Bad dating habits you should change this year
I got a stern talking to from my male friends about the bad dating habits that I, and apparently women in Atlanta, should stop immediately. I did not like hearing it. I’m still a little bit salty about the “male intervention” but I promised I would do a dating blog PSA. Perhaps a little tough love could make a difference!
Bad habit #1 Comparing men to your father. Good or bad. Some women adore their fathers and want their men to spoil them like Dad did/does. Then there are women who had awful fathers and believe all men are just like their no-good fathers. Regardless, the men you date should not be unfairly compared or harshly judged by unrealistic expectations. The truth is, all Dads are men/human so they made/make mistakes too.
Bad habit# 2 Judging men by where they are in life. My friends tell me that men feel a huge amount of pressure to be successful. Men won’t go around broadcasting to women that they had setbacks in their past. Who knows what they have already endured to get where they are already? Stop scrutinizing so-called “shortcomings” and focus on character and compatibility.
Bad habit# 3 Let sex get in the way. Women spend too much time stressing on the right/wrong time. Men appreciate a woman who is confident in her choice and respect your decision. Make your choice but don’t play games.
These were the top three bad habits that my friends thinks women should change. What do you think? Would changing these bad habits make a difference for women?
Do you have any bad dating habits that you wish single people would drop?
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360 comments Add your comment
Purple Rain
January 18th, 2011
2:21 pm
Leggs, she was really pissed when she found out I called another woman “kitty” before. Ever since then I have never doubled up on nicknames
SexyCool
January 18th, 2011
2:23 pm
Enjoli – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4X4MwbVf5OA
Purple Rain
January 18th, 2011
2:23 pm
Dreams, women will read but nor read…then try and make a point on what they did not read. LOL
Celisea
January 18th, 2011
2:23 pm
SexyCool…you also have to wonder if “Men dress for other men.”
These days? Yes you do…you do have to wonder.
PR – I like looking sexy. I don’t do “nekkid” but I find so often you can sexy it up with quality stuff. I’m not thinking “screw me screw me screw me” when I get dressed. Another tidbit, I ain’t doing the big girl panties. I like sexy…not open crotch but sexy. Soft colors, lace…but that’s just what I like. I never plan on an expose’ when I’m getting dressed…
Raqi – Most I guarantee just choose to look nice.
Exactly. Wonder why it’s logic for a man to dress, motive being to look nice but with women, the intent to get layed or attact men. I mean you know if you’re looking good AND smelling soft and nice that it could turn a head but so can/will a dude that’s hanging it nicely. You just don’t have the intents of doing so when getting dressed. You know, I think they just had to admit when they know we’re right. That example with Dreams was so freaking outlandish that if you are allowing a chick to lay up and run up your credit cards while you work you should be take outback by some other men and get a trashing for allowing such foolishness.
Purple Rain
January 18th, 2011
2:24 pm
Sexy Cool, I remember that commercial LOL
Kym-From the Road
January 18th, 2011
2:25 pm
@Drerams well could you spread the word to the brotherhood cause I grow weary of beening lumpin with Shoshanna and Rochica.
Purple Rain
January 18th, 2011
2:25 pm
Celisea, 2011?
Serious question, how or when did/does find someone find their sexy. How do they know what feels sexy to them. Was it an experience with another or just one day while being vain?
Leggs
January 18th, 2011
2:26 pm
Interesting. I like to think women get dressed because they don’t want to land in jail. And since they have to wear clothes, why not dress as nicely and neat as one possibly can. I dress simply because I like looking cute!
Purple Rain
January 18th, 2011
2:26 pm
If I made enough money and she cooked kept the house clean and me happy she could lay up and charge the cards. LOL
Kym-From the Road
January 18th, 2011
2:27 pm
In my defense I am blog on the crackberry. LOL
Celisea
January 18th, 2011
2:27 pm
Seriously I am gonna need some of yall to pick better.
….and Imma agree, cause I thought most folks write/type/talk when drawing from personal experiences and really some of this stuff gets the side eye. I think PR is just instigating though
DreamsMaterialize
January 18th, 2011
2:27 pm
So we all should walk around looking like the Amish or else we are considered advertising?
Raqi the Amish would say so. LOL
Seriously I am gonna need some of yall to pick better.
Kym I’d say this advice applies to all of us.
Celisea
January 18th, 2011
2:29 pm
PR – Patience man…it’s still set for 2038. Of course sexy panties now and 27 years from now won’t quite look or hang the same way
Leggs
January 18th, 2011
2:33 pm
I’m hear to tell you, they definitely won’t hang the same way.
DreamsMaterialize
January 18th, 2011
2:33 pm
That example with Dreams was so freaking outlandish that if you are allowing a chick to lay up and run up your credit cards while you work you should be take outback by some other men and get a trashing for allowing such foolishness.
Celisea I agree that a man needs a thrashing for allowing this, but outlandish the example was not. Are there not a whole series of “reality” tv shows based on exactly this type of woman? I’m not saying they’re the norm or that they represent every woman, but they represent enough women to have high ratings from their majority women viewers.
Kym-From the Road
January 18th, 2011
2:34 pm
@Dreams I agree women and men should pick better.
Purple Rain
January 18th, 2011
2:34 pm
Celisea, I am stoking the fire a bit. Except with my last question, it was serious.
Leggs
January 18th, 2011
2:36 pm
I’m here….
kimmie
January 18th, 2011
2:37 pm
Hey Blog Peeps!
So we are on clothes and the roles of men/women of today versus yesteryear?
As far as clothes, I dress for me and the situation. I like looking stylish and classy. That may or may not be inticing, that’s really in the eye of the beholder. Some of today’s mainstream stuff looks trashy to me. That might be okay for a fun evening with my man but not for the office. Above all, I am neat and clean and true to myself.
As for men & women and our roles and what we want/don’t want – well a lot has changed in society and it’s expectations for all. So much is said about what obviously does not work. Not much is said for what DOES work! I think the greatest thing is that both sexes now have OPTIONS that were just not available before. Women and men can be whatever they want to be if they put forth the effort. Women can also CHOOSE to be the traditional homemaker if that’s what she wants and finds a man that wants the same thing from a wife. There are some men that are okay with the woman being the main breadwinner and are okay in a more nurturing role. This does not make him less of a man. Everyone should just get in where they fit in and not try to force their IDEA of what is normal on others! To each his/her own!
Leggs
January 18th, 2011
2:38 pm
There’s an old saying about being picky. Pick, pick, pick, you pick s h y t!
BlackMagicWoman
January 18th, 2011
2:42 pm
PURPLE…nah man. I am not number #1. I’m just messing with ya! Or am I?
As far as dressing….I dress for me because I like the fashions that I wear. I love to dress different and wear things no one else has or would put together. I don’t dress to impress men or women. I like to impress my dayum self!
I love sexy panties just because! My panties much match my bra though.
DreamsMaterialize
January 18th, 2011
2:42 pm
Drerams well could you spread the word to the brotherhood cause I grow weary of beening lumpin with Shoshanna and Rochica.
Seriously though, I know there are wonderful women all around us. I know many, have dated many, and appreciate them fully. I was just responding to a point about men not being real men anymore. I agree with that, but think that the same could be said of both. I will now go out and evangelize the brotherhood so that they too can see the light. 
Kym You’re always Kym to me.
Raqi V
January 18th, 2011
2:43 pm
Laying up charging the cards is not even a desire nor an option in my house. LOL
Raqi V
January 18th, 2011
2:43 pm
Kimmie, I agree. Building and having a happy home is all about doing what works best for the two individuals.
Raqi V
January 18th, 2011
2:45 pm
I agree on the sexy underwear. It makes you feel sexy even when no one knows you are wearing it.
Purple Rain
January 18th, 2011
2:45 pm
Black, I was going to say that is very evil for a woman to just admit to being #1. I would have to not be your friend anymore. LOL
Purple Rain
January 18th, 2011
2:46 pm
This was a serious question.
Serious question, how or when did/does find someone find their sexy. How do they know what feels sexy to them. Was it an experience with another or just one day while being vain
Kym-From the Road
January 18th, 2011
2:47 pm
Dreams don’t forget your collection plate and tip jar.
kimmie
January 18th, 2011
2:47 pm
Leggs – I think a lot of people are uncomfortable with having too many choices. They were more comfortable when there is not much to choose from or if the choice is made for them. They can’t handle OPTIONS. Or, they can’t handle it that others have these options. They liked it better when women/men/races/etc “knew their place”.
Get in where you fit in. If you can’t handle an modern woman, a traditional woman, a modern man, a traditional man, etc – well, you know what you need to do…..
Purple Rain
January 18th, 2011
2:47 pm
Kym, since you are here now…let us talk about the Falcons
Leggs
January 18th, 2011
2:52 pm
@PR ~ here’s my honest answer. I never really felt sexy in my mid 20’s or even 30’s. I found my sexy at 43. It was at that time when I was simply truly, unequivocably happy with myself, my body, my mindset. Feeling sexy isn’t necessarily about vanity. It’s an acceptance of oneself, as well as an appreciation of oneself.
Purple Rain
January 18th, 2011
2:54 pm
Leggs, if you are saying sexy is a state of mind I agree with you.
Leggs
January 18th, 2011
2:55 pm
@PR ~ yes, that’s what I’m saying!
Raqi V
January 18th, 2011
2:58 pm
Purple, I think it’s just part of a person’s make up. You don’t find your sexy you just have it. And the sexy is not really based on what others may or may not like about you. My hub thinks I have sexy legs. That’s all fine and dandy. I like my legs okay. But I think my smile is sexy.
And then overall sexy is more of how you feel. When you feel sexy it’s easier to look sexy.
I would say by the age 12 most little girls think they are cute. By 16 her sexy appeal starts to develop. By 25 she is bold enough to work it. LOL
Raqi V
January 18th, 2011
2:59 pm
Now that doesn’t mean someone can’t make you feel sexy, but I am just saying it’s not something that you can really put your finger directly on.
kimmie
January 18th, 2011
3:00 pm
Leggs/Purple Olive – I agree that self-acceptance and appreciation is vital to one feeling sexy. It has to come from within. I have always had a healthy amount of self-esteem, but I did not feel truly beautiful until I stopped worring about what others thought, especially whatever man was in my life at the time. Or comparing myself to what other’s standards were.
Now I’m truly happy with me and if someone else isn’t, well they know where they can go!!!
Celisea
January 18th, 2011
3:03 pm
PR – To your question I think it resonates from within. There’s a nice feeling with nice/pretty underwear but I don’t think it comes from anything outside, I think it comes from within, where you are and how you feel about yourself. I think the answer may vary depending on the individual.
Leggs
January 18th, 2011
3:04 pm
@kimmie ~ I always would say “I have a healthy dosage of self-esteem!” I don’t believe in sabatoging myself like many do. Nor, do I sabatoge relationships! I grew up watching a friend do exactly that. Best lesson I ever could have experienced!
Purple Rain
January 18th, 2011
3:05 pm
My observation on sexy on a woman is just like a glow. A woman who is comfortable with herself or just happy exudes sexiness to me. That is why I never really had a “type” of woman. The physical attributes or style does not define sexy to me. It is the way she carries herself they way she walks the way she talks just nice and sexy. The panties, tight or nice clothes being made up is all fine and dandy. I love it, but it speaks to the lust hormones. A woman can be sexy covered in mud after running the trails or in the latest from Victoria Secrets or doing hand work.
Purple Rain
January 18th, 2011
3:05 pm
Thanks ladies for answering the question.
kimmie
January 18th, 2011
3:06 pm
Wise – Your post contains one of my biggest pet peeves!!! What’s with this “women in Atlanta” mess??? So your male buddies ONLY run across women that compare men to their fathers, judge men by their station in life or let sex get in the way – IN ATLANTA???? Because really, those 3 habits have been going on since the beginning of time, the world over!!!
Raqi V
January 18th, 2011
3:06 pm
Purple, do you think Jill Scott is sexy?
Purple Rain
January 18th, 2011
3:06 pm
On the other side though, I can not tolerate a woman who doesn’t know how to be sexy. Just a rough and tumble tomboy is a tad to much.
M. (pronouced M dot)
January 18th, 2011
3:07 pm
Mdot is a guy all day and twice on sunday. Ok thats settled. Go BEARS!
Purple Rain
January 18th, 2011
3:07 pm
Raqi, very sexy. She is comfortable with who she is and that is very sexy to me.
Celisea
January 18th, 2011
3:08 pm
Dreams – I called your example outlandish because unless you’ve been in the situation where you was on the grind and had someone just plain trifling eating and absorbing as quickly as you can make it….it’s an extreme example. You don’t strick me as such. I think debate and dialoging can probably be best hashed if realitic examples are used…personal experiences. To throw out a stereotype of the worst kind in a debate where we’re trying to come to a draw will in and of itself cause an imbalance. It’s hard to speak to or debate against an example that you’ve not really even experience but rather used an extreme. We know there are some chicks using dudes but I wouldn’t equate you’re out manning the farms or cotton fields while she’s eating bon bons and running up your credit cards.
Purple Rain
January 18th, 2011
3:08 pm
Tyra Banks not sexy.
Giselle Bundchen is sexy
Angieina Jolie is not sexy.
Purple Rain
January 18th, 2011
3:09 pm
Nia Long sexy
Halle Berry not sexy
SlimNumeroUno
January 18th, 2011
3:10 pm
Did someone summon me —-> Sexy….I IS HERRRRRR
Celisea
January 18th, 2011
3:10 pm
Sexy and cute/pretty are not the same. Sexy is an “ism” you possess…you just have it….