Break-up or get married?
I remember back in high school when I was dating my first love senior year. Everyone would say that we were either going to break up or get married. I remember it so vividly because it became a serious source of anxiety for me. After graduation, we didn’t break up or get married. We kept dating. Yes, that’s right. Door number 3 ..that nobody bothered to mention. I don’t know how I let people work me into a frenzy about stuff that was going to happen in the future!
I can see that little has changed though. I have noticed a couple of friends who have been dating a little over two years and already the chatter circling around dropping the “break up or get married” hints. I don’t think things are that simple. Maybe I’m being naive. We talked long-term potential yesterday, but should you know by the second year of dating if the person is right for you?
Does it always come down to breaking up or getting married? What’s behind door number 3?
What do you think is a realistic and reasonable time frame to determine if there is a future?
Do you think it’s a bad sign if there is no “future” talk in a relationship after you have been exclusively dating?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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263 comments Add your comment
cba
January 25th, 2011
1:38 pm
Private schools are forced to accept every Tom, Dick, Harry, Montavious, Peaches………
BlackMagicWoman
January 25th, 2011
1:38 pm
SWISS….you have now be oficially crowned,,,”That Crazy White Boy”. Speaking of…where the other one?
cba
January 25th, 2011
1:40 pm
Private Schools ARE NOT
i'm swiss™
January 25th, 2011
1:42 pm
kimmie — The biggest problem I see with public schools is that there no real way to thin the herd, so to speak. This whole “no child left behind” idea is great, theoretically, in reality, not so much. And don’t even get me started on the discipline issues… The year I taught literally 1/4 of my students had been kicked out of the alternative school & were back in my classroom. Let me say that again: the alternative school couldn’t do anything with these kids, yet they’re still allowed back into a normal classroom. Yeah, that worked out well….
Dan - Simply...Superior
January 25th, 2011
1:45 pm
@Swiss
Because alternative schools are busy dealing with children that should be treated for mental health issues.
A couple of fights in school dont rate for the alternative campus
DreamsMaterialize
January 25th, 2011
1:50 pm
Raqi I’m leaning toward private too. I just want to make sure I’m getting the most for the money and that it is a good fit for my daughter. I looked into one school that said about 80% of its grad go to one particular school. I’m not paying 20k a year for my child’s opportunities to be that limited. I want to know that kids graduate and enroll in lots of different univerisities, not shoveled into one or two schools. So, where did the kids go before Peatchtree Middle opened?
kimmie
January 25th, 2011
1:54 pm
Swiss – I’m a product of public school and my mom was a public school teacher. I have seen what a school can do if all parties cooperate and work together – parents, students, teacher, the administration. But that was a different time. My SO’s kids are in a fantastic charter school. The parents are required to put in a certain amount of volunteer hours a year. The teachers communicate very closely with the parents on the child’s progress. They seem to have found a system that works. Both kids are ahead of some of their regular public school counterparts.
But once last year, when SO’s son was falling behind, SO was being a little to lenient. It was not working and his teachers were blowing up the phone and email and scheduling conferences. It wasn’t really my place to say much, but I did tell SO that his son was not going to get serious until HE got serious.
He took it to heart and there has been a vast improvement!
i'm swiss™
January 25th, 2011
1:54 pm
Dan — True. I just think that if you have kids who clearly don’t want to be in school and no amount of “discipline” (and I use that term loosely, because schools are mostly neutered in that department these days) can prevent them from being a disruption, then why keep taking them back? They’re already f__k-ups. That’s not going to change by osmosis from sitting in a classroom. Get them out so that those who actually want to learn can…
i'm swiss™
January 25th, 2011
1:55 pm
Oops.. didn’t mean for that to be all bold…
DreamsMaterialize
January 25th, 2011
1:57 pm
A couple of fights in school dont rate for the alternative campus.
Dan Yeah but it doesn’t rate for the “normal” one either, if it’s a pattern. I don’t want a few jackasses hindering my kid’s education. If no one there can work with them, then they need to find somewhere else for them to go…and their parents too (’cause they’re often the biggest contributor).
i'm swiss™
January 25th, 2011
1:57 pm
kimmie — Same here. And from Kindergarten through 5th grade, my mom was always in the same building as me. I had no other option but to be a nerd…
PrincessNik
January 25th, 2011
1:57 pm
Kimmie,
Did you say you and SO were going to do Vegas for the wedding?
kimmie
January 25th, 2011
2:01 pm
Princess – Yes. We have been lazy about sitting down and making definite plans, but been gathering info. I am so excited though. I’ve been wanting to get back to Vegas for a long time and SO has never been, so that will be our honeymoon as well!
DreamsMaterialize
January 25th, 2011
2:01 pm
I have seen what a school can do if all parties cooperate and work together – parents, students, teacher, the administration.
kimmie I agree, although I’d parental involvement is the biggest piece. Parental involvement can influence all the other three. I’ve seen PTA’s influence teacher hiring/firing, financial investments from local businesses, the whole nine.
kimmie
January 25th, 2011
2:04 pm
Swiss – You’re better off! Of course, I couldn’t get away with anything even if I tried because, while she was at a different school, she was TOTALLY on the teacher’s side about anything involving me or my brothers! It was nothing for her to just pop up!
Like I said, we’re better off!
PrincessNik
January 25th, 2011
2:04 pm
Kimmie
So will it be a wedding-wedding or a “vegas special”?
Dan - Simply...Superior
January 25th, 2011
2:05 pm
@Swiss/Dreams
I agree, but you can’t account for the personality differences in any/every school.
While a fight wasn’t a big deal during my formative years, think about the difference in “magnet” or private schools. Those kids are fighting for the rest of their lives.
In my school, you raised your hand; I see some of these younger kids blurting isht out.
In my day, you fought after school and it was over with; these days the bullies are online taunting you relentlessly.
My point is, private or public, there will always be dominating arseholes that will try and take over a situation, adjusting to that (and getting what you need in the process) is part of growning up and navigating the world.
Though, I’m glad we could settle ours at fist BITD
kimmie
January 25th, 2011
2:05 pm
Dreams – Yep!
Mo (aka Moeisha)
January 25th, 2011
2:05 pm
Hey all! I’ll just jump right in…too much to catch up on….
kimmie – Lil Mo goes to a theme school and they also have the required parent volunteer hours. even though this is only the first year, this system seems to work so Im sticking with it! I didnt want to do private school but I did want to make sure Lil Mo would be challenged
Hope everyone is doing well!
kimmie
January 25th, 2011
2:08 pm
Princess – Very small wedding-wedding, at one of the hotels, not a cheesy Elvis chapel!LOL!! A few friends and family really want to come, and I want some nice pictures, so we’ve narrowed it down to Bellagio, The Venetian or Ceasars. All have nice wedding packages that include beautiful scenery for pictures!
i'm swiss™
January 25th, 2011
2:11 pm
Apparently, god wants us all to be packing heat at all times, too…
Stone wrote in a filing, however, “In very large part, my motivation to carry a firearm as a matter of habit derives from one of my Lord’s last recorded statements at the ‘last supper,’ that ‘whoever has no sword is to sell his coat and buy one … I believe that this injunction requires me to obtain, keep and carry a firearm wherever I happen to be.”
i'm swiss™
January 25th, 2011
2:15 pm
Dan — I wasn’t thinking of fights. I never had a fight break out in my classroom. But I did have a number of kids who were either persistent disruptions or required so much of my attention to keep them in line as to detract from quality of instruction for the other 29 kids. These are the kids I’m saying should be removed from the classroom for the greater good.
Kym-The Steelers are the AFC Champs!
January 25th, 2011
2:17 pm
Okay how did we get on the kids? The boy is in a public high school..but it is pretty diverse. I did charter school for awhile..but err..yeah those are hit and miss and that is all I have to say about that.
Kym-The Steelers are the AFC Champs!
January 25th, 2011
2:18 pm
And if teachers don’t have enough drama..I see in Cali where the second graders are into oral sex in the classrooms now.
Dan - Simply...Superior
January 25th, 2011
2:19 pm
@Swiss
I know, I brought up fights to equate the “distraction element”.
Let’s try another one; the overachiever “think R. Witherspoon in election”.
The kid that won’t let anyone get anything out in response to a question, worse that a “once an hour class clown”, this kid(s) won’t let anyone else even answer.
You can’t assess the other students for their understanding of the subject matter, and just the same as the persistent disruptions, these kid(s) require your attention.
That’s what Ridalin overachievers get you
PrincessNik
January 25th, 2011
2:19 pm
Kimmie
define small, lol not everyones idea of small is the same. SO’s sister is getting married in vegas in May can’t remember the location off the top of my head. I’m probably not going but I am encouraging him to go………….
i'm swiss™
January 25th, 2011
2:20 pm
“I see in Cali where the second graders are into oral sex in the classrooms now.”
Kym — That must be the AP Hoochie class…
i'm swiss™
January 25th, 2011
2:25 pm
Dan — I get what you’re saying, but I don’t really think the two equate from a practical standpoint. Those overachiever types (while admittedly annoying sometimes) are pretty easy to deal with, in my opinion. (Just call on someone else, for example). I promise you, I’d much rather have a room full of those than the kids I described, at any rate…
Kym-The Steelers are the AFC Champs!
January 25th, 2011
2:26 pm
@Swiss..I swear I am going to not watch or listen to the news and then something happens to suck me back in..this is just so crazy. The school is in Oakland.
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=133126746
SlimNumeroUno
January 25th, 2011
2:26 pm
How do you even know what Oral relations are in the 2nd grade?? Dayum!
Leggs
January 25th, 2011
2:26 pm
Good afternoon…
Can any of you offer a recap???
kimmie
January 25th, 2011
2:26 pm
Princess – We’re talking under 15 guests. We were just going to elope but a few friends want to come. Also, a dear uncle(mom’s brother) who is like a 2nd father to me lives only a few hours from Vegas and last night asked to give me away. My mom’s sister, my aunt, I know wants to come as well. Both my parents are deceased. A few good friends say they want to come too.
My SO’s first wedding was small – he said it was probably 30 guests.
Find out where your SO’s sis is getting married, please!, and let me know.
Dan - Simply...Superior
January 25th, 2011
2:28 pm
@Slim
Cause Mommy and Uncle Dayoftheweek don’t care about closing doors.
kimmie
January 25th, 2011
2:29 pm
I can’t even fathom that, I would have a heart attack. 2nd graders don’t even know how to wipe good when they go to the bathroom!
DreamsMaterialize
January 25th, 2011
2:30 pm
kimmie ya’ll are going to gain about 15 pounds…Vegas has the best buffets. lol
PrincessNik
January 25th, 2011
2:32 pm
Kimmie
Ok, the invite is at home on the counter so I may pop back in after 4 and give you an answer or tomorrow.
See 15 guests thats my idea of small too!! I know the only way i’d be able to do that is keep my mom’s hands out of it LOL.
Kym-The Steelers are the AFC Champs!
January 25th, 2011
2:33 pm
@kimmie..I loved Vegas when I went.
The schools said it was just children being curious that got out of hand because the teacher was not watching them. I think some parents forget the school is not the baby sitter.
kimmie
January 25th, 2011
2:38 pm
Thanks Princess!
Dreams – I know, I went about 12 years ago and my uncle had to drag me out of Vegas! I had so much fun. I ate and drank a lot but walked it all off. And sweated – it got up to 112 degrees when I was there!
Kym – It’s the best, I can’t wait!
i'm swiss™
January 25th, 2011
2:39 pm
“How do you even know what Oral relations are in the 2nd grade?? Dayum!”
Slim — That’s one heck of a “head” start program…
SlimNumeroUno
January 25th, 2011
2:44 pm
swiss – I’m going to have to get a computer condom if you keep this up.
Kym-The Steelers are the AFC Champs!
January 25th, 2011
2:47 pm
Random thought, vent or statement..Women over 40 should not have rainbow bright color hair or hairpieces.
SlimNumeroUno
January 25th, 2011
2:47 pm
‘Cause Mommy and Uncle Dayoftheweek don’t care about closing doors’
Dan – Let’s add the accessibility of it on the internet too. A friend of mine said a student had even downloaded a ‘flick’ on his DDS then brought it to school.
Leggs
January 25th, 2011
2:50 pm
Didn’t I just say last week that these girls don’t consider oral sex as having sex. But, dayum, the second grade. What are they thinking, they’re going to such on a lollipop in the boy’s underoos!!!
Leggs
January 25th, 2011
2:50 pm
meant “suck” on a lollipop…
kimmie
January 25th, 2011
2:55 pm
Kym – How about NOBODY should have rainbow bright hair or hairpieces, unless it is part of a costume, no matter the age!LOL!!
Kym-The Steelers are the AFC Champs!
January 25th, 2011
2:57 pm
@Leggs..I tell ya the news is not happy..not happy at all. On a happier note..I am going to try one of Paula Deen’s Ladies Brunch Burgers this weekend..gonna make it myself too. A burger, two slices of bacon, using two doughnuts as the bun. I am skipping the fried egg..that is just gross.
PrincessNik
January 25th, 2011
2:58 pm
using two doughnuts as the bun
Kym that is interesting…….
Kym-The Steelers are the AFC Champs!
January 25th, 2011
2:59 pm
@kimmie I just marvel at what folks think is cute these days and then they post it on Facebook. LOL!!!
Leggs
January 25th, 2011
2:59 pm
Don’t do it, Kym!!!
Kym-The Steelers are the AFC Champs!
January 25th, 2011
2:59 pm
@PrincessNik..I read NPR’s Sandwhich Mondays..that is the one sandwhich I want to try.