Playing for keeps: Long-term potential important?
The dating scene in Atlanta can feel about as solid as a Krispy Kreme donut some days. The fact is, there are plenty of single people mixing and mingling with each other. We meet. We flirt. We swap numbers. Yada yada yada. But how many of them have long-term potential?
Yes, I know long-term is not the sexiest word to those of you who have an aversion to commitment. It’s like this scary word that you barely want to utter around people who “are out to have a good time” or keep it light.
Well, dating “light” is great for a while, no pressure, no expectations. I have nothing against fun and light, really? I just know that at some point you figure out that the Mr/Miss Right Now can slowly become The One. Especially after you two have spent significant time together. You didn’t plan it, it just sort of naturally happened. So now what?
How do you figure out when someone has long-term potential if you didn’t really bother checking for it in the beginning?
Do you consider long-term potential important when you meet someone and go out with them?
Ideally, what type of person has long-term potential?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Blog
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317 comments Add your comment
BlackMagicWoman
January 24th, 2011
12:10 pm
Well being as that I have not met one man in ATL with long term potential I can’t really comment on that.
As far as leaving stuff at a guy’s crib. That is a no no because if we fall out right after that night that I left an object…I’m pretty sure I will not get that back. I almost left my hair sticks at a guy’s house one night.( I took my hair down because I was laying on his chest on couch watching a movie. Didn’t want to blind the guy!) I made sure he went back inside and got them for me while I warmed up my car! My stuff comes with me…and goes with me! My tampon is MY tampon!
Hoodrats can have degrees…..Amen! Having the capacity to sit through classes, do term papers and past exams has nothing to do with class. I’ve met some hood a$$ chicks with a BAs and Master’s on their walls. Hell I am not hood, I have a degree and I don’t have it hanging on my wall. Hell… I don’t even know where it is!
Some people take having a degree to be more than what it really is. Some folks won’t date someone because they don’t have a degree. Kind of sad because jerkoffs can have PHDs (I’ve met a few). But that guy/girl who doesn’t have initials behind his/her name could be the nicest guy/girl. But you have already counted them out. Degrees don’t mean you have common sense, class, or even morals.
Raqi V
January 24th, 2011
12:12 pm
I just wanted to type “wow” backwards. (lol)z
You are a nut. LOL
Here is an assignment. Spell the following words backwards five times.
Bob
Madam
Noon
Level
Radar
Mom
Dad
Pop
Pip
Rotor
Eye
Deed
(Those are all the ones I can think of right now.)
Purple Rain
January 24th, 2011
12:12 pm
What is a hair stick?
Purple Rain
January 24th, 2011
12:14 pm
Here are some more:
did
civic
racecar
kimmie
January 24th, 2011
12:14 pm
Purple, again, no excuse for bad behavior.
A lot of folks seem to have a chip on their shoulders about education too. Education should train you for whatever profession you choose and offer you some exposure to the world and other ways of thinking about things. It doesn’t mean that you automatically will have class or not do silly things or will be great in a relationship. It just means you MIGHT have had more exposure to things, nothing more. A person with a degree is just as capable of be a jerk or a beyotch as one with a GED.
Dan - Simply...Superior
January 24th, 2011
12:14 pm
@PR
Weapons that BMW carries under the guise of fashion.
Purple Rain
January 24th, 2011
12:15 pm
nun
kimmie
January 24th, 2011
12:16 pm
Degrees don’t mean you have common sense, class, or even morals.
Bears repeating, BMW!!
Purple Rain
January 24th, 2011
12:16 pm
kayak
boob
gag
dud
i'm swiss™
January 24th, 2011
12:17 pm
“Weapons that BMW carries under the guise of fashion.”
Dan — You shouldn’t talk about BMW’s breastseses that way…
Purple Rain
January 24th, 2011
12:17 pm
rotator
I can’t think of anymore
Purple Rain
January 24th, 2011
12:18 pm
kimmie, you missed my point if they were not properly trained at home by whomever how would they know it’s bad behavior?
Purple Rain
January 24th, 2011
12:19 pm
Dan, I figured it was some instrument of pain. LOL
Celisea
January 24th, 2011
12:20 pm
Degrees don’t mean you have common sense, class, or even morals.
Cosign….common sense seems rare there days and really, not so common anymore. I know I’m a stinker….most days I really don’t mind
Kym-Yeah uh huh you know what it is...
January 24th, 2011
12:21 pm
@Swiss like Slim said you never disappoint..LOL.
@BMW awesome statement. degrees do not grant you common sense.
Purple Rain
January 24th, 2011
12:25 pm
Lack of a degree does not mean that you have common sense either. I just have more in common with someone who has a degree so it makes sense that I date someone like that LOL
Kym-Yeah uh huh you know what it is...
January 24th, 2011
12:25 pm
@Purple alot of the women you guys find so fascinating get their best experience and training by jokers out there who help them perfect their game. The more practice they get in and the more jokers that fall for the okey dokey..and then it just becomes what is considered the norm for all women.
Purple Rain
January 24th, 2011
12:26 pm
Hair stick, I “googled” them. I have seen those in karate movies as weapons used by women. LOL
SlimNumeroUno
January 24th, 2011
12:27 pm
Random mentioning (throw up in your mouth a little bit warning) – I know how negative we can get on this blog or just in life generally. But wanted to share a little tidbit…Saturday a necklace that i’ve had for years and wear all the time broke at thedudes crib. I felt almost naked w/o having it on. So Sunday, he and I are just chilling watching the game and he throws on some clothes and tells me he’ll be back….didn’t say where he was going nor did I ask. He comes back, throws this bag on the couch and goes back outside. He had went out and bought me a new chain. I thought that was rather sweet and I didn’t expect him to do that at all. Made me cry because I thought it was very thoughtful of him to do that
Purple Rain
January 24th, 2011
12:28 pm
Kym, I think some women can navigate through life with a good mind not to fall for those jokers. Think it has to do with environment and expose as well as sense of self worth too.
SexyCool
January 24th, 2011
12:31 pm
Loved that, SlimGoody.
Purple Rain
January 24th, 2011
12:31 pm
Slim, that was very special and thoughtful of him
Hopefully you gave him a big hug
SlimNumeroUno
January 24th, 2011
12:32 pm
I tried to hug him but he told me to get off of him. LOL!
Leggs
January 24th, 2011
12:34 pm
@SlimNU ~ why would that story make anyone throw up in their mouth? That was a very sweet read!
Raqi V
January 24th, 2011
12:35 pm
Education should train you for whatever profession you choose
kimmie, that is true. However we know some have the misconception that it gives them entitlement across the board. Education is good. I want my kids to get the best education they can, however I know it’s up to me and my hub to teach them self respect and respect for others. We have to teach them that an education will make them no matter than anyone else and education does not instill morals and faith.
My friend well educated friend Mari is on her way over now and she has a bad habit of saying “why come”. She knows it should be “why” or even maybe “how come” but she grew up with that habit in her family and it just comes out. She knows better but she admits to being educated does not make her perfect. LOL
Purple Rain
January 24th, 2011
12:36 pm
Slim, really? LOL he is the tough but caring type. LOL
Raqi V
January 24th, 2011
12:37 pm
Slim, that’s beautiful.
Now you know they gon get you for that. You have officially tainted your blog personality. You will never be looked at the same.
Sassy Me...Ms.Blackberri :-)
January 24th, 2011
12:39 pm
Slim Nu luv that 12:27…that’s really sweet. I would’ve cried,too!
Purple Rain
January 24th, 2011
12:40 pm
Raqi, is right. Slim what are you doing having emotions and such? Yo are just a girly girl after all. I think it’s sweet thought
BlackMagicWoman
January 24th, 2011
12:41 pm
PR…they are decorated chopsticks that women use to put our hair up or stick in a bun or updo as deocration.
And yes…as Dan said…they can be used to take someone’s eyes out if need be! Hey, I’m an NY’er…don’t judge me!
SWISS…”You shouldn’t talk about BMW’s breastseses that way”
I am gonna get you one of these days!
PURPLE..” I just have more in common with someone who has a degree so it makes sense that I date someone like that ”
He always spoke about his intellect, and academics…blah blah blah. His wall held many degrees. (Whoopty d@mn do) He spoke like he was so much more intelligent than I. So I asked him…besides what you majored in (finance)…in what else do you think you are smarter in than I? In fact….did he ever have to dumb down a conversation with me for my lack of knowledge? Nope, it was I who had to do it for him. I don’t have a PHD nor a Master’s. He always talked about what his degrees allowed him to have. That’s great. Now I know what he did have over me…a sh*t-load more of student loan money to pay back! 
Beside sthe piece of paper with your name and university on it….what else more could you have in common? I actually dated this guy who had his PHD and couldn’t wait to be called Dr. So I asked…”if my asthmatic a$$ passed out on this kitchen floor…DR….what could you do besides call 911 just like any other degreed person”? He couldn’t say thing!
BlackMagicWoman
January 24th, 2011
12:43 pm
PR…they are decorated chopsticks that women use to put our hair up or stick in a bun or updo as deocration.
And yes…as Dan said…they can be used to take someone’s eyes out if need be! Hey, I’m an NY’er…don’t judge me!
SWISS…”You shouldn’t talk about BMW’s breastseses that way”
I am gonna get you one of these days!
PURPLE..” I just have more in common with someone who has a degree so it makes sense that I date someone like that ”
He always spoke about his intellect, and academics…blah blah blah. His wall held many degrees. (Whoopty d@mn do) He spoke like he was so much more intelligent than I. So I asked him…besides what you majored in (finance)…in what else do you think you are smarter in than I? In fact….did he ever have to dumb down a conversation with me for my lack of knowledge? Nope, it was I who had to do it for him. I don’t have a PHD nor a Master’s. He always talked about what his degrees allowed him to have. That’s great. Now I know what he did have over me…a crapload more of student loan money to pay back! 
Besides the piece of paper with your name and university on it….what else more could you have in common? I actually dated this guy who had his PHD and couldn’t wait to be called Dr. So I asked…”if my asthmatic a$$ passed out on this kitchen floor…DR….what could you do besides call 911 just like any other degreed person”? He couldn’t say thing!
Raqi V
January 24th, 2011
12:43 pm
Disclaimer: Slim what I am going to ask is going to be highly inappropriate but you will get what I mean.
Did your CT cry also? LOL Mine would have. A little any way. LMBO
(Yeah I know my attempt at humor on here sucks.)
Purple Rain
January 24th, 2011
12:49 pm
Black, what do we have in common besides a piece of paper? It’s because I strongly prefer a degree in a “potential” mate, although I would not totally omit someone who did not have one. It’s not about their “earning” potential or lack thereof nor being able to quiz them on physics or metaphysical poetry. It’s the fact that they would have a major shared experience that I have therefore we would have more in common.
Leggs
January 24th, 2011
12:49 pm
Went to a friend’s 50th this past Saturday. Although I was looking fierce (LOL, my words), had to compliment a man on his honesty. We danced many times together, and by the end of the evening he came to my table. His exact words were: “I would love to dance with you again. You can call me any time you want to go out dancing and I’ll be there, but I’m married.” I told him I couldn’t call up a married man and ask him to go dancing with me. He said “Yes, you can. I have a cell phone.” I said No, I can’t. Then asked if his wife knew about his cell phone. He just walked away grinning. So, although I thanked him on his honesty, I still wanted to throw an egg at his head!
Purple Rain
January 24th, 2011
12:50 pm
Raqi, there are some lines that should not be crosses and you maam have just gone to far asking about her CT crying.
So Slim did it make you wet? LOL
Purple Rain
January 24th, 2011
12:52 pm
Leggs, what if his wife was in a wheel chair and could not dance? See you would have been helping them both, while she sat there and rolled around in circles while you two dance. (turns on the music from the movie Psycho)
i'm swiss™
January 24th, 2011
12:59 pm
I have to agree with Purple on this one. Degrees (or lack thereof) are no guarantee of intellect. But the odds of sharing common interests, goals, priorities, world views, etc., are greater with someone of a similar education level than with someone of a vastly different education level. That is not to say lasting connections are impossible outside one’s own strata, but the odds are definitely slanted.
Raqi V
January 24th, 2011
12:59 pm
they are decorated chopsticks that women use to put our hair up
BlackMagic, do you know I cannot make those things work by themselves. LOL I have to do an upsweep with hair pins first and then have the sticks just as decoration. My friend D can do it blindfolded, but I guess I am just awkward. LOL
Leggs
January 24th, 2011
1:01 pm
@Raqi V ~ I thought along those lines when PR asked if she gave him a hug. I thought that part was probably hugging him tightly.
Raqi V
January 24th, 2011
1:02 pm
LOL Purple, Yes I was asking did a move like that make her want to jump his bones. Thanks for being all blunt about it.
But seriously when you menfolk surprise us with stuff like that it makes us…some of us…all mushy on the inside. Figuratively and literally.
Beautiful
January 24th, 2011
1:03 pm
hello!
todays topic sums up why i’m still a single black woman! lol. i know i’m not suppose to compare men to my ex, but i can’t help it. when i met him, within two months that man spent so much money on me (furniture, a new home for us to rent, bills, groceries, etc.). his heart spoke long term from day one. we didn’t even date. went straight to commitment. i was so spoiled.
i have yet to meet that type of man today.
Raqi V
January 24th, 2011
1:04 pm
Leggs, yeah. Those little moves get the fluids flowing. The more personal (i.e. unexpectedly replacing a treasured item) the better.
Beautiful
January 24th, 2011
1:04 pm
dating is so overrated.
i'm swiss™
January 24th, 2011
1:05 pm
“Leggs, what if his wife was in a wheel chair and could not dance? See you would have been helping them both, while she sat there and rolled around in circles while you two dance.”
Purple — Now you’ve got me thinking about the movie Dirty, Rotten Scoundrels… If she sees Leggs and ol’ dude dancing, maybe it will give her the motivation to get up out of the wheelchair…
Purple Rain
January 24th, 2011
1:10 pm
Swiss I was thinking of that scene with Steve Martin when I typed that. LOL
SlimNumeroUno
January 24th, 2011
1:11 pm
‘why would that story make anyone throw up in their mouth?’
Leggs – You know how some folks can be…just wanted to give the Sap Warning for the haters. lol
‘he is the tough but caring type’
Purp – I think that pretty much describes him…tough, stern, nonchalant type of dude. Guess he’s the perfect profile for being a Fed. lol
‘You have officially tainted your blog personality’
Raqi – How did I taint my blog persona?
‘Slim what are you doing having emotions and such?’
Purp – Yall know I’m a big ball of mush…I’m really a thoughtful type of person. I’m the type of person that I can take a shower at thedudes house and write lil mushy notes on the mirror while it’s fogged up for when he goes to take his….or leave little notes all over the house…or if I’m out and see his fav candy or whatever, I’ll pick it up just because….so I appreciate the little things when done back to me.
Raqi – No my CT didn’t cry…earlier that day before he got me that so does that count?
SexyCool
January 24th, 2011
1:13 pm
Well, Beautiful. Your situation, then, sums up why the amount of money that a man spends on you is not necessarily a good indicator of his long term intentions.
And if anything, I would think that, instead of looking for and wanting that particular behavior, encountering someone who follows that pattern would raise a red flag with you.
Leggs
January 24th, 2011
1:14 pm
@SlimNU ~ awwww, he’s ensuring he’ll contine to get more of that!!!! That’s was very sweet!
Beautiful
January 24th, 2011
1:16 pm
@Sexy… i apologize, you didn’t get what i was sayin’. or tryin’ to say. it was his dedication towards the long-term and to make us work that GOT ME!
BlackMagicWoman
January 24th, 2011
1:16 pm
PR…Ok…I feel you…I guess!
LEGGS…there is no fool worse than an old fool! He is 50 and still playing games? Pathetic looser! SMDH
SWISS…I’m not saying that a Harvard scholar would have anything in common with RiRi with the GED. But I just find that I have come across a few snobs that said…”I would never date a guy’girls with at least a Bachelors”. And I asked…would having these degrees mean he/she would treat you better? And because they don’t…does that mean that they could not be intelligent and knowledgeable of many things just as you? Unless your idea of fun is doing trig problems…chances are he/she would have many of same interests. I know plenty of dumb a$$e$ with degrees. I think I am going to do an experiement. I am going to date guys with various levels of education and see which one vibes best with me. And really to see if it makes a difference. Let’s see if these educational predjudices are valid and/or offers any better means of finding the right mate. My stance as of now is, the guy does not have to have gone to college. But if he was one of the lucky few who either started his business or lucked up into a great career via starting from the ground and working his way up…more power to him. I will look at him for of course physical and then his morals, demeanor, and intellect (which does not all have to be book rendered). But after my experiment…would my views change? In fact…as I typed this….I just got inspired to do a documentary. Don’t steal my ideas! I will hunt you down!