up!!

Amred – Yes, they are very stuck up about it. That’s what I was trying to say in my post!

SlimNumeroUno

January 27th, 2011
10:08 am

I have a buddy who is dating a chick that disproves of drinking…and he is a big social drinker. He said, they’ll be out and she’ll trip on him if he even has ONE beer.

czBrat

January 27th, 2011
10:19 am

Hola!

got a few minutes to play today. it wouldn’t matter much to me if my date drank (in moderation) or not as long as no one is passing judgment on the other’s choice. like leggs, i really can’t go beyond one drink anyway because i either get sleepy or silly.

The problem with dating someone you meet in a bar is that you’re now dating someone who hangs out in bars and in my experience, that’s not a good personality to associate with.
but YOU were at the bar too. am i missing something :?:

AmazonRed™

January 27th, 2011
10:21 am

but YOU were at the bar too. am i missing something

:lol:

4xtra

January 27th, 2011
10:28 am

I think it is TOTALY accetable to be a “occasionally” drinker.
Its when you allow the alcohol to control YOU rather than you control the alcohol.
And some of you are right…if you go out with a non drinker that is a very uncomfortable situation/date to be in.
Some of the non drinkrs like at you like your a homeless drunk person or something.

i'm swiss™

January 27th, 2011
10:30 am

Morning everybody…

On topic: Okay, now you know my people love to drink… So there’s no way I could date a total non-drinker (though Mrs. Swiss isn’t much of a drinker, beyond wine — though she does like a good apple martini & she’ll drink DiSaronno like it’s water…)

As for whether it changes my personality… well, I do become much more talkative after a drink or two. (I’m actually pretty quiet & reserved in person when sober, believe it or not — of course, I always blog drunk, so you folks see the uninhibited swiss…) :lol:

i'm swiss™

January 27th, 2011
10:32 am

Drunk and sans pants, I should add…

Drink it in, ladies… drink it in…

Leggs

January 27th, 2011
10:35 am

@SlimNU ~ your friend needs to cut his losses now or stop drinking. It will be the bane of most of their arguments. I would want to pop someone if they got on my case because I had ONE beer while out.

Kym

January 27th, 2011
10:37 am

Good Morning All,

I am a social drinker..i have a low tolerance for alcohol can’t stand the taste of wine(i tried) so two drinks and I am done. I would date a person who didn’t drink-just so long as they were tolerant of the fact that I come from a family that does drink. Now my people will not be sloppy drunks but they are gonna have them some Crown..so if that is a problem..oh well.

Off-Topic ..okay so I am always reading or listening to something and today I discovered(like it was lost ha) The Brooklyn Free School. This American life did a show called Kid Politics and this school well..lets just say the kids run the school. It was really interesting and called me surprised but they actually do a fairly decent job of it. Anyway..this is the schools background and I wondered what some of the parents out there thought about the idea of a Free School.

The Brooklyn Free School is dedicated to the belief that all students must be free to develop naturally as human beings in a non-coercive educational environment and empowered to make decisions affecting their everyday lives and that of their community.

The school has accepted students aged 5 through 15, and is serving students up to 18 years of age. Students are not segregated by age. There is no set curriculum except the establishment of an all-inclusive democratic system that runs the school, and the communication of that system to all members of the school.

There are no compulsory grades, assessments or homework. The students are in charge of their own learning and progress and are able to adequately assess themselves and perform any additional work or learning outside of the school that they want to in line with their interests.

The school strives to provide a multi-disciplinary, reality-based/project-based and applied learning approach to further the student’s understanding and appreciation of interests that they are pursuing. This includes the use of a varied and differentiated assortment of learning materials, supplies and resources, as well as frequent trips to visit individuals, organizations, businesses, and/or communities in the New York Metropolitan area that can enlighten and enrich students’ understanding, knowledge and experience in a given area of interest.

Kym

January 27th, 2011
10:40 am

Yeah I know the post is long..but since we have been talking about kids all week..just go with it people.

i'm swiss™

January 27th, 2011
10:57 am

Dang, Kym… I think you shut this mutha down with that post… :lol:

AmazonRed™

January 27th, 2011
10:59 am

i'm swiss™

January 27th, 2011
11:02 am

ARed — If you fall asleep, we’re gonna take dirty pictures of you & post them on Facebook…

Sassy Me :-)

January 27th, 2011
11:03 am

Purple Rain

January 27th, 2011
11:05 am

I don’t mind if a person drinks, it only is an issue with me when they are dependent or “need” a drink daily in order to relax or function.

AmazonRed™

January 27th, 2011
11:05 am

Swiss – Wouldn’t be the first time… :oops:

:lol:

i'm swiss™

January 27th, 2011
11:07 am

“Swiss – Wouldn’t be the first time…”

ARed — I know…

What? Too creepy? :lol:

Celisea

January 27th, 2011
11:07 am

During my pregnancy, I had so many things “I couldn’t do” from watching my sugar intake (gestational diabetes) to no caffeine so, after going so long with “no alcohol”, I never went back….albeit I’m still a coffee drinker….love love love a really “good” cup. Anyway, I didn’t really drink before but after cohabitation with a drinker I would have one from time to time with him and sometimes during girls night out. Honestly I’m not bothered one bit but someone that will have an occasional drink at dinner or at home even though I don’t. Just no alkies though!

Celisea

January 27th, 2011
11:08 am

Too, sometime alcohol loosens things up a bit but really all you need is the right time, person and place to shake things up a bit and help you get loose if that’s what you need.

Celisea

January 27th, 2011
11:09 am

by someone not but someone

Celisea

January 27th, 2011
11:09 am

slow in here today….

Sassy Me :-)

January 27th, 2011
11:16 am

slow in here today….

Yeah it’s moving like cold molasses…

AmazonRed™

January 27th, 2011
11:19 am

I needed it to be slow in here yesterday when I was in meetings all day! I have more time today. :lol:

i'm swiss™

January 27th, 2011
11:20 am

I will say this… adding alcohol to someone who has bi-polar tendencies in the first place is quite a thing to behold…

My best friend’s ex wife was like this… by day (when sober), an evangelical preacher’s daughter (the root of her issues, IMO), very prim & proper… by night (with a touch of booze), quite possibly the biggest freak I’ve ever personally witnessed… :lol: I mean this girl did things that even made me blush… :lol:

Kym

January 27th, 2011
11:20 am

Well I tried..I mean we could always go back to the old women vs men stuff we do regularly.

AmazonRed™

January 27th, 2011
11:27 am

Yeah, this ain’t MOMania. :lol:

i'm swiss™

January 27th, 2011
11:28 am

Kym — RE: the school you referenced… I always wonder about schools like that: how do those kids function outside of that “free” environment, when they have to perform within a more rigid, structured workplace, for example…? Somehow, I have a hard time seeing those kids being able to tolerate most corporate environments. Not that this is a bad thing — I can’t stand the typical corporate BS myself, which is why I tend to gravitate to start-ups / small techie companies…

Raqi V

January 27th, 2011
11:29 am

Liquid Courage…

I am laughing remembering those days of shooing away the ones that had obviously had one too many. LOL The group I ran with, we would be at a party or bar or whatever those guys that would be in plenty that were for sure being fueled by something other than their testosterone and my pretty face.

Raqi V

January 27th, 2011
11:32 am

Kym, seriously? That is not an environment that I would allow my children to be in. How can you leave kids to choose their own paths when they have no real idea what lies ahead? Remember when we were kids and we thought we knew everything about everything? Remember how many times that got us into deep crappola?

The reason schools are structured as they are is because it’s what children need in their developing years. It’s not only about education but it’s about learning discipline and direction. Learning that there is a course of life and there are certain base eliminates that have to be learned in order to properly follow that course.

That’s what college is for. That’s the time freedom to choose your path is granted. However my son knows if he starts slacking I am pulling the plug and he will definitely be on his own then.

i'm swiss™

January 27th, 2011
11:33 am

Hmmm…. maybe we need a blog drinking game?

cba

January 27th, 2011
11:33 am

maybe everyday is not a misadventure ;-)

i'm swiss™

January 27th, 2011
11:35 am

“That’s what college is for. That’s the time freedom to choose your path is granted”

Raqi — Actually, college is pretty darn structured, as well. You can choose your major, but within each course, it’s the prof’s way or the highway for the most part… BTW, I tend to agree with you on these unstructured, touchy-feely schools. I’m not sold on them…

SlimNumeroUno

January 27th, 2011
11:36 am

Yall say it’s slow as molasses in here…so let’s spice it up because you know molasses flows more easily once you add some Fiya to it ;-)

Any embarrassing stories of “When Alcohol Went Wrong”, whether it was a personal story or someone else you know???

I’m swiss – Please just choose ONE story to give everyone else a chance to post….cuz I know yo crazy arse has probably got an arsenal of stories :lol:

Purple Rain

January 27th, 2011
11:36 am

Swiss, I am more interested in what your friends ex wife would do and how did you know? LOL

Purple Rain

January 27th, 2011
11:38 am

Alcohol gone wrong, peeing on the hood of a police care and when the cops starts to chase me I could not stop my pee from flowing. So I am running with my wang out and pee just still flowing. I got away though :)

czBrat

January 27th, 2011
11:38 am

teaching kids to be independent thinkers and leaders comes back to bite ya. it’s a wonderful thing, true enough, but i’m tellin you ….

btw, just moved thing 2 to her own place intown this past weekend (she has two roomies), it was a ‘tug on the heartstrings’ moment, but i’m really, really proud of her. independent thinker indeed.