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What makes someone marriage material?

I think it’s really interesting that the happy couples I know admit that they did not foresee marriage when they first met. I even remember one couple saying they downright disliked each other upon introduction!

If you can go from utter dislike to tumbling head over heels, I’d say that’s proof positive that we don’t always know what we are looking for in a future partner. Even if we claim to know what makes someone marriage material, would we be able to tell if someone had it or not?

I used to think that anyone who desires to be married is marriage material! Do you think it’s that simple, though?

How do you know if you are marriage material? How do your ideas about love, marriage and what you expect from them play a role in all of this?

428 comments Add your comment

SlimNumeroUno

January 6th, 2011
8:36 am

Morning….THERE IS NO LIFE BEFORE COFFEE ;-)

Tracey

January 6th, 2011
8:42 am

Wouldn’t you have to married to qualify an answer? Whether you’ve been together a long time, engaged or significantly othered, none of those qualify. That sort of rings to the tune of “almost pregnant.” Either you are or aren’t. If you don’t have marriage as proof positive it’s yet another opinion to solidify the reasoning behind many unattached individuals.

Steven Q. Stanley

January 6th, 2011
8:42 am

If you are a woman over 30 then a man with a job who won’t beat you should be good enough. You missed your chance to land a quality man by being too selective, or there is something wrong with your personality that causes good men to not want to be with you.

SlimNumeroUno

January 6th, 2011
8:47 am

SQS – Here have some of my special brew. ;-)

Kym

January 6th, 2011
8:48 am

Good Morning All,

I have absolutely no idea if I am marriage material..because I would think you wouldn’t know if you can pass the test until you are tested and as for Me, Myself and I well I am not looking to take that test. If it happens..it will shock the sugar out of me that’s for sure.

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SlimNumeroUno

January 6th, 2011
8:51 am

On topic – As far as being ‘marriage material’, I don’t believe there is going to be a cut and dry answer. Anyone could be marriage material based on what their thoughts about marriage should and is supposed to be. If you are with someone who shares the same definition, values, ideals etc then according to that you WOULD be. For some, a marriage can be Open where you both have the option to invite others into your bedroom. For some, it may mean the wife is the domestic & submissive entity of the partnership, whilst the man is the dominate breadwinning head of household. For others, it may be simply a business/political/religious decision for a public persona….and the list goes on. I believe folks view marriage differently than it was years ago….not saying it’s right or wrong, but times are a bit different than they were in the past.

Celisea

January 6th, 2011
8:54 am

Morning,

When I’m talking or interacting with someone, I don’t really think in terms of being marriage material. I guess if I had to think in terms of being marriage material, I would think of my moms and pop…they did it once and until one departed this life. Further to that, I don’t really think in those terms. Heck even if you did or already is, you won’t know until you stick it out. I mean if we’re talking getting someone down the alter or in front of a preacher, folks do that all day but then a year or so later or a few bumps down the road and they’re calling it quits. I don’t think you can think in terms of marriage material ahead of getting married. I don’t think though I’m following the course of today’s topic though :)

Raqi V

January 6th, 2011
8:56 am

Being marriage material and having someone marry you are not always the same.

Many people marry and you know…well…

Some people meet someone, get to know them, fall in love with them, and think they want to spend the rest of their days together…to find out after the fact that person does not have what it takes or rather have no desire to be what it takes to be someone’s spouse. The ability to be is not unattainable. Folks just do and be what they choose to do and be.

In my opinion AND what I have learned to be true being in my second marriage, it takes a spirit of willingness, cooperation, compromise and sacrifice to be and stay married. As well as love, loyalty, unity, compassion, friendship, forgiveness and trust if you want that marriage, your partner and yourself to be happy.

Marriage is not just a partnership it’s a fusing merger. One entity. If you cannot possess the willingness to be one with another individual you are probably not marriage material.

Yeah, yeah, yeah we meet people that are so awesome and special that we cannot imagine living without. But the more important thing is can you live with them. Can they live with you? Are you cut out for what it’s going to take to live in matrimony.

Raqi V

January 6th, 2011
8:57 am

Many times most don’t even think about or even realize the reality of everyday togetherness when agreeing to marry. All most really have in sight at the time is ‘I love this person and want to be with them’. And most miss the No more me and you but us. No more mine and yours but ours.

While it is really the right of the two individuals to do what works for them, however marriage is truly a forsake all others deal. Truly.

I would love to say that I had this all figured out before saying ‘I do’ 5 years ago. But I would be lying if I said that. I have had my moments of “Wow” and not always in a good way.

I have had to emotionally and mentally step to the side and recollect my good senses and sanity. A spouse will make you want to choke the snot out of them if you don’t watch yourself. It can get trying. LOL
But we choose to stay. :smile: It’s worth it. Those little tiffs and bumps are merely the battles of the personalities of two fools with a misunderstanding learning to be one.

I don’t know if many of you have ever noticed but couples married 45, 50, 60 years have very few disagreements. In fact they pretty much are on one accord. Of one mind. Sharing the same thoughts. For many it is not a cover up. It’s years of peeling off layers selfishness and individuality and growing communal skin. Bonding.

Love, admiration, adoration, infatuation and lust aside…it takes the willingness and perseverance to be one that’s the cloth of marriage.

Delight23...loving the fresh start

January 6th, 2011
8:57 am

Morning Peoples!!

Wise Diva I think for the new year a stronger troll repelant is in order…just sayin’.

Y'all are Kidz

January 6th, 2011
8:58 am

That’s a dumb question. Everybody’s marriage material if someone is willing to put up with the other’s crap. Take me f’rinstance. I’m physically attractive to most women, healthy and extremely active. I volunteer, I love kids, I have season opera tickets and listen to WABE almost exclusively. Some Chicks dig that.
Now on the other hand, I have 7 motorcycles, like to ride with the brothas and sistas on the south side when I can. I have some significant sexual kinks. I am extremely opinionated and like for the woman I’m with to worship me. Even more Chicks dig that.

Delight23...loving the fresh start

January 6th, 2011
8:59 am

On topic – As far as being ‘marriage material’, I don’t believe there is going to be a cut and dry answer. Anyone could be marriage material based on what their thoughts about marriage should and is supposed to be..

*Ditto. The cut depends on the cookie.

Raqi V

January 6th, 2011
9:02 am

Love is blind but marriage has clear vision.

I understand now when my dad tells me to obey the marriage. My and the hub have a difference of opinions but if and when we obey and do what’s good for the marriage it works itself out. When we don’t it usually comes up again.

Celisea

January 6th, 2011
9:02 am

Y’all are kidz – Did you just do an ad on youself? lol You should move that paragraph of advertisement over to Eharmony or the Purple Cow (is that still in circulation) or one of those places that advertises.

G

January 6th, 2011
9:02 am

It seems fewer people are getting married nowadays…..just shacking up. However, I have a late 30s buddy who is getting married for the 2nd time (no kids). Actually, it’s a group of us that are single with no kids, and never married. But my buddy really enjoys the marriage “lifestyle”. He never really felt all that comfortable with the singles scene. Even though his maturity is tempered to settling down and compromising in relationships, I think he’s getting married moreso because he disires the lifestyle and doesn’t want to be single anymore. My observation is that he is “over-compromising” just to make things work. I think he and his fiance’ are both marriage candidates, I just hope they are yoked for each other and not just because they feel it’s time they get married. Just because two people are ready for marriage, and good people, doesn’t mean they are right for each other.

Mom of young adults

January 6th, 2011
9:05 am

My daughter’s boyfriend came over for Christmas…he was unable to find our house with either an address or detailed directions and had a meltdown because he got lost and she had to drive out and meet him and have him follow her home…sorry fellas but if you aren’t resourceful enough to figure out how to use a GPS or Mapquest then you should be stricken from the list…unless you can find a woman who actually wants to be your mom…and then he couldn’t even be bothered to bring his own dishes to the kitchen after eating much less help out with clean up (strike 2 & 3).

DreamsMaterialize

January 6th, 2011
9:06 am

How do you know if you are marriage material?
I’m not marriage material because right now I’m not interested in marriage. If I were interested in marriage, I wouldn’t think in terms of being marriage material anyway. I just try to be the best person I can be, treat the ladies with respect, be a man of my word, and take it from there.

Y'all are Kidz

January 6th, 2011
9:07 am

C – No, I’m unavailable.lol I’m just trying to say, that with every good there’s a weird and it’s all a matter of balance. I would never even date a woman without many of those same conflicting attributes. And she better understand that it’s MY kitchen.

Celisea

January 6th, 2011
9:09 am

Y’all are Kidz – LOL…you’re a good sport this morning :)

ATL Guy

January 6th, 2011
9:10 am

Willing to let the Female take you for everything you’ve got … what’s Mine is Her’s & whats Her’s is Her’s !!! Who signs up for this!?

Raqi V

January 6th, 2011
9:12 am

Celisea, I agree with a good portion of what you are saying.

I view it like this. There a many doctors in the world. There are many that entered college and med school in hopes of being a doctor. Some for whatever reason never made it thru. Some made it and hold the degree however have a very weak practice. Some on the other hand are really good physicians.

Some find that the studies are too hard. Some find the hours to be too long. Some found they did not have the heart and sound mind to take it. While their desire was to be they were not doctor material. No perseverance, no willingness, no heart for the matter.

Then look at all those unlawful “practicing” physicians. Don’t have degree the first and trying to perform medical procedures out of the back of their house. Obviously something is missing that they can’t get the permission they need to be a real doctor.

I used a striving physician but there are many other areas where some people are just not cut out to do certain things that I can IMO relate to marriage.

2CPTG

January 6th, 2011
9:14 am

G’morning…..

forgot what I was gonna say…

Raqi V

January 6th, 2011
9:14 am

G, I like what you wrote. And I agree.

Splenda

January 6th, 2011
9:15 am

Steven Q. Stanley – I bet you are single…something wrong with that personality of yours!

lovelyliz

January 6th, 2011
9:16 am

There’s no sure way to make sure that someone is marriage material. It’s much easier to determine when they are not.

Chelle

January 6th, 2011
9:19 am

You can’t ‘cut & paste’ yourself or anyone to make them marriage material. Those that want to be married should pray about it because it’s not for everyone. Don’t ever think it’s all peaches & cream like you see it portrayed on tv/movies. I’ve heard it’s a job and you must work together & be equally yoked. There’s no definition for ‘marriage material’ in the dictionary..but for those married or engaged good luck. Have a great day everyone :)

2CPTG

January 6th, 2011
9:21 am

do blog marriages count? If so, I’m well qualified!

Raqi V

January 6th, 2011
9:21 am

For all the football lovers…LOL

You all know every young stud that makes it to college ball is not pro ball material.

Some are not able to take and give what’s needed to go pro or even stay in pro ball. Aren’t cut out for it.

In marriage you have to give in some ways you don’t want to and you have to take in some ways you don’t want. The key is it being balanced between the two individuals involved.

Now imma go try to go back to sleep.

Raqi V

January 6th, 2011
9:22 am

2CPTG, you are a nut. LOL

Celisea

January 6th, 2011
9:22 am

Raqi – Pretty good analysis

lovelyliz – You know…I think I agree with that.

AmazonRed™ - dragging...

January 6th, 2011
9:23 am


What makes someone marriage material?

Someone marrying you I guess…

Morning all.

abc

January 6th, 2011
9:28 am

Consider the term ‘marriage material’ as ‘____________ material’. You’re college material if you have the interest and can do the work; you’re athletic material if you’re good enough to be competitive and have the nature for it; you’re management material if you demonstrate leadership and effectiveness in getting things done with groups of people.

You’re marriage material if you are able to attract a potential mate to which you can truly commit, putting their interests ahead of your own.

Raqi V

January 6th, 2011
9:36 am

I have one last one then I am really going to sleep.

Not every woman that can spread eagle, get knocked up and give birth is good mother material. i.e. Susan Smith. Period. LOL

You may have the tools to make a baby but you better have love for your kids and good common sense with it.

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
9:38 am

Good morning!

@SlimNU ~ that’s exactly why I never got in the habit of drinking coffee. It amazed that people would be so grumpy and actually be mean until they got that first cup of coffee. As a little girl, I couldn’t understand how coffee could change someone so I was afraid to start drinking it. :lol:

Being marriage material and having someone marry you are not always the same. EXACTLY. Along the same lines have having a baby doesn’t necessarily make you a parent!

Why should a person put their interests ahead of their own. In a marriage, it’s about respect and compromise. Nothing should be one-sided in a marriage. It’s a give and take, a pull and a push, but never should be an abandonment of your own interests.

Cat mama

January 6th, 2011
9:41 am

Well good morning Mr. Stanley. It’s obvious you haven’t been selected by the elite as a soul mate! NO ONE CAN EVER BE TOO SELECTIVE! Take this form a divorce’ who remarried at the magical age of 40 to a wonderful man/partner/best friend and yes soulmate! Patience is a virtue and no goals are ever to high when it involves your life and someone else’s! Keep on tryin’!

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
9:41 am

@RaqiV ~ eye to eye!

ATL Guy

January 6th, 2011
9:45 am

I’m just going to have Anchor Babies everywhere … who needs to pay for the main course when you can get the free dessert !

SlimNumeroUno

January 6th, 2011
9:56 am

Leggs – It’s a legal form of co caine in the morning lol I have never been a morning person. But some years ago I worked in a call center and no matter if you were a morning person or not, when 8am hit you had better put on your morning voice/persona if you wanted to keep your job. So i learned that this black liquid they call COFFEE was a jolt that could get me in the mood to be cussed out by strangers. lol So I drink at least one cup every work day. On the weekends I go coffee-free

Sarah

January 6th, 2011
9:56 am

My girlfriend and I have been together a number of years, though we cannot get married, not here anyway (we have considered moving, but she likes living close to her parents and brother and being able to see her family lots). Many things that make somebody “marriage material” are subjective and will vary person-to-person, as others here have noted. I personally think communication (both sharing and listening) and compromise (when necessary) are large factors in making somebody marriage material.

abc

January 6th, 2011
9:58 am

The bride’s vows don’t include “Love, Honor and Negotiate”, nor “Love, Honor, and Compromise”. They are “Love, Honor and Obey”, with the JP/copout version being modified to “Love, Honor and Cherish”, designed for women that can’t put their new husband’s interests ahead of her own. Maybe they suspect that their new husband wouldn’t do that, either. I’d say in that case, neither are marriage material.

If both parties put the other’s interests first, I doubt that deals and compromises are necessary.

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
10:05 am

@SlimNU ~ I like that, “a legal form of co caine.” My jittery boss drinks about 8 cups a day (BLACK)!

If both parties put the other’s interests first, I doubt that deals and compromises are necessary. That makes sense, but compromise will creep in every so often.

BlackMagicWoman

January 6th, 2011
10:06 am

“Wise Diva I think for the new year a stronger troll repelant is in order…just sayin’”

DELIGHT…I was thinking the same thing. It seems to be a troll in our bunch! :roll:

Y’all are Kidz….you had me until the worshiping part! I worship no one but God & JC. And I doubt either of them would be in a blog! So……. :lol:

” And she better understand that it’s MY kitchen.”

Now there you would have no arguement from me. I hate cooking. I do it because I have to eat. But I would rather clean the kitchen than cook.

CHELLE..I cosign your 9:19. There is no cookie cutter approach to marriage. I just don’t think people really think on what marriage entails. I do! And frankly it scares the bejesus out of me. I know you have to be willing to put up with a lot of crap. And frankly my BS-ometer is broken and stuck on “Hellz No”! So I think I am better off just having a relationship. If that fool starts to act up…let my stilletto meet his butt and keep it moving!

Shalita

January 6th, 2011
10:11 am

SexyCool

January 6th, 2011
10:13 am

Cat Mama – you are safe from Stanley’s disdain. He has previously stated that although you may have divorced if you were so fortunate that because someone has deemed you marriage-worthy, you will not be assigned to a life with only feline companions.

Steven Q. Stanley

January 6th, 2011
10:16 am

Splenda, I ma happily married. I am flattered though, thanks.

Dan - Simply...Superior

January 6th, 2011
10:17 am

Wait, did Slim used “whilst”? Not suprised that she could, but that she did?

20-ellem starting off right

SexyCool

January 6th, 2011
10:19 am

I like what Truth said about marriage yesterday…that he would put as much energy into being married as he did into being single.

I would have to write a novella to communicate my opinions about what it takes to be marriage material.

My short answer – it is a state of being that should have many levels and willing to change.

SlimNumeroUno

January 6th, 2011
10:22 am

Dan –> Ha ha ha hardy har har….lol Is that one of those whatchamacallit….back-handed compliments?

SexyCool

January 6th, 2011
10:25 am

Let me see if I can state that a bit more clearly – It is a state of being that should have many levels and qualities and along with a willingness to change and adapt as necessary.

AmazonRed™ - dragging...

January 6th, 2011
10:26 am

I like what Truth said about marriage yesterday…that he would put as much energy into being married as he did into being single.

Yeah, I didn’t have time to praise him for that before he left. But it’s just exciting to see that even the strongest opposers of marriage can see the light! I wish he had been here for the “why get married” topic. :lol:

Mo (aka Moeisha)

January 6th, 2011
10:30 am

Morning All!

Raqi – I didnt feel like speed reading to catch up, so I read the last few posts and caught yours:
“Not every woman that can spread eagle, get knocked up and give birth is good mother material. i.e. Susan Smith. Period. LOL” Oh so true!! Some of the stories I hear from teachers (along with stuff in the news) makes me wonder about people. I feel bad for a lot of these children with crazy ass parents

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
10:35 am

Random Thought (I promise I won’t start where she left off), but why is it that parents who wait at the bus stop with their children don’t invite the other cold kids to sit in their huge vans to wait for the bus? I never understood this.

AmazonRed™ - dragging...

January 6th, 2011
10:38 am

but why is it that parents who wait at the bus stop with their children don’t invite the other cold kids to sit in their huge vans to wait for the bus?

Liability reasons I guess. Some kid to cry molestation, or abduction or any other crazy stories. And witnesses would say, “yeah, she would sit in his car every morning.”

I dunno. :lol:

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
10:40 am

Ok, ARed. :lol: We all know all the kids at the bus stop and many of their parents! But, ok.

AmazonRed™ - dragging...

January 6th, 2011
10:44 am

Just cause you know em, doesn’t mean they can’t be pervs or killers. :lol:

BlackMagicWoman

January 6th, 2011
10:46 am

LEGGS… if I were that parent…or a parent at all I would do it. But I do understand ARED’s point. These days some kids are just scandalous and you can’t even trust them. Sad…but true.

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
10:46 am

That’s why I said “but, ok.” There are more and more kids killing…so, again OK! :lol:

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
10:49 am

@BMW ~ I understand ARed’s point too, but you know me…I cram as many as I can into my car and wait for the bus! And, if anyone should ever tell a lie on me, I’ll gladly go to jail for shooting them myself (J/K).

abc

January 6th, 2011
10:50 am

It doesn’t get that cold here. Maybe once or twice a year it does. Parents that drive their kids to the bus stop are training them to be coddled sissies.

One can’t be that nice to other people’s kids these days, though, for reasons of liability. Ever had the training required to watch kids in the church day care/nursery? Appropriate and inappropriate hugs, even. You can’t really even touch them, lest liability problems ensue, hence insurance and insurability problems.

RebelDiva

January 6th, 2011
10:50 am

Greetings Everyone!

I saw the topic and thought I would chime in. First it seems like Stanley Q is just a little bitter to actually be in marital bliss. Maybe I’m just sensitive because I’m among the “over 30″ group he’s referring to :) Secondly marriage material to me (in my 20’s and 30’s) is a guy who understands that it’s no longer about him it’s about us, knows working is a requirement not an option, doesn’t want me to mother him and is responsible.

Seems elementary, but you would be surprised.

Mo (aka Moeisha)

January 6th, 2011
10:52 am

Leggs – yeah it seems like a nice gesture but these are a different breed of kids these days. Like BMW said, scandalous! Better to be safe than accused

AmazonRed™ - dragging...

January 6th, 2011
10:55 am

There are more and more kids killing…so, again OK!

Well, that’s another reason to keep em out my car! Don’t want them breakin in later for my gadgets! :lol:

SexyCool

January 6th, 2011
10:55 am

I hate to see the kids at the bus stop who aren’t wearing coats or hats or gloves…when it’s 29 degrees with a wind chill.

SexyCool

January 6th, 2011
10:56 am

Especially little kids.

Chelle

January 6th, 2011
11:02 am

@BMA – i do understand your post :)

Celisea

January 6th, 2011
11:09 am

I agree on the liability issue….I wouldn’t do it either.

My daughter was in about the 5th grade and there was an incident reported of a teaching hitting one of the kids. I was called to the school (as all other parents that had kids attending that class). I asked my daugther ahead of the meeting what really happened and she said the class was out of control. By no means does that excuse what’s considered bad behavior from an adult but because of this I was called to the school where some person from the board was sent to investigate and I tell you….I’m glad I was present. When she begin to question my daugther she told her the class was out of control and that she was not hit or injured. I sat about 30 minutes before speaking up. The investigor asked and asked and asked again…to the point of getting the kids to change their stance.

Celisea

January 6th, 2011
11:10 am

Okay…don’t know how that posted…I was removing and redoing

Celisea

January 6th, 2011
11:13 am

What I was trying to say…there was an incident where my daughter was involved in an incident where the teacher was accused of hitting a kid. My daugther said the class was out of control and that she didn’t see hitting. Well they brought in an investigator who questioned each child but was not satisfied with the answers of “no, I wasn’t harmed or hit”….after her drilling for over half an hour, I spoke to her and told her that she seemed to be questioning the kids until their stories changed. She asked the same question over and over until the kids veered from their original version. I stopped the questioning with my child. What she told me intially and what she repeated to the investigor is what had to suffice. I told her that if she got the stories to change and what they said really didn’t happen….it was somebody’s life and career that would be challenged and changed forever. I left…I told her I did not agree with how she handled.

Celisea

January 6th, 2011
11:14 am

All that to say, kids can be snots and liars too….I wouldn’t do anything that could possible put me at risk

Celisea

January 6th, 2011
11:19 am

possibly…not possible

Maybe all my faux pas are an indication that I need to get off this thing

Celisea

January 6th, 2011
11:20 am

are indications…see

Between blogging and looking at rue la la, I should probably get some work done

BlackMagicWoman

January 6th, 2011
11:29 am

LEGGS…I hate to see a child freezing because their parents can’t buy them the clothes that they need. You know…it boggles my mind how you have to have a license to do everything….from driving to selling hotdogs on the streets. But any fool with a functioning set of sex organs and make and have babies. I know you can not police what people do with their bodies entirely. Hell in China they have a limit on kids you can have or you face punishment! My motto is: “if you can’t feed ‘em…don’t breed ‘em”! I get tired of the commercials talking about feed and cloth a child. I feel so bad for the kids. They did not asked to be born. Some parents act like their kids owe them something for having them. NO…it’s the other way around. You chose to bring them into this world whether it be though planning or your own carelessness. Either way you owe them a decent life. You do not have to be RICH and spoil them. But they deserve love, shelter food and clothes and education. They deserve a good start to life. After the grow up…then they are one their own, but not really. A good parent would always be there to guide them. Being a good parent is a hard job. And I applaud those that are!

i'm swiss™ (grasping at straws to get in them draws)

January 6th, 2011
11:30 am

C — Good for you. Unfortunately, I think you’re in the minority these days, which is a big reason why our schools suck: teachers have to walk on egg shells for fear of a law suit or criminal charge if they happen to piss off some bratty punk and his/her parents.

Celisea

January 6th, 2011
11:35 am

i’m swiss – I’m serious, I couldn’t believe she moved beyond their initial versions of what happened. I asked if she realized she was coercing. I had a talk her my daughter after we left. I told her it’s NEVER okay to lie on someone. All I could see was cameras and a news crew hounding a teacher for something she wasn’t guilty of. Having something like that sprayed all over tv would have been a seed planted that she would proabably never been able to live down.

Celisea

January 6th, 2011
11:36 am

teachers have to walk on egg shells for fear of a law suit or criminal charge if they happen to piss off some bratty punk and his/her parents.

Exactly.

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
11:36 am

“It doesn’t get that cold here. (That’s you’re opinion) Maybe once or twice a year it does. Parents that drive their kids to the bus stop are training them to be coddled sissies. (Again, you’re opinion).

I definitely agree with you Mo, different breed of kids.

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
11:41 am

All of you have made some fine points and it’s sad that we can’t even be nice to the children. But, you are right, it only takes one incident to get caught up in a lot of mess!

Kym

January 6th, 2011
11:46 am

Speaking of Children..not that “the boy” deserves it..but I am thinking of taking a family vac to California this year..I really enjoyed San Diego and I want to go to another area of California again this year..but I am planning to take “the boy” so I wonder what area would a teenager not get completely bored in. I was thinking San Francisco..cause I wanted to see the Bay Area..but I know the amusement parks are closer to LA..but I don’t want to see a danggone thang in Hollyweird..

i'm swiss™ (grasping at straws to get in them draws)

January 6th, 2011
11:46 am

“different breed of kids.”

And different breed of parents, too, let’s not forget… When I was a kid, if there was any sort of dispute at school between me and my teachers & my parents were made aware of it — guess who was to blame? Me. Didn’t matter the situation. The teacher was the authority & my job was to submit to that authority (even if the teacher was a dumb@ss) and do whatever I had to do to appease the powers that be and make the grade. Which is pretty good preparation for real life.

Not so much anymore. These days you’re more likely to hear from parents, “oh, you’re not gonna say that to my kid” or “you’re not gonna punish my kid” or “you can’t give my kid that grade,” etc. Well, guess what, that’s why your kid will grow up to be a spoiled, whiny, @sshole.

SlimNumeroUno

January 6th, 2011
11:47 am

BMW – If wannabe parents had to apply for a license to breed, what do you think should be some pertinent questions they would need to answer? Just curious

i'm swiss™ (grasping at straws to get in them draws)

January 6th, 2011
11:54 am

Aw man, I feel a rant coming on… must fight it… must… fight… the urge…. :lol:

Raqi V

January 6th, 2011
11:56 am

Last night the marido and I started getting year-end stuff together for the accountant and were talking about different things. There are some things on the ledger/balance sheet coded clearly as job cost. But then there are other things that get coded in many other different areas that are just the cost of doing business. Some of the obvious are taxes, office supplies and utilities.

But then you have sort of a miscellaneous area that include the purchase of plans/blueprints/schematics that the hub has to buy in order to submit a bid in an attempt to win a contract.

We were mainly talking about how those miscellaneous costs are necessary however the risk that is taken on what the return of investment may or may not be.

Sometimes direct profitable return: The purchase of some of those blueprints yield great returns when the contract is won. The cost of the prints get absorbed.

Sometimes indirect: He does not get the contract but he gets considered for future work.

And sometimes nothing all. No contract and no future however it’s the cost of doing business.

One thing I am learning just dealing in his business is you have to give to get. The getting will sometimes be immediately. But sometimes it will payoff in another way down the line. And then there are the sacrifices that we have to make the gives nothing back more than the effort to stay with it and in business.

Marriages and relationships are the same way. There is great benefit the will come direct and immediate. There are benefits that come over time and helps in maintaining. And there are just things that you have to do for the cost of being part of a duo.

Are yall even still on topic? LOL

Raqi V

January 6th, 2011
11:59 am

Sorry for all the novelettes. LOL

I was up pretty much all night after eating some chicken and dumplings that the godmother brought over yesterday evening. I really appreciate her doing that for us but I was sick as a dog all night so this morning yall got the chatty me from sleep deprivation.

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
12:02 pm

My ace boon coon here at work just got fired. DAMN, DAMN, DAMN! She just sent me a text. WTF did she do?!?!?! I’m on pins and needles waiting to find out what happened. What a way to start 2011!!!

Mo (aka Moeisha)

January 6th, 2011
12:04 pm

Im Swiss – your 11:46 is on point. People dont want you to say a word to their kids and those are the ones that are bad as hell! Then you send them to school and want to blame the teachers because your kid is failing whatever grade (cant read, cant write, can barely speak better than a 3 yr old)! It always amazes me when I hear some parents (not all) complain about school not being open because the parent needs a break. Now if you dont want to keep your own children, why do you think someone else wants to deal with them???

BMW – has to repost “My motto is: “if you can’t feed ‘em…don’t breed ‘em”! Seriously, stop trying to get/keep a man/get a check if you truly do not want kid(s)!

Celisea

January 6th, 2011
12:05 pm

I think we have a different breed of everybody these days..lol I was actually trying to see if I could find a story that was all over Channel 2 last year. My daughter’s curretn Broadcast Video teacher had a hole torn in her frame by a daughter and mother. From what I heard, the teacher retained the student and the mother showed up and they jumped her. Having met this teacher, she’s a good teacher and holds the kids to every letter of her classroom laws as well as the school’s. I’m okay with that. However, I don’t think she knows balance. Last year before the incident occured, at the beginning of the school year, after reading her syllabus I decided to be proactive and send an email that at no time could my daugther stay after school because she’s picked up by our church van (that makes several trips to various schools) but could depend on me being present if ever she needed me for anything…. I provided my work and cell numbers as well as personal and work email addys. This woman calls me all hot and bothered and asked what part didn’t I understand about her syllabus….needless to say I stepped away and broke her off a little bit of bonquesha-ism and handed it to her. Here I am trying to be that one parent she could rely on. I had my daughter taken out of her class. Later that school year she got whipped. My daughter was re-enrolled in her class this year and I went in to meet with her. I feel she’s a good teacher but on some things she’s shooting herself in the foot. Making the kids line up to clock in for a class, which she said herself takes up at least half the session. Why, if you have about 30 active kids that you have to at least get to settle down? If they don’t clock in they’re given a zero for that day. If some of what you require causes more harm then help then kill it. But yeah, she’s got cameras and everything set up. Guess she said she ain’t going down like that again.

Kym

January 6th, 2011
12:05 pm

@Swiss not to be funny but different breed parents raised different breed teachers..and sorry but all teachers are not created equal..there are quite a few teachers who need some lessons on classroom management. Dealing with kids who are out of order is a part of life..and I am not taking up for all parents who have gone toe to toe with teachers..but speaking as a parent who does not have time to parent the teacher and the kid..believe me..it ain’t always the kids.

Celisea

January 6th, 2011
12:07 pm

Mo – I agree

Swiss – Your 11:46….that’s how it was in our house too.

Kym

January 6th, 2011
12:10 pm

@Celisea..I do that every year with my son..here is my cell and email addresses(work and home) if you need to contact me about my son..call or email..the messages comes direct to my crackberry. I attend parent teacher conferences..volunteer at the school etc..I like there to be a face associated with the name.

AmazonRed™ - dragging...

January 6th, 2011
12:11 pm

different breed of kids

I think this is part of the reason more people are opting out of parenting all together. I know I’m willing to, but I’m surprised at how many women I know who don’t want to either.

Cuz even if you have a good kid, you still have to send em out in the world with the others. I read a story on AJC about teens giving blow jobs on the school bus. Even if your kid isn’t doing it, who wants them to be exposed to it?

SexyCool

January 6th, 2011
12:13 pm

Rock – I like where you’re coming from this morning (as usual).

And what really makes all of the give and take and instant and delayed gratification/benefit of it all is having the good fortune to be in a relationship with a person who thinks along those same lines.

I have a gf who understands what it takes to be married who is married to a man who feels like marriage doesn’t require work. For 20 years, she has been doing the majority of the “work” in the marriage and he, for the most part, has just been showing up. I have to say that she is partly to blame for the current state of affairs in her marriage because for so long she just “went along to get along”. Now, she finds herself in a marriage that is not one that she ever would have signed up for, but is the one that she allowed to happen.

Raqi V

January 6th, 2011
12:15 pm

I think we have a different breed of everybody these days..

Celisea, exactly.

When I read this posted by abc (The bride’s vows don’t include “Love, Honor and Negotiate”, nor “Love, Honor, and Compromise”. They are “Love, Honor and Obey”)

I laughed out loud remembering something my friend Deni told me. She said when she and her husband when to pre-marriage counseling with their pastor her husband jokingly asked the pastor why the “obey” was taken out of the marriage vows. She said the pastor told him that the MEN are lacking these days and aren’t what they used to be so the women aren’t made to vow to have to obey them.
A preacher actually said that. LOL

Celisea

January 6th, 2011
12:16 pm

Kym – Me too…for all classes

i'm swiss™ (grasping at straws to get in them draws)

January 6th, 2011
12:17 pm

Kym — No argument there. There are absolutely some buffoons in charge of classrooms out there. But it’s still a question learning to respect authority, even if the person in the position of authority is clueless. What are these kids going to do when they get in the workforce and have an incompetent boss? Call mama? They’ve got to learn to know their role and function within it to the best of their ability, sometimes in spite of poor leadership.

Celisea

January 6th, 2011
12:20 pm

AmazonRed – Even if your kid isn’t doing it, who wants them to be exposed to it?

That’s the truth. I will tell anybody if you’re going to have kids you better be in for the ride because a lot of what they’ll be exposed to is what you’ll have to combat as well as their own snottiness :) And to be realitic about everything. Don’t be a parent that’s delusional and won’t believe your child is capable of doing what the other kids do. The sooner you believe that, the better you’ll teach and the more prepared you’ll be for the reality of the kind of world they’ll have to grow up living in.

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
12:22 pm

@Celisea ~ I remember that mother/daughter tag team on the teacher.

AmazonRed™ - dragging...

January 6th, 2011
12:23 pm

LOL @ Raqi. One of my girlfriends got married and “obey” were in her vows and she had them taken out before the ceremony. :lol:

Celisea

January 6th, 2011
12:24 pm

But it’s still a question learning to respect authority, even if the person in the position of authority is clueless. What are these kids going to do when they get in the workforce and have an incompetent boss?

I’m gonna have to cosign here again. I’m sure somebody would call Social Services in today’s time for the whippings and spanking we got back in the day. My mom had a problem with not respecting authority more than the crime itself. We had an opportunity to speak and tell our side but we got the side eye for most incidents rather than teachers and other adults

Raqi V

January 6th, 2011
12:26 pm

but is the one that she allowed to happen.

Actually, SexyCool. If you let the trash build up it’s gone smell at some time or the other.

Sometimes people deal with some things fearing what they may lose but then later find out the loss is greater 20 years down the line that what it would have been that first year.

One thing you cannot do is borrow out of debt. It will soon catch up to you if you don’t actually work to make money to throw at that deficit. When you are just letting things go you are trying to borrow time hoping it will soon change or get better. But while you are borrowing against time an nothing profitable (i.e. working together) is being fed in you are in worse shape that you started in.

I guess you can tell where my mindset is this morning. LOL

BlackMagicWoman

January 6th, 2011
12:26 pm

SLIM…first they would have to show verifiable income for a certain amount of years in order to support that child 100% with government assistance.( I know things can happen such as recessions…but your initial intent should be correct). They would have to undergo a Psych Evaluation as well as a criminal background. As if they would trying to get a business loan…they would have to come with a plan, on paper to be signed as a contract that would carry harsh penalties should the default. That would include: back up plan should something happen to the parent(s), and a contingency plan should their financial earnings decline, how they plan to cover the costs of education, clothing and other needs. The mother would sign a contract that she would follow the OB/GYN’s instructions to try to ensure a healthy baby (meaning if like to smoke, drink, etc) your selfish a$$ woudl be willing to set that aside for the health of that baby. Heck even after its born they need sober responsible parents. The father would sign a contract, that in the event that they separate, he will not be a deadbeat and will be an intricate part of the kids life so that the kid is not missing out on their father’s love. And the mother would not be allowed to play games like not leeting the father see his kid simply because he no longer wants her. She would have to show just cause and proof in a court as to why the father can not be involved. Also if the reason for the split is infedelity than then the jerk causing the family devide should be penalized. The rearing would have to be 50/50. None of this mommy 80/daddy 20 business. You are 50/50 on the creation…and that should continue. Basically, show that you deserve the privilege of bringing another life into this world.

This woudl work in a perfect world. But alas…..we are living in a far from perfect world.

LEGGS…that’s messed up! So what job will they be hiring for now? :shock: What…don’t judge me” :lol: Somebody’s gotta do it!

MO…girl I see it all the time. Chicks trying to trap a man by having his baby. The only one she is trapping is herself! Granted they are both to blame. If he doesn’t want a kid…don’t have sex or take all the precautions that are necessary! That does not rid him of his responsibilities!

Kym

January 6th, 2011
12:27 pm

@Swiss respect is not given automatically it is earned.. and kids know who they can and can”t mess with in the classroom. Now if Missy is standing there like she is scared to speak..they will pounce..you don’t just gain automatic respect simply because you wear the title as teacher. Those jokers can smell weakness.

Celisea

January 6th, 2011
12:27 pm

Leggs – @Celisea ~ I remember that mother/daughter tag team on the teacher.

Yep, that was it. She’s a little something with a bang of a personality. When I met her I was instantly impressed with her skills but she’s almost anal in how she carries her class. It’s like she can’t quite get how to go with the flow. She told me she’s so sick and tired of being called bit&ch and wh*re by the kids and that she’s gotta still the 2nd half of the class and check that. I wouldn’t check nothing, I’d show ‘em the door. Why be combative with some that’s obviously futile. Kick out the trouble makers and keep it light and moving.

Dan - Simply...Superior

January 6th, 2011
12:28 pm

Yeah,

Respect is earned. (period)

In all relationships. These “kids” ain’t wild, they are just intuitive enough to know who they can get over on – and who they can’t.

Same in romantic relationships, these women (and men) know who they can get over on too.

In each instance, don’t look at the kid (or woman or man), look at what you putting out.

#statedbyonewithoutthoseissues

For Real

January 6th, 2011
12:31 pm

On topic: “Marriage Material” a self-help industry generated word that provides comfort to people that have no idea what marriage is or why they want to be married.

I think we have a different breed of everybody these days..- And how.. This new breed is never wrong, it’s never their fault and they deserve to be happy and rich without earning it.

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
12:31 pm

@BMW, you got mail!

PrincessNik

January 6th, 2011
12:31 pm

Cuz even if you have a good kid, you still have to send em out in the world with the others.

@ Ared, you are so right! I have grabbed lil mama up by her collar on a couple of occasions and told her that what she see’s Becky/Ray Ray doing, doesn’t fly in our house and I bet not see/hear her doing/saying whatever it was ever again.

AmazonRed™ - dragging...

January 6th, 2011
12:32 pm

Hey For Real…where you here yesterday for Truth’s big annoucement?

AmazonRed™ - dragging...

January 6th, 2011
12:32 pm

*were* not where. Grr.

For Real

January 6th, 2011
12:38 pm

Kym: “you don’t just gain automatic respect simply because you wear the title as teacher.” – I get what you are saying but certain position in society should garner respect without having to earn it and being a Teacher is one of those positions a child should be taught and expected to respeck. If and when the time comes for the teacher to receive some disrespeck, then the parent should be the one to do it out of the child’s present.

Ared: Yeah I was here and I’m happy for Truth but Truth better close that dayum gate behind him.

i'm swiss™ (grasping at straws to get in them draws)

January 6th, 2011
12:39 pm

“respect is not given automatically it is earned.. and kids know who they can and can”t mess with in the classroom.”

Well, as far as my parents were concerned, the fact that the teacher had lived to be X years my elder, earned a degree, and landed a job as the teacher was plenty to earn the respect of a little kid who hadn’t done sh!t in this world. No matter if that teacher had the classroom presence of Dirty Harry or Barney Fife. But I guess times have changed…

CoolShadow

January 6th, 2011
12:39 pm

Marriage material is relative to the beholder and evaluator. One person’s soulmate and life partner is another’s nightmare in reality.

@Raqi – your blogs have really been rich for this topic. Excellent viewpoints and very elaborative. Please keep going…

AmazonRed™ - dragging...

January 6th, 2011
12:41 pm

Ared: Yeah I was here and I’m happy for Truth but Truth better close that dayum gate behind him.

:lol:

Drink this elixir…don’t mind the smoke coming off fo it. :twisted:

Raqi V

January 6th, 2011
12:41 pm

The one area my hub and I differ is the matter of respect.

For me, respect has to be earned. You show me that you are respectable and due respect I will respect you. I approach everyone from a neutral stance.

He on the other will grant you respect upfront and then expect you to live up to it. He approaches every one as innocent until proven guilty.

But where we do very much agree is when that respect is taken advantage of the relationship and dealings with that individual will never be the same.

Mo (aka Moeisha)

January 6th, 2011
12:43 pm

For Real – “If and when the time comes for the teacher to receive some disrespeck, then the parent should be the one to do it out of the child’s present. ‘ Well said, too many kids trying to handle adult situations and unfortunately they take that one situation and apply it to all adults. Thinking they can run amuck on anybody

Celisea

January 6th, 2011
12:44 pm

For Real – Your 12:38…I agree. Absolutely. Too, you NEVER settle any matters in front of children

For Real

January 6th, 2011
12:46 pm

Swiss: I agree 100%

“Drink this elixir…don’t mind the smoke coming off of it.” – For Real takes off running like a Pimp Name Cream Corn.

2CPTG

January 6th, 2011
12:50 pm

idle nothingness:

damn, that homeless dude blowin the fugg up!

Raqi V

January 6th, 2011
12:50 pm

CoolShadow. Thanks…I think. LOL

I am merely a student in this matter of married life. I am learning every day. I have never hidden the fact that I want the ’til death do us part so I hope we make it to that point.

Quoting my brother: “Life is a teacher by experience. Speculation is the entertainment of fools.”

For Real

January 6th, 2011
12:51 pm

Raqi: I like you when it comes to respect but either way works when it’s an adult-to-adult situation. Neither way works very well when it’s a child-to-adult situation.

Celisea: “For Real – Your 12:38…I agree. Absolutely” – Do you agree absolutely to this (Zippppppppppp) too?

AmazonRed™ - dragging...

January 6th, 2011
12:51 pm

you NEVER settle any matters in front of children

True true true. My parents don’t have a perfect marriage, but they never aired it in front of us. So now, I think I had a pretty “Cosby Show” upbringing.

That chick Tami on Basketball Wives, she has her kids in therapy with her as she and her ex argue over whose fault it was. Her kids just crumbled. Why did she think they needed to see that???

Celisea

January 6th, 2011
12:52 pm

No zippppppping please :)

Raqi V

January 6th, 2011
12:53 pm

2CPTG, the hub had me laughing yesterday trying to mimic Ted Williams voice. The hub has a nice baritone/bass voice but like I told him he ain’t nothing on that streetbum. LOL

I hope Ted Williams do good. Every one deserves a break and a second chance. I saw the video of him where he had his hair cut and has showered. He cleaned up really well.

For Real

January 6th, 2011
12:53 pm

“Why did she think they needed to see that???” – So that it would hurt him and in her eyes it makes her look like the parent.

cba

January 6th, 2011
12:55 pm

marriage material = Tiny backing dat thang up 4 her man

Raqi V

January 6th, 2011
12:57 pm

ForReal when it comes to kids, these darn kids need to learn some respect. These parents need to make…yeah I said MAKE their kids respect them and other adults.

I hate being place and those darn kids will push pass you not saying excuse or anything. Some of them will run over you. And if you try to say something the parents get all bent out of shape.

Teach your kids respect. Respect for adults, respect for the law and respect for authority.

Celisea

January 6th, 2011
12:57 pm

Aside from their careers (doctor and lawyer) seemingly perfect, I think it mirrored probably a good number of 1980s black households in the way of providing discipline and structure….at least ours too.

Celisea

January 6th, 2011
12:58 pm

The Cosbys…

2CPTG

January 6th, 2011
1:00 pm

“I think it mirrored probably a good number of 1980s black households in the way of providing discipline and structure…”

yep, even mine…..I just strayed AFTER I left the house…..gettin back to my roots, though.

PrincessNik

January 6th, 2011
1:01 pm

These parents need to make…yeah I said MAKE their kids respect them and other adults.

AMEN Raqi

My pet peeve is when we are out and about and parents act like they don’t see they kids acting up or doing wrong, or being disrepectful.

I remember growing up my mom didn’t have to say a work she just gave us the look or the eye and you knew you better get right

PrincessNik

January 6th, 2011
1:03 pm

*word, not work

my brain is cramping from processing payroll :(

DreamsMaterialize

January 6th, 2011
1:04 pm

These parents need to make…yeah I said MAKE their kids respect them and other adults.
Raqi Very true, but the problem is usually that the parents don’t respect other adults or themselves. The children are usually just mimicking what they see at home on a regular basis. When I taught, I always approached discipline starting with the parents. The disruptive and misbehaving students were usually the ones with disruptive and misbehaving parents.

abc

January 6th, 2011
1:05 pm

The daily minimum mean temperatures in Atlanta are over 31 deg. Fahrenheit; in St. Louis, 20 deg; in Chicago, 10 deg. It really doesn’t get that cold here. It’ll get to around 10 deg. or so for a low temp maybe a couple times per year.

One must respect a person’s position, regardless the respect or lack thereof for the person themselves. Parents are the first authority figures that children encounter. If respect isn’t insisted upon in those encounters, it’s a sure bet the kid won’t respect anything or anyone else, either.

AmazonRed™ - dragging...

January 6th, 2011
1:05 pm

I think it mirrored probably a good number of 1980s black households in the way of providing discipline and structure….at least ours too.

Not sure about that. Growing up, there were only like 5 of us whose parents were still together to begin with.

PrincessNik

January 6th, 2011
1:06 pm

Dreams you said a mouthful with that 1:04

AmazonRed™ - dragging...

January 6th, 2011
1:07 pm

But then again, I grew up in the land of Hollywood. Nothing lasts for very long out there!

Celisea

January 6th, 2011
1:11 pm

ARed – I think it mirrored probably a good number of 1980s black households in the way of providing discipline and structure….at least ours too. Not sure about that. Growing up, there were only like 5 of us whose parents were still together to begin with.

I was actually speaking “in the way of discipline and structure” While I know most of show seemed dreamy, IMO they tried to relate to world that you can be successful have “normal kids and the dumb things they do” and still steer and guide and raise to be healthy adults. I think they tried to display all the quirky things that come up with raising kids and not feel like it’s something foreign happening within your househould alone but to understand hey, all kids sneak or lie or take or fight…it’s what they do. I wasn’t focusing so much on the marriage with that statement

kimmie

January 6th, 2011
1:14 pm

I think it mirrored probably a good number of 1980s black households in the way of providing discipline and structure….at least ours too.

I know it mirrored mine. Even the few folks I knew that came from single parent households, the discipline, structure and respect were on point. Didn’t matter what economic background either. We knew just as many from blue collar as we did professional, and the basics were the same.

I don’t know what these folks are doing now, raising these kids, but it’s not working.

Celisea

January 6th, 2011
1:14 pm

But to you point ARed – I think stability from a good marriage will transcend throughout the household…as I’ve said a million times, I’m proud of mom and pop’s 54 year run :)

AmazonRed™ - dragging...

January 6th, 2011
1:16 pm

I wasn’t focusing so much on the marriage with that statement

Yeah, but my point of bringing up the Cosby’s in the first place was because of the focus on the marriage. :lol: The relationship between Cliff and Clair is what really made the show what it was.

There was simply more displine and structure anyway back then. You don’t need to use the Cosbys to make that point.

2CPTG

January 6th, 2011
1:16 pm

C, to show how things, and people have changed, I’m willing to bet that folks today probably wouldn’t even watch the Cosby show…..

Celisea

January 6th, 2011
1:18 pm

2Can – Heck no, that would seem outlandish and far fetched and corny

Raqi V

January 6th, 2011
1:22 pm

I agree that it was just a different time back. The few single parent household that we knew of growing up those single parent houses, be it mother or father, were just as strict as or stricter than our home.

Kids have too many undeserved and unearned rights these days. When we were kids your only right was to be a kid. We had the right to be obedient to our parents. The right to food and shelter however our parents deemed necessary. The right to an education and to behave while getting it. The right to do whatever chores we were told to do. And last but not least the right to stay out of grown folks business.

AmazonRed™ - dragging...

January 6th, 2011
1:23 pm

I’m willing to bet that folks today probably wouldn’t even watch the Cosby show…..

Aww… :lol: The fact that it’s still in heavy syndication to this day dispels that. Networks put shows on tv that will make them money.

Saved By the Bell has still adding new generations as fans too. One cast member (maybe Slater?) says youths still stop him on the street about that show, even though he’s done years worth of other TV.

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
1:23 pm

Respect is earned, but when it comes to children you have them respect the adults around them automatically. That’s their first lesson in respect. It starts with toddlers saying hello Ms. So and So. As they get older (teenager) they decide whether you’re still worthy of being respected by how you act around and toward them. Everyone is not to be respected!

And DreamsM ~ you’re absolutely right…it’s mirrored at home!

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
1:27 pm

I grew up in a single family home, and my mother was strict, let alone had the fastest hands in The Bronx. Looking back, I know DFACS should have been called on many occasions!

For Real

January 6th, 2011
1:27 pm

“I think it mirrored probably a good number of 1980s black households in the way of providing discipline and structure….at least ours too.” – Yeah now look at the family shows on TV, it’s all about dysfunction, disorder, and disrespect.

i'm swiss™ (grasping at straws to get in them draws)

January 6th, 2011
1:29 pm

Maybe it’s just a question of semantics, but I just disagree with this whole “respect is earned” notion. Now, trust and admiration are are different story, but to me, respect should be granted to everyone by default — until you’ve given just cause to revoke it. That’s just part of being civil, IMO…

Celisea

January 6th, 2011
1:31 pm

For Real – Yeah now look at the family shows on TV, it’s all about dysfunction, disorder, and disrespect.

Exactly….The Kardashians IMO are nasty trio of chicks….including their mama. But according to society this is the standard and the norm or else they wouldn’t have landed a show.

Raqi V

January 6th, 2011
1:31 pm

One thing about my parents’ house when I was growing up is that was their house. My brothers, sister and I were just temporary occupants. LOL

I remember my mother inviting my sister to leave her house when that girl thought she didn’t want to come home when she was supposed to. My mom wasn’t kidding either. LOL

My mom would slap the fire out us. LOL And I don’t care how whacko you all think I am (LOL) it made me a respectable adult and taught me how to be give respect.

Celisea

January 6th, 2011
1:33 pm

Everyone is not to be respected!

I’m going to have to go in another direction on this statement. I don’t ever think a child should be taught who should be respected versus not. I think children should be taught what respect is and learn it…if they do they can’t help but take it a notch higher and respect those some may feel not deemed. Too, as humans I think we all “deserve” respect. Some may not display the best behavior but we all humans just the same.

2CPTG

January 6th, 2011
1:34 pm

“The fact that it’s still in heavy syndication to this day dispels that.”

perhaps cause the folks that grew up watching it, are still interested????? talkin bout a new audience! The majority of syndicated shows cater to their old constituents……ala, the remake of old cartoons/heroes into movies????

For Real

January 6th, 2011
1:34 pm

Swiss: I agree it’s semantics, what you describe is common decency. Respect to me mean a person whose action meet their words. Oh and I don’t have to agree, like or trust you to respect you either.

Celisea

January 6th, 2011
1:35 pm

Alright I gotta break and run to Lenox (on the train) this will get my walk in for today seeing I have a later engagement. Too I despise evening traffic. You can do it Celisa…you can do it.

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January 6th, 2011
1:36 pm

talkin bout a new audience!

I’ve seen every episode of the Cosby Show a hundred times. But if I had kids, I’d let them watch because I wouldn’t want them to see all the oversexualized stuff on regular tv.

But yes, new audiences, in addition to the old of course.

Raqi V

January 6th, 2011
1:37 pm

ForReal, you are right. The best depiction of a good family structure shown within the last few years is “Everybody Hates Chris”. That other stuff I know nothing about.

I remember a girl on our street getting caught by her mother doing the do in their house. Me feeling all grown up (about 16) asked my mom what she would have done if that had been me. She said that boy would still be inside of you right now because I would have glued him to. LOL I do believe she meant it.

Dang I love and miss my mama. (as I wipe away the tears)

For Real

January 6th, 2011
1:37 pm

For Real now slapping the ish outta of Celisea for motivational purposes.

Celisea

January 6th, 2011
1:38 pm

The majority of syndicated shows cater to their old constituents……ala, the remake of old cartoons/heroes into movies????

Yep, cause my brother swears I’m the only person still watching Good Times, The Jeffersons, The Cosbys, Three’s Company. This new generation ain’t watching nor interested. My daughter watches the Cosbys but it’s ONLY because of Rudy and Olivia and the fact that my dad use to say Olivia reminds him of her….as a baby/tot of course.

Celisea

January 6th, 2011
1:39 pm

Thanks For Real…I’m motivated

kimmie

January 6th, 2011
1:39 pm

Amred – Definitely new audiences, cause whenever I have it on, the kids are spellbound!

For Real

January 6th, 2011
1:40 pm

“I would have glued him to” – For Real now picturing Raqi and that dude walking up to Mase at the club like that Burger King commercial.

SlimNumeroUno

January 6th, 2011
1:41 pm

BMW – great assessment there…I’ll help you with that campaign when you get ready to run for prez. ;-)

cba – Yeah I just read that about TI & Tiny…man’s gotta do whata mans gotta do. lolol Tip be feening for dat hoochie coochie like Samuel Jackson in Jungle Fever. :lol:

For Real

January 6th, 2011
1:42 pm

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January 6th, 2011
1:42 pm

Definitely new audiences, cause whenever I have it on, the kids are spellbound!

;)

I’m not making this ish up cuz it sounds pretty. There is actually research out there on it.

2CPTG

January 6th, 2011
1:42 pm

Kimmie…I wonder then, why no new “wholesome” family shows are coming out, only a new reality show about some washed-up celeb?

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January 6th, 2011
1:43 pm

I do want to watch this show “Modern Family” everyone raves about. I guess it’s reflective of the times now!

Though Married with Children was a great sitcom about a dysfunctional family. Nothing new under the sun!

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
1:44 pm

@Celisea ~ let me reiterate, all children should be taught respect. However, no matter what you teach them, when they get a certain age, their mannerisms toward that person you told they should respect will let you know whether they do or not. Even if they’re civil toward that person, doesn’t necessarily mean they respect them.

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January 6th, 2011
1:45 pm

why no new “wholesome” family shows are coming out, only a new reality show about some washed-up celeb?

Because us “oldies” love trainwreck TV! I watch all the Kardashian shows too.

Network tv shows target adult demographics, not teenagers. Unless you’re talking about a network like MTV!

Raqi V

January 6th, 2011
1:45 pm

2CPTG, I know you asked kimmie but here’s my take. Because “wholesome” doesn’t sell these days.

Raqi V

January 6th, 2011
1:45 pm

ForReal, yep. LOL

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January 6th, 2011
1:45 pm

And yes, I’m excited about Khloe and Lamar getting their own show. I will be watching!

For Real

January 6th, 2011
1:47 pm

2C: Cause wholesome shows cost more money to develop and write. How much money does it cost to put a fool on tv and tell them to be themselves?

2CPTG

January 6th, 2011
1:47 pm

“Network tv shows target adult demographics, not teenagers.”

this substantiates BOTH of our points….networks targeting their older viewers, who in turn, will turn their youngin’s on to what they grew up watching….

PrincessNik

January 6th, 2011
1:48 pm

now picturing Raqi and that dude walking up to Mase at the club like that Burger King commercial.

now For Real that made me hollar out loud

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January 6th, 2011
1:49 pm

this substantiates BOTH of our points….networks targeting their older viewers, who in turn, will turn their youngin’s on to what they grew up watching….

No it doesnt, cuz I was answering the “why so many reality shows” question, which I wouldnt’ let my youngins watch.

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January 6th, 2011
1:49 pm

How much money does it cost to put a fool on tv and tell them to be themselves?

:lol:

PrincessNik

January 6th, 2011
1:51 pm

Ared

What do you think this new season of The Game is going to be like?

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January 6th, 2011
1:51 pm

kimmie – Have the youngins ever seen “Family Matters?” It’s not on much these days, but I wonder how they’d feel about Steve Urkel. :lol:

SlimNumeroUno

January 6th, 2011
1:52 pm

Let’s do a little pondering shall we

In the world of entertainment

WHOLESOME show does NOT equal RATINGS
WHOLESOME show pitched as an idea goes into File 13

TRASH tv euals RATINGS which equals MONEY
TRASH tv shows pitched as an idea gets top consideration.

Celebrity Rehab = ratings = $$$
16 & Preggers = ratings = $$$
Jersey Shore = ratings = $$$
Disorder in the Courtroom = ratings = $$$

(some examples)

2CPTG

January 6th, 2011
1:52 pm

“No it doesnt,”

??????? huh?

then why’d you say this, “Aww… The fact that it’s still in heavy syndication to this day dispels that.”

after, I said this, “I’m willing to bet that folks today probably wouldn’t even watch the Cosby show”?

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January 6th, 2011
1:53 pm

What do you think this new season of The Game is going to be like?

I think BET has the potential to mess it up! Bootleg as they are! :lol: I hope they brought back the same writers. Wonder why they moved filming to Atlanta. Is BET based here now?

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
1:53 pm

Sorry, but I love Disorder in the Courtroom!

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January 6th, 2011
1:55 pm

2Can – keep up sweetie. I’d let my kids watch a network where quality family program was still on. So yes, old shows DO spawn a nation of new viewers.

I wouldn’t let KIDS watch reality tv shows like the Kardashians…but I would watch. Therefore giving them MY (adult, old person) ratings.

Raqi V

January 6th, 2011
1:55 pm

Heck just your every day cartoons aren’t what they used to be.

The Flintstones, Tom&Jerry and Bugs Bunny have all been replaced with Ed, Edd and Eddy, and Pokemon and whatever else super natural cartoons they show.

Very little innocence left for the kids to grasp hold to these day.

PrincessNik

January 6th, 2011
1:56 pm

Ared,

I don’t think BET is based in ATL now but then they do the hip hop awards here and some other things too (I think). Who knows, but you are right BET can be pretty bootleg, I loved the show before never missed an episode I sure hope BET kept it “intact” and didn’t put their own spin on it.

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
1:57 pm

@2C ~ speaking on the newly found golden vocal cords (Ted Wms), did you see his mother on tv? She’s 92. No disrespect, but man o man, it’s true “black don’t crack!” :lol: :lol:

Raqi V

January 6th, 2011
1:57 pm

I tried to post the cutest little email my hub just sent to me but WiseD won’t let thru.

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January 6th, 2011
1:57 pm

I loved the show before never missed an episode I sure hope BET kept it “intact” and didn’t put their own spin on it

Me too! I’m a little peeved it doesn’t come on til 10 pm. What the hell does BET have to show between 8 – 10 pm that I’d like better???

PrincessNik

January 6th, 2011
1:58 pm

Raqi

I agree with you about these new cartoons, not to mention these “tween” shows like I-Carly, Hannah Montana and others….. My little one loves to watch Tom and Jerry, Garfield, and Scooby Doo go figure

2CPTG

January 6th, 2011
1:59 pm

yeah, Leggs, I saw a pic of his Mom….just hope he stays true to what he wished for….and he capitalizes on his second chance.

SlimNumeroUno

January 6th, 2011
2:00 pm

Leggs – I’m not saying I don’t like trash tv because Disorder in the Courtroom is a riot. lol

PrincessNik

January 6th, 2011
2:01 pm

What the hell does BET have to show between 8 – 10 pm that I’d like better???

Ared, those movies they run in the ground that have worse “editing” than the old Godzilla type movies, man they can kill a good movie

Raqi V

January 6th, 2011
2:03 pm

Leggs, you know what I think help Ted Williams get this break outside of his magnificent voice? His shear honesty. He didn’t try to blame anyone got his downfall.

In other news, is it a bad thing that there is another adult here with me and I haven’t seen her in over 3 hours. LOL Maybe she thinks I am still taking a nap so she is keeping the little one from bothering me. She’s a good grandmother to and for Lizzy. I am glad to have her as an addition to our lives.

Imma send some of you that email in a couple of minutes. I have desire to go hold my baby. LOL

Raqi V

January 6th, 2011
2:03 pm

Princess, yep those shows too.

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
2:04 pm

@2C ~ I sure hope so too. I sure hope so. Heck, he should be very grateful anyone even stopped to read all those words he had on his sign from the get go!

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January 6th, 2011
2:08 pm

Speaking of the good ole days, there was an article today talking about what this newest generation of kids will never know about. Things like movie rental stores, video tapes, film cameras, watches, newspaper classified ads, dial up internet, encyclopedias…

Years ago, this kid born in 1990 asked me what a cassett tape was. :lol:

kimmie

January 6th, 2011
2:09 pm

2C – Quality costs money. And I believe kids are jaded now because of their dysfunctional parents. And yes, it’s cheaper to make reality shows. But we, as a society, are paying for the horrible images and examples we are setting for our kids, in more ways than one. Society has been dumbed down and excellence is not an expectation any more.

Amred – They have not seen Family Matters, but I can bet you they would LOVE Steve Urkel!LOL!!!

i'm swiss™ (grasping at straws to get in them draws)

January 6th, 2011
2:11 pm

ARed — Holy f__k… I just realized that “kids” born in 1990 turn 21 this year. :shock: Got d@mn I’m old! :lol:

Sassy Me :-)

January 6th, 2011
2:12 pm

and he capitalizes on his second chance.

I heard some of an interview he did on GMA this morning and he said that when he was on top and doing well he NEVER thanked THE MAN ABOVE but now he does regularly. I hope he does well.

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January 6th, 2011
2:12 pm

ARed — Holy f__k… I just realized that “kids” born in 1990 turn 21 this year. Got d@mn I’m old!

Right! And 1990 seemed like yesterday to me! :oops:

2CPTG

January 6th, 2011
2:13 pm

Kimmie, I agree with what you said….but do you think it’s the parents that are jaded, or whats shoved down these kids’ throats outside of the house?

For example, lotta y’all said you wouldn’t let your kids watch what you watch…..but when that’s the “hot topic” at school, how does a parent stop their kids from wanting “to be down”?

Kym

January 6th, 2011
2:14 pm

Okay I missed two pages..due to work..so I am not sure where we are..but I did see something about what kids watch on tv. I guess if we base parenting on what kids watch..then I don’t know how I would rank..

The boy watches or has watched (in no particular order)…Modern Family, No Ordinary Family, Whateva Cartoons come on Hub, Cartoon Network, NickToons, Disney Channel, Nick at Night,.He watches Degrassi(and reminds me constantly that there is where Drake started his career..insert eyeroll like I care), House, Bones, The Closer, Leverage, Law and Order(UK too.), Family Guy and The Boondocks ohh and of course..Doctor Who and Psych.

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January 6th, 2011
2:17 pm

how does a parent stop their kids from wanting “to be down”?

They don’t. Still doesn’t mean they get to watch.

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January 6th, 2011
2:19 pm

Elizabeth Edwards says: “John, you get NADA in my will.”

Ha ha ha.

kimmie

January 6th, 2011
2:19 pm

Amred – I will tell you that growing up, my parents, especially my mother, were REAL PARENTS. They GOVERNED everything we came in contact with, including what we watched on tv. The Super Station, Channel 17, was about the only station my parents let us watch carte blanche, because all they showed were the old shows, Beaver, Andy Griffith, Brady Bunch, etc, and the old school cartoons. There were one or 2 network shows they MIGHT let us see, but that was it. And television time was limited. They kept us busy with reading, music lessons, schoolwork, etc.

It’s all about what you expose kids to. They appreciate what you appreciate. If all you let them watch is Kardashians, that’s all they will appreciate. Most of what we listen to when I have the kids is old school music. They love Debarge, Sade, MJ, EWF, etc. They don’t call it lame at all. Baby girl loves fine arts like classical piano and ballet. I listened to the Nutcracker symphony music while I was baking over the holidays and she loved it. We are going to the ballet this Christmas season at the Fox. She’s excited about it. Her buddy next door takes piano lessons and she goes to her recitals.

All about exposure.

BlackMagicWoman

January 6th, 2011
2:21 pm

““Why did she think they needed to see that???” – So that it would hurt him and in her eyes it makes her look like the parent.”

FOR REAL..sometimes when parents split, the kids are seeing mommy as the bad parent who drove daddy away. Why is it that men think they can run away from their responsibilities and the mother is not supposed to tell the truth as to why daddy isn’t around. He is looking like the good guy and mommy struggles to get by and make sure THEIR kids to not lack anything. But OH..we he sees the error of his ways and comes back, things are supposed to be hunky dorry because daddy’s trying to be a father now. he made “the choice” to do what he should have from the start. That’s just like giving a man a pat on the back for being a good father. hell you are only doing whta you should anyway!!! Where’s mommy’s pat on the back? Oh that right….she doesn’t get one for holding things down when punk a$$ sperm donor was too busy chasing skirts too be a father!

I am not saying this is the case all the time…because there are some really trife a$$ mother’s out there! So I am not condoning Tammi’s actions. But I really do understand where she is coming from. He was making millions and because things didn’t work out between them, he abandoned his girls and went and married some other chick and now he is super dad to those kids. How do you think those girls feel? Wonder if they will have daddy issues that will prevent them from ever receiving a proper relationship.

ARED…BET is based here now I. I temped at Turner and in the production building there was BET. But as for “The Game”..I hope they do not mess it up. The play the old ones and bleep out things like b*tch or h0! It just won’t feel the same without Tasha Mack’s real antics! :lol: Touche B*tch…or Punk A$$ Chauncey! Classic!!!!

I watched Are We There Yet and the kids didn’t know what a VCR or the VHS was. He had them watching A Different World on VHS and the kids got hooked and said it was a good show. The boy and he friend started dressing like Dwayne Wayne and Ron Johnson. Both of them said it made them want to go to an HBCU….even the White boy who was dressed like Ron Jonhson! :lol: It was funny because I thought about How I found a fairly large cassette as a child and thought it was a different type of VHS. I was later told it was something called an 8-track. :shock: :lol:

DreamsMaterialize

January 6th, 2011
2:23 pm

Old cartoons and stories weren’t innocent.

Tom & Jerry was violent, not to mention the Aunt Jemima type maid that worked in the house.

Bugs Bunny disseminated war propaganda.

Scooby Doo was socio-political commentary.

In Jack and the Beanstalk, they liked to EAT HUMANS.

In Hansel and Gretel the witch is a cannibal who eats children, and in the end the children push the witch into the fire to be burned alive.

Three Stooges occasionally had a sambo type character coonin’ around.

The Little Rascals had Buckwheat…’nuff said.

In Snow White the queen orders the huntsman to murder Snow White and to bring back her heart as proof.

You can go on endlessly with this.

kimmie

January 6th, 2011
2:23 pm

Still doesn’t mean they get to watch.

2C – Just what Amred said above, don’t matter what the “other kids get to do”. We had the same issues growing up cause there were things my mom would not let us watch, listen to, go, etc. We learned to play it off in the street. See that’s the problem with parents today. Too busy trying to be these kids friend. My mama didn’t give a flip what the other kids did. We just had to suck it up. Part of life.

i'm swiss™ (grasping at straws to get in them draws)

January 6th, 2011
2:28 pm

Dreams — … and Pepe Le Pew was a rapist and Foghorn Leghorn was a horny old cracker, trying to get a sympathy f__k from Ms. Prissy. “I say, I say, I need yo’ luuuuuuuuuuv to keep me waaaaaaaaarm.” :lol:

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January 6th, 2011
2:30 pm

Thanks Staceye! I figured there was a reason they moved the show here. I know they tape the Mo’Nique Show here too, so Turner/Time Warner might have bought em out and moved em here.

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January 6th, 2011
2:30 pm

Yeah, Bert and Ernie…the original gay couple! :lol:

DreamsMaterialize

January 6th, 2011
2:31 pm

I listened to the Nutcracker symphony music while I was baking over the holidays and she loved it.
kimmie my sister used to dance in the Boston Ballet, so we used to see the Nutcracker, Swan Lake and some others EVERY year. I got so damn sick of the Nutcracker. lol It wasn’t until about two years that I could actually stomach the nutcracker enough to see it again…probably for my daughter’s sake. ;-)

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January 6th, 2011
2:33 pm

Yeah, back when it I was coming up, the girls used to leave school early to make it to a nearby high school to flirt with the boys there. I wanted to be down with that. My mom stayed at home, so I had to go home and have snacks and do homework. :lol:

The horror of going to prom with a guy who actually went to school with you! You were cooler if you got a boy from another school to take you. :lol:

Kym

January 6th, 2011
2:33 pm

Hey I love Sesame Street..they keep up with the times..they recently had a bit of drama cause they did a show about one of the kids or puppets having two moms or dads or something.

Oh and whoever has not seen Modern Family…that is a funny show..they have episodes online..

Raqi V

January 6th, 2011
2:34 pm

but when that’s the “hot topic” at school, how does a parent stop their kids from wanting “to be down”

2CPTG, you already know the answer, you have two yourself. We teach them. My son who will be 16 in less than a month gets to watch a lot more type of shows than he did at 12. He is old enough to know certain things now. We have to go with the times but that doesn’t mean we have to let them loose in all of it.

He knows just because the kid’s mother on television allows her kids certain privileges those privileges will not be allowed in this house.

He is getting to the age where he can have a real girlfriend and will be given the freedom this year to drive over to see her alone in a car. (Not mine but a car. LOL) But he will have rules he has to adhere to no matter what the other kids are doing or saying.

While all kids desire a certain amount for freedom they all don’t desire to get out there and be buck wild.

You explain this to me…”Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

i'm swiss™ (grasping at straws to get in them draws)

January 6th, 2011
2:36 pm

Oscar the Grouch was homeless & The Count was a pimp…

Kym

January 6th, 2011
2:36 pm

While all kids desire a certain amount for freedom they all don’t desire to get out there and be buck wild.

I will second this emotion..

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January 6th, 2011
2:37 pm

While all kids desire a certain amount for freedom they all don’t desire to get out there and be buck wild.

That was the funniest thing growing up. I didn’t have curfew, I didn’t have to be off the phone at a certain hour. My parents said “you’ve been raised, so you should know when to come home and when to get off the phone.” So no need to rebel cuz they trusted me.

I had all the freedom and I didn’t even use it! Funny how that works.

Raqi V

January 6th, 2011
2:38 pm

Old cartoons and stories weren’t innocent.

DreamsMat, I agree and disagree. It was all in the delivery.

Olivia Newton John sang “Let’s get physical” and I used to sing right along with her. Exercise. When I got older I learned that the physical she was talking about was Sexercise.

It was innocence until the time of understanding came with age.

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January 6th, 2011
2:38 pm

Raqi – Well whose car will he be using? I better not see him on that Super Sweet 16 show. :lol:

Raqi V

January 6th, 2011
2:40 pm

AmazonR, I agree with your point however we did have a curfew. And it was not because we wanted to get buck wild. (My sister was just evil. LOL)

Curfews taught us boundaries and the respect for rules.

2CPTG

January 6th, 2011
2:40 pm

“You explain this to me…”Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

This mirrors my upbringing….as I said, I had the whole “Huxtable” thing goin on in my house; but silly me, I wanted to experiment with the “darkside”……and did it! But, I do know how I was raised, and the roots of my being are firmly entrenched in what I was taught….and as far as my 2, I let ‘em know what’s “real” and what’s fake….and pray that I’m not being too strict, yet, at the same time not raising them in a bubble….

Trevor0529

January 6th, 2011
2:41 pm

Bugs Bunny did like to dress in drag.

:)

Kym

January 6th, 2011
2:41 pm

Oh yeah and I guess we have to count video games into this discussion too..because my son spent the holidays with his uncle and his buddies..their game of choice..Modern Warfare..Black Ops..(Seriously military dudes..you shoot folks for a living must you play the games at home too..)

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January 6th, 2011
2:42 pm

Raqi – While they told me “you know when you need to come home.” I also knew it meant “your ass is grass if you come in after midnight.” :lol:

I really wonder how my Mom ever slept at night. I could have been doing anything! I didn’t, but she didn’t know that! :lol:

BlackMagicWoman

January 6th, 2011
2:43 pm

OMG…. see my cartoon propaganda is shared! Yay! :lol: I thought I was the only ones who thought these things!

Now I am off to the orthopedic surgeon!

DreamsMaterialize

January 6th, 2011
2:43 pm

How about the Seven Dwarves…seven grown men living together and singing songs.

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
2:45 pm

@ARed ~ listening to Staceye over the years, that’s pretty much the route her mother took with her too…show your kids trust and believe you feel they were raised properly and they will know how to act…

Kym

January 6th, 2011
2:45 pm

@Dreams..Snow White was living there for a min..

Raqi V

January 6th, 2011
2:45 pm

LOL AmazonR, no Sweet 16 shindigs here. Girl you are chatting with an old fashion mother.

I’on know whose car he will be taking but it will not be mine. He and his dad will have to work that out. If not he can see if his father will be willing to let him use his.

(yeah I know, dad and father. Not the same person. LOL)

For Real

January 6th, 2011
2:47 pm

BMW:

1. “That’s just like giving a man a pat on the back for being a good father. hell you are only doing whta you should anyway!!! Where’s mommy’s pat on the back?” – Now why does a “good mommy” deserve a pat on the back for doing what she should anyway but a “good dad” doesn’t deserve one?

2. Why do you assume that all men that leave the mothers of their children are no good?

3. Do you believe a man can be a father to his without being with the mother?

4. Do you believe women deliberately push men out of their kids live to get even with them for leaving them?

5. Do you believe women use the kids to punish the men for leaving them?

2CPTG

January 6th, 2011
2:47 pm

Raqi…..Is “Father” active in young dudes’ life?

kimmie

January 6th, 2011
2:47 pm

and pray that I’m not being too strict, yet, at the same time not raising them in a bubble….

2Can – That’s all you can do. My mother, as no-nonsense as she was, was always worried about holding on TOO tight. She knew of too many back from when she grew up that just went crazy after they left their strict homes. She also didn’t want our homelife to be like a prison. She did like to have fun & clown. And she let us try alcohol on special occasions so it was no big deal when we left home for college.

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January 6th, 2011
2:48 pm

(yeah I know, dad and father. Not the same person. LOL)

:lol: So it’s more like a Brady Bunch upbringing! (but really, what happened to their exes, were they dead or divorced)

My mom let me use her car. She drove a minivan tho. *smh* :lol:

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
2:49 pm

@2C ~ that’s Proverbs 22:6. I have it as a plaque on my desk! Our curfew was set by the street lights! Be home before they came on!

PrincessNik

January 6th, 2011
2:50 pm

@ Ared

We didn’t have a curfew either, but I was always thinking “what’s too late?” made you self-police. I can remember coming home at like 2:30 after prom and i didn’t have my key I just KNEW my dad was going to spaz, he looked at me, said where is your key?! turned around and went back and got in his bed

kimmie

January 6th, 2011
2:50 pm

I didn’t have curfew, I didn’t have to be off the phone at a certain hour. My parents said “you’ve been raised, so you should know when to come home and when to get off the phone.”

Amred – Now that is wild, cause that was the same thing with us! But if you did anything to betray that trust, it was over for you! My parents did the legwork up front, so the teen years were a bit of a breeze for them!

PrincessNik

January 6th, 2011
2:52 pm

Swiss/BWM

Don’t forget about the Smurfs! Smurfette was the only chick………………….I”m just saying

And Popeye! Olive Oyl, just kept going back and forth between the two men Bluto would whip up on her she’d run to popeye………..

AmazonRed™ - dragging...

January 6th, 2011
2:52 pm

show your kids trust and believe you feel they were raised properly and they will know how to act…

Leggs – What’s also good about this is you can actually WATCH how they make decisions on their own with this kind of freedom. Trust, had I been stupid with the freedom, I wouldn’t have gone away to school. I would have had to go to UCLA and stay under their thumb. So when I did go to college, I didn’t wild out because it wasn’t my first taste of freedom.

2CPTG

January 6th, 2011
2:52 pm

Any dudes on here step-dads? Need y’all input….

Kym

January 6th, 2011
2:52 pm

@Leggs..that was my dad’s saying too.. “Don’t let the street light beat you in the house..” The key was to time it so you were on the step when the light started to flicker…LOL

AmazonRed™ - dragging...

January 6th, 2011
2:54 pm

I can remember coming home at like 2:30 after prom

How bout, my parents wouldn’t let me get a hotel room with my girlfriends, but then turned around and left for the ENTIRE weekend to take my sis to her basketball tournament. So I had a whole house to myself for FREE! Even better :lol:

My boyfriend did come over, but I was still in the V-Club so we just made out and hung out. :lol:

sleepy

January 6th, 2011
2:55 pm

is anyone else sleepy? yawn

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
2:57 pm

“So when I did go to college, I didn’t wild out because it wasn’t my first taste of freedom.” EXACTLY. Like a vampire, don’t give them a drop of the blood and then take back the neck. They will sniff out another neck. Sorry, vampires are so popular, I couldn’t think of anything else.

I hoping this will be my result with my child.

For Real

January 6th, 2011
2:58 pm

“My boyfriend did come over, but I was still in the V-Club so we just made out and hung out.” – That’s right cause sticking just the head in don’t count!

Raqi V

January 6th, 2011
2:58 pm

2CPTG, yep he is there almost every other weekend. And sometimes during some weeks. But “dad” is the one that is raising him to be a man. The boy lives here with “dad”. Dad is the one that is keeping me from breaking that boy in two. LOL

His father provides for him but his dad is teaching him. His dad taught him to drive, talks to him about man-life, teaches him about girls. He goes to the barber with his dad, he works around the house with his dad.

These days I have nothing bad to say about his father, but I see firsthand what he dad does for him.

Both of my boys call my hub “Pops” or dad.

SlimNumeroUno

January 6th, 2011
2:58 pm

Awww, Moments to Love…love this song

PrincessNik

January 6th, 2011
2:58 pm

Ared, we had gone bowling after prom, (cause i wasn’t doing anything at the time either.) Trust I knew if i didn’t fear anyone or anything else, Fear God and Fear my Parents. I moved back to GA into my parents house right before I had my daughter and for the year we were there I was still iffy about coming home at a decent hour cause It wasn’t “my house” so I had to be respectful of that fact.

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
2:59 pm

That is knowing how to act because this isn’t her first time to the rodeo!

Now you see why I was nominated Most Corniest!

AmazonRed™ - dragging...

January 6th, 2011
2:59 pm

That’s right cause sticking just the head in don’t count!

Virgins would get no pleasure from that. Ouch! So no. :lol:

Kym

January 6th, 2011
2:59 pm

I wonder what stories the boy will tell about my parenting when he is grown and out of my house? I know the shoes upside the head will be high on the list.

kimmie

January 6th, 2011
3:00 pm

Amred – See my mom was slick, thinking back. She had me so scared up, she could give me all the freedom in the world and I still walked the straight and narrow!LOL! Cause I had one or 2 FREE weekends and didn’t do much of nothing, too scared, she always had a way of finding out stuff.

Slick!! :wink:

PrincessNik

January 6th, 2011
3:00 pm

I can remember, breaking my neck trying to get in the house before the street lights came on, or at least before i heard my dad opening the screen door to let me know I had lost my mind by not already being in the house :lol:

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
3:00 pm

I know it’s cold and I’m sitting here in front of a heater, yet I can’t get a black cherry slurpie from QT out of my mind!

SlimNumeroUno

January 6th, 2011
3:02 pm

Yall make me wanna go watch all these old shows and view them with my now adult mind….dayum, I didn’t even think about Popeye and Olive Oyl like that. :shock:

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
3:02 pm

@kimmie ~ I think that was my mother’s tactic as well. I was so afraid of her, I could only walk the straight and narrow. When everyone was having fun at the “hookey parties,” I was in school learning something! Just knew if I went to even one of them, Mama would greet me at their front door! Fear Mom and Fear God definitely help steer me in the right direction!

Raqi V

January 6th, 2011
3:04 pm

I wonder what stories the boy will tell about my parenting when he is grown and out of my house?

Kym, okay? LOL I heard my son’s friends telling him I was mean one time here at the house. They thought they were going to tear up my house?!?!?! Oh hecky no.

I don’t mind being the mean mother. Not one bit.

kimmie

January 6th, 2011
3:04 pm

Leggs – You know, it’s funny cause I crave ice cream and slurpies and such in the winter, not summer so much!! I’ve always been crazy like that. I know exactly how you feel right now!LOL!!

2CPTG

January 6th, 2011
3:05 pm

Raqi, I asked ’cause that’s similar to whats going on now with me and my (step)daughter…..I’ve been “Dad” since she was 2 years old…she’ll be 14 next week…yet, her mother and I have been divorced now almost 10 years….”father” just recently showed back up in her life……ummmm, am I wrong to have some jealous bitter feelings? Cause I don’t distinguish between the two…I tell folks I have 2 kids, when I really only have one biological….I do for both equally, yet, “father” only does for his….when he’s not in jail, of course….

AmazonRed™ - dragging...

January 6th, 2011
3:06 pm

she always had a way of finding out stuff.

Girl yes! I was scared straight too. :lol:

She did admit to me years ago that she would tail us in her car when we walked home from school sometimes. Just to make sure we were doing what we were supposed to. So I’m sure she’s searched my room and all that jazz too.

kimmie

January 6th, 2011
3:07 pm

Raqi – The kids tell me all the time I’m mean. I told them it’s more fun being mean. They were :shock: LOL!!!

I know they love me. Daddy is a little softer with them. So somebody has to be the tough one. I don’t mind.

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
3:08 pm

@2C ~ although bitter is not a good word…you have every right to be. Even jealous/envious can fall in the mix. It’s human to have those emotions when the other parent steps back into the picture.

kimmie

January 6th, 2011
3:10 pm

Amred – I found out my dad had a buddy, a security guy, up at UGA when I was there. :shock: Found out years after I graduated and moved out!

It was all good though. I still had my fun, but I knew how to be discreet! :lol:

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
3:11 pm

Well, you may find it hard to believe, but lil leggs will tell you all day every day I’m mean. And, I am! I’m old school and I don’t play. You’re the child, I’m the adult and I pay all the bills. This is a dictatorship. I don’t mind my child being a little afraid of me. Not at all.

i'm swiss™ (grasping at straws to get in them draws)

January 6th, 2011
3:11 pm

Princess — I wouldn’t want any part of Olive Oyl… Can you imagine how floppity that CT would be after Popeye fisted her??? :lol:

2CPTG

January 6th, 2011
3:11 pm

Leggs, I guess what pisses me off most, is that my son only has ME….and she has me, and occasionally, him….

PrincessNik

January 6th, 2011
3:12 pm

i’m swiss

:lol: i can only laugh at that

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
3:15 pm

hmmmmm, 2C ~ that part shouldn’t piss you off at all. Why you feeling that way? She really only has you and she knows it!!!

Celisea

January 6th, 2011
3:15 pm

Wow, ya’ll have turned 2 pages

kimmie

January 6th, 2011
3:16 pm

Leggs – You remind me so much of this lady I used to work with at Delta years ago. She was a single parent of 2 and she did not play! We would hear her on the phone with them when she was at work. One time after a particularly blistering scolding she gave them, she came back to her seat, looked at a few that were staring at her and said “I use fear and it works for me!” I was LMAO!!!

Kym

January 6th, 2011
3:16 pm

@Raqi..I don’t think they think I am mean..because I always have food when they come to the house..as my son’s buddy said..your mom always has something to drink in the fridge. But I will keep it real with them. I took the boy and two of his buddies to volunteer with us cleaning up trash over in “the hood”..they got to paint over graffiti(sp) and see just how some folks are living. Also at some point they were having a discussion on girls..or about some girl..anywhoo..I asked why wouldn’t they pick the kind of quiet girl? The buddy replied..”How about this..I hang out with the really bad girls now..and then when I get older I marry the real nice, smart(this is keyword for nerd) girl like you and my mom? I am fully convince this way of thinking is genetic.

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
3:17 pm

@2C ~ your daughter is a prime example of what I was saying earlier. As they get older they will decided who they will give respect to. She knows he’s her biological father in and out of her life for whatever the reasons. She knows you’re her daddy…you have all of her respect.

2CPTG

January 6th, 2011
3:18 pm

I know Leggs…..kinda goes back to what Staceye was saying bout “pat on the backs”….I know I’m only doing what I’m supposed to do……even when it means being a dad to one that ain’t mine….when me and the mother ain’t even together!

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
3:19 pm

@kimmie ~ no doubt I give her lots of breathing room, but I make it known she is in no position to ever tell me what to do!

Kym

January 6th, 2011
3:19 pm

Oh yeah and the boy..said Yeah mom..how do you know they are bad girls unless you hang out with them? Again something not quite right with that male DNA….oh yeah and my son is truly convince I am the creator of his Hell on Earth.

AmazonRed™ - dragging...

January 6th, 2011
3:20 pm

Off topic – There is this guy on my FB friends list who is always asking what folks are up to in the middle to the day. He just asked. I always want to be like “working, n**ga! It’s 3 in the afternoon!”

And I don’t even use the n-word but dang. :lol:

DreamsMaterialize

January 6th, 2011
3:21 pm

2C step-popping can be a tricky job. On one hand you’re bittter/jealous that you’ve raised the child all these years, and all of a sudden ol’ boy can just waltz in after all these years and expect the same type of treatment. On the other hand, you don’t want to deny a man the opportunity to be in his kid’s life if he’s really serious about it. In the back of your mind you always knew this was something you’d have to contend with down the road, but you never like crossing that bridge when you get to it.

Raqi V

January 6th, 2011
3:21 pm

2CPTG, That is very honorable of you.

Mase is the same way. He freely says he has 3 kids. Even before Lizzy was born he told people he had two kids.

Not saying it because my guy has accepted my kids but I have always said there are some good men all around us. And no you are not wrong to feel the way you do . You raised her and that can never be undone.

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
3:22 pm

@2C ~ even if you’re only doing what you’re suppose to do, I don’t give a flying flip what anyone says, you still want a pat on the back somewhere along the line.. If not, they wouldn’t have Father’s Day nor Mother’s Day! If you want a pat on the back, nothing wrong with letting that be known!

Raqi V

January 6th, 2011
3:22 pm

kimmie, it’s good they know where you stand. I believe it will make for a smooth transition.

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
3:23 pm

@ARed ~ perhaps it’s the NYer in me, but if dude is always asking what people are doing in the middle of day, could it be he’s priming himself for a neighborhood heist???? :lol:

AmazonRed™ - dragging...

January 6th, 2011
3:25 pm

perhaps it’s the NYer in me, but if dude is always asking what people are doing in the middle of day, could it be he’s priming himself for a neighborhood heist????

:lol:

He clearly has no j-o-b. :lol: So perhaps that’s how he earns his income! :lol:

2CPTG

January 6th, 2011
3:26 pm

Leggs, I’m not looking for no kudos!

to be quite honest, it’s her mother, my ex, that I wanna kick in the neck!

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
3:27 pm

Things that make you go Hmmmmmmmmmm…….

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
3:29 pm

@2C ~ ok scratch the kudos part. You’re still bothered!

Well, pretty sure you have some chalk around the house/garage somewhere. Draw a pic of the mother on your driveway, stomp on her, then bring out the water house and clean up the evidence. That neighbor looking out the window will have a good laugh!

kimmie

January 6th, 2011
3:30 pm

2C – You will be blessed. Kids know whose really down for them.

My was a widower with 3 kids when he met & married my mother. Then they had 3 more together. My mother never made any distinction, she said she had 6 kids. I had 5 siblings, not 3 half & 2 whole.

For Real

January 6th, 2011
3:31 pm

2C: I know kids can be very selfish but they know exactly who butters their bread and they will remember. The key is to let them know without a doubt how you feel about them and not worry about what someone else is or is not doing.

2CPTG

January 6th, 2011
3:32 pm

“That neighbor looking out the window will have a good laugh!”

ha…..not really, cause I’m some’n like Purp…..off in the cut!

For Real

January 6th, 2011
3:33 pm

“to be quite honest, it’s her mother, my ex, that I wanna kick in the neck!” – 2C now punching the air like Cuba in Boys in the Hood.

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
3:34 pm

@2C ~ :lol: :lol: By any means necessary, get it out your system….

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
3:34 pm

@ForReal ~ boy he was mad! That was a good scene!

SlimNumeroUno

January 6th, 2011
3:35 pm

Blog Announcement….Slim will be having a lil CT of her own. :-D

2CPTG

January 6th, 2011
3:36 pm

Dreams, and For Real….I feel ya….cause babygirl does indeed know what time it is……

true story: My son graduates in May, and we were talking about arrangements and what not; Babygirl said, “I’m not even gonna invite “them” (her biological family); I’m only inviting y’all referring to me and my family…….so yeah, she knows….still cain’t stand niqqas who neglect their kids, then wanna show up years later like ain’t nuttin happened……

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
3:37 pm

@SlimNU ~ are you serious????

AmazonRed™ - dragging...

January 6th, 2011
3:38 pm

2Can – How you’re feeling is how women feel when they spend years with a dude and build him up, only to have him dump her and marry some 25 year old chick who works at Hooters. :lol:

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
3:39 pm

@2C ~ ok. I now understand you’re not concerned about her feelings toward her biological and wanting to be around him, you’re just pissed that this JackWagon is trying to come back on board and he doesn’t deserve to…didn’t necessarily get that vibe from your first post. Like I said, you’re her daddy and she knows it!

For Real

January 6th, 2011
3:39 pm

“Blog Announcement….Slim will be having a lil CT of her own.” – For Real passes the fugg out with a hard-on!!!!!

2CPTG

January 6th, 2011
3:40 pm

“2Can – How you’re feeling is how women feel when they spend years with a dude and build him up, only to have him dump her and marry some 25 year old chick who works at Hooters”

yeah, that is some bullsh!t……

PrincessNik

January 6th, 2011
3:41 pm

Slim will be having a lil CT of her own

Say what now (said in my Tasha Mack voice) :lol:

DreamsMaterialize

January 6th, 2011
3:41 pm

still cain’t stand niqqas who neglect their kids, then wanna show up years later like ain’t nuttin happened…
2C I feel you all day on this. To this day I can’t understand how a man could abandon his seed. I’m in it to win it with mine, and it’s obvious to anyone who knows me or even sees us interact. Keep doing your bruh. Your feeelings are justified, but your reward will be great kids who acknowledge that you went all out for them.

2CPTG

January 6th, 2011
3:42 pm

Slim??????????

how da hell two of my blog wives get pregnant, and I don’t even know ’bout it………somebody got some ’splainin to do!!!!

AmazonRed™ - dragging...

January 6th, 2011
3:42 pm

Raqi – You’ve gone with Lizzy as her nickname? I like it. One of my friends named their daughter Elizabeth too, but they call her “Ellie”

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
3:43 pm

Damn, this has been a week of strange, but good, happenings! :lol: :lol: Just hope lil CT will not be their name (LOLOLOL).

Sassy Me :-)

January 6th, 2011
3:43 pm

are you serious????

Yes..are you?

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
3:44 pm

CONGRATULATIONS, SLIMNU! Oh my, another one is about to be released into society in another 9 months! Get Ready!

2CPTG

January 6th, 2011
3:44 pm

‘preshate that Dreams…..

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
3:44 pm

Am I about what?

SlimNumeroUno

January 6th, 2011
3:45 pm

Leggs – no, I just felt left out of the convo and wanted to know what it felt like to be a mama for a hot second… :lol: :lol: I’m a lil stinker, yes I know Don’t judge me ;-)

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
3:45 pm

Sorry, scratch 3:44

Sassy Me :-)

January 6th, 2011
3:45 pm

how da hell two of my blog wives get pregnant, and I don’t even know ’bout it………

Who’s makin love to your old laaaady…while you been out makin’ love?…. :mrgreen:

Congrats SlimNu !!!!!

2CPTG

January 6th, 2011
3:46 pm

For Real

January 6th, 2011
3:46 pm

2C: I agree but if a dude or chick aren’t right and can’t give a child what they need then they should step aside. By the same token, if they have corrected themselves and are now in a position to contribute positively to their then they should be afforded the opportunity. Like my paw-paw use to say about kids “catch and release boy, catch and release”.

2CPTG

January 6th, 2011
3:46 pm

Sassy…..ok!

Sassy Me :-)

January 6th, 2011
3:47 pm

I’m a lil stinker, yes I know Don’t judge me

Well then I guess she “siked” us… You ain’t right Slim..

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
3:47 pm

@SlimNU ~ OMG ~ I feel like the cartoon from back in the day called “Felix The Cat” where he got hit in the head with a brick often. I feel like throwing a brick at you. You got me!

AmazonRed™ - dragging...

January 6th, 2011
3:47 pm

Slim – I think you get a blog citation for that lil stunt!

SlimNumeroUno

January 6th, 2011
3:48 pm

Well if it makes you feel any better, I do have a pet rock. Does that count?

2C – You can relax now babes…I squeezed it all out when we were done ;-)

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
3:48 pm

I can only imagine you on April Fool’s Day!

2CPTG

January 6th, 2011
3:49 pm

For Real……..but just because you and mama don’t work out, a MAN still gotta be there for his kids….me and the ex couldn’t live together, but we lived round the corner from each other! Mine loved to say, “we got two houses…..our dad live right around the corner.”

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
3:49 pm

Write her up good, ARed! We joke in Blogsville, but not about babies!!!! Write her up, Dano!

For Real

January 6th, 2011
3:50 pm

“Leggs – no, I just felt left out of the convo and wanted to know what it felt like to be a mama for a hot second” – (For Real slowly coming to) Whew!!! Slim you scared the bejesus out of me. Now what we gon do bout this hard-on?

AmazonRed™ - dragging...

January 6th, 2011
3:52 pm

Write her up good, ARed! We joke in Blogsville, but not about babies!!!! Write her up, Dano!

Besides, I doubt she’d even want to joke about a thing…mess around and jinx herself. :lol:

For Real

January 6th, 2011
3:53 pm

“a MAN still gotta be there for his kids” – Agree 100 not making any excuses for those cats that refuse to be there for there kids and I’m not just talking money cause we both know you can’t print enough money for what a father gives to his kids.

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
3:53 pm

@2C ~ no matter how bad this sounds, but I think lil leggs father living close by helped her transition with the divorce. She loved that she had two homes to go to! It helped her.

Sassy Me :-)

January 6th, 2011
3:53 pm

Now what we gon do bout this hard-on?

milk it… ;-)

kimmie

January 6th, 2011
3:55 pm

Slim – Actually that reminded me of this little stunt I pulled in 3rd grade.

There were 2 kids in my class that had to move away. I was jealous of all the attention showered on them. So I came to school and told everyone I was moving! After a few days I told them my parents changed their mind. :lol:

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
3:55 pm

@ARed ~ if she’s not careful that mysterious envelope with the dust in may land at her doorstep. No one knows where the pkg is!!!!

2CPTG

January 6th, 2011
3:56 pm

Leggs, it really does help…..specially when they don’t miss a beat…..they got their own rooms at both places, and don’t matter if it’s a school night or not….regardless of where they are…they’re with a parent!

Raqi V

January 6th, 2011
3:59 pm

Slim for future reference that thing you just had is called a queff. Don’t shamed it has happened to the best. I’m glad you pushed it out.

For Real

January 6th, 2011
4:00 pm

“milk it…” – Sassy & Slim double team African American Dolphin.

Swiss/Purp: call Jazzy I think we got another hit on our hands.

Raqi V

January 6th, 2011
4:03 pm

If I changed my mind right now would that be called a joke or a stunt.

Oh wait that would be called murder.

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
4:06 pm

@Raqi ~ we spoke about queff’s before! (And I believe it was you)

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
4:09 pm

@Raqi ~ that bought it up the first time too (LOL).

AmazonRed™ - dragging...

January 6th, 2011
4:09 pm

If I changed my mind right now would that be called a joke or a stunt.

Oh wait that would be called murder.

:?:

Is Lizzy getting a sibling?

Mo (aka Moeisha)

January 6th, 2011
4:10 pm

2CPTG/Leggs – I live close to my ex as well along with living close to all grandparents. Lil Mo doesnt miss a beat either! Next best thing as far as Im concerned

2CPTG

January 6th, 2011
4:10 pm

y’all thanks for lettin me vent…..

and thanks Slim for snappin me out of it with your humor……shock laughter is truly the best medicine….

SlimNumeroUno

January 6th, 2011
4:10 pm

‘Now what we gon do bout this hard-on?’

For Real – Have you met the African American Shark? Ziiiiiiiip

‘I doubt she’d even want to joke about a thing…mess around and jinx herself’

Ared – Don’t worry, I crossed my fangas when I typed it and knocked on my plastic wood-topped desk :lol:

‘queff’

Raqi – Queff…Q U E F F….Queff. Would you please use it in a sentence? (In my spelling bee voice)

2CPTG

January 6th, 2011
4:11 pm

“Next best thing as far as Im concerned”

Next to you comin home!

Raqi V

January 6th, 2011
4:12 pm

LOL Leggs, I am just trying to help Slim out with her condition. She thought her CT was giving birth when in actuality it was just pooting.

Yes I have acres and mounds of stored up knowledge of stuff folks would wander why do I know that. I just like knowing stuff. LOL

2CPTG

January 6th, 2011
4:14 pm

“Is Lizzy getting a sibling?”

after pickin me up, slow bus pulls up at A Red’s bus stop………

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
4:16 pm

@Mo/2C ~ yes indeed, yes indeed. And to help them with their own transition, bitterness has no place going forward.

SexyCool

January 6th, 2011
4:17 pm

Am I wrong to have two agents working to find me a property?
Serious question.

Sassy Me :-)

January 6th, 2011
4:17 pm

after pickin me up, slow bus pulls up at A Red’s bus stop………

:lol: oh nooo not the short yellow bus..

AmazonRed™ - dragging...

January 6th, 2011
4:18 pm

2Can – I still need help tho. We were talking about Slim’s baby prank and I came back to Raqi talking about murder. What did I miss?

2CPTG

January 6th, 2011
4:18 pm

Sassy….she got me good last week; I was late learning BMW was actually Staceye…..

SlimNumeroUno

January 6th, 2011
4:18 pm

Queff…Q U E F F….Queff – I am ready to use it in a sentence now….

Slim thought her CT was preggers when in actuality it just queffed. :lol:

2C – Almost anything for my boo ;-)

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
4:19 pm

And SlimNU is driving that short bus (not slow bus)! :lol: :lol:

AmazonRed™ - dragging...

January 6th, 2011
4:19 pm

SCool – Are you indecisive? Cuz I only saw about 7 homes. And I picked the final one the next weekend. Easy breezy.

I would say two realtors is unnecessary, because they use the same sources to find the homes they show you.

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
4:20 pm

@2C ~ if you can’t vent in Blogsville, you’re lost!

SlimNumeroUno can't stop won't stop Queffing

January 6th, 2011
4:20 pm

Take dat, take dat, take dat (dancing around like Diddy)

Ok, yup, it’s official. I’m delirous

2CPTG

January 6th, 2011
4:20 pm

A Red…..Lizzy is indeed expecting a sibling..

AmazonRed™ - dragging...

January 6th, 2011
4:20 pm

short bus (not slow bus)!

Leave it to 2Can to mess it up! :lol:

AmazonRed™ - dragging...

January 6th, 2011
4:21 pm

2Can…well, clearly I missed the announcement!

Still different from you cuz Staceye posted WAY more often then Raqi does about her pregnancy! :P

Congrats Raqi!

SlimNumeroUno can't stop won't stop Queffing

January 6th, 2011
4:23 pm

SlimNu now driving the shawt bus wearing a Marta t-shirt, with her head out the window shouting

Ooooh crank dat souldia gurl…!! Git owt my face! Git out my face…!!

:lol: :lol:

Raqi V

January 6th, 2011
4:23 pm

SexyCool, have you signed an agreement with either to lock them in as your agent? If not I would you are good.

Mo (aka Moeisha)

January 6th, 2011
4:24 pm

2CPTG – I dont know if ex-hubby would agree! LOL! But thank ya honey

Raqi V

January 6th, 2011
4:25 pm

Lizzy isn’t expecting anything but she shole gon be surprised in June when her mommy comes home with a new baby. LOL

Thanks, AmazonR.

Sassy Me :-)

January 6th, 2011
4:25 pm

I was late learning BMW was actually Staceye…..

Really? She read the same to me but the moniker was a give away…but better late than never.

2CPTG

January 6th, 2011
4:26 pm

Sassy don’t you start on me……

SexyCool

January 6th, 2011
4:27 pm

Well…I’m looking for a great deal…and am prepared to be a bit patient for one.

Looking to stay on the southwest side of town, but will consider other areas ITP or *just* outside. Aaaannnddd….TheDude is strong on having at 4side brick with a basement. Whereas I want something with an open floor plan and in a neighborhood that I can run in.

All for a player price. Looking at REOs or for an extremely motivated seller with a well kept property. Something pretty much move-in ready, but at best needing few cosmetic changes (paint, carpet).

AmazonRed™ - dragging...

January 6th, 2011
4:27 pm

She read the same to me

Exactly. Only one person posts like her. :lol:

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
4:29 pm

@SassyMe/2C ~ I’m cracking up…talking about noticing things…she read exactly the same, only moniker changed and Mr. Sleuth wasn’t any wiser!!! :lol: :lol:

AmazonRed™ - dragging...

January 6th, 2011
4:29 pm

Lizzy isn’t expecting anything but she shole gon be surprised in June when her mommy comes home with a new baby. LOL

:lol: I used the word getting…leave it to 2Can to mess that up too! :lol:

When did you annouce Raqi? I guess I should come on here daily. I thought I would read it on your blog, because I know you considered being done before…

SexyCool

January 6th, 2011
4:30 pm

Nope, Rock. Haven’t signed a thing. Just talked with one and am emailing with the other.

Raqi V

January 6th, 2011
4:30 pm

2CPTG, I can really sense your vulnerability right now.

AmazonRed™ - dragging...

January 6th, 2011
4:30 pm

Well…I’m looking for a great deal…and am prepared to be a bit patient for one

I would think looking for a great deal is a given. :lol: But if you’re willing to be patient, you only need one realtor. IMO.

Raqi V

January 6th, 2011
4:31 pm

AmazonR, I didn’t annouce it, Toucan did.

2CPTG

January 6th, 2011
4:32 pm

ummmm, y’all gon leave me alone……..

Raqi V

January 6th, 2011
4:32 pm

Then you have nothing to sweat. Like menfolk say to the ladies no verbal commitment not expectations. LOL

AmazonRed™ - dragging...

January 6th, 2011
4:33 pm

Nope, Rock. Haven’t signed a thing. Just talked with one and am emailing with the other.

Oh, well when you’re ready to chose, you’ll often sign an agreement giving one of them exclusivity anyway.

I did have a non-exclusive agreement with my first realtor, and that’s why she got fired. There is no incentive to put in extra work when you could just end up finding a place on your own or going with someone else.

Sassy Me :-)

January 6th, 2011
4:33 pm

don’t you start on me……

I’m not…I promise :-)

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
4:33 pm

@Raqi v ~ too funny, cuz 2C blew me out the water too when I didn’t want to tell Blackfoote what I looked like!!! :wink: :lol:

Raqi V

January 6th, 2011
4:33 pm

Dang 2CPTG, I can really feel your sensitivity right now. I should have followed my brother in his practice of analyzing the psyche afterall.

AmazonRed™ - dragging...

January 6th, 2011
4:34 pm

AmazonR, I didn’t annouce it, Toucan did.

So I’m confused. 2Can, how am I on the “slow” bus if she hasn’t told folks? I guess you mean she’s been dropping subliminal hints for a while now or something?

2CPTG

January 6th, 2011
4:36 pm

so now I talk too much?…….

said like “smokey”…..I’ll be quiet…….I’ll be talking again, tho…..

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
4:36 pm

:lol: :lol: You sure will be….

2CPTG

January 6th, 2011
4:37 pm

“how am I on the “slow” bus if she hasn’t told folks? I guess you mean she’s been dropping subliminal hints for a while now or something?”

she did, last week….just trynna make me look crazy!

AmazonRed™ - dragging...

January 6th, 2011
4:37 pm

Uh…I’m gonna go out on a limb and say 2Can is still riding that short bus as the only passenger.

Well, Angie and I am hop on from time to time. :lol:

2CPTG

January 6th, 2011
4:38 pm

and she was droppin hints prior to that……..Raqi, I am not sensitive….

AmazonRed™ - dragging...

January 6th, 2011
4:38 pm

she did, last week….just trynna make me look crazy

LMAO!!! You are trying to put ME on the “slow” bus for something a week old??? How long had Staceye been posting until you realized she was BMW???

Here it comes…

Boy please… :lol:

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
4:39 pm

@ARed ~ you had to step there didn’t you? Yousa mess :lol: :lol:

2CPTG

January 6th, 2011
4:40 pm

“Well, Angie and I am hop on from time to time. ”

da hell if you gon put me in the same category…..

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
4:40 pm

The short bus takes all characters!

Sassy Me :-)

January 6th, 2011
4:41 pm

Adios blog familia!!!

AmazonRed™ - dragging...

January 6th, 2011
4:42 pm

@ARed ~ you had to step there didn’t you? Yousa mess

Well, I wanted him to have some company. :lol:

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
4:42 pm

Hasta LaVista, baby!

SexyCool

January 6th, 2011
4:42 pm

Okay. I was trying to not post about I am going off on me for calling her “dinghy” right after I met her at Tazzie’s wedding meet and greet. Now, THAT was funny. Her going off and her fellow peanut gallery joining in.

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
4:43 pm

You are a riot, ARed!

AmazonRed™ - dragging...

January 6th, 2011
4:45 pm

SCool – I think the problem with you calling her out was the fact that you came back to the blog to do so. And it was just kind of random when you went in on her.

But I laughed. :lol:

2CPTG

January 6th, 2011
4:45 pm

sittin on the short bus by myself………

drawin pictures of A Red with horns stickin out…..droolin…..”I cain’t stand her!”

SexyCool

January 6th, 2011
4:47 pm

Oh…is that what I did wrong? Oh…my bad. (lol)

But…I have to say, that I didn’t think that I *went in” on her. In fact, I remember saying that I liked her, that she was a bit dinghy (ditzy), but that I liked her. I think she is a cute, little beige-ish chick.

AmazonRed™ - dragging...

January 6th, 2011
4:48 pm

AmazonRed™ - dragging...

January 6th, 2011
4:48 pm

I remember saying that I liked her, that she was a bit dinghy (ditzy), but that I liked her.

Everyone saw through that backhanded compliment tho. :lol:

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
4:50 pm

SlimNumeroUno can't stop won't stop Queffing

January 6th, 2011
4:51 pm

Slim driving the Slow AND Shawt bus pulling up to pick up Ared and 2C….make sure you put your helmets on. :lol:

(Now singing: the wheels on the bus go round and round)

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
4:53 pm

Freddy Kruger’s version of the wheels on the bus go round and round….

i'm swiss™ (grasping at straws to get in them draws)

January 6th, 2011
4:54 pm

ARed / 2Can — You two need to just do the do & get it over with… :lol:

2CPTG

January 6th, 2011
4:58 pm

cain’t do that Swiss…..this makes for good ratings…

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
5:02 pm

Good night!

Back on topic: “Sometimes our light goes out but is blown again into flame by an encounter with another human being. Each of us owes the deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this inner light.” ~ Albert Schweitzer

AmazonRed™ - dragging...

January 6th, 2011
5:04 pm

You two need to just do the do & get it over with…

There is a height requirement to ride this ride, Swiss! :lol: :P

2CPTG

January 6th, 2011
5:06 pm

“There is a height requirement to ride this ride, Swiss!”

now jabbin pencil holes in the picture I drew……

AmazonRed™ - dragging...

January 6th, 2011
5:08 pm

2CPTG

January 6th, 2011
5:10 pm

real talk tho, you’re aiiiight with me, A Red….

I remember when you first started blogging we couldn’t stand one another….but I liken you to a new drink….an “acquired taste”…..

AmazonRed™ - dragging...

January 6th, 2011
5:15 pm

I remember when you first started blogging we couldn’t stand one another….

2Can – You were fine with me then and now boo. Couldn’t stand…? Yeah right, still just words on a screen! ;-)

SexyCool

January 6th, 2011
5:19 pm

I remember when ARed first started blogging. I interpreted one of her initial posts the wrong way and she let me have it…and she still lets me have it on occasion. (lol)

AmazonRed™ - dragging...

January 6th, 2011
5:22 pm

:oops: I’m sorry SCool. :lol:

2CPTG

January 6th, 2011
5:23 pm

ain’ t this kinda late for y’all….it’s usually Celisea whose here this late….

2CPTG

January 6th, 2011
5:24 pm

btw, A Red, I did call you, and you didn’t answer…..

AmazonRed™ - dragging...

January 6th, 2011
5:24 pm

Come on “slow bus!” I’ve always been on the 5:30 release schedule. :lol:

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
5:25 pm

Well, whoever leaves at the end of the day, please turn lights off and all heaters off!

Nite nite!

Celisea

January 6th, 2011
5:26 pm

I’m reading…I was contemplating if it would be tacky to jump in on the “ARed rubs me the wrong way, then again it could be me” convo but I opted not :)

Think I’ll get a tongue thrashing? It’s okay if she does, I’m acquiring a taste as well

2CPTG

January 6th, 2011
5:26 pm

ok, well, you “rarely” comment….and how am I supposed to know your schedule…..sure that cigar you smoked on NYE wasn’t packed with nuttin?????

AmazonRed™ - dragging...

January 6th, 2011
5:26 pm

btw, A Red, I did call you, and you didn’t answer…..

Someone gave you a bad number then. I don’t have any missed calls from unknown numbers

AmazonRed™ - dragging...

January 6th, 2011
5:28 pm

and how am I supposed to know your schedule

You don’t…but then don’t go making stuff up either then. :lol:

Celisea

January 6th, 2011
5:28 pm

snow flurries expected tomorrow…bundle up folks

2CPTG

January 6th, 2011
5:28 pm

your “nondescript” answering machine came on……

AmazonRed™ - dragging...

January 6th, 2011
5:29 pm

sure that cigar you smoked on NYE wasn’t packed with nuttin?????

This coming from a guy who’s been on the “slow” bus all afternoon??? :lol:

AmazonRed™ - dragging...

January 6th, 2011
5:29 pm

your “nondescript” answering machine came on……

Uh…then you definitely called the wrong number. :lol:

2CPTG

January 6th, 2011
5:30 pm

if you say so……

AmazonRed™ - dragging...

January 6th, 2011
5:31 pm

I do, and again you are sounding real stalkerish.

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
5:34 pm

ARed ~ are you smiling while you’re typing???

AmazonRed™ - dragging...

January 6th, 2011
5:34 pm

Leggs – Not anymore!

2CPTG

January 6th, 2011
5:35 pm

nooo, it was that day that I said I would…only that one time….gal, get off that mess….I’m not like whom you called out that one day….not me….I just think it would be cool to chat with you…but stalker, no.

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
5:36 pm

I didn’t think so…have to go to train station. Peace!

AmazonRed™ - dragging...

January 6th, 2011
5:38 pm

I just think it would be cool to chat with you…

So you decided to dig up a number you think is mine and to call it randomly?

You know they’re be an easier, less creepy way to do that right? :?

2CPTG

January 6th, 2011
5:41 pm

yeah…..but at the same time, I know how perceptions go on this blog, you ask someone for their number, and immediately stuff gets twisted…..tell ya what, how bout I just send a “friend request”….that cool?

AmazonRed™ - dragging...

January 6th, 2011
5:50 pm

but at the same time, I know how perceptions go on this blog,

So do like everyone else does on this blog. Please go through my publicist Leggs! Easy breezy. You should have a response within 3 business days! :lol:

busybodyk

January 6th, 2011
6:01 pm

IMO the 2 major things that makes someone marriage material are: you can spend long periods of time with them doing nothing in peace AND can make decisions with them and be on the same page about most of the small things, big things and in-between things.