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Bad dating habits you should change this year

I got a stern talking to from my male friends about the bad dating habits that I, and apparently women in Atlanta, should stop immediately. I did not like hearing it. I’m still a little bit salty about the “male intervention” but I promised I would do a dating blog PSA. Perhaps a little tough love could make a difference!

Bad habit #1 Comparing men to your father. Good or bad. Some women adore their fathers and want their men to spoil them like Dad did/does. Then there are women who had awful fathers and believe all men are just like their no-good fathers. Regardless, the men you date should not be unfairly compared or harshly judged by unrealistic expectations. The truth is, all Dads are men/human so they made/make mistakes too.

Bad habit# 2 Judging men by where they are in life. My friends tell me that men feel a huge amount of pressure to be successful. Men won’t go around broadcasting to women that they had setbacks in their past. Who knows what they have already endured to get where they are already? Stop scrutinizing so-called “shortcomings” and focus on character and compatibility.

Bad habit# 3 Let sex get in the way. Women spend too much time stressing on the right/wrong time. Men appreciate a woman who is confident in her choice and respect your decision. Make your choice but don’t play games.

These were the top three bad habits that my friends thinks women should change. What do you think? Would changing these bad habits make a difference for women?

Do you have any bad dating habits that you wish single people would drop?

360 comments Add your comment

SlimNumeroUno

January 18th, 2011
8:22 am

We’re baaaaaaaack! Dang Diva, I was at least hoping to engage in some bootlegg blogging yesterday but yall even took that away. :-(

SlimNumeroUno

January 18th, 2011
8:44 am

‘Do you have any bad dating habits that you wish single people would drop?’

Being dishonest about what it is you are looking for or want. If you aren’t looking for a potential serious type relationship and I’ve told you that’s what I want, don’t lie about wanting the same thing just to kick it.

If you’re married, separated but still married, have a girlfriend, living with a chick, still kicking with your baby mama then keep it moving. Don’t come up with all these fibs to explain away the situation to play it down in hopes that I will give you some.

Simple Man!!!!

January 18th, 2011
8:51 am

Morning Slim1……

PrincessNik

January 18th, 2011
8:57 am

Being dishonest about what it is you are looking for or want. If you aren’t looking for a potential serious type relationship and I’ve told you that’s what I want, don’t lie about wanting the same thing just to kick it.

@ Slim~ and there it is!!

Good Morning!

SlimNumeroUno

January 18th, 2011
8:59 am

SM – Morning buddy!!

So since you and PN are the only ones in here, what did yall do while we were all snowed in?

PrincessNik

January 18th, 2011
9:05 am

Slim

Cleaned, played the wii, read, caught up wit my DVR movies and tv shows…………..

Simple Man!!!!

January 18th, 2011
9:11 am

Slim…Sat in front of the fire and relaxed!!! Since I was alone when he storm hit, I was forced to go it alone!!!

Simple Man!!!!

January 18th, 2011
9:12 am

How about you Slim???

Leggs

January 18th, 2011
9:20 am

Good morning.

@SlimNU ~ I too was hoping for a bootleg blog day yesterday. The day took forever to end w/o any form of blogging! I think I need a blog intervention!!

Bad dating habits: Low tolerance! I received a call last night from a man I met about 2 weeks ago. I couldn’t understand one freaking word he said. When I asked if he was drunk he got offended and talked more jibberish. I asked him to not call me again when he’s in whatever state he was in. I told him I was hanging up and he started wimpering…WTF. I looked at the phone and hung it up. Another one bites the dust…

Mo (aka Moeisha)

January 18th, 2011
9:25 am

Hey Ladies, I see ya’ll are holding the fort down.

While snowed in – worked from home, helped Lil Mo with homework, cooked, cleaned, played some games w Lil Mo and watched some PBS shows (I really like Sid the Science Kid)…..

SlimOne – “If you’re married, separated but still married, have a girlfriend, living with a chick, still kicking with your baby mama then keep it moving.” Co-signing 100%! I always get a kick out the guys who date but are separated…WTH???

Delight23...icicles no more

January 18th, 2011
9:31 am

Good morning peoples!! Happy New Year…okay said that a few weeks back but goodness it feels like I’m starting over once again. Last week just got me all discombobulated.

Bad dating habit I would like to see dropped: Stop freakin’ lying. Yes, I know, and people in heck want ice water.

Leggs

January 18th, 2011
9:34 am

I think there are just as many men looking for SugarMamas as there are women looking for SugarDaddys!

PrincessNik

January 18th, 2011
9:36 am

Leggs!! I agree with that!

Like Keri Hilson said (i’ll paraphrase) “you want a ride or die chick but you don’t have a car you need a walk or die chick”

:lol:

SlimNumeroUno

January 18th, 2011
9:43 am

Simple Man – I was snowed in with the Dude. We chilled by the fireplace, grilled out, drank some goose, played in the snow…chilled out :mrgreen: :oops: ;-)

PrincessNik

January 18th, 2011
9:43 am

Oh and I think that goes both ways, people expecting more from other people than they expect of themselves.

i'm swiss™

January 18th, 2011
9:46 am

Morning folks…

Hmm… Not much to say on topic, so I’ll lurk & wait for a chance to pounce with a dirty comment… :lol:

Hope everybody had a good snow break…

Leggs

January 18th, 2011
9:57 am

I’m going to go make a hot cup of tea w/lemon…anybody need anything?

Sweet Pea

January 18th, 2011
9:59 am

Good Morning and Happy New Year :)

Comparing others to an ex…She is your ex or you are her ex for a reason so if you have to keep in “constant” communication once the children are grown and gone then perhaps you should’ve remain together. It’s ok to remain friends, however if she still has a key to your house…It makes things complicated. I care not to partake in a FWB situation!!

“Take a break until you get the feelings out of your system!

Giving lip service but can’t officially deliver anything but just that! If there are no actions then it will get you dismissed!

Talking about S..E..X by making subtle innuendos during our first conversation is certainly a red flag and a turn off!

“If you’re married, separated but still married, have a girlfriend, living with a chick, still kicking with your baby mama then keep it moving.” Co-signing 100% too!!

AmazonRed™

January 18th, 2011
10:01 am

Morning all –

That’s actually a good list Diva. I have a wonderful dad, and I don’t think I compare, but I always say “they don’t make men like they used to….” so maybe I do. :lol:

I think one habit men should change is the whole, “if she doesn’t make the first move/ ask me for my number/ step to me she’s not interested” argument. There are still women who believe in a guy stepping to her, there are still women who expect a man whose interested to step to her!

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AmazonRed™

January 18th, 2011
10:11 am

Slim – Your 8:44 is the truth!!!

AmazonRed™

January 18th, 2011
10:14 am

Oooh…and another one. Stop relying on “passive” communication. If you have her phone number, use it to call! Don’t use FB, email, texting, IM, BBM or morse code more than you actually dial her!

Raqi V

January 18th, 2011
10:14 am

Yeah Leggs, you got something over there for backaches and nausea? This is supposed to be the “honeymoon” stage but a honeymoon it is not this morning. LOL

Sweet Pea

January 18th, 2011
10:15 am

@ARed…I totally agree with your post as it’s nothing wrong with the traditional way of getting acquainted. Some may feel that it’s old fashioned when in fact it’s simply the way you were raised.

M. (pronouced M dot)

January 18th, 2011
10:17 am

Good day everyone.

Wise your friend was spot on with #1 and this is an issue that I have heard before. I was out with this girl and she said her dad told her the man has to win her over, impress her, she should never pay for a date blah blah. You see where that got her. In that case, date your dad then! ;)

Also regarding #3 I totally agree also because alot of women make it all about that and in turn, they undervalue their self respect, similar interests and compatibaility with the guy etc. This is also bad for women because they build up false expectations in the physical area. The best method is to not bring it up until everyone is ready to discuss this.

Here are my top 5 dating habits that need to stop today:

1. Texting while on a date and acting uninterested in a date. If you dont want to go, dont waste his time, energy, and resources.

2. Comparing him to other men you dated/dating. Its immature and really does happen.

3. Double booking dates on the same day. Guys arent as dumb as you think. He knows if you are rushing him off to do something next.

4. Trying to pressure a guy into dating you. If you are come off thirsty, it is a turn off. Simple and plain.

5. Being to sarcastic on a date. Sarcasim has a place but theres a difference in being sarcastic and having a slick mouth with someone you dont even know. Chill!

Raqi V

January 18th, 2011
10:19 am

My opinion on the topic…

I agree that the bad habits need to cease. Especially the lying. While we all have been guilty and some here are presently guilty of not letting the true intentions be known, there comes a time when folks need to grow up and deal with what’s real.

If you are only looking to kick-it with someone let it be known. Yeah we all know doing that probably will not get you the benefits you are out to get but heck it makes life easier for all. The woman/man doesn’t get heartbroken you don’t get your tires or throat slashed.

M. (pronouced M dot)

January 18th, 2011
10:25 am

My friend made the best quote ever. “People in dating need to look in the mirror and be 100% honest with themselves about their agenda” If I know I dont want a serious relationship now, I should not date like that. If I know I dont want to be married right now, I should not date like that.

Leggs

January 18th, 2011
10:25 am

Awww, sorry to hear you’re not feeling good this morning, Raqi V!

@M. ~ I never understood why people do #1 on a date. It is rude and childish. I’d like to believe I’m on a date with you and not your BB!

I don’t understand why people “pressure” people into anything! If it has to be forced, it won’t be any fun.

Raqi V

January 18th, 2011
10:25 am

I saw the preview for the movie “No Strings Attached” last night about four times. I was thinking at first the way of mating has gone to the pits but then I said I guess it’s better to know up front the person wants nothing more than physical time with you. However we all know that someone will always catch feelings. Strings are like spider webs, you don’t always see them and you don’t know it’s there until you walk into it.

Leggs

January 18th, 2011
10:27 am

Same like giving ultimatums into getting a marriage proposal. I see no good there.

Sweet Pea

January 18th, 2011
10:35 am

@m. Your 10:25am is on point! Being honest and not having a hidden agenda will certainly control a lot of damage that is being done.

Raqi V

January 18th, 2011
10:40 am

I don’t think comparing a man to a man that you have seen live up to what a good man should be is necessarily a bad thing. There is a line that can get crossed but for the most part it’s just a matter of expecting someone to live up to a standard. Standards are based on what has already taken place. Something that has already been proven.
If we as mates and friends don’t have standards and hold each other to standards any old crap will get dumped on us.

Now no one should go around verbalizing to a man or woman that you are trying to get to know all the ways your dad did it or you mom did it. But you should at least have some type of standard in mind.

As for not judging a person before getting to know them, (yeah I added the getting to know them) I agree.

SexyCool

January 18th, 2011
10:44 am

Bad habit #1 – If your father was in your life to set an example of manhood for you, what is the problem with using that as a guideline?

Bad habit #2 – If your bad decisions to this point in your life have resulted in you dealing with several issues, what makes me think that all of a sudden you’ve seen the light and will magically begin to make better decisions? How do I know that you will not continue to apply what has been obviously flawed logic and bad judgement?

Bad habit #3 – Now that….I think I can actually agree with. In my opinion, it’s not so much about sexing too quickly. It’s more about allowing sex and emotion cloud your judgement and cause you to make bad relationship choices before you’ve done your due diligence and taken your time to learn a person. MY probationary period is applied to my heart and my head.

Kym

January 18th, 2011
10:46 am

Good Morning All,

I like that list but I think the first two applies to both sexes. While I am someone’s mama..I am not your mama and I don’t care what any man says if Joanna messed him over then every woman after Joanna is going to have to deal with the bitterness she left behind until time heals that wound.

As for me personally I know Habit #2 is my walk to overcome, because I have trust issues. I am always searching for the angle or waiting for the shoe to drop.

@Raqi..I saw the preview too and like the saying goes art imitates life..for some folks the No Strings Attached idea works.

@All Falcons fans.. I figured I would wait a full three days so you could put icy hot on your bums and drink your blues away..but Mourning period is over jokers..Ha! HA! HA!! Black and Red..yeah right..more like black and blue..back to the drawing board..Fakecons.
Whew!! that felt good!!!

SexyCool

January 18th, 2011
10:47 am

Said all of that to say, be extreme in nothing. Be cautious when necessary while at the same time knowing when to throw caution to the wind.

Know thyself. Determine your standards. Know when to compromise.

Have fun.
Love life.
Laugh lots.

SexyCool

January 18th, 2011
10:49 am

o/t – I was walking through the parking deck this morning and saw a New York & Company gift card on the ground. I walked right past it. A little voice told me to go back and pick it up. I just called to check the balance. It has $25 on the card!!!

BlackMagicWoman

January 18th, 2011
10:51 am

Being dishonest about what it is you are looking for or want. If you aren’t looking for a potential serious type relationship and I’ve told you that’s what I want, don’t lie about wanting the same thing just to kick it.

SLIM…girl…story of my life! These dudes will be quick to say that they want a relationship. Then all of a sudden..they don’t know what they want! LIARS!

LEGGS….you got a drunk call? :lol: Now that’s classic! But having low tolerance…I think is a good think. The problem has been tolerating BS! I think with each year mine hets lower. It is at -2 right now. I just cut the guy that I had been seeing off. All of a sudden you are so busy working 2 jobs and working out that you don’t have time to speak or see me. Well I made your time management a bit easier…removed myself from your schedule. Now all of a sudden you want to come texting me. Fool…stop being a punk! If you wantt o come crawling with your tail between your legs at least have the decency to call. I mean I’d be very short and dry…but oh well! Girl I am enjoying my new date rotation! :lol:

” “you want a ride or die chick but you don’t have a car you need a walk or die chick”

PRINCESS NIK….girl ain’t that the truth!?!

“Talking about S..E..X by making subtle innuendos during our first conversation is certainly a red flag and a turn off!”

SWEET PEA….you must be meeting the same jerkoffs that I have been meeting! Newsflash guys…I am NOT turned on by you telling me how hot I make you or how you want to touch and kiss me all over. In fact it makes me NOT want to talk to you at all.

“Oooh…and another one. Stop relying on “passive” communication. If you have her phone number, use it to call! Don’t use FB, email, texting, IM, BBM or morse code more than you actually dial her!

ARED…girl….I tell you these fools don’t know the art of a phone call anymore. I will start to ignore texts, BBM, email, etc. I am not a friggin’ robot and neither are you!

“If I know I dont want a serious relationship now, I should not date like that. If I know I dont want to be married right now, I should not date like that.”

M. I co-sign!

Celisea

January 18th, 2011
10:51 am

I think it depends on these men mean by “comparing.” Most times I believe men that compare are speaking to what women would view as practing standards and usually what’s getting in the way. Here’s what I think:

Being spoiled…I agree. That’s just plain silly and immature. However it’s not unrealistic to want you to do and be what you what a man should be as as a mate, what you expect from me. That would include handling your business, knowing your woman and what she likes. Knowing how to feed those likes (sometimes) “just because.” Yes, my daddy set the ultimate example of what it means to be a man. He was the head, the leader, he knew my mama and when to show appreciation for “doing her job” and doing it well. Was it her job to do? Yes. Did he owe her that? No…but he did it because she was the good wife and mother, because he knew she would appreciate being appreciated and because he knew if she would appreciate being appreciated, then she would appreciate him and all he did. No getting around that comparison. If I can’t see the same trait and characteristic and you call it comparison, then yes I guess I’m guilty.

Not being where you want…let’s see. I’m not either. I might be wrong but I don’t really believe anyone is….as long as you’re moving thought. That’s not a deal breaker though. Not moving at all but calling it something other than becomes the problem.

Sex in the way….(i.e.standards). How is living by a standard or practicing decorum is the same as letting it get in the way? The natural order of things would be to get to know someone. It’s not natural to go below the surface and then try and come back to know and understand a person.

Celisea

January 18th, 2011
10:54 am

….and men are lying if they say they don’t compare.

M. (pronouced M dot)

January 18th, 2011
10:57 am

@SweetPea
@BMW

I think thats where people mess up because they have different agendas. Her agenda may be emotional and his may be financial. Her agenda may be physical and his may be emotional. There are only 3 agendas.

1. Emotional
2. Financial
3. Phyisical

Leggs

January 18th, 2011
10:58 am

MY probationary period is applied to my heart and my head.

I like!

@BMW ~ I agree with everything you just bellowed! :wink:

Beautiful

January 18th, 2011
10:58 am

happy Monday!

one thing i announce on day one is that I DATE WITH A PURPOSE! and then go about explaining what that means. smh. to my surprise it has actually kept them interested. yea… wow! it’s my way of weeding out the fwb thing. (i’m not saying there’s something wrong with that in my Seinfeld voice. LOL)

:)

Leggs

January 18th, 2011
11:05 am

@Beautiful ~ today is Tuesday!

Beautiful

January 18th, 2011
11:05 am

my fav gospel song… Bishop E Long featuring the GW’s Righteous Forsaken!!!

AmazonRed™

January 18th, 2011
11:05 am

AmazonRed™

January 18th, 2011
11:06 am

@Beautiful ~ today is Tuesday!

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Beautiful

January 18th, 2011
11:06 am

haha… thx Leggs!

Beautiful

January 18th, 2011
11:06 am

LOL! shuddup Red!!!

Raqi V

January 18th, 2011
11:08 am

Beautiful, everyone dates with a purpose (i.e. marriage, sex, companionship, etc). The problem comes when those purposes don’t match up and someone isn’t being honest about theirs.

Raqi V

January 18th, 2011
11:09 am

No such thing as dating just to be dating.

Kym

January 18th, 2011
11:14 am

“everyone dates with a purpose (i.e. marriage, sex, companionship, etc). The problem comes when those purposes don’t match up and someone isn’t being honest about theirs.”

@Raqi..I would like to second that emotion.

Raqi V

January 18th, 2011
11:15 am

Thanks Leggs. I think I need to stop moving. I have motion sickness. LOL Imma go lay down on the bed. Imma start my sleep number at 35 and adjust accordingly.

BlackMagicWoman

January 18th, 2011
11:16 am

M. Girl I agree 100% on the 3 agendas. Usually men’s agendas are physical…physical…and physical! H0rny b@stards!

CELISEA…you were blessed to have a good father. I wasn’t. It sucks because your father is your intro to men. And if it starts off wrong…well chances are there will be a bumpy road of daddy-clones that you will attract. If what they say is true about the sins of the father falling on the child, then I have quite a burden. Men like my bio-dad do not care that their actions cause the suffering of their own flesh and blood. I literally told my mother that I blame her for choosing him. Her reasons were selfish and juvenile (she liked what he looked like and said that 2 good looking people would make a pretty baby). I understand…I don’t want no ugly baby either. :lol: However…the scrapes on her knuckles prove that she scraped the bottom of the barrell to get him. :lol: Looks is all he contributed. Well that and a crapload of bad karma on his unknown amount of kids (4 daughters +). In her defense she thought I was the first born. Needless to say, every few years I get a new older sibling. I despise men like him! But yet, I tend to attrack them. Although I have been praying for the feeling of disgust to go away for him, I think I despise him as well! I am still trying to figure out what I give off to attract these losers. I have still yet to figure it out. But I have a great step-dad that came into my life late in my teens…after the damage has been done. But he does a great job of moping up the mess that sperm-donor made. So now I try to look for guys like him….hardworking and will do anything for his family and loves my mami to pieces!

2CPTG

January 18th, 2011
11:17 am

’sup…..

hmmmm, some bad dating habits that need changing….

lemme think for a minute….

Beautiful

January 18th, 2011
11:21 am

@Raqi

you’re absolutely right! thanks for clearing that up. and i’ve been lucky to have had suitors already know where i’m coming from from jump.

M. (pronouced M dot)

January 18th, 2011
11:22 am

@BMW

I dont think that Physical is always a guys agenda. I think women think that because Physical is the only bargaining chip that most women have to bring to the table so they use it to manipulate guys whenever possible ;)

i'm swiss™

January 18th, 2011
11:23 am

Wait… Isn’t M. a dude?

Leggs

January 18th, 2011
11:24 am

@Raqi ~ thought your sleep number was 65 (lol). Has it changed since you are now not alone in your own body (LOL).

M. (pronouced M dot)

January 18th, 2011
11:24 am

@BMW

Im a guy lol

Celisea

January 18th, 2011
11:24 am

Staceye – because your father is your intro to men and Men like my bio-dad do not care that their actions cause the suffering of their own flesh and blood are statements supporting exactly what we’re talking about. Men that cannot or have not or are not living up to their God given potential often (IMO) feel it’s some “attitude” that’s coming off but it’s not. Most men are not reared in today’s time to just go ahead and take the lead and are offended or put off if you require. I cannot get with this new age of wanting us to be equal in some areas but wants the lead in all other areas….either you want it or you don’t. It’s not a divided trait or characteristic….you possess or you don’t or pretending or it’s half azzedness and when you’re told, you’re offended. As humans we are equal but by gender you (the man) have the lead.

M. (pronouced M dot)

January 18th, 2011
11:25 am

Also the Chicago Bears are going to the Super Bowl and will win it all!

Beautiful

January 18th, 2011
11:26 am

the internet dating gets two thumbs up from me, because men have a chance to read you before they step to you. so my above comment… i haven’t been lucky per se, just them doing their homework.

Sweet Pea

January 18th, 2011
11:29 am

@BMW…Perhaps these jerkoffs think we’re all alike because of the kind of women they’ve encountered. Some of us have standards so what’s good for the gander may not be good for some gooses!! Dating seems to be devalued now days with emailing, FB, phone calls under the influence, texting, and any other effortless act! LOL

Beautiful

January 18th, 2011
11:30 am

:( i agree! *Physical is the only bargaining chip that most women have to bring to the table so they use it to manipulate guys whenever possible.*

Leggs

January 18th, 2011
11:31 am

“Physical is the only bargaining chip that most women have to bring to the table” ~ Damn, that’s a very low opinion you have of women.

M. (pronouced M dot)

January 18th, 2011
11:34 am

@Leggs

I didnt say all women! Everybody knows someone who has a man who is whipped!

Leggs

January 18th, 2011
11:38 am

@Beautiful – stop agreeing (LOL)!

CoolShadow

January 18th, 2011
11:38 am

Do you have any bad dating habits that you wish single people would drop?

Stop the extrapolation and stretching of truth. Sort of a play on Bad Habit #2. While being a fund manager and bank teller are categorically similar in that they involve financial transactions with other people’s money, they’re really quite different. If you’re a bank teller, say you’re a bank teller and stop trying to swag it like a fund manager. State what/where you are before you tell people what/where you want to be.

Acknowledge your flaws and imperfections. The dissolution of previous relationships may not have been your total undoing, but you had a hand in it because you were in it. Don’t try to brag on your ability to pull yet always be the victim when things go south. I realize you’re not perfect but you’re not completely faultless either. Some of it was your fault too, like maybe your selectivity (or lack thereof)…

Know where you stand with the other person. Two dates does not mean you get access to my inner circle or become my most trusted confidante. If you’re not sure, ask. Otherwise, exhibit patience and be aware because sometimes just by observing you can get answers to questions that you never asked.

Raqi V

January 18th, 2011
11:40 am

Usually men’s agendas are physical…physical…and physical! H0rny b@stards!

LOL BlackMagic. That statement is true. But let’s be fair, it’s not all they want. However they aren’t really interested in a relationship without.

They are funny like that. They don’t necessary have to be in a relationship to get sex but they definitely aren’t trying to be in one without it. LOL

Leggs

January 18th, 2011
11:40 am

Leggs

January 18th, 2011
11:43 am

@CoolShadow ~ your 3rd paragraph is on point. Let the relationship marinate before you try moving in! Slow down and enjoy. Pressure right off the back will have you looking at my peephole from outside! (So glad olem isn’t here to run with this).

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
11:43 am

Bad dating habit that needs to stop

Stop making the next person pay for what the last person did to you.

BlackMagicWoman

January 18th, 2011
11:45 am

RAQI….did I miss something? Did the rabbit die again? :shock:

M. well I for one do not use my physical as a bargining chip. But for some reason…guys do look past my physical to see that! I don’t hoochi-fy (yes I said hoochi-fy) myself in order to attract men. But yet and still my physical becomes a hurdle that always trips me up and lands me flat on my face. Should I wear baggy sweats and not comb my hair and groom myself inorder to be see as a person? :lol:

Raqi V

January 18th, 2011
11:49 am

Leggs, it normally is but my back hurts today. I don’t really know why but it does. The little bean is only a little over 6 oz. according to my sonogram yesterday which is not really enough to be putting a strain on my back already.

Maybe picking up that 23 pounder is making my back hurt.

Raqi V

January 18th, 2011
11:50 am

did I miss something? Did the rabbit die again?

That darn rabbit ran out in traffic on purpose. LOL

Leggs

January 18th, 2011
11:51 am

Question: If you started talking with someone fairly regularly and then the phone convos stopped, would you ask why the interest died or would you simply K.I.M.?

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
11:54 am

Leggs, I would ask what happened

Leggs

January 18th, 2011
11:54 am

Yep, that 23 pounder may have something to do with it…be careful!

Raqi V

January 18th, 2011
12:03 pm

Leggs, had that happen a few times. A couple I asked what happened with no response. One or two I just didn’t bother. I guess it’s just part of the whole dating dance.

You wonder though would you rather hear “hey I don’t think this is working” / “I don’t like you as much as I thought I would” or would you rather they just do the disappearing act.

One thing I can say is the disappearing act creates some uncomfortable situations when you just happen to bump into each other one day. The one who went missing tries not to make eye contact with other. LOL Very. Awkward. I am guilty.

Beautiful

January 18th, 2011
12:04 pm

keep it moving! dealing with a guy now who i believe had me as an option kinda. he seemed sincere with spending time, but since he is a social butterfly he could never find “the time”. i don’t hate or dislike him. i just let him fade. i believe that since he is newly divorced he is having a good time being single. he knows I DATE WITH A PURPOSE so why bother with me, which makes good sense to me. he is doing the right thing by leaving me alone. i’m dating someone else now, but if i’m avail when he is ready… we can start over.

Beautiful

January 18th, 2011
12:06 pm

is it bad to leave doors open? hmmmm…

Leggs

January 18th, 2011
12:08 pm

@Raqi V ~ I guess it’s just part of the whole dating dance.

YEP!

Leggs

January 18th, 2011
12:12 pm

@Beautiful ~ if it’s the bathroom door when in use YES!

DreamsMaterialize

January 18th, 2011
12:13 pm

Bad habit #1 Comparing men to your father.
The problem with this is that it’s not an apples to apples comparison. Women know their fathers as fathers, not mates/husbands. So, it’s not quite the same.

Bad habit# 2 Judging men by where they are in life.
A woman will only do this if she feels you’re worse off than she is. Otherwise, she’s not qualified to judge. Really who cares though? Feel free to judge me openly…that way I can cut my losses early.

Bad habit# 3 Let sex get in the way.
Hmmmm maybe women wouldn’t do this if some men wouldn’t stress it so much. If you focus on getting it, then she’ll focus on keeping it from you.

Beautiful

January 18th, 2011
12:14 pm

LOL! i meant for men to come back.

BlackMagicWoman

January 18th, 2011
12:16 pm

RAQI…congrats mommy-to-be again! Be very careful about how you are picking Lizzy up please!

LEGGS…keep it moving! That is what happened with me and the guy. Now that I ignore him…here he comes texting me. Nah ninja! You thought I was going to chase you! I put my sneakers on and ran the other way!

BEAUTIFUL…Doors are meant to be closed! I realized if a guy turns to leave, but still tries to keep a foot in the doorway…slam it on his foot until he moves it and shut the door! Oh yeah…and lock all the locks so this fool can’t get back in! Don’t allow him to keep you as the fall-back chick. If he doesn’t see anything else better or it’s not working the way he wants it to with some other girl…he wants to keep the door open so he can slide back in. It’s a game show….once you choose the prize behind the curtain, you can’t then switch for the original prize! Not here sucka! :lol:

Celisea

January 18th, 2011
12:17 pm

Doors left opened? Depends.

As a fallback, no…gotta want more/better for yourself.

As something that has potential but maybe timing/life events in the way? Yes, maybe.

Beautiful

January 18th, 2011
12:20 pm

thx Staceye! lol.

i feel ya… *As something that has potential but maybe timing/life events in the way?*

BlackMagicWoman

January 18th, 2011
12:22 pm

Hmmmm maybe women wouldn’t do this if some men wouldn’t stress it so much. If you focus on getting it, then she’ll focus on keeping it from you.

DREAMS….amen brotha!

Handsome1

January 18th, 2011
12:22 pm

Good afternoon everyone, I have an honest question if he has all that you are looking for the emotional, physical and financial why do women constantly try to pick a man apart rather than accepting him for who he is, thats IF you truly know what you want?

Leggs

January 18th, 2011
12:23 pm

@Beautiful ~ I knew what you meant!

Leggs

January 18th, 2011
12:25 pm

@Handsome1 ~ I don’t understand. If he truly has all she’s looking forw, she wouldn’t be picking him apart. Something apparently is still missing for her!

Handsome1

January 18th, 2011
12:27 pm

I felt that she still has issues but i wanted to overlook them

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
12:31 pm

Leggs, some women will. Do not forget “the friend factor” LOL or that he has to look good on paper

Celisea

January 18th, 2011
12:31 pm

Handsome1 – I have an honest question if he has all that you are looking for the emotional, physical and financial why do women constantly try to pick a man apart rather than accepting him for who he is, thats IF you truly know what you want?

Really Handsome1, we’re at odds on this thing about this all the time. Men feel one way about themselves that obviously women don’t get and vice versa. So, if I may…..ask her directly if ya’ll language is the same. Ask her if she recognizes that fact that you possess all of these qualities….see what she says. Your read and hers may not be the same. You could be right but how about open honest dialog. You might be surprised at what she reads in what you’re projecting. I bet each of us will say we read one way but someone else outside of ourselves will say otherwise.

Raqi V

January 18th, 2011
12:31 pm

Leggs, yeah I know. The next time I am at Target I am going to look for a step stool so I don’t have to pick her up to put her in the chair. I am going to start changing her diaper on the floor. That will work until it takes me 5 minutes to get down there and 10 minutes to get up. LOL

I have been sitting her on the potty. That’s a looooooong process. LOL

Raqi V

January 18th, 2011
12:37 pm

BlackMagic and Dreams, I agree. Some guys talk all that crap about the cashmere kitty not being a very desired commodity for them yet they spent so much time and effort trying to get to know her.

I think it was…danggit I can’t remember who that was but it was one of the guys on here…he was talking about women put too much value on the cashmere. I and a few of the other women told him Nah it’s you menfolk that puts the value on it when you get all stupid trying to get it.

That particular blogger was trying to discredit the value and say women should give it up more and more freely. Just the way he was going at it raised the value by 105%. LOL

Handsome1

January 18th, 2011
12:44 pm

@ celisea

we talk openly i let her know where i stand (busines owner, own home, no kids last serious relatioship in 2005) and why i dont just date any woman (club hoppers, cyberpimping) we agreed, we enjoyed each others time, i told her im not in a hurry (33 on christmas eve),

She feels i judge her beacuse she has 2 kids (whom i do more for than their own dad) she asked my input on her sons i gave it now she is kind of hostile, so i fell back

Handsome1

January 18th, 2011
12:46 pm

I called her and she says i act too nonchalant?

CoolShadow

January 18th, 2011
12:46 pm

@Handsome1
To answer your question from one male’s perspective, some women don’t really know what they want even though they say they do. It seems as if women can compile lists of deal breakers much quicker and longer than lists of desirable qualities. Some women follow trends and girlfriends’ advice rather than establishing her personal relationship benchmarks and standards. And some women don’t know when to end the vetting process and to let trust and evidence of reasonable behavior of the potential mate to take over, i.e., it’s easier for them to do nothing or constantly hold back rather than take the chance to explore things further.

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
12:47 pm

Handsome, interesting predicament. I have no advice on the situation except if you love her and you think she loves you back…Make it work somehow.

Celisea

January 18th, 2011
12:48 pm

Well Handsome1, from your 12:44 sounds to me you’re doing the right thing. Did you fallback because of her attitude about her sons or did ya’ll have open free flow dialog? Let her tell you where she sees things differently and you do the same. If it’s just the issue of her kids, then yeah maybe that’s a problem because if ya’ll are gonna be together but her kids or your input will be a problem….I dunno

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
12:50 pm

CoolShadow, great post @ 12:46

Raqi V

January 18th, 2011
12:51 pm

Handsome1, the problem is you waited too long to ask a question and you asked they wrong question. LOL

You should have been asking if you should be catching her child up in the collar. LOL I would have told you that she will not like it despite given you the okay to do so.

But seriously, when that type of question is asked I tend to think the person is probably thinking more highly of themselves than they ought. Some people tend to think just because they are in position of certain traits or tangible items they are a great catch and should be accepted with no questions asked. That is not the truth. There is something less desirable about all of us and because you have whatever and is with her does not mean your crap does not stink in her nostrils.

(I didn’t proofread so I hope that all makes sense.)

Celisea

January 18th, 2011
12:52 pm

CoolShadow – I agree….some women….NOT ALL. Maybe that’s not the case for him. Maybe that’s been your experience. If it’s worth making it work then nothing better than communicating and getting it all out there. You NEVER know how many times things unspoken can be the demise of a good thing. It could all very well be petty stuff and just her not knowing a good man but wouldn’t it seem fair if they communicated? After that, and it still doesn’t work, he’s seems to be man enough and big enough to do the needful….whatever that is for him.

Celisea

January 18th, 2011
12:54 pm

But seriously, when that type of question is asked I tend to think the person is probably thinking more highly of themselves than they ought. Some people tend to think just because they are in position of certain traits or tangible items they are a great catch and should be accepted with no questions asked. That is not the truth. There is something less desirable about all of us and because you have whatever and is with her does not mean your crap does not stink in her nostrils.

….AND THIS IS WHY I ASKED….did you ask HER opinion and outlook on how she views you. On what you call accomplished or “possessing it all”….maybe in her eyes it’s not quite all you think or think you’re projecting.

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
12:57 pm

Well, I guess everything is up to the man again. LOL

Leggs

January 18th, 2011
12:57 pm

@Handsome1 ~ do you think she’s using you because you are financially sound? She asks your thoughts re her son and then catch an attitude with you. You fall back and now you’re nonchalant. I’ll tell you this, she’ll probably pay you a little more attention due to you being nonchalant. Women don’t like being ignored.

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
12:58 pm

Has anyone talked trash about the Lucky Falcants yet?

Celisea

January 18th, 2011
12:58 pm

PR – Get off the FalCANS

Raqi V

January 18th, 2011
12:59 pm

And sweetie…honey…boo if her little “display of hostility” makes you fall back that easy, you two probably aren’t meant for each other. The one about men is they can hear you (us women) and don’t hear. LOL I am laughing but I am serious.

I can get upset about something and the hub will sit there watching TV and pay me no attention. Women are just emotional like that, especially when it comes to our little ones. And it don’t even matter when the guy is the father. I don’t know exactly what it is she did, but expressing some type of hostility is no reason for you to bounce. ‘Cause sweetie-darling that will not be the last time.

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
12:59 pm

Why, they are watching the playoffs just like me. LOL

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
1:00 pm

sweetie honey boo sweeting darling. LOL

Raqi V

January 18th, 2011
1:01 pm

constantly try to pick a man apart

Handsome1, you have yet to show where she did this. Or maybe I missed one of your comments.

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
1:02 pm

Sometimes you do have to let a woman have her little tantrums, just don’t feed into them or give her that much energy. Or you can always knock her up so that you two have a baby together and then you can get emotional with HER about that kid.

Celisea

January 18th, 2011
1:02 pm

Why, they are watching the playoffs just like me. LOL

That was funny….you are bad today I see. FalCANS, FalCANS. I was stressing so Saturday night….man, don’t take me back to that dark place today.

BlackMagicWoman

January 18th, 2011
1:05 pm

I can’t remember who that was but it was one of the guys on here…he was talking about women put too much value on the cashmere. I and a few of the other women told him Nah it’s you menfolk that puts the value on it when you get all stupid trying to get it.

RAQI…I forgot who it was. ButI was the one going on saying that if it werent so valuable then why were many battles started over a woman and why do men lie, scheme and do all kinds of things just to get it? It’s like come on fool….don’t try the reverse psychology on me! It will not work!

CoolShadow….although I have had a couple of Annual 21st B-days. I am not 21 and what I learned through the few years after 21 is: what I want, what I DON’T want, what I will stand for and what I WON’T stand for. Hence the reason my patience and BS tolerance is nill!

Oh yeah and GO JETS!!!!!!!! WHOOOOOO how about that Sanch-ize? :lol:

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
1:05 pm

I know what the real problem is with Handsome1’s relationship. She just haven’t given him any in the last few days and when us men are used to it regularly and then we don’t get it for a few days we react differently. Some of us hold out and some of us find stuff and make it a big issue when it is really not an issue. LOL

Seriously, if you to live together and you take care of the kids you should have a say so. If not don’t say anything or just stop doing whatever it is you are doing for the kids. When she asked why tell her no say no pay. There your problem is solved

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
1:07 pm

I am pulling for the Bears or the Packers. LOL

Raqi V

January 18th, 2011
1:07 pm

did you ask HER opinion and outlook on how she views you

Celisea, exactly. And it’s not so much as how she views what he has accomplished but more so of those accomplishments does not automatically make you a great catch. Some women think they have a great guy because he has this, that and the other in tangible items but when it comes to relating with the opposite sex he doesn’t have what it take.

That’s no different than a woman with a pretty face and paying her own way not automatically being good girlfriend material. It just doesn’t work like that.

It kinda reeks of the “you should feel privileged to be with me” syndrome.

DreamsMaterialize

January 18th, 2011
1:08 pm

Raqi that discussion about the value of puddy…was that the same one about “old puddy at new puddy prices”? That might have been Truth if I remember correctly. Dudes do drive the value up on some ol bs.

handy the kids are always a tricky matter to navigate. Women are always defensive about their kids, and rightfully so. You can’t entrust your kids’ well-being to just anyone. So, even with a righteous cat, they will have some misgivings initially. Those misgivings subside over time as you show and prove that you’re the man for the job. If you want to be with her (and her kid), then keep doing your job and she’ll eventually let go of those hostilities you talked about.

Raqi V

January 18th, 2011
1:08 pm

LOL BlackMagic You are correct, it was you that was stomping them out.

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
1:09 pm

Find a woman with no kids.

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
1:10 pm

LOL at the womens side of the story about men putting values on sex when women do the exact same thing….even more so than men.

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
1:11 pm

old puddy ant new puddy prices. LOL, that is funny.

CoolShadow

January 18th, 2011
1:11 pm

@Celisea

Point taken, I should’ve used the qualifier, “some women”, because I wasn’t trying to say all women in my 12:46.

M. (pronouced M dot)

January 18th, 2011
1:13 pm

@Handsome1

The answer to your question is simple. Alot of women are so used to losing that they dont know when they are winning.

Raqi V

January 18th, 2011
1:14 pm

Nah DreamsM, it wasn’t Truth. That old versus new is all crap just the same but it wasn’t him. I think I remember who it was now.

And on this -> So, even with a righteous cat…heck even with the child’s dad. I spank Elizabet for something a least once a week and I mean what I say and do. But her dad has spanked her maybe twice in all her life and it broke my heart. But that’s just how it is. I didn’t fuss with him about it because he is her dad and he was right for doing it but most mothers have that tender spot when it comes to their babies.

Celisea

January 18th, 2011
1:14 pm

I remember. Folks try to act all casual about the kitty and how you should casually hand it out but at the same time it’s the guage used in basing lady versus wh@re. Or, saying women try to sell old kitty at new kitty prices. That’s why (ladies) don’t listen to folks telling you to throw caution to the why and with every dude that breathes your way. They’ll be the first to sit in judgement.

Raqi – It kinda reeks of the “you should feel privileged to be with me” syndrome.

A person could potentially good mate but I agree we all have something about us that’s not so good to someone else. Getting a balance and another’s perspective just may be the eye opener needed.

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
1:14 pm

The answer is all women are crazy to some extent and you are even crazier for thinking there is a definitive way of figuring them out. LOL

CoolShadow

January 18th, 2011
1:15 pm

@BlackMagicWoman

I’m glad you’ve figured it out, but when someone takes a stance on an issue then takes an action or says something that contradicts their own so-called belief system, then I question where they really stand or what they really want.

Raqi V

January 18th, 2011
1:19 pm

Purple, you are a farm boy so you should know when a farmer is position of a lamb he can give it away at whatever price he feels he wants to. The fact that other farmers are giving theirs away for lower cost and even sometimes free has no bearing on what that one particular farmer does with his. If you want it you will only get it at his price.
The problem with a bunch of you menfolk is yall think because you can get at the piggly wiggly next to nothing, the entire market should lower its standards. Sorry…that’s not the case.

Celisea

January 18th, 2011
1:22 pm

….or because you’re not as easy to hand it out, you’re placing TOO much value on it because THEIR past experience has been someone giving it up with the quickness.

Leggs

January 18th, 2011
1:22 pm

@M. ~ you’re right!

Leggs

January 18th, 2011
1:24 pm

@Raqi V – you’re right!

@Celisea ~ you’re right too!!!!

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
1:27 pm

Raqi, I said it last week and I will say it again. You don’t have to advertise when something has a good value. A man has no problem paying top shelf prices for a top shelf product.

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
1:27 pm

Types of women to avoid:
10: The woman who is obsessed with getting married(She overlooks obvious signs of a bad guy just to get married)
9: The woman who is always looking for a fight. (Nothing is ever easy with her everything is a battle)
8: The woman who needs to be handle with glove. (To sensitive and fragile her whole life story is just how she has been hurt)
7: The woman who really needs to cover up. (Stop dressing like a teenager and dress like a lady)
6:The woman who is a constant drag. (She is always negative)
5: The woman who can’t shut up. (always talking and only sees her point of view and it is always right)
4:The woman who just takes and takes and takes( Pretty on the outside but on the inside only looking out for her own interests)
3:The woman who has nothing to say(She values others opinions over her own)
2:The women who is one big mind game(She cant decide what is good for her or not and does not know if she is coming or going)
1:The woman who is just plain evil(She comes in a normal package but as you get to know her you see the real her..she;s the kind that if heartbroken would find a way to trump up some charges and send you to prison)

M. (pronouced M dot)

January 18th, 2011
1:28 pm

@Leggs

Im just saying. I have known women who were in situations that some women would love to be in and the women who were there still werent satisfied and happy.

Turns out, most women really cant handle the guy they think they want.

My cousin took care of his wife, paid all the bills, gave her everything, and she didnt even have to work. She cheated on him and her excuse was that he always was working and never home!

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
1:30 pm

M., you know that these women on here are going to find a way to smack it up flip it rub it down to twist what you are saying. Just let them think all of dating and the worlds problems are men’s fault. LOL, just reading the blog you can see how women over thing a situation with a man. LOL

Leggs

January 18th, 2011
1:30 pm

@M. ~ I’m hearing what you’re saying. I too have seen it first hand. Women sabotage their own relationships with greed and lack of appreciation. Same way men do it!

M. (pronouced M dot)

January 18th, 2011
1:31 pm

@Purple Rain

I think you eliminated most women with this list lol

Sweet Pea

January 18th, 2011
1:31 pm

Another habit I wish would be stopped!

Calling someone Sweetie or Baby instead of their name during conversations in the getting acquainted stage. We don’t really know each other nor are we in a relationship to get that comfortable in doing so!!

Guys, what’s up with that as an inquiring mind wants to know? I asked a guy if he called everyone that and didn’t really get an answer.

Ladies, has this happened to you? What are your thoughts about it?

My thought was that it may be that you’ve talked to so many women that you’d rather call them that to avoid a slip up or perhaps this is your way of seeing how far you can go to get someone to bed!

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
1:32 pm

M., exactly…you just have to pick your poison. Cause at some point we are all going to die and I am sure that death can br traced to some women somewhere. LOL

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
1:32 pm

Battle of the sexes. Bring it!

Leggs

January 18th, 2011
1:36 pm

@M. ~ I can stand before you and proudly say I’m not on that list (LOL)!!

SexyCool

January 18th, 2011
1:38 pm

Sweet Pea – it is SO interesting that you would have a problem with that particular practice given the screen/blog name that you chose.

M. (pronouced M dot)

January 18th, 2011
1:38 pm

@Leggs

LOL true but the difference with guys is they are logical. If they in a good situation, some may mess it up, but most guys wont because its hard to find a woman who has most of what you are looking for so they know when they are winning.

I think a big problem with alot of women is they want what they see on tv rather than being happy with their situation with a guy even if its great. Thats why shows like The Game, RHOA and Basketball Wives are so popular because Kelsey Grammar knows that for some BW, thats their fantasy:

1. Meet an athlete
2. Get married and have his kids
3. Be set for life and never work again
4. If he divorces I can at least get child support.
5. Have a reality show on why her life was so bad and what man wants her and her baggage ( I see you Chilli ;)

The funny thing is for other women, this is their reality. You wont ever see Tom Brady, Peyton Manning, and Drew Bree’s wives doing these shows. Its their reality not a fantasy ;)

Raqi V

January 18th, 2011
1:39 pm

Purple, who said anything about advertising? A woman does not have say anything or show anything for you menfolk to be tripping because she ain’t giving up the goods. You all up the value whether you think so or not.

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
1:39 pm

Leggs, you sure you don;t have a few numbers on that list? LOL

Be honest I bet you know some women who are on that list more than once.

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
1:40 pm

Raqi, makeup, certain clothing, etc is all advertising.

abc

January 18th, 2011
1:41 pm

The ’sweetie honey’ thing is just a sign of low class. If it’s good enough for a waitress at the Waffle House, it’s good enough for the guys you hang out with, eh, Sweet Pea. That’s Olive Oyl’s baby’s name, of course. Hm.

SexyCool

January 18th, 2011
1:41 pm

P-Lito – I’m going to add a note that your list can be slightly modified to apply to men as well as women.

And I’m going to add a #11 to your list.

11: Someone who displays one or more of the above traits and does not recognize it or is in denial about it.

Raqi V

January 18th, 2011
1:41 pm

Turns out, most women really cant handle the guy they think they want.

Mdot, neither can most men. You have proved that many times on here. You have cried many times on here about wanting those shiny dimes yet they don’t turn out to be the little docile creatures you want at heart.

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
1:41 pm

Raqi, I am like that old DMX song mindset. I give her what she gave me. No sexual organ has dominance over the other. If anything I have the power because I have the penis.

Leggs

January 18th, 2011
1:41 pm

@Sweet Pea ~ you’ve answered your own question…it’s safe to say sweetie or baby! I don’t think the term is used in the hopes of getting in the bed any quicker.

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
1:43 pm

SexyCool, I was waiting on your response. LOL thing is if a man does any of that stuff, he is really not a “man” LOL

abc, I agree

Raqi V

January 18th, 2011
1:44 pm

LOL SexyCool. Only you would catch that. I totally didn’t put the two together.

SexyCool

January 18th, 2011
1:44 pm

M.Dot – it is so obvious that you are not a Black Woman….because it is evidenced that you know little to nothing about our fantasies.

OH….and your broadstroking of the ALL BLACK WOMEN kind is killing me.
We are not who you see caricatured on tv.
We are not all the same chick.
We do not all fit into the same mold.
You don’t know ALL of us…so, you can never be able to say what ALL of what want, think, will do.

DreamsMaterialize

January 18th, 2011
1:46 pm

Good list Purp.

I asked a guy if he called everyone that and didn’t really get an answer.
Sweet Pea this is because the answer was “YES”. Some dudes use those terms with women like they use “man” with dudes. You pass a cat on the street, you might say, “Hey man, how’s it going?” If it’s a woman, you might say, “Hey miss” or “How’s it going luv”.

Celisea

January 18th, 2011
1:46 pm

…..and most of us are shaking out heads at trash t.v. and are realistically removed from wanting to be apart of, envying, wishing, hoping or view as “the life to be living.”

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
1:47 pm

If you are called a generic nickname from the initial meeting, he is just trying to keep the women straight because he can not remember the names…or he is a pimp. If you get a unique nickname in the beginning that he he thought of with you, that’s different. LOL Nicknames should be unique.

I got busted when myspace was popular. I used to call this one woman I dated kitty(she had a great kitty and she knew why I called her that) then after we broke up the next woman I dated even had a better kitty, so I deemed her kitty as well. Well I never deleted stuff from my myspace page as I saw no need to and the new kitty was just browsing my page and saw that I called the old woman kitty as well. I did not get any kitty at all that night. LOL

M. (pronouced M dot)

January 18th, 2011
1:48 pm

@Raqi V

LOL you are putting up shields. Like I said, most, not all or everybody.

@SC

I never said all! I was saying most and obviously they all arent the same.

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
1:50 pm

Well Raqi is not on the field anymore she is happily married so she can just talk any smack she wants, but it has no merit. LOL

Kym-From the Road

January 18th, 2011
1:50 pm

Oh please don’t tell me I logged into a Adam vs Eve faceoff. I am really getting tired of the whole us vs them thing.

Raqi V

January 18th, 2011
1:51 pm

makeup, certain clothing, etc is all advertising

Purple, that’s where you are wrong again. It’s all in the eye of the beholder. Not every man get rigor mortis in his pants at the sight of a fat butt. And not every woman is trying to get your attention. Again you are the one putting the value on it.

SexyCool

January 18th, 2011
1:52 pm

And as far as “women wanting to be taken care of”, originally, that was the plan, the model.

The men took care of the women and the women took care of the home.

But…now…thanks to the inability to and failure of *many* man to take care of their responsibilities, the feminist movement and the Enjoli jingle, women now are EXPECTED to excel on the job, in the home AND in the bedroom.

And I’m not complaining, it is the direction in which our society has evolved. But…don’t act like it’s a sin against MAN to *want* to be taken care of. And really, IF you have the ability to take care of me…well, then…I guess it makes sense that I would want you to.

DreamsMaterialize

January 18th, 2011
1:53 pm

M.Dot – it is so obvious that you are not a Black Woman
M why does everyone think you’re a woman. You need to nip this in the bud bruh before it gets out of hand.

Sweet Pea

January 18th, 2011
1:54 pm

@SC..LOL only you all know this!!

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
1:54 pm

Raqi, not every man gets hard for other women except his wife. If you were home alone would you still do all of that? Nope, but when you go out you do. You can be presntable and look great without all of the extra stuff. I think it’s mental for a woman to think that a man is putting value on it and he really isn’t. that is kind of like a man saying hello to a woman or holding the door open and she thinks that he is trying to hit on her. hate to burst some bubbles but all men are not controlled by sex, maybe the young guys but the older mature ones are not led by the head between their legs. We all know that the pretty book cover can be a totally boring read.

Raqi V

January 18th, 2011
1:56 pm

but it has no merit
Purple, why does what I say not have merit? I know plenty about dating, mating and waiting. Saying I do does not erase all of our past dating experiences. And it definitely does not make me less woman and him less man.

And if what I say has no merit, neither does anything you say. Uh, you are married, right? LOL

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
1:57 pm

I have always thought M. was a man, never saw a sign of him being a woman. I am right…right?

SexyCool

January 18th, 2011
1:58 pm

Okay…Sweet(ie)…pun intended…(lol)…for my two pennies on your question, the baby/sweetie/darling/luv of it all does not bother me one bit. Now…if he is saying “Hey you”, then I may be concerned that he doesn’t know my name…

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
1:58 pm

Raqi, nope it’s different because you are a woman. A pregnant woman. LOL

Raqi V

January 18th, 2011
1:59 pm

You can be presntable and look great without all of the extra stuff

That’s a personal preference, sweetheart. My looking nice and presentable is not necessarily the next woman’s looking nice and presentable.

Like that big little boy that SexyCool mentioned once. He obviously feels he looks presentable in what he wears where many other men feel that a nicely pressed dress shirt, slacks and nice shoes is presentable.

Some woman eyes are drawn to the big little boy and some are attracted to the more dressier fellow.

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
2:01 pm

Sweetheart? LOL there is a difference in being well groomed/dressed and advertising

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
2:01 pm

“Hooker shoes” and “get’em girl jeans” Just felt like wearing those today huh? LOL

Kym-From the Road

January 18th, 2011
2:02 pm

@Sexy your comment reminded me of the movie Claudine. Women didn’t start out with the whole I am woman hear ne roar. You just do what you got to do to get what you need.

DreamsMaterialize

January 18th, 2011
2:06 pm

The men took care of the women and the women took care of the home.
Problem with this is that taking care of the home isn’t what it used to be. Taking care of the home used to mean feeding the chickens, milking the cows, sometimes being right along side her man in the fields. If you’re doing that (in today’s terms of course), then there’s no limit to what I’ll do to take care of you. But if your idea of taking care of home is sleeping in the first half of the day and running up the credit card the other half, then no way in he!! I’m sigining up for that. I think this is what comes to mind these days when women say they want to be “taken care of.” All the benefits with none of the reciprocity.

Celisea

January 18th, 2011
2:06 pm

I wonder too what the dude is thinking that clean cut (head to toe). Wonder if he got dressed with a woman in mind or if he just likes looking nice….hmmm

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
2:08 pm

Celisea, great thought process :)

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
2:11 pm

Celisea, Eddie Long was thinking of boys though with those muscle shirts and spandex

SexyCool

January 18th, 2011
2:11 pm

DreamsMat – please believe that in today’s terms of course I am on the plantation, out in the fields, toiling, daily.

Raqi V

January 18th, 2011
2:12 pm

Celisea, exactly. Most I guarantee just choose to look nice.

Celisea

January 18th, 2011
2:13 pm

Taking care of the home used to mean feeding the chickens, milking the cows, sometimes being right along side her man in the fields…….But if your idea of taking care of home is sleeping in the first half of the day and running up the credit card the other half

Just wow….that’s a huge stretch. What happen to the years in between….that era when we left the farm and came out of the fields? When men were present in the homes? The years when most homes practiced morality and standards…you know, the 70s, 80s and some of the 90s. You went from from 1920 to space age

SexyCool

January 18th, 2011
2:13 pm

Also….as far as this – your idea of taking care of home is sleeping in the first half of the day and running up the credit card the other half – I am confident that YOU would not pick a woman with that particular idea or belief.

Raqi V

January 18th, 2011
2:13 pm

Purple, whatever dude. LOL

So we all should walk around looking like the Amish or else we are considered advertising? Okay gotcha. LOL

I guess I need to go get me some prairie skirts ’cause I’s married now. LOL

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
2:14 pm

Women love a well dressed man, most men know that so what do more men start to do? Dress well. Because there would have never been a distinction if all men did it. Me I dress well because I am just a sexy mofo and make everything I were look good. LOL

SexyCool

January 18th, 2011
2:14 pm

And Celisea – if we use the same logic that *some* have applied to “Women dressing for other women”…you also have to wonder if “Men dress for other men.”

ijs…

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
2:15 pm

Raqi, yes ankle length skirts, big panties and soft flat shoes and your hair in two pony tails on the side. While you are at it just cover your face and leave a slit for the eyes.

Kym-From the Road

January 18th, 2011
2:16 pm

@Dreams seriously who are these women and why in the name of al that is unholy do you guys keep picking them? While taking care of home no longer means pulling tators and milking cows. It does still mean working everyday, paying bills and buying essentials together. It means standing beside your SO when sick and medical bills pile up. It means holding that person up when they get served with layoff notices. Seriously I am gonna need some of yall to pick better.

Celisea

January 18th, 2011
2:16 pm

Raqi – It’s so dang double on here that it’s not funny. I for one, LOVE a crisp clean cut dude and while he knows he looks good and probably attractive, I doubt he’s got a chick on the brain when dressing.

PR – Your EL comment…you aint right :)

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
2:16 pm

Do women purposely wear clothes that show off their camel toe? Do they do that for self or for other people?

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
2:17 pm

So taking care of home means more than making sure she peaks? LOL

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
2:18 pm

SexyCool of course some men are dressing for other men, you think that they just want to wear skirts and heels? LOL

BlackMagicWoman

January 18th, 2011
2:19 pm

RAQI…you know how I does! :lol:

M Dot…your cousin’s wife is a d*ldo head! :lol:

PURPLE….you trying to call me out on number 1? :lol:

“But…now…thanks to the inability to and failure of *many* man to take care of their responsibilities, the feminist movement and the Enjoli jingle, women now are EXPECTED to excel on the job, in the home AND in the bedroom.”

SCOOL…now look here…I am going to need to you repost that in bold letters! :lol:

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
2:19 pm

If it were socially acceptable I would go outside in my boots, boxers and a cap.

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
2:20 pm

Enjoli jingle?

Leggs

January 18th, 2011
2:20 pm

@PR ~ I’m in stitches over kitty! That was truly funny!

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
2:21 pm

Black, you are a #1 type of woman?

DreamsMaterialize

January 18th, 2011
2:21 pm

DreamsMat – please believe that in today’s terms of course I am on the plantation, out in the fields, toiling, daily.
SexyC Then like TI said, “You can have whatever you liiiike…”

You went from from 1920 to space age
Celisea No I didn’t. That’s why I in my post I qualified it by saying:

If you’re doing that (in today’s terms of course), then there’s no limit to what I’ll do to take care of you.”

I am confident that YOU would not pick a woman with that particular idea or belief.
SexyC Of course not…well not intentionally. lol That’s why I said:

But if your idea of taking care of home is sleeping in the first half of the day and running up the credit card the other half, then no way in he!! I’m sigining up for that. ;-)

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
2:21 pm

Leggs, she was really pissed when she found out I called another woman “kitty” before. Ever since then I have never doubled up on nicknames

SexyCool

January 18th, 2011
2:23 pm

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
2:23 pm

Dreams, women will read but nor read…then try and make a point on what they did not read. LOL

Celisea

January 18th, 2011
2:23 pm

SexyCool…you also have to wonder if “Men dress for other men.”

These days? Yes you do…you do have to wonder.

PR – I like looking sexy. I don’t do “nekkid” but I find so often you can sexy it up with quality stuff. I’m not thinking “screw me screw me screw me” when I get dressed. Another tidbit, I ain’t doing the big girl panties. I like sexy…not open crotch but sexy. Soft colors, lace…but that’s just what I like. I never plan on an expose’ when I’m getting dressed…

Raqi – Most I guarantee just choose to look nice.

Exactly. Wonder why it’s logic for a man to dress, motive being to look nice but with women, the intent to get layed or attact men. I mean you know if you’re looking good AND smelling soft and nice that it could turn a head but so can/will a dude that’s hanging it nicely. You just don’t have the intents of doing so when getting dressed. You know, I think they just had to admit when they know we’re right. That example with Dreams was so freaking outlandish that if you are allowing a chick to lay up and run up your credit cards while you work you should be take outback by some other men and get a trashing for allowing such foolishness.

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
2:24 pm

Sexy Cool, I remember that commercial LOL

Kym-From the Road

January 18th, 2011
2:25 pm

@Drerams well could you spread the word to the brotherhood cause I grow weary of beening lumpin with Shoshanna and Rochica.

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
2:25 pm

Celisea, 2011?

Serious question, how or when did/does find someone find their sexy. How do they know what feels sexy to them. Was it an experience with another or just one day while being vain?

Leggs

January 18th, 2011
2:26 pm

Interesting. I like to think women get dressed because they don’t want to land in jail. And since they have to wear clothes, why not dress as nicely and neat as one possibly can. I dress simply because I like looking cute!

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
2:26 pm

If I made enough money and she cooked kept the house clean and me happy she could lay up and charge the cards. LOL

Kym-From the Road

January 18th, 2011
2:27 pm

In my defense I am blog on the crackberry. LOL

Celisea

January 18th, 2011
2:27 pm

Seriously I am gonna need some of yall to pick better.

….and Imma agree, cause I thought most folks write/type/talk when drawing from personal experiences and really some of this stuff gets the side eye. I think PR is just instigating though :)

DreamsMaterialize

January 18th, 2011
2:27 pm

So we all should walk around looking like the Amish or else we are considered advertising?
Raqi the Amish would say so. LOL

Seriously I am gonna need some of yall to pick better.
Kym I’d say this advice applies to all of us.

Celisea

January 18th, 2011
2:29 pm

PR – Patience man…it’s still set for 2038. Of course sexy panties now and 27 years from now won’t quite look or hang the same way :)

Leggs

January 18th, 2011
2:33 pm

I’m hear to tell you, they definitely won’t hang the same way. :lol: :lol:

DreamsMaterialize

January 18th, 2011
2:33 pm

That example with Dreams was so freaking outlandish that if you are allowing a chick to lay up and run up your credit cards while you work you should be take outback by some other men and get a trashing for allowing such foolishness.
Celisea I agree that a man needs a thrashing for allowing this, but outlandish the example was not. Are there not a whole series of “reality” tv shows based on exactly this type of woman? I’m not saying they’re the norm or that they represent every woman, but they represent enough women to have high ratings from their majority women viewers.

Kym-From the Road

January 18th, 2011
2:34 pm

@Dreams I agree women and men should pick better.

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
2:34 pm

Celisea, I am stoking the fire a bit. Except with my last question, it was serious.

Leggs

January 18th, 2011
2:36 pm

I’m here….

kimmie

January 18th, 2011
2:37 pm

Hey Blog Peeps!

So we are on clothes and the roles of men/women of today versus yesteryear?

As far as clothes, I dress for me and the situation. I like looking stylish and classy. That may or may not be inticing, that’s really in the eye of the beholder. Some of today’s mainstream stuff looks trashy to me. That might be okay for a fun evening with my man but not for the office. Above all, I am neat and clean and true to myself.

As for men & women and our roles and what we want/don’t want – well a lot has changed in society and it’s expectations for all. So much is said about what obviously does not work. Not much is said for what DOES work! I think the greatest thing is that both sexes now have OPTIONS that were just not available before. Women and men can be whatever they want to be if they put forth the effort. Women can also CHOOSE to be the traditional homemaker if that’s what she wants and finds a man that wants the same thing from a wife. There are some men that are okay with the woman being the main breadwinner and are okay in a more nurturing role. This does not make him less of a man. Everyone should just get in where they fit in and not try to force their IDEA of what is normal on others! To each his/her own! :)

Leggs

January 18th, 2011
2:38 pm

There’s an old saying about being picky. Pick, pick, pick, you pick s h y t!

BlackMagicWoman

January 18th, 2011
2:42 pm

PURPLE…nah man. I am not number #1. I’m just messing with ya! Or am I? :evil:

As far as dressing….I dress for me because I like the fashions that I wear. I love to dress different and wear things no one else has or would put together. I don’t dress to impress men or women. I like to impress my dayum self! :lol:
I love sexy panties just because! My panties much match my bra though.

DreamsMaterialize

January 18th, 2011
2:42 pm

Drerams well could you spread the word to the brotherhood cause I grow weary of beening lumpin with Shoshanna and Rochica.
Kym You’re always Kym to me. ;-) Seriously though, I know there are wonderful women all around us. I know many, have dated many, and appreciate them fully. I was just responding to a point about men not being real men anymore. I agree with that, but think that the same could be said of both. I will now go out and evangelize the brotherhood so that they too can see the light. ;-)

Raqi V

January 18th, 2011
2:43 pm

Laying up charging the cards is not even a desire nor an option in my house. LOL

Raqi V

January 18th, 2011
2:43 pm

Kimmie, I agree. Building and having a happy home is all about doing what works best for the two individuals.

Raqi V

January 18th, 2011
2:45 pm

I agree on the sexy underwear. It makes you feel sexy even when no one knows you are wearing it.

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
2:45 pm

Black, I was going to say that is very evil for a woman to just admit to being #1. I would have to not be your friend anymore. LOL

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
2:46 pm

This was a serious question.

Serious question, how or when did/does find someone find their sexy. How do they know what feels sexy to them. Was it an experience with another or just one day while being vain

Kym-From the Road

January 18th, 2011
2:47 pm

Dreams don’t forget your collection plate and tip jar.

kimmie

January 18th, 2011
2:47 pm

Leggs – I think a lot of people are uncomfortable with having too many choices. They were more comfortable when there is not much to choose from or if the choice is made for them. They can’t handle OPTIONS. Or, they can’t handle it that others have these options. They liked it better when women/men/races/etc “knew their place”.

Get in where you fit in. If you can’t handle an modern woman, a traditional woman, a modern man, a traditional man, etc – well, you know what you need to do…..

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
2:47 pm

Kym, since you are here now…let us talk about the Falcons

Leggs

January 18th, 2011
2:52 pm

@PR ~ here’s my honest answer. I never really felt sexy in my mid 20’s or even 30’s. I found my sexy at 43. It was at that time when I was simply truly, unequivocably happy with myself, my body, my mindset. Feeling sexy isn’t necessarily about vanity. It’s an acceptance of oneself, as well as an appreciation of oneself.

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
2:54 pm

Leggs, if you are saying sexy is a state of mind I agree with you.

Leggs

January 18th, 2011
2:55 pm

@PR ~ yes, that’s what I’m saying!

Raqi V

January 18th, 2011
2:58 pm

Purple, I think it’s just part of a person’s make up. You don’t find your sexy you just have it. And the sexy is not really based on what others may or may not like about you. My hub thinks I have sexy legs. That’s all fine and dandy. I like my legs okay. But I think my smile is sexy.

And then overall sexy is more of how you feel. When you feel sexy it’s easier to look sexy.

I would say by the age 12 most little girls think they are cute. By 16 her sexy appeal starts to develop. By 25 she is bold enough to work it. LOL

Raqi V

January 18th, 2011
2:59 pm

Now that doesn’t mean someone can’t make you feel sexy, but I am just saying it’s not something that you can really put your finger directly on.

kimmie

January 18th, 2011
3:00 pm

Leggs/Purple Olive – I agree that self-acceptance and appreciation is vital to one feeling sexy. It has to come from within. I have always had a healthy amount of self-esteem, but I did not feel truly beautiful until I stopped worring about what others thought, especially whatever man was in my life at the time. Or comparing myself to what other’s standards were.

Now I’m truly happy with me and if someone else isn’t, well they know where they can go!!!

Celisea

January 18th, 2011
3:03 pm

PR – To your question I think it resonates from within. There’s a nice feeling with nice/pretty underwear but I don’t think it comes from anything outside, I think it comes from within, where you are and how you feel about yourself. I think the answer may vary depending on the individual.

Leggs

January 18th, 2011
3:04 pm

@kimmie ~ I always would say “I have a healthy dosage of self-esteem!” I don’t believe in sabatoging myself like many do. Nor, do I sabatoge relationships! I grew up watching a friend do exactly that. Best lesson I ever could have experienced!

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
3:05 pm

My observation on sexy on a woman is just like a glow. A woman who is comfortable with herself or just happy exudes sexiness to me. That is why I never really had a “type” of woman. The physical attributes or style does not define sexy to me. It is the way she carries herself they way she walks the way she talks just nice and sexy. The panties, tight or nice clothes being made up is all fine and dandy. I love it, but it speaks to the lust hormones. A woman can be sexy covered in mud after running the trails or in the latest from Victoria Secrets or doing hand work.

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
3:05 pm

Thanks ladies for answering the question. :)

kimmie

January 18th, 2011
3:06 pm

Wise – Your post contains one of my biggest pet peeves!!! What’s with this “women in Atlanta” mess??? So your male buddies ONLY run across women that compare men to their fathers, judge men by their station in life or let sex get in the way – IN ATLANTA???? Because really, those 3 habits have been going on since the beginning of time, the world over!!!

Raqi V

January 18th, 2011
3:06 pm

Purple, do you think Jill Scott is sexy?

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
3:06 pm

On the other side though, I can not tolerate a woman who doesn’t know how to be sexy. Just a rough and tumble tomboy is a tad to much.

M. (pronouced M dot)

January 18th, 2011
3:07 pm

Mdot is a guy all day and twice on sunday. Ok thats settled. Go BEARS!

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
3:07 pm

Raqi, very sexy. She is comfortable with who she is and that is very sexy to me.

Celisea

January 18th, 2011
3:08 pm

Dreams – I called your example outlandish because unless you’ve been in the situation where you was on the grind and had someone just plain trifling eating and absorbing as quickly as you can make it….it’s an extreme example. You don’t strick me as such. I think debate and dialoging can probably be best hashed if realitic examples are used…personal experiences. To throw out a stereotype of the worst kind in a debate where we’re trying to come to a draw will in and of itself cause an imbalance. It’s hard to speak to or debate against an example that you’ve not really even experience but rather used an extreme. We know there are some chicks using dudes but I wouldn’t equate you’re out manning the farms or cotton fields while she’s eating bon bons and running up your credit cards.

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
3:08 pm

Tyra Banks not sexy.

Giselle Bundchen is sexy

Angieina Jolie is not sexy.

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
3:09 pm

Nia Long sexy

Halle Berry not sexy

SlimNumeroUno

January 18th, 2011
3:10 pm

Did someone summon me —-> Sexy….I IS HERRRRRR ;-)

Celisea

January 18th, 2011
3:10 pm

Sexy and cute/pretty are not the same. Sexy is an “ism” you possess…you just have it….

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
3:10 pm

Queen Latifah sexy

Kim Kardashian is not sexy

Raqi V

January 18th, 2011
3:10 pm

Purple, I agree with the other ladies. It is just what it is. I have been told a few habits that I have are sexy however I am seldom aware of when I am doing them so I can’t even capitalize on them even if I wanted to. LOL

Celisea

January 18th, 2011
3:11 pm

and too, if a woman threw out an extreme, stereotypical example, she’d be pegged as bitter.

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
3:11 pm

Michelle Obama, her confidence and the way she is a lover of her husband and kids. Very Sexy

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
3:12 pm

I make no excuses for being the man that I am, rough, strong headed, tempermental. But my wife calls me sexy and thinks I am sexy so I stick to it. LOL

kimmie

January 18th, 2011
3:14 pm

Purple – If it’s not broken, don’t try to fix it!

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
3:17 pm

kimmie, I am sticking to the script. LOL, this winter I have developed a little gut. Being back near mom and not being outdoors as much is killing me and my abs. I hate it but she loves it and trys to pinch and rub it. I have a complex about it especially with her always commenting on it and how she likes it, but it has to go.

Leggs

January 18th, 2011
3:17 pm

“strong headed” I thought it’s “hard headed!”

kimmie

January 18th, 2011
3:17 pm

Purple – It’s also too exhausting trying to be something other than yourself!

That’s why I decided a long time ago – to H with it, I fine just as I am, imperfections and all.

Don’t hate me cause I’m beautiful!! :wink:

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
3:17 pm

Leggs, strong headed as in strong willed. I am not hard headed, when she tells me to do something I do it. LOL

Raqi V

January 18th, 2011
3:17 pm

Purple, you think I can convince my husband he is sexy when he mops the kitchen floor?

I told him once that I find it sexy when he loads the dishwasher but that didn’t work. LOL I have to convince him that he is sexy doing it.

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
3:18 pm

kimmie, you blog very sexy.

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
3:20 pm

Raqi, I don’t know about that. There is nothing sexy about doing dishes or mopping a floor. LOL

BlackMagicWoman

January 18th, 2011
3:20 pm

PURPLE..why….you scurred? :lol:

Oh and Giselle lloks like a chain smoking man-horse in the face. Not to mention she is a$$-less! :lol: I agree on Angelina..she has a body like a 12 year old boy!

Let’s see…my girl crushes… (only women can get away with calling another woman sexy) :lol:

Sophia Vegara
Kerry Washington
Adrianna Lima
Kelly Hu

Just to name a few!

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
3:20 pm

It’s only sexy when a woman does it. LOL

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
3:22 pm

Black, yes very scared and this is sexy in a lust kind of way

http://www.subliminal7.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/Gisele-Bundchen.jpg

Leggs

January 18th, 2011
3:23 pm

@BMW ~ my girl crushes are:

Keri Hilson
Nia Long
Megan Fox
Charliez Teron (sp?)

Just to name a few (LOL).

Raqi V

January 18th, 2011
3:26 pm

Girl crushes? I haven’t thought about it. Let me see…

kimmie

January 18th, 2011
3:26 pm

Thank you Purple Olive! :lol:

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
3:26 pm

Not calling anyone here a lesbian but why is it not a lesbo tendancy when a woman has a girl crush? If a guy said something like that, dude is gay

DreamsMaterialize

January 18th, 2011
3:27 pm

Celisea the initial statement was that men are no longer men…not like men of the past. No woman here has experience dating men in that long bygone era (whenever that was), but the statement still gets made all the time. Is that statement not a comparison of SOME men now to men of the past? My example does the same, compares SOME women now to women of the past. Maybe I should have just said “women aren’t what they used to be either” and been done with it.

BlackMagicWoman

January 18th, 2011
3:27 pm

PURPLE…she looks great there. But it’s make up and the profile of her face. But regularly….she looks like a chain smoking man! :lol:

I agree with you on First Lady too!

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
3:27 pm

kimmie, you are welcome

BlackMagicWoman

January 18th, 2011
3:28 pm

“why is it not a lesbo tendancy when a woman has a girl crush? If a guy said something like that, dude is gay”

It’s that double standard PURP…..

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
3:28 pm

Black, Victoria Secret shows and the other times I have seen her she looks good to me. I would not kick her or the First Lady out of the bed. If i could get both of them in the bed at the same time that would be better.

Leggs

January 18th, 2011
3:29 pm

@PR ~ because we can tell another woman she’s gorgeous without being gay. It’s weird for a man to tell another man, “your handsome.” Only the strong, self-confident woman will do this. I’ll give a woman her props any day, every day!

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
3:29 pm

Should a man be worried if his woman comments on girl crushes?

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
3:30 pm

Leggs, so how do you know if a woman is giving you a compliment or if she wants to mow your grass?

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
3:31 pm

You know some of you ladies really help me understand women more. That’s what I use this blog for. Some of you others…not so much. LOL

DreamsMaterialize

January 18th, 2011
3:32 pm

If a guy said something like that, dude is gay
Gayer than a Freddy Jackson, Luther Vandross duet.

Leggs

January 18th, 2011
3:34 pm

@PR ~ it’s called “intuition.” Believe you me, we will know IMMEDIATELY the difference between a compliment and wanting a munching session!

kimmie

January 18th, 2011
3:37 pm

I would call my girl crushes women whom I admire for their style & guts!

Sade
Michelle Obama(plus we share a birthday!)
Nancy Pelosi
Diana Ross
Judge Judy
Oprah
Audra McDonald
Judith Jamison
Beyonce
Lena Horne
Laila Ali
Ruby Dee

I have probably told you all on here before that I collect biographies on public figures. So a lot of these women I know more than the mainstream stuff about and admire them for these qualities. There are way more but I can’t think of them all right now.

BlackMagicWoman

January 18th, 2011
3:39 pm

“Believe you me, we will know IMMEDIATELY the difference between a compliment and wanting a munching session!”

:lol: Now that’s funny! But it’s true! I am on a Strict D*ck Diet! I don’t don’t digest carpet and I know this without even trying it! :lol:

Leggs

January 18th, 2011
3:39 pm

@kimmie ~ I love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love Ms. Diana Ross. And, I too love reading biographies.

DreamsMaterialize

January 18th, 2011
3:40 pm

Now that’s funny! But it’s true! I am on a Strict D*ck Diet! I don’t don’t digest carpet and I know this without even trying it!
BMW Don’t call it a diet, call it a lifestyle. ;-)

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
3:42 pm

kimmie, sounds kind of like a stalker to me. LOL

kimmie

January 18th, 2011
3:44 pm

Leggs – I always thought she was bad, but after I saw that interview I think Diane Sawyer did with her & her kids, I was sold. The way her children spoke about her and how SHE raised them, not a nanny, and how she was never away from them for more than a day, would beat it to get home and be there to fix them breakfast and get them off to school – my respect for her grew 10 times!

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
3:45 pm

Let’s talk about what is not sexy in the opposite sex.

A drunk woman is not sexy to me

BlackMagicWoman

January 18th, 2011
3:45 pm

:lol: Ok DREAMS….a Strict D*ck Lifestyle! Although…..I have been lacking! By choice of course! :lol: I am puddy selective!

Leggs

January 18th, 2011
3:45 pm

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
3:46 pm

Black, you know I was turned on by you up until you made that #1 joke. LOL

kimmie

January 18th, 2011
3:46 pm

Purple – No more than you stalking Giselle & Mrs O!!LOL!!

I just admire these women and what they accomplished, thru hard work and determination. And they looked good while doing it!LOL!!

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
3:47 pm

So me and all of my google resources had to look up what “no hands” meant. No ma’am, I would like it to do it with your hands joining the party too. LOL

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
3:47 pm

kimmie, what I keep in my safe is my business!!!

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
3:49 pm

Barack better not ever slip up. LOL because Michelle is toned

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
3:50 pm

Oprah is not sexy but we can work something out

kimmie

January 18th, 2011
3:52 pm

Laila Ali, other than having an obvious example in her father, got encouraged to go boxing after beating up her step daddy. He was abusing her mother and Laila wiped the floor with him!

Kym

January 18th, 2011
3:53 pm

Okay I am stationary now..I didn’t know women had girl crushes I have women I admire here are a few

Maya Angelou
Diahann Carroll
Lena Horne
Oprah Winfrey
Agatha Christie(hey this is my list )
Nina Simone
Condi Rice(again this is my list)

@PurpleRain..you mean you wanna waste valuable blog space talking about how the Fakecons got the brakes, tires and rims beat off of them by the Packers..sure why not? I need a laugh. LOL!!

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
3:54 pm

Laila Ali, is how. I just could not date a woman who stood up for me. I mean if we are walking in the park and someone accosts us. I would feel kind of bad if she put up her dukes and jumped the guy before I did.

Leggs

January 18th, 2011
3:54 pm

WOW, that’s good trivia to me. I love stuff like that.

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
3:54 pm

Or she might have me mopping floors and doing dishes under threat of beating my head in.

Raqi V

January 18th, 2011
3:54 pm

BlackMagic, aint that the truth. LOL

I have said it before I don’t want nothing soft clinging to and rubbing against my nekkid body except my freshly laundered 1200 ct Egyptian cotton sheets and my Hotel Living towels.

Strictly…well you know the rest. LOL

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
3:55 pm

Kym, the Falcons are who we thought they were. LOOOOooooooOOOOOSers!!

Leggs

January 18th, 2011
3:56 pm

@PR ~ she might just hesitate a smidget of a second to see if you’ll put up your dukes first. If not, TKO!

kimmie

January 18th, 2011
3:57 pm

Purple – She was defending her mother. She has not had to box a dude, not that I know of anyway. But Google her, she is gorgeous and tough!!

Raqi V

January 18th, 2011
3:58 pm

Yeah little Ali is a nice looking lady.

Raqi V

January 18th, 2011
3:58 pm

Angela Bassett is also a nice looking woman that does not get nearly enough credit.

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
3:59 pm

Leggs, it’s her instincts she would just jump in.

Denise

January 18th, 2011
4:00 pm

This hit dog hollers! I do compare men to my father. I was spoiled (I just think I was loved) and my boyfriend always says I’m spoiled. I did have my lip poked out this morning over my birthday so I guess I am a little bit spoiled.

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
4:00 pm

kimmie, I met her and her husband in Vegas one time at a funeral. I think they are divorced now

Celisea

January 18th, 2011
4:00 pm

I see women I admire but for accomplishments and overcoming. I see women I think are beautiful but it don’t register with me nor does my mind wonder past that part. Girl crushes lean a bit towards hitting the switch for me.

Leggs

January 18th, 2011
4:00 pm

I’ve always admired Cicely Tyson!

Kym

January 18th, 2011
4:01 pm

@Purple Rain…LMAO!!

Leggs

January 18th, 2011
4:02 pm

@PR ~ don’t know about that…she’s with her man…I think she understands the importance of letting the man be the man! I think her instincts are honed enough to stand behind her man until she sees she needs to come and be front and center with that TKO!

Kym

January 18th, 2011
4:02 pm

@Purple..I thought Lalia just had another bambino..she is divorce!?

Raqi V

January 18th, 2011
4:04 pm

Leggs, I don’t mean to be funny or anything but why Cicely Tyson? I hear folks raving about her but I never knew why. I guess I haven’t read about her to know her accomplishments. I love the movie Sounder but that’s about it. Enlighten me please.

Kym

January 18th, 2011
4:04 pm

Comcast won approval to take over NBC..ugh..now I have even more reason to hate Comcast.

Sweet Pea

January 18th, 2011
4:05 pm

Just returning from a meeting! @ABC…it’s good enough for the guys you hang out with….Hmmmm Never hung out with em just talked on the phone which helps weed out folks…IMO I don’t entertain a low class bunch as there are none in my group!…IJS

Thanks everyone for your input!

kimmie

January 18th, 2011
4:05 pm

Leggs – She is divorced and remarried, preggers with her 2nd child with him, I think, or has already had the child. And she seems to have no trouble attracting men. From what I’ve read about her, she has no problem with her man actually being the man!

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
4:06 pm

I am certain that she divorced my friend who died friend. But they were at the funeral together and they were married then. He use to do a little boxing too

Raqi V

January 18th, 2011
4:06 pm

She is married to someone else I think, Purple.

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
4:06 pm

His name is Johnny can’t remember his last name, whats the guys name she is married to now?

Raqi V

January 18th, 2011
4:07 pm

Last name Conway.

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
4:08 pm

When I met them she was very lady like even girlie I was thinking this woman can take me with one punch if she wanted to. LOL

Raqi V

January 18th, 2011
4:08 pm

I found it. Curtis Conway is who she is married to now.

Raqi V

January 18th, 2011
4:09 pm

He played for the Bears, Chargers, Jets and 49ers.

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
4:09 pm

I just googled Johnny last name is McClain, they were married for 5 years

http://boxrec.com/media/index.php/John_McClain

Leggs

January 18th, 2011
4:11 pm

@Raqi V ~ I admire her for her acting abilities. She’s a fine actress. Much like I admire Alfrie Woodard. They don’t get called upon a lot anymore. Same with Angela Bassett. Excellent actors. Cicley Tyson embodies the soul of any character she plays. Whether it’s an embattered slave name Ms. Pittman or a strong mother/grandmother in “Mama Flora’s Family,” she makes brings all her characters to live and you forget it’s Cicely Tyson!

Leggs

January 18th, 2011
4:12 pm

@kimmie ~ I figured as much. It makes perfectly good sense to me.

Raqi V

January 18th, 2011
4:14 pm

I love to watch Alfrie Woodard but not Cicely Tyson so much. Like I said I just never knew of anything notable that stood out about her.
I can’t say what I am actually thinking but, uh, yeah never been a Tyson fan.

BlackMagicWoman

January 18th, 2011
4:18 pm

PURPLE…you know you love me! :lol: I am not evil…I have tendencies that can be brought out if pushed to that limit!

Laila Ali is on my Girl Crush list too!

KYM…I loves me some Nina Simone! I have a remixed version of her song, “Feeling Good”. It’s so hot!

CELISEA…there’s no switch hitting or flipping over here. Just giving a female her props. I laugh when I see guys that have been best friends for a long time, I just love their lil “Bro-mance”! :lol:

PURPLE…Laila divorced her first husband and now she is married with a son. She is married to ex-NFL player Curtis Conway.

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
4:18 pm

Raqi V

January 18th, 2011
4:18 pm

I guess I cannot fairly state my opinion on Ms. Tyson after just viewing a list of her movies and appearances. I have only seen three things that she has done. So I will humbly bow away from the subject.

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
4:19 pm

Black, a smart man recognizes a woman’s potential. LOL

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
4:21 pm

I don’t get the whole guy hug thing. You will get an elbow to the chest if you try and pull me in for a hug

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
4:22 pm

There will be no sword fighting with me.

Leggs

January 18th, 2011
4:24 pm

@Raqi V ~ :lol: :lol: You know, the world would be a better place if many would do what you just did and not try and debate that which they know nothing about.

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
4:25 pm

Leggs, but then the blog would be boring

Leggs

January 18th, 2011
4:25 pm

@Raqi V ~ And, that wasn’t meant as a slur toward you! Hopefully, you took it as a compliment.

kimmie

January 18th, 2011
4:26 pm

I admire anyone, woman or man, that goes for what they want and what they believe in, even enduring all kinds of criticism and hate.

Raqi V

January 18th, 2011
4:26 pm

There will be no sword fighting with me

Dude, why are the swords even drawn? LOL I mean you are standing there talking to a man. All swords are at ease. Or should be.

There is nothing wrong with two men hugging when they haven’t seen each other in ages. No lingering in each other’s arms but it’s okay to hug.

Leggs

January 18th, 2011
4:27 pm

@PR ~ not talking about here on the blog. In the real world (lol).

Raqi V

January 18th, 2011
4:28 pm

Leggs, I didn’t take it as an insult even if you meant it as one. LOL I am woman enough to bow out humbly when I know I should.

Leggs

January 18th, 2011
4:31 pm

@Raqi V ~ I took it that PR meant the male appendage! I think???

Celisea

January 18th, 2011
4:32 pm

Staceye – CELISEA…there’s no switch hitting or flipping over here.

I feel you lady….all the way and all day long…no can do :)

Leggs

January 18th, 2011
4:32 pm

@Raqi ~ excellent…and that’s exactly what I was thinking…you’re woman enough to bow out….yep, that’s where I was going with it. :lol:

Celisea

January 18th, 2011
4:34 pm

Staceye – CELISEA…there’s no switch hitting or flipping over here.

I feel you girl….alllll day long

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
4:34 pm

Raqi, if the sword is “at the ready” or not there shall remain a distance between two of them. Now go over there and hug Celisea so I can see yalls tittaayy’s rub together

Leggs

January 18th, 2011
4:35 pm

Ok, Raqi, I read your entire comment about the swords. You on the same page. This speed reading isn’t working for me!

SexyCool

January 18th, 2011
4:37 pm

Completely random thought – I have had the same microwave since 1994.

Leggs

January 18th, 2011
4:43 pm

I’m wondering…A co-worker came up to me this afternoon and said she didn’t like me in my black and white striped turtleneck and asked that I not wear it again in her presence. I realize she was joking about the latter part, but I in turn told her we were even, cuz I didn’t like her messy looking weave! I hope that shuts her up for a while!

Celisea

January 18th, 2011
4:47 pm

A co-worker came up to me this afternoon and said she didn’t like me in my black and white striped turtleneck and asked that I not wear it again in her presence.

As my daughter would say “oh, ut uh” LOL I would have let her know first, yeen joking. But I ain’t either bout yo messy weave. Of course I would have been ladylike with my retort.

Leggs

January 18th, 2011
4:50 pm

I said it with a smile, Celisea! This particular coworker has been throwing jabs my way for a few months. She thinks it’s playful and innocent, but I can read between the lines. I told her not to bark up this tree because she will get her feelings hurt. She keeps coming after me so I took just one glove off this afternoon.

Celisea

January 18th, 2011
4:50 pm

How come firedrills happen late? Huh? Why? Why folks wanna walk up and talk when you have emergencies and seem oh so slightly offended they that caught you at a bad time?

Just asking

Leggs

January 18th, 2011
4:51 pm

Or, put one glove on!

Celisea

January 18th, 2011
4:51 pm

She keeps coming after me so I took just one glove off this afternoon.

GOOD FOR YOU

Kym

January 18th, 2011
4:52 pm

@Leggs..okay that is some gfab stuff right there….what kind of foolishness is that. She is not playing she taking nips off of the hater-aid during lunch.

Leggs

January 18th, 2011
4:55 pm

:lol: Exactly, Kym!

Leggs

January 18th, 2011
4:59 pm

@SexyC ~ would you believe I still have the same garbage can since 19___ (LOL). I can see you take care of your merchandise like I do. :lol: :lol:

Leggs

January 18th, 2011
5:05 pm

Good night!

Worry is the darkroom in which negatives are developed.

This is 2011, stop worrying and start being a little more proactive!