Playing for keeps: Long-term potential important?
The dating scene in Atlanta can feel about as solid as a Krispy Kreme donut some days. The fact is, there are plenty of single people mixing and mingling with each other. We meet. We flirt. We swap numbers. Yada yada yada. But how many of them have long-term potential?
Yes, I know long-term is not the sexiest word to those of you who have an aversion to commitment. It’s like this scary word that you barely want to utter around people who “are out to have a good time” or keep it light.
Well, dating “light” is great for a while, no pressure, no expectations. I have nothing against fun and light, really? I just know that at some point you figure out that the Mr/Miss Right Now can slowly become The One. Especially after you two have spent significant time together. You didn’t plan it, it just sort of naturally happened. So now what?
How do you figure out when someone has long-term potential if you didn’t really bother checking for it in the beginning?
Do you consider long-term potential important when you meet someone and go out with them?
Ideally, what type of person has long-term potential?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Blog
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317 comments Add your comment
i'm swiss™
January 24th, 2011
1:17 pm
Did somebody say something about Slim’s taint?
SexyCool
January 24th, 2011
1:19 pm
Considering that the FIRST thing that you mentioned was the amount of MONEY that he spent on you, it certainly read like that was YOUR focus, not MY misunderstanding.
SlimNumeroUno
January 24th, 2011
1:21 pm
‘awwww, he’s ensuring he’ll contine to get more of that!!!! That’s was very sweet!’
Leggs – who said he got something? LOL! It was allllll about me
swiss – go back to your corner lol
Purple Rain
January 24th, 2011
1:21 pm
No matter if she has a degree or not she has to be able to mentally stimulate me in the proper way. I don’t care about reality shows or the latest gossip magazine topic. She has to be current on what is going on in the real world also. LOL
SexyCool
January 24th, 2011
1:21 pm
BMW – I’m going to need you to blog about your social expirement, perhaps hire a camera crew to do a dating reality show and have you get paid doing so.
i'm swiss™
January 24th, 2011
1:23 pm
BMW — I have a D.C. — Doctor of Cunnilingus. Do I qualify for your documentary?
i'm swiss™
January 24th, 2011
1:27 pm
Love the blog filter… So far today, I’ve slipped in “breastseses,” “taint” and “cunnilingus” just off the top of my head. But I still can’t say “Me.lo”
i'm swiss™
January 24th, 2011
1:29 pm
Hey, Me.lo — If you’re lurking, here’s an idea: Change your moniker to “breastseses, taints and cunnilingus”
Leggs
January 24th, 2011
1:32 pm
@BMW ~ my girlfriend just turned 50. I don’t know how old the guy was. He was younger than us!
@SlimNU ~ you said he got “something” earlier in the day you nut!
Leggs
January 24th, 2011
1:34 pm
Rant: I hate these black cubes disguised as mushrooms in the can of mushroom soup I poured all over my baked chicken. Too many of them for me to pick out, but pick away I am!
SlimNumeroUno
January 24th, 2011
1:42 pm
Leggs – No I said he made the CT cry earlier…and I can’t concentrate when you say “he got something earlier…and nut, in the same sentence.
Exactly 
Leggs
January 24th, 2011
1:42 pm
@Beautiful ~ why are you comparing meeting men to your ex? Are you still in need of an apartment, bills paid or need furniture?
Leggs
January 24th, 2011
1:43 pm
@SlimNU ~ that’s funny…gotcha!
AmazonRed™ - Aaron Rodgers is that dude!
January 24th, 2011
1:49 pm
*sigh* Angie – Is this still the man who cheated on you with 30 women? You still compare other men to him?
Leggs
January 24th, 2011
1:53 pm
OUCH!
Beautiful
January 24th, 2011
1:54 pm
@Leggs/Red… my post was more towards his dedication than anything. the money was just an example of his commitment to make our relationship long term.
Beautiful
January 24th, 2011
1:56 pm
him putting in the time and effort to show me that he was serious and this is what he desired. i’m not looking for a cheater, i’m looking for that passion.
AmazonRed™ - Aaron Rodgers is that dude!
January 24th, 2011
1:56 pm
@Angie – You should have realized it was a con tho. A easy way to get you to fall for him quickly. I had a girlfriend who met a similar type of guy. He offered to pay her mortgage to prove his “commitment.” He was screwing with her money and also wanted an excuse to have sex with her (unprotected) quickly.
SexyCool
January 24th, 2011
2:00 pm
If he cheated, not only was he not committed to the long term, he was not committed to the short term either.
Beautiful
January 24th, 2011
2:02 pm
uh… no! lol. our relationship lasted 8 yrs. it was beautiful at the beginning, like all relationships. we just failed the last two yrs. communication problems more than anything.
Beautiful
January 24th, 2011
2:04 pm
y’all getting away from the main reason for me posting. their ACTION!!!
kimmie
January 24th, 2011
2:08 pm
Purple Rain
January 24th, 2011
12:18 pm
kimmie, you missed my point if they were not properly trained at home by whomever how would they know it’s bad behavior?
Purple – No, I got your point loud and clear. You missed mine. NO EXCUSES. That’s my way of thinking, especially at this point in my life. You can use the “I was not properly trained” excuse until you about 21 with me, then all bets are off. Me, and all of society, expect you to behave as an adult. Nobody is buying that, if you commit a crime, you can’t use “I didn’t know” as an excuse. Well, you can, but you still must face the consequences.
These chicks that are socalled “marking their territory” have been allowed to get away with it. It’s obviously still working, since it’s so commonplace and many still manage to snag husbands doing it.
That’s something I WAS taught – if I want to stay in a bad situation with a dude, just admit that. But don’t make excuses for him.
SexyCool
January 24th, 2011
2:12 pm
The ACTION that you were quite specific about and gave more than one example of was of him spending MONEY.
Leggs
January 24th, 2011
2:12 pm
@Beautiful ~ I think ARed is talking about his ACTION.
i'm swiss™
January 24th, 2011
2:18 pm
“if you commit a crime, you can’t use “I didn’t know” as an excuse. Well, you can, but you still must face the consequences.”
kimmie — But “I didn’t know” is a valid excuse for the NCAA. Just ask Auburn. Or Ohio State.
Leggs
January 24th, 2011
2:18 pm
Exactly, SexyC! His commitment to getting a roof over your head, your bills paid and furniture. You spoke nothing about his committment to the two of you.
SexyCool
January 24th, 2011
2:24 pm
And, B…I’m not trying to give you a hard time. I’m just pointing to the examples that YOU gave.
Leggs
January 24th, 2011
2:25 pm
Same here Beaut! Just ribbing you a bit.
SlimNumeroUno
January 24th, 2011
2:25 pm
I don’t see how purposely leaving your belongings at a dudes house is marking territory. If buddy is up on game, then he’ll make sure to do a sweep prior to the arrival of the next chick…unless you’re dealing with a nasty/messy dude. (Sort of reminds me of buddy who said he gave some oral pleasures to one chick, then gets a call from a second chick, which he ends up kissing w/o a proper coo-chie juice flushing/brushing/flossing)
i'm swiss™
January 24th, 2011
2:28 pm
Slim — He should have just told chick #2 that he just ate a tuna melt…
Leggs
January 24th, 2011
2:31 pm
@SlimNU ~ if it’s not “marking your territory” what would you call it? Women leave things in the hopes that his next conquest would find it and an argument would ensue and then he’s back to calling the person who actually kick started the argument (LOL).
Kym-Yeah uh huh you know what it is...
January 24th, 2011
2:33 pm
@Slim..I thought your story about the necklace was really sweet!! He likes you..he really really likes you!!.. Okay I didn’t read anything else..what I miss?
SlimNumeroUno
January 24th, 2011
2:33 pm
i’m swiss – At least said he had an onion sub or something rather than make that chick tastes #1 against her will. Just plain wrong
AmazonRed™ - Aaron Rodgers is that dude!
January 24th, 2011
2:35 pm
I think ARed is talking about his ACTION.
I am. Providing financially is nothing really. See folks who pay their child support and do nothing else. That’s not love it’s obligation.
And don’t get me wrong…nothing wrong with appreciating the good things about your ex…but to compare him to someone who had no desire to protect your heart and body…. no ma’am. He can kick rocks.
kimmie
January 24th, 2011
2:36 pm
Raqi – One of my best friends has great “book sense”. She started out going to college majoring in engineering. She finished 2 yrs, then dropped out when she got pregnant. Her child is 14 now. She has gone to 2 other colleges and taken a class here & there, flunked out of 2 classes at the last school because she was busy chasing a dude. To make a long story short, she’s always felt bad that she didn’t complete her degree and she does not like the example she’s set for her daughter, who is an excellent student.
She has a very big chip on her shoulder now. Guys that she knows have degrees she feels intimidated by them before she even gets to know them. She kinda hurt my feelings recently. She knows that my SO is attorney, and went to Morehouse and Emory Law. She’d only talked to him maybe 2 times because she doesn’t live here. She has been dating a guy she really likes that is a cop. I was telling her about this restaraunt I wanted to take her & her beau to when they came to visit. She started kinda stuttering and in so many words implied that my SO might not be comfortable or fit in hanging out with blue collar types such as she & her man. She knows I’m not a snob like that and most importantly, neither is my SO. A few on this very blog have met him and can attest that he is not a snob either. Like I said, educated men that have shown interest in her she has rejected because SHE feels bad that she does not have a degree. I’ve told her it’s not fair she puts her insecurities off on other people and judge them before she even gets to know them.
SlimNumeroUno
January 24th, 2011
2:39 pm
Leggs – I’m not sure what I’d call it but it is really only a HOPE that another chick may find your belongings. It’s so funny this came up because this morning we happened to have to get ready for work around the same time…so he’s standing in the kitchen drinking coffee & eating a banana all the while i’m walking around doing a sweep to make sure I got everything. He sort of gave me a look, which made me feel weird, almost as if he was thinking…dang, you aren’t going to leave ANYTHING. lol
‘He likes you..he really really likes you’
Kym – I suppose so…at least I hope anyway.
DreamsMaterialize
January 24th, 2011
2:39 pm
it was his dedication towards the long-term and to make us work that GOT ME!
Beautiful his short-term dedication to the long term?
Dan - Simply...Superior
January 24th, 2011
2:39 pm
@Slim
When I saw the stuff my girl left behind, I commented and we joked about it, and everything is where she left it.
When it was random chick’s, the stuff got politely (and quietly) tossed and were never spoken of again. Because my thought is if I throw out enough of your stuff, you should eventually get the message.
kimmie
January 24th, 2011
2:42 pm
Slim – That’s disgusting.
Oh, and your guy and the necklace – major cool points for that!
Leggs
January 24th, 2011
2:43 pm
@kimmie ~ your friend is missing out on some very nice people. Just because a person has a degree doesn’t necessarily make them smart. She needs to remove that unnecessary stress from her mind. And, she had no right to say that about your SO, especially since she’s never met him. Heck, she knows you so she should know your mate wouldn’t be a stuck up Mr. Belvedere!
kimmie
January 24th, 2011
2:43 pm
Because my thought is if I throw out enough of your stuff, you should eventually get the message.
Dan – I love it!
SlimNumeroUno
January 24th, 2011
2:47 pm
‘my thought is if I throw out enough of your stuff, you should eventually get the message’
Dan – I’ve heard several dudes say that very same thing. I don’t recall who mentioned it before, maybe BMW, but if I notice i’ve left something I will call and say, Hey I think I left me so and so there…will you check and put it up for me. blah blah blah. But don’t think that every time a chick leaves things behind, that it was on purpose.
kimmie
January 24th, 2011
2:48 pm
Leggs – She had met him once before, she just puts anyone that has a degree in a catagory, like they are not “down” or can’t relate to everyday folk! That’s why it hurt my feelings – she spent a whole weekend with us and he was nothing but nice to her! And yes, I have told her how she’s missing out, stereotyping like that.
SexyCool
January 24th, 2011
2:48 pm
Yep, kimmie…straight down to earth. I tell TheDude all the time that you guys are my favorite *beige* couple. (lol)
DreamsMaterialize
January 24th, 2011
2:49 pm
kimmie I’ve dated someone with those insecurities. Whenever we would go somewhere, she would say people were looking up their noses at her because she didn’t have a degree. After a while she would make sarcastic comments like “Oh I don’t wanna go there. Those are your kinda people, not mine.” or “I don’t have a bunch of degrees, so I guess I don’t understand what you’re talking about” or “You like her don’t you? She’s your type. She got a lotta degrees.” You get tired of that after a while.
Leggs
January 24th, 2011
2:50 pm
@SlimNU ~ yes, it’s only a HOPE!
But him looking at you in disbelief that you’re taking everything you came with is cute!
Dan - Simply...Superior
January 24th, 2011
2:52 pm
@Slim
That’s the point, you never really know.
Even if you call and ask that I hold on to something you left, how many times must I do that before I get suspicious? Even then, if I care about you, I’m going to ask; if not, you’ll eventually get the hint when I keep saying “I forgot”; or
when I have to explicitly tell you “to make a list and check it twice when you come over, and when you leave”
kimmie
January 24th, 2011
2:53 pm
Dreams – Yeah it gets real old. I finally told her if it bothered her so much nothing is stopping her from going on back and finishing up. If it’s that important, do something about it. Of course, that’s met with silence.
BlackMagicWoman
January 24th, 2011
2:53 pm
SCOOL…I do want to videotape this as a documentary.
SWISS…
To the bad boy corner!
kimmie
January 24th, 2011
2:54 pm
SCool – Thanks! Hugs!