Bad dating habits you should change this year
I got a stern talking to from my male friends about the bad dating habits that I, and apparently women in Atlanta, should stop immediately. I did not like hearing it. I’m still a little bit salty about the “male intervention” but I promised I would do a dating blog PSA. Perhaps a little tough love could make a difference!
Bad habit #1 Comparing men to your father. Good or bad. Some women adore their fathers and want their men to spoil them like Dad did/does. Then there are women who had awful fathers and believe all men are just like their no-good fathers. Regardless, the men you date should not be unfairly compared or harshly judged by unrealistic expectations. The truth is, all Dads are men/human so they made/make mistakes too.
Bad habit# 2 Judging men by where they are in life. My friends tell me that men feel a huge amount of pressure to be successful. Men won’t go around broadcasting to women that they had setbacks in their past. Who knows what they have already endured to get where they are already? Stop scrutinizing so-called “shortcomings” and focus on character and compatibility.
Bad habit# 3 Let sex get in the way. Women spend too much time stressing on the right/wrong time. Men appreciate a woman who is confident in her choice and respect your decision. Make your choice but don’t play games.
These were the top three bad habits that my friends thinks women should change. What do you think? Would changing these bad habits make a difference for women?
Do you have any bad dating habits that you wish single people would drop?
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360 comments Add your comment
Purple Rain
January 18th, 2011
12:47 pm
Handsome, interesting predicament. I have no advice on the situation except if you love her and you think she loves you back…Make it work somehow.
Celisea
January 18th, 2011
12:48 pm
Well Handsome1, from your 12:44 sounds to me you’re doing the right thing. Did you fallback because of her attitude about her sons or did ya’ll have open free flow dialog? Let her tell you where she sees things differently and you do the same. If it’s just the issue of her kids, then yeah maybe that’s a problem because if ya’ll are gonna be together but her kids or your input will be a problem….I dunno
Purple Rain
January 18th, 2011
12:50 pm
CoolShadow, great post @ 12:46
Raqi V
January 18th, 2011
12:51 pm
Handsome1, the problem is you waited too long to ask a question and you asked they wrong question. LOL
You should have been asking if you should be catching her child up in the collar. LOL I would have told you that she will not like it despite given you the okay to do so.
But seriously, when that type of question is asked I tend to think the person is probably thinking more highly of themselves than they ought. Some people tend to think just because they are in position of certain traits or tangible items they are a great catch and should be accepted with no questions asked. That is not the truth. There is something less desirable about all of us and because you have whatever and is with her does not mean your crap does not stink in her nostrils.
(I didn’t proofread so I hope that all makes sense.)
Celisea
January 18th, 2011
12:52 pm
CoolShadow – I agree….some women….NOT ALL. Maybe that’s not the case for him. Maybe that’s been your experience. If it’s worth making it work then nothing better than communicating and getting it all out there. You NEVER know how many times things unspoken can be the demise of a good thing. It could all very well be petty stuff and just her not knowing a good man but wouldn’t it seem fair if they communicated? After that, and it still doesn’t work, he’s seems to be man enough and big enough to do the needful….whatever that is for him.
Celisea
January 18th, 2011
12:54 pm
But seriously, when that type of question is asked I tend to think the person is probably thinking more highly of themselves than they ought. Some people tend to think just because they are in position of certain traits or tangible items they are a great catch and should be accepted with no questions asked. That is not the truth. There is something less desirable about all of us and because you have whatever and is with her does not mean your crap does not stink in her nostrils.
….AND THIS IS WHY I ASKED….did you ask HER opinion and outlook on how she views you. On what you call accomplished or “possessing it all”….maybe in her eyes it’s not quite all you think or think you’re projecting.
Purple Rain
January 18th, 2011
12:57 pm
Well, I guess everything is up to the man again. LOL
Leggs
January 18th, 2011
12:57 pm
@Handsome1 ~ do you think she’s using you because you are financially sound? She asks your thoughts re her son and then catch an attitude with you. You fall back and now you’re nonchalant. I’ll tell you this, she’ll probably pay you a little more attention due to you being nonchalant. Women don’t like being ignored.
Purple Rain
January 18th, 2011
12:58 pm
Has anyone talked trash about the Lucky Falcants yet?
Celisea
January 18th, 2011
12:58 pm
PR – Get off the FalCANS
Raqi V
January 18th, 2011
12:59 pm
And sweetie…honey…boo if her little “display of hostility” makes you fall back that easy, you two probably aren’t meant for each other. The one about men is they can hear you (us women) and don’t hear. LOL I am laughing but I am serious.
I can get upset about something and the hub will sit there watching TV and pay me no attention. Women are just emotional like that, especially when it comes to our little ones. And it don’t even matter when the guy is the father. I don’t know exactly what it is she did, but expressing some type of hostility is no reason for you to bounce. ‘Cause sweetie-darling that will not be the last time.
Purple Rain
January 18th, 2011
12:59 pm
Why, they are watching the playoffs just like me. LOL
Purple Rain
January 18th, 2011
1:00 pm
sweetie honey boo sweeting darling. LOL
Raqi V
January 18th, 2011
1:01 pm
constantly try to pick a man apart
Handsome1, you have yet to show where she did this. Or maybe I missed one of your comments.
Purple Rain
January 18th, 2011
1:02 pm
Sometimes you do have to let a woman have her little tantrums, just don’t feed into them or give her that much energy. Or you can always knock her up so that you two have a baby together and then you can get emotional with HER about that kid.
Celisea
January 18th, 2011
1:02 pm
Why, they are watching the playoffs just like me. LOL
That was funny….you are bad today I see. FalCANS, FalCANS. I was stressing so Saturday night….man, don’t take me back to that dark place today.
BlackMagicWoman
January 18th, 2011
1:05 pm
I can’t remember who that was but it was one of the guys on here…he was talking about women put too much value on the cashmere. I and a few of the other women told him Nah it’s you menfolk that puts the value on it when you get all stupid trying to get it.
RAQI…I forgot who it was. ButI was the one going on saying that if it werent so valuable then why were many battles started over a woman and why do men lie, scheme and do all kinds of things just to get it? It’s like come on fool….don’t try the reverse psychology on me! It will not work!
CoolShadow….although I have had a couple of Annual 21st B-days. I am not 21 and what I learned through the few years after 21 is: what I want, what I DON’T want, what I will stand for and what I WON’T stand for. Hence the reason my patience and BS tolerance is nill!
Oh yeah and GO JETS!!!!!!!! WHOOOOOO how about that Sanch-ize?
Purple Rain
January 18th, 2011
1:05 pm
I know what the real problem is with Handsome1’s relationship. She just haven’t given him any in the last few days and when us men are used to it regularly and then we don’t get it for a few days we react differently. Some of us hold out and some of us find stuff and make it a big issue when it is really not an issue. LOL
Seriously, if you to live together and you take care of the kids you should have a say so. If not don’t say anything or just stop doing whatever it is you are doing for the kids. When she asked why tell her no say no pay. There your problem is solved
Purple Rain
January 18th, 2011
1:07 pm
I am pulling for the Bears or the Packers. LOL
Raqi V
January 18th, 2011
1:07 pm
did you ask HER opinion and outlook on how she views you
Celisea, exactly. And it’s not so much as how she views what he has accomplished but more so of those accomplishments does not automatically make you a great catch. Some women think they have a great guy because he has this, that and the other in tangible items but when it comes to relating with the opposite sex he doesn’t have what it take.
That’s no different than a woman with a pretty face and paying her own way not automatically being good girlfriend material. It just doesn’t work like that.
It kinda reeks of the “you should feel privileged to be with me” syndrome.
DreamsMaterialize
January 18th, 2011
1:08 pm
Raqi that discussion about the value of puddy…was that the same one about “old puddy at new puddy prices”? That might have been Truth if I remember correctly. Dudes do drive the value up on some ol bs.
handy the kids are always a tricky matter to navigate. Women are always defensive about their kids, and rightfully so. You can’t entrust your kids’ well-being to just anyone. So, even with a righteous cat, they will have some misgivings initially. Those misgivings subside over time as you show and prove that you’re the man for the job. If you want to be with her (and her kid), then keep doing your job and she’ll eventually let go of those hostilities you talked about.
Raqi V
January 18th, 2011
1:08 pm
LOL BlackMagic You are correct, it was you that was stomping them out.
Purple Rain
January 18th, 2011
1:09 pm
Find a woman with no kids.
Purple Rain
January 18th, 2011
1:10 pm
LOL at the womens side of the story about men putting values on sex when women do the exact same thing….even more so than men.
Purple Rain
January 18th, 2011
1:11 pm
old puddy ant new puddy prices. LOL, that is funny.
CoolShadow
January 18th, 2011
1:11 pm
@Celisea
Point taken, I should’ve used the qualifier, “some women”, because I wasn’t trying to say all women in my 12:46.
M. (pronouced M dot)
January 18th, 2011
1:13 pm
@Handsome1
The answer to your question is simple. Alot of women are so used to losing that they dont know when they are winning.
Raqi V
January 18th, 2011
1:14 pm
Nah DreamsM, it wasn’t Truth. That old versus new is all crap just the same but it wasn’t him. I think I remember who it was now.
And on this -> So, even with a righteous cat…heck even with the child’s dad. I spank Elizabet for something a least once a week and I mean what I say and do. But her dad has spanked her maybe twice in all her life and it broke my heart. But that’s just how it is. I didn’t fuss with him about it because he is her dad and he was right for doing it but most mothers have that tender spot when it comes to their babies.
Celisea
January 18th, 2011
1:14 pm
I remember. Folks try to act all casual about the kitty and how you should casually hand it out but at the same time it’s the guage used in basing lady versus wh@re. Or, saying women try to sell old kitty at new kitty prices. That’s why (ladies) don’t listen to folks telling you to throw caution to the why and with every dude that breathes your way. They’ll be the first to sit in judgement.
Raqi – It kinda reeks of the “you should feel privileged to be with me” syndrome.
A person could potentially good mate but I agree we all have something about us that’s not so good to someone else. Getting a balance and another’s perspective just may be the eye opener needed.
Purple Rain
January 18th, 2011
1:14 pm
The answer is all women are crazy to some extent and you are even crazier for thinking there is a definitive way of figuring them out. LOL
CoolShadow
January 18th, 2011
1:15 pm
@BlackMagicWoman
I’m glad you’ve figured it out, but when someone takes a stance on an issue then takes an action or says something that contradicts their own so-called belief system, then I question where they really stand or what they really want.
Raqi V
January 18th, 2011
1:19 pm
Purple, you are a farm boy so you should know when a farmer is position of a lamb he can give it away at whatever price he feels he wants to. The fact that other farmers are giving theirs away for lower cost and even sometimes free has no bearing on what that one particular farmer does with his. If you want it you will only get it at his price.
The problem with a bunch of you menfolk is yall think because you can get at the piggly wiggly next to nothing, the entire market should lower its standards. Sorry…that’s not the case.
Celisea
January 18th, 2011
1:22 pm
….or because you’re not as easy to hand it out, you’re placing TOO much value on it because THEIR past experience has been someone giving it up with the quickness.
Leggs
January 18th, 2011
1:22 pm
@M. ~ you’re right!
Leggs
January 18th, 2011
1:24 pm
@Raqi V – you’re right!
@Celisea ~ you’re right too!!!!
Purple Rain
January 18th, 2011
1:27 pm
Raqi, I said it last week and I will say it again. You don’t have to advertise when something has a good value. A man has no problem paying top shelf prices for a top shelf product.
Purple Rain
January 18th, 2011
1:27 pm
Types of women to avoid:
10: The woman who is obsessed with getting married(She overlooks obvious signs of a bad guy just to get married)
9: The woman who is always looking for a fight. (Nothing is ever easy with her everything is a battle)
8: The woman who needs to be handle with glove. (To sensitive and fragile her whole life story is just how she has been hurt)
7: The woman who really needs to cover up. (Stop dressing like a teenager and dress like a lady)
6:The woman who is a constant drag. (She is always negative)
5: The woman who can’t shut up. (always talking and only sees her point of view and it is always right)
4:The woman who just takes and takes and takes( Pretty on the outside but on the inside only looking out for her own interests)
3:The woman who has nothing to say(She values others opinions over her own)
2:The women who is one big mind game(She cant decide what is good for her or not and does not know if she is coming or going)
1:The woman who is just plain evil(She comes in a normal package but as you get to know her you see the real her..she;s the kind that if heartbroken would find a way to trump up some charges and send you to prison)
M. (pronouced M dot)
January 18th, 2011
1:28 pm
@Leggs
Im just saying. I have known women who were in situations that some women would love to be in and the women who were there still werent satisfied and happy.
Turns out, most women really cant handle the guy they think they want.
My cousin took care of his wife, paid all the bills, gave her everything, and she didnt even have to work. She cheated on him and her excuse was that he always was working and never home!
Purple Rain
January 18th, 2011
1:30 pm
M., you know that these women on here are going to find a way to smack it up flip it rub it down to twist what you are saying. Just let them think all of dating and the worlds problems are men’s fault. LOL, just reading the blog you can see how women over thing a situation with a man. LOL
Leggs
January 18th, 2011
1:30 pm
@M. ~ I’m hearing what you’re saying. I too have seen it first hand. Women sabotage their own relationships with greed and lack of appreciation. Same way men do it!
M. (pronouced M dot)
January 18th, 2011
1:31 pm
@Purple Rain
I think you eliminated most women with this list lol
Sweet Pea
January 18th, 2011
1:31 pm
Another habit I wish would be stopped!
Calling someone Sweetie or Baby instead of their name during conversations in the getting acquainted stage. We don’t really know each other nor are we in a relationship to get that comfortable in doing so!!
Guys, what’s up with that as an inquiring mind wants to know? I asked a guy if he called everyone that and didn’t really get an answer.
Ladies, has this happened to you? What are your thoughts about it?
My thought was that it may be that you’ve talked to so many women that you’d rather call them that to avoid a slip up or perhaps this is your way of seeing how far you can go to get someone to bed!
Purple Rain
January 18th, 2011
1:32 pm
M., exactly…you just have to pick your poison. Cause at some point we are all going to die and I am sure that death can br traced to some women somewhere. LOL
Purple Rain
January 18th, 2011
1:32 pm
Battle of the sexes. Bring it!
Leggs
January 18th, 2011
1:36 pm
@M. ~ I can stand before you and proudly say I’m not on that list (LOL)!!
SexyCool
January 18th, 2011
1:38 pm
Sweet Pea – it is SO interesting that you would have a problem with that particular practice given the screen/blog name that you chose.
M. (pronouced M dot)
January 18th, 2011
1:38 pm
@Leggs
LOL true but the difference with guys is they are logical. If they in a good situation, some may mess it up, but most guys wont because its hard to find a woman who has most of what you are looking for so they know when they are winning.
I think a big problem with alot of women is they want what they see on tv rather than being happy with their situation with a guy even if its great. Thats why shows like The Game, RHOA and Basketball Wives are so popular because Kelsey Grammar knows that for some BW, thats their fantasy:
1. Meet an athlete
2. Get married and have his kids
3. Be set for life and never work again
4. If he divorces I can at least get child support.
5. Have a reality show on why her life was so bad and what man wants her and her baggage ( I see you Chilli
The funny thing is for other women, this is their reality. You wont ever see Tom Brady, Peyton Manning, and Drew Bree’s wives doing these shows. Its their reality not a fantasy
Raqi V
January 18th, 2011
1:39 pm
Purple, who said anything about advertising? A woman does not have say anything or show anything for you menfolk to be tripping because she ain’t giving up the goods. You all up the value whether you think so or not.
Purple Rain
January 18th, 2011
1:39 pm
Leggs, you sure you don;t have a few numbers on that list? LOL
Be honest I bet you know some women who are on that list more than once.
Purple Rain
January 18th, 2011
1:40 pm
Raqi, makeup, certain clothing, etc is all advertising.