Playing for keeps: Long-term potential important?

Mr_NYC

January 24th, 2011
8:29 am

Good morning all – I don’t make coffee but I did bring cheesecake.

If it happens naturally maybe that’s a good thing. Sometimes we try so hard to stick to a plan and make things happen we forget the beauty of allowing things to unfold. Of course, we don’t throw caution to the wind and take on what is no good for us.
Whether or not you consider long-term potential at first meet depends on where you are in the dating life stage.
Some of the characteristics that make for long-term potential take time to manifest themselves and be observed. The deal breakers are usually right in front of your face, but some of the more subtle qualities take time to recognize.
My $.02 today. YMMW

SlimNumeroUno

January 24th, 2011
8:49 am

Good morning Mr NYC….please tell me you have fresh strawberry topping for that cheesecake?

Mo (aka Moeisha)

January 24th, 2011
8:53 am

Damn Mr_NYC – preciate the cheesecake! My fav!

On topic – “How do you figure out when someone has long-term potential if you didn’t really bother checking for it in the beginning?” IMO its something that you see in the person as you spend time with them, its definitely not something you see at first glance.

“Do you consider long-term potential important when you meet someone and go out with them?” No, if I have just met them then Im taking them at face value. We just met and we are going out, thats it.

q

January 24th, 2011
8:59 am

Think of choosing a mate like investing in the stock market.
#1 the golden rule in investing is never invest more than you can afford to lose. In dating never invest more of yourself[love] than you can affor to lose. That way you can move on without hurting.

#2 do you want long term growth or quick appreciation. That means the prospect has a great job already.

#3 Are there dividends, like inlaws having serious money.

These are a few of the ideas, personally I like to go for the gold[commodities] right away and if I strike it, I move on as soon as the mine plays out.

Dan - Simply...Superior

January 24th, 2011
9:09 am

Morning,

I tend to think of “long term potential” as something both exclusionary and mystical.

If, after a while of dating/mating, I can’t find reasons to overcome some of your annoying habits (and vice versa), then it’s not “meant to be”.

However, I also marvel at the fact that people wind up spending so much time with someone – even if it’s just hanging out – only to realize 6 months into it that this person “fits”.

So, for me the key is comfort. If I feel comfortable enough around you that I don’t need to front (which I usually don’t anyway), I don’t feel the need to hold my tongue (which I usually don’t anyway), from there it’s a matter of going deeper to find out how much we have in common.

Because for me, if I can’t be comfortable around/with you, then regardless of your “qualities/qualifications” ween gone make it no way.

Sorry for the long post..

SlimNumeroUno

January 24th, 2011
9:29 am

‘if I can’t be comfortable around/with you, then regardless of your “qualities/qualifications” ween gone make it no way’

Like how you put that Dan da man

Mr_NYC

January 24th, 2011
9:30 am

@Slim – not just topping, but fresh strawberries with a little sugar.
How shall I slice them for you.
Also, have whipped topping.

AmazonRed™ - Aaron Rodgers is that dude!

January 24th, 2011
9:37 am

Morning all -

Long term potential is essential! (hey that rhymes ) You know why? Cuz folks who are “out for a good time” can be some of the laziest, careless folks when it comes to sex. And with that, there are a LOT of babies that result from such hook ups, locking you with them for…the long term!

Mr_NYC

January 24th, 2011
9:42 am

Making babies with the wrong folks, now that is the ultimate long-term potential with a negative outcome

Dan - Simply...Superior

January 24th, 2011
9:43 am

@Slim

we talk about on here, and I hear my friends that aren’t in a relationship lament all the time about how good they are, or their qualities, qualifications, preparations, etc.

And, because they’re friends, we talk openly about things like, how do you make someone feel? If people are always nervous, quiet, or boastful, what are you putting out there?

SlimNumeroUno

January 24th, 2011
9:53 am

NYC – As long as they taste good, I really don’t care how you slice em & dice em. And I’m cool on the cream…however, I may need to borrow a can in 3wks

DreamsMaterialize

January 24th, 2011
9:55 am

Long term potential is essential! (hey that rhymes )
ARed You gettin’ Jesse on us this morning. lol

On Topic:
There are some signs of long term potential right up front, and I do check for those. The presence or lack of long term qualities can still have short term effects. The other things take time, and if we’re around each other long enough they’ll come out.

kimmie

January 24th, 2011
9:58 am

Good morning!

Dan – On your 9:43 – I feel ya on that. A lot of times folks look good on paper, but in an actual relationship they can come up short.

As for long-term potential, I’ve never been into casual dating very much, so I’m looking for basic long-term potential coming out of the gate. Basic stuff like not still living with ya mama at age 40, steady employment, reliable transportation, decent conversation, no radically different religion that me, etc. Like I’ve never been one to go on even one date with a bad boy, justifying by saying “Hey, I’m just hanging out, keeping it light”. People that do stuff like that,yes they are the ones with totally unplanned pregnancies with a loser. You grown, you have no one to blame but yourself!

No need in looking crazy when you’ve let yourself catch feelings for someone without that long-term potential! You should have never let it get that far.

Sorry, I guess I’m just not “fun” like that! But I’ve enjoyed myself dating, so I’ve always just done what worked for me.

SlimNumeroUno

January 24th, 2011
10:03 am

‘Making babies with the wrong folks, now that is the ultimate long-term potential with a negative outcome’

That’s exactly why I haven’t had any little seedlings yet. Would hate to date someone who wouldn’t/couldnt commit to me but ended up being forever attached to me due to some kid we made in error.

‘If people are always nervous, quiet, or boastful, what are you putting out there?’

Dan – Good point…

Frugal Chef

January 24th, 2011
10:06 am

great recipes at http://www.thefrugalchef.blogspot.com

Dan - Simply...Superior

January 24th, 2011
10:16 am

Yeah, the making babies part always scared me.

That’s why I developed my obsession for condoms.

I have them in various jackets, coats, luggage and in my car, briefcase(s), house.

I ain’t making no babies with what could be the wrong chick.

Leggs

January 24th, 2011
10:23 am

Good morning.

@kimmie ~ I’m feeling your post. I’m looking or long-term out the gate. Sure, it will start off as casual dating as I get to know him, but since I know what I want I’m better equipped to know what I will tolerate toward the road of getting to know you better and what I won’t.

SexyCool

January 24th, 2011
10:27 am

Make sure you’re checking the expiration dates on those things regularly.

Kym-Yeah uh huh you know what it is...

January 24th, 2011
10:28 am

Good Morning All,

Wisey I don’t have an aversion to commitment..more like..well I don’t really know how to describe it. But I would think it is pretty rare that someone dates and knows from the word go that this person is the one. So why not keep it light and see how it goes. But I am with Dan I just want to be comfortable with the one I am with and if things progress to a more steady pace then cool..if not then still cool. But if I have to always be “on guard” well then what’s the point.

SexyCool

January 24th, 2011
10:32 am

Coincidentally, there is an article on Yahoo! today entitled “7 Factors for Lasting Love.”

Celisea

January 24th, 2011
10:32 am

Morning,

What Dan said, what Kimmie said, what Kym said……….

SlimNumeroUno

January 24th, 2011
10:34 am

‘I have them in various jackets, coats, luggage and in my car, briefcase(s), house’

Dan – Daaaaaaamn, If I was at your spot I wouldn’t know what to think if I went to fix me a drink and there are Trojans stashed away in the freezer, butter dish holder, fruit drawer, behind the sammich meat and in the glass cabinet. lol I might think you had a slight problem….

Dan - Simply...Superior

January 24th, 2011
10:34 am

@SC

It’s part of the obsession; and thanks for the reminder.

Kym-Yeah uh huh you know what it is...

January 24th, 2011
10:35 am

@Dan you have an obsession with condoms?

Dan - Simply...Superior

January 24th, 2011
10:40 am

@Kym

Yes, having them (though, the obsession is waning) available, cause when I was single…you just never knew when it could go down.

At Slim – you funny.

But just like y’all like to leave eyeliner or pads, I leave condoms (if I plan on returning).

Raqi V

January 24th, 2011
10:42 am

Long term potential?

IMO from a logical POV consider the person’s age and then look at how long they have been with their current employer and the one prior that. How many times have they changed employment over the last 5 years and why? Consider their living situation and how long they have lived in where they live. How many times have they moved throughout the years and why?

If you find that a person cannot stick with something when it comes to just everyday living and necessities there is a huge chance that they cannot hang on to a relationship. Rather they do not have the desire or ability to stick around for long.

Now just because a person has been with the same employer for 15-20 years and living at the same address for 10 years does not automatically make them your long term potential. Neither does it make them a great catch however IMO it does say much.

Jobs bring much adversity at times. When you find someone that is able to endure…go with the flow…conquer that person has staying ability. That person has the spirit of perseverance. That person has determination.

Now has for having those little original traits that each individual want in a long term partner? That’s all about personal preference. But looking for signs of having the composition of what it takes to do long term, let their records speak for them.

At times we have to be logical and remove the intimacy and romance from the equation to take a good look at the overall track record. And directly related to the topic what about the number of long term relationships they have had in the past?

Kym-Yeah uh huh you know what it is...

January 24th, 2011
10:43 am

@Dan..don’t say y’all..I practice “the leave no trace” way of dating. Why? Because old dude will not be leaving anything at my place.

AmazonRed™ - Aaron Rodgers is that dude!

January 24th, 2011
10:45 am

Daaaaaaamn, If I was at your spot I wouldn’t know what to think if I went to fix me a drink and there are Trojans stashed away in the freezer, butter dish holder, fruit drawer, behind the sammich meat and in the glass cabinet. lol I might think you had a slight problem….

I remember this guy came over to cook me dinner. He was up in my kitchen skinning and deboning whole chickens and mixing up stuff I’d never heard of. It was impressive. He got up from my couch to check on the food and I notice there was a condom left in his wake. I guess he had it in his back pocket and it slipped out.

In any case, that’s the last time he saw the inside of my crib.

AmazonRed™ - Aaron Rodgers is that dude!

January 24th, 2011
10:45 am

But just like y’all like to leave eyeliner or pads,

Um…no.

SlimNumeroUno

January 24th, 2011
10:46 am

Dan – Um…i’ve never left feminine hygiene products at a dudes spot that I was merely dating….outside of my ex who I dated off and on for nearly a dayum decade. lol But we lived together for almost 3 of those years. I may leave a toof brush but all that other stuff goes in my travel bag.

Raqi V

January 24th, 2011
10:47 am

I ain’t making no babies with what could be the wrong chick.

Are you even aware of how many people that was sure that chick/chuck was the right chick/chuck until after the break up?

In fact, take a poll on this here blog and ask who all purposely married someone and/or had a child with someone knowing clearly that person was not the right person to be engaging with.

I bet you 95% of the people will say when they married and/or procreated with that ex all was more than fine and dandy at the time.

Dan - Simply...Superior

January 24th, 2011
10:48 am

@Raqi

I like that logic, though consider the alternative to “stick toitness”

There are people that stay in “dead-end” jobs because they are afraid to leave, afraid to try something new, afraid to challenge themselves, or afraid of failure.

In that case, I don’t want someone that has been “on fries for 5 years” or made manager via seniority.

Likewise, just becuase someone moves or has a number of gigs in a certain timeframe, it doesn’t equate to flakiness (though, as you stated, it could).

I’m as much a proponent for logic as you may find, however, logic can not be applied without facts and context.

AmazonRed™ - Aaron Rodgers is that dude!

January 24th, 2011
10:49 am

@Dan..don’t say y’all..I practice “the leave no trace” way of dating

Dan – Um…i’ve never left feminine hygiene products at a dudes spot that I was merely dating….

I often wonder if these guys actually say stuff like this from real life women they’ve dealt with… or if they get it from sitcoms.

SlimNumeroUno

January 24th, 2011
10:49 am

‘He got up from my couch to check on the food and I notice there was a condom left in his wake. I guess he had it in his back pocket and it slipped out’

Ared – that’s funny….how Presumptuous of him to think he’d get some after deboning whole chickens and all that jazz…guess he was prepared to debone summa you too. lol

Reminds me of going out with a dude and when I hugged him goodnight, I could hear the rustling of the condom in his pocket. Cold BUSTED because that’s a sound that’s very distinct.

Dan - Simply...Superior

January 24th, 2011
10:52 am

@Raqi (10:47)

Again, I see your logic.

But for me, why chance it until I’m sure? I don’t take committment lightly, and for darn sure don’t take having kids lightly.

So, I stay strapped, until I’m sure that this is someone that I plan on being with – period.

And yes, I failed to mention the “crazy later” effect, because that’s a fear of mine as well; but I’m aquainted with (anecdotally) the scenario you spoke of.

Raqi V

January 24th, 2011
10:53 am

Having the “permission” or the freedom to leave your stuff at your mate’s place goes along with being exclusive. Really the only reason someone will not want you leaving personal items at their place is because they don’t want the next person that will be passing thru to see it.

Heck if you are going to be in and out of there on the regular why not have a stash of necessities tucked away in a drawer? I mean should every date and mate session have to be scheduled?

I loved the freedom of just deciding to stay at his place overnight after a date and having what I needed in the morning. At some point you should be beyond having to pack an overnight bag to spend time with that special someone. Yeah you may have to wear the same outer clothes home the next day but you should at least have a clean pair of undies and a toothbrush to use.

AmazonRed™ - Aaron Rodgers is that dude!

January 24th, 2011
10:53 am

how Presumptuous of him to think he’d get some after deboning whole chickens and all that jazz…guess he was prepared to debone summa you too. lol

Slim – Exactly. I’m mad he thought the panties would drop cuz he knows how to use and oven.

Though one of my friends joked she’s given it up after a 6 piece wing dinner….so there you go. I’ll give him her number next time!

DreamsMaterialize

January 24th, 2011
10:53 am

So, what are some signs of long term potential for the ladies? Let’s get some examples going.

AmazonRed™ - Aaron Rodgers is that dude!

January 24th, 2011
10:54 am

Reminds me of going out with a dude and when I hugged him goodnight, I could hear the rustling of the condom in his pocket. Cold BUSTED because that’s a sound that’s very distinct

Right.

AmazonRed™ - Aaron Rodgers is that dude!

January 24th, 2011
10:55 am

So, what are some signs of long term potential for the ladies?

Payin my bills…

Dan - Simply...Superior

January 24th, 2011
10:56 am

@Red

My girl left an eyeliner pencil in my car, and make up in my primary luggage. I say “left” because I found them later.

I’ve had girls leave lipstick, pads (individual not boxes), and panties in their wake. So you learn to look for it, if you think she’s inclined to that sort of behavior.

AmazonRed™ - Aaron Rodgers is that dude!

January 24th, 2011
11:00 am

I’ve had girls leave lipstick, pads (individual not boxes), and panties in their wake.

Like I inferred, certain types of chicks do that.

But as many of us already disputed, we don’t “like” to do that, unless we’re shady or have an agenda.

Established relationships excluded.

Leggs

January 24th, 2011
11:02 am

@Dan ~ does she know you’re leaving condoms, or do you stash it somewhere like women stashes that one earing under the mattress. Hmmm, if a guy left a condom at my place without my knowledge and I found it, I would stare at it for a long time before throwing it away!

Raqi V

January 24th, 2011
11:05 am

Dan, did you miss where I said in that same post that those traits does not make one automatically long term potential? I stated that those are good indicators to judge determination and endurance on.

Raqi V

January 24th, 2011
11:06 am

Dan, I am not saying you should not be careful. I love my son to death but the truth is I should have been more careful. All I am saying is at that time I had no reason to feel even it that mistake did happen the man I was with was not the right guy.

I don’t know if you have ever been married before, but I am willing to bet when and if you do get married pretty much every about that woman will be right in your mind when you marry her. And you will freely make babies with her. Only if you two separate and/or get divorced will you think she was not the right one after all. No one purposely marries the wrong person.

Like I said I am not saying you should not be safe. But we don’t always know it’s not the right one until we know that was not the right one. We sometimes blind ourselves to the truth.

And then sometimes that person is and can stay the right one when you choose to make it work.

AmazonRed™ - Aaron Rodgers is that dude!

January 24th, 2011
11:08 am

LOL @ Leggs. Dude does kinda sound like a fiend. Keeping a stash in your crib and your car should be enough.

With my last dude, he had to go out and search his truck once, he found one. But even still, I would have still been cool if he had to go to the store, ya know. I guess some guys figure if they can’t get it now, they won’t get it.

Leggs

January 24th, 2011
11:08 am

@ARed ~ I have never left anything at a guy’s apartment marking my territory. No matter how old you are, it’s a childish move!

Raqi V

January 24th, 2011
11:08 am

Dan, on the “leaving stuff” issue are you talking about woman that hide stuff in your belonging to be found later or are you just against a woman “keeping” a few necessities at your place? With your knowledge and permission that is.

Dan - Simply...Superior

January 24th, 2011
11:08 am

@Raqi

No ma’am I didn’t.

I was merely pointing out the other side of that very coin. Determination and endurance are great qualities when applied in pursuit of a worthy goal; and in that we agree. But scared money don’t make money neither.

AmazonRed™ - Aaron Rodgers is that dude!

January 24th, 2011
11:09 am

but I am willing to bet when and if you do get married pretty much every about that woman will be right in your mind when you marry her.

Raqi – You’re spot on of course, but you know these dudes aren’t thinking of marriage with every chick they cut! That’s why they keep the stash everywhere…for those lucky nights after the club.

Celisea

January 24th, 2011
11:10 am

This convo reminds me of the dude that blogged about keeping a duffle bag in his car to rinse off (albeit no sink and running water) in between and before on to the next.

AmazonRed™ - Aaron Rodgers is that dude!

January 24th, 2011
11:12 am

@ARed ~ I have never left anything at a guy’s apartment marking my territory. No matter how old you are, it’s a childish move!

Right! I mean panties?! You came in there with em and i know you feel that extra wind when you leave there without em!

Now, there are times I’ve left stuff, purely on accident. Like an earring. And when I get home and notice them missing I will call dude and be like “I left my earring by mistake” can you put it aside for me til I can get it again? I don’t expect it to be sitting in the same place where I left it! I expect it to be stashed away so it’s not even a good “trick!”

SlimNumeroUno

January 24th, 2011
11:14 am

Raqi – I know you weren’t necessarily addressing the whole ‘Having the “permission” or the freedom to leave your stuff at your mate’s place goes along with being exclusive’ deal towards me or Ared. In my current situation it isn’t an issue for me to leave stuff there which I have but I was speaking specifically in regards to feminine type products. I don’t do the leave little stuff on purpose thing just to test and see if he puts it away or whatever. I have left stuff there accidentally and it wasn’t stashed away hidden in the back of a drawer lol. Matter of fact, he is the one who told me that I need to have certain things over there. He was joking around saying, Come on Slim, you know how this works…first you start out with a toothbrush, then you’re supposed to ‘accidentally’ leave yo draws, then a shirt etc and next thing you know you’ll have a whole space in the closet. lolol

Dan - Simply...Superior

January 24th, 2011
11:21 am

@Leggs

I’m a personal property rights kinda guy – so I ask if it’s okay.

@Raqi (11:08)

Nope, I’m talking about hiding stuff. In the sock drawers, medicine cabinet, under the sink.

@Raqi (11:06)

As ARed stated, I was a guy that when I was on my dougie, I was on it.

There were (usually) no “if, and, or buts” about my intentions.

And that’s because I believe marriage is sacred. So in the vain of that belief, you’re right, I’ve done my diligence, sown my royal oats, and waited to make a conclusion by the time I propose (again).

DreamsMaterialize

January 24th, 2011
11:21 am

Payin my bills…
ARed Wasn’t Steve McNair paying the bills for his side chick? I think she decided he didn’t have long-term potential…or maybe she decided his potential was eternal…in the after life. lol

No one purposely marries the wrong person
Raqi shyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyt. lol I know someone right now who’s leaving her husband of 20 years because she said she never really wanted to marry him. Funny thing is I bet her husband thought she had long term potential…after 20 years he probably thought it was a given.

Celisea

January 24th, 2011
11:22 am

……..and how folks were either on one side of the fence or the other. How if exclusive it just makes sense to have a few essentials of his at your place and your at his place. And how some folks no matter how exclusive don’t want nothing left behind or left over. Just reminds me of that whole conversation…

Celisea

January 24th, 2011
11:24 am

Dreams – That whole Steve McNair thingy…wasn’t he married? We can’t use that example….he was already in a long term. Now his wife may not see in retrospect he wasn’t long term material

Celisea

January 24th, 2011
11:25 am

“now” not “not”

Dan - Simply...Superior

January 24th, 2011
11:30 am

@Red

Were you being serious or sarcastic with the “pay[ing] of the bills” comment?

Raqi V

January 24th, 2011
11:30 am

I don’t do the leave little stuff on purpose thing just to test and see if he puts it away or whatever

Slim, I agree to that ^ being very immature and childish. No woman over the age of 25 should be doing that. If she is she is clearly not ready for an adult relationship.

I guess since I honed in on Dan’s comment I missed the entirety of the conversation.

As for the feminine products, yeah I used to keep a stash that now hub’s place. You know for those emergency times. LOL I was very irregular for a span of time and never knew when to expect my aunt to flow.

AmazonRed™ - Aaron Rodgers is that dude!

January 24th, 2011
11:30 am

@Dreams – Yeah, Steve McNair is a bad example. In any case, she did feel he had long term potential…which is why she laid up under him for so long and took him with her.

AmazonRed™ - Aaron Rodgers is that dude!

January 24th, 2011
11:30 am

Were you being serious or sarcastic with the “pay[ing] of the bills” comment?

What do you think?

kimmie

January 24th, 2011
11:32 am

Dreams – On Q100 this morning, they had a lady call in that has been married for 15 years to a man she is not in love with. She said basically he was a rebound guy – the guy she had been seeing was really ugly to her and this guy was nice. They married and have an 11 yr old daughter that they both are extremely close to. She said they only get intimate about twice a year. She said he loves her so much he just deals with it, but she doesn’t love him. She said they moved here from up north when they married. She says she feels trapped because she has no other friends or family here. She doesn’t know whether to stick it out at least until the child is 18 or go ahead and divorce him and move back north.

Raqi V

January 24th, 2011
11:32 am

Dan, I don’t doubt that it has happened and will happen again for someone. However for the vast majority of regular folks (like us), we don’t go marrying someone we truly believe is not the right one at that time.

SexyCool

January 24th, 2011
11:32 am

Hiding stuff in sock drawers, medicine cabinets, under sinks?!?

Really?!?!?

Wow!!!….let me say that backwards….”Wow!!!”

Raqi V

January 24th, 2011
11:36 am

SexyCool, I know “Wow”. How old are these women? 16? LOL

And you know I just cannot believe the guys that get with these women don’t see signs of this being present. But then some men are just so gung ho about getting the goods they don’t stop to think about the outcome of getting with the crazy one.

Leggs

January 24th, 2011
11:36 am

@ARed ~ Exactly! Once I realized I left something, I will call you immediately and inform you that I left it there. The only territory I’m going to mark is my home w/my husband. Other than that, I ain’t leaving any of my stuff anywhere!!!

kimmie

January 24th, 2011
11:38 am

Yeah, that is rather immature, but these women still seem to get the guys.

AmazonRed™ - Aaron Rodgers is that dude!

January 24th, 2011
11:39 am

Alright ladies…lets stop being surprised at hootrat behavior.

Dan - Simply...Superior

January 24th, 2011
11:42 am

@Red

I don’t know, it’s why I asked (I surmised the latter).

And, to your 11:39, it’s not hoodrat behavior. I know uber-degree’d women that get caught doing silly stuff.

i'm swiss™

January 24th, 2011
11:43 am

Morning all…

Okay, ladies… All of you that are ragging on dudes for being “presumptuous” for having condoms on them need to ease up. If we’re just starting to go out with you, we have no idea how slutty you may or may not be. Like the Boy Scouts taught us: be prepared.

kimmie

January 24th, 2011
11:45 am

The behavior itself is hoodrat, whether the woman is degreed-up or not. Like I said before, though, it seems to still work either way, cause a lot of these dudes still marry those women that do stuff like that.

AmazonRed™ - Aaron Rodgers is that dude!

January 24th, 2011
11:46 am

Dan – I know that’s why you asked. I still wanted to know what you thought.

I was being sarcastic. I have yet to have a man pay a bill, I have yet to ask as well.

And hoodrats can have degrees.

DreamsMaterialize

January 24th, 2011
11:46 am

which is why she laid up under him for so long and took him with her.
ARed yeah they’ll be together forever now…

On Q100 this morning,
kimmie It’s a sad situation and especially tough on the kids. I bet it’s not that uncommon either.

@ARed ~ Exactly! Once I realized I left something, I will call you immediately and inform you that I left it there.
Leggs Every guy has had a chick leave something by accident, but somewhere way in the back of your mind you’re probably wondering if it was really an accident. lol

AmazonRed™ - Aaron Rodgers is that dude!

January 24th, 2011
11:47 am

The behavior itself is hoodrat, whether the woman is degreed-up or not.

Thank you kimmie. Men are so clueless!!!

Dan - Simply...Superior

January 24th, 2011
11:51 am

@Kimmie/Red

By your logic, hoodrat behavior is not limited to educational status?

Then, why should I be impressed, concerned, or [the oft misnomered] “intimitated” by a woman with degrees?

Kym-Yeah uh huh you know what it is...

January 24th, 2011
11:52 am

@kimmie..I am really starting to believe that I am going to be alone for the rest of my life because apparently I am exhibiting the usual behavior of these other “ladies” it seems that why guys will complain about an alleybat behavior..you seem to have no trouble chasing them down. Then when they start behaving according to their nature..we(all females) get lump in and label because of their foolishness.

AmazonRed™ - Aaron Rodgers is that dude!

January 24th, 2011
11:53 am

Then, why should I be impressed, concerned, or [the oft misnomered] “intimitated” by a woman with degrees?

Huh? Who said you should be?

DreamsMaterialize

January 24th, 2011
11:54 am

And, to your 11:39, it’s not hoodrat behavior. I know uber-degree’d women that get caught doing silly stuff.
Dan stupidity isn’t limited to the economically disadvantaged.

The behavior itself is hoodrat, whether the woman is degreed-up or not.
kimmie how is this behavior limited to “hoodrats”?

And hoodrats can have degrees.
ARed Can hoodrats be born into wealth too? ‘Cause they do the same stuff.

SexyCool

January 24th, 2011
11:54 am

I just wanted to type “wow” backwards. (lol)

AmazonRed™ - Aaron Rodgers is that dude!

January 24th, 2011
11:55 am

it seems that why guys will complain about an alleybat behavior..you seem to have no trouble chasing them down. Then when they start behaving according to their nature..we(all females) get lump in and label because of their foolishness.

I still love the term “alleybat”

And I’m still trippin off some chick leaving her panties…her panties really? I’ma need those!

Purple Rain

January 24th, 2011
11:55 am

Had some friends over this weekend and one of my friends did not know I was married he just knew I was back home. Upon him finding out I was married he said he would never get married again because he likes the change in variety know. So long term potential is not important to him at all. LOL

Never had a woman leave anything behind, but I have kept pairs of panties, but I asked her to leave them and it makes for a better ride home for her

AmazonRed™ - Aaron Rodgers is that dude!

January 24th, 2011
11:56 am

Can hoodrats be born into wealth too? ‘Cause they do the same stuff.

Hootrattiness is a state of mind. Look at “New New” from the movie “ATL.”

Kym-Yeah uh huh you know what it is...

January 24th, 2011
11:56 am

sorry that should read I am not..man I am really in need of a coke right now.

kimmie

January 24th, 2011
11:56 am

Then, why should I be impressed, concerned, or [the oft misnomered] “intimitated” by a woman with degrees?

Dan – You have to ask yourself that question, I really don’t know. I know for me personally, bad behavior is bad behavior, whether you are educated or not. I know folks that literally grew up with not much better than dirt floors, but they had good home-training.

DreamsMaterialize

January 24th, 2011
11:57 am

we(all females) get lump in and label because of their foolishness.
Kym wasn’t the guys who labeled them this morning. Besides, I thought I already told you last week that you stand apart. Imma need you start listening to me. lol

Purple Rain

January 24th, 2011
11:59 am

Cliff Notes please so I can know where I stand on the issue with the guys? LOL

DreamsMaterialize

January 24th, 2011
12:01 pm

Hootrattiness is a state of mind. Look at “New New” from the movie “ATL.”
ARed yeah but why does the state of mind have to be associated with poor people? poor people gotta take the label, even when it’s other people doing dumb shyyyyyt. Can we change the term to Estate-rat…just for blog purposes?

Kym-Yeah uh huh you know what it is...

January 24th, 2011
12:01 pm

@Dreams..yeah I know I do my best to be the best “square” peg I can be…LOL

kimmie

January 24th, 2011
12:01 pm

Kym – All I can say is keep hope alive(since we doing Jesse today, lol) and do YOU. I stopped LONG time ago listening to what men claim they don’t like or want, yet run these very same women down! Yes, they not only lump us all in the same category, but don’t know how to take it when they meet one of us that doesn’t fit that category! Yes, it defies logic!

Do Kym and someone will appreciate Kym for just who Kym is!

AmazonRed™ - Aaron Rodgers is that dude!

January 24th, 2011
12:01 pm

I know folks that literally grew up with not much better than dirt floors, but they had good home-training.

There it is…

Celisea

January 24th, 2011
12:03 pm

but why does the state of mind have to be associated with poor people? poor people gotta take the label, even when it’s other people doing dumb shyyyyyt.

Yeah cause there are so many so called smart chicks that make the dumbest moves but won’t call it such because they feel they’re above it. Yep yep yep

SexyCool

January 24th, 2011
12:03 pm

Dan – Did you mean “intimiDated”?

Just asking…I know your vocabulary is far more extensive than mine.

Purple Rain

January 24th, 2011
12:04 pm

Who lumps all women in one category? We know what category to put a woman in as soon as we met her and act accordingly. LOL

AmazonRed™ - Aaron Rodgers is that dude!

January 24th, 2011
12:04 pm

yeah but why does the state of mind have to be associated with poor people?

Because like it or not, there are certain types of behavior that can come from certain types of lifestyles, poor or rich.

Dan - Simply...Superior

January 24th, 2011
12:05 pm

Come on blog monster, post it….

@SC

Athritis is no joke

SlimNumeroUno

January 24th, 2011
12:06 pm

‘If we’re just starting to go out with you, we have no idea how slutty you may or may not be. Like the Boy Scouts taught us: be prepared.’

I’m swiss – You always deliver.

kimmie

January 24th, 2011
12:06 pm

Book sense does not always equal common sense or street smarts! Come on, yall know that!

Celisea

January 24th, 2011
12:07 pm

The biggests sluts I’ve seen have been those educated…sorry but it’s true.

Purple Rain

January 24th, 2011
12:08 pm

Home training, but it some cases that does not always stick or the parents maybe be a loose end themselves.

BlackMagicWoman

January 24th, 2011
12:10 pm

Well being as that I have not met one man in ATL with long term potential I can’t really comment on that.

As far as leaving stuff at a guy’s crib. That is a no no because if we fall out right after that night that I left an object…I’m pretty sure I will not get that back. I almost left my hair sticks at a guy’s house one night.( I took my hair down because I was laying on his chest on couch watching a movie. Didn’t want to blind the guy!) I made sure he went back inside and got them for me while I warmed up my car! My stuff comes with me…and goes with me! My tampon is MY tampon!

Hoodrats can have degrees…..Amen! Having the capacity to sit through classes, do term papers and past exams has nothing to do with class. I’ve met some hood a$$ chicks with a BAs and Master’s on their walls. Hell I am not hood, I have a degree and I don’t have it hanging on my wall. Hell… I don’t even know where it is! Some people take having a degree to be more than what it really is. Some folks won’t date someone because they don’t have a degree. Kind of sad because jerkoffs can have PHDs (I’ve met a few). But that guy/girl who doesn’t have initials behind his/her name could be the nicest guy/girl. But you have already counted them out. Degrees don’t mean you have common sense, class, or even morals.

Raqi V

January 24th, 2011
12:12 pm

I just wanted to type “wow” backwards. (lol)z

You are a nut. LOL

Here is an assignment. Spell the following words backwards five times.

Bob
Madam
Noon
Level
Radar
Mom
Dad
Pop
Pip
Rotor
Eye
Deed

(Those are all the ones I can think of right now.)

Purple Rain

January 24th, 2011
12:12 pm

What is a hair stick?

Purple Rain

January 24th, 2011
12:14 pm

Here are some more:
did
civic
racecar

kimmie

January 24th, 2011
12:14 pm

Purple, again, no excuse for bad behavior.

A lot of folks seem to have a chip on their shoulders about education too. Education should train you for whatever profession you choose and offer you some exposure to the world and other ways of thinking about things. It doesn’t mean that you automatically will have class or not do silly things or will be great in a relationship. It just means you MIGHT have had more exposure to things, nothing more. A person with a degree is just as capable of be a jerk or a beyotch as one with a GED.

Dan - Simply...Superior

January 24th, 2011
12:14 pm

@PR

Weapons that BMW carries under the guise of fashion.

Purple Rain

January 24th, 2011
12:15 pm

nun

kimmie

January 24th, 2011
12:16 pm

Degrees don’t mean you have common sense, class, or even morals.

Bears repeating, BMW!!

Purple Rain

January 24th, 2011
12:16 pm

kayak
boob
gag
dud

i'm swiss™

January 24th, 2011
12:17 pm

“Weapons that BMW carries under the guise of fashion.”

Dan — You shouldn’t talk about BMW’s breastseses that way…

Purple Rain

January 24th, 2011
12:17 pm

rotator

I can’t think of anymore

Purple Rain

January 24th, 2011
12:18 pm

kimmie, you missed my point if they were not properly trained at home by whomever how would they know it’s bad behavior?

Purple Rain

January 24th, 2011
12:19 pm

Dan, I figured it was some instrument of pain. LOL

Celisea

January 24th, 2011
12:20 pm

Degrees don’t mean you have common sense, class, or even morals.

Cosign….common sense seems rare there days and really, not so common anymore. I know I’m a stinker….most days I really don’t mind

Kym-Yeah uh huh you know what it is...

January 24th, 2011
12:21 pm

@Swiss like Slim said you never disappoint..LOL.

@BMW awesome statement. degrees do not grant you common sense.

Purple Rain

January 24th, 2011
12:25 pm

Lack of a degree does not mean that you have common sense either. I just have more in common with someone who has a degree so it makes sense that I date someone like that LOL

Kym-Yeah uh huh you know what it is...

January 24th, 2011
12:25 pm

@Purple alot of the women you guys find so fascinating get their best experience and training by jokers out there who help them perfect their game. The more practice they get in and the more jokers that fall for the okey dokey..and then it just becomes what is considered the norm for all women.

Purple Rain

January 24th, 2011
12:26 pm

Hair stick, I “googled” them. I have seen those in karate movies as weapons used by women. LOL

SlimNumeroUno

January 24th, 2011
12:27 pm

Random mentioning (throw up in your mouth a little bit warning) – I know how negative we can get on this blog or just in life generally. But wanted to share a little tidbit…Saturday a necklace that i’ve had for years and wear all the time broke at thedudes crib. I felt almost naked w/o having it on. So Sunday, he and I are just chilling watching the game and he throws on some clothes and tells me he’ll be back….didn’t say where he was going nor did I ask. He comes back, throws this bag on the couch and goes back outside. He had went out and bought me a new chain. I thought that was rather sweet and I didn’t expect him to do that at all. Made me cry because I thought it was very thoughtful of him to do that

Purple Rain

January 24th, 2011
12:28 pm

Kym, I think some women can navigate through life with a good mind not to fall for those jokers. Think it has to do with environment and expose as well as sense of self worth too.

SexyCool

January 24th, 2011
12:31 pm

Loved that, SlimGoody.

Purple Rain

January 24th, 2011
12:31 pm

Slim, that was very special and thoughtful of him Hopefully you gave him a big hug

SlimNumeroUno

January 24th, 2011
12:32 pm

I tried to hug him but he told me to get off of him. LOL!

Leggs

January 24th, 2011
12:34 pm

@SlimNU ~ why would that story make anyone throw up in their mouth? That was a very sweet read!

Raqi V

January 24th, 2011
12:35 pm

Education should train you for whatever profession you choose

kimmie, that is true. However we know some have the misconception that it gives them entitlement across the board. Education is good. I want my kids to get the best education they can, however I know it’s up to me and my hub to teach them self respect and respect for others. We have to teach them that an education will make them no matter than anyone else and education does not instill morals and faith.

My friend well educated friend Mari is on her way over now and she has a bad habit of saying “why come”. She knows it should be “why” or even maybe “how come” but she grew up with that habit in her family and it just comes out. She knows better but she admits to being educated does not make her perfect. LOL

Purple Rain

January 24th, 2011
12:36 pm

Slim, really? LOL he is the tough but caring type. LOL

Raqi V

January 24th, 2011
12:37 pm

Slim, that’s beautiful.

Now you know they gon get you for that. You have officially tainted your blog personality. You will never be looked at the same.

Sassy Me...Ms.Blackberri :-)

January 24th, 2011
12:39 pm

Slim Nu luv that 12:27…that’s really sweet. I would’ve cried,too!

Purple Rain

January 24th, 2011
12:40 pm

Raqi, is right. Slim what are you doing having emotions and such? Yo are just a girly girl after all. I think it’s sweet thought

BlackMagicWoman

January 24th, 2011
12:41 pm

PR…they are decorated chopsticks that women use to put our hair up or stick in a bun or updo as deocration.
And yes…as Dan said…they can be used to take someone’s eyes out if need be! Hey, I’m an NY’er…don’t judge me!

SWISS…”You shouldn’t talk about BMW’s breastseses that way”
I am gonna get you one of these days!

PURPLE..” I just have more in common with someone who has a degree so it makes sense that I date someone like that ”
Beside sthe piece of paper with your name and university on it….what else more could you have in common? I actually dated this guy who had his PHD and couldn’t wait to be called Dr. So I asked…”if my asthmatic a$$ passed out on this kitchen floor…DR….what could you do besides call 911 just like any other degreed person”? He couldn’t say thing! He always spoke about his intellect, and academics…blah blah blah. His wall held many degrees. (Whoopty d@mn do) He spoke like he was so much more intelligent than I. So I asked him…besides what you majored in (finance)…in what else do you think you are smarter in than I? In fact….did he ever have to dumb down a conversation with me for my lack of knowledge? Nope, it was I who had to do it for him. I don’t have a PHD nor a Master’s. He always talked about what his degrees allowed him to have. That’s great. Now I know what he did have over me…a sh*t-load more of student loan money to pay back!

BlackMagicWoman

January 24th, 2011
12:43 pm

PR…they are decorated chopsticks that women use to put our hair up or stick in a bun or updo as deocration.
And yes…as Dan said…they can be used to take someone’s eyes out if need be! Hey, I’m an NY’er…don’t judge me!

SWISS…”You shouldn’t talk about BMW’s breastseses that way”
I am gonna get you one of these days!

PURPLE..” I just have more in common with someone who has a degree so it makes sense that I date someone like that ”
Besides the piece of paper with your name and university on it….what else more could you have in common? I actually dated this guy who had his PHD and couldn’t wait to be called Dr. So I asked…”if my asthmatic a$$ passed out on this kitchen floor…DR….what could you do besides call 911 just like any other degreed person”? He couldn’t say thing! He always spoke about his intellect, and academics…blah blah blah. His wall held many degrees. (Whoopty d@mn do) He spoke like he was so much more intelligent than I. So I asked him…besides what you majored in (finance)…in what else do you think you are smarter in than I? In fact….did he ever have to dumb down a conversation with me for my lack of knowledge? Nope, it was I who had to do it for him. I don’t have a PHD nor a Master’s. He always talked about what his degrees allowed him to have. That’s great. Now I know what he did have over me…a crapload more of student loan money to pay back!

Raqi V

January 24th, 2011
12:43 pm

Disclaimer: Slim what I am going to ask is going to be highly inappropriate but you will get what I mean.

Did your CT cry also? LOL Mine would have. A little any way. LMBO

(Yeah I know my attempt at humor on here sucks.)

Purple Rain

January 24th, 2011
12:49 pm

Black, what do we have in common besides a piece of paper? It’s because I strongly prefer a degree in a “potential” mate, although I would not totally omit someone who did not have one. It’s not about their “earning” potential or lack thereof nor being able to quiz them on physics or metaphysical poetry. It’s the fact that they would have a major shared experience that I have therefore we would have more in common.

Leggs

January 24th, 2011
12:49 pm

Went to a friend’s 50th this past Saturday. Although I was looking fierce (LOL, my words), had to compliment a man on his honesty. We danced many times together, and by the end of the evening he came to my table. His exact words were: “I would love to dance with you again. You can call me any time you want to go out dancing and I’ll be there, but I’m married.” I told him I couldn’t call up a married man and ask him to go dancing with me. He said “Yes, you can. I have a cell phone.” I said No, I can’t. Then asked if his wife knew about his cell phone. He just walked away grinning. So, although I thanked him on his honesty, I still wanted to throw an egg at his head!

Purple Rain

January 24th, 2011
12:50 pm

Raqi, there are some lines that should not be crosses and you maam have just gone to far asking about her CT crying.

So Slim did it make you wet? LOL

Purple Rain

January 24th, 2011
12:52 pm

Leggs, what if his wife was in a wheel chair and could not dance? See you would have been helping them both, while she sat there and rolled around in circles while you two dance. (turns on the music from the movie Psycho)

i'm swiss™

January 24th, 2011
12:59 pm

I have to agree with Purple on this one. Degrees (or lack thereof) are no guarantee of intellect. But the odds of sharing common interests, goals, priorities, world views, etc., are greater with someone of a similar education level than with someone of a vastly different education level. That is not to say lasting connections are impossible outside one’s own strata, but the odds are definitely slanted.

Raqi V

January 24th, 2011
12:59 pm

they are decorated chopsticks that women use to put our hair up

BlackMagic, do you know I cannot make those things work by themselves. LOL I have to do an upsweep with hair pins first and then have the sticks just as decoration. My friend D can do it blindfolded, but I guess I am just awkward. LOL

Leggs

January 24th, 2011
1:01 pm

@Raqi V ~ I thought along those lines when PR asked if she gave him a hug. I thought that part was probably hugging him tightly.

Raqi V

January 24th, 2011
1:02 pm

LOL Purple, Yes I was asking did a move like that make her want to jump his bones. Thanks for being all blunt about it.

But seriously when you menfolk surprise us with stuff like that it makes us…some of us…all mushy on the inside. Figuratively and literally.

Beautiful

January 24th, 2011
1:03 pm

hello!

todays topic sums up why i’m still a single black woman! lol. i know i’m not suppose to compare men to my ex, but i can’t help it. when i met him, within two months that man spent so much money on me (furniture, a new home for us to rent, bills, groceries, etc.). his heart spoke long term from day one. we didn’t even date. went straight to commitment. i was so spoiled.

i have yet to meet that type of man today.

Raqi V

January 24th, 2011
1:04 pm

Leggs, yeah. Those little moves get the fluids flowing. The more personal (i.e. unexpectedly replacing a treasured item) the better.

Beautiful

January 24th, 2011
1:04 pm

dating is so overrated.

i'm swiss™

January 24th, 2011
1:05 pm

“Leggs, what if his wife was in a wheel chair and could not dance? See you would have been helping them both, while she sat there and rolled around in circles while you two dance.”

Purple — Now you’ve got me thinking about the movie Dirty, Rotten Scoundrels… If she sees Leggs and ol’ dude dancing, maybe it will give her the motivation to get up out of the wheelchair…

Purple Rain

January 24th, 2011
1:10 pm

Swiss I was thinking of that scene with Steve Martin when I typed that. LOL

SlimNumeroUno

January 24th, 2011
1:11 pm

‘why would that story make anyone throw up in their mouth?’

Leggs – You know how some folks can be…just wanted to give the Sap Warning for the haters. lol

‘he is the tough but caring type’

Purp – I think that pretty much describes him…tough, stern, nonchalant type of dude. Guess he’s the perfect profile for being a Fed. lol

‘You have officially tainted your blog personality’

Raqi – How did I taint my blog persona?

‘Slim what are you doing having emotions and such?’

Purp – Yall know I’m a big ball of mush…I’m really a thoughtful type of person. I’m the type of person that I can take a shower at thedudes house and write lil mushy notes on the mirror while it’s fogged up for when he goes to take his….or leave little notes all over the house…or if I’m out and see his fav candy or whatever, I’ll pick it up just because….so I appreciate the little things when done back to me.

Raqi – No my CT didn’t cry…earlier that day before he got me that so does that count?

SexyCool

January 24th, 2011
1:13 pm

Well, Beautiful. Your situation, then, sums up why the amount of money that a man spends on you is not necessarily a good indicator of his long term intentions.

And if anything, I would think that, instead of looking for and wanting that particular behavior, encountering someone who follows that pattern would raise a red flag with you.

Leggs

January 24th, 2011
1:14 pm

@SlimNU ~ awwww, he’s ensuring he’ll contine to get more of that!!!! That’s was very sweet!

Beautiful

January 24th, 2011
1:16 pm

@Sexy… i apologize, you didn’t get what i was sayin’. or tryin’ to say. it was his dedication towards the long-term and to make us work that GOT ME!

BlackMagicWoman

January 24th, 2011
1:16 pm

PR…Ok…I feel you…I guess!

LEGGS…there is no fool worse than an old fool! He is 50 and still playing games? Pathetic looser! SMDH

SWISS…I’m not saying that a Harvard scholar would have anything in common with RiRi with the GED. But I just find that I have come across a few snobs that said…”I would never date a guy’girls with at least a Bachelors”. And I asked…would having these degrees mean he/she would treat you better? And because they don’t…does that mean that they could not be intelligent and knowledgeable of many things just as you? Unless your idea of fun is doing trig problems…chances are he/she would have many of same interests. I know plenty of dumb a$$e$ with degrees. I think I am going to do an experiement. I am going to date guys with various levels of education and see which one vibes best with me. And really to see if it makes a difference. Let’s see if these educational predjudices are valid and/or offers any better means of finding the right mate. My stance as of now is, the guy does not have to have gone to college. But if he was one of the lucky few who either started his business or lucked up into a great career via starting from the ground and working his way up…more power to him. I will look at him for of course physical and then his morals, demeanor, and intellect (which does not all have to be book rendered). But after my experiment…would my views change? In fact…as I typed this….I just got inspired to do a documentary. Don’t steal my ideas! I will hunt you down!

i'm swiss™

January 24th, 2011
1:17 pm

Did somebody say something about Slim’s taint?

SexyCool

January 24th, 2011
1:19 pm

Considering that the FIRST thing that you mentioned was the amount of MONEY that he spent on you, it certainly read like that was YOUR focus, not MY misunderstanding.

SlimNumeroUno

January 24th, 2011
1:21 pm

‘awwww, he’s ensuring he’ll contine to get more of that!!!! That’s was very sweet!’

Leggs – who said he got something? LOL! It was allllll about me

swiss – go back to your corner lol

Purple Rain

January 24th, 2011
1:21 pm

No matter if she has a degree or not she has to be able to mentally stimulate me in the proper way. I don’t care about reality shows or the latest gossip magazine topic. She has to be current on what is going on in the real world also. LOL

SexyCool

January 24th, 2011
1:21 pm

BMW – I’m going to need you to blog about your social expirement, perhaps hire a camera crew to do a dating reality show and have you get paid doing so.

i'm swiss™

January 24th, 2011
1:23 pm

BMW — I have a D.C. — Doctor of Cunnilingus. Do I qualify for your documentary?

i'm swiss™

January 24th, 2011
1:27 pm

Love the blog filter… So far today, I’ve slipped in “breastseses,” “taint” and “cunnilingus” just off the top of my head. But I still can’t say “Me.lo”

i'm swiss™

January 24th, 2011
1:29 pm

Hey, Me.lo — If you’re lurking, here’s an idea: Change your moniker to “breastseses, taints and cunnilingus”

Leggs

January 24th, 2011
1:32 pm

@BMW ~ my girlfriend just turned 50. I don’t know how old the guy was. He was younger than us!

@SlimNU ~ you said he got “something” earlier in the day you nut!

Leggs

January 24th, 2011
1:34 pm

Rant: I hate these black cubes disguised as mushrooms in the can of mushroom soup I poured all over my baked chicken. Too many of them for me to pick out, but pick away I am!

SlimNumeroUno

January 24th, 2011
1:42 pm

Leggs – No I said he made the CT cry earlier…and I can’t concentrate when you say “he got something earlier…and nut, in the same sentence. Exactly

Leggs

January 24th, 2011
1:42 pm

@Beautiful ~ why are you comparing meeting men to your ex? Are you still in need of an apartment, bills paid or need furniture?

Leggs

January 24th, 2011
1:43 pm

@SlimNU ~ that’s funny…gotcha!

AmazonRed™ - Aaron Rodgers is that dude!

January 24th, 2011
1:49 pm

*sigh* Angie – Is this still the man who cheated on you with 30 women? You still compare other men to him?

Leggs

January 24th, 2011
1:53 pm

OUCH!

Beautiful

January 24th, 2011
1:54 pm

@Leggs/Red… my post was more towards his dedication than anything. the money was just an example of his commitment to make our relationship long term.

Beautiful

January 24th, 2011
1:56 pm

him putting in the time and effort to show me that he was serious and this is what he desired. i’m not looking for a cheater, i’m looking for that passion.

AmazonRed™ - Aaron Rodgers is that dude!

January 24th, 2011
1:56 pm

@Angie – You should have realized it was a con tho. A easy way to get you to fall for him quickly. I had a girlfriend who met a similar type of guy. He offered to pay her mortgage to prove his “commitment.” He was screwing with her money and also wanted an excuse to have sex with her (unprotected) quickly.

SexyCool

January 24th, 2011
2:00 pm

If he cheated, not only was he not committed to the long term, he was not committed to the short term either.

Beautiful

January 24th, 2011
2:02 pm

uh… no! lol. our relationship lasted 8 yrs. it was beautiful at the beginning, like all relationships. we just failed the last two yrs. communication problems more than anything.

Beautiful

January 24th, 2011
2:04 pm

y’all getting away from the main reason for me posting. their ACTION!!!

kimmie

January 24th, 2011
2:08 pm

Purple Rain

January 24th, 2011
12:18 pm
kimmie, you missed my point if they were not properly trained at home by whomever how would they know it’s bad behavior?

Purple – No, I got your point loud and clear. You missed mine. NO EXCUSES. That’s my way of thinking, especially at this point in my life. You can use the “I was not properly trained” excuse until you about 21 with me, then all bets are off. Me, and all of society, expect you to behave as an adult. Nobody is buying that, if you commit a crime, you can’t use “I didn’t know” as an excuse. Well, you can, but you still must face the consequences.

These chicks that are socalled “marking their territory” have been allowed to get away with it. It’s obviously still working, since it’s so commonplace and many still manage to snag husbands doing it.

That’s something I WAS taught – if I want to stay in a bad situation with a dude, just admit that. But don’t make excuses for him.

SexyCool

January 24th, 2011
2:12 pm

The ACTION that you were quite specific about and gave more than one example of was of him spending MONEY.

Leggs

January 24th, 2011
2:12 pm

@Beautiful ~ I think ARed is talking about his ACTION.

i'm swiss™

January 24th, 2011
2:18 pm

“if you commit a crime, you can’t use “I didn’t know” as an excuse. Well, you can, but you still must face the consequences.”

kimmie — But “I didn’t know” is a valid excuse for the NCAA. Just ask Auburn. Or Ohio State.

Leggs

January 24th, 2011
2:18 pm

Exactly, SexyC! His commitment to getting a roof over your head, your bills paid and furniture. You spoke nothing about his committment to the two of you.

SexyCool

January 24th, 2011
2:24 pm

And, B…I’m not trying to give you a hard time. I’m just pointing to the examples that YOU gave.

Leggs

January 24th, 2011
2:25 pm

Same here Beaut! Just ribbing you a bit.

SlimNumeroUno

January 24th, 2011
2:25 pm

I don’t see how purposely leaving your belongings at a dudes house is marking territory. If buddy is up on game, then he’ll make sure to do a sweep prior to the arrival of the next chick…unless you’re dealing with a nasty/messy dude. (Sort of reminds me of buddy who said he gave some oral pleasures to one chick, then gets a call from a second chick, which he ends up kissing w/o a proper coo-chie juice flushing/brushing/flossing)

i'm swiss™

January 24th, 2011
2:28 pm

Slim — He should have just told chick #2 that he just ate a tuna melt…

Leggs

January 24th, 2011
2:31 pm

@SlimNU ~ if it’s not “marking your territory” what would you call it? Women leave things in the hopes that his next conquest would find it and an argument would ensue and then he’s back to calling the person who actually kick started the argument (LOL).

Kym-Yeah uh huh you know what it is...

January 24th, 2011
2:33 pm

@Slim..I thought your story about the necklace was really sweet!! He likes you..he really really likes you!!.. Okay I didn’t read anything else..what I miss?

SlimNumeroUno

January 24th, 2011
2:33 pm

i’m swiss – At least said he had an onion sub or something rather than make that chick tastes #1 against her will. Just plain wrong

AmazonRed™ - Aaron Rodgers is that dude!

January 24th, 2011
2:35 pm

I think ARed is talking about his ACTION.

I am. Providing financially is nothing really. See folks who pay their child support and do nothing else. That’s not love it’s obligation.

And don’t get me wrong…nothing wrong with appreciating the good things about your ex…but to compare him to someone who had no desire to protect your heart and body…. no ma’am. He can kick rocks.

kimmie

January 24th, 2011
2:36 pm

Raqi – One of my best friends has great “book sense”. She started out going to college majoring in engineering. She finished 2 yrs, then dropped out when she got pregnant. Her child is 14 now. She has gone to 2 other colleges and taken a class here & there, flunked out of 2 classes at the last school because she was busy chasing a dude. To make a long story short, she’s always felt bad that she didn’t complete her degree and she does not like the example she’s set for her daughter, who is an excellent student.

She has a very big chip on her shoulder now. Guys that she knows have degrees she feels intimidated by them before she even gets to know them. She kinda hurt my feelings recently. She knows that my SO is attorney, and went to Morehouse and Emory Law. She’d only talked to him maybe 2 times because she doesn’t live here. She has been dating a guy she really likes that is a cop. I was telling her about this restaraunt I wanted to take her & her beau to when they came to visit. She started kinda stuttering and in so many words implied that my SO might not be comfortable or fit in hanging out with blue collar types such as she & her man. She knows I’m not a snob like that and most importantly, neither is my SO. A few on this very blog have met him and can attest that he is not a snob either. Like I said, educated men that have shown interest in her she has rejected because SHE feels bad that she does not have a degree. I’ve told her it’s not fair she puts her insecurities off on other people and judge them before she even gets to know them.

SlimNumeroUno

January 24th, 2011
2:39 pm

Leggs – I’m not sure what I’d call it but it is really only a HOPE that another chick may find your belongings. It’s so funny this came up because this morning we happened to have to get ready for work around the same time…so he’s standing in the kitchen drinking coffee & eating a banana all the while i’m walking around doing a sweep to make sure I got everything. He sort of gave me a look, which made me feel weird, almost as if he was thinking…dang, you aren’t going to leave ANYTHING. lol

‘He likes you..he really really likes you’

Kym – I suppose so…at least I hope anyway.

DreamsMaterialize

January 24th, 2011
2:39 pm

it was his dedication towards the long-term and to make us work that GOT ME!
Beautiful his short-term dedication to the long term?

Dan - Simply...Superior

January 24th, 2011
2:39 pm

@Slim

When I saw the stuff my girl left behind, I commented and we joked about it, and everything is where she left it.

When it was random chick’s, the stuff got politely (and quietly) tossed and were never spoken of again. Because my thought is if I throw out enough of your stuff, you should eventually get the message.

kimmie

January 24th, 2011
2:42 pm

Slim – That’s disgusting.

Oh, and your guy and the necklace – major cool points for that!

Leggs

January 24th, 2011
2:43 pm

@kimmie ~ your friend is missing out on some very nice people. Just because a person has a degree doesn’t necessarily make them smart. She needs to remove that unnecessary stress from her mind. And, she had no right to say that about your SO, especially since she’s never met him. Heck, she knows you so she should know your mate wouldn’t be a stuck up Mr. Belvedere!

kimmie

January 24th, 2011
2:43 pm

Because my thought is if I throw out enough of your stuff, you should eventually get the message.

Dan – I love it!

SlimNumeroUno

January 24th, 2011
2:47 pm

‘my thought is if I throw out enough of your stuff, you should eventually get the message’

Dan – I’ve heard several dudes say that very same thing. I don’t recall who mentioned it before, maybe BMW, but if I notice i’ve left something I will call and say, Hey I think I left me so and so there…will you check and put it up for me. blah blah blah. But don’t think that every time a chick leaves things behind, that it was on purpose.

kimmie

January 24th, 2011
2:48 pm

Leggs – She had met him once before, she just puts anyone that has a degree in a catagory, like they are not “down” or can’t relate to everyday folk! That’s why it hurt my feelings – she spent a whole weekend with us and he was nothing but nice to her! And yes, I have told her how she’s missing out, stereotyping like that.

SexyCool

January 24th, 2011
2:48 pm

Yep, kimmie…straight down to earth. I tell TheDude all the time that you guys are my favorite *beige* couple. (lol)

DreamsMaterialize

January 24th, 2011
2:49 pm

kimmie I’ve dated someone with those insecurities. Whenever we would go somewhere, she would say people were looking up their noses at her because she didn’t have a degree. After a while she would make sarcastic comments like “Oh I don’t wanna go there. Those are your kinda people, not mine.” or “I don’t have a bunch of degrees, so I guess I don’t understand what you’re talking about” or “You like her don’t you? She’s your type. She got a lotta degrees.” You get tired of that after a while.

Leggs

January 24th, 2011
2:50 pm

@SlimNU ~ yes, it’s only a HOPE!

But him looking at you in disbelief that you’re taking everything you came with is cute!

Dan - Simply...Superior

January 24th, 2011
2:52 pm

@Slim

That’s the point, you never really know.

Even if you call and ask that I hold on to something you left, how many times must I do that before I get suspicious? Even then, if I care about you, I’m going to ask; if not, you’ll eventually get the hint when I keep saying “I forgot”; or

when I have to explicitly tell you “to make a list and check it twice when you come over, and when you leave”

kimmie

January 24th, 2011
2:53 pm

Dreams – Yeah it gets real old. I finally told her if it bothered her so much nothing is stopping her from going on back and finishing up. If it’s that important, do something about it. Of course, that’s met with silence.

BlackMagicWoman

January 24th, 2011
2:53 pm

SCOOL…I do want to videotape this as a documentary.

SWISS… To the bad boy corner!

kimmie

January 24th, 2011
2:54 pm

SCool – Thanks! Hugs!

SlimNumeroUno

January 24th, 2011
2:57 pm

Dan – if someone always called to say, please hold this for me, then you have every right, at that point, to be suspicious. Unless something falls between the couch cushions or under the bed or something then your stuff should be in plain sight.

Leggs – That’s just how it appeared that he was looking. He might’ve been making sure I didn’t miss anything too.

Dan - Simply...Superior

January 24th, 2011
3:00 pm

@Slim

It’s a fine line anyway, like did you think he could’ve been hoping you left something behind?

kimmie

January 24th, 2011
3:03 pm

Slim/Dan – The first night I spent over SO’s, I left my watch on the nightstand. It’s not a Rolex or anything, but I like it. I genuinely forgot it, but then, I frequently forget to put on my watch anyway, until I’m in the car on the way to work or whereever!

But how many times can you “forget” panties, bra’s, etc? The whole thing is just disgusting and obvious. They belong straight in the trash!

DreamsMaterialize

January 24th, 2011
3:06 pm

If it’s that important, do something about it.
kimmie I agree. If you’re comfortable with the choices you’ve made, then be confident in that and don’t worry about what anyone else thinks. If you’re not comfortable with your choices, then make different choices. Either way, I don’t want to hear the negativity.

AmazonRed™ - Aaron Rodgers is that dude!

January 24th, 2011
3:06 pm

I’m finally over leaving panties and stuff….

I’m still tripping off of letting a man you’ve known for two months get you an apartment, furnature etc.
I’m just floored.

Dan - Simply...Superior

January 24th, 2011
3:07 pm

@Kimmie

Like I say, leave “it” (whatever it may be) once, twice; all good. Random stuff and random times, get randomly discarded.

SlimNumeroUno

January 24th, 2011
3:12 pm

‘like did you think he could’ve been hoping you left something behind?’

Dan – It is a fine line…but with regards to my situation, I honestly do not think it matters at this point whether I leave something or not. I mean i can be over there anywhere from 2-4 days out of a week/weekend.

Dan - Simply...Superior

January 24th, 2011
3:15 pm

@Slim

It would matter to me.

If you at the house that much why not leave some stuff? I’m not saying move in, but for me, once you reach that 2-4 day a week limit you should feel more comfortable in my home than not.

But hey, I’m sentimental.

Leggs

January 24th, 2011
3:16 pm

@SlimNU ~ stay with the positive side…his disbelief that you weren’t leaving anything.

@Dan ~ curious. Have you ever lived with a woman beside your mother?

DreamsMaterialize

January 24th, 2011
3:17 pm

I think I want to visit Kiev next summer. I heard that place is awesome.

Kym-Yeah uh huh you know what it is...

January 24th, 2011
3:21 pm

@Ared..hold up did I miss something..someone is getting furniture after two months..uhhh Where they do that at? or better yet..what kind of tricks do you have to do to get that?

Dan - Simply...Superior

January 24th, 2011
3:22 pm

@Leggs

Yeap, never more than a year consecutively though.

Raqi V

January 24th, 2011
3:22 pm

I know I am late but…

kimmie, wow. She is being very narrow-minded. Or maybe she has fallen victim to reading to many crap articles/blogs/forums or listening to too many “relationship” gurus talk about how good men only want women with great educations and finances that match their own. So many poor souls are falling victim to that nonsense and cheating themselves out of true love.

There are still some good men and women out there that don’t judge a person’s core qualities, character and ability to truly love them based on their educational background and financial earnings.

You friend has sadly allowed herself to be misguided.

Dan - Simply...Superior

January 24th, 2011
3:24 pm

@Leggs

Why do you ask?

AmazonRed™ - Aaron Rodgers is that dude!

January 24th, 2011
3:27 pm

Kym – Of course our girl Angie came with that one. She says that she is single because she compares men to her ex, who started tricking off cash to her from jump street and that it spoiled her.

kimmie

January 24th, 2011
3:31 pm

You friend has sadly allowed herself to be misguided.

Raqi – Yes she has. She’s getting better and I try to be the best friend I can, but it’s a struggle.

Celisea

January 24th, 2011
3:32 pm

Random stuff and random times, get randomly discarded.

I guess “random” would be the core of all this convo on leaving stuff behind. Cause if we’re smashing, the assumption is I’m your one and only. No way am I gonna be polite and tell you I left something. We’re a couple, I’ll get it when I come back over or you can bring when you come over. If you’re smashing others and obviously behind my back, the onus is on you to keep your playa status in tip top.

Mr Kinte

January 24th, 2011
3:36 pm

I don’t know…it could just be me, but isn’t the fun of dating and meeting people the fact that you don’t know where they will really fit in the long-term or even if there will be a long term. Granted no one likes to waste their time with someone they don’t even like after those first few moments together, but once you realize you enjoy their company, do you care if it will be long-term? This sounds more like an high profile job interview than developing a relationship. The comments about leaving items at someone’s place is really crazy to me. Hell, I can’t leave stuff at my folks’ house too long before I’m getting calls about whether/not I want what I left because its about to be thrown out.

Question for the everybody…if it does come off like you’re being heavily screened, are you within your right to want to know what benefits come with you continuing to spend time or date this person? Do you put your demands on the table then too?

Food for thought

AmazonRed™ - Aaron Rodgers is that dude!

January 24th, 2011
3:37 pm

She knows that my SO is attorney, and went to Morehouse and Emory Law.

kimmie – I read the story about your friend, but all I really focused on was the above. Does your fiance have any single friends?

AmazonRed™ - Aaron Rodgers is that dude!

January 24th, 2011
3:38 pm

Hell, I can’t leave stuff at my folks’ house too long before I’m getting calls about whether/not I want what I left because its about to be thrown out.

SlimNumeroUno

January 24th, 2011
3:38 pm

If someone wanted to purchase all that type stuff for me that early in the game, I’d be very weary that he was postioning himself to control me.

Leggs

January 24th, 2011
3:40 pm

@Dan ~ Because I want to live with you. I kid, I kid. Seriously, certain things you say just had me wondering if you ever been that intimate with a woman where you actually shared everything in your life with that person. Living together will have you doing that!

I need a Fanta Orange…

Raqi V

January 24th, 2011
3:41 pm

I just read an interesting and so true statement over at ChaPan. Pan is talking about how well do couples really know each other. The first thing I loved about his entire entry is the pictures of Michael Jackson. Those pictures clearly state that if MJ was not famous and his many faces plastered all over tube throughout the years there is no way to know that is the same man.

His driven point that I really like is him saying sometimes during the course of “bettering” oneself (my words not his) some people tend to reinvent themselves. He used the college years. I totally agree with him on how meeting a person’s oldest friends and I would say close family members sheds true light on who that person is.

Now I am not saying it’s wrong to do better or have a more prosperous life than that one grew up in however our roots tell the real story of how we are. About like the plastic surgery that was talked about last week.

And even more I think very low of people that disown their family after they have “come up” in life. They reinvent themselves to no longer be associated with their humble and/or not so proper relatives and beginning.

WiseDiva we need to talk about this one day. How important is it to be introduced or familiarized with a potential’s past or beginnings?

AmazonRed™ - Aaron Rodgers is that dude!

January 24th, 2011
3:41 pm

I’d be very weary that he was postioning himself to control me.

Absolutely. You lose a lot of power in these types of relationships because he in essence “owns” you. I mean, you have to be fearful one day he’ll wake up and you have no place to live cuz you’re in his crib.

Purple Rain

January 24th, 2011
3:44 pm

kimmie, I was not saying lack of training was a defense but I was saying some people just dont know. Like some people don’t have manners because they were never taught them. So you never see a napkin in their lap nor do they cover their mouth when they yawn etc. Ignorance is bliss, but I was not saying ignorance is a reason or defense. I don’t deal with it or people like that so it doesn’t bother me. LOL **See how I am totally ignoring that “blogger” over there? LOL

“The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook.”
– William James

Dan - Simply...Superior

January 24th, 2011
3:44 pm

@Leggs

Yeah, of course I have. I’m not completely insensitive.

It’s just that, as previously stated, when I’m not seeing anyone, it’s in part becuase I want that freedom to see who I want. I’m not after intimacy like that.

But when I want to share intimacy with a woman, I go for it.

Raqi V

January 24th, 2011
3:47 pm

Cause if we’re smashing, the assumption is I’m your one and only

Celisea, only if it was that cut and dry these days. LOL

I know I am speaking from the keyboard of a now experienced done learned some lessons married soon to be 43 year old woman, but truly if folks got that much of an issue with a woman leaving an earring at his place or him leaving a sock at hers, they need to take it to a hotel each time and then go your separate ways. LOL (j/k but only a little) That way if anything gets left it’s up to the housekeeper to disgard or take it home.

kimmie

January 24th, 2011
3:48 pm

Amred – All his friends are married. One is divorced but has been seeing this lady for about 2 years now. Even his female collegues/friends are married. It seems birds of a feather do indeed flock together! Because thinking back to some of the more non-committal types I’ve dated in the past, their friends were the same way!

I learned to watch a guys friends awhile back. If most of his friends are in committed relationships, 9 times out of 10 he will be of the same mindset!

Raqi V

January 24th, 2011
3:49 pm

disCard not disgard LOL

Leggs

January 24th, 2011
3:51 pm

Ariz. Shooting Suspect Pleads Not Guilty

The man accused of carrying out the mass shooting in Tucson pleaded not guilty Monday to charges he tried to kill Rep. Gabrielle Giffords and two of her aides.

REALLY….

SexyCool

January 24th, 2011
3:51 pm

True, Rock.

If I have to do a recon because I spent the night at your house to make sure not a single strand of my hair is left on your pillow or if I forgot a toothbrush (because you may say I *hid* it there strategically), then…I don’t need to be opening up to you…literally and/or figuratively anway.

Celisea

January 24th, 2011
3:52 pm

Raqi – Yeah I know…sadly but true.

Raqi V

January 24th, 2011
3:54 pm

It seems birds of a feather do indeed flock together! AND If most of his friends are in committed relationships,…

kimmie, I agree. That is more true than many believe it to be. At one time many of my circle was not married although most in longterm relationships. Now all of us are married and the same with my hub’s friends. The one’s that aren’t we really don’t see or go out with any more.

My friend Lacy used to hang tight with us. After D got married, being the fourth one to in a group of 5, Lacy eventually pulled away from the group. She calls me and I know Doc every so often but she is no longer knitted into the cloth of us sisters.

AmazonRed™ - Aaron Rodgers is that dude!

January 24th, 2011
3:55 pm

Thanks kimster

SexyCool

January 24th, 2011
3:58 pm

Yeah…most of TheDude’s friends are single. I’m not crazy about that. But at the same time, with me being 5 years older than him, most of his friends are late 20’s/early 30’s….so, I’m giving them a little bit of a pass.

kimmie

January 24th, 2011
3:59 pm

some people just dont know.

Purple – I get you all day on this, friend. I’m patient to a fault with people I have to work with, worship with, etc. Everyone has not been as fortunate as I have and I am sensitive to it. But I have always been much more discriminating with the men I chose to deal with. If he doesn’t know, keep it moving and step to me when he’s got a clue. Might sound mean, but it works for me. I can get a pet or have a baby and raise a child. I can be a teacher and get paid for it. I really don’t have the time or inclination to teach or raise a man so he’ll be suitable for me to date.

Raqi V

January 24th, 2011
3:59 pm

SexyCool and Celisea, have you two seen the movie “The Cleaner” with Sam L. Jackson?

I can see some dudes (I’m looking at you Dan LOL) having that guy come in after each encounter to clean up all evidence of a woman having been there. Dusting for hairs, polishing away finger prints, forensic lighting for “fluids”, burning sheets…etc.

And yeah that dude would not be one worth opening up to.

Dan - Simply...Superior

January 24th, 2011
4:03 pm

@Kimmie

I tend to think of bad manners or even improper attitudes like this: I’ll try and help (at least in your dealings with me), and tell what I can accept and what I can’t. I hope that with one or two more opportunities, you’ll get it; otherwise, I’m really good at ignoring foolishness.

I just feel obligated (in the Christian sense) sometimes to “do unto others”

Raqi V

January 24th, 2011
4:05 pm

SexyCool, it’s the mindset though. I don’t know TheDude (YET) but there is a mindset the speaks volume.

The problem with my friend Lacy is her issue with commitments. And she would have a problem when one of us needed to cancel to take care of a relationship matter. Deni is the last to marry but she had two longterm relationships on her record. And she never that woman to b!tch when one of the others had that man-thing to go take care of.

The mindset.

kimmie

January 24th, 2011
4:05 pm

SCool – It’s not just the marital status, it’s the mindset. One guy I used to deal with was a nice enough guy, but he just seemed to not ever want to commit. Even though he really didn’t run around with a lot of women, he saw his parents divorce and was very distrustful of women. He came up with every excuse in the book. Looking back on his circle of close friends, they were all the same way. A few that had actually married were divorced and very bitter. There was nothing any woman they met could do or be to change their minds. I have not heard of any of them marrying to this day.

SexyCool

January 24th, 2011
4:05 pm

Once I was dating a guy that I had begun spending enough time with to believe that the relationship was turning serious.

One particular night, he called to say that he wasn’t feeling well and was going to just chill out.
(No problem)

The next night, he cooked dinner for me at his house. Me being the gracious guest offered to clear the table and load the dishwasher.

In the dishwasher was two wine glasses. One of them had lipstick on it.
(I don’t wear lipstick.)

Purple Rain

January 24th, 2011
4:07 pm

kimmie, I was not blessed with to much compassion or patience. it is going to be a test with this newborn but I know it is ours so I thin i will have tons. I think I am to old to be trying to teach an adult common sense stuff. I leave that for someone who gives a darn. LOL

SexyCool

January 24th, 2011
4:07 pm

Correction – I (not Me), being the gracious guest, offered to clear the table and load the dishwasher

Purple Rain

January 24th, 2011
4:08 pm

SexyCool, did he wear lipstick? LOL

Celisea

January 24th, 2011
4:08 pm

Raqi – I haven’t seen the movie but I’m feeling you on just taking the whole of shenanigans to a hotel or something. In all a person’s efforts to hide or conceal stuff, at some point the dishonesty of it all will give way…on it’s own

Purple Rain

January 24th, 2011
4:09 pm

If I did not have my parents example of marriage I don’t think I would have ever tried again. I am so not trusting of people generally.

SexyCool

January 24th, 2011
4:10 pm

kimmie/Rock – too funny. “Mindset” – exactly.

I’m cool with TheDude’s mindset. I just don’t know his friends and *frat* well enough to say that I feel comfortable with theirs. Being that they are single, it’s not like we are double dating with them and I see them only in the occasional group setting.

kimmie

January 24th, 2011
4:10 pm

Purple – You so get it! And I think you’ll be a great dad!

Purple Rain

January 24th, 2011
4:10 pm

That being said, I am not one to believe everything I hear about someone either. If I did not witness it or experience it for myself I don’t take any other person words as fact.

Purple Rain

January 24th, 2011
4:11 pm

kimmie, I hope so and thank you

Raqi V

January 24th, 2011
4:12 pm

kimmie, great minds think a like. And have the same “mindset”. LOL

Your 4:05 is something that I should have seen with the nature guy. All of his friends were very laid back and “earthy” while their women, me included, worked in corporate america. NG turned out to be very needy.

SlimNumeroUno

January 24th, 2011
4:12 pm

SexyCool – I know I could not commit a crime and assume I’d get away with it because the strands of my hair would give me away every time. I try to make sure I get it up but those herrrs are like pimples…you just never know where or when one will pop up

Purple Rain

January 24th, 2011
4:13 pm

We were watching the game and Julia’s brother is a kicker for his High School team, he goes if it’s a boy I am going to teach him how to be the next great kicker. My first response were kickers are wimps. I did not remember that he was a kicker. Everyone looked at me like I was crazy or something and was quiet. Then I followed it up with kickers are wimps that don”t know how to tackle. LOL

AmazonRed™ - Aaron Rodgers is that dude!

January 24th, 2011
4:14 pm

One guy I used to deal with was a nice enough guy, but he just seemed to not ever want to commit. Even though he really didn’t run around with a lot of women, he saw his parents divorce and was very distrustful of women.

This is me and my ex. Other women were never the problem…it was the woman he divorced. His parents have been married forever and are very happy. He still hasn’t gotten over being the failure in marriage. Then his brother got engaged and married and that was the nail in the coffin for us.

Purple Rain

January 24th, 2011
4:14 pm

Slim if your DNA has never been entered into the system you can leave your hair anywhere you like. Including my pillow. I have a necklace for you, a pearl one

SexyCool

January 24th, 2011
4:14 pm

P-lito…{crickets{…{pin dropped}…{Open mouth. Insert foot.}
LMAO…

AmazonRed™ - Aaron Rodgers is that dude!

January 24th, 2011
4:15 pm

Purple Rain – I know I’m late but you and Julia are pregnant again?

Leggs

January 24th, 2011
4:16 pm

SexyC ~ see, that’s just being sloppy!

Purple Rain

January 24th, 2011
4:18 pm

Amazon, the second trimester is almost over

Sexy Cool, yes and at that point I had to stand my ground with basically calling him a wimp LOL

kimmie

January 24th, 2011
4:19 pm

Purple – that is hilarious!

Raqi V

January 24th, 2011
4:20 pm

You all know the greatest thing that comes with age? The tendency to just say what you are thinking and not really care what others think about it.

Sooooooooo,

Being constipated is freaking miserable. I will never get the fascination that homos have nor the female backdoor lovers. Seriously it’s crappy.

BlackMagicWoman

January 24th, 2011
4:20 pm

PURPLE…you want some hot sauce for that foot in your mouth?

AmazonRed™ - Aaron Rodgers is that dude!

January 24th, 2011
4:21 pm

Aww…Purple Rain. Congrats to you guys. I saw a couple posts alluding to it, but I wanted to make sure I was reading right. You guys aren’t gonna find out the sex beforehand?

Leggs

January 24th, 2011
4:22 pm

“…it is going to be a test with this newborn but I know it is ours …”

HUH, yousa having a bambino/bambina????

AmazonRed™ - Aaron Rodgers is that dude!

January 24th, 2011
4:22 pm

You all know the greatest thing that comes with age? The tendency to just say what you are thinking and not really care what others think about it

I’ve been doing that since I was 14…so what’s my excuse!

Leggs

January 24th, 2011
4:24 pm

Dang, where this 6th page come from?

Awwwww, congratulations my Italian Studmuffin!!!!

SlimNumeroUno

January 24th, 2011
4:24 pm

Purp – I don’t have any DNA in the system but my fingerprints are…lol Now lemme see this pearl necklace you’re ready to give away

BlackMagicWoman

January 24th, 2011
4:25 pm

“Being constipated is freaking miserable. I will never get the fascination that homos have nor the female backdoor lovers. Seriously it’s crappy.”

RAQI…I just flatlined____________________________________
That is too d@mn funny…but so d@mn true! Mine is exit only! Any dude asking for for it will get the same response…”my b00tyhole is built exactly like yours. If you think it would hurt you, then dumb a$$ it will hurt me too! Sex is supposed to be about the pleasure of both…not just the one with the penis! I’ll you what…let me stick something in yours. If you like it…I’m out because HOUSTON we have a problem! If you don’t…great now we are on the same page. I’m not trying to be loose b00ty or Butth0le Barbie because you wanny try something nasty!
Movin’ right along…,

Purple Rain

January 24th, 2011
4:25 pm

Raqi, TMI you are just jumping over that line today. LOL

The Wimp Kickers family, especially my wife were giving me subtle hints that I should apologize. I would not! You guys tell me who is the wimpiest person on the field for a football team? Even the guy holding the ball for a kicker can get up and throw a block.

kimmie

January 24th, 2011
4:25 pm

Amred – I knew things were bad when he went on this bachelor party cruise with his brother. A couple of his brother’s friends were married and he came back & told me they were messing around with more women than the single guys! He just came back from the trip & was like why should I bother? Every guy I know that is married is miserable.

I knew it was no hope for me at that point and K I M!

Raqi V

January 24th, 2011
4:26 pm

My son just brought in his Playstation console. He told me he will play some games with me if I want him to. He is such a sweetheart. LOL

Imma need him to get some games that are none violent and that I can play alone.

Celisea

January 24th, 2011
4:27 pm

The tendency to just say what you are thinking and not really care what others think about it.

Amen…I live by this…and with age also goes the need to have it acknowledged, debated, embraced, etc. Just say it and not look back

SlimNumeroUno

January 24th, 2011
4:28 pm

Purp – um….preggo…???…um…errrr…you know I strapped up right so…not sure how to break it to you….but it’s not mine

AmazonRed™ - Aaron Rodgers is that dude!

January 24th, 2011
4:28 pm

kimmie – Dang. I dont’ think he’ll get that bad. He says he thinks of the future and can’t see himself spending the rest of his years alone. But until knows his life direction, commitment isn’t likely.

But your ex does sound like a friend of mine. Another friend of his just got divorced and he said “thanks for another reminder of why I’ll never marry or commit again!”

kimmie

January 24th, 2011
4:28 pm

Purple – They should know you by now, that you’re the he-man type! I wouldn’t have even gotten upset with you!

Celisea

January 24th, 2011
4:28 pm

Raqi, try super dieter’s tea….it works wonders. It doesn’t “run” but just works you.

BlackMagicWoman

January 24th, 2011
4:28 pm

SLIM…you really want a pearl necklace from Purple? OOOH you freak-a-leek!

ARED…I’ve been saying what I felt since I could talk. I was born without a filter It sometimes gets me in trouble.

Purple Rain

January 24th, 2011
4:29 pm

Amazon, we want it to be a surprise so we are not finding out the gender until it is here.

Leggs,

Leggs and Raqi are talking about bunghole pleasures. TMI

Purple Rain

January 24th, 2011
4:30 pm

Slim you are ready for your pearl necklace? ZIP!!!!!!!!!!!

Raqi V

January 24th, 2011
4:30 pm

LOL BlackMagic. One of the meds that I am talking causes constipation…dry stool. It’s not fun at all. I need to drink a lot more water. Maybe I will have the hub go get some Activia.

Yes TMI. But heck I am over 40 and I dontgiveadamn.

But yeah exit only. And passing poop that is less than very soft is very uncomfortable.

Okay imma stop. LOL

AmazonRed™ - Aaron Rodgers is that dude!

January 24th, 2011
4:31 pm

Purple Rain – Because you won’t apologize your son (if you have a son) will bypass football altogether and become an ice dancer!

SexyCool

January 24th, 2011
4:31 pm

Second time today that I’ve seen the word “bunghole” online.

It’s official. I’ve done too much surfing, blogging and bs’ing today.

Celisea

January 24th, 2011
4:31 pm

Make sure you follow the instructions to the letter…do not seep too long or you will have to stay close to home

kimmie

January 24th, 2011
4:32 pm

ice dancer!

Okay, I’m LMAO over here!!

Raqi V

January 24th, 2011
4:32 pm

try super dieter’s tea

Celisea, come here let me whisper something in your ear. I’M PREGNANT!!!!

I have to avoid anything that can trigger contractions. Heck I am having to avoid pleasures until further notice.

Purple Rain

January 24th, 2011
4:34 pm

kimmie, LOL it was a great divide my side of the family agreed and his side of the family didn’t Doesn’t help matters that my little cousin is a lineman on the same team. LOL

Amazon, I thought I was discussing little Furio on her openly the past month or so, but I guess you were the only one who caught on to what I was eluding to. You are smarter than these other people, they must not have degrees. LOL

Leggs

January 24th, 2011
4:34 pm

@BMW ~ your posts are always entertaining. Don’t know if you remember the co-worker I spoke about that talks to me about her sex life or not. Well, she loves, loves, loves anal. She’s also in the bathroom a lot. I’ve told her on many occasions she has a loose butthole and no wonder she has liquid crap (sorry, TMI, I know!). UUUGH!

AmazonRed™ - Aaron Rodgers is that dude!

January 24th, 2011
4:34 pm

we want it to be a surprise

I am amazed at folks with that kind of patients. The stick turning positive will be a surprise. A person climbing out of my vajayvay will be a surprise.

Let me know what i’m getting!

Celisea

January 24th, 2011
4:35 pm

This tea won’t run…this will just make you “go”

Purple Rain

January 24th, 2011
4:35 pm

Do you really think I could produce an ice dancer? LOL

I would beat the gay out of him. Say what you want but I will not have an ice dancer son. LOL

SexyCool

January 24th, 2011
4:35 pm

I agree with kimmie. They should know who and how you are by now. And by the same token, the little *wimp* (teasing) shouldn’t take it personal or be so wimpy…er, um…sensitive.

AmazonRed™ - Aaron Rodgers is that dude!

January 24th, 2011
4:35 pm

I thought I was discussing little Furio on her openly the past month or so, but I guess you were the only one who caught on to what I was eluding to. You are smarter than these other people, they must not have degrees. LOL

I definitely remember Furio references.

But I think the other bloggers are smart, I just think they have too much restraint to not come right out with it.

I clearly have no such reservation.

AmazonRed™ - Aaron Rodgers is that dude!

January 24th, 2011
4:37 pm

Purple Rain – There are plenty of straight ice dancers!

But uh..my uncle tried beating the gay out of my cousin. Not only did the poor kid spend his whole life getting tore up, but now he hates his dad and is still very much gay!

Raqi V

January 24th, 2011
4:37 pm

Tell your guy if he wants to ram his johnson in your behind he has to first allow you to ram a 10″ long 8″ diameter zucchini up in his.

If he likes it you have bigger problems that what you initially thought. LOL And you probably wont have to worry about him asking you again because he will be quickly switching to bat for the other team.

Purple Rain

January 24th, 2011
4:38 pm

Amazon after our first experience we just want a healthy child so it doesn’t matter. BOY BOY BOY BOY,

I am proud of myself for not indulging in the anal discussion. LOL

SlimNumeroUno

January 24th, 2011
4:39 pm

Leggs – I should’ve known something was funny about that dayum pearl necklace. It doesn’t even fasten when I try to put it around my neck. (Slim now hands it back to Purp) Purp – I think it’s broken

AmazonRed™ - Aaron Rodgers is that dude!

January 24th, 2011
4:40 pm

I am proud of myself for not indulging in the anal discussion. LOL

Purple Rain

January 24th, 2011
4:42 pm

Amazon, well he will have a strong role model and plenty of manly men in his life and he will not be hanging out with the women folk either. So I am not worried about that at all. My dad will hurt him before I did. LOL

SlimNumeroUno

January 24th, 2011
4:42 pm

Ice dancer…reminds me of the son in that movie “I now pronounce you Chuck & Larry”….he was a dancing fool…lolololol

Leggs

January 24th, 2011
4:43 pm

@ARed ~ I didn’t want to know the sex either. That was one of the exciting parts of the birth for me. I couldn’t stop my eyes from flutter (effects of the epidural), so hearing them say it’s a girl was music to my ears…I got the exact type of child I’ve always wanted.

Purple Rain

January 24th, 2011
4:44 pm

Slim, no need to hand it back just rub it in your skin.

Amazon, I think Swiss is just as astonished as I am about the anal discussion so we are both just being quiet. LOL

AmazonRed™ - Aaron Rodgers is that dude!

January 24th, 2011
4:44 pm

well he will have a strong role model and plenty of manly men in his life and he will not be hanging out with the women folk either.

Uh okay caveman. You know that kids are born with certain gifts, yours could be born with the gift of dance…on ice…:lol:

But seriously, you know that having “strong male role models” doesn’t amount to much in terms of gay or straight right?

AmazonRed™ - Aaron Rodgers is that dude!

January 24th, 2011
4:45 pm

so hearing them say it’s a girl was music to my ears…I got the exact type of child I’ve always wanted.

So if they had said “boy” you might have cussed a little in your head!

Purple Rain

January 24th, 2011
4:47 pm

Amazon, no I don’t know that and I don’t believe that people are born gay either.

BlackMagicWoman

January 24th, 2011
4:48 pm

“The stick turning positive will be a surprise. A person climbing out of my vajayvay will be a surprise”
ARED…girl we were separated at birth because those are my exact words!

PURPLE….my friend and her husband have been trying for a baby ever sense the honeymoon. She says that she talks to his balls and says, “nothing but sons…you hear me”?
So whatever the baby is…it’s because of you! See if I met Julia, I’d know what it is. I have a gift. I know what the gender of babies. I have never been wrong in all my “21 years” on this earth!

Purple Rain

January 24th, 2011
4:48 pm

I would slap Julia for cheating on my if we had a son that turned out gay.

BlackMagicWoman

January 24th, 2011
4:50 pm

“I would slap Julia for cheating on my if we had a son that turned out gay”
LMAO…..I am getting a mental picture of this! Oh I can’t….

Purple Rain

January 24th, 2011
4:50 pm

Black, I try and keep my wife and my mistresses in different states so no you can not meet Julia. LOL

Obviously I have some super potent sperm because as soon as I started tossin loads in her again it happened.

Purple Rain

January 24th, 2011
4:54 pm

Why am I the only guy here?

Leggs

January 24th, 2011
4:55 pm

@SlimNU ~ you know PR gives “janky” gifts. (I like that word, but not sure how to use it.) I’ve only heard talking with you guys.

Purple Rain

January 24th, 2011
4:57 pm

No change of circumstances can repair a defect of character. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

People who are not fed with love, affirmation and acceptance become driven with sex, things and money!

BlackMagicWoman

January 24th, 2011
4:58 pm

Tossin loads???
With that I bid adieu! I must go brave the 7 degree weather of NYC to get home!

Leggs

January 24th, 2011
4:59 pm

@ARed ~ I know we all say we just want our babies to be healthy…doesn’t matter if it’s a boy or a girl. Me, I probably would have said “awww, it’s a boy and K.I.M….” Never thought of a girl again.

Purple Rain

January 24th, 2011
4:59 pm

Leggs, what is wrong with my pearl necklace? I guess I can only give it to her if there is some janking involved. LOL

AmazonRed™ - Aaron Rodgers is that dude!

January 24th, 2011
5:00 pm

I don’t believe that people are born gay either.

That explains it then.

Leggs

January 24th, 2011
5:04 pm

@PR ~ the clasp is broken…what sense does it make giving a pearl necklace that can’t be worn? You probably knew it was broken when you gave it to her.

BTW, thanks for the E.O.D. {{ hugs }}

Purple Rain

January 24th, 2011
5:06 pm

Leggs, lol

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