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Dating: Actions speak louder?

I’ve met and dated some really “charismatic” men in my day. I’m talking about the smooth, slick, totally engaging type that could convince you of just about anything. Oh they can make you swoon for days. It’s all fun and games until all that lip service they served is not backed up by actions!

I don’t know if we really grasp the idea that actions hold the most value when you are trying to get to know someone. I think it’s normal for people to talk a good game but how do you know who is playing to win?

If someone doesn’t back up their words with actions, do you think they are trustworthy?

267 comments Add your comment

Celisea....above the fray

January 10th, 2011
8:11 am

Morning snow bunnies!

All talk and no actions slams the door shut. One thing about a person talking just to hear noise, you won’t have to wait long to see they’re not about a thing…it gets old real quick unless you find yourself to be a dream catcher and quite frankly I’m not into make believe. Word is bond. If you’re not a man of your word, what else is the
re?

DreamsMaterialize

January 10th, 2011
9:09 am

Morning
Snow don’t stop the show around here…working from home.

On topic: Act first, talk later. I’d rather we be talking about what I did than about what I can do.

DreamsMaterialize

January 10th, 2011
9:11 am

Celisea How are you this morning?

czBrat

January 10th, 2011
9:32 am

HiYas

is attendance nil this morning? i thought everyone would be snowed in from work :?:

on topic: the more “talk” you get from jump, the greater chance there will be little to no action. imo, few things are less attractive than shameless horn-tootin.

DreamsMaterialize

January 10th, 2011
9:38 am

Sup czBrat. I think the snow got everyone jammed up. I see you on the plantation though. lol

czBrat

January 10th, 2011
10:02 am

no sir. playin from home. :)

Willie Dynamite

January 10th, 2011
10:11 am

Morning All,

Dreams – Looks like you in need of a good WingMan this morn with the Ladies.

On Topic – Actions are a results of standards. If you allow anyone Male/Female to get any portion of your time based on words alone then of course you get just that. The thing is most people ACCEPT the jaw-jacking until heartbreak or tom-foolery forces them to demand concrete Actions. Even then from time to time a good talk game can get you almost anything from certain people. A sizable (and growing) part of the population thrives on that fact perpetuating and fueling the Misadventures.

kimmie

January 10th, 2011
10:12 am

Snow Jam 2011!!!!

What’s up, gang? Blogging from SO’s house. Been on the phone with the team & boss all morn. One SUPER-DEDICATED lady decided to come to work this morn! :( Even security was not at the building, lady!! I knew if anyone was there, she would. I called her desk and bingo! I sent her crazy self HOME!!! We got folks on the West Coast that can cover our work!

On topic – Brat summed it up best for me. The more smooth talk there is, the less walk! Not interested!

Sup Dreams, Brat, Celisea? Some of my favorite blog buddies up in the blog snow cabin with me today! :)

2CPTG

January 10th, 2011
10:20 am

g’morning…..

ya gotta hear the talk game first, before you can get to the action part! If his talk game is relevant, then you’ll get to see if his actions line up…so don’t immediately dismiss the smooth talker…gotta start somewhere.

czBrat

January 10th, 2011
10:21 am

Some of my favorite blog buddies up in the blog snow cabin with me today!
awwww, kimmie. you’re just the sweetness!

good to see the playground filling up. think we’ve got enough bloggers for a snowball fight? i was gonna pitch one upside C’s head as soon as i got in, but i think she went back inside where it’s warm and toasty. LOL

Willie Dynamite

January 10th, 2011
10:29 am

2Can – Mayne you just said a mouth full. Helluva catch 22 especially for the Ladies. Mr. Smooth Talker keeps shooting and never runs outta bullets. The so called ‘good guy’ may not have the talk game and can barely get his foot in the door.

kimmie

January 10th, 2011
10:31 am

2C – I don’t immediately dismiss the smooth talker. I’d rather the smooth approach than the “flasher” types we’ve discussed on here as of late. The talk just gets old when not backed up with actions.

Brat – I threw some snow at everyone on the way to the cabin! Chickens won’t come outside now!!!

2CPTG

January 10th, 2011
10:36 am

Willie D, you feel where I’m coming from…..somma these gals puttin the cart before the horse! I mean you gotta hear the sales pitch to see if you wanna buy what he’s selling….

czBrat

January 10th, 2011
10:36 am

the thing is, i really don’t want to hear the shpeel. the things i really need/want to know about you will show themselves. if I am interested, i’ll stick around long enough to clearly show you who i am and thoroughly figure out who you are.

kimmie

January 10th, 2011
10:39 am

Willie D – Then the so-called good guy needs to find his voice and speak up! Nobody will know he’s supposed to be a good guy. Everyone has to sell themselves. Nobody can do it for you! Get so tired of hearing about the poor pityful good guy that can’t get no play. Dudes like that always put the blame on women, when they need to look in the mirror and take accountability.

True “good guys” don’t have any problem attracting women.

2CPTG

January 10th, 2011
10:41 am

Kimmie…the talk gets old? then ask ya’self, how long is the talking going on before you give dude a shot to implement his game plan?

Ladies, y’all cain’t say his actions ain’t lining up, if you ain’t giving him a shot!

Leggs

January 10th, 2011
10:45 am

Good morning. The NYer in me that knows how to brave a storm made me get me up get dressed this morning, only to say WTF. I’m not going to be one of those brave souls out there trying to get to work to better my company’s productivity (LOL).

“I don’t know if we really ‘grasp” the idea that actions hold the most value…” I think many of us do grasp this, and that’s why we cut the BS down more quickly. We are no longer willing to sit back and watch and listen in the hopes that what we “think” we see and feel is not real. It’s ok to give someone the benefit of the doubt, but when you feel your feelings and desires are being neglected more and more, it’s time to sit back and be honest with yourself. Nothing wrong with calling BS on the play!

Blogging with the comfort of my snuggie. (To be honest, this thing is very cumbersome)!

2CPTG

January 10th, 2011
10:47 am

brat…..”the thing is, i really don’t want to hear the shpeel. the things i really need/want to know about you will show themselves.”

how will you know if dude can’t speak up…..there’s a million “good dudes” somewhere in the corner, sittin back watchin the “smooth talker” pull all the females, while he’s sittin somewhere by himself trynna drink enough liquid courage to get up the balls to approach a female…by the time he feels he’s ready to approach, the damn lights comin on……chumps oughta finish last!

czBrat

January 10th, 2011
10:48 am

believe it or not, 2can, it often has much more to do with how a man carries and presents himself than a recitation of his dating resume. and i’m sure you fellas have had similar experiences with women. most of those who have developed the best “sales pitch” have had to do so specifically because their actions don’t get the job done.

well dang, kimmie. nothing but fuddy-duddies out today. wanna go make snow angels? :)

Willie Dynamite

January 10th, 2011
10:49 am

Kimmie – I am by no means an advocate for the ’so-called good guy’ that cant compete. I dont sympathize with the woe is me congregation. Personally I am a full grown Wolf and never had any problem attracting/getting/keeping.

2Can – I’m withchu bruh. I also know enough to know that alotta times you dont even need the Sales Pitch. Ladies are sooo good at running their mouths themselves (of course none of our blog ladies) that all you have to do is shut up and dont talk you way out of anything. See nowadays the tables are turning and Dudes are making these chicks show and prove and quite frankly alot are coming up short. The no good dudes have already been exposed throughout time and now the Chicks are having to deal with the scrutiny.

Leggs

January 10th, 2011
10:51 am

Haaa haaa haaa, not even Blogsville is closed. Loving it! Everyone have on their thick sweaters, hot, spiked chocolate in hand. YUMMY!

@2C ~you’re absolutely right. If you ain’t giving him a shot, you can’t complain. I speak from giving him a chance and he opts to act a fool, talk like a fool and then still expect outstanding treatment. That’s when you draw the curtain!

2CPTG

January 10th, 2011
10:51 am

“See nowadays the tables are turning and Dudes are making these chicks show and prove and quite frankly alot are coming up short.”

Amen!!!!!

Leggs

January 10th, 2011
10:53 am

It’s early, but I’ve washed my hair this morning, curled it, now, going to get an early glass of wine! This spiked hot chocolate isn’t cutting the mustard….

czBrat

January 10th, 2011
10:55 am

personally, 2can, it’s that quiet guy in the corner that i will make eye contact with and encourage him to step up. an “i got this” swag is sexy as he!!, true. but once the smooth talker’s pre-packaged rap begins it’s an immediate turn off. but that’s just me.

kimmie

January 10th, 2011
10:56 am

2C – Who said he wasn’t getting a shot? Isn’t that what this topic is about, dudes that talk the talk but don’t follow thru? Sounds like he’s been given more than enough time to implement his plan!

I’ve had dudes talk to me all day on the phone, for weeks, say they want to take me here, there and do this & that and never make any definite plans. I’ve even suggested we meet, do, etc. Never follow thru. So I assumed they were not interested and were just talk, maybe already had a girlfriend or something. While he’s trying to figure things out, I’ve moved on to the dude who’s a man of his word.

Really not that difficult, unless you’re trying to juggle and play games.

kimmie

January 10th, 2011
11:02 am

See nowadays the tables are turning and Dudes are making these chicks show and prove and quite frankly alot are coming up short.”

No dude ever MADE me do jack! We play show & tell & prove TOGETHER or there’s no deal. Yeah, you’re right, a lot came up REAL short!

Brat – Yeah, they all tired. Snow angels it is!!!!

Leggs

January 10th, 2011
11:03 am

@kimmie ~ I’m experiencing the same thing. You have no choice but to K.I.M…it’s only difficult and emotinally draining for those who decide to keep walking the walk with that same limp dude hoping his gait will improve…

kimmie

January 10th, 2011
11:08 am

2C – Plus, just me, but the quiet dudes sitting off in the corner never attracted me. Me & my family & friends are all loud and outgoing. It’s okay if he’s a man of few words, but he better get off his duff and get in the mix or this train is moving on! My SO is cool and calm, but he goes after what he wants.

kimmie

January 10th, 2011
11:09 am

same limp dude hoping his gait will improve…

:lol: LOL!!!

Leggs, the visual I’m imagining on this is hillarious!!!!

2CPTG

January 10th, 2011
11:10 am

“My SO is cool and calm, but he goes after what he wants.”

that’s how it should be……nothing comes to sleepers, but dreams!

Leggs

January 10th, 2011
11:12 am

@kimmie ~ LOL…now, you have me thinking of his bedroom performance and not just his “getting to know you” performance. :lol: :lol:

Leggs

January 10th, 2011
11:15 am

@2C ~ not necessarily true. Some sleepers wake up and snatch good prey from those who think their modus operandi is on point….case in point, TheDude swooped in and took SexyC back to his nest cuz her date at the time fell short! :lol: :lol: SexyC, I immediately thought of you.

kimmie

January 10th, 2011
11:19 am

nothing comes to sleepers, but dreams!

2C – I like that!!!

Leggs

January 10th, 2011
11:21 am

I always think of movies when I hear the word “sleepers.” Most of them make millions! Pay attention to those sleepers. May be a diamond in the ruff. :lol:

czBrat

January 10th, 2011
11:26 am

i cannot believe i just played an online game until my eyes literally hurt. :(

and to clarify. yeah, i like the quiet, unassuming guy. don’t take that to mean he’s a wuss. notice i never said I would approach HIM in the corner. i give him the go ahead and he get’s to work. otherwise …. too bad, so sad.

nothing comes to sleepers, but dreams!
and bed sores.

kimmie

January 10th, 2011
11:27 am

Leggs – Those that make millions – they are not really sleepers, they are NERDS! And every nerd I know makes bank! They are not flashy with the women, but they usually come out on top there too!

All the little nerds I know and work with have cute wives & families!

czBrat

January 10th, 2011
11:28 am

TheDude swooped in and took SexyC back to his nest cuz her date at the time fell short!
oh no you diint! LOL

Frugal Chef

January 10th, 2011
11:30 am

kimmie

January 10th, 2011
11:32 am

Brat – Yeah, long as he goes after what he wants, it’s all good!

Too bad, so sad – The kids get so mad when I say that! :lol:

czBrat

January 10th, 2011
11:33 am

they are not really sleepers, they are NERDS! And every nerd I know makes bank! They are not flashy with the women, but they usually come out on top there too!

All the little nerds I know and work with have cute wives & families!

that is all.

(kimmie, s/o HATES it when i call him “corporate”!! LMAO)

Leggs

January 10th, 2011
11:33 am

@kimmie ~ they’re called “sleepers” cuz the movie industry didn’t think they would make lots of movie at the box office, then they slide into first place. Much like “Your Wife Didn’t Know, but “Your Wife Knows More.” It’s a race to the finish, and a lot of “sleepers” come up from their yawn.

If you guys didn’t know about the horse race, what I just said will make no sense to you. (lol)

@czB ~ it was a compliment to SexyC’s man sitting in the corner mapping out his strategy and following thru! :lol: :lol:

DreamsMaterialize

January 10th, 2011
11:34 am

Thing is that, while I go after what I want, I require the same in a woman.

kimmie

January 10th, 2011
11:36 am

Leggs – Gotcha!

Brat/Leggs – I loves me some nerds, always have!

Purple Rain

January 10th, 2011
11:54 am

How are you all enjoying that warm weather and nice light snow down there. LOL

On Topic: I don’t have to advertise. A quality person recognizes a quality product. Top notch people, stores or venues don’t have to advertise or have a publicity stunt to get interest. I stay true to me..talk low, slow and effective all the while carrying a big stick. (not a sexual innuendo this time)

Purple Rain

January 10th, 2011
11:56 am

It is a nice slightly chilly -2 as in negative two here…business as usual LOL

Leggs

January 10th, 2011
11:59 am

Any talk of a carrying a “big stick” is a sexual innuendo on this blog!

You know, I know what I’m going after, and when I find who’s going after the same thing, we will be fizzing together like “pop rocks.”

czBrat

January 10th, 2011
11:59 am

very well said, reign! how the heck are ya?

(not a sexual innuendo this time)
yeah right.

Purple Rain

January 10th, 2011
12:00 pm

Leggs, carrying a big stick is meant as being able to back up what you say at all times. LOL

Purple Rain

January 10th, 2011
12:02 pm

Canal Zone! :) I am well, how have you been?

Purple Rain

January 10th, 2011
12:03 pm

For me if I see to much posturing from a woman or a bunch of talk it is a turn off or I am just looking at her in a “short term” way.