Break-up or get married?

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January 25th, 2011
6:03 am

[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Downtown Atlanta, Atlanta Real Time. Atlanta Real Time said: Break-up or get married?: I remember back in high school when I was dating my first love senior year. Everyone would… http://dlvr.it/F2hXH [...]

Kym-The Steelers are the AFC Champs!

January 25th, 2011
7:52 am

Good Morning All,

Thanks for opening the blog early for us early risers. I don’t remember hearing this type of talk in highschool at all. I stated before on the blog there are plenty of couples who have successful relationships without getting married at all and the trend lately has been leaning more toward long term relationships rather than getting married. So why is there a time frame at all? No, I don’t think the idea of a long term relationship is some kind of death nail. To quote my cousin regarding her situation.”If it ain’t broke, why fix it?”

While I am not leading toward a battle of the married vs the long term committed folks on the blog. I guess I will throw out the first arrow and ask..so tell me again what makes marriage so great?

SlimNumeroUno

January 25th, 2011
8:12 am

Good morning,

Is it just me or did we have a decorating fairy come in and revamp the place overnight?

SlimNumeroUno

January 25th, 2011
8:15 am

Nevermind, I must’ve had crutt still in my eyes…it was just a fluke…

Y'all Are Kids

January 25th, 2011
8:48 am

I’m with Kym. Not on the Steelers part, the other. If it ain’t broke don’t fix it. I’ve been in a serious committed relationship for 6 years. We live together and get along awesome. We are thinking of getting married, but can’t come up with a good reason why. Maybe it’s because we don’t care what other people think? I say if you’re happy, don’t mess with it. If you’re not, certainly don’t get married!

PrincessNik

January 25th, 2011
8:51 am

Good Morning

What do you think is a realistic and reasonable time frame to determine if there is a future?

I think that each individual person will have a different answer for this question. Only YOU know how long you are willing to “hang in there”.

Do you think it’s a bad sign if there is no “future” talk in a relationship after you have been exclusively dating?

Again I think this is going to be different for each individual. For me I think that if you desire a “solid” long term relationship or marriage that at some point “future” talk is a must.

SlimNumeroUno

January 25th, 2011
8:51 am

Like Oprah said, whenever you get that feeling to get married and start harping on all the hooplah of that ‘day’…go out and buy yourself a new fab dress and throw a kick arse party. lol

Now I told yall my co-workers for whatever reason have been joking about me getting married for the last few weeks…even went so far as to put a Briday Mag on my desk Friday, and you know I did look in it. Have to admit, I did see one dress that speaks to me.

Kym-The Steelers are the AFC Champs!

January 25th, 2011
8:57 am

@Slim well then see if you can’t get a cocktail version and go to Friday night jazz at Fernbank or the High wearing it. LOL

I am with Oprah..buy yourself a present. I love a nice present especially one I get myself.

Dan - Simply...Superior

January 25th, 2011
8:57 am

Here’s the thing,

You can’t really let the expectations of others (friends, family, society) define you or your relationship.

The funny part is that most of the people popping all this jazz are either forever single, divorced, or unhappy.

You ever notice that happy people don’t really care about how you living?

Fion

January 25th, 2011
8:58 am

Marriage is not a reaction to a relationship, but rather the evolution of it.

Kym-The Steelers are the AFC Champs!

January 25th, 2011
8:58 am

Oh but I will accept a present too..I mean I am not turning down free. LOL

PrincessNik

January 25th, 2011
9:02 am

I’m with you Dan which is why i said its up to the individual. I know what I want but I don’t try to push that off on anybody else. I say DO YOU, but be sure you are doing you and not what everyone wants you to do.

Kimmy

January 25th, 2011
9:03 am

GM,
I dated someone on and off for 4 years. I cared for him dearly, but at a point I didn’t need to know if you thought I was “THE ONE”, but rather if you knew for sure that I was “NOT THE ONE”. I told him to go all in or go away. I wasn’t looking for a ring, but rather that he wanted to really make it work. I just feel like at some point all you are doing is wasting time and keeping each other from meeting the people you are suppose to be with. At some point you need to take a hard look at the relationship and stop kidding yourself.

SlimNumeroUno

January 25th, 2011
9:05 am

Kym – Go idea lol

SlimNumeroUno

January 25th, 2011
9:09 am

GOOD not go

q

January 25th, 2011
9:13 am

First of all, is the long term relationship one in which the two are cohabitating[living together]? I read it in the obits all the time the deceased is survived by a companion or long time friend. I guess what we are talking ABOUT HERE are a couple maybe in their late teens or early twenties. It really all comes down to, if you really loved me we would get married, always comes down to that. When that happens, the other party says, I would like to commit myself to a 5 year marital agreement with option to renew. Certainly, after 5 years you will know if this is the right one. Then, if it is, marriage is a viable alternative. Love is very uncomplicated, it is like a Big Mac, once you have the right ingredients, you will know it. This 5 year marital agreement is going to be very popular and it was my idea, i want a patent.

LovelyBee

January 25th, 2011
9:17 am

Marriage is AMAZING, if you’re married to the right person, as in the person you truly feel that you cannot live without. There is some type of magic when you not only tell the person you love that they are the one for you, but you also tell everyone one you know. You’re so proud that you want to shout it from the roof tops. Love can do that.

If one person within the relationship is concerned about marriage, then there is a time frame. If both people are not concerned, then there is not a time frame, and they have a door number three. They can date forever and ever, if it suits them. Why not?

Kym-The Steelers are the AFC Champs!

January 25th, 2011
9:19 am

@q I don’t think this idea of long term relationships is just for the twenty-something crowd. I am in my late 30’s never married and I would welcome a long term relationship over marriage.

Old Man

January 25th, 2011
9:23 am

I’ve been married to my wife for wife 60 years and we make love almost every night. Almost on Monday, almost on Tuesday, and etc…….

something to say

January 25th, 2011
9:23 am

Kimmy i totally agree with you….it comes a time in your life where you have to revaluate where you are and where you want to be. Marriage is not for everybody and because you are married doesn’t mean you will live happily ever after. If two people want to be married and has been in a relationship for a very long time. It’s time to move on. I have two kids with a man that I’ve been in relationship with for 9 years. I speak for myself and only myself its time to move on because we are blocking each other’s blessings.

Dan - Simply...Superior

January 25th, 2011
9:24 am

@q

If the person loved you they would have to get married. Not everyone shares that desire to be married.

Think of it as more of a condition of loving you, or a condition for you as opposed to projecting that on anyone else.

Looking4 Purpose

January 25th, 2011
9:41 am

I believe it’s all in your values.

Kym-The Steelers are the AFC Champs!

January 25th, 2011
9:43 am

@4Purpose..Could you provide a more indepth explaination of your statement. What exactly do you mean by in your values?

Raqi V

January 25th, 2011
9:52 am

Speaking strictly today from a beliefs stance (spiritual and/or religious) marriage is more than just what society thinks should happen. It’s the right thing to do.

I was having a conversation with my dad over the Thanksgiving Holidays, a man who truly and only believe that you date to marry. He was saying just in general people are turned off these days at doing what’s right. Not right by society or even family standards but right according to what was established by The Almighty for men and women to do.

So many try to put it off on defying what society says should be done but very few consider what God says should be done. And before any one says it I know for those that choose not to believe in God and the way he has stated what is approved by him, it does not matter. I get that. You have that right.

However, as one that chooses to believe I state my stance today.

My husband and I dated for 4 years and I never really knew if he and I would get married. I knew I wanted a future with him and he stated many times he wanted a future with me. But in even considering in my mind that he may never ask me to marry him I still believed marriage is right. And honorable.

Now that I have gotten that out of the way I will give my opinion on the topic. I do believe marriage to be the ultimate commitment between a man and a woman. I don’t view marriage as the road where a relationship ends up at but rather the path where it truly begins.

Just my opinion

January 25th, 2011
9:53 am

I don’t think marriage is for everyone. But I would probably commit to someone after a period of time simply because the next level in a long term relationship is marriage. Living together and doing all the things that married couples do….most times you are more than 1/2 half way there.

If I love someone, I would also want to build a life together financially and so on and in today’s society it is easier to do as a married couple. Hell most of us have a license for the dog….shots etc why not claim the woman we sleep next to every night.

Just my opinion

Raqi V

January 25th, 2011
9:53 am

Looking4, I agree. It’s pretty much based on your values. What you choose to believe.

DreamsMaterialize

January 25th, 2011
9:55 am

Morning
Determine what it is that makes you happy and do that. If marriage will contribute to your overall happiness, then go all out for that. If not, then don’t waste your effort.

Raqi V

January 25th, 2011
9:57 am

Somethingtosay, I agree that marriage is not for everyone just like everyone isn’t for marriage. But IMO those facts does not take away the establish of matrimony that was set up from the beginning.

Raqi V

January 25th, 2011
9:57 am

I have seen many relationships over the years where when marriage is not an option or eventually presented on the table the couple decides to go their separate ways.

I often wonder, and some of you can answer if you want, if you are really okay with having the long term exclusive emotional bond to one and only one, why the aversion to marriage?

No you don’t need marriage to be committed to someone but why not bind yourself legally, and for those who believe, before God to the one you say is your one and only.

And no marriage does not guarantee happiness or that your mate will always remain, however not getting married does not guarantee it either.

abc

January 25th, 2011
9:59 am

“Having a future” needn’t include getting married. That viewpoint is more likely to run guys off than allow them to consider marriage. If both parties commit to each other, then it obviously involves the future. If both parties cannot, then just as plainly, the future is uncertain. If there’s commitment, marriage is an option. If there’s not commitment, then marriage shouldn’t be an option, and if marriage is what you want, then break up. Not exactly rocket science.

PrincessNik

January 25th, 2011
10:03 am

I am in my late 30’s never married and I would welcome a long term relationship over marriage.

Kym If you don’t mind me asking, why is that ?

Celisea

January 25th, 2011
10:05 am

Fion – Marriage is not a reaction to a relationship, but rather the evolution of it.

I like this statement….I believe it should be done because it’s what what God instituted and recognizes. It speaks to me that your intentions are until death, through the good the bad and the uglies. Too, I believe the blessings are in store for lives that are lived in accordance (to the best of our ability) with his plans. That’s not to say good things won’t happen to us all (as he reigns over us all…whether we believe or not…every man’s choice, every man’s right) but he himself honors and respect those that adhere and honor and respect what he’s given to mankind as a guage for living. Essentially it’s what God recognizes…I cohabitated before and no matter “how good” it was, it or gets it’s not recognized in the sight of God as a union. And while I’ve been guilty it’s considered too, a life of fornication.

Dan - Simply...Superior

January 25th, 2011
10:06 am

@Raqi

How is a long term exclusive emotional bond not marriage?

For some, the institution and the act are the same, for more people it’s not.

If I make a committment to my lady that doesn’t involve the State or the church, how is that any less valid than if it did?

Celisea

January 25th, 2011
10:07 am

But essentially, we can date until…until we decide what we’re going to do…either make it right or leave it alone but nothing infinite will occur

Celisea

January 25th, 2011
10:09 am

Oh…morning

something to say

January 25th, 2011
10:09 am

@raqi I totally agree with you

Kym-The Steelers are the AFC Champs!

January 25th, 2011
10:12 am

@Raqi I get what you are saying and I understand for some people they feel that at some point God is going to punish them for all their sins if they don’t follow thru. But I truly believe that we all have our walk with God and only we can truly go to God for what is right for us. So while the Almighty might have laid on your heart to marry as being what is right for you. Who is to say that is what God is laying on the hearts of everyone out there?
In other words we really need to work on not imposing our beliefs on others. Because we have no idea what their journey is all about.

Fion

January 25th, 2011
10:16 am

@ Celisea, Thanks !

The problem with Marriage is, you’ve got to many people that never should have done it!
To many bad sales people out there tryin to endorse the product with JACKED-UP Lives!
.

Celisea

January 25th, 2011
10:17 am

Fion – True, so true

Fion

January 25th, 2011
10:17 am

I meant Shouldn’t have done it.

Raqi V

January 25th, 2011
10:17 am

Too, I believe the blessings are in store for lives that are lived in accordance (to the best of our ability) with his plans.

Celisea, I have to agree with this ^. Like I stated, my hub and I dated for 4 years doing everything married people do outside of living together. However that did change my belief about marriage being right before God. I don’t care what people say in my mind and heart what God established will never be removed from the equation. In the words of my dear husband “you cannot unscramble a scrambled egg”.

People have their different beliefs. But despite even the life I lived I choose to believe some things are just what’s right. I haven’t done every thing by the laws of God and looking forward I know there are things that I will do against what he says but I do have respect for his establishments. Period.

Raqi V

January 25th, 2011
10:19 am

Dan, it’s like piracy. Just because you can get it without going thru the proper channels doesn’t make it right. LOL

DreamsMaterialize

January 25th, 2011
10:21 am

Were Adam and Eve married?

BlackMagicWoman

January 25th, 2011
10:22 am

At one time I was one of those folks that was like “shhh of get off the pot”! If you really love someone there should not be a waiting period. I won’t be your fiancee for years. Then I noticed people that have dated for a year and then got engaged and married by the next year go on to be be happy. I have also seen people date for years, live togther, have a kid and then get married (totally bass ackword) and then they are divorced in 2 years. So now I say…it’s a crapshoot! You never really know someone. You can never say what someone IS capable of or NOT capable of. Who knows…you might be sleeping next to a Craig’s List Killer each night and not know it!

SLIM…as a lover of gorgeous gowns (all my years of pageantry I guess) I see a number of gowns that make me want to have a kick a$$ (Non-legal)wedding & reception. Marriage scares me like clowns! (D@mn that Ronald McDonald!

If I were to marry…I woudl need my own place still. I needs my space! Or we’d have to have a really big house! Again…I need my room where I can be me phi me when I want to be. If I don’t want to be bothered…I don’t need you messing with me trying to make me want to. You will only annoy me further!

Kym-The Steelers are the AFC Champs!

January 25th, 2011
10:26 am

@Princess.I don’t mind at all. I am a recovering commitment phobe(my cousin told me to say that) and really I have watched so many marriages crash and burn because people are working so hard to live up to some image for society or faith based belief. I think that if two people manage to find each other in this looney world and decide they want to make a go of committing to each other for the long haul..why would they need the approval of society or the church?

Celisea

January 25th, 2011
10:26 am

Raqi –

i'm swiss™

January 25th, 2011
10:27 am

“Were Adam and Eve married?”

I believe the talking snake performed the ceremony, no?

Raqi V

January 25th, 2011
10:28 am

Well Kym, I don’t think it a matter of what’s right for each individual when it come to the things God have established. If that’s the case we all can do whatever and say this is what God laid in my heart to do.

All of those guys on the news these days killing their wives, pregnant girlfriends, setting the girlfriends on fire can just as well say it was laid in their hurt to do so by God because “this woman” did something against me that she should not have.

A man’s ways are going to always be right in his own eyes. That’s how people justify what they do. It’s right to me and for me. My personal belief is God would not have given laws and made covenants and establishments if it was okay for us to just do what we want. That’s just how I believe.

The hub and I were talking about the structure of marriage once after coming from church and that being the subject matter. One thing we both agree on is marriage will and can work when lived according to how it was originally established. To say that it can’t is saying that God is flawed or he made a mistake. It’s us people that are flawed.

Whatever Floats Your Boat

January 25th, 2011
10:31 am

It depends on the person and the situation. IMO if you all are just dating and not staying together then the question “where is this relationship going” should be asked. I also think that dating for three-four years (not living together) is long enough for someone to decide if you see forever in that person or not. Dating one-two years is NOT enough time. I think people don’t remember that when you ask someone that’s been married for a long time “how did you all last for so long?” The answer is always communication and he/she is my best friend. It takes years to culminate a best friend and some people never have a best friend (be leary of those people). And communication with your best friend is always refreshing and you can’t wait to tell them things that are going on in your life. Personally I feel that living with someone is a lazy and incompetent way to say ‘hey i like you a whole lot but i feel that there may be someone better that may cross my path’. At least that what I was thinking all through the dating period of my life. I’ve only been married for a little over three years and it’s only great because i never doubt his love for me or his friendship. If you like being alone and not sharing anything tangible or emotional or thought provoking to any other human being then don’t get married.

kimmie

January 25th, 2011
10:34 am

Good morning lovely people! I may as well have an attitude of sunshine, since there is none outside today!

I like Dan’s 8:57 & Raqi’s.

I never look at what’s popular or what the trend is to decide what’s right for my life. “Society” will lead you astray most of the time! I look first to God. Then how I was raised and to what my goals are.

I get that marriage is not for everyone. But I’m not everyone, I’m me. I’ve always had a settled, married mindset, even when not dating anyone seriously. The desire to share my life with the right person and create a home, a family. I was never comfortable with even the thought of living with someone without being married, so that was never on the table as an option for me. I’ve been very patient, never desperate. I was willing to wait as long as it took. I promised my parents I would do it right and I am living up to that promise, even though they are no longer with me.

I’ve been threatened that if I didn’t shack with a certain guy he would never marry me. I sent him on his way to find someone whose values were more in line with his.

My SO and I recently got engaged after 3 years of dating. When we began dating, he had just lost his wife a year and a few months earlier. They had been married almost 11 years and had 2 young children. Needless to say, we were not in any rush. We both had the same values as far as marriage, but I wanted him to be READY and SURE. He loved his wife and you don’t just turn that off overnight, even if she did pass away.

I told many well-meaning and not-so-well-meaning friends and associates that I was sorry that we were not doing things according to THEIR timetable! We started getting pressure to marry about 5 months into dating! One friend kept mysteriously calling me to pray with her and get me to go on a fast because as she said, there must be SOMETHING holding him back from proposing to me! I fell out with a good friend for about a year because she upset his young kids with talk of replacing their mother’s picture they have up with mine as well as her putting my SO on the spot in front of everyone about “just when are you going to give Kimmie a ring?”! I have had a few, when finding out I’m engaged say, “it’s about time” or “I’m glad you got what you wanted.” As if I would invest years in a person that didn’t want the same things I wanted!

Sorry for the long post! But my biggest piece of advice is to not allow others to spoil your happiness, whatever you choose to do in your relationship!

Kym-The Steelers are the AFC Champs!

January 25th, 2011
10:35 am

@Raqi but each and every faith out there has taken what they believe is the law of God and established it as right, just and holy. From slavery to interracial marriage each and every faith has had all the answers. Most of the time wrong answers..but I digress. I choose to believe..scratch that I know it to be true that if God needs to have a conversation with Kym..because he/she is omnipotent(I love that word) there is no need for an interpreter or mediator. If he/she needs to get to me..he/she knows where I am and the message is pretty clear..straight with no chaser.

BlackMagicWoman

January 25th, 2011
10:43 am

KIMMIE…you are stepping into a big role…a wife and mother. But 3 years has given you great practice. And with him, he had to make sure his young children were ok with him getting married and bringing them a new mom. I am thankful I still have my mom. But I know as a young child to lose your mom…and then dad brings a new lady in (no matter how much time has passed) is hard. For your “friend” to say something about you replacing her was just poor taste and mean! I know you will be a great mom to those kids as well as the ones you have have with him if you choose to. They know that you are not trying to replace mom….just fill in and love them just as much as she did to make sure that they grow up happy and well-loved! I love d the proposal…”will you marry us”? CUTE! Congrats again!

AmazonRed™

January 25th, 2011
10:43 am

Morning all –

I want to be married because that’s what is important to me. I don’t want to have children out of wedlock because that is what is important to me. Period.

But yes, I am a Christian and that does influence my thought process. Yes I could date forever, yes, I could have babies with men who aren’t my husband. I don’t go for that tho.

AmazonRed™

January 25th, 2011
10:44 am

You ever notice that happy people don’t really care about how you living?

Nope. Plenty of happy people, no matter what their relationship status, still have a right to their opinions.

me

January 25th, 2011
10:44 am

“blocking each other’s blessings” Kim but sowing the seeds of messing up the kids’ life!
What’s joker gonna do with the kids after he’s moved on, found another hussy, and the drama level in your life has increased tenfold? How’s your new beau, should you find one, feel about another joker’s kids always running around needing “someone” and you don’t have enough time for him? huh?

people wanna mess around and play around – with no commitment involved – then drop kids like they’re cute little cookies to enjoy yet do NOT consider the consequences of the kids emotional and psychological development. but what do I know. maybe the kids will grow up better developed than the obama children.

or maybe not!

and kim, how many men will come through your bedroom’s revolving door?

me

January 25th, 2011
10:46 am

sorry kim. that was meant for SOMETHING TO SAY

Raqi V

January 25th, 2011
10:47 am

Kym, I asked my parents when I was teenager about all the many religions and beliefs in the world today. I remember my mom telling me to look and she what religions/faiths/beliefs I read about in the bible. I found Judaism/Hebrew and Christianity/Protestant. She pointed me to where Islam began however showed me where they continually fought against God’s people. So there are only 3 noted in the bible.

So yeah many have come along and branched off from the originals however in doing so I believe they altered the laws and beliefs to suit what they wanted for them.

Many of those religions serve idols which is against the laws of God.

atlmom

January 25th, 2011
10:56 am

I think that if you want to have kids, you should probably get married. I guess that’s not PC, but really, it’s better for everyone overall. If not, well, then, if everyone in the relationship is happy with where it is, wherever that is, then don’t worry about what anyone else thinks…

cba

January 25th, 2011
10:57 am

Yesterday was my 30th and I agree with Raqi’s 9:52. I could post that everyday with her has been like living on cloud 9 but I don’t like BSing. If you believe in the teachings of the bible, you would know man is imperfect. Adam and Eve took care of that. So if we are ALL imperfect, from day one, why should you expect marriage or any other components of life to be perfect. However, we can strive to live our lives based on religious/ spritual/ or common sense principals.
This topic reminds me of Neil Boortz not discussing abortion because you are not going to sway anyone opinion; pro or con.

Kym-The Steelers are the AFC Champs!

January 25th, 2011
10:59 am

@Raqi..but that is just it.. there are Eastern beliefs that are often overlooked as if they are not important to our human history. So how do we just discount those faiths and beliefs? They have been around just as long if not longer than the others and many of the themes in Christian religion also exist in Eastern beliefs. How can any society step in an decide that one civilation’s(sp) history is completely wrong?

I say it all the time. The greatest gift and joke every played on the human race was sticking hundreds of nations of people all together on one big blue ball spining in space and saying hey figure out how to live together, cause guess what..the only way you jokers are getting off this ride is you die. Good luck.

DreamsMaterialize

January 25th, 2011
11:01 am

To say that it can’t is saying that God is flawed or he made a mistake. It’s us people that are flawed.
GOD allows HIS creations to be flawed and beset with original sin. Does that make HIM flawed?

So there are only 3 noted in the bible.
That’s because Hebrews got their concepts of religion from other ancient societies that existed long before they did. The Biblical representation of spirituality was not unique.

kimmie

January 25th, 2011
11:03 am

BMW – Thank you so much! Your kind words mean a lot. You get it! I would tell folks all the time, it’s not just about him, it’s the children. They were 4 & 6 when their mom died! He had to be careful. I so understood that!

AmazonRed™

January 25th, 2011
11:03 am

He was saying just in general people are turned off these days at doing what’s right. Not right by society or even family standards but right according to what was established by The Almighty for men and women to do.

Raqi – I agree.

One of my friends really wanted to get married. They’ve been living together for several years. He was happy with the arrangement and hadn’t proposed. She wasn’t putting any requirements on him to do so either.

Well, she gets pregnant and voices her displeasure about not being married. In the meantime, she announces her pregnancy and someone asks: well when are yall gonna be married?

Now she’s offended someone asked if she was gonna marry the man who lives with her and knocked her up.

Come on now. Then I hear, “that’s such the old fashioned way….” But she’s always wanted to be married.

Dan - Simply...Superior

January 25th, 2011
11:05 am

Oh, Raqi

Let’s not get into the history of Religion…

Kym-The Steelers are the AFC Champs!

January 25th, 2011
11:07 am

I know I am gonna regret this comment but here goes.

@Dreams..I was watching a History Channel documentary on the History of Sex and the Karma Sutra..(insert regret here) and they talked about how one the markings on many of the ancient temples in India where older than Christ and that at some point (insert second point of regret here) the act of sex was actually a act of worship. That the different positions mention in the Karma Sutra were ways to achieve a connection with God.
Go ahead swiss I know I brought this one on myself…LOL!!

Celisea

January 25th, 2011
11:10 am

He was saying just in general people are turned off these days at doing what’s right. Not right by society or even family standards but right according to what was established by The Almighty for men and women to do.

I agree too…but of course ya’ll know this already Lighten up folks, it’s a blog, please continue with your thoughts on door 1, 2 or 3

i'm swiss™

January 25th, 2011
11:12 am

“Go ahead swiss I know I brought this one on myself…”

Kym — That post was such a good set up, I think it’s almost better just to leave it to everyone’s imaginations…

Of course, I’m glad you brought that up, because I do love to worship at the alter of puddy as often as possible — laying hands, anointing with my holy spirits, and of course, wielding my rod and staff…

BlackMagicWoman

January 25th, 2011
11:14 am

Religion is supposed to bring out the best in people…but it brings out the worst. Everybody fighting and killing and harming other’s in the name or religion. Who’s to say who’s religion is right or wrong. For all we know…we all could be wrong. I am spiritually Christian. But do I agree with all it’s teachings…nope! The Bible has been “translated” many times over. And let’s face it…separation of church and state was not part of society. So who’s to say everything you read is the truth and has not been tainted? I will try to continue to be a good person. I was blessed with a good heart that sometimes gets me taken advantage of. But that’s God in my heart! Religion has kept two people who love each other from being together. Religion…it can bring out the beauty…or the beast!

kimmie

January 25th, 2011
11:14 am

that’s such the old fashioned way

Amred – That’s a classic case of a woman going against her own values to go along with a man. Sad. I would have more respect if she just said she didn’t know when they were getting married and admitted that’s not how she wanted to do things.

When it comes to my values, I don’t care what’s “in fashion”. I tell SO & his family all the time I’m old school about a lot of things. A lot of the old school ways still work. More than often, I am proven to be correct.

Vic

January 25th, 2011
11:17 am

I think marriage is the ultimate committment in a relationship. I believe marriage is for eveyone, but not everyone should get married. Some people can’t be committed to only one person for the rest of their lives, others can’t think of their significant other first and be selfless, etc.

Kym-The Steelers are the AFC Champs!

January 25th, 2011
11:19 am

@Swiss..I knew I was in for it. But I am really fascinated by Eastern cultural..and I spend alot of time watching the History Channel. I thought it was pretty wild that Karma Sutra moves were on the temples of worship..and how the society in India has gotten so modest when apparently thousands of years before they were on a whole other level.

BlackMagicWoman

January 25th, 2011
11:19 am

ARED…your friend is settling. Why should he be the only one getting what he wants? Now there is a child involved. I’m not sayig get married because you are pregnant. However…was the plan to get pregnant and hope that it would make him step up?

KYM..I too watched that program. It was very interesting.

SWISS…to the bad boy corner….STAT!

AmazonRed™

January 25th, 2011
11:23 am

“Were Adam and Eve married?”

Yes. They were wed though God though the creation of Eve. Eve is physically a part of Adam, taken from his rib (which is why women have an extra, exept for Janet Jackson who had some of hers removed ). The Bible states: “At last, this is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh.” Therefore, they didn’t need a “ceremony” to ask God to unify them it was already done for them through Eve’s creation.

So in modern day times, we are left to have ceremonies to experience the same type of unity given to Adam and Eve by God.

i'm swiss™

January 25th, 2011
11:26 am

“and how the society in India has gotten so modest when apparently thousands of years before they were on a whole other level.”

Um… I don’t know if I agree with you on that “modest” bit… I had some run-ins with some Indian chics in my younger days, and let’s just say I wouldn’t describe them as “modest…” Also, have you checked the population figures? There’s some serious f__king going on over there…

AmazonRed™

January 25th, 2011
11:26 am

ARED…your friend is settling. Why should he be the only one getting what he wants? Now there is a child involved. I’m not sayig get married because you are pregnant. However…was the plan to get pregnant and hope that it would make him step up?

BMW – I honestly don’t know but I’m suspicious of course. She’s a really great girl to him and she stays in shape, has her own life and cooks like a champ.

Apparently, he had told her that he’d be okay with her “forgetting” to take her birth control and they went on vacation and she indeed did forget.

He did propose to her after the stick turned positive. And now they are engaged.

AmazonRed™

January 25th, 2011
11:27 am

kimmie – Nods head on your 11:14.

But now that you’ve weighed in on my friends situation, you know you can’t possibly be happy in your life you know.

i'm swiss™

January 25th, 2011
11:29 am

“At last, this is now bone of my bones…”

Incidentally, this is also the origin of the expression, “boning.” Therefore wives, it is god’s will that you “bone” your husbands regularly.

Carry on.

Kym-The Steelers are the AFC Champs!

January 25th, 2011
11:31 am

@Wisey..I promise I didn’t try to get swiss started. I promise.

@Swiss..you are right crazy. I have no knowledge of Indian women..I just know they are modest now because of what I have seen in Bollywood movies.

kimmie

January 25th, 2011
11:31 am

So many women have made the mistake of thinking that letting a guy know they wish to marry will run him off. I was very guilty of that. Like Amred said in her earlier post, her friend did not make marriage a requirement.

So what if he’s scared off? You’re not getting what you want anyway. You don’t have to discuss the 5 kids and the big house you want on date 1, but early on. Let him know that you’d like to marry one day. Find out if you two have similiar goals. If you don’t, it’s not a big deal. A few years of shacking and a few pregnacies later…..doesn’t make sense.

i'm swiss™

January 25th, 2011
11:32 am

I just called Mrs. Swiss & told her to hurry home today so I could “anoint” her.

AmazonRed™

January 25th, 2011
11:33 am

Swiss!!!

kimmie

January 25th, 2011
11:33 am

Amred – I’m not happy at all!!

BlackMagicWoman

January 25th, 2011
11:35 am

SWISS… Oh I just can’t!

Beautiful

January 25th, 2011
11:39 am

i think all the time how wonderful it would be if i can live without feeling the void of NOT having a soulmate/husband. my pastor’s wife stated to me *because you’re in the FLESH! this is the reason the feeling is there.* i feel sometimes that all of that energy can be useful somewhere else. i’m dating now, but it’s not the same. he’s wonderful… blah blah blah. but i can’t wake up next to him every morning, etc.

AmazonRed™

January 25th, 2011
11:40 am

but i can’t wake up next to him every morning, etc.

Is he an inmate?

Just be patient, Angie, it all takes time.

farmer ted

January 25th, 2011
11:42 am

why buy the cow when the milk is free?

Woody Bass

January 25th, 2011
11:43 am

I do not understand this fascination with getting married. Its a sham.. has been for years. It doesnt prove your marriage is anymore committed than if you were not. Divorce has proven that.

People.. that lil piece of paper doesnt mean jack squat. You dont need a piece of paper to prove you are in love nor that you are in a committed relationship.

DreamsMaterialize

January 25th, 2011
11:44 am

How can any society step in an decide that one civilation’s(sp) history is completely wrong?
Kym Well that’s pretty much what the Council of Nicea did with the Bible. They got together and voted on what should be included/excluded from the Bible. Most Eastern Christians were not invited to this meeting.

So in modern day times, we are left to have ceremonies to experience the same type of unity given to Adam and Eve by God.
That’s just an interpretation. The Bible doesn’t require us to have a ceremony.

Beautiful

January 25th, 2011
11:44 am

Swiss… you’re cute!

Beautiful

January 25th, 2011
11:46 am

ARed… i’m rollin’! cause he’s a chef at the prison in Sac.

Beautiful

January 25th, 2011
11:51 am

funny how my ex (son’s father) is a LT at one prison… and i have a chef a hour down the road at another. LOL!

DreamsMaterialize

January 25th, 2011
11:52 am

taken from his rib (which is why women have an extra, exept for Janet Jackson who had some of hers removed
Women have the same number of ribs as men. Some (like less than 1%) men AND women have an extra rib.

Kym-The Steelers are the AFC Champs!

January 25th, 2011
11:52 am

@Dreams yeah I know…it is why I find it so annoying that people are so willing to accept only a small versions of the truth as the gospel.

TenderRoni

January 25th, 2011
11:54 am

Is it afternoon??
I think the break-up or marriage thang is up to the two in that relationship. You have to see where you are in life and what fits.

I don’t think a realistic time frame for me will be the same realistic time frame for the man I’m with. I think you should take time communicate values, directions, and plans to see if the both of you are on the same page and if each still has the willingness to stay committed. Then make rational decision to stay and work on the relationship or move on.

I won’t necessarily call it a bad sign, but lack of communication of the future involving me can lead to false assumptions, and uncertainy which neither I want to have floating in my head.So, yeah if we have taken the step to be exclusive, I would want to eventually discuss what the next step would be. Its about being on the same page.

Ok, back to work.

@Raqi- I know I’m late but your posts early, you was droppin that science on them

DreamsMaterialize

January 25th, 2011
11:54 am

I just called Mrs. Swiss & told her to hurry home today so I could “anoint” her.
swiss don’t forget the annointing oil. lol It also helps to speak in “tongues” during the ritual. lol

Kym-The Steelers are the AFC Champs!

January 25th, 2011
11:55 am

Just got this quote and found it quite timely for the topic today..”It’s amazing what we will let other people make us believe about ourselves.”

AmazonRed™

January 25th, 2011
11:56 am

i’m rollin’! cause he’s a chef at the prison in Sac.

Wait a minute Angie…didn’t your ex also work at a prison?

But yeah, Sac is far…

Celisea

January 25th, 2011
11:57 am

………he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,[5] And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? [6] Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

Actually and further to ARed’s 11:23, God performed the first “ceremony” so yeah, a ceremony would be needed and is required….in order to stick and be considered the real thing. I mean you ain’t gotta break and take bones but you do ceremoniously when exchanging vows

Celisea

January 25th, 2011
11:58 am

why buy the cow when the milk is free?

Another reason folks might wanna get married…lol

BlackMagicWoman

January 25th, 2011
11:58 am

BEAUTIFUL…what is it with you and prison men?

kimmie

January 25th, 2011
11:58 am

I hate it when we talk about religion on here. I hope we’re not on this same road all day.

Everyone has a right to post what they want, I know. So do I.

AmazonRed™

January 25th, 2011
11:58 am

Dreams…that part was a joke.

PrincessNik

January 25th, 2011
11:59 am

Kym, thanks for answering me earlier.

DreamsMaterialize

January 25th, 2011
12:00 pm

Dreams…that part was a joke.
my bad. lol

Kym-The Steelers are the AFC Champs!

January 25th, 2011
12:00 pm

@Princess no problem..

AmazonRed™

January 25th, 2011
12:06 pm

That’s just an interpretation. The Bible doesn’t require us to have a ceremony.

Dreams – You asked the question, and that was my way of answering it. Yes, they were married. Clearly your mind was made up when you asked, so yeah, you might not be swayed. But the Bible promotes being marriage, no matter how you want to spin it differently.

i'm swiss™

January 25th, 2011
12:11 pm

“But the Bible promotes being marriage, no matter how you want to spin it differently.”

And it also endorses slavery, human sacrifice & following the instructions of inanimate objects. Just sayin’…

AmazonRed™

January 25th, 2011
12:16 pm

In addition to unconditional love, honor, courage and hope. Swiss.

i'm swiss™

January 25th, 2011
12:18 pm

“In addition to unconditional love, honor, courage and hope.”

Very true, ARed. But is it really necessary for these concepts to be mandated by an invisible man in the sky in order for us to agree they’re good?

AmazonRed™

January 25th, 2011
12:22 pm

Yes.

BlackMagicWoman

January 25th, 2011
12:26 pm

SWISS…you were married at Mrs. Swiss’s church right? Did it burn down? I’m just messing with ya man!

DreamsMaterialize

January 25th, 2011
12:31 pm

Clearly your mind was made up when you asked, so yeah, you might not be swayed.
ARed As much as your mind was made up when you read the question. Also, I didn’t spin it, you did with your talk of ceremonies that the Bible doesn’t require. The Bible also promotes NOT being married.

And it also endorses slavery, human sacrifice & following the instructions of inanimate objects. Just sayin’…
swiss seems pretty accepting of polygamy too.

Kiss of a Rose

January 25th, 2011
12:32 pm

The goal in life is to find that person you want to grow old with. Period. The Bible says ‘it not good for man to be alone’. It too many woman and not enough man to commit to marriage. Both man and woman must understand that people want love and own property, and try to create this perfect life, for some it happens, but for other it doesn’t. Marriage is about loving that person at there worst, because when you get older you lose things, for example, health, jobs, cars, homes, and etc. If you are in a long term relationship more than 5 years, you need to get out quick. At the end of the day, it is all about trust, security, and respect. If you don’t have those 3 in a marriage or long term relationship, you have nothing.

Raqi V

January 25th, 2011
12:33 pm

I know I am late and all….

Kym, I read your question/comment but it’s been well over an hour and I have lost my steam for the debate now. LOL I am actually a little sleepy.

Lizzy came in with her crayon and paper wanting me to draw with her. I was drawing shapes and calling them out to her and she was just scribbling away. After about 5 sheets of paper of scribbling she got down and grabbed her v-tech. While I was trying to put each letter one after the other on the board for her to hear the pronunciation she kept pressing the button that plays the alphabet song. Then she wanted to start changing the channels on the television. We settled on Mickey Mouse and watched that while we ate lunch. Then we read “Belly Button” and “The Going to Bed Book”, both by Sandra Boynton who is an excellent children’s book author, until she fell asleep.

Sorry I got detoured. LOL

Hopefully the topic is much lighter by now.

Raqi V

January 25th, 2011
12:40 pm

Therefore wives, it is god’s will that you “bone” your husbands regularly.

Swiss, you may be joking but sex is a right of a spouse in marriage. In fact the bible says that neither the man nor the woman shall deny their spouse sex except for fasting, praying and during the time of the woman’s cycle.

But I bet that is a part of the “Bible” you have no trouble accepting.

The Torah even states plainly that it’s a man’s duty as a husband to give his wife sex as often as she desires it. Most men may be horn dogs but the Jewish law lets us know that woman have needs too. LOL

Sorry WiseDiva, I didn’t mean to start the religious debates this morning but I just wanted to state my beliefs in the matter rather than just an opinion.

i'm swiss™

January 25th, 2011
12:41 pm

“you were married at Mrs. Swiss’s church right? Did it burn down?”

BMW — It didn’t burn down, but The Matterhorn transformed into a giant flaming serpent and smote all who dared to blaspheme against it.

Actually, I wouldn’t call it “Mrs. Swiss’s church,” since she had never been there before she saw the building & decided it was beautiful & she wanted to have the wedding there nor has she been back since. She’s not religious, either.

“seems pretty accepting of polygamy too.”

Dreams — And the church said, “amen.”

Kym-The Steelers are the AFC Champs!

January 25th, 2011
12:41 pm

@Raqi…no debate..I am practicing the art of “Not trying to every argument.” Plus you have to flat out accept that we are all different. Thank goodness… a world of like minded Stepford people..what kind of life is that?

Kym-The Steelers are the AFC Champs!

January 25th, 2011
12:43 pm

@Wisey..you are getting engaged? I wish people would tell me these things. Congrats lady!

Kym-The Steelers are the AFC Champs!

January 25th, 2011
12:44 pm

oh that should read..not trying to WIN every argument. I am ready for lunch or a nap or both myself.

AmazonRed™

January 25th, 2011
12:46 pm

Also, I didn’t spin it, you did with your talk of ceremonies that the Bible doesn’t require. The Bible also promotes NOT being married.

Where did I use the word REQUIRE? It was an answer to the question about if they were married and offered rationale as to why I think they were.

You came back with “interpretation” well duh…seeing as none of us were there, it has to be. Nowhere was I codemning anyone or forcing anyone to see it my way.

Raqi V

January 25th, 2011
12:49 pm

*shudder*???

What the heck was that? LOL Like being engaged is a bad thing.

You know I was only engaged for 10 days…

Raqi V

January 25th, 2011
12:52 pm

Kym, neither am I trying to win every argument. And yes we all have different beliefs.

On a different note…My son reminded me this morning that he will be 16 in 9 days and I need to start looking for a driver’s ed course for him to complete his 30 hours and 40 hours on the road driving experience. LOL

He will be officially(crossing fingers) moving to the next step of Class D license. For me that is good and bad. LOL

i'm swiss™

January 25th, 2011
12:53 pm

“But I bet that is a part of the “Bible” you have no trouble accepting. “

I think having sex with one’s spouse is a very good idea. And there are plenty of other lessons to be gleaned from the bible which I think are very constructive, as with any other great work of literature. What I do not “accept” however, is the notion that the book is the literal, infallible, indisputable word of “god,” because that — blindly submitting to something with complete disregard for reality — is a very dangerous thing, in my opinion, as it can provide justification for a lot of pretty heinous crap. And that is true of anything that people accept without question — whether it’s religious dogma, political ideology, etc.

Don’t get me wrong, I recognize that the vast majority of religious folk are very good people. But so are the vast majority of non-religious folk. I just think one shouldn’t need to be brainwashed into fearing fire & brimstone to be motivated to be a good person.

DreamsMaterialize

January 25th, 2011
12:56 pm

Lizzy came in with her crayon and paper wanting me to draw with her.
Raqi that’s much more interesting than religious debate. So, what avenue of education have you all chosen for the kiddies? Public, private, home?

i'm swiss™

January 25th, 2011
12:56 pm

Okay, I don’t know what blog filter didn’t like about my attempted posts (logic, perhaps?), but two tries is my limit…

Raqi V

January 25th, 2011
1:01 pm

DreamsMat, our 15 yr old is presently in private school. Has been since day one. I am hoping for the same for Lizzy but I have not gotten the full details on the schools in the Mechanicsville area. Richmond is only about a 15 minute drive away so that area will be considered when deciding on a school for her.

Raqi V

January 25th, 2011
1:02 pm

Which ever route we find for Lizzy the next little bean will follow.

i'm swiss™

January 25th, 2011
1:02 pm

Wise — Help me understand this… I know I push the envelope on here quite a bit, but what was it, exactly, in my attempted posts that triggered the filter? There’s not one evenly mildly objectionable word anywhere in there…

BlackMagicWoman

January 25th, 2011
1:03 pm

“You know I was only engaged for 10 days…”

RAQI…that is the shortest engagement ever! And he hasn’t stopped knocking you up since!

SWISS….I swear you crap me up!

KYM…oh nooooooo another teen driver on the roads! Watch out there now!

RAQI…at my job we have the cutest books. One is “I’m a Big Sister”. That is perfect for Lizzy!

Raqi V

January 25th, 2011
1:05 pm

I am getting ready to put the movie Fracture. Have any of you seen it? Is it worth me taking the dvd out of the case, getting up, walking over the dvd player, pressing the open button, putting the dvd in, pressing the button to close, walking back to the bed, sitting down and pressing play?

Raqi V

January 25th, 2011
1:07 pm

BlackMagic, yes very short. But we both knew it’s what we want. He would have never asked if he didn’t want it and I would have never said yes. Heck girl we had dated for over 4 years what was there to wait on? LOL We probably would have done it the very next day had that been possible.

i'm swiss™

January 25th, 2011
1:08 pm

Hmmm… can I say “brimstone?”

i'm swiss™

January 25th, 2011
1:09 pm

Nope, that wasn’t it…

kimmie

January 25th, 2011
1:12 pm

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/01/24/steve-harveys-exwife-lash_n_813244.html

Check this out. Steve’s past is coming back to haunt.

DreamsMaterialize

January 25th, 2011
1:12 pm

Raqi You have one at UM too, right? Did he go to private school? How would you compare his experience with that of the 15 year old? I’m just curious because I’m trying to map out options for mine. I’ve been looking into private shools pretty seriously.

i'm swiss™

January 25th, 2011
1:13 pm

See, this is why I tend to stick to clowning on here. Anytime I try to make a serious, logical post, with no freaky undertones, it goes straight into the blog black hole…

Oh well, who wants to talk about puddy?

DreamsMaterialize

January 25th, 2011
1:15 pm

Anytime I try to make a serious, logical post, with no freaky undertones, it goes straight into the blog black hole…
swiss I’m surprised it didn’t filter out “logical”. haha

i'm swiss™

January 25th, 2011
1:16 pm

It’s a blog conspiracy, isn’t it Wise? I’ve been type-cast as “That Crazy Whiteboy.” Know your role!

Tafna Taylor

January 25th, 2011
1:19 pm

Hello everybody, Normally I read along but wanted to say reading opinions from different people and backgrounds is interesting. No one should be bothered by various opinions and thoughts. Keep up the good work!

Raqi V

January 25th, 2011
1:23 pm

Yes DreamsMat at UniMich. He went to public school. At one time while he was in Dunwoody High I gave him the option to transfer to private school but he didn’t want to. He had pretty good teacher at Dunwoody but I do prefer the private school environment better. I wouldn’t private school teachers care more because a good teacher is a good teacher, but the private school teacher care more.

I honestly don’t know if those teacher are taken into a room and told ‘look these folks are giving us x amount of dollars for their kids to be educated so don’t let them down’ or what but my 15 year old is a head of where my oldest was at this stage. Some of the courses he is taking being in the 10th grade is some of the same stuff the hub was helping the oldest with in the 12th.

And private schools have smaller class size that what public schools have. Well the school that mine attend does.

Raqi V

January 25th, 2011
1:25 pm

It’s funny how we parents do all we can to get our kids into good university and once in we do all we can to motivate them to get out. LOL Not drop out but graduate.

Celisea

January 25th, 2011
1:25 pm

but the private school teacher care more.

Is that your interpretation? I kid I kid…ha ha ha ha ha

Raqi V

January 25th, 2011
1:26 pm

Anytime I try to make a serious, logical post

That’s because the filter does not recognize you when you do that. LOL

Raqi V

January 25th, 2011
1:30 pm

Celisea, you could say it is my interpretation however having dealt with both I can attest to the one being more “dedicated” than some others. Don’t get me wrong my oldest did have some good teachers but I like more of the teachers at my youngers than I did at Dunwoody. I could be wrong though.

Raqi V

January 25th, 2011
1:32 pm

I am sleepy. If yall need me for anything just tap on the screen. Don’t knock to hard or you will wake the baby. LOL

Celisea

January 25th, 2011
1:32 pm

Raqi – The devil made me write that Nah, I agree…IMO, just an opinion, private schools are much better.

i'm swiss™

January 25th, 2011
1:33 pm

Private school parents also tend to care more. Makes it much easier to be a motivated teacher when you know the parents are working with you. That’s not the case in many public schools. It takes a special person not to get frustrated/burned out and give up in a lot of public schools. Most of us couldn’t do it (myself included).

kimmie

January 25th, 2011
1:36 pm

If you’re paying your money, it BETTER be BETTER. And yes, swiss, strong parent involvement has a lot to do with a successful school, public or private!

cba

January 25th, 2011
1:38 pm

Private schools are forced to accept every Tom, Dick, Harry, Montavious, Peaches………

BlackMagicWoman

January 25th, 2011
1:38 pm

SWISS….you have now be oficially crowned,,,”That Crazy White Boy”. Speaking of…where the other one?

cba

January 25th, 2011
1:40 pm

Private Schools ARE NOT

i'm swiss™

January 25th, 2011
1:42 pm

kimmie — The biggest problem I see with public schools is that there no real way to thin the herd, so to speak. This whole “no child left behind” idea is great, theoretically, in reality, not so much. And don’t even get me started on the discipline issues… The year I taught literally 1/4 of my students had been kicked out of the alternative school & were back in my classroom. Let me say that again: the alternative school couldn’t do anything with these kids, yet they’re still allowed back into a normal classroom. Yeah, that worked out well….

Dan - Simply...Superior

January 25th, 2011
1:45 pm

@Swiss

Because alternative schools are busy dealing with children that should be treated for mental health issues.

A couple of fights in school dont rate for the alternative campus

DreamsMaterialize

January 25th, 2011
1:50 pm

Raqi I’m leaning toward private too. I just want to make sure I’m getting the most for the money and that it is a good fit for my daughter. I looked into one school that said about 80% of its grad go to one particular school. I’m not paying 20k a year for my child’s opportunities to be that limited. I want to know that kids graduate and enroll in lots of different univerisities, not shoveled into one or two schools. So, where did the kids go before Peatchtree Middle opened?

kimmie

January 25th, 2011
1:54 pm

Swiss – I’m a product of public school and my mom was a public school teacher. I have seen what a school can do if all parties cooperate and work together – parents, students, teacher, the administration. But that was a different time. My SO’s kids are in a fantastic charter school. The parents are required to put in a certain amount of volunteer hours a year. The teachers communicate very closely with the parents on the child’s progress. They seem to have found a system that works. Both kids are ahead of some of their regular public school counterparts.

But once last year, when SO’s son was falling behind, SO was being a little to lenient. It was not working and his teachers were blowing up the phone and email and scheduling conferences. It wasn’t really my place to say much, but I did tell SO that his son was not going to get serious until HE got serious.

He took it to heart and there has been a vast improvement!

i'm swiss™

January 25th, 2011
1:54 pm

Dan — True. I just think that if you have kids who clearly don’t want to be in school and no amount of “discipline” (and I use that term loosely, because schools are mostly neutered in that department these days) can prevent them from being a disruption, then why keep taking them back? They’re already f__k-ups. That’s not going to change by osmosis from sitting in a classroom. Get them out so that those who actually want to learn can…

i'm swiss™

January 25th, 2011
1:55 pm

Oops.. didn’t mean for that to be all bold…

DreamsMaterialize

January 25th, 2011
1:57 pm

A couple of fights in school dont rate for the alternative campus.
Dan Yeah but it doesn’t rate for the “normal” one either, if it’s a pattern. I don’t want a few jackasses hindering my kid’s education. If no one there can work with them, then they need to find somewhere else for them to go…and their parents too (’cause they’re often the biggest contributor).

i'm swiss™

January 25th, 2011
1:57 pm

kimmie — Same here. And from Kindergarten through 5th grade, my mom was always in the same building as me. I had no other option but to be a nerd…

PrincessNik

January 25th, 2011
1:57 pm

Kimmie,

Did you say you and SO were going to do Vegas for the wedding?

kimmie

January 25th, 2011
2:01 pm

Princess – Yes. We have been lazy about sitting down and making definite plans, but been gathering info. I am so excited though. I’ve been wanting to get back to Vegas for a long time and SO has never been, so that will be our honeymoon as well!

DreamsMaterialize

January 25th, 2011
2:01 pm

I have seen what a school can do if all parties cooperate and work together – parents, students, teacher, the administration.
kimmie I agree, although I’d parental involvement is the biggest piece. Parental involvement can influence all the other three. I’ve seen PTA’s influence teacher hiring/firing, financial investments from local businesses, the whole nine.

kimmie

January 25th, 2011
2:04 pm

Swiss – You’re better off! Of course, I couldn’t get away with anything even if I tried because, while she was at a different school, she was TOTALLY on the teacher’s side about anything involving me or my brothers! It was nothing for her to just pop up!

Like I said, we’re better off!

PrincessNik

January 25th, 2011
2:04 pm

Kimmie

So will it be a wedding-wedding or a “vegas special”?

Dan - Simply...Superior

January 25th, 2011
2:05 pm

@Swiss/Dreams

I agree, but you can’t account for the personality differences in any/every school.

While a fight wasn’t a big deal during my formative years, think about the difference in “magnet” or private schools. Those kids are fighting for the rest of their lives.

In my school, you raised your hand; I see some of these younger kids blurting isht out.

In my day, you fought after school and it was over with; these days the bullies are online taunting you relentlessly.

My point is, private or public, there will always be dominating arseholes that will try and take over a situation, adjusting to that (and getting what you need in the process) is part of growning up and navigating the world.

Though, I’m glad we could settle ours at fist BITD

kimmie

January 25th, 2011
2:05 pm

Dreams – Yep!

Mo (aka Moeisha)

January 25th, 2011
2:05 pm

Hey all! I’ll just jump right in…too much to catch up on….

kimmie – Lil Mo goes to a theme school and they also have the required parent volunteer hours. even though this is only the first year, this system seems to work so Im sticking with it! I didnt want to do private school but I did want to make sure Lil Mo would be challenged

Hope everyone is doing well!

kimmie

January 25th, 2011
2:08 pm

Princess – Very small wedding-wedding, at one of the hotels, not a cheesy Elvis chapel!LOL!! A few friends and family really want to come, and I want some nice pictures, so we’ve narrowed it down to Bellagio, The Venetian or Ceasars. All have nice wedding packages that include beautiful scenery for pictures!

i'm swiss™

January 25th, 2011
2:11 pm

Apparently, god wants us all to be packing heat at all times, too…

Stone wrote in a filing, however, “In very large part, my motivation to carry a firearm as a matter of habit derives from one of my Lord’s last recorded statements at the ‘last supper,’ that ‘whoever has no sword is to sell his coat and buy one … I believe that this injunction requires me to obtain, keep and carry a firearm wherever I happen to be.”

i'm swiss™

January 25th, 2011
2:15 pm

Dan — I wasn’t thinking of fights. I never had a fight break out in my classroom. But I did have a number of kids who were either persistent disruptions or required so much of my attention to keep them in line as to detract from quality of instruction for the other 29 kids. These are the kids I’m saying should be removed from the classroom for the greater good.

Kym-The Steelers are the AFC Champs!

January 25th, 2011
2:17 pm

Okay how did we get on the kids? The boy is in a public high school..but it is pretty diverse. I did charter school for awhile..but err..yeah those are hit and miss and that is all I have to say about that.

Kym-The Steelers are the AFC Champs!

January 25th, 2011
2:18 pm

And if teachers don’t have enough drama..I see in Cali where the second graders are into oral sex in the classrooms now.

Dan - Simply...Superior

January 25th, 2011
2:19 pm

@Swiss

I know, I brought up fights to equate the “distraction element”.

Let’s try another one; the overachiever “think R. Witherspoon in election”.

The kid that won’t let anyone get anything out in response to a question, worse that a “once an hour class clown”, this kid(s) won’t let anyone else even answer.

You can’t assess the other students for their understanding of the subject matter, and just the same as the persistent disruptions, these kid(s) require your attention.

That’s what Ridalin overachievers get you

PrincessNik

January 25th, 2011
2:19 pm

Kimmie

define small, lol not everyones idea of small is the same. SO’s sister is getting married in vegas in May can’t remember the location off the top of my head. I’m probably not going but I am encouraging him to go………….

i'm swiss™

January 25th, 2011
2:20 pm

“I see in Cali where the second graders are into oral sex in the classrooms now.”

Kym — That must be the AP Hoochie class…

i'm swiss™

January 25th, 2011
2:25 pm

Dan — I get what you’re saying, but I don’t really think the two equate from a practical standpoint. Those overachiever types (while admittedly annoying sometimes) are pretty easy to deal with, in my opinion. (Just call on someone else, for example). I promise you, I’d much rather have a room full of those than the kids I described, at any rate…

Kym-The Steelers are the AFC Champs!

January 25th, 2011
2:26 pm

@Swiss..I swear I am going to not watch or listen to the news and then something happens to suck me back in..this is just so crazy. The school is in Oakland.

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=133126746

SlimNumeroUno

January 25th, 2011
2:26 pm

How do you even know what Oral relations are in the 2nd grade?? Dayum!

Leggs

January 25th, 2011
2:26 pm

Good afternoon…

Can any of you offer a recap???

kimmie

January 25th, 2011
2:26 pm

Princess – We’re talking under 15 guests. We were just going to elope but a few friends want to come. Also, a dear uncle(mom’s brother) who is like a 2nd father to me lives only a few hours from Vegas and last night asked to give me away. My mom’s sister, my aunt, I know wants to come as well. Both my parents are deceased. A few good friends say they want to come too.

My SO’s first wedding was small – he said it was probably 30 guests.

Find out where your SO’s sis is getting married, please!, and let me know.

Dan - Simply...Superior

January 25th, 2011
2:28 pm

@Slim

Cause Mommy and Uncle Dayoftheweek don’t care about closing doors.

kimmie

January 25th, 2011
2:29 pm

I can’t even fathom that, I would have a heart attack. 2nd graders don’t even know how to wipe good when they go to the bathroom!

DreamsMaterialize

January 25th, 2011
2:30 pm

kimmie ya’ll are going to gain about 15 pounds…Vegas has the best buffets. lol

PrincessNik

January 25th, 2011
2:32 pm

Kimmie

Ok, the invite is at home on the counter so I may pop back in after 4 and give you an answer or tomorrow.

See 15 guests thats my idea of small too!! I know the only way i’d be able to do that is keep my mom’s hands out of it LOL.

Kym-The Steelers are the AFC Champs!

January 25th, 2011
2:33 pm

@kimmie..I loved Vegas when I went.

The schools said it was just children being curious that got out of hand because the teacher was not watching them. I think some parents forget the school is not the baby sitter.

kimmie

January 25th, 2011
2:38 pm

Thanks Princess!

Dreams – I know, I went about 12 years ago and my uncle had to drag me out of Vegas! I had so much fun. I ate and drank a lot but walked it all off. And sweated – it got up to 112 degrees when I was there!

Kym – It’s the best, I can’t wait!

i'm swiss™

January 25th, 2011
2:39 pm

“How do you even know what Oral relations are in the 2nd grade?? Dayum!”

Slim — That’s one heck of a “head” start program…

SlimNumeroUno

January 25th, 2011
2:44 pm

swiss – I’m going to have to get a computer condom if you keep this up.

Kym-The Steelers are the AFC Champs!

January 25th, 2011
2:47 pm

Random thought, vent or statement..Women over 40 should not have rainbow bright color hair or hairpieces.

SlimNumeroUno

January 25th, 2011
2:47 pm

‘Cause Mommy and Uncle Dayoftheweek don’t care about closing doors’

Dan – Let’s add the accessibility of it on the internet too. A friend of mine said a student had even downloaded a ‘flick’ on his DDS then brought it to school.

Leggs

January 25th, 2011
2:50 pm

@ i’m swiss.

Didn’t I just say last week that these girls don’t consider oral sex as having sex. But, dayum, the second grade. What are they thinking, they’re going to such on a lollipop in the boy’s underoos!!!

Leggs

January 25th, 2011
2:50 pm

meant “suck” on a lollipop…

kimmie

January 25th, 2011
2:55 pm

Kym – How about NOBODY should have rainbow bright hair or hairpieces, unless it is part of a costume, no matter the age!LOL!!

Kym-The Steelers are the AFC Champs!

January 25th, 2011
2:57 pm

@Leggs..I tell ya the news is not happy..not happy at all. On a happier note..I am going to try one of Paula Deen’s Ladies Brunch Burgers this weekend..gonna make it myself too. A burger, two slices of bacon, using two doughnuts as the bun. I am skipping the fried egg..that is just gross.

PrincessNik

January 25th, 2011
2:58 pm

using two doughnuts as the bun

Kym that is interesting…….

Kym-The Steelers are the AFC Champs!

January 25th, 2011
2:59 pm

@kimmie I just marvel at what folks think is cute these days and then they post it on Facebook. LOL!!!

Leggs

January 25th, 2011
2:59 pm

Don’t do it, Kym!!!

Kym-The Steelers are the AFC Champs!

January 25th, 2011
2:59 pm

@PrincessNik..I read NPR’s Sandwhich Mondays..that is the one sandwhich I want to try.

DreamsMaterialize

January 25th, 2011
3:01 pm

A burger, two slices of bacon, using two doughnuts as the bun.
Kym almost sounds like The Luther from Boondocks. lol

PrincessNik

January 25th, 2011
3:01 pm

Kym i just would have never thought of using a doughnut for a hamburger bun LOL, although I have been know to eat ham and turkey sandwichs on whole wheat raisin bread. I figure its no diff than the tons of diff kinds of bread most sandwich joints offer……

DreamsMaterialize

January 25th, 2011
3:03 pm

The Double Coronary at the Vortex uses a grilled cheese sandwich as each bun on that burger.

Kym-The Steelers are the AFC Champs!

January 25th, 2011
3:03 pm

sandwich..not sandwhich..whateva..this day is dragging on.

@Leggs..I have to..I must..me and the boy are having our own kind of weird “No Reservations” Bizzare foods. thing this weekend. He saw a burger on Diners, Drive-In and Dives that he wants to try. It’s a burger with Peanut butter on it.

SlimNumeroUno

January 25th, 2011
3:05 pm

Kym & kimmie – speaking of colored bright hair….why in the world has Martin Lawrence written in a character that is supposed to be a receptionist with Pink, green, purple hair acting all ghettofied. It just isn’t believable nor do I really like the show thus far. I expected more from ML

PrincessNik

January 25th, 2011
3:07 pm

dang kym now you have me wanting a krispy kreme doughnut………………

Leggs

January 25th, 2011
3:07 pm

@SlimNU ~ when the scene opened up with her at the front desk, I knew it would be a dumb show. And, so far it is! Well, let me take that back, only watched half of the episode never to turn it on again! I don’t even like the promo of her walking up and shashaying from side to side!

PrincessNik

January 25th, 2011
3:08 pm

I expected more from ML

Slim, did you, cause I’m thinking she-ne-ne and all the other characters from Martin…………….

Kym-The Steelers are the AFC Champs!

January 25th, 2011
3:11 pm

@Princess..sorry…I was reviewing recipes..while killing time.

@Dreams..I love the Vortex..I would love to recreate the chilli cheese tater tots at home.

SlimNumeroUno

January 25th, 2011
3:11 pm

Leggs – Don’t get me wrong, I’ll be the first to say I don’t watch edumacational programming all the time, hence my ATL Housewives, secretly at times Jersey Shore, BBall Wives, What Chilli will never get etc….but watching ML’s new show just blatantly insults my intelligence.

SlimNumeroUno

January 25th, 2011
3:13 pm

PN – But even with the She-nana, the main part of the show had topics that were more real to life…Shenene to me just added a silly funny side to the show…This new show he has seems to be weighted the total opposite of how I felt about Martin back in the day. (this spoken from a true nut herself)

AmazonRed™

January 25th, 2011
3:14 pm

I see in Cali where the second graders are into oral sex in the classrooms now.

That’s happening here too. Ask Mo’s sister!

But yeah, my parents were very in to public education. I even got accepted into boarding school and my dad would not let me go. However, the public schools in Cali are very good…well, they were in my day.

kimmie

January 25th, 2011
3:14 pm

Slim/Leggs – Too stereotypical ghetto in a not funny way!

Princess – I did expect better from Martin, because while Sha-neyney was over the top, she/he worked, along with the other characters. They just all flowed well together. Sha popped up every now and then, as did the other characters. They were not an every episode regular role, like Pam & Gina & Tommy & Cole. They would kind of pop in to offer their crazy and then go on. Martin is one of my all-time favorite shows! The comedy on that show still has me LMAO!

SlimNumeroUno

January 25th, 2011
3:15 pm

PN – and to add, Martins old show was years ago…so I guess I expected his progression of talent to show in this new ordeal.

AmazonRed™

January 25th, 2011
3:16 pm

That’s what Ridalin overachievers get you

Or uh…Ritalin…:lol:

SlimNumeroUno

January 25th, 2011
3:18 pm

kimmie – Looks like we were on the same page with that.

kimmie

January 25th, 2011
3:20 pm

I’m sitting here cracking up over some of those Martin episodes, like when Martin found out Gina was making more money than him, when he was acting like Wesley Snipes Nino from New Jack City when he thought someone stole his cd player. And when Shaneyney went on Love Jones Connection and when she won that radio contest date with Kid from Kid N Play!!

SlimNumeroUno

January 25th, 2011
3:22 pm

kimmie – the one i saw most recently was the one when Martin’s mom thought she overheard Gina trying to setup insurance for Martin so she could kill him for the money. She left Martin a note inside one of her famous biscuits for him to find….lololol

kimmie

January 25th, 2011
3:22 pm

Slim – I knew my SO was probably the One when he gave me the Martin dvd collection! LOL!!!

kimmie

January 25th, 2011
3:23 pm

Slim – Mymamabiskits!!!

SlimNumeroUno

January 25th, 2011
3:24 pm

“Gina! You been messin with Mymamabiskits???!!! LMAO

kimmie

January 25th, 2011
3:26 pm

Bro Man – Nuttin. Just chillin!

AmazonRed™

January 25th, 2011
3:32 pm

I drive past Uptown Comedy Corner on my way to work each morning. Bruh Man frequently performs there. But the funny thing about it is the marquee always reads “Bruh Man from the 5th flo” and never states his name. Po thing.

SlimNumeroUno

January 25th, 2011
3:34 pm

Ared – lol….that’s just like Malcom Jamal Warner saying he gets tired of folks calling him Theo. lol I saw him perform last Valentines Day at the Passion of Poetry down at Center Stage.

Dan - Simply...Superior

January 25th, 2011
3:35 pm

Freak that, I still call Rudy, Rudy

kimmie

January 25th, 2011
3:37 pm

Amred/Slim – It’s tough out there. I understand they want to be taken seriously, but they gotta eat too! Be glad they are still recognized!

Sassy Me...Ms.Blackberri :-)

January 25th, 2011
3:37 pm

You been messin with Mymamabiskits???!!!

AmazonRed™

January 25th, 2011
3:37 pm

I saw him perform last Valentines Day at the Passion of Poetry down at Center Stage

Did you now…

Looks like this years big thing is that Babyface, Eric Benet and Kevon Edmonds concert on February 12. Might be worth checking out with that special someone!

Leggs

January 25th, 2011
3:38 pm

I loved the episode when he lifted his head and his face was swollen from getting beat up! That had me in stitches.

AmazonRed™

January 25th, 2011
3:39 pm

Amred/Slim – It’s tough out there. I understand they want to be taken seriously, but they gotta eat too! Be glad they are still recognized!

kimmie – I feel that. But there is room for them to add his name, you know, for the small following I’m sure he has. I mean, if he ever does anything other than Martin.

Kym-The Steelers are the AFC Champs!

January 25th, 2011
3:39 pm

@Slim..Malcom-J new title..is Regina King’s man. I think they make a cute couple.

Sassy Me...Ms.Blackberri :-)

January 25th, 2011
3:39 pm

I saw him perform last Valentines Day at the Passion of Poetry down at Center Stage.

I was there,too and had a blast SlimNu…I ’bout jumped outta my seat when Layla Hathaway came on stage as a surprise guest. Are you going this year?

kimmie

January 25th, 2011
3:40 pm

Mymamabird!!! LOL!!!

SlimNumeroUno

January 25th, 2011
3:40 pm

kimmie – Malcom said he was very greatful for that Cosby show experience but he was like, come on…there is life beyond The Huxtables…lol I sort of feel him but at the same time, that’s what we grew up to see him as. I was impressed by his talent of not just spoken word, but his bass playing as well.

AmazonRed™

January 25th, 2011
3:41 pm

@Slim..Malcom-J new title..is Regina King’s man. I think they make a cute couple.

Isn’t that funny how it works out that way.

Vanessa Huxtable ended up with Ron Johnson from Different World.

kimmie

January 25th, 2011
3:41 pm

Amred- Yeah, they should put his name and then add the Bruh man stuff in parenthases!

kimmie

January 25th, 2011
3:43 pm

Kid from Kid N Play(eraser head I called him) is a music director/producer on Bill Maher HBO show.

BlackMagicWoman

January 25th, 2011
3:43 pm

Being a Glam Goth chick….sometimes I wear colored streaks in my hair. I am not close to 40. But I doubt if I’ll change. My favorite designer is Betsey Johnson. I interned for her. It was awesome! I have been dying my hair different colors ever since I was 15. I saw it’s all a matter of personal style and expression. Of course when I perform..I go all out with it. Hey if someone is bold enough to wear colored hair…they really don’t care what people think of them! I know I don’t!

As for the ML show…I watched one episode…It is too over the top with the really ghetto receptionist. Friend or no friend you would not let that be the representation of your business.

Kym-The Steelers are the AFC Champs!

January 25th, 2011
3:46 pm

Isn’t Play a minister? I thought he was..I always thought he was so cute..the dance off scene from House Party 1 was the best..that and Robin Harris as Kid’s daddy.

i'm swiss™

January 25th, 2011
3:49 pm

“Being a Glam Goth chick….sometimes I wear colored streaks in my hair.”

BMW — Do you make sure the carpet matches the drapes?

SlimNumeroUno

January 25th, 2011
3:51 pm

Ared – I see you throwing ideas out there. So does that mean you plan on going to the concert? Last year I went with my cousin and one of her co-workers. I wasn’t booed up then but who knows what this year will bring. Nothing is really moving me to want to do the PP this year.

Speaking of Regina…we cannot sleep on 227. That show was funny too…and it shows just how much life has changed. Back then, the heart throb was Calvin…now young girls slob over Lil Wayne and GUCCI! lol

Sassy Me...Ms.Blackberri :-)

January 25th, 2011
3:56 pm

Do you make sure the carpet matches the drapes?

!!!!!!!

Swiss you goin dooown!!

Sassy Me...Ms.Blackberri :-)

January 25th, 2011
3:57 pm

Pun not intended…no wait I’m talking bout Swiss so who knows

BlackMagicWoman

January 25th, 2011
4:03 pm

SWISS…,my hair is Raven Blue-Black now. I wear the clip in streak so I can change when I want. I don’t wear them to work. So the carpet is black too, what very little of it there is! Why…are you trying to become my “Landscaper”?

AmazonRed™

January 25th, 2011
4:04 pm

I see you throwing ideas out there. So does that mean you plan on going to the concert?

Perhaps.

Alvin Ailey also comes every Valentines weekend. I got my boo at the time to take me once. He was uncomfortable watching men in tights, so I never ask a guy to go anymore, unless he’s one of those Renaissance Men who can appreciate arts and stuh….

Leggs

January 25th, 2011
4:06 pm

What’s “arts and stuh?”

AmazonRed™

January 25th, 2011
4:07 pm

“the arts and stuff”

Leggs

January 25th, 2011
4:08 pm

I know what you meant!

i'm swiss™

January 25th, 2011
4:15 pm

Hmmm… Swiss Puddyscaping… That has a nice ring to it, come to think of it…

Sassy — D@mmit, you beat me to it…

AmazonRed™

January 25th, 2011
4:15 pm

Argh! So why did you ask?

SlimNumeroUno

January 25th, 2011
4:17 pm

I wouldn’t mind seing Alvin Ailey but I really can’t see dude wanting to go either.

Leggs

January 25th, 2011
4:18 pm

So you can go “Argh” either to yourself or over the computer. Either way, I figured you’d same something like that.

AmazonRed™

January 25th, 2011
4:18 pm

@Slim – Yeah, I just go with my homegirls now.

I’ll never forget asking him what he thought about the show

His answer… “It was just so….gay….”

AmazonRed™

January 25th, 2011
4:19 pm

So you can go “Argh” either to yourself or over the computer. Either way, I figured you’d same something like that.

Leave me lone Leggs.

SlimNumeroUno

January 25th, 2011
4:23 pm

Speaking of Kid n Play, I personally don’t think Kid has been aging all that well….sort of put him in the category of Whitley from Different World. (Forgot her real name)

SlimNumeroUno

January 25th, 2011
4:24 pm

“It was just so….gay….”

Ared – I almost choked on my tata chips…I can picture a manly dude saying that and shuddering at the same time like his skin crawled.

SlimNumeroUno

January 25th, 2011
4:26 pm

Re: Men in tights

Went to see the Nutcracker one year and I simply could not concentrate bc the main guy had such a ……cough cough….um….large…groin area… I just remember sitting next to my aunt and it was the funniest thing to hear her go “Dayuuuuum” up under her breath. I think all the women in the room were a bit taken back.

Leggs

January 25th, 2011
4:27 pm

Jasmine Guy.

AmazonRed™

January 25th, 2011
4:29 pm

I can picture a manly dude saying that and shuddering at the same time like his skin crawled

That’s soooo how it went down. I so had tears of laughter. Had to love him a lil bit more for sacrificing his time and money to make me happy.

SlimNumeroUno

January 25th, 2011
4:30 pm

Thanks Leggs Had a brain fart

Leggs

January 25th, 2011
4:54 pm

“A lot of people have gone farther than they thought they could because someone else thought they could.” ~ Zig Ziglar

ENJOY LIFE!

Leggs

January 25th, 2011
4:54 pm

And, Good night!

SlimNumeroUno

January 25th, 2011
4:57 pm

Nitey Nite

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