Will you need a prenup?
A couple got engaged over the holidays and the topic of a prenup came up recently. People seem to have varying opinions on what prenups “represent” and how it reflects on the relationship. I would not have problems signing one – after having a lawyer look it over, of course; and I don’t believe it means that you are expecting the marriage not to last.
A lot of single women are earning more money than the men they marry so I think prenups have become less taboo to women. If you have a problem bringing up the topic of prenups, you probably shouldn’t be getting married.
It’s probably not a romantic or “fairy tale” part of being engaged but at the very least, the question can be addressed to find out where your partner stands. How do you know if you need a prenup? Would you have a problem signing one? How do you broach the subject?
At what point do you talk about your income with someone you are dating? Or should you bring it up at all prior to getting engaged?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Blog
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166 comments Add your comment
i'm swiss™
January 19th, 2011
1:42 pm
2 ho’s leave ATL on a train traveling west at 65mph. Their pimp leaves ATL 30 mins later on a train traveling west at 80mph. If I short both ho’s & jump off the train in Birmingham, how long before their pimp whips my azz…?
Poppa Grande
January 19th, 2011
1:46 pm
PR…
Family law is state by state. Generally, the Federal gov’t has refused to partake in this area.
As for your hypo, only one of the “apples of your eye” will be considered your wife. Usually the first one. Polygamy is frowned upon in all states, and outlawed in most. This is one area where the fed gov’t has poked its nose into family law. The first apple of your eye to say “i do” is your wife and marital property would apply. The other ones are just random apples of your eye and the marital debt doesn’t apply to them….lol
Purple Rain
January 19th, 2011
1:48 pm
Swiss, I think the pimp will whip the ho’s azz and not yours.(Different Laws since you made it to Alabama, if you were still in ATL the pimp would whip you and the ho’s) Bish better have his money. LOL
Poppa Grande
January 19th, 2011
1:48 pm
@Suisse
are you taking into account that you lose an hour when you cross the state line. if so, 45mins.
If not…1:45
Purple Rain
January 19th, 2011
1:48 pm
Poppa, I don’t love them ho’s….LOL
Leggs
January 19th, 2011
1:49 pm
@PR ~ even if you open it up individually, if monies are put in the account that would otherwise take away from the household, it can be attached to the divorce decree.
Purple Rain
January 19th, 2011
1:51 pm
Bank accounts. We both have individual accounts, one household account that we share and one savings account that we share. We are both responsible for contributing to our joint savings account and the household bill account. But we both have our own individual savings and checking accounts. I don’t care what she does with her money. We both have an amount to what we are supposed to put into the household bill account and our joint savings accounts.
Purple Rain
January 19th, 2011
1:51 pm
Leggs, not in this state…but that is nothing I have to worry about anyway.
Leggs
January 19th, 2011
1:51 pm
@PNik ~ I like him/her accounts and one joint account for household expenses. If I made more $$ than my hubby, then I would put a higher percentage than he into the joint account, then a certain % in my account to do with as I please. Hopefully, if he made more than I, he would do the same.
BlueThrash
January 19th, 2011
1:52 pm
@Princess – in my last marriage I had everything held jointly (except credit cards and car loans) and had to do one of those “OMG” runs to the bank the day I discovered he was stepping out…he could have cleaned me out if he had not been such an idiot. Next time around, I will keep virtually everything in my own name and maybe have one small joint account for shared expenses. The thing is, we live together now and I pay all of the household bills and he takes care of himself – by this arrangement he was able to get himself out of all of his divorce debt and is now saving money so he can marry me – so I am not sure we even need a joint account as I intend to continue to pay the household bills after marriage. Don’t get me wrong, he pays for some household expenses on occasion – like getting the dog out of the kennel after a vacation – but as I am the one with the money I normally pay for things like food, utilities, vacations, etc.
Poppa Grande
January 19th, 2011
1:58 pm
PR
I said nothing about love..I just said “apples of your eye”.
Leggs
January 19th, 2011
2:01 pm
Hmmmmmm…..
BlackMagicWoman
January 19th, 2011
2:01 pm
BLUE THRASH it seems like you are a great learner from your mistakes. My parents have a joint account…but they both have separate bank accounts and credit cards to do their own thing with…just as long as the majority of their money goes to the joint account to take care of household expenses. My dad is a better shopper than my mom so he does all the grocery shopping. Mom pays all the bills and makes sure that things run smoothly. But they both laugh at each other when they shop for clothes or shoes and then try to hide it from one another.
PURPLE & SWISS…you get a time out!
You guys are nuts!
Purple Rain
January 19th, 2011
2:05 pm
Poppa, I do like apples
Black, nuts? LOL
Purple Rain
January 19th, 2011
2:07 pm
Swiss and I are true players!
Simple Man!!!
January 19th, 2011
2:13 pm
WOW!!! Deep topic today!!! This is a BIG ASS bridge that I hoe to never have to cross!!!
BTW…Whats up Peeps!!!!
Purple Rain
January 19th, 2011
2:15 pm
Simple I agree don’t let a hoe cross that bridge
Simple Man!!!
January 19th, 2011
2:20 pm
LOL…. Whats good PR??? How is tha Minn. Winter treating you?
PrincessNik
January 19th, 2011
2:20 pm
Cee-lo
you are off the chain today
Purple Rain
January 19th, 2011
2:23 pm
Simple man it’s colder than a witches tit. But I am loving the snow and hunting
Purple Rain
January 19th, 2011
2:24 pm
Princess, no chain can contain me. LOL, they better try a choke collar
BlackMagicWoman
January 19th, 2011
2:25 pm
Man..I am staying OFF the Marriage Train to Hell!
PrincessNik
January 19th, 2011
2:25 pm
it’s colder than a witches tit
Cee-lo, my dad used to say that all the time
Simple Man!!!
January 19th, 2011
2:25 pm
Hunting elk like Sara Palin???
Purple Rain
January 19th, 2011
2:28 pm
We are smack dab in the middle of trapping season too. Beaver, Mink and Muskrat. We can still shoot fox though along with rabbits and badgers!
Purple Rain
January 19th, 2011
2:32 pm
Simple Man, sometimes the big cats will stray out but they are elusive during the winters. We shoot coyotes daily or whenever we see them on the land. We let the wolves live as they help control the coyote population. Turkey season is up next then bear season followed by Elk and Moose Season
Purple Rain
January 19th, 2011
2:33 pm
Black, great marriages are out there. Just make sure you have NO reservations at all, wanting a pre nup is a big reservation to me. LOL
Simple Man!!!
January 19th, 2011
2:37 pm
So Purple went all the way to Minnesota the hunt Beaver??? LOL
Seems you you have some real Man vs. Wild ish going on up there!!! I would love to try that with you, but Don’t think they let you hunt with a glock .40
DreamsMaterialize
January 19th, 2011
2:39 pm
Man..I am staying OFF the Marriage Train to Hell!
*Dreams now pulling up in his custom Single Sports Coupe that only goes to Paradise*
BMW jump in!
Purple Rain
January 19th, 2011
2:40 pm
Simple Man you could hunt with it if you wanted to, but if you are close enough to an Elk, Moose our Bear that Glock .40 is not going to stop it in it’s tracks. LOL Better to have a Long Rigle for hunting and a semi auto for protection from snakes, cats and wolves. LOL
BlueThrash
January 19th, 2011
2:41 pm
@Purple Rain – I hear ya, but I believe that the flip side is true and that someone who doesn’t want to sign a pre-nup is the one with the reservations and makes me wonder why exactly he wants to marry me…love or money? I have worked my fanny to the bone to have a successful career and financial security. I am a very generous person, especially with people I love – including my BF, whom I spoil terribly – but I also came close to losing some of it once and knowing that reality can creep in and destroy fairy-tales I would never again marry someone without a pre-nup in place to protect mine and my son’s financial security and future. I trust my BF with my life…but I also know that people can change and that someday he may no longer be someone I can trust.
Purple Rain
January 19th, 2011
2:42 pm
Dreams, she is crazy she said she is #1 on yesterday’s list. Be careful LOL
Purple Rain
January 19th, 2011
2:43 pm
Blue Thrash, you have to do what works for you
DreamsMaterialize
January 19th, 2011
2:45 pm
Dreams, she is crazy she said she is #1 on yesterday’s list. Be careful
Purp In that case I need to switch to the Singles Rocket, so I get to “Paradise” in two minutes. hahaha
SlimNumeroUno
January 19th, 2011
2:46 pm
Howdy folks…..
BlueThrash
January 19th, 2011
2:46 pm
“so I get to “Paradise” in two minutes”
Dude, pace yourself. LOL
DreamsMaterialize
January 19th, 2011
2:54 pm
Dude, pace yourself. LOL
Naw BlueT if she’s a #1 like Purp said, then I need to get in and get out…two, dos, deux minutes! lol
i'm swiss™
January 19th, 2011
2:55 pm
Purple / PG — Good try… but actually, it was a trick question. The correct answer is: NEVER! ‘Cos I would beat that pimp down!
DreamsMaterialize
January 19th, 2011
2:56 pm
SlimWashington what’s good? thanks for gracing us with your presence today.
Purple Rain
January 19th, 2011
2:56 pm
Dreams, that is a great plan. I didn’t say she was #1 crazy she did herself out of all thing things on that list she choose #1 lol
Slim, hello
Purple Rain
January 19th, 2011
2:57 pm
Swiss, you are such a pimp.
SlimNumeroUno
January 19th, 2011
3:00 pm
SlimWASHINGTON??? — Dreams, did I miss something? Fill me in please
Purp – have you been staying out of trouble? I haven’t been in here much lately.
DreamsMaterialize
January 19th, 2011
3:04 pm
SlimWASHINGTON??? — Dreams, did I miss something? Fill me in please
NumeroUno…Washington on the $1 bill. lol
Purple Rain
January 19th, 2011
3:04 pm
Slim, yes I have been staying out of trouble.
BlackMagicWoman
January 19th, 2011
3:20 pm
DREAMS…..you know that car is rented. Take it back!
BLUE…I feel you girl. Do what’s best for you and your son. Everything else is secondary! I’d do the same thing if I were in your shoes.
PURPLE… you know I was kidding bruh! I am closer to #7 (sensitive) than anything.
SlimNumeroUno
January 19th, 2011
3:21 pm
Dreams… – ooooooooooooo, now I gotcha. A little slow I am. lol
Purple Rain
January 19th, 2011
3:23 pm
Black, well in that case give me some
Y'all Are Kids
January 19th, 2011
3:25 pm
people that don’t understand the need for a pre-nup, either don’t have anything, or are ignorant to the societal changes in the last 50 years. Woman can vote now, right?
Purple Rain
January 19th, 2011
3:33 pm
Really? You are single aren’t you.
DreamsMaterialize
January 19th, 2011
3:38 pm
DREAMS…..you know that car is rented. Take it back!
BMW nuh uhhhh this is all mine. what’s wrong…scrrrrrrd? lol
Dreams… – ooooooooooooo, now I gotcha. A little slow I am.
slim naw you good. it wasn’t all that obvious…actually probably kinda wack. lol