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Bad dating habits you should change this year

I got a stern talking to from my male friends about the bad dating habits that I, and apparently women in Atlanta, should stop immediately. I did not like hearing it. I’m still a little bit salty about the “male intervention” but I promised I would do a dating blog PSA. Perhaps a little tough love could make a difference!

Bad habit #1 Comparing men to your father. Good or bad. Some women adore their fathers and want their men to spoil them like Dad did/does. Then there are women who had awful fathers and believe all men are just like their no-good fathers. Regardless, the men you date should not be unfairly compared or harshly judged by unrealistic expectations. The truth is, all Dads are men/human so they made/make mistakes too.

Bad habit# 2 Judging men by where they are in life. My friends tell me that men feel a huge amount of pressure to be successful. Men won’t go around broadcasting to women that they had setbacks in their past. Who knows what they have already endured to get where they are already? Stop scrutinizing so-called “shortcomings” and focus on character and compatibility.

Bad habit# 3 Let sex get in the way. Women spend too much time stressing on the right/wrong time. Men appreciate a woman who is confident in her choice and respect your decision. Make your choice but don’t play games.

These were the top three bad habits that my friends thinks women should change. What do you think? Would changing these bad habits make a difference for women?

Do you have any bad dating habits that you wish single people would drop?

360 comments Add your comment

abc

January 18th, 2011
1:41 pm

The ’sweetie honey’ thing is just a sign of low class. If it’s good enough for a waitress at the Waffle House, it’s good enough for the guys you hang out with, eh, Sweet Pea. That’s Olive Oyl’s baby’s name, of course. Hm.

SexyCool

January 18th, 2011
1:41 pm

P-Lito – I’m going to add a note that your list can be slightly modified to apply to men as well as women.

And I’m going to add a #11 to your list.

11: Someone who displays one or more of the above traits and does not recognize it or is in denial about it.

Raqi V

January 18th, 2011
1:41 pm

Turns out, most women really cant handle the guy they think they want.

Mdot, neither can most men. You have proved that many times on here. You have cried many times on here about wanting those shiny dimes yet they don’t turn out to be the little docile creatures you want at heart.

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
1:41 pm

Raqi, I am like that old DMX song mindset. I give her what she gave me. No sexual organ has dominance over the other. If anything I have the power because I have the penis.

Leggs

January 18th, 2011
1:41 pm

@Sweet Pea ~ you’ve answered your own question…it’s safe to say sweetie or baby! I don’t think the term is used in the hopes of getting in the bed any quicker.

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
1:43 pm

SexyCool, I was waiting on your response. LOL thing is if a man does any of that stuff, he is really not a “man” LOL

abc, I agree

Raqi V

January 18th, 2011
1:44 pm

LOL SexyCool. Only you would catch that. I totally didn’t put the two together.

SexyCool

January 18th, 2011
1:44 pm

M.Dot – it is so obvious that you are not a Black Woman….because it is evidenced that you know little to nothing about our fantasies.

OH….and your broadstroking of the ALL BLACK WOMEN kind is killing me.
We are not who you see caricatured on tv.
We are not all the same chick.
We do not all fit into the same mold.
You don’t know ALL of us…so, you can never be able to say what ALL of what want, think, will do.

DreamsMaterialize

January 18th, 2011
1:46 pm

Good list Purp.

I asked a guy if he called everyone that and didn’t really get an answer.
Sweet Pea this is because the answer was “YES”. Some dudes use those terms with women like they use “man” with dudes. You pass a cat on the street, you might say, “Hey man, how’s it going?” If it’s a woman, you might say, “Hey miss” or “How’s it going luv”.

Celisea

January 18th, 2011
1:46 pm

…..and most of us are shaking out heads at trash t.v. and are realistically removed from wanting to be apart of, envying, wishing, hoping or view as “the life to be living.”

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
1:47 pm

If you are called a generic nickname from the initial meeting, he is just trying to keep the women straight because he can not remember the names…or he is a pimp. If you get a unique nickname in the beginning that he he thought of with you, that’s different. LOL Nicknames should be unique.

I got busted when myspace was popular. I used to call this one woman I dated kitty(she had a great kitty and she knew why I called her that) then after we broke up the next woman I dated even had a better kitty, so I deemed her kitty as well. Well I never deleted stuff from my myspace page as I saw no need to and the new kitty was just browsing my page and saw that I called the old woman kitty as well. I did not get any kitty at all that night. LOL

M. (pronouced M dot)

January 18th, 2011
1:48 pm

@Raqi V

LOL you are putting up shields. Like I said, most, not all or everybody.

@SC

I never said all! I was saying most and obviously they all arent the same.

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
1:50 pm

Well Raqi is not on the field anymore she is happily married so she can just talk any smack she wants, but it has no merit. LOL

Kym-From the Road

January 18th, 2011
1:50 pm

Oh please don’t tell me I logged into a Adam vs Eve faceoff. I am really getting tired of the whole us vs them thing.

Raqi V

January 18th, 2011
1:51 pm

makeup, certain clothing, etc is all advertising

Purple, that’s where you are wrong again. It’s all in the eye of the beholder. Not every man get rigor mortis in his pants at the sight of a fat butt. And not every woman is trying to get your attention. Again you are the one putting the value on it.

SexyCool

January 18th, 2011
1:52 pm

And as far as “women wanting to be taken care of”, originally, that was the plan, the model.

The men took care of the women and the women took care of the home.

But…now…thanks to the inability to and failure of *many* man to take care of their responsibilities, the feminist movement and the Enjoli jingle, women now are EXPECTED to excel on the job, in the home AND in the bedroom.

And I’m not complaining, it is the direction in which our society has evolved. But…don’t act like it’s a sin against MAN to *want* to be taken care of. And really, IF you have the ability to take care of me…well, then…I guess it makes sense that I would want you to.

DreamsMaterialize

January 18th, 2011
1:53 pm

M.Dot – it is so obvious that you are not a Black Woman
M why does everyone think you’re a woman. You need to nip this in the bud bruh before it gets out of hand.

Sweet Pea

January 18th, 2011
1:54 pm

@SC..LOL only you all know this!!

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
1:54 pm

Raqi, not every man gets hard for other women except his wife. If you were home alone would you still do all of that? Nope, but when you go out you do. You can be presntable and look great without all of the extra stuff. I think it’s mental for a woman to think that a man is putting value on it and he really isn’t. that is kind of like a man saying hello to a woman or holding the door open and she thinks that he is trying to hit on her. hate to burst some bubbles but all men are not controlled by sex, maybe the young guys but the older mature ones are not led by the head between their legs. We all know that the pretty book cover can be a totally boring read.

Raqi V

January 18th, 2011
1:56 pm

but it has no merit
Purple, why does what I say not have merit? I know plenty about dating, mating and waiting. Saying I do does not erase all of our past dating experiences. And it definitely does not make me less woman and him less man.

And if what I say has no merit, neither does anything you say. Uh, you are married, right? LOL

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
1:57 pm

I have always thought M. was a man, never saw a sign of him being a woman. I am right…right?

SexyCool

January 18th, 2011
1:58 pm

Okay…Sweet(ie)…pun intended…(lol)…for my two pennies on your question, the baby/sweetie/darling/luv of it all does not bother me one bit. Now…if he is saying “Hey you”, then I may be concerned that he doesn’t know my name…

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
1:58 pm

Raqi, nope it’s different because you are a woman. A pregnant woman. LOL

Raqi V

January 18th, 2011
1:59 pm

You can be presntable and look great without all of the extra stuff

That’s a personal preference, sweetheart. My looking nice and presentable is not necessarily the next woman’s looking nice and presentable.

Like that big little boy that SexyCool mentioned once. He obviously feels he looks presentable in what he wears where many other men feel that a nicely pressed dress shirt, slacks and nice shoes is presentable.

Some woman eyes are drawn to the big little boy and some are attracted to the more dressier fellow.

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
2:01 pm

Sweetheart? LOL there is a difference in being well groomed/dressed and advertising

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
2:01 pm

“Hooker shoes” and “get’em girl jeans” Just felt like wearing those today huh? LOL

Kym-From the Road

January 18th, 2011
2:02 pm

@Sexy your comment reminded me of the movie Claudine. Women didn’t start out with the whole I am woman hear ne roar. You just do what you got to do to get what you need.

DreamsMaterialize

January 18th, 2011
2:06 pm

The men took care of the women and the women took care of the home.
Problem with this is that taking care of the home isn’t what it used to be. Taking care of the home used to mean feeding the chickens, milking the cows, sometimes being right along side her man in the fields. If you’re doing that (in today’s terms of course), then there’s no limit to what I’ll do to take care of you. But if your idea of taking care of home is sleeping in the first half of the day and running up the credit card the other half, then no way in he!! I’m sigining up for that. I think this is what comes to mind these days when women say they want to be “taken care of.” All the benefits with none of the reciprocity.

Celisea

January 18th, 2011
2:06 pm

I wonder too what the dude is thinking that clean cut (head to toe). Wonder if he got dressed with a woman in mind or if he just likes looking nice….hmmm

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
2:08 pm

Celisea, great thought process :)

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
2:11 pm

Celisea, Eddie Long was thinking of boys though with those muscle shirts and spandex

SexyCool

January 18th, 2011
2:11 pm

DreamsMat – please believe that in today’s terms of course I am on the plantation, out in the fields, toiling, daily.

Raqi V

January 18th, 2011
2:12 pm

Celisea, exactly. Most I guarantee just choose to look nice.

Celisea

January 18th, 2011
2:13 pm

Taking care of the home used to mean feeding the chickens, milking the cows, sometimes being right along side her man in the fields…….But if your idea of taking care of home is sleeping in the first half of the day and running up the credit card the other half

Just wow….that’s a huge stretch. What happen to the years in between….that era when we left the farm and came out of the fields? When men were present in the homes? The years when most homes practiced morality and standards…you know, the 70s, 80s and some of the 90s. You went from from 1920 to space age

SexyCool

January 18th, 2011
2:13 pm

Also….as far as this – your idea of taking care of home is sleeping in the first half of the day and running up the credit card the other half – I am confident that YOU would not pick a woman with that particular idea or belief.

Raqi V

January 18th, 2011
2:13 pm

Purple, whatever dude. LOL

So we all should walk around looking like the Amish or else we are considered advertising? Okay gotcha. LOL

I guess I need to go get me some prairie skirts ’cause I’s married now. LOL

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
2:14 pm

Women love a well dressed man, most men know that so what do more men start to do? Dress well. Because there would have never been a distinction if all men did it. Me I dress well because I am just a sexy mofo and make everything I were look good. LOL

SexyCool

January 18th, 2011
2:14 pm

And Celisea – if we use the same logic that *some* have applied to “Women dressing for other women”…you also have to wonder if “Men dress for other men.”

ijs…

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
2:15 pm

Raqi, yes ankle length skirts, big panties and soft flat shoes and your hair in two pony tails on the side. While you are at it just cover your face and leave a slit for the eyes.

Kym-From the Road

January 18th, 2011
2:16 pm

@Dreams seriously who are these women and why in the name of al that is unholy do you guys keep picking them? While taking care of home no longer means pulling tators and milking cows. It does still mean working everyday, paying bills and buying essentials together. It means standing beside your SO when sick and medical bills pile up. It means holding that person up when they get served with layoff notices. Seriously I am gonna need some of yall to pick better.

Celisea

January 18th, 2011
2:16 pm

Raqi – It’s so dang double on here that it’s not funny. I for one, LOVE a crisp clean cut dude and while he knows he looks good and probably attractive, I doubt he’s got a chick on the brain when dressing.

PR – Your EL comment…you aint right :)

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
2:16 pm

Do women purposely wear clothes that show off their camel toe? Do they do that for self or for other people?

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
2:17 pm

So taking care of home means more than making sure she peaks? LOL

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
2:18 pm

SexyCool of course some men are dressing for other men, you think that they just want to wear skirts and heels? LOL

BlackMagicWoman

January 18th, 2011
2:19 pm

RAQI…you know how I does! :lol:

M Dot…your cousin’s wife is a d*ldo head! :lol:

PURPLE….you trying to call me out on number 1? :lol:

“But…now…thanks to the inability to and failure of *many* man to take care of their responsibilities, the feminist movement and the Enjoli jingle, women now are EXPECTED to excel on the job, in the home AND in the bedroom.”

SCOOL…now look here…I am going to need to you repost that in bold letters! :lol:

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
2:19 pm

If it were socially acceptable I would go outside in my boots, boxers and a cap.

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
2:20 pm

Enjoli jingle?

Leggs

January 18th, 2011
2:20 pm

@PR ~ I’m in stitches over kitty! That was truly funny!

Purple Rain

January 18th, 2011
2:21 pm

Black, you are a #1 type of woman?

DreamsMaterialize

January 18th, 2011
2:21 pm

DreamsMat – please believe that in today’s terms of course I am on the plantation, out in the fields, toiling, daily.
SexyC Then like TI said, “You can have whatever you liiiike…”

You went from from 1920 to space age
Celisea No I didn’t. That’s why I in my post I qualified it by saying:

If you’re doing that (in today’s terms of course), then there’s no limit to what I’ll do to take care of you.”

I am confident that YOU would not pick a woman with that particular idea or belief.
SexyC Of course not…well not intentionally. lol That’s why I said:

But if your idea of taking care of home is sleeping in the first half of the day and running up the credit card the other half, then no way in he!! I’m sigining up for that. ;-)