Playing for keeps: Long-term potential important?
The dating scene in Atlanta can feel about as solid as a Krispy Kreme donut some days. The fact is, there are plenty of single people mixing and mingling with each other. We meet. We flirt. We swap numbers. Yada yada yada. But how many of them have long-term potential?
Yes, I know long-term is not the sexiest word to those of you who have an aversion to commitment. It’s like this scary word that you barely want to utter around people who “are out to have a good time” or keep it light.
Well, dating “light” is great for a while, no pressure, no expectations. I have nothing against fun and light, really? I just know that at some point you figure out that the Mr/Miss Right Now can slowly become The One. Especially after you two have spent significant time together. You didn’t plan it, it just sort of naturally happened. So now what?
How do you figure out when someone has long-term potential if you didn’t really bother checking for it in the beginning?
Do you consider long-term potential important when you meet someone and go out with them?
Ideally, what type of person has long-term potential?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Blog
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317 comments Add your comment
Celisea
January 24th, 2011
11:10 am
This convo reminds me of the dude that blogged about keeping a duffle bag in his car to rinse off (albeit no sink and running water) in between and before on to the next.
AmazonRed™ - Aaron Rodgers is that dude!
January 24th, 2011
11:12 am
@ARed ~ I have never left anything at a guy’s apartment marking my territory. No matter how old you are, it’s a childish move!
Right! I mean panties?! You came in there with em and i know you feel that extra wind when you leave there without em!
Now, there are times I’ve left stuff, purely on accident. Like an earring. And when I get home and notice them missing I will call dude and be like “I left my earring by mistake” can you put it aside for me til I can get it again? I don’t expect it to be sitting in the same place where I left it! I expect it to be stashed away so it’s not even a good “trick!”
SlimNumeroUno
January 24th, 2011
11:14 am
Raqi – I know you weren’t necessarily addressing the whole ‘Having the “permission” or the freedom to leave your stuff at your mate’s place goes along with being exclusive’ deal towards me or Ared. In my current situation it isn’t an issue for me to leave stuff there which I have but I was speaking specifically in regards to feminine type products. I don’t do the leave little stuff on purpose thing just to test and see if he puts it away or whatever. I have left stuff there accidentally and it wasn’t stashed away hidden in the back of a drawer lol. Matter of fact, he is the one who told me that I need to have certain things over there. He was joking around saying, Come on Slim, you know how this works…first you start out with a toothbrush, then you’re supposed to ‘accidentally’ leave yo draws, then a shirt etc and next thing you know you’ll have a whole space in the closet. lolol
Dan - Simply...Superior
January 24th, 2011
11:21 am
@Leggs
I’m a personal property rights kinda guy – so I ask if it’s okay.
@Raqi (11:08)
Nope, I’m talking about hiding stuff. In the sock drawers, medicine cabinet, under the sink.
@Raqi (11:06)
As ARed stated, I was a guy that when I was on my dougie, I was on it.
There were (usually) no “if, and, or buts” about my intentions.
And that’s because I believe marriage is sacred. So in the vain of that belief, you’re right, I’ve done my diligence, sown my royal oats, and waited to make a conclusion by the time I propose (again).
DreamsMaterialize
January 24th, 2011
11:21 am
Payin my bills…
ARed Wasn’t Steve McNair paying the bills for his side chick? I think she decided he didn’t have long-term potential…or maybe she decided his potential was eternal…in the after life. lol
No one purposely marries the wrong person
Raqi shyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyt. lol I know someone right now who’s leaving her husband of 20 years because she said she never really wanted to marry him. Funny thing is I bet her husband thought she had long term potential…after 20 years he probably thought it was a given.
Celisea
January 24th, 2011
11:22 am
……..and how folks were either on one side of the fence or the other. How if exclusive it just makes sense to have a few essentials of his at your place and your at his place. And how some folks no matter how exclusive don’t want nothing left behind or left over. Just reminds me of that whole conversation…
Celisea
January 24th, 2011
11:24 am
Dreams – That whole Steve McNair thingy…wasn’t he married? We can’t use that example….he was already in a long term. Now his wife may not see in retrospect he wasn’t long term material
Celisea
January 24th, 2011
11:25 am
“now” not “not”
Dan - Simply...Superior
January 24th, 2011
11:30 am
@Red
Were you being serious or sarcastic with the “pay[ing] of the bills” comment?
Raqi V
January 24th, 2011
11:30 am
I don’t do the leave little stuff on purpose thing just to test and see if he puts it away or whatever
Slim, I agree to that ^ being very immature and childish. No woman over the age of 25 should be doing that. If she is she is clearly not ready for an adult relationship.
I guess since I honed in on Dan’s comment I missed the entirety of the conversation.
As for the feminine products, yeah I used to keep a stash that now hub’s place. You know for those emergency times. LOL I was very irregular for a span of time and never knew when to expect my aunt to flow.
AmazonRed™ - Aaron Rodgers is that dude!
January 24th, 2011
11:30 am
@Dreams – Yeah, Steve McNair is a bad example. In any case, she did feel he had long term potential…which is why she laid up under him for so long and took him with her.
AmazonRed™ - Aaron Rodgers is that dude!
January 24th, 2011
11:30 am
Were you being serious or sarcastic with the “pay[ing] of the bills” comment?
What do you think?
kimmie
January 24th, 2011
11:32 am
Dreams – On Q100 this morning, they had a lady call in that has been married for 15 years to a man she is not in love with. She said basically he was a rebound guy – the guy she had been seeing was really ugly to her and this guy was nice. They married and have an 11 yr old daughter that they both are extremely close to. She said they only get intimate about twice a year. She said he loves her so much he just deals with it, but she doesn’t love him. She said they moved here from up north when they married. She says she feels trapped because she has no other friends or family here. She doesn’t know whether to stick it out at least until the child is 18 or go ahead and divorce him and move back north.
Raqi V
January 24th, 2011
11:32 am
Dan, I don’t doubt that it has happened and will happen again for someone. However for the vast majority of regular folks (like us), we don’t go marrying someone we truly believe is not the right one at that time.
SexyCool
January 24th, 2011
11:32 am
Hiding stuff in sock drawers, medicine cabinets, under sinks?!?
Really?!?!?
Wow!!!….let me say that backwards….”Wow!!!”
Raqi V
January 24th, 2011
11:36 am
SexyCool, I know “Wow”. How old are these women? 16? LOL
And you know I just cannot believe the guys that get with these women don’t see signs of this being present. But then some men are just so gung ho about getting the goods they don’t stop to think about the outcome of getting with the crazy one.
Leggs
January 24th, 2011
11:36 am
@ARed ~ Exactly! Once I realized I left something, I will call you immediately and inform you that I left it there. The only territory I’m going to mark is my home w/my husband. Other than that, I ain’t leaving any of my stuff anywhere!!!
kimmie
January 24th, 2011
11:38 am
Yeah, that is rather immature, but these women still seem to get the guys.
AmazonRed™ - Aaron Rodgers is that dude!
January 24th, 2011
11:39 am
Alright ladies…lets stop being surprised at hootrat behavior.
Dan - Simply...Superior
January 24th, 2011
11:42 am
@Red
I don’t know, it’s why I asked (I surmised the latter).
And, to your 11:39, it’s not hoodrat behavior. I know uber-degree’d women that get caught doing silly stuff.
i'm swiss™
January 24th, 2011
11:43 am
Morning all…
Okay, ladies… All of you that are ragging on dudes for being “presumptuous” for having condoms on them need to ease up. If we’re just starting to go out with you, we have no idea how slutty you may or may not be.
Like the Boy Scouts taught us: be prepared. 
kimmie
January 24th, 2011
11:45 am
The behavior itself is hoodrat, whether the woman is degreed-up or not. Like I said before, though, it seems to still work either way, cause a lot of these dudes still marry those women that do stuff like that.
AmazonRed™ - Aaron Rodgers is that dude!
January 24th, 2011
11:46 am
Dan – I know that’s why you asked. I still wanted to know what you thought.
I was being sarcastic. I have yet to have a man pay a bill, I have yet to ask as well.
And hoodrats can have degrees.
DreamsMaterialize
January 24th, 2011
11:46 am
which is why she laid up under him for so long and took him with her.
ARed yeah they’ll be together forever now…
On Q100 this morning,
kimmie It’s a sad situation and especially tough on the kids. I bet it’s not that uncommon either.
@ARed ~ Exactly! Once I realized I left something, I will call you immediately and inform you that I left it there.
Leggs Every guy has had a chick leave something by accident, but somewhere way in the back of your mind you’re probably wondering if it was really an accident. lol
AmazonRed™ - Aaron Rodgers is that dude!
January 24th, 2011
11:47 am
The behavior itself is hoodrat, whether the woman is degreed-up or not.
Thank you kimmie. Men are so clueless!!!
Dan - Simply...Superior
January 24th, 2011
11:51 am
@Kimmie/Red
By your logic, hoodrat behavior is not limited to educational status?
Then, why should I be impressed, concerned, or [the oft misnomered] “intimitated” by a woman with degrees?
Kym-Yeah uh huh you know what it is...
January 24th, 2011
11:52 am
@kimmie..I am really starting to believe that I am going to be alone for the rest of my life because apparently I am exhibiting the usual behavior of these other “ladies” it seems that why guys will complain about an alleybat behavior..you seem to have no trouble chasing them down. Then when they start behaving according to their nature..we(all females) get lump in and label because of their foolishness.
AmazonRed™ - Aaron Rodgers is that dude!
January 24th, 2011
11:53 am
Then, why should I be impressed, concerned, or [the oft misnomered] “intimitated” by a woman with degrees?
Huh? Who said you should be?
DreamsMaterialize
January 24th, 2011
11:54 am
And, to your 11:39, it’s not hoodrat behavior. I know uber-degree’d women that get caught doing silly stuff.
Dan stupidity isn’t limited to the economically disadvantaged.
The behavior itself is hoodrat, whether the woman is degreed-up or not.
kimmie how is this behavior limited to “hoodrats”?
And hoodrats can have degrees.
ARed Can hoodrats be born into wealth too? ‘Cause they do the same stuff.
SexyCool
January 24th, 2011
11:54 am
I just wanted to type “wow” backwards. (lol)
AmazonRed™ - Aaron Rodgers is that dude!
January 24th, 2011
11:55 am
it seems that why guys will complain about an alleybat behavior..you seem to have no trouble chasing them down. Then when they start behaving according to their nature..we(all females) get lump in and label because of their foolishness.
I still love the term “alleybat”
And I’m still trippin off some chick leaving her panties…her panties really? I’ma need those!
Purple Rain
January 24th, 2011
11:55 am
Had some friends over this weekend and one of my friends did not know I was married he just knew I was back home. Upon him finding out I was married he said he would never get married again because he likes the change in variety know. So long term potential is not important to him at all. LOL
Never had a woman leave anything behind, but I have kept pairs of panties, but I asked her to leave them and it makes for a better ride home for her
AmazonRed™ - Aaron Rodgers is that dude!
January 24th, 2011
11:56 am
Can hoodrats be born into wealth too? ‘Cause they do the same stuff.
Hootrattiness is a state of mind. Look at “New New” from the movie “ATL.”
Kym-Yeah uh huh you know what it is...
January 24th, 2011
11:56 am
sorry that should read I am not..man I am really in need of a coke right now.
kimmie
January 24th, 2011
11:56 am
Then, why should I be impressed, concerned, or [the oft misnomered] “intimitated” by a woman with degrees?
Dan – You have to ask yourself that question, I really don’t know. I know for me personally, bad behavior is bad behavior, whether you are educated or not. I know folks that literally grew up with not much better than dirt floors, but they had good home-training.
DreamsMaterialize
January 24th, 2011
11:57 am
we(all females) get lump in and label because of their foolishness.
Kym wasn’t the guys who labeled them this morning. Besides, I thought I already told you last week that you stand apart. Imma need you start listening to me. lol
Purple Rain
January 24th, 2011
11:59 am
Cliff Notes please so I can know where I stand on the issue with the guys? LOL
DreamsMaterialize
January 24th, 2011
12:01 pm
Hootrattiness is a state of mind. Look at “New New” from the movie “ATL.”
ARed yeah but why does the state of mind have to be associated with poor people? poor people gotta take the label, even when it’s other people doing dumb shyyyyyt. Can we change the term to Estate-rat…just for blog purposes?
Kym-Yeah uh huh you know what it is...
January 24th, 2011
12:01 pm
@Dreams..yeah I know I do my best to be the best “square” peg I can be…LOL
kimmie
January 24th, 2011
12:01 pm
Kym – All I can say is keep hope alive(since we doing Jesse today, lol) and do YOU. I stopped LONG time ago listening to what men claim they don’t like or want, yet run these very same women down! Yes, they not only lump us all in the same category, but don’t know how to take it when they meet one of us that doesn’t fit that category! Yes, it defies logic!
Do Kym and someone will appreciate Kym for just who Kym is!
AmazonRed™ - Aaron Rodgers is that dude!
January 24th, 2011
12:01 pm
I know folks that literally grew up with not much better than dirt floors, but they had good home-training.
There it is…
Celisea
January 24th, 2011
12:03 pm
but why does the state of mind have to be associated with poor people? poor people gotta take the label, even when it’s other people doing dumb shyyyyyt.
Yeah cause there are so many so called smart chicks that make the dumbest moves but won’t call it such because they feel they’re above it. Yep yep yep
SexyCool
January 24th, 2011
12:03 pm
Dan – Did you mean “intimiDated”?
Just asking…I know your vocabulary is far more extensive than mine.
Purple Rain
January 24th, 2011
12:04 pm
Who lumps all women in one category? We know what category to put a woman in as soon as we met her and act accordingly. LOL
AmazonRed™ - Aaron Rodgers is that dude!
January 24th, 2011
12:04 pm
yeah but why does the state of mind have to be associated with poor people?
Because like it or not, there are certain types of behavior that can come from certain types of lifestyles, poor or rich.
Dan - Simply...Superior
January 24th, 2011
12:05 pm
Come on blog monster, post it….
@SC
Athritis is no joke
SlimNumeroUno
January 24th, 2011
12:06 pm
‘If we’re just starting to go out with you, we have no idea how slutty you may or may not be. Like the Boy Scouts taught us: be prepared.’
I’m swiss – You always deliver.
kimmie
January 24th, 2011
12:06 pm
Book sense does not always equal common sense or street smarts! Come on, yall know that!
Celisea
January 24th, 2011
12:07 pm
The biggests sluts I’ve seen have been those educated…sorry but it’s true.
Purple Rain
January 24th, 2011
12:08 pm
Home training, but it some cases that does not always stick or the parents maybe be a loose end themselves.