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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

What makes someone marriage material?

I think it’s really interesting that the happy couples I know admit that they did not foresee marriage when they first met. I even remember one couple saying they downright disliked each other upon introduction!

If you can go from utter dislike to tumbling head over heels, I’d say that’s proof positive that we don’t always know what we are looking for in a future partner. Even if we claim to know what makes someone marriage material, would we be able to tell if someone had it or not?

I used to think that anyone who desires to be married is marriage material! Do you think it’s that simple, though?

How do you know if you are marriage material? How do your ideas about love, marriage and what you expect from them play a role in all of this?

428 comments Add your comment

Kym

January 6th, 2011
2:59 pm

I wonder what stories the boy will tell about my parenting when he is grown and out of my house? I know the shoes upside the head will be high on the list.

kimmie

January 6th, 2011
3:00 pm

Amred – See my mom was slick, thinking back. She had me so scared up, she could give me all the freedom in the world and I still walked the straight and narrow!LOL! Cause I had one or 2 FREE weekends and didn’t do much of nothing, too scared, she always had a way of finding out stuff.

Slick!! :wink:

PrincessNik

January 6th, 2011
3:00 pm

I can remember, breaking my neck trying to get in the house before the street lights came on, or at least before i heard my dad opening the screen door to let me know I had lost my mind by not already being in the house :lol:

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
3:00 pm

I know it’s cold and I’m sitting here in front of a heater, yet I can’t get a black cherry slurpie from QT out of my mind!

SlimNumeroUno

January 6th, 2011
3:02 pm

Yall make me wanna go watch all these old shows and view them with my now adult mind….dayum, I didn’t even think about Popeye and Olive Oyl like that. :shock:

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
3:02 pm

@kimmie ~ I think that was my mother’s tactic as well. I was so afraid of her, I could only walk the straight and narrow. When everyone was having fun at the “hookey parties,” I was in school learning something! Just knew if I went to even one of them, Mama would greet me at their front door! Fear Mom and Fear God definitely help steer me in the right direction!

Raqi V

January 6th, 2011
3:04 pm

I wonder what stories the boy will tell about my parenting when he is grown and out of my house?

Kym, okay? LOL I heard my son’s friends telling him I was mean one time here at the house. They thought they were going to tear up my house?!?!?! Oh hecky no.

I don’t mind being the mean mother. Not one bit.

kimmie

January 6th, 2011
3:04 pm

Leggs – You know, it’s funny cause I crave ice cream and slurpies and such in the winter, not summer so much!! I’ve always been crazy like that. I know exactly how you feel right now!LOL!!

2CPTG

January 6th, 2011
3:05 pm

Raqi, I asked ’cause that’s similar to whats going on now with me and my (step)daughter…..I’ve been “Dad” since she was 2 years old…she’ll be 14 next week…yet, her mother and I have been divorced now almost 10 years….”father” just recently showed back up in her life……ummmm, am I wrong to have some jealous bitter feelings? Cause I don’t distinguish between the two…I tell folks I have 2 kids, when I really only have one biological….I do for both equally, yet, “father” only does for his….when he’s not in jail, of course….

AmazonRed™ - dragging...

January 6th, 2011
3:06 pm

she always had a way of finding out stuff.

Girl yes! I was scared straight too. :lol:

She did admit to me years ago that she would tail us in her car when we walked home from school sometimes. Just to make sure we were doing what we were supposed to. So I’m sure she’s searched my room and all that jazz too.

kimmie

January 6th, 2011
3:07 pm

Raqi – The kids tell me all the time I’m mean. I told them it’s more fun being mean. They were :shock: LOL!!!

I know they love me. Daddy is a little softer with them. So somebody has to be the tough one. I don’t mind.

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
3:08 pm

@2C ~ although bitter is not a good word…you have every right to be. Even jealous/envious can fall in the mix. It’s human to have those emotions when the other parent steps back into the picture.

kimmie

January 6th, 2011
3:10 pm

Amred – I found out my dad had a buddy, a security guy, up at UGA when I was there. :shock: Found out years after I graduated and moved out!

It was all good though. I still had my fun, but I knew how to be discreet! :lol:

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
3:11 pm

Well, you may find it hard to believe, but lil leggs will tell you all day every day I’m mean. And, I am! I’m old school and I don’t play. You’re the child, I’m the adult and I pay all the bills. This is a dictatorship. I don’t mind my child being a little afraid of me. Not at all.

i'm swiss™ (grasping at straws to get in them draws)

January 6th, 2011
3:11 pm

Princess — I wouldn’t want any part of Olive Oyl… Can you imagine how floppity that CT would be after Popeye fisted her??? :lol:

2CPTG

January 6th, 2011
3:11 pm

Leggs, I guess what pisses me off most, is that my son only has ME….and she has me, and occasionally, him….

PrincessNik

January 6th, 2011
3:12 pm

i’m swiss

:lol: i can only laugh at that

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
3:15 pm

hmmmmm, 2C ~ that part shouldn’t piss you off at all. Why you feeling that way? She really only has you and she knows it!!!

Celisea

January 6th, 2011
3:15 pm

Wow, ya’ll have turned 2 pages

kimmie

January 6th, 2011
3:16 pm

Leggs – You remind me so much of this lady I used to work with at Delta years ago. She was a single parent of 2 and she did not play! We would hear her on the phone with them when she was at work. One time after a particularly blistering scolding she gave them, she came back to her seat, looked at a few that were staring at her and said “I use fear and it works for me!” I was LMAO!!!

Kym

January 6th, 2011
3:16 pm

@Raqi..I don’t think they think I am mean..because I always have food when they come to the house..as my son’s buddy said..your mom always has something to drink in the fridge. But I will keep it real with them. I took the boy and two of his buddies to volunteer with us cleaning up trash over in “the hood”..they got to paint over graffiti(sp) and see just how some folks are living. Also at some point they were having a discussion on girls..or about some girl..anywhoo..I asked why wouldn’t they pick the kind of quiet girl? The buddy replied..”How about this..I hang out with the really bad girls now..and then when I get older I marry the real nice, smart(this is keyword for nerd) girl like you and my mom? I am fully convince this way of thinking is genetic.

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
3:17 pm

@2C ~ your daughter is a prime example of what I was saying earlier. As they get older they will decided who they will give respect to. She knows he’s her biological father in and out of her life for whatever the reasons. She knows you’re her daddy…you have all of her respect.

2CPTG

January 6th, 2011
3:18 pm

I know Leggs…..kinda goes back to what Staceye was saying bout “pat on the backs”….I know I’m only doing what I’m supposed to do……even when it means being a dad to one that ain’t mine….when me and the mother ain’t even together!

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
3:19 pm

@kimmie ~ no doubt I give her lots of breathing room, but I make it known she is in no position to ever tell me what to do!

Kym

January 6th, 2011
3:19 pm

Oh yeah and the boy..said Yeah mom..how do you know they are bad girls unless you hang out with them? Again something not quite right with that male DNA….oh yeah and my son is truly convince I am the creator of his Hell on Earth.

AmazonRed™ - dragging...

January 6th, 2011
3:20 pm

Off topic – There is this guy on my FB friends list who is always asking what folks are up to in the middle to the day. He just asked. I always want to be like “working, n**ga! It’s 3 in the afternoon!”

And I don’t even use the n-word but dang. :lol:

DreamsMaterialize

January 6th, 2011
3:21 pm

2C step-popping can be a tricky job. On one hand you’re bittter/jealous that you’ve raised the child all these years, and all of a sudden ol’ boy can just waltz in after all these years and expect the same type of treatment. On the other hand, you don’t want to deny a man the opportunity to be in his kid’s life if he’s really serious about it. In the back of your mind you always knew this was something you’d have to contend with down the road, but you never like crossing that bridge when you get to it.

Raqi V

January 6th, 2011
3:21 pm

2CPTG, That is very honorable of you.

Mase is the same way. He freely says he has 3 kids. Even before Lizzy was born he told people he had two kids.

Not saying it because my guy has accepted my kids but I have always said there are some good men all around us. And no you are not wrong to feel the way you do . You raised her and that can never be undone.

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
3:22 pm

@2C ~ even if you’re only doing what you’re suppose to do, I don’t give a flying flip what anyone says, you still want a pat on the back somewhere along the line.. If not, they wouldn’t have Father’s Day nor Mother’s Day! If you want a pat on the back, nothing wrong with letting that be known!

Raqi V

January 6th, 2011
3:22 pm

kimmie, it’s good they know where you stand. I believe it will make for a smooth transition.

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
3:23 pm

@ARed ~ perhaps it’s the NYer in me, but if dude is always asking what people are doing in the middle of day, could it be he’s priming himself for a neighborhood heist???? :lol:

AmazonRed™ - dragging...

January 6th, 2011
3:25 pm

perhaps it’s the NYer in me, but if dude is always asking what people are doing in the middle of day, could it be he’s priming himself for a neighborhood heist????

:lol:

He clearly has no j-o-b. :lol: So perhaps that’s how he earns his income! :lol:

2CPTG

January 6th, 2011
3:26 pm

Leggs, I’m not looking for no kudos!

to be quite honest, it’s her mother, my ex, that I wanna kick in the neck!

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
3:27 pm

Things that make you go Hmmmmmmmmmm…….

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
3:29 pm

@2C ~ ok scratch the kudos part. You’re still bothered!

Well, pretty sure you have some chalk around the house/garage somewhere. Draw a pic of the mother on your driveway, stomp on her, then bring out the water house and clean up the evidence. That neighbor looking out the window will have a good laugh!

kimmie

January 6th, 2011
3:30 pm

2C – You will be blessed. Kids know whose really down for them.

My was a widower with 3 kids when he met & married my mother. Then they had 3 more together. My mother never made any distinction, she said she had 6 kids. I had 5 siblings, not 3 half & 2 whole.

For Real

January 6th, 2011
3:31 pm

2C: I know kids can be very selfish but they know exactly who butters their bread and they will remember. The key is to let them know without a doubt how you feel about them and not worry about what someone else is or is not doing.

2CPTG

January 6th, 2011
3:32 pm

“That neighbor looking out the window will have a good laugh!”

ha…..not really, cause I’m some’n like Purp…..off in the cut!

For Real

January 6th, 2011
3:33 pm

“to be quite honest, it’s her mother, my ex, that I wanna kick in the neck!” – 2C now punching the air like Cuba in Boys in the Hood.

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
3:34 pm

@2C ~ :lol: :lol: By any means necessary, get it out your system….

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
3:34 pm

@ForReal ~ boy he was mad! That was a good scene!

SlimNumeroUno

January 6th, 2011
3:35 pm

Blog Announcement….Slim will be having a lil CT of her own. :-D

2CPTG

January 6th, 2011
3:36 pm

Dreams, and For Real….I feel ya….cause babygirl does indeed know what time it is……

true story: My son graduates in May, and we were talking about arrangements and what not; Babygirl said, “I’m not even gonna invite “them” (her biological family); I’m only inviting y’all referring to me and my family…….so yeah, she knows….still cain’t stand niqqas who neglect their kids, then wanna show up years later like ain’t nuttin happened……

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
3:37 pm

@SlimNU ~ are you serious????

AmazonRed™ - dragging...

January 6th, 2011
3:38 pm

2Can – How you’re feeling is how women feel when they spend years with a dude and build him up, only to have him dump her and marry some 25 year old chick who works at Hooters. :lol:

Leggs

January 6th, 2011
3:39 pm

@2C ~ ok. I now understand you’re not concerned about her feelings toward her biological and wanting to be around him, you’re just pissed that this JackWagon is trying to come back on board and he doesn’t deserve to…didn’t necessarily get that vibe from your first post. Like I said, you’re her daddy and she knows it!

For Real

January 6th, 2011
3:39 pm

“Blog Announcement….Slim will be having a lil CT of her own.” – For Real passes the fugg out with a hard-on!!!!!

2CPTG

January 6th, 2011
3:40 pm

“2Can – How you’re feeling is how women feel when they spend years with a dude and build him up, only to have him dump her and marry some 25 year old chick who works at Hooters”

yeah, that is some bullsh!t……

PrincessNik

January 6th, 2011
3:41 pm

Slim will be having a lil CT of her own

Say what now (said in my Tasha Mack voice) :lol:

DreamsMaterialize

January 6th, 2011
3:41 pm

still cain’t stand niqqas who neglect their kids, then wanna show up years later like ain’t nuttin happened…
2C I feel you all day on this. To this day I can’t understand how a man could abandon his seed. I’m in it to win it with mine, and it’s obvious to anyone who knows me or even sees us interact. Keep doing your bruh. Your feeelings are justified, but your reward will be great kids who acknowledge that you went all out for them.